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I Lost a Loved One to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 358 People

    Mason!!!

    My best friend Mason shot himself in the chest the 2nd semester of our sophmore year of high school. He was only 15 at the time and it was only a couple of days before he's 16th birthday. we had only one class together and it was physics class the last one of the day. We became...
    MandiLD MandiLD 18-21, F 1 Response May 2, 2012

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    My best friends sister committed suicide about

    three years ago... I can still remember the day it happened. It was June 21. We had just gotten done with our play practice and I went home. Later that night, a police officer who is best friends with my dad, came over. He asked me if I knew Kristin. That was her name... I told...
    sarahjade123 sarahjade123 13-15, F Mar 26

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    I Lost My Boyfriend

    Chris I love you, and you'll never be forgotten. I know we weren't dating for long, but I still love you. I always will. Yes you acted like everything was fine and told me you were okay, but I'm not mad. I'm just sad.. I miss you. I wish I could have helped. <3
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 15, 2013

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    My Beloved Husband

    On 12-26-2009 I lost my husband to suicide. I had gone to get plumbing parts to fix a broken pipe. I called him from the store to ask if we needed any pipe insulation. He said no, so I told him I'd see him after while. I left the store and decided to go feed our horses before I...
    texasdancer texasdancer 41-45 3 Responses Jun 19, 2010

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    My Father

    My dad took his own life on July 24, 2012. Earlier that day, he sent me a text message saying "Have a truly outstanding day. I love you so much!". He shot himself in the head with a gun. I don't know the exact reason why he did it, but I heard it was because he had an...
    Tommy457 Tommy457 16-17 4 Responses Aug 16, 2012

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    She hummed inside her thoughts Sung the hymns

    of the ones she had lost The characters in her mind she had embossed The only way to them was her life it cost A New Year has come along The intensity of the last left scars She no longer had a sense of right and wrong She just wants to live among the golden stars Another nip...
    FallenxPerfection FallenxPerfection 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    My Brother!

    When I was 16, my brother of 18 took his own life by hanging himself in our garage. I was the last one to talk to him. Not only did i lose my Brother that day, I lost my best friend, a father figure, and my positivity in life. Everyday I strive to find answers in this world...
    clarkLloyd clarkLloyd 31-35 1 Response Aug 20, 2012

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    "If Only"

    He was our oldest brother, my hero, and the sibling I was closest to - my touchstone. I knew he was an alcoholic and getting sicker. I just didn't know what to do since he wouldn't talk to me about any of it. I guess he didn't want to ask his little sister for...
    soonermom soonermom 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 25, 2008

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    My Brother

    Last year I spent a week with my brother, while my mother was in the hospital. It was kind of a weird time. We hadn't really gotten along in a long time. When I was little he'd take me with him on his dates. I went everywhere with both of my big brothers. Then he got married...
    Vsti71 Vsti71 31-35, F Oct 5, 2013

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    My Closest Cousin

    On March 15,2009 my life was changed forever. At around 5:30 I received a frantic but confused call from my uncle. Just as he was asking me if i had heard from any other family members that day my cousin cindy was on the other line. I clicked over to hear her tears. My cousin and...
    MissMyCousin MissMyCousin 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2009

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    Missing A Piece Of My Heart.

    I'm 13 and i lost my dad to suicide 2 months ago he was my best friend and now 'm missing him alot and it feel lonely with out him when i found out he passed away it was a like the whole world stoped he would have never done this if he didn't drink that first shot of achol now i...
    neird10 neird10 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 19, 2012

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    I Miss Jack Terribly

    He moved to my neighborhood and the neighbors couldn't wait to introduce us since we both rode motorcycles. I saw him the first time while we were both out mowing, he lived across the street from me. We hit it off immediately and shared coffee before work every day, spent most...
    Aintgotjack Aintgotjack 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2009

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    For me it started late September my senior year

    of high school when I came home to text my boyfriend of almost 2 years I had made homecoming court. I was so excited by the unexpectedness of it and I had left my phone at home that day. Next to my cell phone was a letter saying how much he loved me and that he was sorry. A full...
    monaghad monaghad 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 11

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    It will be four years in March.

    I miss you a lot more, lately. I think about you much more. I feel sometimes i am becoming you, as though i am a creation of yours. A child you formed before death that grew and grew alone. I had no one to share the bad days with. I had support, i had friends, i had family, but...
    theMETAmonologue theMETAmonologue 18-21, F Feb 7

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    I'Ll Never Know

    I'll never know what could've been. I'll never know if it could've been prevented. Hell, I'll never know what would've been if she had told me the truth. But. Right in this moment. Here. Now. I know that I'll never see my father again. He's gone. My mother told me it was liver...
    sophiagrad sophiagrad 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 16, 2013

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    My Cousin

    My mom just told me a couple of days ago. He was my cousin. She told me how it happened and for a while I couldnt get the visual out of my head. I kept imagining what his last moments must have been like. I don't like to think about it. His memorial is in a few days and I'll be...
    SarcasmIsAnArt SarcasmIsAnArt 18-21, F Oct 5, 2013

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    I lost my sister but I think I'll honor her

    memory by writing a story about her life maybe post it on here
    Sufferedloss Sufferedloss 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 23

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    Not Realizing How Much Pain He Was In Till It Was Too Late

    On Feb 14 valentines day I lost my sons father to suicide it was so unexpected.I got a phone call from a friend telling me that everyone was saying he was dead and committed suicide He committed suicide at a gun range he shot himself in the head am still so hurt over this I wish...
    21pink 21pink 26-30 4 Responses Sep 2, 2012

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    The Death Of A Son

    I originally posted this story about 8 months ago in another group and decided that it might belong here as well. The feelings I have are indescribable and many. I don't know how, when, or if I will ever be the same, but I do know that time does dull the pain ... When I was a...
    ScatteredGrapes ScatteredGrapes 41-45, F Aug 8, 2012

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    Another April

    One more week and I will have survived another April. The intensity of despair and sorrow has become a dull ache, silent, because now they don't know and I don't want to tell them. It isn't because of the stigma. I consider that irrelevant. I just don't consider them, the latest...
    FeelingOrange FeelingOrange 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Since I was little, I always got along very

    well with my father. Relationship with my mother on the other hand has always been very complicated, but overall I think we were a normal family, nothing too complicated. But when I was 10, everything started to fall apart. Mom and dad were fighting a lot more, divorce was on...
    Janeliii Janeliii 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    Loss Of A Close Cousin:(

    i remember me waking to find my mom in the kitchen making breakfast so happy like nothing was wrong... Then my dad came home. Not that i hated my dad but it was the news a brought that was hurtful... My dad never really came home from work until around 6:30-7:00 so this was...
    hidelesscat hidelesscat 26-30 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    After a 20 year hurtful marriage I meet my soul

    mate & the love of my life in 2012. He was my life, he loved me like no other, he showed me what love really was, he was my rock, my best friend, my everything. He loved my kids & grand kids & they loved him. He gave us the life the support the love the friendship the home...
    sugarmonkey76 sugarmonkey76 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    My Dad

    I lost my father to suidide august 10th 2013 It all started when my mom tried to commit suicide and she went to rehab and was also a heavy drinker. My dad abused her once. My mom and dad fought almost every night. My mom got in a fight with my dad one night and went to a friends...
    LostSuicide LostSuicide 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    My Best Friend And Partner

    We met when we started working at the same company at the same time. we hit off great, and we became the terible twosome at work, we where unseperable. He was married with 2 beutiful children, but in a broken down marriage, and i was in a new realtionship with someone i met...
    tinkerbell222013 tinkerbell222013 26-30 1 Response Feb 6, 2013

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    We Didn't Even Say Good Night

    Our last conversation was so regular. He called me dweeb and I called him a jerk and we laughed together. We called a truce and retreated to our rooms and we didn’t even say good night. I wish things hadn’t gone so normally, I wish he would’ve let me in. Was I such a bad...
    ecsited ecsited 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 19, 2013

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    I Am At A Lost For Words

    I was raised by my mother and grandparents. My father was absent in my life and my grandfather took his role. He was my dad and raised me from a baby until I was a grown woman. He supported my mistakes, guided me to do good and loved me unconditionally. I lived with him my whole...
    Ccuttle1787 Ccuttle1787 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 7, 2013

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    My Puzzle Piece Is Missing

    My husband... charismatic, brave, loving and a wonderfully wonderful father and provider lost his battle with his inner demons April 7th 2009. We were together at 15 married at 20 welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world at 21 and a bouncing baby boy at 26. He was my best...
    FionaFresh FionaFresh 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 26, 2013

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    Still Grieving

    I lost my father 5 years ago..... It is still so hard to cope, due to no closure, why did he take his own life? here is his story of his life until his death. My father had the grunge biker look, tattoo's, mustache and ball head. But he had the selfless heart, he was used by...
    Auricor Auricor 26-30, M Apr 30, 2013

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    My Mom

    It was right before Valentine's day, this year. I was a normal fifteen year old at school, having fun with all her friends. In fact, I think it was the day of our swimming carnival. But I can't really remember. What I do remember is going home, under a heavy grey sky, unlocking...
    thelyingrose thelyingrose 16-17 2 Responses Aug 11, 2012

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    Joey

    His name was Joey, I met him at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school. We shared English and World History together, and I noticed him noticing me. Every time I looked at him he was looking at me. He was cute in that sloppy clothes, not-trying-too-hard skater boy look...
    autimom autimom 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 15, 2009

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    My aunt took pills, and was alone

    when it happened. She wasn't found until the day after, where my cousin visited her. He found her laying on the bathroom floor, and broke down. He then called letting us know what happened. A week later he kept told us he was "so so sorry" .We found out he shot himself Because...
    flinm flinm 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 18

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    All These Years I Thought It Was A Heart Attack , Please Help!

    Dear EP, I am a 40 year old man with 2 older siblings. Our mother is 76 years old and her health has seen better days. Our father passed away when I was just two years old as the result of a heart attack. That is what she always told us anyway. Being the youngest I was always...
    sobernlost sobernlost 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 7, 2013

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    My Dad committed suicide

    when I was 13 turning 14, March 2011, he tried twice and finished before we got to him the second time. He was a really good dad. He just battled severe depression. So did my mom. Now that he's gone, I feel like I've lost her too. He saved my mom and my step-siblings from really...
    blondemelody blondemelody 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 3

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    10 Years

    It's been 10 years since my boyfriend died. We'd had a massive fight and he told me what ever happens will be on my conscience and handed me a bullet. I always regret falling asleep and missing his final call as I could have stopped it or at least told him that I loved him one...
    Tarynlyn Tarynlyn 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    A Little Advice Please? Found A More Fitting Experience To Post My Story On To, Maybe I Can Give You My Views Too

    When I was 11 my mother died to suicide and apparently it was due to schizophrenia, I had a hard time as kid coping with it because no one told me what it was and what was going on with my mum. I knew it had been happening but she had medications to deal with it and so while I...
    WishingonashootingStar WishingonashootingStar 18-21, F Apr 14, 2013

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    My Drug Addict Of A Mother

    Dear Mom, I will always love you even though you nearly killed me once. I never would have wanted to see you leave so soon. Even when at times I felt like you didn't love me, I knew deep down that you did. You left to early. I wanted to tell you a lot. About my new family and...
    TakenYoung TakenYoung 18-21 2 Responses Mar 25, 2013

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    My Dad Took His Own Life...

    On Jan 14th of this year, life as I knew it changed forever...I have always been incredibly close to my mum and dad, we are a close family. But there were skeletons in the closets, family rows and relationships that were lost and/or damaged. About 25 years ago, I recall my first...
    Jessicaneal Jessicaneal 31-35, F Sep 26, 2013

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    Hidden Grief? Please Help Anyone.

    I just turned 17. My mum killed herself the 14th May 2012. I miss her so much, but I can never find time to express my feelings. It was almost unexpected- she had had depression her entire life and had made several attempts to take her own life but she was healing slowly, and...
    hydrangea23 hydrangea23 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 27, 2012

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    Just My Thoughts

    i'm missing my dad today. well honestly i miss him every day, theres no way to get around it, he's gone. but its days like these, when one small thing happens- or in this case something huge- that effects me for the worse, or the better, something that i could of shared with him...
    bluebell14 bluebell14 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    Three people now actually.

    ... When i was 7, i lost my Grampy to suicide. He hung himself while intoxicated... November of 2011, My eldest brother, James, ended his life with me there. I tried to stop him. But to no avail. He shot me in my stomach. Then took his life while i lay there bleeding. Then...
    TeganLynne TeganLynne 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    Miss U Mum

    I lost my mum to suicide on the 13/04/2012.. my mum was my bestfriend and losing her has been so hard. Not seeing her everyday like we used too. The pain still hurts in my chest and tears flow most days thinking of her.. miss and love her so very much  
    holly51 holly51 26-30 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    Missing My Big Brother!!

    Me and my brother are 4 years apart, we weren't always the best of friends but I always looked up to him. He was a great friend, always so full of life...I'm not sure what happend. Just days after my brothers birthday he hung himself. He had a family, a job, friends, and no...
    Kiki0804 Kiki0804 22-25, F Nov 30, 2013

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    Why

    When I was twelve my older brother was sixteen. He was getting bullied in school and it was hard for him. He always came to me to cry to because I was younger. It was hard watching him go though that but I thought he would be alright. The morning of his birthday I went to his...
    Caitlynn567 Caitlynn567 13-15, F 6 Responses Feb 16, 2013

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    She took a bottle of pills.

    .. She never even made it to the emergency room... I still cry about it sometimes...
    WatchOutItsKyle WatchOutItsKyle 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 6

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    Untitled Poem Of Anguish, In Spanish

    Nadie los escuchó ni tu lloraría ni la pistola. Nadie lo sabía ni tus secretos ni el dolor de tu alma. Hoy tu dolor es mío. I wrote this poem in Spanish on the 5th anniversary of my daughter's death, partly to signify that I could not share this pain with others (my family...
    FeelingOrange FeelingOrange 46-50, F Jan 25, 2013

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    Father

    My father committed suicide when I was a baby. I spent a long time resenting that. Now I see it from his point of view. I can't quite forgive but I accepted it.
    rh12345 rh12345 22-25, M 1 Response Apr 15, 2013

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    I Lost My Dad

    to suicide just this last summer.  Sometimes, actually oftentimes, it feels like I found out about it yesterday.  The weird part, and the part that makes it CRAZY to deal with, is my Dad was one of the most loving people, most caring people. His marriage and...
    mgnwilhelm mgnwilhelm 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21, 2010

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    To My Brother: A Lament

    On March 13th, 2011 I received a call around 11:30pm from my frantic sister telling me that my baby brother, Clint, had shot himself in my parent's basement. How do you respond, react, or even comprehend what is being said to you in such a moment? How do you feel comfort, mourn...
    ArbitraryMusing ArbitraryMusing 22-25 3 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    I just lost my mother to suicide.

    This December 15th of 2013 was the worst day of my life. I miss my mommy my best friend. She has suffered from mental illness for her entire life just as I do. She killed herself on the day that her girlfriend ordered her to leave the house. My mom is a beautiful woman who gives...
    Xandi1990 Xandi1990 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    My Cousin

    Sometimes David, there are days when you have me wondering if you weren't the smart one out of all us. I only say that due to the circumstances of our family medical histories and the inevitable problems we all going to inevitably face as we get older. The family history makes...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Apr 4, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    Danny I still miss you. You were so loving and caring. I can see you making goofy faces in class trying to make me laugh. It makes me want to cry now. Why didn't I go with you...
    courtneyblue courtneyblue 18-21, F Mar 26

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    Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Nobel prize of literature. Inspired me during my younger years with his magic realism and the fascinating town of Macondo. Rest in piece brother of...
    breathingeasy breathingeasy 41-45, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    On October 19th 2012 I lost my boyfriend to suicide. After a long journey of trying to help with his ever deteriorating behaviour he took his life. I am still struggling to...
    Nats07 Nats07 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 3

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    I lost my 18 year old son to suicide on September 09, 2012. IT has been a very emotional experience for me. I have my moments of sadness and then my moments of just good memories...
    esanchez5195 esanchez5195 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 31

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him...
    shylainey shylainey 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 6

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