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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 125 People

    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F Jul 13

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 1 Response May 7

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F May 27

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    FalonWolf FalonWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    brandi0r000 brandi0r000 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I lost myself somewhere along the way when I found love, a deep, penetrating love that I've never known before, that I never could've imagined for myself. And I'm grateful that I...
    Heartbeatangel Heartbeatangel 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I have been feeling this increasing uneasiness. I don't know whether it's anxiety over nothing, or that I'm feeling more and more hopeless. I'm so tired and more often apathetic...
    danielle1423 danielle1423 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    I used to be so outgoing and full of energy. Now I just stay at home, worrying about disappointing or upsetting my husband. I have tried to leave so many times but I don't trust...
    squirrelbounce squirrelbounce 36-40, F 3 Responses Jul 9

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    Being a mom is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I love my children with all my heart and wouldn't trade them for the world. But being in an unhappy marriage has made me...
    ABlueChristine ABlueChristine 41-45, F 2 Responses Jun 29

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    Sometimes in the midst of a pleasant situation I'll find myself staring off feeling like I could be more open or more happy but I'm sitting here apathetic feeling like id be more...
    danielle1423 danielle1423 22-25, F Jul 10

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    I once met someone, I fell in love with this someone. We were fighting to be together off and on for about three and a half years. At the end, I told him I was done, that I didn't...
    saatansnipples saatansnipples 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Pixies at Glastonbury, Where is my mind? A bloody good question. And song.
    monkwit monkwit 41-45, M Jun 29

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    They tell us that suicide is the greatest piece of cowardice... that suicide is wrong; when it is quite obvious that there is nothing in the world to which every man has a more...
    kaaligirl kaaligirl 16-17, F Jul 5

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    Jealousy!! It's taken over my relationship! I feel like I'm in a glass box watching my relationship fall apart and I can't do anything about it!!
    zoefx zoefx 22-25, F Jul 5

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    Yep - in a hopeless funk - - but coffee & humor saved the day - - -
    Ironicman Ironicman 56-60, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    I'm one really f-ed up person. I'm such a monster. I don't know what's wrong with me sometimes. I manipulate people so badly. The ones that actually have liked me. I manipulate it...
    Sometimesilence Sometimesilence 18-21, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    Well I was lost my whole life because my childhood wasn't normal but on the beginning of this year at age 16 I've tried my best to find myself and I did now I'm most 17 and I can't...
    freedom16 freedom16 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

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    I get angry at people too easily. I hate that I never stood up to the bullies and it's too late now as they are gone. They needed to learn their lesson but I was a coward so I...
    pikachuux pikachuux 18-21, F 1 hr ago

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    I've always found happiness through other people. I've relied on past boyfriends to make me smile, feel comfortable, and feel like I have worth. When I felt special to someone it...
    GabbyCot GabbyCot 18-21, F 1 Response 5 hrs ago

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    I used to be isolated, even with a nice group of friends but I never liked it. I decided I would be a loner again and it worked! I actually missed being alone and now I am free to...
    WolvesSong WolvesSong 13-15, F 4 hrs ago

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    I just cant stop thinking about it. I loathe almost every aspect that my life has given me. Grown up poor, with a mother who never cared for my education... So now Im what many...
    CaraLina CaraLina 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 17

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    Despite my friendly and nice guy image I show to people, I have always kept myself private that is why I'm actually misunderstood as an outgoing person. I'm actually shy and I don...
    luigigreene luigigreene 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    She still doesn't care. Nor does he. I don't know why I spend so many tears of sorrow on them. I just can't seem to stop. No matter how hard I try to push away the memories, they...
    bornand4gotten bornand4gotten 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    today is July 23rd 2014. The last time I seen my son was in the winter of 2009. Here is my story... I was 21 years old and about to give birth in a months time. My son's father and...
    Kristin727 Kristin727 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    I've been stressed out for months. Things have been snowballing as of recently. I thought that things would get better, once we moved from one bad situation, into a better one, but...
    kodomonotsuki kodomonotsuki 36-40, F Jun 30

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    Funny thing is , I'll hurt more if I let go than if I stay . That a sign that I'm not ready to give up ? I'm hurting myself being in love. He's my heart. Can anyone describe it...
    AliForever AliForever 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    This is one of those days where I feel I can't go on anymore. It's been over a year since my best friend has died. We met on the bus in Las Vegas in 2000. He invited me to his...
    ninathecat ninathecat 31-35 7 Responses Jul 11

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    I'm pissed at my self no one else.I am a big failure in life.I cant even accomplish half of the goals i set for my self,and i only had 3. I have missed my finale dead line .I look...
    prankqueen prankqueen 13-15, F Jul 11

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    I lost my virginity to rape when I was 19. I was on break at work when he pushed me against the wall. I told him no several times but he still untucked my work shirt and slammed...
    Daddysdirtyslave Daddysdirtyslave 18-21, F 12 Responses Jul 18

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    I lost her... Again. The first time she left was back in October I think because me and her boyfriend had started talking and became like brother and sister. She left and I cried...
    talia13 talia13 16-17, F Jul 7

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    So I'm on the road AGAIN to losing weight. Always tell myself that it's better to do something than nothing at all. So in two weeks lost 7lbs. My husband was really supportive but...
    helensave helensave 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 11

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    I'm so sad, I have lost alot of friends... It's not only I have lost them but I have lost respecting them, it sadden me, that when you think that they won't hurt you I mean we all...
    catxfreak catxfreak 18-21, F Jul 12

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    Life has no definites... We are given countless opportunities and choices... Each one with untold bounty or dangers... And as I tread through this tricky maze, I can't but feel...
    Arr762 Arr762 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 29

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    1. I am 16 will be 17 in 11 days 2. I am five foot three 3. I am the oldest in my family 4. I have two younger siblings 5. I have one brother and one sister 6. My parents are...
    blahlahblah599 blahlahblah599 16-17, F Jun 30

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    I've lost sight of potential. Potential in myself, potential in others, and potential in my ideals. I feel like I have rationalized everything up to this point. Rationalizing that...
    xlux xlux 26-30, M Jul 11

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    My life has spiralled out of control since leaving foster care when I turned 18. I'll be 20 in a few months. I have a distant relationship with my mom and little sisters because of...
    MistaCanada MistaCanada 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 17

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