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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 1 Response May 7

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    brandi0r000 brandi0r000 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F May 27

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I lost myself somewhere along the way when I found love, a deep, penetrating love that I've never known before, that I never could've imagined for myself. And I'm grateful that I...
    Heartbeatangel Heartbeatangel 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 27

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    I am currently reinventing myself, and it doesn't live up to the 'natural standards' of just any woman you meet. I lost myself at the age of 6, sometime around then, in a whirling...
    Yourbaaaby Yourbaaaby 18-21, F Aug 8

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    I just recently experienced the worst heartbreak that i have ever felt. i felt good about myself during the relationship but at the end i felt lost. she broke up with me in the...
    hhhovind hhhovind 16-17, M Jul 30

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    I used to work in this property company which is so full of office politics. The new HR came in and the person didn't like me so he used excuses to speak to the CEO to got me fired...
    maryjaneb maryjaneb 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    yet I keep wondering is there a part of me that I lost if I've never really let myself discover who I am in the first place. Sure I have preferences, tastes, my own ideas, and...
    ajrestless ajrestless 18-21, F Aug 8

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    so im 26 and have two children 4 and 7.I do all i can for them i adore them.Right now it is difficult as my financial status isn't great so obviously im going to worry about there...
    cizzyfla cizzyfla 26-30, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    As far as I can remember I can't recall the last time my parents ever said I love you or we are proud of you hugged me or even had a discussion with me, I'm originally francophone...
    alexaz66 alexaz66 26-30, M Aug 11

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    Im so stupid ., :( how can i sove this problem sorry Mom i lost your things :( its an ACCIDENT .
    lerej16 lerej16 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    It's hard to wake up sometimes... i wake up fearful and stressed about what a new day will bring to me, the not knowing what will happen next is scary. Lots of things have gone...
    TheTurtleDove TheTurtleDove 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    Some days are good. Some aren't, I've always been told life is hard , Get over it. Why should it have to be. I can't do this...
    arabella1108 arabella1108 18-21, F Jul 29

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    i feel like after so long of being unhappy you loose yourself into the world of unhappiness and its hard to redeem your happiness back no matter how hard you try
    cloudymoons cloudymoons 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    In the last two years I've went in a direction I never thought I'd be going. Trying to mend a broken marriage, climb out of debt, dealing with severe depression, anxiety, and anger...
    BlackSenpai BlackSenpai 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 5

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    I am coming out of two different, very bad relationships in the last two years. The first ended with a rape, and the second was over a year of emotional abuse, and I'm really...
    JadeSubbae JadeSubbae 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 11

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    I am not long out of a terrible relationship.This sounds so silly but how do you find yourself?I feel as though I am hollow :/
    soontobeexwife soontobeexwife 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 14

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    Hi Guys GOOD TO BE BACK I have not been on here for a while but I have come back as I feel that you are some of the best people to talk to as there are no judgements and you tell...
    AlexUK23 AlexUK23 18-21, M a week ago

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    Been married for 20 years. Have 4 children whom I love. Gave up everything of who I am as a person for my Wife and children just to be ridiculed and betrayed by these people who...
    morph7 morph7 41-45, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I am tired of my relationship with my husband and yet there is no end in sight ....:(
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    My therapist wants me to be okay, my stepmom wants me to be perfect, my dad wants me to go away, and my teachers want me to try harder. It's had to be yourself when people are...
    celiy celiy 13-15, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I am lost like an abandoned puppy on the side of the road with big sad eyes I'm just looking for a bit of warmth for this chill I feel in me . Everyday it seems like my heart grows...
    imperfectbeauty imperfectbeauty 18-21, F Aug 16

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    I lost my best friend of 18 years, After a long and devastating battle with bone cancer. If you look at my age you will realise that pretty much as far back as I can remember. It...
    HarrietsRevenge HarrietsRevenge 22-25, F 3 hrs ago

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    I lost my dad to cancer. He smoked a lot and was just 52. I guess I am over it mostly. Just some days I get a lil sad thinking about it. What could have been.
    cottonbreeze cottonbreeze 41-45, F 3 hrs ago

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    Even thought im in a casual relationship i still prefer to do things by myself, im not a people person i have friends but still prefer to go catch a movie by myself even a bit of...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    I'm not looking for attention, I'm just trying to vent out my emotions I've been bottling up. But to get to the point, I'm a happy go lucky dude that loves to put a smile on...
    NigNog96 NigNog96 16-17, M 2 hrs ago

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    I'm not looking for attention, I'm just trying to vent out my emotions I've been bottling up. But to get to the point, I'm a happy go lucky dude that loves to put a smile on...
    NigNog96 NigNog96 16-17, M 2 hrs ago

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    That may eventually change. I feel I should cry until my eyes are swollen and bloodshot for the last time. I feel I shouldnt care and put my heart into helping others feel better...
    Lov3intheasylum Lov3intheasylum 31-35, F 4 hrs ago

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    They lie all the time. They say i am unable to love others until I love myself. Tell me, if that were true, why does the sadness of others hurt me?
    ButtersTheMerciful ButtersTheMerciful 13-15, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    It started last year. My journey to shed the pounds that were making me so unhappy. I got to my heaviest weight, about 73 kilos or 160 pounds near the end of last year. Mind you...
    Ally95xx Ally95xx 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 17

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    I'm 167.5 CM tall and I used to gain up to 65kg from 55 kg in 2 years.I've been drinking all the weekend and never watch what I eat and what time I eat. Slowly I felt like I can't...
    Ashleyoo0 Ashleyoo0 22-25, F Aug 2

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    Yes, again. I know I'm not on this very frequently. I see this as my secret little place to vent out and say how I feel. Anyway as few of you may know, I lost my father last year...
    Kratie Kratie 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    Well, things have been hard lately. I've always been a anxious kind of person. It got bad in college, but I learned to deal with it. It's become unbearable since I've graduated...
    lolwhutisthis lolwhutisthis 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 6

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    Crist I haven't written a story on ep for so long I almost forgot how! Anyway I've been lost for many years now. Had my moments to find myself, and I guess I choose not to. Been...
    Slashrattlenroll Slashrattlenroll 41-45, M 2 Responses Aug 13