I Lost a Child

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 200 People

    Sids Mom

    I had never heard that expression, SIDS MOM. I lost my first born child to SIDS. I woke up and she was lying next to me dead. At first I thought she was asleep but I felt something was wrong. I shook her and she didnt move. I pulled her leg and she was limp as a ragdoll. I tried...
    Abriee Abriee
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Aug 2, 2008

    Empty Cradle Broken Heart

    My baby boy, Mason died a week ago, today i have searched for answers , for anyone who can relate. It hurts so bad, I cant eat cant sleep dont wanna even breathe without you, I wake to feed you and you are no longer here, i woke to screams an hour and a half after feeding you at...
    mason2013 mason2013
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jul 10, 2013

    I Can Only Imagine

    Today is not a special day, it has no meaning whatsoever with regards to my son.  Other than this could be an anniversary of one of the days I was pregnant with him, and a day when I was rubbing my tummy, smiling, talking to him, planning our future games and road trips...
    vampireheart vampireheart
    31-35, T
    3 Responses Aug 30, 2008

    How Do You Help Friends Who Lost A Child?

    I need some advice...how do you help friends who lost a child? A couple who is dear to me have just lost their daughter...she was born premature but was doing fine until she developed an infection and was not able to heal from it...she lived 12 days...they just had the funeral...
    euft euft
    31-35, F
    Jul 14, 2013

    I spoke with The forensic coroner yesterday.

    Said my sons case is closed. they are officially ruling it as SIDS. I don't know what to feel or how to process. In part I'm ok with knowing it wasn't something that could have been prevented. But on the other, why would such a health baby boy just die. It's hard to process.
    crabbycakes26 crabbycakes26
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 18, 2014

    Most painful experience ever!

    Im so sorry about your losts:(
    fauxlady fauxlady
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 2, 2014

    it's been three years now.

    she's been gone as long as i had her. i still don't know where i'm going.
    hoblinbobgoblin hoblinbobgoblin
    41-45, M
    2 Responses May 1, 2015

    I was dating a woman,

    and I loved her. She got pregnant, and I proposed. She told her mother, who in the name of Jesus, made her have a miscarriage, because I come from a Law Enforcement and Military Family. She shoved her daughter down the porch steps. Kicked her screaming, that if she has a...
    Berzerker82 Berzerker82
    31-35, M
    May 30, 2015

    Today is been a hrs day

    for me since the lose of my twins 4 years ago. I'm trying to get they this day but it just doesn't seem to get any easier.
    browneyedgirl10 browneyedgirl10
    26-30, F
    1 Response May 11, 2014

    Angel In Disguise

    My daughter, Misha, died 2nd October 2013. Misha was born on Christmas 2006. She was only 6 when she died. Misha was a kind and sweet girl-she was adorable and curious. She would ask lots of questions while sitting in my lap. 8 months ago, she was diagnosed with leukaemia. The...
    JennikaCindieF JennikaCindieF
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 3, 2013

    I wanted this baby so much,

    we had been trying for so long and when I finally fell pregnant, he had already left me. I was confused and stressed out, i told him and it just made things worse, i tried my hardest to hold it all together and to do the best for the baby, but one day it must of all gotten to...
    illmindofhayley illmindofhayley
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 24, 2013

    Ella Grace

    I'm mostly writing this story for the people I'm friends with on EP so that I don't have to write each one a personal message. For those of you who know me know that my children are my world and my little girl has had health issues from the beginning but she was finally turning...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jun 28, 2013

    I know you're out there,

    somewhere, asking questions. I know it's been hard and very confusing at times. I know there are people around you, trying to hold you down. Preaching hate and quick to point to your flaws. I want you to know I don't agree with them. I'm so very proud of you. Even with every...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Dec 14, 2015

    I Don't Remember Agreeing to That

    I remember the day they told me my child was dead.  I started to laugh.  I was positive it was some kind of warped joke.  I kept waiting for the punch line.  Instead I just got the punch....straight to the gut.  I remember screaming (literally and at the...
    Pix Pix
    41-45, F
    2 Responses May 10, 2008

    1 Year!

    as some of you may know from reading my previous story that i lost my child and boyfriend but for the ones that don't here it is...this time last year i was trying to deal with the fact i had just lost my boyfriend, he had cancer, i was young but he was the love of my life and i...
    Lauren1307 Lauren1307
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 23, 2013


    In 1992, I had a miscarriage - a son, I would later learn. I had been told a year earlier that I couldn't get pregnant, at least not without the help of fertility drugs. My husband and I weren't ready for children, and were having marital problems anyway, so we were very...
    HappyHappyJoyJoy HappyHappyJoyJoy
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Dec 15, 2007

    My Sweet Little Angel.

    .. You came in the world with such violence and pain. I am so sorry little one, charged with you're protection for this I have failed. He beat me again today, I covered you with my arms the best I could. I am sorry little one I should not have ran away. Today I tried to leave...
    deleted deleted
    35 Responses May 14, 2015

    next week will be a year

    since I lost my baby. how do you get through this?
    Zoeykb Zoeykb
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 12, 2016

    My First Great Love

    .. 11 years after I first felt her inside me, and I still can remember everything so clearly.. I once wrote about her in College and the pain back then is back again.. .. Sept 21, 2002; looking at the viewing window of the hospital's NICU (Nursery Intensive Care Unit), I saw her...
    iamtheredbutterfly iamtheredbutterfly
    22-25, F
    Jan 30, 2013

    I lost my son before I

    even knew I was pregnant... The first I knew about him was when I woke up bleeding and in terrible pain. I think about him every day. I love you.
    messinghaml messinghaml
    18-21, F
    Jun 13, 2015

    I was pushing the 3 month mark

    when we walked in the clinic together. My husband took the elevator and I took the stairs in order to stall for more time, hoping that I would be late for my appointment. But my husband's motto is "If you're early. you're on time. If you're on time, you're late", thus, he made...
    ShyBubble ShyBubble
    22-25, F
    Jun 26, 2014

    Memorial Day

    My son died 19 months ago...he was a member of the military as is my other son...We went to the Memorial Day Service at the local cemetary today...and all I could do was cry. The National Anthem started the tears and when they did the Twenty-One Gun Salute and played Taps...I...
    checkers checkers
    3 Responses May 26, 2008

    My Angel Baby

    I lost my daughter when she was 7 months old. My mother in law was babysitting n she had a seizure n dropped her n the pool. It was 10 years ago june 24th n I still think about my Lindsay Grace every day
    Bear300 Bear300
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Jul 2, 2013

    I lost a baby at 15. I was in an abusive

    relationship and my bf got me pregnant at 15. When he found out, I was 6 1/2 months pregnant and he got violent and beat me til I lost the baby. I think I'm ready to move on with my new bf, and try to have a baby. am i wrong?
    AKimball AKimball
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2014

    One Of My Poems I Wrote After My Son Died Gods Plan

    I can remember the day you were born the first time I held you in my arms I thought you would always be with me but God had a different plan you see he only let me borrow you for a little while I still miss you and your beautiful smile years have passed since you went away but if...
    bmt9769 bmt9769
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Sep 1, 2011

    I lost my 5 year old son last month in a car

    accident. I miss him so much he was such a loving child. his baby sis wants her brother everyday. my husband died in the accident as well and our family has been changed forever. I cry everyday. if it was not for God and my daughter I would never get out of bed
    uliu uliu
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Jul 14, 2015

    Worst Time Of My Life

    i dont know where to start,or how to some this up best but three years ago i lost my unborn son jack,and the worst part of it was that it was all my fault due to drinking as many of my friends know i used to be an alcoholic+it was this that ultimately caused me to stop drinking i...
    geekoftheweek geekoftheweek
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Mar 11, 2011

    My son would of been 17 years old.

    I lost him at a very young age. He was 2 when he was killed. I still hold a tote with all of blankets and toys. Every year since he passed away, I get told to donate the clothes and blankets. I just can't find myself letting go of his things. As long as I'm alive, his belongings...
    deleted deleted
    8 Responses Mar 10, 2016
    jewwlie jewwlie
    46-50, F
    1 Response Jan 13, 2016

    To a miscarriage when I was 20.

    To this day I cry about it sometimes... I finally named her willow a few days ago (don't know if it was a boy or a girl.. But always thought of her as one (a daughter)) I imagine her sometimes with her bright face and big eyes and afro.. I miss her... Sometimes the loss of...
    PastelLime PastelLime
    1 Response Jun 1, 2015

    I Lost Everyone...

    i lost my boyfriend when i was 12 weeks pregnant, he found out he had cancer 7 weeks before he died, i was so upset after his death but happy because i was having his child. 26 weeks pregnant and still raw from the loss of my boyfriend i went in to labour and our son was born...
    Lauren1307 Lauren1307
    22-25, F
    17 Responses Oct 15, 2013

    A Prayer

    Never to have known you, but to have loved younever to have held you, like mothers doWith you i bury my hopes and dreamsFor an unknown child i will never see face to faceI also bury the love in my heart and the sadness of knowing we must partI pray to higher power, to do for you...
    jrbangel84 jrbangel84
    26-30, F
    Mar 9, 2012

    I Lost A Child

    Even thought I was raped and convieced a son and carried him full term! But God had other plan's for my son. On his tenth day of being born my son passed away in his sleep. My beautiful baby boy went in his sleep after having his feeding time and he feel asleep! when I work up...
    bluerose82 bluerose82
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 24, 2013

    Still Can't Get Over It......

    In June of 2006, when my husband came back from Iraq, I was suprised to find out we were pregnant. After no birth control for 4 years of marriage it was finally true. I was so excited. I was 2000 miles away from home but felt I could do the pregnancy just fine. With stress from...
    kstjohn kstjohn
    2 Responses Aug 25, 2010

    I was depressed all the time a mother of toe

    and one on the way I felt lost I had a home And husband a car a boat a family.. No reason I know now to be depressed I lost my 7 month old son he died in bed with my husband a freak accident who was blamed he went crazy beat me left me for my cousin he ended up In jail now he is...
    laceykight laceykight
    31-35, F
    Apr 13, 2014

    January 9, 2008

    Going into the second Trimester. Everything was o.k. I found out a week in half After I lost it. I felt ashamed alone, I woke up Morning of January 9th With Really bad Cramps, 10x worse than my period. So I Tried to take it easy, Lay down Rest. Well I lay on the couch And stayed...
    matthewsmommy matthewsmommy
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Aug 11, 2008

    A Letter To My Son

    Dear Ibrahim,         Though you never knew me, you were the most precious thing I had ever seen with my eyes or held in my hands. Though you never took your first breath, you took my breath away, when I held you in my arms for the first time.  You are my first born...
    calicuz calicuz
    41-45, M
    27 Responses Jan 30, 2011

    We Did Nothing Wrong...

    I was 32 weeks pregnant, I was driving our car to a friends house around 930 at night with my husband in the passenger seat. We didn't have the radio up loud, we were just enjoying eachothers company when all I saw was headlights. A man swerved into our lane and hit us head on...
    Hughes3313 Hughes3313
    1 Response Sep 1, 2013

    vent! my niece can get pregnant

    that does drugs and I can't when I have a stable home to provide......my family expects me to be OK with it...nope
    Zoeykb Zoeykb
    26-30, F
    Feb 8, 2016

    Last Walk

    Today I took my son's ashes to Starved Rock. He had a favorite remote canyon. I was with his mother and his wife. I had been moving for few days and was sore and stiff. Still, I carried his ashes along the long trail. I had walked many times wiht him down this trail. But...
    demorcan demorcan
    61-65, M
    3 Responses Jun 10, 2012

    It changed everything,

    forever. I was 18 and she was less than two months old when shaken to death by her dad. She would be sixteen this year and I've spent so much of my life missing her. It's easier. I can breathe again. Time doesn't exactly heal that wound but it does make it bearable. I wonder...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 3, 2015

    I had a very difficult time

    when I was first an empty nester. It was brutal really. We lost our precious baby daughter to a sudden and devastating terminal illness, she was 22. Our only son went to war, twice. Our eldest child, also a daughter, had four consecutive miscarriages in another country. How’s...
    hillbillycrone hillbillycrone
    56-60, F
    1 Response Feb 15, 2014

    7 years ago today, I lost my 2 year old angel

    to terrible accidednt. I still miss him every day. I have worked hard to get where I am now. I am proud of the progress I have made, but it still hurts so much. To all you parents out there who have lost children, I send you love today. Please take care of yourselves and...
    jeffyduke jeffyduke
    46-50, M
    May 21, 2015

    I Lost Amber to a Drunk Driver.

    She was ten years old. The man who did it will never hurt any one again. He had a bunch of previous DWI convictions. But he got off each time. He didn't get off from this one. I am a Viet Nam Veteran. I thought I was immuned to the emotion of Death. I was wrong. I saw her...
    retiredfather retiredfather
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 4, 2009

    I lost my beautiful baby boy at only 14 months.

    They said undefined. How is that possible? It's either SIDS or somthing, but every test they took gave no results. Said it would b side if he was under a year but since he was over it's undefined! The 27 will b three years. I now have a new bf we live together and take care of...
    deleted deleted
    Sep 2, 2014

    Before I tell my story,

    I need to mention that this story is not a story about the death of my child, however I was not sure where else to share this experience. Unfortunately, the result of this experience is the same, my daughter is no longer with me. Now, let me tell you my story: A little over a...
    Rhun Rhun
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Dec 4, 2013

    February 17 2000- Early on this morning,

    two police officers showed up at the club I was dancing at(don't judge me!) and ask "Are you the mother of J------?". That was my 5 year old daughter. I said I was and they told me to throw some clothes on and come with them. "An ambulance was called to your home shortly after...
    CocoaBelle CocoaBelle
    46-50, F
    1 Response May 24, 2015
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