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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 136 People

    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2014

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F May 27, 2014

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24, 2014

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    I am passing out of high school this year.

    I'll be in college soon. I'm sure my grades won't be that great for I'm not the same me now. Since my very childhood I have been very responsible to my duties. My father is going through a mental disease, schizophrenia. My mother got to really know about it after their marriage...
    25mayni97 25mayni97 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I don't know who I am anymore I have completely lost my self. I began this year trying to change my life and all I did was make it worst I am falling all of my. lasses I have no...
    misprisy101 misprisy101 13-15, F Mar 6

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    I have served twelve years in the military and I'm likely to get medically discharged due to illness! My body is wrecked, can't do anything I used to enjoy! Relationship has fallen...
    paddy6162 paddy6162 36-40, M 2 Responses Mar 14

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    Where did I go? How do I get myself back?
    gemima123 gemima123 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 14

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    Got this heavy feeling in my chest and it's almost suffocating me.
    BeatTheBest BeatTheBest 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    Don't Know where but Seriously I miss Me :(
    HyperPlanner HyperPlanner 18-21, M Mar 10

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    I don't think there is any way for me to survive... I have only one choice..
    ManiacalQueen ManiacalQueen 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    It's the day before my court. And I am preparing and getting ready for my court trial tomorrow morning. I had to hitch hike to wiky this afternoon. Rode in the back of a truck. Got...
    Brandon15shawana Brandon15shawana 16-17, M 18 hrs ago

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    Ever since I was bullied at primary, I've lost myself. I wrote a list about myself and they were actually nice but deep down I still dislike myself for some reason. I've tried to...
    Myalee Myalee 41-45, F 1 day ago

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    How should I start... hmm.. I finished a very good school and went for studies... Now I am on my second year but I still feel like I am doing it for my mum not for myself. I wish...
    Hashii Hashii 18-21, F 5 hrs ago

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    Im struggling. Just like I've always been. Ppl never are what they seem. I trust ppl an they all eventually turn on me. I take a huge risk letting them know a few things about my...
    AquilaAqua AquilaAqua 13-15, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Lost in my forever lasting battle between myself. in the never ending battle that me yes me who moans at lost Lost confused about the road ahead, alone without anyone to guide me...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 5 days ago

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    Deep within, I flow like the running rivers. Scraping past the surfaces of my own being, allowing myself to see deeply into my own depth. I fall deeply in love with myself, with...
    Lunarflowerrr Lunarflowerrr 22-25, F 53 mins ago

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    I can't help but compare myself to others. My friends are more than just full time students. Here I am at home, still living with my parents, gaming, hardly a social life and no...
    ikg00 ikg00 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    I lost a friend again, today. This wasn't the first time happened to me but it hurts knowing that I am poor at keeping things close. It wasn't easy for me to find a person who...
    rockettothemoon08 rockettothemoon08 18-21, F Mar 8

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    I am proud myself and everything about me, I am proud I am a girl, I am proud of my intelligence , I am proud of the decisions I make. I am proud of the way I think , tge way I...
    rainygirl1992 rainygirl1992 22-25, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I do express myself through writing. throughout my life when I am going through something, as I am contemplating something, I will try and write down these things to help me...
    2batinman 2batinman 46-50, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    No words can hurt me harder than the ones I tell myself… (makes mental note to remember I'm ONLY human)!
    TouchofAutumn TouchofAutumn 70+, F 1 hr ago

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    I get confused and lost often lately. I am in a state I've never seen before, visited, and know nobody. Except for my boyfriend and roommates. Often ask myself, "where am I...
    PartyGuy21 PartyGuy21 18-21, M Mar 4

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    I have $20 in my pocket, and that's it. I have no home any longer. I have no family to go to, I have no close friends to go to, I have no guidance or support I can count on. Every...
    kristenvslife kristenvslife 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    I don't know.. (quick summary if y you knew the whole story...) in the past couple years I've lost so much. Recently I've lost my best friend and now I feel like I lost my family...
    SunshineLaura SunshineLaura 18-21, F Mar 18

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    Well, I often find myself lost and bored All The TIME. But when That happens i put on my headphones and listen to music and it feels right. But i take the headphones out, it all...
    ZeldaNerd ZeldaNerd 13-15, M 1 Response Mar 5

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    Its been a while that I am feeling scared of things, I see nightmares and beside that I am always depressed, and I feel lost. last night I was that much scared of my nightmares...
    massehullahfarokh massehullahfarokh 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 9

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    God give me a chance for closure, or let me find her, bring her to me. Because you know the warrior spirit in me never gave up on his princess, no matter what he never gave up...
    Tarxarin Tarxarin 18-21, M Mar 16

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    I am showing signs of schizophrenia... I never wanted to believe it... I see things that aren't there... There's voices in my head... I feel sensations on my skin as if there...
    MrCutBleedSmile MrCutBleedSmile 18-21, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    I cant explain how i really feel... My mind so corrupt so mentally damaged.. . My heart broken....crying my soul is lost... That I can tell you how it really feels... Some days I...