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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 131 People

    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 1 Response May 7, 2014

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F May 27, 2014

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24, 2014

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    I lost myself. All my hopes and dreams went down the toilet long ago. I was once thin and beautiful but didn't think so. Therefor I gave up on everything. Now I am ugly and fat I...
    dragthewaters4 dragthewaters4 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 6

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    I was here, then I wasn't. Now I am back with a few more ingredients to ad to my lonesome recipe. Today she told me she no longer see's me as her rock... Her man. That she...
    OldNRusty OldNRusty 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 12

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    I feel like I am self destructing my own life. Need someone to talk to
    M1362 M1362 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 17

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    I have no drive. I'm currently studying for my exams and I dont want to study. Its been like this all year, my marks are pretty bad. I wasnt always like this. I dont know whats...
    mj985 mj985 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Wish I was a different me. A better, happier, smarter, positive, stronger me! Why can't we rewind in real life? Why can't we save ourselves in time? Why do we have to learn after...
    LizC815 LizC815 22-25, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    The life is all about that, right? Being at least a step further now as you was yesterday. Improving yourself by sensing, experiencing and doing things you've never done before...
    rolandback rolandback 41-45, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    Before I begin positing about my experiences, I'd like the world to know where I am at and where I have been. After my father passed away in 1994 (I was 2 and my sister turned 1...
    SamRoberts3 SamRoberts3 22-25, M Jan 14

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    I've lost a usb before. I've lost an essay before when I was in middle of writing it. I've even lost diamonds in minecraft because I died in lava. These kind of "small" losses...
    dorichips dorichips 16-17, F Jan 5

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    My experience started the end of summer starting my sophomore year. My family moved as we just lost our house. The house my parents rented had a guy living next door that was a bit...
    princesskimber princesskimber 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 18

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    I hated how I say to people that Im proud of myself and I loved it. I hated how **** I am. I hated how I can be so confident. I hated how I interact with others. I hated how I feel...
    shishishosho97 shishishosho97 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    We laughed, cried, smiled, played, fought together. He was my sunshine. He made me happy he showed me a new kind of love. A love that I never experienced. It has been a few months...
    Miriam212 Miriam212 16-17, F Jan 2

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    there comes a time you have to admit you are wrong. That time came for me recently. As far as I can tell, I screwed up. Royally. I said things that I cannot take back. Did things...
    AceWarbringer AceWarbringer 31-35, M 8 hrs ago

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    I know that my sense of humor is odd at times so I keep a lot of comments to myself. But if people could hear what is rolling around in my brain they would either laugh with me or...
    jfar123 jfar123 41-45, M 1 Response 7 hrs ago

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    I lost my dog Frankie, on Wednesday the 31st. It was horrible. We went to the park like always and when we got back into the car Frankie was not right. He was looking out the...
    MrsBlue MrsBlue 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    My sister took her life 5 mos ago. I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 9

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    The core of this achievement lies in that ah-ha moment. I was a chubby child but never obese. I was thin throughout most of my adult life, but graduate school, having a child...
    moonchild0315 moonchild0315 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 10

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    I'm a couple months away from turning 30 and it's something I've been dreading for some time. I was always told that gay life ends at 30 and if you're still single it's pretty much...
    gfhq2002 gfhq2002 26-30, M 15 hrs ago

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    Ok there's alot I'm feeling so I'm just typing what I'm thinking. Not in any order... Ok so I hate being told what to do. And I feel all my life that's all anyone ever does. I...
    LizC815 LizC815 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    I miss my mum everyday! It's been 3 years going on 4 since she left. I'm still not over it. Everytime I play a memory of her in my head, I'll daze off then cry. When she passed...
    moonela moonela 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 11

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    I can't remember the six first years of my life but they were the happiest years i've had for sure.I lived my life thinking that i had everything,that i was the luckiest person on...
    Rockzanne Rockzanne 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 13

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    I lost my virginity on Halloween, and since then I've been on a downward spiral. I had drank before then, but only had been drunk once. Since I lost my virginity, I broke up with...
    Theend1000 Theend1000 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    I lost both my mom and dad within two years of each other in the past 5 years. I am an only, and I had to do everything. no will, etc. all was unexpected. I was a premature so...
    prashworth1953 prashworth1953 61-65, F Dec 31, 2014

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    I started out this year 2015 feeling so utterly lost.....not a good feeling to have at the start of a brand new year. My life feels like a train wreck. Last year was a very...
    ConfessionsOfALostGurl ConfessionsOfALostGurl 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 1

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    Make It Deep Lock my wrists against the headboard, Interlace our fingers on my pillow, Nibble my earlobe and whisper, As my toes curl... POW! You've caught me in a trance, Lost...
    DiamondPrincess89 DiamondPrincess89 22-25, F Jan 6

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    I was in love once. Actually twice. And I lost both of them. In different ways. The first was when I was 19. Even though I was young, it was not typical teen puppy love. Nor was...
    ManinNY ManinNY 41-45, M Jan 13

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    I lost the prerogative to complain about my pain , the injustice done to me , I became just like anyone else who hurt and cheat people , I became as cruel as anyone else was . I...
    anasteel2 anasteel2 41-45, F Jan 20

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    i was pretty close to my mom. i mean, she was everything to me. she was the only person that understands me truly. the only person that listened. the only person that gets me. the...
    flxwrs flxwrs 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    so here we are - 2015!!! a whole new year to mess up, lol :) I hope this one is good to me, and that I am successful at improving myself. I have really lived a very long life - I...
    milehighHeartbreak milehighHeartbreak 31-35, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    I hate being strong when I know I'm weak...but I act that way so ppl don't look at me with pity I hate being beautiful when I feel ugly, i put on makeup and dress to impress, but...
    boxgirl1987 boxgirl1987 26-30, F Jan 4

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