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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 141 People

    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    lovelywarpedlemon lovelywarpedlemon 22-25, F Apr 18

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    When you so alone like this sometimes o believe

    that suicide is the right answer
    kaitlynmarchinkoski kaitlynmarchinkoski 13-15, F Jul 14

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24, 2014

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2014

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F May 27, 2014

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    I am passing out of high school this year.

    I'll be in college soon. I'm sure my grades won't be that great for I'm not the same me now. Since my very childhood I have been very responsible to my duties. My father is going through a mental disease, schizophrenia. My mother got to really know about it after their marriage...
    25mayni97 25mayni97 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    Related Experiences

    I lost my aunt to cancer 9 months ago. It still feels the same as the first day I lost her. She was my second mother. She was in the delivery room with my parents. She held me...
    papayalover24 papayalover24 26-30, F 3 Responses 23 hrs ago

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    I am unsatisfied, restless, and constantly feeling uneasy. This is all after my ex and I broke up. I don't feel like myself, and want to get back on track, but I am not sure how.
    brentlz brentlz 16-17, M 2 days ago

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    So I have this friend named Edward, whom I met here on EP. I really cared about him, still do, but we hadn't talked in a while. I was surfing Google images out of boredom when I...
    Nexhon Nexhon 13-15, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I searched through experiences and I think this makes the most sense to me though my parents are alive. My mom and dad did horrific things to me and I can't express the suffering...
    honestlyanonymouslyme honestlyanonymouslyme 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    this is a true experience, and just for note I don't like peeing myself at all. I don't mind desperation in private, but I don't like it in public or find it fun at all. This for...
    kgirl17 kgirl17 18-21 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I feel so lost right now. My marriage blew up, and I'm pregnant with our second child, battling depression, and I've made mistakes as much as my husband... I cheated on him with 3...
    Starkizzed21 Starkizzed21 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    Some time ago I promised myself I wouldn't cut myself with a knife anymore. Last night I broke that promise. According to my promise this means I have a problem with cutting. I...
    jsualmtha jsualmtha 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Back when I was in my previous relationship say 2 years ago I had all the faith in the world. My life was horrible. I didn't want to live. I held God close to my heart. Deepest...
    Butterflykiss707 Butterflykiss707 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    I've been in college for 5 years. I've been in and out of different career paths along the way and last year, I told myself I would go to a university and just do what I felt would...
    breezeee12 breezeee12 22-25, F 5 days ago

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    i don't really know how to start this out, so I'm going to jump right into it. When you were little there was nothing you care about, you'd dance around and not care if people...
    silverelephant silverelephant 13-15, F 5 days ago

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    do you feel lost don't know what to say how to behave is this recreating or is this how we break maybe this turn of fate will take away the storm of emotions wandering and...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    So I am 5 months pregnant and have left the father, my off and on boyfriend of 3 years, because he has an anger problem yet blames it on everyone else and refuses to accept...
    1luckynebula 1luckynebula 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

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    I feel so lost and empty.. Sometimes I wish I was dead but then I think don't be so stupid why should I sacrifice my own life because I was treated badly? I don't even know who I...
    Victoriaa95 Victoriaa95 18-21, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Losing weight is praised and even encouraged in our society. However, I've lost so much this summer that half of my wardrobe doesn't fit me anymore. I lost a total of 40 plus...
    SeanaO SeanaO 22-25, F 18 Responses a week ago

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    Someone said there are 2 types of people in the world. Those who are lost and do not deny it, and those who are lost but deny it to themselves and everyone else His point was that...
    frankiegee frankiegee 46-50, M Aug 19

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    reflecting a color only i can see greeted by monsters of my insecurities sleep..escape to another galaxy dream are monsters snatching away my sanity light some candles in...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 19

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    I've lost my mum and my nan to cancer. I've also lost my grandparents and my great aunt but it wasn't to cancer. I've lost lots of people and it's sad and I'm so lonely. I didn't...
    turkishgirl98 turkishgirl98 16-17, F 5 Responses Aug 19

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    Even though i am older and wiser than my former virgin self, i ended up losing my virginity to a guy that I can't stop liking. I feel hate and like for him. I think about him all...
    Janmel Janmel 26-30, F Aug 19

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    I have lost my direction in life. There are things that I want to accomplish, but I have no motivation to do so.
    jaynepayne jaynepayne 31-35, F Aug 18

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    a gift wrapped... drifted in my way life's unknown mysteries so i picked it up felt it and gave it a name i didn't knew.. but now i know wanted to say no...when my lips...
    anotherclone anotherclone 26-30, M Aug 17

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    Recently lost our 16 week old twins. Thursday we lost Gil and Friday we lost Eli. I'm devastated.
    CertainUncertainty CertainUncertainty 31-35, F 4 Responses Aug 17

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