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I Lost My Mother to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 289 People

    My mother has struggled with mental illness

    through the majority of her life. Before this year, she had attempted suicide at least 3 times. In this past year, she attempted another 6 times. I was out of town with my siblings for the first time since everything had started to get worse for her and no one had heard from her...
    Mmk910 Mmk910 22-25, F 1 Response Sep 6, 2015

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    I lost my mom to suicide in May 2014.

    She had made several attempts in the last ten years and made threats every couple of months. I always assumed they were cries for attention, so I would give her all the attention she needed at first I would drive to her house stay with her all night, visit her at the hospital...
    heatherash1204 heatherash1204 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    My mother did and I can't keep fighting to stay

    alive. Life is to hard. I'm scared but I know I will end u like her some day.
    shygirl1986 shygirl1986 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 18, 2015

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    Almost two years ago,

    i found out my mom had killed herself. She was a bit depressed, she has taking depression pills and some others to help her sleep. She had always been the best mom ever. I'm not even kidding here, every single one of my friends loved my mother as she has just this fun, relaxed...
    anonyyd anonyyd 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 27, 2015

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    I never saw it coming

    and feel guilty because I thought I knew everything about her--maybe that was the problem--I thought I knew her more than she knew herself, and so it never occurred to me to ask if she felt like hurting herself. Never once in her life did she ever say she wanted to hurt herself...
    amutedlife amutedlife 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 9, 2015

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    Dark Memory

    In 2008 my mom seemed distant from me (10) and my younger brother (5). One day in march, she got really upset and went to the bathroom and loaded the gun in front of me. She then took me and my bother to my grandpas and went back home. I told him about the gun and he rushed over...
    KeepOnDreaming1 KeepOnDreaming1 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    My name is Jessica I lost my mother to suicide

    May 17 th 2009 but wasn't found until the 19 th . It still feels like it just happened yesterday she left behind her three children 16,21,22 at the time . I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide called Julie's hope . I live in Garfield heights ohio...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F Aug 27, 2014

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    Smiling Face

    I just lost my mom on 02/16/13. I have never thought my mom will do that. She has been sick. Nothing major but could be painful. She took pain killer almost everyday and Xanax to help her sleep. She never had depression until she took Xanax. She hurts more because of it. I don't...
    smilihspirit smilihspirit 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    I lost my mother to suicide on Aug.

    30 th 2015. She has been in a dark depression for the last week or so and I was trying very hard to get her help. I came home from work on the night of the 30th and since she had been telling me how tired she was I assumed she was finally resting. I got up the next morning to...
    carebear63 carebear63 26-30, F 7 Responses Nov 4, 2015

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    I was 6 and my parents were divorced

    so i never saw/knew my mom, and I lived with my dad. She was a Japanese immigrant. She never paid child support, and when she died, I didn't receive any of her money, not that I should have but it was only until now that I realized it was an act of selfishness. I read a lot of...
    ashleym76 ashleym76 13-15, F Aug 10, 2015

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    Why?

    I lost my mother to suicide exactly one month ago today. Looking back at our lives, my family realized that her angry moments truly reflected bipolar disorder just like her own mother and brother. I knew my mother had been struggling for about a year now, but she promised me...
    usmcgirl1231 usmcgirl1231 18-21, F 6 Responses May 6, 2013

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    My Mother Broke My Heart

    My mother overdosed on ambien, (sleeping pills), after chasing them down with wine. My heart is shattered into pieces. I have a 5 month old son whose life she was so ready to be a part of. He is her first grand baby and she loved him more than words could explain. I am so lost...
    beccamarieday420 beccamarieday420 22-25 3 Responses Nov 18, 2013

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    I was 11 years old when my mom committed

    suicide. I am 18 now. I had and still have no idea what led to her doing so. The evening i last saw her we went on a walk and we was laughing and talking and what not. She said she was going over to a friends and I asked if I could go to my friends. She said yes. Later that...
    nativekid97 nativekid97 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 21, 2015

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    I am 16 years old and I lost my best friend,

    my mother to suicide. About 3 weeks ago my mom went missing. It was about four days before they found her. She had killed herself in her car. The same car we had laughed and talked in, the same car where she taught me to drive. Words cannot begin to describe the tremendous pain...
    anon0599 anon0599 16-17, F Dec 21, 2015

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    My mom killed herself August 10,

    1962. A long time ago, it was actually 5 days after Marilyn Monroe's suicide. My dad was out of town on a road construction job. My brother was 14, he found her. I was seven and also in the house at the time. She was seriously depressed an bi-polar, they called in manic...
    Etexgal Etexgal 56-60, F Mar 16, 2015

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    December 31,2013 | why mom?

    Why did you do what you did..I know it's a selfish thing to say but it's hard knowing you were hurting and I couldn't help you. I just can't seem to find my way now I feel lost without you here but I want you to know that will change mom. I love you, rest in paradise mommy...
    alextara2 alextara2 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 8, 2014

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    I just lost my mother to suicide.

    It is almost two years since my oldest sister committed suicide too. I feel very very empty and she was my best friend and guardian. I feel like I have lost my whole support system, and that I am dead inside. I'm only 22. Can someone who has been in my situation tell me that I...
    florence91 florence91 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    My Moms Died.

    My mom commited suicide yesterday at 5:00 pm. I am only 12 years old. I'm extremly depressed. I dont have a dad. But I have a grandma and a uncle. I'm just looking for a whole bunch of answers. I miss her so much. What do I do?
    MikaleH MikaleH 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    September 26, 2013

    My mother shot herself in the chest on this date. I am lost and have no idea what to do, how to feel, what to think. She had a history of attempts (5 by overdosing on pills) but I never thought I would lose her. Her latest attempt was July 19, 2013 and I pushed her away after...
    ALA444 ALA444 36-40 3 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    I lost my mum about 3 years ago.

    She was suffering from depression due to family issues and my dad and I failed to pick up on it. We are still grieving over this loss and I get frustrated at times when my dad blames me for her death. I also sometimes blame her for taking such a drastic step even though I know...
    Xssim Xssim 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 16, 2015

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    I'm 15, and a week before christmas I lost my

    mom. She's my world, and I don't even want to keep going without her. Nothing even matters anymore. She'd been dealing with a lot of things over the last year, but I thought she was getting better. I went to school on thursday and I said I loved her and I said goodbye, and...
    yellowroses99 yellowroses99 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 6, 2015

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    I'm not ready to talk about it.

    .. not yet, at least. She did it last Monday and I feel copious amounts of guilt. One day, I won't. And, one day, I'll tell my story.
    jamiesarrae jamiesarrae 26-30, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    My mother was exactly 40 years old.

    The police found her naked and lying in a puddle of vomit. She had suffered from mental illness her whole life. Right before she killed herself she was hearing voices. She would call me in the middle of the afternoon and ask me why I was screaming in the hallway cause it woke...
    ChelseaCupp25 ChelseaCupp25 26-30, F 1 Response May 12, 2015

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    My Mom Took Her Life

    My mom passed away on may 23 2013 but i dident find her untill the 29th my mom was mentally ill and i guess it got to her she alienated the whole family and took a overdose of pills i lost my mother my son lost his best friend i had no help no support through her death i found...
    abigheartedleo abigheartedleo 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2013

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    The last time I saw my mom,

    I drove over to her house, to bring her a veggie burger. She met me outside, because I was rushed and going away for a week, to Disneyland with my family. My husband, my daughter, 8, and son, 6. She was in good spirits. She laughed and acted as normal. My mom has been alone and...
    boomer97146 boomer97146 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 17, 2014

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    ((graphic suicide description warning

    for this)) I lost my mom yesterday. The morning was normal, I said hey and we told each other we loved each other before I left. Recently she had been more depressed than usual because of her spine pain, but I thought everything was normal that day. I had gotten back to school...
    KadarKun KadarKun 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 13, 2015

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    "She lived a charmed life" Words from my aunt,

    my mothers oldest sister, trying to make sense of her sisters suicide. My mother shot herself in my head on November 19th, 2013. She told my younger sister, who is 16, that she was going upstairs to take a nap, and never came back down. My sister heard the shot, came upstairs...
    simmk simmk 22-25, F 7 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    My mom just committed suicide.

    She passed away on March 7, and I found out March 13. I just want to wake up from this wretched dream. I just want to call her so badly and talk to her for hours. She was the most amazing woman in the world. I'm not handling this really well. I listened to one of her voicemails...
    alexthornton alexthornton 22-25, M 6 Responses Mar 18, 2014

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    My mother killed herself on January 29,

    2015. My father came home to find her in the tub. We don't have a toxicology report yet but he thinks she overdosed on sleeping pills. She was depressed and bi-polar. Unfortunately I didn't know the extent of how bad it really was. I wish I'd known. Six weeks later my...
    interrobrodie interrobrodie 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2015

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    My mom was the only one I could talk to.

    . The only one who understood. I wrote this poem, it's not very good at all but here it is... A little over a year ago, I lost a best friend She was the only one who understood She loved me unconditionally She was the bravest person I knew She was so funny She was so nice She...
    UnusualArtist UnusualArtist 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2014

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    To anyone who has ever lost a parent to suicide.

    You need to know something, You are one of the most beautiful people in the word! Even If you have to look in the mirror every morning and say it to yourself until you know that it is true. You are okay. You may not feel okay, but you are. I know this because my mom committed...
    thriving thriving 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2014

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    The Other Heart

    If it is ok, as I do not want to hurt anyone with my story. I only hope to shed light on the other side of this deeply sad coin. What I am about to write comes from the most humble, true place in my heart. I have walked the razor sharp edge of the abyss of suicide. In all the...
    MegentaMoon MegentaMoon 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    13 years ago today I was 5

    and I lost something I never had. It's a weird feeling to have a hole from something you never remember to begin with. She jumped out of a hotel window and recently I have been picturing myself yelling at her from the bottom of the hotel and telling her to go back in and that we...
    idontknowidontknow idontknowidontknow 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 21, 2014

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    When I Was 17, My Mother Shot Herself In The Head

    One month before her 41st birthday, my mother went into the woods near Great Falls, Maryland to shot herself in the head with a handgun she had purchased in Washington, D.C. Three months later, her skull was found by a hunter and his son. Our family dentist identified the skull...
    Karental Karental 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 4, 2011

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    A month ago now I lost my mom to suicide.

    Most days I still don't fully believe it happened but some days I do. Those are the days that I fall apart, the days where nothing makes sense, there is no purpose and I am not sure how I am supposed to survive this world without her. She is my mom and she always protected me...
    julijules1316 julijules1316 22-25, F 1 Response May 26, 2015

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    This happened 3 days ago.

    .. My mother and I are pretty close, the closest of any of the others in our family. My mom is divorced now and lives alone. She is 40 years old and is permanently disabled and unable to lift anything over 25 pounds. She collects disability from the state. She was a nurse at a...
    TheStrain TheStrain 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2014

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    i wasn't one to cry when i found out my mother

    killed herself. at the age of ten i woke up to find my family a mess, with the news fresh on their minds. my mother had just jumped in front of a train. before that i have never fully understood how sick my mother had been. i had never question why she sleep for hours in the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 5, 2014

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    I lost my mum to suicide in May 2012.

    She was my world. I still pretend she's just in holiday or something. I'll never except it. If i did I would never be able to cope
    jaimeleigh98 jaimeleigh98 16-17, F 3 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    Lost My Mom When I Was 14.

    I was 14 when my mother took her life. She had tried a few times before. That was in 2006 and she was 43. She had been struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD for a few years and in her last years she had stopped working and we barely got by on welfare. I have two sisters...
    fridgursol fridgursol 22-25, F Aug 25, 2013

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    The Why Of It All

    My mother was a major depressive, schizophrenic alcoholic... so she was basically doomed from the start. Despite all that, she still managed to survive 37 years on this earth before she put her life to an end. I have good reason to believe she would have killed herself sooner...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2013

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    I'm that mother. And all that's keeping me from

    opening and downing every pill bottle in the house is the thought of my children having to live saying these words - "I lost my mother to suicide". I don't want them to be part of any statistics that make them more likely to commit suicide themselves. But I also fail to see how...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    My Story

    I was 20 years old when I lost my mother to suicide. I remember the days leading up to it, and how strange they felt. Someone I knew had lost their mother to cancer on the same day that my mom killed herself, but I didn’t find out until 2 days later. The night that it happened...
    carwalte carwalte 22-25 2 Responses May 4, 2013

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    In January 2012, i lost my mother to suicide.

    She had been battling depression and an overwhelming feeling of not being to societies standards for a few months before she died. I only found out last year that she committed suicide and i have only told my school counsellor and psychiatrist about it. I have been dealing with...
    anjeob anjeob 13-15, F Nov 19, 2015

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    My mom attempted suicide

    after my parents got a divorce about a year ago. She is still depressed and lonely.
    shortwolf94 shortwolf94 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    May 5th on a Tuesday I lost my mom.

    She had been struggling with pain for a very long time and wasn't able to do much. When I got off work I went to my mom house and I notice how quiet it was and walking to her bedroom her door was shut as I open it and walked toward the bathroom that's where I seen her lying...
    kelsal47 kelsal47 46-50, F 1 Response May 13, 2015

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