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I Lost a Loved One to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 403 People

    Just My Thoughts

    i'm missing my dad today. well honestly i miss him every day, theres no way to get around it, he's gone. but its days like these, when one small thing happens- or in this case something huge- that effects me for the worse, or the better, something that i could of shared with him...
    bluebell14 bluebell14 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 24, 2013

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    I Lost My Dad

    to suicide just this last summer.  Sometimes, actually oftentimes, it feels like I found out about it yesterday.  The weird part, and the part that makes it CRAZY to deal with, is my Dad was one of the most loving people, most caring people. His marriage and...
    mgnwilhelm mgnwilhelm 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 21, 2010

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    All These Years I Thought It Was A Heart Attack , Please Help!

    Dear EP, I am a 40 year old man with 2 older siblings. Our mother is 76 years old and her health has seen better days. Our father passed away when I was just two years old as the result of a heart attack. That is what she always told us anyway. Being the youngest I was always...
    sobernlost sobernlost 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 7, 2013

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    My Beloved Husband

    On 12-26-2009 I lost my husband to suicide. I had gone to get plumbing parts to fix a broken pipe. I called him from the store to ask if we needed any pipe insulation. He said no, so I told him I'd see him after while. I left the store and decided to go feed our horses before I...
    texasdancer texasdancer 41-45 3 Responses Jun 19, 2010

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    Finally I have met The Love of my Life,

    we were soulmates and soo beyond happy. He was struggling with dark thoughts. We work so hard together to overcome it. He couldnt take the pain. He left me 3 months ago. I ask everyday: Wasnt I good enough to stay on Earth and love each other ? He promised he would never leave...
    Ally0418 Ally0418 36-40, F 3 Responses May 11

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    I lost my sister but I think I'll honor her

    memory by writing a story about her life maybe post it on here
    Sufferedloss Sufferedloss 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 23

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    To My Brother: A Lament

    On March 13th, 2011 I received a call around 11:30pm from my frantic sister telling me that my baby brother, Clint, had shot himself in my parent's basement. How do you respond, react, or even comprehend what is being said to you in such a moment? How do you feel comfort, mourn...
    ArbitraryMusing ArbitraryMusing 22-25 4 Responses Apr 25, 2011

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    I just lost my mother to suicide.

    This December 15th of 2013 was the worst day of my life. I miss my mommy my best friend. She has suffered from mental illness for her entire life just as I do. She killed herself on the day that her girlfriend ordered her to leave the house. My mom is a beautiful woman who gives...
    Xandi1990 Xandi1990 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    3 years ago and i still love you like i

    promised trevor. Why did you have to do this. I miss you more than anything. I would do anything just to hug you or hear your voice
    WendyDarlin WendyDarlin 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 29

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    I dreamt my husband was alive again.

    .. But hurt somewhere. I was trying to find him and he was trying to avoid me. I woke up feeling as if I lost him all over again.
    Lunalovexo Lunalovexo 22-25, F 2 Responses May 7

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    Untitled Poem Of Anguish, In Spanish

    Nadie los escuchó ni tu lloraría ni la pistola. Nadie lo sabía ni tus secretos ni el dolor de tu alma. Hoy tu dolor es mío. I wrote this poem in Spanish on the 5th anniversary of my daughter's death, partly to signify that I could not share this pain with others (my family...
    FeelingOrange FeelingOrange 46-50, F Jan 25, 2013

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    2 days ago, he did it.

    He was finally successful. He may have left the Earth happy, but he leaves me here broken and alone. I am already forgetting our memories, his laugh, his smile. I don't ha e many pictures, because he never liked them. I guess that's good in some ways, so I don't have to see his...
    NoOrdinaryDork NoOrdinaryDork 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    I found Erica was in coma with very little

    chance of recovering from on my first day at work. I knew instantly through the tone of sisters voice on the phone that this time Erica had been successful in hurting herself. Erica had so long many layers of personality. I remember her from six years old. She was competitive...
    pollypocket27 pollypocket27 22-25, F May 18

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    My Puzzle Piece Is Missing

    My husband... charismatic, brave, loving and a wonderfully wonderful father and provider lost his battle with his inner demons April 7th 2009. We were together at 15 married at 20 welcomed a beautiful baby girl into the world at 21 and a bouncing baby boy at 26. He was my best...
    FionaFresh FionaFresh 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 26, 2013

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    My aunt took pills, and was alone

    when it happened. She wasn't found until the day after, where my cousin visited her. He found her laying on the bathroom floor, and broke down. He then called letting us know what happened. A week later he kept told us he was "so so sorry" .We found out he shot himself Because...
    flinm flinm 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 18

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    Three people now actually.

    ... When i was 7, i lost my Grampy to suicide. He hung himself while intoxicated... November of 2011, My eldest brother, James, ended his life with me there. I tried to stop him. But to no avail. He shot me in my stomach. Then took his life while i lay there bleeding. Then...
    TeganLynne TeganLynne 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    Miss U Mum

    I lost my mum to suicide on the 13/04/2012.. my mum was my bestfriend and losing her has been so hard. Not seeing her everyday like we used too. The pain still hurts in my chest and tears flow most days thinking of her.. miss and love her so very much  
    holly51 holly51 26-30 3 Responses May 13, 2013

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    I still remember your voice like it was

    yesterday, 6 months today since you have been gone love you my forever best friend, no one can hurt you anymore XX
    Emilushyou Emilushyou 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    Not Realizing How Much Pain He Was In Till It Was Too Late

    On Feb 14 valentines day I lost my sons father to suicide it was so unexpected.I got a phone call from a friend telling me that everyone was saying he was dead and committed suicide He committed suicide at a gun range he shot himself in the head am still so hurt over this I wish...
    21pink 21pink 26-30 4 Responses Sep 2, 2012

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    10 Years

    It's been 10 years since my boyfriend died. We'd had a massive fight and he told me what ever happens will be on my conscience and handed me a bullet. I always regret falling asleep and missing his final call as I could have stopped it or at least told him that I loved him one...
    Tarynlyn Tarynlyn 31-35, F 5 Responses Jul 12, 2013

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    My best friends sister committed suicide about

    three years ago... I can still remember the day it happened. It was June 21. We had just gotten done with our play practice and I went home. Later that night, a police officer who is best friends with my dad, came over. He asked me if I knew Kristin. That was her name... I told...
    sarahjade123 sarahjade123 13-15, F Mar 26

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    Since I was little, I always got along very

    well with my father. Relationship with my mother on the other hand has always been very complicated, but overall I think we were a normal family, nothing too complicated. But when I was 10, everything started to fall apart. Mom and dad were fighting a lot more, divorce was on...
    Janeliii Janeliii 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    Why

    When I was twelve my older brother was sixteen. He was getting bullied in school and it was hard for him. He always came to me to cry to because I was younger. It was hard watching him go though that but I thought he would be alright. The morning of his birthday I went to his...
    Caitlynn567 Caitlynn567 13-15, F 6 Responses Feb 16, 2013

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    "It only takes a second

    for my world to come crumbling down" His name was Tyler. He was cute and funny and crazy... And now he's dead. Suicide. I was in seventh grade he was in eighth when I met him. In comedy improve. He loved comedy. And we both got randomly picked. Both of in in the hall for what...
    Cozie Cozie 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 11

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    Forever Missing Him...

    N early 12 and a half years ago a police officer knocked on my door to tell me that my husband had died. It's strange, because I had a "feeling".  Many little things were just not quite right that evening, and when I heard the knock on the door I knew...
    cc5439 cc5439 41-45, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2009

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    Loss Of A Close Cousin:(

    i remember me waking to find my mom in the kitchen making breakfast so happy like nothing was wrong... Then my dad came home. Not that i hated my dad but it was the news a brought that was hurtful... My dad never really came home from work until around 6:30-7:00 so this was...
    hidelesscat hidelesscat 26-30 2 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    My Brother!

    When I was 16, my brother of 18 took his own life by hanging himself in our garage. I was the last one to talk to him. Not only did i lose my Brother that day, I lost my best friend, a father figure, and my positivity in life. Everyday I strive to find answers in this world...
    clarkLloyd clarkLloyd 31-35 1 Response Aug 20, 2012

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    "If Only"

    He was our oldest brother, my hero, and the sibling I was closest to - my touchstone. I knew he was an alcoholic and getting sicker. I just didn't know what to do since he wouldn't talk to me about any of it. I guess he didn't want to ask his little sister for...
    soonermom soonermom 41-45, F 4 Responses Jun 25, 2008

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    Missing A Piece Of My Heart.

    I'm 13 and i lost my dad to suicide 2 months ago he was my best friend and now 'm missing him alot and it feel lonely with out him when i found out he passed away it was a like the whole world stoped he would have never done this if he didn't drink that first shot of achol now i...
    neird10 neird10 13-15, F 3 Responses Apr 19, 2012

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    Missing My Big Brother!!

    Me and my brother are 4 years apart, we weren't always the best of friends but I always looked up to him. He was a great friend, always so full of life...I'm not sure what happend. Just days after my brothers birthday he hung himself. He had a family, a job, friends, and no...
    Kiki0804 Kiki0804 22-25, F Nov 30, 2013

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    lallyxo lallyxo 16-17, F 1 Response May 5

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    How I Told A Friend About Her Death.

    Find a good Do Jo and learn all you can about Judo "The Gentle Way", this way you can learn what true discipline really is. Focus grasshopper, {man I hate that line, LOL} this is where I learned what discipline, duty, and truth is real, and alive. My first wife had just committed...
    michael1950 michael1950 61-65, M 2 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    For me it started late September my senior year

    of high school when I came home to text my boyfriend of almost 2 years I had made homecoming court. I was so excited by the unexpectedness of it and I had left my phone at home that day. Next to my cell phone was a letter saying how much he loved me and that he was sorry. A full...
    monaghad monaghad 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 11

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    I have loved friend who was wife of my friend.

    But as she was wife of my friend, i controlled my feelings and never spoken to her or anyone. We used to talk to each other like good friends and then one day I got a news she committed suicide and It's biggest shock of my life.. Recently her friend spoke to me that she was...
    lovencare lovencare 46-50, M 1 Response Jun 20

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    After a 20 year hurtful marriage I meet my soul

    mate & the love of my life in 2012. He was my life, he loved me like no other, he showed me what love really was, he was my rock, my best friend, my everything. He loved my kids & grand kids & they loved him. He gave us the life the support the love the friendship the home...
    sugarmonkey76 sugarmonkey76 36-40, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2013

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    My Dad

    I lost my father to suidide august 10th 2013 It all started when my mom tried to commit suicide and she went to rehab and was also a heavy drinker. My dad abused her once. My mom and dad fought almost every night. My mom got in a fight with my dad one night and went to a friends...
    LostSuicide LostSuicide 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2013

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    lallyxo lallyxo 16-17, F 2 Responses May 5

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    It will be four years in March.

    I miss you a lot more, lately. I think about you much more. I feel sometimes i am becoming you, as though i am a creation of yours. A child you formed before death that grew and grew alone. I had no one to share the bad days with. I had support, i had friends, i had family, but...
    theMETAmonologue theMETAmonologue 18-21, F Feb 7

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    She hummed inside her thoughts Sung the hymns

    of the ones she had lost The characters in her mind she had embossed The only way to them was her life it cost A New Year has come along The intensity of the last left scars She no longer had a sense of right and wrong She just wants to live among the golden stars Another nip...
    FallenxPerfection FallenxPerfection 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    My Closest Cousin

    On March 15,2009 my life was changed forever. At around 5:30 I received a frantic but confused call from my uncle. Just as he was asking me if i had heard from any other family members that day my cousin cindy was on the other line. I clicked over to hear her tears. My cousin and...
    MissMyCousin MissMyCousin 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 3, 2009

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    I lost a really good friend to suicide

    because he was being bullied he felt as he couldn't talk to anyone so he hung himself in his kitchen and every single day since it happened I've cried and cried and tried to figure out why he had to leave like that, he was such an amazing person. rest in peace Garyn.
    syyyydddd syyyydddd 18-21, F Apr 29

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    I Miss Jack Terribly

    He moved to my neighborhood and the neighbors couldn't wait to introduce us since we both rode motorcycles. I saw him the first time while we were both out mowing, he lived across the street from me. We hit it off immediately and shared coffee before work every day, spent most...
    Aintgotjack Aintgotjack 46-50, F 2 Responses Oct 21, 2009

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    How to keep going on.

    ..just lost someone last night. Just completely in shock
    noahjames47 noahjames47 16-17, T 1 Response May 3

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    My Dad committed suicide

    when I was 13 turning 14, March 2011, he tried twice and finished before we got to him the second time. He was a really good dad. He just battled severe depression. So did my mom. Now that he's gone, I feel like I've lost her too. He saved my mom and my step-siblings from really...
    blondemelody blondemelody 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 3

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    Joey

    His name was Joey, I met him at the beginning of my sophomore year of high school. We shared English and World History together, and I noticed him noticing me. Every time I looked at him he was looking at me. He was cute in that sloppy clothes, not-trying-too-hard skater boy look...
    autimom autimom 31-35, F 18 Responses Jan 15, 2009

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    I never understood the amount of grief

    that someone could feel when losing someone dear to suicide. It somehow feels different when losing someone to murder or accidental deaths. Maybe it's because they dead by killing themselves. That's when the pain kicks in the sooner you realise your loved one died because they...
    KINGSmark KINGSmark 13-15, F 1 Response May 1

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    She took a bottle of pills.

    .. She never even made it to the emergency room... I still cry about it sometimes...
    WatchOutItsKyle WatchOutItsKyle 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 6

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    It Gets REAL Fast.

    My first wife was determined to die and after two failed attempts succeeded while I had gone to the store to get some soda pop. Came home to her stretched out on the couch a finger sized hole in her chest, a spurt of blood above it. and my rifle which she had given me the year...
    michael1950 michael1950 61-65, M Nov 13, 2013

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    Okay Um My Ex Boyfriend Commited I Think

    his official cause of death was gun shot wound to the head, cause of death undetermined, this was after his inquest, the first ruling was suicide.  I find it so hard to believe that he commited suicide, and I am just looking for answers.  He knew I loved him...
    Ijustwanttounderstandwhy Ijustwanttounderstandwhy 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Three years ago my good friend went missing. It was the last day of junior year in high school and she was dressed up nicer than usual. When I last saw her in the hallway she said...
    kbeary kbeary 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I have lost the most important woman in my life, my mother, 5 years ago. It's still the most painful event in my life. Losing her unexpectedly, when everything seems okay after...
    BakerQueen14 BakerQueen14 22-25, F Jul 3

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    My lovely Rebekka. I used to be best friends with her. We were like sisters. She had played a very important role in my life up until that point where we started to drift apart...
    natliking natliking 18-21, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    My uncle Greg killed himself yesterday. He had been in a car accident two years ago and was in constant pain. He was the youngest of my father's brothers. I lost my dad when I was...
    random619 random619 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 3