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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 142 People

    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    lovelywarpedlemon lovelywarpedlemon 22-25, F Apr 18, 2015

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    I am passing out of high school this year.

    I'll be in college soon. I'm sure my grades won't be that great for I'm not the same me now. Since my very childhood I have been very responsible to my duties. My father is going through a mental disease, schizophrenia. My mother got to really know about it after their marriage...
    25mayni97 25mayni97 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 10, 2015

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    Its been 9 months and 4 days

    since my dad passed away. Its been 9 months and 4 days since I knew who I was. I havent looked in the mirror and stopped recognizing who I was. I have looked inside to my deepest self and realized I have shattered. I was too afraid to admit it then and too afraid to admit it now...
    hulkgirl hulkgirl 18-21 Dec 4, 2015

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24, 2014

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F May 7, 2014

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F May 27, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    Last night, my girlfriend and I had gotten into a fight, but I tries to kill myself mostly because it triggered feelings of hopelessness and despair from past traumas. I felt like...
    bongolongo bongolongo 26-30, F 49 mins ago

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    I am new here, but I am determined to make this year a new and better year for myself. I am in a marriage where I love my husband but the stress of being a step mom, mom to my 3...
    adangelo121 adangelo121 31-35, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    I draw on myself practically 24-7 my parents sometimes get concerned XD
    Alexconers Alexconers 18-21 1 hr ago

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    Suicide? noooo! Please DON'T. Don't do it! Never! There's always a better way. If you feel so miserable and you think it's the only way out, YOU'RE WRONG! If you're being bullied...
    soyyoprincesa soyyoprincesa 22-25, F 1 hr ago

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    The room is but a dancing ball room behind bared lips. Razor like pencils scribble aimlessly to alter the pyrexia of the subconscious. Always processing step by step like a fax...
    Depravedmonsters Depravedmonsters 13-15, T 4 hrs ago

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    my ex's friend just told me to go kill myself. I've been struggling with suicide and self harm for awhile now. the fact that some people can be so awful astounds me.
    NightshadesSnowflake NightshadesSnowflake 13-15, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    Life is hard. I just want to be happy with what I got, I want to feel at piece with myself and the people close to me. I never do. I'm never satisfied with anything. I keep...
    hopesometimes hopesometimes 18-21, F 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    I took LOT of time studyin for theses tests and I'm proud of myself! I passed both! Just got em back today:)! And my Uncle said he would like to reward me for it:) I'm gonna see it...
    CreepypastaFan2016 CreepypastaFan2016 16-17, F 6 hrs ago

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    lost my ep virginity this morning...it was awesome
    MsMilwaukee MsMilwaukee 18-21, F 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    I lost my dad in 2009. I was in my early 20s and he was 75. I was his caretaker and was there through the whole process of his death. My mom on the other hand died in 2014 at just...
    BlissfulBoredom BlissfulBoredom 26-30, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    Lost my sister this past may. I'm still working through the grief. She had a rare autoimmune disease that was killing her slowly for years, so it wasn't totally unexpected but that...
    BlissfulBoredom BlissfulBoredom 26-30, F 9 hrs ago

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    Depression is the most horrible illness and I feel terrible that I couldn't do more to help you. I'm thinking of all the good times we shared getting into all sorts of trouble and...
    PrettyStarsEverywhere PrettyStarsEverywhere 22-25, F 11 hrs ago

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    today is my first day at work and I tottaly embarrassed myself they were all professionals and I looked so ******* stupid, ahhhhh and I keep repeat it over and over again in my...
    sweeeeeeeeeeetheart sweeeeeeeeeeetheart 18-21, F 11 hrs ago

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    I'm always so ******* alone and it's nobody's fault but mine. I can't seem to help it. I'm trying not to keep so much to myself, but it's only getting worse. I'm sorry.
    kaleidoscopic21 kaleidoscopic21 13-15, F 13 hrs ago

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    I finally did it...finally. I'm writing article for local free magazines. It's not fashion magazines,we pick up serious topics like sexism,abuse,health,mostly about how can we...
    genjiipiexx genjiipiexx 31-35, F 16 hrs ago

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    My best friend at the time and I had known each other since the 6th grade. She was always the person to laugh while I was the shy one. Although I was being bullied by the class...
    ILoveBacon23 ILoveBacon23 18-21, F 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    It's been over a year now since he, my uncle, died and I find myself thinking about him a lot. We didn't see much of one another while he was alive, but in my last few years of...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming 18-21, T 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    to be honest..I have lost alot of myself inside, all this time spent inside myself with wonderings and what should I do's and trying to understand this ****** life I call my own I...
    Cocrispy Cocrispy 22-25, M 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    Coming back home after being away for 10 months. I am currently faced with the dilemma of finding a job. Although when i was travelling i did couchsurfing, helpx and hitchhiking to...
    kmgan kmgan 18-21, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I am in my mid thirties. I have two daughters who live with me. I just finished going through my second divorce, and my heart is pretty broken. Just two weeks prior to her walking...
    JoeGlas JoeGlas 31-35, M 3 days ago

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    It's a funny old world ain't it ?I just wanna write about my experience that I've had with EP over the last couple of years as a way of closure to a relationship with an online...
    RolexRush RolexRush 31-35, F 4 days ago

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