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I Locked My Real Self Away For 9 Years

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support

    Lost And Found? - When I was younger I decided that after My parents got divorced I wouldn't survive. I had wanted to die for years, when I was just four I wanted to just die, and...
    Missing22Aquarius Missing22Aquarius 18-21, F Mar 24, 2012

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    Leaving - I'm leaving this group tootles
    Missing22Aquarius Missing22Aquarius 18-21, F Oct 10, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I want to go to America. It's my happy place. My two favourite people are there actually my three favourite people are there. I love them all so much and they are the ones who...
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    I've been feeling in a rut for the last couple of years. I live in a boring town with absolutely nothing to do but go to the gym; which I enjoy. All I seem to do is just go to the...
    undecidedthoughts undecidedthoughts 18-21, M Apr 9

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    A year ago I found out that the reason for this is that my 'husband' is a sex addict and has been screwing hordes of other women and prostitutes. PUKE!!!! I find myself with three...
    shanm shanm 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    So... Yesterday marked 6 months since I was put in a hospital room for four hours, cameras in each corner, wearing nothing but a hospital gown and a necklace I refused to take off...
    yourguardianangel9613 yourguardianangel9613 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 31

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    I'm about to leave for school & i really don't wanna go. I hate school more than anything idk why. I feel really crappy right now & I don't feel like being around a lot of people...
    omgchapstick omgchapstick 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I don't know what's best for me at this point. Our marriage is on the rocks after the tsunami brought on by my wife. I don't need counseling... What I do need is a sexual life. I...
    CoolDad59 CoolDad59 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    When I see all of the violence, nonsense, whiners, lousy politicians, eroding civil liberties...I just feel like I want to buy up 350-500 acres on top of a mountain someplace, and...
    louie2037 louie2037 61-65, M Apr 9

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    I wanna find myself... I'm so lonely and sad because of the things happening around me... I wan't to go somewhere and stay there for a while...
    Thatssoawesome Thatssoawesome 13-15, F Apr 9

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    Ever since I was a young teen I had a big fasination of bodybuilding/bodybuilders and that passion has never left me. Sure i've had my ups and downs for the sport from time to time...
    theronnathan theronnathan 41-45, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    After one year of being lied to all I want to do is forget and move on but it's too hard when everything has happened so recently and so fast. Why did I have to fall for him? Why...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 7

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    i have had depression since high school cause i use to get bullied and i take everything at heart all the time no matter what people say to me i let it get to me, i have had help...
    westlife213 westlife213 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 2

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    Off on hols with the girls today! Athens here we come!! Going to miss a special person but roll on the summer!!!
    Lustral Lustral 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    i wish i had a best friend with whom i can talk all the experiences of my life and the one who makes me happy and sad. The search continues...
    kaku1992 kaku1992 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    For months now I have been working on my outlook on life. I have no wish to die or to run away. Perhaps go away but that is still being negotiated. See I love my wife, and we've...
    sjmckstan sjmckstan 36-40, F 6 hrs ago

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    I am a 15 year old Jewish, Orthodox girl. I was born 3 months early in Manchester, England. From the time i was a baby i have had a very hard life. I lived in fear every day of my...
    phobia1998 phobia1998 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    Desperately need a friend... I'm sorry this is a long background story but this is the abbreviated version. I'll try to make things clear. It may just come off as shallow, whiny...
    ArtsyPatrick ArtsyPatrick 41-45, M 3 Responses Mar 21

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    Soo I don't have a name for it... But yeahh Anger is a sign of depression they say that with alittle treatment you'll be okay. But one day when everything is gone and black and...
    olivias78 olivias78 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I don't want to live my whole life in self pity and torturing myself with your thoughts but why is it that your thoughts follow me wherever I go?Why is it that I have built a wall...
    Susana1985 Susana1985 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I think It first started when I was 10 or so. Yeah I know, it's sad, it's sick. That a kid at the age of 10 would self harm. For me... Well I had A LOT goin on, waaayyyy TOO much...
    Blissfulkissofdeath Blissfulkissofdeath 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    This is what someone else posted on FB: "Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You've had yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up...
    phoebegolde phoebegolde 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    Truth is I don't think I've ever had any Self Esteem or Confidence. I say that only because looking back throughout my life I cannot recall a time where I was truly okay with being...
    needinganescape needinganescape 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    I threw away my blades about 3 weeks ago. I self-harmed for about 2 years on and off. When I wasn't cutting, I was burning. It has been tough these last few weeks. I was addicted...
    Neverthinenough Neverthinenough 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I burn and cut. I have self harmed for 8 years, I started to try and get my life turned around an I made it to 4 months clean....until today I threw away 4 months clean and I cut...
    ashricard ashricard 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 24

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    I m married, I assume I m happy :) I have a few friends...... but true friendship is literally 'rare' ! I assume I had three true friends...... the first one passed away few years...
    nik7891 nik7891 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Every day, I grip my penknife tightly, sighing in relief as the blade cuts through my flesh, smiling as the blood drips from the cut, staining my skin crimson red, relieving me of...
    Josephineong Josephineong 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 18

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    My family is always loud and screaming. Every five minutes there has to be a fight again. Why is that? I just wish that people would understand that fighting is worthless. I always...
    PureWhiteMoonlight PureWhiteMoonlight 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I have been self harming for about 2 years and im trying to recover. I have scars all over my arms and thighs. I feel like i eill never be able to wear normal clothes again. I wont...
    smellsliketeenloners smellsliketeenloners 16-17, F Apr 9

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    With my first real post I want to be honest and open up with something that has been bothering me for years. I am sure several people post similar things but this is my honest and...
    SkipperSkips SkipperSkips 31-35, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I an not your typical "self harmer." For most people, when they think of self harm they think of razors and wrists and wearing long sleeves to cover it up. I am not that person. I...
    harperm97 harperm97 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 19

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    Michael Snyder Economic Collapse April 7, 2014 The level of employment in the United States has been declining since the year 2000. There have been moments when things have...
    Brooke01 Brooke01 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 7

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    So for the past month I've planned this spring break trip with my parents and two of my best friends. We've been shopping for clothes and sandals and beach necessities. Now 4 days...
    blackxrosexyuuki blackxrosexyuuki 18-21, F Mar 25

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    I have had low self esteem for 4 years. After all that happened and all those conflict with my used to be friends, i just didnt want attention to myself anymore. Everytime i get...
    Amature14 Amature14 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    I've been self harming for about a year now, but I haven't been able to for about 20 days now. It's killing me. I can't because I have been waiting for an opening to get a physical...
    sarahjade123 sarahjade123 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 26

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    So I've never really felt like I could connect with anyone at all, I'm 17 and I have no friends at all, but it's my fault that no one wants to speak to me because I push everyone...
    leahmusic96 leahmusic96 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    She was like an angel. She passed away 4 years ago but the pain is stronger than it was when it happened. She passex away when i was 22 and to this day, i cry at night just wishing...
    Loer Loer 26-30, M 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    "Ah yes I did go through the trouble of finding a picture of some other person to use but now since you ask I'm gonna admit this to you and show you my real self" -no one, ever...
    sighimnotgoodwithnames sighimnotgoodwithnames 22-25, F 6 Responses Mar 20

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    My mother, who was physically and mentally abusive when I was a child, hasn’t spoken to me for 16 years and has had nothing to do with her three grandsons who are now grown. They...
    writer109 writer109 51-55, F Mar 27

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    I don't know where to begin when It comes to my experience with self harm. I started cutting when I was 13, the first time I had ever self harmed was in my bathroom with a large...
    musicforthemorningafter musicforthemorningafter 13-15, F Apr 7

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    I am writing this experience because of the guilt, shame, and pain I feel about pushing someone away... If you can relate to this, please comment... I could use your support... I...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 8

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    I used to have dreams for you, until you burned nearly every bridge of opportunity you had. You were brilliant -- the type that should've won a full scholarship to an Ivy League...
    ali1993 ali1993 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    A few years ago the idea of running away formed and ever since then it has yet to stop running through my mind. I imagine it all kids of different ways, with a stranger...with a...
    NonexistantSoul NonexistantSoul 16-17, F 4 Responses Mar 25

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    The person I, imagined to be an angel, for years.... somehow changed colors so drastically... Can an angel have violent streaks is what I began to wonder.......Can an angel hurt...
    nik7891 nik7891 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    Finally I need a break. It's fine for people to talk and tell you that everything is going to be okay, that there are people who are definitely worse off than you but no matter...
    LoveToSpeak LoveToSpeak 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Hi, I'm Nadia I really want to run away, for many reasons. I jut want to be free. I would like to meet friends, maybe a cute guy. Message Me! BTW > I'm 13 from South Jersey I...
    otherkid otherkid 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    my advice to everyone- the best thing you can do for yourself is never start. I'm 14 and i struggled with self harm for a year, i'll admit i loved it. the blood running down my...
    SamTornado SamTornado 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 1

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    But is it possible? Can you really stay away from stupid people? I try. I try so hard but they find me!
    KittenHasaWhip KittenHasaWhip 46-50, F 6 Responses Apr 9

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    i don't self-harm for attention i do it because it makes me feel like i am in control of my body and my actions <3
    meaghanfisher4 meaghanfisher4 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 10

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    The way I am right now is not who I want to be. I search for love in all the wrong places just looking for anyone to love me the way I felt I never was. I do it in all the wrong...
    ariel2891 ariel2891 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    A couple years back to my freshmen year of college, I had a roommate. His girlfriend would come over all the time and stay for hours, and most times she'd bring a friend. One day...