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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 126 People

    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 1 Response May 7

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F May 27

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I lost myself. I'm no longer me. I look in the. Mirror. And see a stranger. I lost her along the way. I feel like I'm walking in a dead body. I don't feel alive. I feel lost in...
    kjonesr kjonesr 18-21, F Sep 11

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    I was on ep before....loved it...it was my place. i met someone on here, we met, now live together. deleted my ep sometime along the way. three years later now ive lost...
    LostInTheLight LostInTheLight 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    After being in 3 different Fulltime relationships for the past 20yrs since I was 16, I lost myself along the way, who I am, what I like and the real me. I changed myself for those...
    mssst mssst 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 6

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    I wonder if most people feel this way about themselves at some point (or multiple times) in their lives. I know I have. Although for me it's like I can't really put a finger on...
    thedude5600 thedude5600 36-40, M 3 Responses Aug 29

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    so im 26 and have two children 4 and 7.I do all i can for them i adore them.Right now it is difficult as my financial status isn't great so obviously im going to worry about there...
    cizzyfla cizzyfla 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 21

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    Seems to happen time and time again. I am inlove with the most wonderful man but the long distance makes it so hard. My mistake was to build my life around around our relationship...
    nicoleACA nicoleACA 22-25, F Sep 1

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    Im so stupid ., :( how can i sove this problem sorry Mom i lost your things :( its an ACCIDENT .
    lerej16 lerej16 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 24

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    It's hard to wake up sometimes... i wake up fearful and stressed about what a new day will bring to me, the not knowing what will happen next is scary. Lots of things have gone...
    TheTurtleDove TheTurtleDove 22-25, F Aug 24

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    I had a dream this morning. I was back in my school hanging out with my first love. Someone I've loved but did not love me. In the dream we were laying on the bench under the tree...
    SolitarySol SolitarySol 31-35, F Aug 27

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    What a difficult and confusing process...trying to 'un-become', to understand and accept who I truly am...and hopefully get back some of the passion that has been lost in my soul...
    lifesinlimbo lifesinlimbo 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 5

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    Once I was a strong girl, had great friends, my dream job and was just strong. A year later, I am recently dumped, I am in the midst of walking away from my job and I hate myself.
    JeLaWa JeLaWa 22-25 1 Response Aug 31

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    I started out trying to be a good person but there is this side of me that's like a virus infecting my very soul. It is a addiction that never goes away no matter what it always...
    MrAnonymous13 MrAnonymous13 22-25, M Sep 7

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    I want to start off by saying, I love this group name. It fits my situation perfectly. I used to be such a creative, artistic, expressive person. I had a 600+ page role-play going...
    rollingdoro rollingdoro 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Been married for 20 years. Have 4 children whom I love. Gave up everything of who I am as a person for my Wife and children just to be ridiculed and betrayed by these people who...
    morph7 morph7 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 21

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    I am tired of my relationship with my husband and yet there is no end in sight ....:(
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    My therapist wants me to be okay, my stepmom wants me to be perfect, my dad wants me to go away, and my teachers want me to try harder. It's had to be yourself when people are...
    celiy celiy 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 25

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    This tired mechanical heart winding down, this robotic body rusting away, freezing in the darkness, someone save me, shine your light, shatter me out of this, bring me back to...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 4

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    I'm 60 yo male that at one point in my life I had everything in control, everything normal my emotions my confidents, somewhere within the last several years because of trouble...
    dangon75 dangon75 56-60 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Twisted ambitions Demented perception Loveless lust No retention Faults forgiven Bridges burnt Broken down Into the abyss The inner workings Of your mind Trapped Eyes are a...
    KristinaBeena KristinaBeena 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 12

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    I know when you were little girl you dreamed of living in my world don't forget it , don't forget respect that bow down ******* . i took sometime to live my life but don't think i...
    Yovanna Yovanna 18-21, F 6 days ago

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    I'm 24. He's 38. A wife. Two kids. One is two. The other a year almost. He's my co-worker. We share an office together. The first time i saw him, time slowed. His marriage was in...
    lostemt lostemt 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I didn't know that was possible, i did not know that you would lose your own identity. For you to understand what i truly mean do you need to know this, i suffer from an amnesia...
    Theresa248 Theresa248 22-25, F 19 hrs ago

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    I feel so lost that my body actually hurts from the confused emotions. I feel so lost I have no clue wether to smile or not when someone tells a joke or simply smiles at me. I feel...
    bohoemmers bohoemmers 22-25, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    The phone call with my complicated other was.... Complicated? My depression is getting out of control and it does not help that he has been feeling down to. I don't know if he is...
    MysticallyForbidden MysticallyForbidden 18-21, F Aug 29

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    When I feel incredibly down, and when I feel like I've lost my direction I have to talk to myself in the mirror. Sounds weird! But it helps cement-in what I need to tell myself. I...
    FreezerDog1 FreezerDog1 18-21, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    You are looking into my eyes, and in that instant, your gaze is so intent that everything else melts away. There is no sound other than your breathing, my heart pounding in my...
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 26-30, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    A tortured soul lays encased in its self imposed prison, bars made from decaying flesh and bad decisions. Darkness seeps through every pore, blackening the heart which sits at the...
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 26-30, F 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    I lost both parents by the age of 18. My dad died of a brain tumour when I was 17, then my mum died also of cancer when I was 18. I have to live the rest of my life without them.
    Jen97 Jen97 22-25, F 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    Do you know anything worse then rolling into your driveway and seeing your unconditionally loving pet whom you've had since he was a puppy's lifeless body lying there? He was just...
    Someoneatschoolfoundme Someoneatschoolfoundme 16-17, F 13 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I'm lost and I'm afraid. I'm scared of what has happened and I fear what may happen. Every single day I have dozens of macabre scenarios flashing through my mind. I see the people...
    iKitKat iKitKat 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 27

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    I feel like I'm worthless, I feel sad and angry and i feel neglected by my friends. I have always felt like I would never cut myself because at that time in life I was happy and...
    AnonymousSloth AnonymousSloth 13-15 1 hr ago

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