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I Lost My Mother to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 254 People

    My mother jumped off a building

    when I was 16. She was 42. I've never had a normal childhood because she was mentally unstable and abusive and nobody tried to stop the abuse. I was the loneliest girl in the world and nobody thought I needed help. I was always left alone, alone with my mother's illness and...
    bluesky87 bluesky87 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 28

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    My Moms Died.

    My mom commited suicide yesterday at 5:00 pm. I am only 12 years old. I'm extremly depressed. I dont have a dad. But I have a grandma and a uncle. I'm just looking for a whole bunch of answers. I miss her so much. What do I do?
    MikaleH MikaleH 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    Smiling Face

    I just lost my mom on 02/16/13. I have never thought my mom will do that. She has been sick. Nothing major but could be painful. She took pain killer almost everyday and Xanax to help her sleep. She never had depression until she took Xanax. She hurts more because of it. I don't...
    smilihspirit smilihspirit 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    i wasn't one to cry when i found out my mother

    killed herself. at the age of ten i woke up to find my family a mess, with the news fresh on their minds. my mother had just jumped in front of a train. before that i have never fully understood how sick my mother had been. i had never question why she sleep for hours in the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 5, 2014

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    You Feel Like The Only One...

    I never really knew how many people have went through losing their mother from suicide until now...because in that moment you feel so alone. I am 23 and It has been almost a year since my mom killed herself. Tomorrow my family and myself will be going in our first mental health...
    KelYor KelYor 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    My mother was exactly 40 years old.

    The police found her naked and lying in a puddle of vomit. She had suffered from mental illness her whole life. Right before she killed herself she was hearing voices. She would call me in the middle of the afternoon and ask me why I was screaming in the hallway cause it woke...
    ChelseaCupp25 ChelseaCupp25 26-30, F 1 Response May 12

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    Sometimes, we need to be hurt in order to grow.

    We must lose in order to gain. Some lessons are learned best through pain.
    alextara2 alextara2 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 10, 2014

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    The last time I saw my mom,

    I drove over to her house, to bring her a veggie burger. She met me outside, because I was rushed and going away for a week, to Disneyland with my family. My husband, my daughter, 8, and son, 6. She was in good spirits. She laughed and acted as normal. My mom has been alone and...
    boomer97146 boomer97146 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 17, 2014

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    It was a little over two months ago.

    And I blame myself... I hurt her in so many different ways. I will never forgive myself.
    amberlysue amberlysue 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 10, 2014

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    My mom killed herself August 10,

    1962. A long time ago, it was actually 5 days after Marilyn Monroe's suicide. My dad was out of town on a road construction job. My brother was 14, he found her. I was seven and also in the house at the time. She was seriously depressed an bi-polar, they called in manic...
    Etexgal Etexgal 56-60, F Mar 16

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    My mum didn't die but was in hospital

    after attempt suicide. She was found in a ditch and with a few details actually tried to end her life in a multiple of ways: She was found in her car covered in petrol. She was unconscious from the overdose before she could set everything alight. This happened around four...
    greaves98 greaves98 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26, 2014

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    Going Through The Motions

    I lost my brother to suicide 8 years ago and my mother to suicide last year! My mother had agoraphobia and anxiety but managed to overcome it for a long time and was able to work. My brother was diagnosed with mental illness in his early twenties an battled with it for almost 9...
    FourHearts FourHearts 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    I'm not ready to talk about it.

    .. not yet, at least. She did it last Monday and I feel copious amounts of guilt. One day, I won't. And, one day, I'll tell my story.
    jamiesarrae jamiesarrae 22-25, F 4 Responses Oct 7, 2014

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    My Story

    I was 20 years old when I lost my mother to suicide. I remember the days leading up to it, and how strange they felt. Someone I knew had lost their mother to cancer on the same day that my mom killed herself, but I didn’t find out until 2 days later. The night that it happened...
    carwalte carwalte 22-25 2 Responses May 4, 2013

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    When I Was 17, My Mother Shot Herself In The Head

    One month before her 41st birthday, my mother went into the woods near Great Falls, Maryland to shot herself in the head with a handgun she had purchased in Washington, D.C. Three months later, her skull was found by a hunter and his son. Our family dentist identified the skull...
    Karental Karental 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 4, 2011

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    Why?

    I lost my mother to suicide exactly one month ago today. Looking back at our lives, my family realized that her angry moments truly reflected bipolar disorder just like her own mother and brother. I knew my mother had been struggling for about a year now, but she promised me...
    usmcgirl1231 usmcgirl1231 18-21, F 6 Responses May 6, 2013

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    My name is Jessica I lost my mother to suicide

    May 17 th 2009 but wasn't found until the 19 th . It still feels like it just happened yesterday she left behind her three children 16,21,22 at the time . I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide called Julie's hope . I live in Garfield heights ohio...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F Aug 27, 2014

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    I Miss Her.

    In 7 hours and 50 minutes it will be fourteen days since I lost my beautiful momma. She was 52. Her spouse of 25 years said she had been pretending for years. She wanted out. Mom didn't take it well. She made it 4 days and took a handgun to her head on the morning of the fifth...
    danibooks danibooks 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    My mom attempted suicide

    after my parents got a divorce about a year ago. She is still depressed and lonely.
    shortwolf94 shortwolf94 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 27, 2014

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    She committed suicide on March 3rd

    and my wife and I found her on March 4th. I'm lost and don't know what to do.....This is just so unreal......
    ToliverLyons ToliverLyons 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 7, 2014

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    To anyone who has ever lost a parent to suicide.

    You need to know something, You are one of the most beautiful people in the word! Even If you have to look in the mirror every morning and say it to yourself until you know that it is true. You are okay. You may not feel okay, but you are. I know this because my mom committed...
    thriving thriving 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 20, 2014

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    May 5th on a Tuesday I lost my mom.

    She had been struggling with pain for a very long time and wasn't able to do much. When I got off work I went to my mom house and I notice how quiet it was and walking to her bedroom her door was shut as I open it and walked toward the bathroom that's where I seen her lying...
    kelsal47 kelsal47 46-50, F 2 Responses May 13

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    Lost My Mom When I Was 14.

    I was 14 when my mother took her life. She had tried a few times before. That was in 2006 and she was 43. She had been struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD for a few years and in her last years she had stopped working and we barely got by on welfare. I have two sisters...
    fridgursol fridgursol 22-25, F Aug 25, 2013

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    Dark Memory

    In 2008 my mom seemed distant from me (10) and my younger brother (5). One day in march, she got really upset and went to the bathroom and loaded the gun in front of me. She then took me and my bother to my grandpas and went back home. I told him about the gun and he rushed over...
    KeepOnDreaming1 KeepOnDreaming1 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    My Mom Took Her Life

    My mom passed away on may 23 2013 but i dident find her untill the 29th my mom was mentally ill and i guess it got to her she alienated the whole family and took a overdose of pills i lost my mother my son lost his best friend i had no help no support through her death i found...
    abigheartedleo abigheartedleo 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    A month ago now I lost my mom to suicide.

    Most days I still don't fully believe it happened but some days I do. Those are the days that I fall apart, the days where nothing makes sense, there is no purpose and I am not sure how I am supposed to survive this world without her. She is my mom and she always protected me...
    julijules1316 julijules1316 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I'm 15, and a week before christmas I lost my

    mom. She's my world, and I don't even want to keep going without her. Nothing even matters anymore. She'd been dealing with a lot of things over the last year, but I thought she was getting better. I went to school on thursday and I said I loved her and I said goodbye, and...
    yellowroses99 yellowroses99 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 6

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    ((graphic suicide description warning

    for this)) I lost my mom yesterday. The morning was normal, I said hey and we told each other we loved each other before I left. Recently she had been more depressed than usual because of her spine pain, but I thought everything was normal that day. I had gotten back to school...
    KadarKun KadarKun 16-17, F 5 Responses Jan 13

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    On November 2nd 2012 it happened.

    Alot of things were going wrong in the lives of the people she loved most. She wasn't thrilled with her own either. She was the most gifted hairstylist you would ever meet. Even though she was depressed she still worked every day. And when she was home she layed in bed. I was...
    Brett83 Brett83 31-35 1 Response Apr 8, 2014

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    The Other Heart

    If it is ok, as I do not want to hurt anyone with my story. I only hope to shed light on the other side of this deeply sad coin. What I am about to write comes from the most humble, true place in my heart. I have walked the razor sharp edge of the abyss of suicide. In all the...
    MegentaMoon MegentaMoon 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    My Mother Broke My Heart

    My mother overdosed on ambien, (sleeping pills), after chasing them down with wine. My heart is shattered into pieces. I have a 5 month old son whose life she was so ready to be a part of. He is her first grand baby and she loved him more than words could explain. I am so lost...
    beccamarieday420 beccamarieday420 18-21 3 Responses Nov 18, 2013

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    We Needed You Mommy!Why Did You Let That Man

    Get The Best Of You?-October 21,1999. Stuttgart,Germany. One month before her 30th birthday.I was five years old. My brother was almost 7. Someone from her post(she was a US Citizen who worked at the nearby Army base) called to tell our caregiver she was dead of an apparent...
    IllusionWithGrayEyes IllusionWithGrayEyes 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29, 2014

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    December 31,2013 | why mom?

    Why did you do what you did..I know it's a selfish thing to say but it's hard knowing you were hurting and I couldn't help you. I just can't seem to find my way now I feel lost without you here but I want you to know that will change mom. I love you, rest in paradise mommy...
    alextara2 alextara2 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 8, 2014

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    15 days ago I found my mom dead in her closet.

    One single gunshot to the head...It's kinda crazy how someone can be here one second and then not the next...I remember it all so vividly. I was just falling asleep when I heard a gun go off followed by my dad screaming. I knew instantly. Her lifeless body just laid there...
    isiszh isiszh 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 21, 2014

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    The Why Of It All

    My mother was a major depressive, schizophrenic alcoholic... so she was basically doomed from the start. Despite all that, she still managed to survive 37 years on this earth before she put her life to an end. I have good reason to believe she would have killed herself sooner...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2013

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    September 26, 2013

    My mother shot herself in the chest on this date. I am lost and have no idea what to do, how to feel, what to think. She had a history of attempts (5 by overdosing on pills) but I never thought I would lose her. Her latest attempt was July 19, 2013 and I pushed her away after...
    ALA444 ALA444 36-40 3 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    2 days ago my mother committed suicide.

    She left nothing behind. Not a note, not a goodbye. I've been crying uncontrollably ever since. I have a history with drugs and have turned to whiskey and klonopin to help me get by. I know it's not the healthiest way, but it's all I've ever known. If anyone can recommend...
    MitchRappaport MitchRappaport 22-25, M 6 Responses Jun 13, 2014

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    I just lost my mother to suicide.

    It is almost two years since my oldest sister committed suicide too. I feel very very empty and she was my best friend and guardian. I feel like I have lost my whole support system, and that I am dead inside. I'm only 22. Can someone who has been in my situation tell me that I...
    florence91 florence91 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 6, 2014

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    My mom just committed suicide.

    She passed away on March 7, and I found out March 13. I just want to wake up from this wretched dream. I just want to call her so badly and talk to her for hours. She was the most amazing woman in the world. I'm not handling this really well. I listened to one of her voicemails...
    alexthornton alexthornton 18-21, M 6 Responses Mar 18, 2014

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    My mom was the only one I could talk to.

    . The only one who understood. I wrote this poem, it's not very good at all but here it is... A little over a year ago, I lost a best friend She was the only one who understood She loved me unconditionally She was the bravest person I knew She was so funny She was so nice She...
    UnusualArtist UnusualArtist 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 1, 2014

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    I was one year old when my mother ended her

    life. It was two days after New Years, 1998. She had depression her whole life. She chose to hang herself while it was just me and her in our tiny apartment. My parents were 21. My dad had been cheating on her and was out of town for New Years when she did it. I was there alone...
    maddiejuliet maddiejuliet 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 4, 2014

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    I'm that mother. And all that's keeping me from

    opening and downing every pill bottle in the house is the thought of my children having to live saying these words - "I lost my mother to suicide". I don't want them to be part of any statistics that make them more likely to commit suicide themselves. But I also fail to see how...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 41-45, F 5 Responses Oct 16, 2014

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    I lost my mom to suicide in May 2014.

    She had made several attempts in the last ten years and made threats every couple of months. I always assumed they were cries for attention, so I would give her all the attention she needed at first I would drive to her house stay with her all night, visit her at the hospital...
    heatherash1204 heatherash1204 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 21, 2014

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    I lost my mum to suicide in May 2012.

    She was my world. I still pretend she's just in holiday or something. I'll never except it. If i did I would never be able to cope
    jaimeleigh98 jaimeleigh98 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 1, 2014

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    This happened 3 days ago.

    .. My mother and I are pretty close, the closest of any of the others in our family. My mom is divorced now and lives alone. She is 40 years old and is permanently disabled and unable to lift anything over 25 pounds. She collects disability from the state. She was a nurse at a...
    TheStrain TheStrain 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2014

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    My Mother My Angel

    Well I guess my story is a little different. I am 22 years old, and when i was just 4 days old my mum was taken from me. My mother was just 23 and had been battling schizophrenia. Her and my father were inseparable, married for a short 6months before i was born. When she gave...
    Lovingyoualwaysmyangel Lovingyoualwaysmyangel 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 18, 2013

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