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I Lost My Virginity To Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,643 People

    I Had To Give My Boyfriend A Substitute Virginity

    I was raped by a guy I met at a party my freshman year of college. At the time, I was a virgin. When I finally met my current boyfriend, I went through months of guilt for not being able to share my virginity with him. Finally, I decided to give him my anal virginity...
    notavictimasurvivor notavictimasurvivor 18-21 7 Responses Apr 2, 2013

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    I had just turned 18

    and he was pushing 30. We had been dating for a few weeks when he said he loved me. After that, things started going wrong. He would talk about my 17/18 year old friends and how they were in much better shape than I and how I really wasn't as smart or pretty as I thought I was...
    WarriorKitten WarriorKitten 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 13

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    It's your fault. It wasn't rape.

    You didn't want it, but you didn't try hard to resist. Right? I mean.. it's not like you were an insecure 14 year old and he was a responsible adult or anything. Crying, pleading and gently trying to push him off aren't exactly going to do anything- you turned him on, and you...
    NekroNomikon NekroNomikon 18-21, F 12 Responses Apr 4

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    Stolen Innocence

    Throughout my childhood I had never learnt about sex. The summer before starting seventh grade, I still didn't really know what sex was, I was twelve. That summer my family and I had gone to Balina, Queensland for the holidays and stayed with mum and dad's friends there, they had...
    isabellemitchell isabellemitchell 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 13, 2013

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    I was raped. Intensely

    and physically raped. I also had sweat dripping from my chest..
    DepressedClevelandSportsFan DepressedClevelandSportsFan 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 9

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    i still class myself

    as a virgin though, no one knows i was actually raped, i just told the police what happened but left out the rape bit... im just too embarrassed; i dont want to be a victim or i dont want people to feel sorry for me. and i just want to forget it myself, act like it didnt happen...
    EvaSFenty EvaSFenty 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 12

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    I was 14 and for so long I suffered from it.

    I was suffering from depression and the person who I thought was going to get me out of it poisoned my life.
    tonightsthenight tonightsthenight 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15

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    You Will Never Forget Your First...

    I'm going to make this simple and to the point. I was raped 9 years ago, when I was 14. I was a freshman in high school, had a steady boyfriend and great grades. However, I had to stay after school one day in April, to make up a World History exam. I asked my sister, who was a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 37 Responses Mar 31, 2013

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    I was 8 when it happened.

    It was sadistic and brutal. Most of the people I have told say it doesn't count as losing my virginity but I always have counted it. It sucks but it's the way I've felt about it. I wish it wasn't, but there you have it.
    xzxw xzxw 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 5

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    I was raped on July 4th 2009,

    so almost exactly 5 years ago. To keep this brief, I am mostly over it, and entirely ready to become stronger. But what's eating away at me is wondering if he remembers it at all.. I wonder if he remembers that he used and abused a stupid 17 year old girl at a party with all...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar 18-21, F 16 Responses Jul 3

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    I remember alot about my rape it was brutal

    and I got pregnant by it and I don't know who is the father. I was raped by 3 men very tall and they were definitely adults. Well I will start from the beginning it all started when I was at my my grandmothers house and there was a guy lawn mowing my grandmothers grass and I...
    Sarah4orever Sarah4orever 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 2

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    I lost my virginity at 8 years old thanks to a

    friends dad. I went to my friends for a sleep over for the first time and her father called us into the studie. He then told us to take our cloths off friend did so and then I slowly started to *****. He walked over to me and grabbed my nipple and swedes it. Then i feel him turn...
    dumbbutt11 dumbbutt11 26-30, T 6 Responses Sep 29

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    May 28, 1986 Dear Clara,

    Nathan and I went to the Zoo today. It was his idea because I had to go see his grandpa again at night. I got to his house and he let me come in and we made lunches together in his kitchen. I put everything in my backpack and he was dressed really cool. It was really hot...
    TheKeepersSecret TheKeepersSecret 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 14

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    While My Mother Was Watching And Did Nothing

    I was 14 years old when it happened. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and always heard stories of all the horrible stuff people would do. I was scared all the time, but I never would of thought that I would be raped in my own house and my mother watched.. I walked into the house...
    deleted deleted 26-30 51 Responses May 6, 2012

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    4 Years Later, I Could Say The Word "rape".

    The word "rape" makes me cringe, especially when used so lightly and in common conversations. Such as "I just got raped by that test" or "I would rape a sandwich right now". I get cold and sick and when I have to say it, I stutter it. Four years afterwards though, I could say I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Jun 21, 2012

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    I'm a good person, I help every one I can

    and would never hurt a fly. I was a good student and a amazing friend but life just never dealt me very nice cards. I was barely 14 when I got sick, it progressed quickly and sooner then later I was unable to go to school. Soon after that I was unable to even go out of the house...
    abusedandused abusedandused 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 9

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    This Time Of Year

    It's always this time of year when I remember more things that happened when I was raped since the holidays are like a jumbled together I don't know how I remember them but its like every time a holiday comes my brain releases something I locked up in a vault in my head to forget...
    melvis501388 melvis501388 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 31, 2013

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    Dumb Little Girl

    I'm not sure this actually qualifies as rape, but I decided to put my story here to share with you all. This experience, while scary and painful at first, hasn't devastated my life, nor does it haunt me. But this experience has taught me to use better judgement. Here's my story...
    LittleDuck622 LittleDuck622 26-30, F 11 Responses Sep 26, 2013

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    April 28, 1986 Dear Clara,

    I'm sorry I had to hide you last night because a different man did the same thing to me the other man did the nights before and I didn't want him to dirty you... like he dirtied me. When I stayed in that room they made me wear a white mask and tied me on the bed so they knew...
    TheKeepersSecret TheKeepersSecret 36-40, F Sep 13

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    When i was 14 which is 5 years ago a cousin of

    mine stayed over and watched me while my parents were gone but then after they left he put me on the couch and i screamed i kicked i punched but he did rape me and after he did he ran out of the house and left so i called the police and he was put in prison
    SexyBlonde777 SexyBlonde777 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 31

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    when i was 16 my family went out of town

    and I did not want to go, so I stayed home. I was woken up one night to a cat, But i didn't own a Cat, then I realized 2 guys had broke into my house, and before i could get away, they pulled out a gun and put it to my head. Then they forced me to the bedroom and tied me down...
    zen2560 zen2560 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 11

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    The Story Of How

    My story starts when I stayed late at my friends house. It was dark by the time I was leaving and her brother offered to walk me home. It wasn't that far so I said he didn't have to. But he insisted. On our way we laughed and joked. Shared embarrassing school moments. He was my...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo 18-21, F 17 Responses Nov 26, 2012

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    I was 8. He had invited me over to spend the

    night a ton that summer. I was best friends with his daughter. But one night I couldn't sleep and I wandered out to the living room. He was there. He told me I could cuddle with him. He would carry me back to bed with I had fallen asleep. I had always slept in my parents bed...
    Haybaybee Haybaybee 18-21, F 5 Responses Jun 21

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    I've been gone for a while.

    . to everyone on here that relied on me for support, I am so so sorry to disappear without warning. I hope you are all still here and doing well.
    storyofyourlife storyofyourlife 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I was found unconscious,

    naked and covered in blood. Just laying in the street dumped. I was only found because a car accidentally ran me over. I was taken immediately to hospital and into surgery. My brain had a massive hemmorage with pressure being put onto my brain. My urethra had been severed...
    sarahwhoknows sarahwhoknows 18-21, F 12 Responses Nov 14

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    Only now 5 years later am I starting the

    process to deal with my assault, I dint know why now but now it's all I think about is that I should of told someone or dine something I'm so stupid
    chloeeliza21 chloeeliza21 18-21, F 5 Responses Dec 12

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    I don't really know how to start.

    it is like there is a filter in my brain keeping me from talking about it. But maybe i can write about it. So Hello there i guess. it is almost exactly 6 months ago, i can't believe that 7 months ago it wasn't a part of me, i was just trouble free, foolish little me. Any ways 6...
    helloandgoodby helloandgoodby 18-21, F 10 Responses Dec 12, 2013

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    I Was Stupid

    Well it started when I had saw this guy at school many of times and he sort of looked weird but I never paid him no mind my friends would always want to go hang out with him and he would want me to come but I said no thank you and I got straight A's I was your typical girl so one...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    it was last year. I was in my first year of

    college and I was getting out from my first class of the day. One older guy who I was afraid of came over and started kissing me. i glared at him and walked away. he then grabbed me and pulled me into his room. i kicked and punched him but he wouldnt let go. he pulled my...
    childlover4evr childlover4evr 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    I had a profile on here once

    and I wrote about this a little, but I'd like to expand on it... I was repeatedly molested at 8 years old by a trusted family member. After almost 2 years it sort of... progressed(?) into rape. I couldn't understand what was happening to me at the time. I just knew it was...
    AylaOatmeal AylaOatmeal 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 7

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    I Should Have Been Smarter

    i had just turned 16 years old and i already struggled with depression from previous verbal abuse as a child but now one of my closest friends had passed away, i had never felt so lost in my life. there was this guy who was 23, he started showing interest in me and knew all the...
    lookingforsomethinglost lookingforsomethinglost 18-21, F 45 Responses Sep 29, 2011

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    I was one of those who waited- I don't know

    for what exactly, I guess I thought I'd know when it was right. I'd had boyfriends but I hadn't slept with them. In Freshers Week, first year of uni, I joined the hiking society. I went out on their social and wanted to make a good impression, make friends. This guy started...
    justnobody1272 justnobody1272 18-21, F 5 Responses Nov 11

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    New Years Eve 1992

    I was young it was the first real New Years Eve party I was ever invited to. Getting ready to go was better than prom. I had a formal dress with a white top and a black skirt. The wrap for my sholders was red and sparkley just like my shoes. It was the first time I wore perfume...
    LadyGypsy LadyGypsy 36-40, F 49 Responses Mar 21, 2013

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    I didn't though but my ex did.

    She used to be very shy when we started dating but when she got over the 1st fear, it was as if she couldn't stop! We had sooo much seks it was crazy!
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 22

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    A Stolen Childhood.

    I was eight when he first put his hands down my pants. i was eight when he trhreatened to hurt my baby sister if i said anything to anyone. I never said a word. I began to beg my mom to let us stay home and she thought it was because i didn't wanna have a stranger replace my...
    Cbaybay1992 Cbaybay1992 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 2, 2013

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    I was raped at 13 years old.

    It was a 30 something year old man that lived in my neighborhood. I'm currently 26 years old. It doesn't really bother me today but I sometimes wonder how much of an effect it's made on my life, who I am today, choices I've made, and choices I'll make in the future
    hbjjg hbjjg 26-30, F Dec 12

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    Just Another Story..

    I dont like starting my story about how awful my rape was... I need to tell you about me.. My name is Kaylan. I am 18 years old, & i have a son named Asxen Larkin. Now here is my story. I was a freshman in high school. Short blonde skinny, everyone called me beautiful and told...
    LarkinsMommy LarkinsMommy 18-21, F 24 Responses Dec 22, 2012

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    11 Year Old

    my mother and i were homeless. she was a heroin addict and well she could use some money, so she used me as her personal prostitute.. first time i had to work i was just 11 years old. this old guy i guess begin 50, dont know for shure. I still cant believe how a 50 year old could...
    Woesh Woesh 18-21, F 37 Responses Nov 13, 2012

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    I was 20 years old almost 21.

    I wanted to save my virginity. Until I found someone I really wanted to lose it to. I was at my ex-boyfriend's house there were several people were there his roommates, one of our mutual friends and, others I hadn't really known. Yes we were drinking. I brought my friend to keep...
    haythursunshine haythursunshine 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 5

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    When I was 17 me and my twin brother (let's

    call him James) where staying over at my boyfriends house (let's call him Aaron) with some other friends. our parents were out of town so my mum had asked get friends step-son (let's call him Tom) to keep an eye on us, he was coming round to Aaron's with us, he was in our year...
    TheGreenEyedGirl TheGreenEyedGirl 18-21, F 13 Responses Jan 6

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    I was raped when I was 11 by my sisters

    boyfriend they took me abroad on holiday and that's when it happened I have never really got over it and I'm 27 now I still have nightmares and I still blame myself and since that day everything in my life went wrong
    lostandlonely87 lostandlonely87 26-30, F 6 Responses Oct 12

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    lisarowell420 lisarowell420 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    It was a few days after my 14th birthday.

    I grew up in a really really strict home. A few popular girls invited me to a party. I thought this meant they wanted to be my friend! I was so thrilled. I snuck out of my house through the back door late at night and the girls picked me up in their car down the street. We went...
    Thatonegirl53 Thatonegirl53 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3

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    My Best Friend's Boyfriend Stole My Virginity

    It was 2 days before I turned 17 and the end of the school year. My friend M and I were going to skip school together because it was the last day before finals. She had asked her boyfriend to come with us and he said he would. But that morning she found out she had to do a test...
    zesta zesta 31-35, F 9 Responses Apr 22, 2013

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    It all started a 5 years ago I went to my best

    friends house while my mom was at work. My best friends dad was watching us because her mom was also at work. Me and my friend decided to take a nap after playing karaoke for 3 hours straight . While she was sleep her dad woke me up, he said that he needed help getting something...
    aliceloves123 aliceloves123 22-25, F 7 Responses Aug 2

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    I was raped at 14. No one found out I was raped

    until 3 years later when I finally spoke up about it.. It was three years of my life I know I'd never get back and the day it happened, I felt I was no longer in control of anything in my life. It felt like my own life had slipped through my own fingers. Every day I'm constantly...
    SubmissiveSecrets SubmissiveSecrets 18-21, F 17 Responses Jul 22

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    I wanted to wait. You know,

    like "good girls" do.. I wanted my first to be someone special, someone I loved. I was 17 and I joined my friends to there place, three hours away from where I live.. A summer break from my city and the people in it. It was supposed to be a fun month, with summer, swimming...
    Rapedandbetrayed Rapedandbetrayed 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 15

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    Just read this on someone's blog

    and it's so true .. "Defining virginity ultimately has to be an individual journey. From a personal perspective I prefer to say that I was raped as a virgin rather than I lost my virginity to rape. My virginity was never up for grabs as it was always mine to choose to share with...
    demie18 demie18 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 27

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    When I was 13 me and my family went on this

    "family trip" so we were headed to where we were going, until I told my mom I had to use the bathroom. And that's when she stopped over and turned in the woods so I could go, but I didn't want to go alone cause I was scared, so that's when my brother(he was 18) said he would...
    lanadelreyyfan lanadelreyyfan 18-21, F 15 Responses May 11

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    I lost my virginity to rape

    when I was 19. I was on break at work when he pushed me against the wall. I told him no several times but he still untucked my work shirt and slammed his hand into my slacks. He tried to stimulate me but it didn't work. I pulled his hand out and tried my best to push him away...
    Daddysdirtyslave Daddysdirtyslave 18-21, F 14 Responses Jul 18

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    I was 9 when I was raped.

    I had been hanging out with some friends and as the afternoon went on eventually everyone left, apart from me and this guy. I knew him as he would come and stay at his grandparents regularly. We sat together and I watched as he played his game boy, as I watched I asked for a go...
    suicidalangel124 suicidalangel124 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 2

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