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I Lost My Mother to Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 212 People

    Dark Memory

    In 2008 my mom seemed distant from me (10) and my younger brother (5). One day in march, she got really upset and went to the bathroom and loaded the gun in front of me. She then took me and my bother to my grandpas and went back home. I told him about the gun and he rushed over...
    KeepOnDreaming1 KeepOnDreaming1 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

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    When I Was 17, My Mother Shot Herself In The Head

    One month before her 41st birthday, my mother went into the woods near Great Falls, Maryland to shot herself in the head with a handgun she had purchased in Washington, D.C. Three months later, her skull was found by a hunter and his son. Our family dentist identified the skull...
    Karental Karental 51-55, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2011

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    You Feel Like The Only One...

    I never really knew how many people have went through losing their mother from suicide until now...because in that moment you feel so alone. I am 23 and It has been almost a year since my mom killed herself. Tomorrow my family and myself will be going in our first mental health...
    KelYor KelYor 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 27, 2013

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    The Why Of It All

    My mother was a major depressive, schizophrenic alcoholic... so she was basically doomed from the start. Despite all that, she still managed to survive 37 years on this earth before she put her life to an end. I have good reason to believe she would have killed herself sooner...
    Lullacus Lullacus 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 26, 2013

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    My name is Jessica I lost my mother to suicide

    May 17 th 2009 but wasn't found until the 19 th . It still feels like it just happened yesterday she left behind her three children 16,21,22 at the time . I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide called Julie's hope . I live in Garfield heights ohio...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    On November 2nd 2012 it happened.

    Alot of things were going wrong in the lives of the people she loved most. She wasn't thrilled with her own either. She was the most gifted hairstylist you would ever meet. Even though she was depressed she still worked every day. And when she was home she layed in bed. I was...
    Brett83 Brett83 31-35 1 Response Apr 8

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    I just lost my mother to suicide.

    It is almost two years since my oldest sister committed suicide too. I feel very very empty and she was my best friend and guardian. I feel like I have lost my whole support system, and that I am dead inside. I'm only 22. Can someone who has been in my situation tell me that I...
    florence91 florence91 22-25, F 5 Responses Aug 6

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    Lost My Mom When I Was 14.

    I was 14 when my mother took her life. She had tried a few times before. That was in 2006 and she was 43. She had been struggling with depression, anxiety and BPD for a few years and in her last years she had stopped working and we barely got by on welfare. I have two sisters...
    fridgursol fridgursol 22-25, F Aug 25, 2013

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    My Mommy Is Gone

    My mommy jumped off a 20 story building this month. i have lost her and my mind. I love my mommy. It has been a few weeks but for me it is like ground hogs day. I was not allowed to kisss or touch her face that God saved for me. I have to see a doctor before i can go to work and...
    scrapsbear scrapsbear 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 25, 2012

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    My Story

    I was 20 years old when I lost my mother to suicide. I remember the days leading up to it, and how strange they felt. Someone I knew had lost their mother to cancer on the same day that my mom killed herself, but I didn’t find out until 2 days later. The night that it happened...
    carwalte carwalte 22-25 2 Responses May 4, 2013

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    15 days ago I found my mom dead in her closet.

    One single gunshot to the head...It's kinda crazy how someone can be here one second and then not the next...I remember it all so vividly. I was just falling asleep when I heard a gun go off followed by my dad screaming. I knew instantly. Her lifeless body just laid there...
    isiszh isiszh 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    This happened 3 days ago.

    .. My mother and I are pretty close, the closest of any of the others in our family. My mom is divorced now and lives alone. She is 40 years old and is permanently disabled and unable to lift anything over 25 pounds. She collects disability from the state. She was a nurse at a...
    TheStrain TheStrain 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 12

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    Two weeks after I graduated from high school my

    world came crashing down. I spent the night at my friends house so we could go see the late night showing of Eclipse of all movies, but I headed home really early because my mom and I were supposed to be spending the day at the beach. See both of my brothers had graduated, and...
    stilldealing stilldealing 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 20

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    Smiling Face

    I just lost my mom on 02/16/13. I have never thought my mom will do that. She has been sick. Nothing major but could be painful. She took pain killer almost everyday and Xanax to help her sleep. She never had depression until she took Xanax. She hurts more because of it. I don't...
    smilihspirit smilihspirit 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 27, 2013

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    My mom was the only one I could talk to.

    . The only one who understood. I wrote this poem, it's not very good at all but here it is... A little over a year ago, I lost a best friend She was the only one who understood She loved me unconditionally She was the bravest person I knew She was so funny She was so nice She...
    123me321 123me321 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 1

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    I Miss Her.

    In 7 hours and 50 minutes it will be fourteen days since I lost my beautiful momma. She was 52. Her spouse of 25 years said she had been pretending for years. She wanted out. Mom didn't take it well. She made it 4 days and took a handgun to her head on the morning of the fifth...
    danibooks danibooks 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    2 days ago my mother committed suicide.

    She left nothing behind. Not a note, not a goodbye. I've been crying uncontrollably ever since. I have a history with drugs and have turned to whiskey and klonopin to help me get by. I know it's not the healthiest way, but it's all I've ever known. If anyone can recommend...
    MitchRappaport MitchRappaport 22-25, M 6 Responses Jun 13

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    To anyone who has ever lost a parent to suicide.

    You need to know something, You are one of the most beautiful people in the word! Even If you have to look in the mirror every morning and say it to yourself until you know that it is true. You are okay. You may not feel okay, but you are. I know this because my mom committed...
    thriving thriving 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 20

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    My Mum

    I recently lost my mother to suicide on the 5th of March 2013 Ive been in disbelief and shock since only crying briefly and then not really knowing what to think until mothers day last sunday when i heard all the mothers day ads on the radio when i was driving to the shops seeing...
    prosperousme prosperousme 26-30 7 Responses May 18, 2013

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    October 20th 2009

    It seemed just like any other day. I woke up, got ready for school but little did I know that at the end of the day, my mom wasn't going to be coming home. It was breast cancer awareness day at my school, so everyone wore pink. I heard an announcement come over the intercom...
    ekbjordan ekbjordan 18-21, F Nov 18, 2013

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    My Moms Died.

    My mom commited suicide yesterday at 5:00 pm. I am only 12 years old. I'm extremly depressed. I dont have a dad. But I have a grandma and a uncle. I'm just looking for a whole bunch of answers. I miss her so much. What do I do?
    MikaleH MikaleH 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 24, 2013

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    We Needed You Mommy!Why Did You Let That Man

    Get The Best Of You?-October 21,1999. Stuttgart,Germany. One month before her 30th birthday.I was five years old. My brother was almost 7. Someone from her post(she was a US Citizen who worked at the nearby Army base) called to tell our caregiver she was dead of an apparent...
    IllusionWithGrayEyes IllusionWithGrayEyes 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 29

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    "She lived a charmed life" Words from my aunt,

    my mothers oldest sister, trying to make sense of her sisters suicide. My mother shot herself in my head on November 19th, 2013. She told my younger sister, who is 16, that she was going upstairs to take a nap, and never came back down. My sister heard the shot, came upstairs...
    simmk simmk 18-21, F 7 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    Going Through The Motions

    I lost my brother to suicide 8 years ago and my mother to suicide last year! My mother had agoraphobia and anxiety but managed to overcome it for a long time and was able to work. My brother was diagnosed with mental illness in his early twenties an battled with it for almost 9...
    FourHearts FourHearts 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 2, 2013

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    The Other Heart

    If it is ok, as I do not want to hurt anyone with my story. I only hope to shed light on the other side of this deeply sad coin. What I am about to write comes from the most humble, true place in my heart. I have walked the razor sharp edge of the abyss of suicide. In all the...
    MegentaMoon MegentaMoon 51-55, F 2 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    My mom just committed suicide.

    She passed away on March 7, and I found out March 13. I just want to wake up from this wretched dream. I just want to call her so badly and talk to her for hours. She was the most amazing woman in the world. I'm not handling this really well. I listened to one of her voicemails...
    alexthornton alexthornton 18-21, M 5 Responses Mar 18

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    I was one year old when my mother ended her

    life. It was two days after New Years, 1998. She had depression her whole life. She chose to hang herself while it was just me and her in our tiny apartment. My parents were 21. My dad had been cheating on her and was out of town for New Years when she did it. I was there alone...
    maddiejuliet maddiejuliet 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    My mom hung herself on october 17,

    2003. I was 17 and we had the biggest arguement ever the night before. My last words to my mom were i hate you, get out of my life! Im 27 yrs old now and i still cry almost daily. The pain is still there just like it was yesterday. I was told it would get easier with time but...
    calmdownmom86 calmdownmom86 26-30, F 6 Responses Jan 29

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    My Mother Broke My Heart

    My mother overdosed on ambien, (sleeping pills), after chasing them down with wine. My heart is shattered into pieces. I have a 5 month old son whose life she was so ready to be a part of. He is her first grand baby and she loved him more than words could explain. I am so lost...
    beccamarieday420 beccamarieday420 18-21 2 Responses Nov 18, 2013

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    Why?

    I lost my mother to suicide exactly one month ago today. Looking back at our lives, my family realized that her angry moments truly reflected bipolar disorder just like her own mother and brother. I knew my mother had been struggling for about a year now, but she promised me...
    usmcgirl1231 usmcgirl1231 18-21, F 5 Responses May 6, 2013

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    I lost my mom to suicide in May 2014.

    She had made several attempts in the last ten years and made threats every couple of months. I always assumed they were cries for attention, so I would give her all the attention she needed at first I would drive to her house stay with her all night, visit her at the hospital...
    heatherash1204 heatherash1204 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 21

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    i wasn't one to cry when i found out my mother

    killed herself. at the age of ten i woke up to find my family a mess, with the news fresh on their minds. my mother had just jumped in front of a train. before that i have never fully understood how sick my mother had been. i had never question why she sleep for hours in the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses May 5

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    Less than 10 months ago my life changed

    drastically, it was a sun shining day but yet a horrible day. Around 4 or 5 pm my sister found my mother dead in her bed. We had a clue on how she died but it wasn't proven until at least 3 months after. She had committed suicide by overdosing. Only recently i have found out...
    ninja6152 ninja6152 13-15 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    The last time I saw my mom,

    I drove over to her house, to bring her a veggie burger. She met me outside, because I was rushed and going away for a week, to Disneyland with my family. My husband, my daughter, 8, and son, 6. She was in good spirits. She laughed and acted as normal. My mom has been alone and...
    boomer97146 boomer97146 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 17

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    She committed suicide on March 3rd

    and my wife and I found her on March 4th. I'm lost and don't know what to do.....This is just so unreal......
    ToliverLyons ToliverLyons 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Traci

    Everyday I think about the times we could have shared, I think of the things you could have taught me, how much love I missed from you, how much love you missed from me....I wish I was able to help you, I was only two when you decided to end your life...I know you had...
    MESB MESB 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 30, 2013

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    Mom

    My brother, Andrew, and I lost our mom, Joanie, to suicide in July of 2011.  My mom was only 57 years old. She had battled with alcoholism and depression for many years.  I know that she was suicidal for a long time and many times she only held on for my brother and I.   In...
    J4momsquad J4momsquad 22-25 5 Responses Apr 2, 2012

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    My mum didn't die but was in hospital

    after attempt suicide. She was found in a ditch and with a few details actually tried to end her life in a multiple of ways: She was found in her car covered in petrol. She was unconscious from the overdose before she could set everything alight. This happened around four...
    greaves98 greaves98 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    My Mom Took Her Life

    My mom passed away on may 23 2013 but i dident find her untill the 29th my mom was mentally ill and i guess it got to her she alienated the whole family and took a overdose of pills i lost my mother my son lost his best friend i had no help no support through her death i found...
    abigheartedleo abigheartedleo 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    It was a little over two months ago.

    And I blame myself... I hurt her in so many different ways. I will never forgive myself.
    amberlysue amberlysue 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 10

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    September 26, 2013

    My mother shot herself in the chest on this date. I am lost and have no idea what to do, how to feel, what to think. She had a history of attempts (5 by overdosing on pills) but I never thought I would lose her. Her latest attempt was July 19, 2013 and I pushed her away after...
    ALA444 ALA444 36-40 2 Responses Oct 15, 2013

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    January 18th, 2014. Police chased me down on

    January 20th. They had called, to tell me they had some bad news they had to "pass on." I thought if they were going to arrest me I should at least head out for my photography drive before I was arrested. Then it occurred to me that if I was, they would have said I was over the...
    girlivyg girlivyg 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 25

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    Related Experiences

    It has been 14 years since my mother commited suicide. One night she went out and drowned herself. She was depressed and probably had some other issues she took with her. Still I...
    Will001 Will001 22-25, M 2 Responses Aug 3

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    My mother lies to create conflict between me, my sister and our dad. Her and my dad are separated but she still does it. Her family blame my dad but it has become obvious to me in...
    paliglass paliglass 31-35, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    It is Throwback Thursday, and this one is a very emotional one for me. With the death of Robin Williams who committed suicide, it brings back the moment I found out about my sister...
    bemyvalentine bemyvalentine 56-60, F 7 Responses Aug 14

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    It took me long enough to share this but I felt I had too. The recent death of the late Robin Williams brought back memories of own biological fathers' suicide. I was ten at the...
    ChristyyS ChristyyS 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's only been a little over year since my mother walked out, and no one should ever have to brave that storm. I wonder still every day when it becomes easier. She was my...
    TheMostBeautifulBitterFruit TheMostBeautifulBitterFruit 16-17, F 2 days ago

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    I work perm nights and often get woken by my dog who needs to go in the garden, one day knowing the house was empty I just got out of bed and let the dog out, the wife came home...
    Southlincsman Southlincsman 46-50, M 4 hrs ago

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    My Mother-When I was 6 a nanny took my older brother,younger brother,and I on an outing. My father was out of town on business. The nanny brought us back to the family home and as...
    Hoshanna Hoshanna 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 4

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    I was 12. Painfully shy,bullied at school,and the unfortunate child of indulgent yet narcissistic parents. Something sent me over the edge. Maybe I anticipated less than perfect...
    Joha0505 Joha0505 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Although not a direct loss to me, my great-grandmother committed suicide when my grandfather was only fourteen. She was going through a terrible divorce and my grandfather had ran...
    xSundip xSundip 18-21, M 4 Responses Aug 4

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    I grew up with a Mom and Dad and two sisters. Particularly close with my Mom and middle sister. I am the oldest. We were raised in a beautiful place, very happy and were very close...
    kgirl76 kgirl76 36-40, F 2 Responses Aug 6

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