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I Lost My Virginity To Rape

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,656 People

    I was 20 years old almost 21.

    I wanted to save my virginity. Until I found someone I really wanted to lose it to. I was at my ex-boyfriend's house there were several people were there his roommates, one of our mutual friends and, others I hadn't really known. Yes we were drinking. I brought my friend to keep...
    haythursunshine haythursunshine
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Dec 5, 2014

    I didn't though but my ex did.

    She used to be very shy when we started dating but when she got over the 1st fear, it was as if she couldn't stop! We had sooo much seks it was crazy!
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 22, 2014

    Just read this on someone's blog

    and it's so true .. "Defining virginity ultimately has to be an individual journey. From a personal perspective I prefer to say that I was raped as a virgin rather than I lost my virginity to rape. My virginity was never up for grabs as it was always mine to choose to share with...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Aug 27, 2014

    I was raped. Intensely

    and physically raped. I also had sweat dripping from my chest..
    DepressedClevelandSportsFan DepressedClevelandSportsFan
    22-25, M
    1 Response Sep 9, 2014

    I had just turned 18

    and he was pushing 30. We had been dating for a few weeks when he said he loved me. After that, things started going wrong. He would talk about my 17/18 year old friends and how they were in much better shape than I and how I really wasn't as smart or pretty as I thought I was...
    WarriorKitten WarriorKitten
    31-35, F
    1 Response Oct 13, 2014

    I am going to try to keep it short

    as possible, I live with my boyfriend so my boyfriend went over his mothers house cuz she was sick and needed to be taken care of so he said he would be there for around a week or so. So he had left and it was the day after he left 2 of his friends came over while I had my...
    Kerry2016 Kerry2016
    18-21, F
    Feb 9, 2015

    I was one of those who waited- I don't know

    for what exactly, I guess I thought I'd know when it was right. I'd had boyfriends but I hadn't slept with them. In Freshers Week, first year of uni, I joined the hiking society. I went out on their social and wanted to make a good impression, make friends. This guy started...
    justnobody1272 justnobody1272
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 11, 2014

    May 28, 1986 Dear Clara,

    Nathan and I went to the Zoo today. It was his idea because I had to go see his grandpa again at night. I got to his house and he let me come in and we made lunches together in his kitchen. I put everything in my backpack and he was dressed really cool. It was really hot...
    TheKeepersSecret TheKeepersSecret
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2014

    It only happened just over 6 months ago just

    as I turned 17. I wanted to save myself until I found the right person. Ever since I have been so depressed and im scared of everything and I can't tell anyone about it and it's killing me it's all I think about and I'm scared it won't get easier. :(
    xforeverlonelyx xforeverlonelyx
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Dec 28, 2014

    I was raped on July 4th 2009,

    so almost exactly 5 years ago. To keep this brief, I am mostly over it, and entirely ready to become stronger. But what's eating away at me is wondering if he remembers it at all.. I wonder if he remembers that he used and abused a stupid 17 year old girl at a party with all...
    MyMindCravesNectar MyMindCravesNectar
    22-25, F
    20 Responses Jul 3, 2014

    What It's Done To Me

    Went To My Friends Friend House And .... she left me there after a while and next thing you know this guy who i found out was named Ray made his way into the bathroom where i was and he tackled me and i fell over and hit my head on the tile floor and at first im like WTH ? My...
    AubriannaMiShelle AubriannaMiShelle
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Sep 28, 2012

    I Had To Give My Boyfriend A Substitute Virginity

    I was raped by a guy I met at a party my freshman year of college. At the time, I was a virgin. When I finally met my current boyfriend, I went through months of guilt for not being able to share my virginity with him. Finally, I decided to give him my anal virginity...
    notavictimasurvivor notavictimasurvivor
    7 Responses Apr 2, 2013

    I lost my virginity at 8 years old thanks to a

    friends dad. I went to my friends for a sleep over for the first time and her father called us into the studie. He then told us to take our cloths off friend did so and then I slowly started to *****. He walked over to me and grabbed my nipple and swedes it. Then i feel him turn...
    dumbbutt11 dumbbutt11
    26-30, T
    6 Responses Sep 29, 2014

    I've been gone for a while.

    . to everyone on here that relied on me for support, I am so so sorry to disappear without warning. I hope you are all still here and doing well.
    storyofyourlife storyofyourlife
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Dec 16, 2014

    I was 15 and lived in Germany

    and he was 21 and was in the Army. My friends and I made friends with a few army guys and most of them were pretty good guys except of course the one I was with. He was very good looking and charming and he would come on to me all the time. I had never even kissed a guy but I...
    anabelljones66 anabelljones66
    31-35, F
    Mar 3, 2016

    I Should Have Been Smarter

    i had just turned 16 years old and i already struggled with depression from previous verbal abuse as a child but now one of my closest friends had passed away, i had never felt so lost in my life. there was this guy who was 23, he started showing interest in me and knew all the...
    lookingforsomethinglost lookingforsomethinglost
    18-21, F
    42 Responses Sep 29, 2011

    I was raped when I was 11 by my sisters

    boyfriend they took me abroad on holiday and that's when it happened I have never really got over it and I'm 27 now I still have nightmares and I still blame myself and since that day everything in my life went wrong
    lostandlonely87 lostandlonely87
    26-30, F
    5 Responses Oct 12, 2014

    This will be the THIRD time i'm posting it.

    And if my profile gets deleted again, I'LL MAKE A NEW ONE! No one believes me because I'm an eleven year old. But let's be serious for a moment. Our Earth has fallen from grace. What I mean, THERE ARE SOME ****** UP PEOPLE. Seriously, is there anyone who believes me...
    StillAliveAndStrong StillAliveAndStrong
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Jan 3, 2015

    April 28, 1986 Dear Clara,

    I'm sorry I had to hide you last night because a different man did the same thing to me the other man did the nights before and I didn't want him to dirty you... like he dirtied me. When I stayed in that room they made me wear a white mask and tied me on the bed so they knew...
    TheKeepersSecret TheKeepersSecret
    36-40, F
    Sep 13, 2014

    I was 14 and for so long I suffered from it.

    I was suffering from depression and the person who I thought was going to get me out of it poisoned my life.
    tonightsthenight tonightsthenight
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 15, 2014

    It all started a 5 years ago I went to my best

    friends house while my mom was at work. My best friends dad was watching us because her mom was also at work. Me and my friend decided to take a nap after playing karaoke for 3 hours straight . While she was sleep her dad woke me up, he said that he needed help getting something...
    aliceloves123 aliceloves123
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Aug 2, 2014

    At 9 it was lost Dreamt of the Whistles in a

    tree A little breeze leaf Fell in tear of rain But feathers Silently came And laid beneath And saved A little leaf In a tear of rain
    fluke19 fluke19
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Sep 12, 2014

    I wanted to wait. You know,

    like "good girls" do.. I wanted my first to be someone special, someone I loved. I was 17 and I joined my friends to there place, three hours away from where I live.. A summer break from my city and the people in it. It was supposed to be a fun month, with summer, swimming...
    Rapedandbetrayed Rapedandbetrayed
    22-25, F
    1 Response Oct 15, 2014

    any man thats has to rape someone to feel

    pwerful is not a man he is a coward
    1bigbeardaddy 1bigbeardaddy
    Sep 9, 2015

    4 Years Later, I Could Say The Word "rape".

    The word "rape" makes me cringe, especially when used so lightly and in common conversations. Such as "I just got raped by that test" or "I would rape a sandwich right now". I get cold and sick and when I have to say it, I stutter it. Four years afterwards though, I could say I...
    deleted deleted
    11 Responses Jun 21, 2012

    Just Another Story..

    I dont like starting my story about how awful my rape was... I need to tell you about me.. My name is Kaylan. I am 18 years old, & i have a son named Asxen Larkin. Now here is my story. I was a freshman in high school. Short blonde skinny, everyone called me beautiful and told...
    LarkinsMommy LarkinsMommy
    18-21, F
    22 Responses Dec 22, 2012

    I was 8. He had invited me over to spend the

    night a ton that summer. I was best friends with his daughter. But one night I couldn't sleep and I wandered out to the living room. He was there. He told me I could cuddle with him. He would carry me back to bed with I had fallen asleep. I had always slept in my parents bed...
    Haybaybee Haybaybee
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jun 21, 2014

    Why Me ?

    When I was 13 , my cousin always was around , felt more like a brother than a cousin . We were really close . One night at my dads house he asked me to stay up with him , I didn't think much of it , so I did . We just talked and talked and as I was talking he leaned forward...
    Piercedprincess17 Piercedprincess17
    18-21, F
    19 Responses Sep 2, 2013

    This Time Of Year

    It's always this time of year when I remember more things that happened when I was raped since the holidays are like a jumbled together I don't know how I remember them but its like every time a holiday comes my brain releases something I locked up in a vault in my head to forget...
    melvis501388 melvis501388
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Oct 31, 2013

    It's your fault. It wasn't rape.

    You didn't want it, but you didn't try hard to resist. Right? I mean.. it's not like you were an insecure 14 year old and he was a responsible adult or anything. Crying, pleading and gently trying to push him off aren't exactly going to do anything- you turned him on, and you...
    NekroNomikon NekroNomikon
    22-25, F
    9 Responses Apr 4, 2014

    A Stolen Childhood.

    I was eight when he first put his hands down my pants. i was eight when he trhreatened to hurt my baby sister if i said anything to anyone. I never said a word. I began to beg my mom to let us stay home and she thought it was because i didn't wanna have a stranger replace my...
    Cbaybay1992 Cbaybay1992
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Oct 2, 2013

    You Will Never Forget Your First...

    I'm going to make this simple and to the point. I was raped 9 years ago, when I was 14. I was a freshman in high school, had a steady boyfriend and great grades. However, I had to stay after school one day in April, to make up a World History exam. I asked my sister, who was a...
    deleted deleted
    34 Responses Mar 31, 2013

    Just Seventeen

    Well, I wore my most beautiful outfit. It was a yellow Mohair sweater over a white blouse and I had made the skirt and it was yellow light-weight wool. This boy had been coming to our house and seeing me and then one time he asked if we could to the local Dari Mart where all the...
    Callalilly Callalilly
    66-70, F
    4 Responses Sep 16, 2013

    It happens every day

    and he told me that if I tell, he'll kill me. And I KNOW he means it. But I don't know WHAT to do. I'm so frustrated and confused. It's scary and I don't want to go through it anymore. If you knew me, you would be able to tell I was suicidal. I have bloody, scarred wrists...
    SuicidalRapeBaby SuicidalRapeBaby
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 29, 2014

    I was raped at 13 years old.

    It was a 30 something year old man that lived in my neighborhood. I'm currently 26 years old. It doesn't really bother me today but I sometimes wonder how much of an effect it's made on my life, who I am today, choices I've made, and choices I'll make in the future
    hbjjg hbjjg
    26-30, F
    Dec 12, 2014

    11 Year Old

    my mother and i were homeless. she was a heroin addict and well she could use some money, so she used me as her personal prostitute.. first time i had to work i was just 11 years old. this old guy i guess begin 50, dont know for shure. I still cant believe how a 50 year old could...
    Woesh Woesh
    18-21, F
    33 Responses Nov 13, 2012

    The Story Of How

    My story starts when I stayed late at my friends house. It was dark by the time I was leaving and her brother offered to walk me home. It wasn't that far so I said he didn't have to. But he insisted. On our way we laughed and joked. Shared embarrassing school moments. He was my...
    oOoAllieoOo oOoAllieoOo
    18-21, F
    15 Responses Nov 26, 2012

    I was found unconscious,

    naked and covered in blood. Just laying in the street dumped. I was only found because a car accidentally ran me over. I was taken immediately to hospital and into surgery. My brain had a massive hemmorage with pressure being put onto my brain. My urethra had been severed...
    sarahwhoknows sarahwhoknows
    22-25, F
    11 Responses Nov 14, 2014

    it was last year. I was in my first year of

    college and I was getting out from my first class of the day. One older guy who I was afraid of came over and started kissing me. i glared at him and walked away. he then grabbed me and pulled me into his room. i kicked and punched him but he wouldnt let go. he pulled my...
    childlover4evr childlover4evr
    18-21, F
    Nov 27, 2014

    It's a very real thing

    and happened at a fairly young age. Though I'm strong and believe though it has affected my sexuality it doesn't change who I've become and I'm very open and willing about it to those who find themselves in such a situation or those who are just curious....
    Hotwyfe Hotwyfe
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Dec 3, 2013

    Only now 5 years later am I starting the

    process to deal with my assault, I dint know why now but now it's all I think about is that I should of told someone or dine something I'm so stupid
    chloeeliza21 chloeeliza21
    22-25, F
    5 Responses Dec 12, 2014

    Yeppp !! Isn't it amazing how life can be

    so cruel ? I mean one minute you are this happy person and then something happens and it changes you life forever .. countless hours of day dreaming and many sleepless nights all because something went very wrong !! This is not the reality I intended how ? why ? ... is it...
    bluu9 bluu9
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 30, 2014

    I was 9 when I was raped.

    I had been hanging out with some friends and as the afternoon went on eventually everyone left, apart from me and this guy. I knew him as he would come and stay at his grandparents regularly. We sat together and I watched as he played his game boy, as I watched I asked for a go...
    suicidalangel124 suicidalangel124
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 2, 2014

    I Lost A Whole Lot More...

    About a year ago, I lost my virginity to my stepfather. I blame myself for the incident a little bit. If I had maybe fought a little harder, screamed a little louder, maybe I'd still be a virgin. My therapist and grandparents continue to try convince me that it isn't so, but I...
    deleted deleted
    59 Responses Sep 7, 2011

    I remember alot about my rape it was brutal

    and I got pregnant by it and I don't know who is the father. I was raped by 3 men very tall and they were definitely adults. Well I will start from the beginning it all started when I was at my my grandmothers house and there was a guy lawn mowing my grandmothers grass and I...
    Sarah4orever Sarah4orever
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Jan 2, 2014

    When I was 13 me and my family went on this

    "family trip" so we were headed to where we were going, until I told my mom I had to use the bathroom. And that's when she stopped over and turned in the woods so I could go, but I didn't want to go alone cause I was scared, so that's when my brother(he was 18) said he would...
    lanadelreyyfan lanadelreyyfan
    18-21, F
    13 Responses May 11, 2014


    I was twelve years old when it first happened. My mother had only recently separated from my father (a man who never gave a damn about us). My mother soon met a man, whom she married. We lived in a very narrow apartment, only one bathroom, and two bedrooms. I slept in one of...
    Alykz20 Alykz20
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Jan 8, 2013

    I don't really know how to start.

    it is like there is a filter in my brain keeping me from talking about it. But maybe i can write about it. So Hello there i guess. it is almost exactly 6 months ago, i can't believe that 7 months ago it wasn't a part of me, i was just trouble free, foolish little me. Any ways 6...
    helloandgoodby helloandgoodby
    18-21, F
    8 Responses Dec 12, 2013

    i still class myself

    as a virgin though, no one knows i was actually raped, i just told the police what happened but left out the rape bit... im just too embarrassed; i dont want to be a victim or i dont want people to feel sorry for me. and i just want to forget it myself, act like it didnt happen...
    princessfenty princessfenty
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Oct 12, 2014

    Stolen Innocence

    Throughout my childhood I had never learnt about sex. The summer before starting seventh grade, I still didn't really know what sex was, I was twelve. That summer my family and I had gone to Balina, Queensland for the holidays and stayed with mum and dad's friends there, they had...
    isabellemitchell isabellemitchell
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 13, 2013
    GodsArte GodsArte
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Sep 5, 2015

    I was raped at 14. No one found out I was raped

    until 3 years later when I finally spoke up about it.. It was three years of my life I know I'd never get back and the day it happened, I felt I was no longer in control of anything in my life. It felt like my own life had slipped through my own fingers. Every day I'm constantly...
    SubmissiveSecrets SubmissiveSecrets
    22-25, F
    13 Responses Jul 22, 2014

    One Night.

    One night. One night is all that it takes for your life to change. And before that night, I was a virgin. My name is Danie Lynne, I am 18 years old and a Freshman in college. All my life, I have been a pretty typical person. I never got into trouble and I had friends and was good...
    DanieLynne DanieLynne
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 16, 2013

    I was 8 when it happened.

    It was sadistic and brutal. Most of the people I have told say it doesn't count as losing my virginity but I always have counted it. It sucks but it's the way I've felt about it. I wish it wasn't, but there you have it.
    xzxw xzxw
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Nov 5, 2014

    when i was 16 my family went out of town

    and I did not want to go, so I stayed home. I was woken up one night to a cat, But i didn't own a Cat, then I realized 2 guys had broke into my house, and before i could get away, they pulled out a gun and put it to my head. Then they forced me to the bedroom and tied me down...
    zen2560 zen2560
    36-40, F
    1 Response Aug 11, 2014

    Dumb Little Girl

    I'm not sure this actually qualifies as rape, but I decided to put my story here to share with you all. This experience, while scary and painful at first, hasn't devastated my life, nor does it haunt me. But this experience has taught me to use better judgement. Here's my story...
    LittleDuck622 LittleDuck622
    31-35, F
    10 Responses Sep 26, 2013

    I Was Stupid

    Well it started when I had saw this guy at school many of times and he sort of looked weird but I never paid him no mind my friends would always want to go hang out with him and he would want me to come but I said no thank you and I got straight A's I was your typical girl so one...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Sep 30, 2013

    While My Mother Was Watching And Did Nothing

    I was 14 years old when it happened. I grew up in a bad neighborhood and always heard stories of all the horrible stuff people would do. I was scared all the time, but I never would of thought that I would be raped in my own house and my mother watched.. I walked into the house...
    deleted deleted
    51 Responses May 6, 2012
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