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I Lost My Mother to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 207 People

    My mom just committed suicide.

    She passed away on March 7, and I found out March 13. I just want to wake up from this wretched dream. I just want to call her so badly and talk to her for hours. She was the most amazing woman in the world. I'm not handling this really well. I listened to one of her voicemails...
    alexthornton alexthornton 18-21, M 5 Responses Mar 18

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    You Feel Like The Only One...

    I never really knew how many people have went through losing their mother from suicide until now...because in that moment you feel so alone. I am 23 and It has been almost a year since my mom killed herself. Tomorrow my family and myself will be going in our first mental health...
    KelYor KelYor 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    My Mom Took Her Life

    My mom passed away on may 23 2013 but i dident find her untill the 29th my mom was mentally ill and i guess it got to her she alienated the whole family and took a overdose of pills i lost my mother my son lost his best friend i had no help no support through her death i found...
    abigheartedleo abigheartedleo 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2013

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    Vivid Memories..,

    December 2007; I remember the day ever so well. I was still in middle school and was attending a pantomine on the lead up to Christmas. The night before, I remember my Mom taking me shopping to get a new outfit, I was so excited. That night, she was going to stay with her...
    WayUpHigh WayUpHigh 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2013

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    Mom

    My mother hung herself when I was five. I found her. It's not fair that it's my only memory of her.
    Lynnkaz Lynnkaz 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 2, 2013

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    I Miss Her.

    In 7 hours and 50 minutes it will be fourteen days since I lost my beautiful momma. She was 52. Her spouse of 25 years said she had been pretending for years. She wanted out. Mom didn't take it well. She made it 4 days and took a handgun to her head on the morning of the fifth...
    danibooks danibooks 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    Two weeks after I graduated from high school my

    world came crashing down. I spent the night at my friends house so we could go see the late night showing of Eclipse of all movies, but I headed home really early because my mom and I were supposed to be spending the day at the beach. See both of my brothers had graduated, and...
    stilldealing stilldealing 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 20

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    She Was My World.

    On the 23rd of May, 2006 my mother committed suicide. I was 19. I loved her so much and wanted so badly to be close to her. She raised me alone. We were close but distant at the same time. She had had nightmares for as long as I could remember. She sent me a text one morning...
    Wlwdimlp Wlwdimlp 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 1, 2013

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    The Other Heart

    If it is ok, as I do not want to hurt anyone with my story. I only hope to shed light on the other side of this deeply sad coin. What I am about to write comes from the most humble, true place in my heart. I have walked the razor sharp edge of the abyss of suicide. In all the...
    MegentaMoon MegentaMoon 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    October 20th 2009

    It seemed just like any other day. I woke up, got ready for school but little did I know that at the end of the day, my mom wasn't going to be coming home. It was breast cancer awareness day at my school, so everyone wore pink. I heard an announcement come over the intercom...
    ekbjordan ekbjordan 18-21, F Nov 18, 2013

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    Lost My Mom When I Was 14.

    I was 14 when my mother took her life. She had tried a few times before. That was in 2006 and she was 43. She had been struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD for a few years and in her last years she had stopped working and we barely got by on welfare. I have two sisters...
    fridgursol fridgursol 22-25, F Aug 25, 2013

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    Recent Loss

    I'm 40, my mother shot herself by putting a gun in her mouth 3 weeks ago. Her and my dad had gotten a divorce 8 months ago, they were on and off again since. Things between them were awful I knew she was going through a lot but not suicidal. I'm not getting better when everyone...
    Workingirltoo Workingirltoo 41-45, F 5 Responses Apr 13, 2013

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    The last time I saw my mom,

    I drove over to her house, to bring her a veggie burger. She met me outside, because I was rushed and going away for a week, to Disneyland with my family. My husband, my daughter, 8, and son, 6. She was in good spirits. She laughed and acted as normal. My mom has been alone and...
    boomer97146 boomer97146 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 17

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    On November 2nd 2012 it happened.

    Alot of things were going wrong in the lives of the people she loved most. She wasn't thrilled with her own either. She was the most gifted hairstylist you would ever meet. Even though she was depressed she still worked every day. And when she was home she layed in bed. I was...
    Brett83 Brett83 26-30 1 Response Apr 8

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    My Mum

    I recently lost my mother to suicide on the 5th of March 2013 Ive been in disbelief and shock since only crying briefly and then not really knowing what to think until mothers day last sunday when i heard all the mothers day ads on the radio when i was driving to the shops seeing...
    prosperousme prosperousme 26-30 7 Responses May 18, 2013

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    Coming Up On The 1 Year Mark Of My Mom Being Gone And Its Getting Harder...

    I will explain what happened to my mom in another post some time ...it is too long and complicated and will take me awhile to explain what happened, and I am dealing with my one year old daughter right now...but my question is does everyone in a family start to get odd or...
    skipper02 skipper02 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 21, 2013

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    Smiling Face

    I just lost my mom on 02/16/13. I have never thought my mom will do that. She has been sick. Nothing major but could be painful. She took pain killer almost everyday and Xanax to help her sleep. She never had depression until she took Xanax. She hurts more because of it. I don't...
    smilihspirit smilihspirit 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    My Story

    I was 20 years old when I lost my mother to suicide. I remember the days leading up to it, and how strange they felt. Someone I knew had lost their mother to cancer on the same day that my mom killed herself, but I didn’t find out until 2 days later. The night that it happened...
    carwalte carwalte 22-25 2 Responses May 4, 2013

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    2 days ago my mother committed suicide.

    She left nothing behind. Not a note, not a goodbye. I've been crying uncontrollably ever since. I have a history with drugs and have turned to whiskey and klonopin to help me get by. I know it's not the healthiest way, but it's all I've ever known. If anyone can recommend...
    MitchRappaport MitchRappaport 22-25, M 5 Responses Jun 13

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    "she Aches Just Like A Woman, But She Breaks Just Like A Little Girl"

    My mother was a complicated person. She was the most beautiful person for many people, and gave much more than she received. She always had depression since abuse as a child, but had brought herself to raise three children using faith, exercise, good food etc. I often felt that...
    misternnu misternnu 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 7, 2013

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    i wasn't one to cry when i found out my mother

    killed herself. at the age of ten i woke up to find my family a mess, with the news fresh on their minds. my mother had just jumped in front of a train. before that i have never fully understood how sick my mother had been. i had never question why she sleep for hours in the...
    Rachycat101 Rachycat101 18-21, F 3 Responses May 5

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    Traci

    Everyday I think about the times we could have shared, I think of the things you could have taught me, how much love I missed from you, how much love you missed from me....I wish I was able to help you, I was only two when you decided to end your life...I know you had...
    MESB MESB 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 30, 2013

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    Dark Memory

    In 2008 my mom seemed distant from me (10) and my younger brother (5). One day in march, she got really upset and went to the bathroom and loaded the gun in front of me. She then took me and my bother to my grandpas and went back home. I told him about the gun and he rushed over...
    KeepOnDreaming1 KeepOnDreaming1 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    Mom

    My brother, Andrew, and I lost our mom, Joanie, to suicide in July of 2011.  My mom was only 57 years old. She had battled with alcoholism and depression for many years.  I know that she was suicidal for a long time and many times she only held on for my brother and I.   In...
    J4momsquad J4momsquad 22-25 5 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    My Moms Died.

    My mom commited suicide yesterday at 5:00 pm. I am only 12 years old. I'm extremly depressed. I dont have a dad. But I have a grandma and a uncle. I'm just looking for a whole bunch of answers. I miss her so much. What do I do?
    MikaleH MikaleH 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    My Mommy Is Gone

    My mommy jumped off a 20 story building this month. i have lost her and my mind. I love my mommy. It has been a few weeks but for me it is like ground hogs day. I was not allowed to kisss or touch her face that God saved for me. I have to see a doctor before i can go to work and...
    scrapsbear scrapsbear 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    She committed suicide on March 3rd

    and my wife and I found her on March 4th. I'm lost and don't know what to do.....This is just so unreal......
    ToliverLyons ToliverLyons 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 7

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    I Survived - Still Fighting.

    Chemical depression "runs" in my family's genetics. My mother has it, as did my cousin and as do I. When I was 13, I noticed some changed occuring with my mother. She was lacking her luster and was no longer the mother that I grew to know and love. She was sad all of the time and...
    TheVantriloquist TheVantriloquist 16-17 Jun 30, 2013

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    "She lived a charmed life" Words from my aunt,

    my mothers oldest sister, trying to make sense of her sisters suicide. My mother shot herself in my head on November 19th, 2013. She told my younger sister, who is 16, that she was going upstairs to take a nap, and never came back down. My sister heard the shot, came upstairs...
    simmk simmk 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    My mum didn't die but was in hospital

    after attempt suicide. She was found in a ditch and with a few details actually tried to end her life in a multiple of ways: She was found in her car covered in petrol. She was unconscious from the overdose before she could set everything alight. This happened around four...
    greaves98 greaves98 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    September 26, 2013

    My mother shot herself in the chest on this date. I am lost and have no idea what to do, how to feel, what to think. She had a history of attempts (5 by overdosing on pills) but I never thought I would lose her. Her latest attempt was July 19, 2013 and I pushed her away after...
    ALA444 ALA444 36-40 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    The Day I Stopped Believing

    It happened just this year... I'd just moved out of my mother's house a year ago, right after High School. She was having financial problems but was all around an optimistic person. My Mom was never very good at being a mother, but the years we did get to spend together while I...
    AverageSpazz AverageSpazz 18-21 3 Responses Sep 4, 2013

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    15 days ago I found my mom dead in her closet.

    One single gunshot to the head...It's kinda crazy how someone can be here one second and then not the next...I remember it all so vividly. I was just falling asleep when I heard a gun go off followed by my dad screaming. I knew instantly. Her lifeless body just laid there...
    isiszh isiszh 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    My mom hung herself on october 17,

    2003. I was 17 and we had the biggest arguement ever the night before. My last words to my mom were i hate you, get out of my life! Im 27 yrs old now and i still cry almost daily. The pain is still there just like it was yesterday. I was told it would get easier with time but...
    calmdownmom86 calmdownmom86 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 29

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    This happened 3 days ago.

    .. My mother and I are pretty close, the closest of any of the others in our family. My mom is divorced now and lives alone. She is 40 years old and is permanently disabled and unable to lift anything over 25 pounds. She collects disability from the state. She was a nurse at a...
    TheStrain TheStrain 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 12

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    My mom was the only one I could talk to.

    . The only one who understood. I wrote this poem, it's not very good at all but here it is... A little over a year ago, I lost a best friend She was the only one who understood She loved me unconditionally She was the bravest person I knew She was so funny She was so nice She...
    123me321 123me321 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    When I Was 17, My Mother Shot Herself In The Head

    One month before her 41st birthday, my mother went into the woods near Great Falls, Maryland to shot herself in the head with a handgun she had purchased in Washington, D.C. Three months later, her skull was found by a hunter and his son. Our family dentist identified the skull...
    Karental Karental 51-55, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2011

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    Still Lost

    I'm 27 and I lost my mom when I was 15.. exactly 13 years ago today. I was a freshman in high school. She shot herself in the stomach... Was found by someone and taken to the hospital but died on the operating table. We didn't have a relationship at all at the time of her death...
    HeatherAshley28 HeatherAshley28 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    The Why Of It All

    My mother was a major depressive, schizophrenic alcoholic... so she was basically doomed from the start. Despite all that, she still managed to survive 37 years on this earth before she put her life to an end. I have good reason to believe she would have killed herself sooner...
    Lullacus Lullacus 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2013

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    My Mother Broke My Heart

    My mother overdosed on ambien, (sleeping pills), after chasing them down with wine. My heart is shattered into pieces. I have a 5 month old son whose life she was so ready to be a part of. He is her first grand baby and she loved him more than words could explain. I am so lost...
    beccamarieday420 beccamarieday420 18-21 1 Response Nov 18, 2013

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    To anyone who has ever lost a parent to suicide.

    You need to know something, You are one of the most beautiful people in the word! Even If you have to look in the mirror every morning and say it to yourself until you know that it is true. You are okay. You may not feel okay, but you are. I know this because my mom committed...
    thriving thriving 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    A Mom'S Hug Lasts Long After She Lets Go.

    It all started few months ago when my older brother got into a car accident. I never had good relationship with him but my mother loved him like every mother loves their children. It was bad accident and he passed away after few days coma.. It was really hard time for my mother...
    Chester92 Chester92 18-21, M Sep 9, 2013

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    We Needed You Mommy!Why Did You Let That Man

    Get The Best Of You?-October 21,1999. Stuttgart,Germany. One month before her 30th birthday.I was five years old. My brother was almost 7. Someone from her post(she was a US Citizen who worked at the nearby Army base) called to tell our caregiver she was dead of an apparent...
    IllusionWithGrayEyes IllusionWithGrayEyes 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    Why?

    I lost my mother to suicide exactly one month ago today. Looking back at our lives, my family realized that her angry moments truly reflected bipolar disorder just like her own mother and brother. I knew my mother had been struggling for about a year now, but she promised me...
    usmcgirl1231 usmcgirl1231 18-21, F 4 Responses May 6, 2013

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    One Month Ago Today

    It's been exactly a month since my mom committed suicide. I'm 28 years old. She didn't have any mental health issues. no substance abuse. My stepfather died June 22,2013 of a heart attack. It was very unexpected. He was only 54, healthy, active, went to the dr. no heart...
    lisaedge1 lisaedge1 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 31, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    September 2010: Sometime this month, without knowledge, I conceived my second child. I was living in Dodge City, KS with my ex fiancé and his son. We were constantly fighting and...
    Krissysheart Krissysheart 22-25, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    As a kid my parents were never the affectionate type, never said 'I love you', never hugged or kissed each other let alone us kids. I wouldn't say I had a bad childhood as we had a...
    megannicole1996 megannicole1996 16-17, F 2 Responses 1 hr ago

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    I lost my uncle(my father's brother) about 3 years ago. He was a fun and up beat kind of guy. A hard worker and motorcycle rider in spare time. He used to hold me and tell my...
    Ter4Doll Ter4Doll 22-25, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    I lost my parents four years ago last June. My father was murdered, and my mother committed suicide after we heard he'd died. That was awful. I was only 15 at the time, and I was...
    ILovetheOcean20 ILovetheOcean20 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    June 2002 - my cousin, who I grew up with and was close to, was suddenly shot one time in the chest at 4 AM... He was 26 and it was labeled suicide... He had spoke to his aunt that...
    DarkwingGoslyn DarkwingGoslyn 31-35 1 Response Jul 14

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    I don't quite know where to begin. I am feeling that there is absolutely no point in being so close to anybody anymore. It just hurts too much when they are gone. I have lost...
    SteelPearl SteelPearl 46-50, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Starting at the 7th grade and lasting until the late 9th grade yearly 10th grade I suffered with depression and several suicide attempts. I thought I was alone..because you know...
    MacKenzie31113 MacKenzie31113 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 14

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