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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 135 People

    lovelywarpedlemon lovelywarpedlemon 18-21, F Apr 18

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    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10, 2014

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Mar 30, 2014

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    I am passing out of high school this year.

    I'll be in college soon. I'm sure my grades won't be that great for I'm not the same me now. Since my very childhood I have been very responsible to my duties. My father is going through a mental disease, schizophrenia. My mother got to really know about it after their marriage...
    25mayni97 25mayni97 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 10

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F 1 Response May 7, 2014

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24, 2014

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 18-21, F May 27, 2014

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    Related Experiences

    i feel like highschool has just ****** me up.before it i was more energetic,more willing to have fun and was rebel.i was much more happier and i was not so anxious like now.now i'm...
    forkinyoureye forkinyoureye 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Have you ever met someone who is funny, kind, gentle and soft hearted? Have you realized you've fallen for them, almost completely? I have and now I feel its too late to turn back...
    CazieM CazieM 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    I am freaking out, I am witnessing how I lose myself So this week it was my first time going to college. I expected it to go terribly, with me wanting to escape and feel...
    AZChomp644 AZChomp644 18-21, M 1 day ago

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    I feel like my entire life has just been a struggle. Im too chicken **** to kill myself but i pray every night to die in my sleep. Im tired of living, im exhausted. I cant do this...
    niellyn niellyn 22-25 1 Response Mar 31

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    It's the day before my court. And I am preparing and getting ready for my court trial tomorrow morning. I had to hitch hike to wiky this afternoon. Rode in the back of a truck. Got...
    Brandon15shawana Brandon15shawana 16-17, M Mar 28

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    I sometimes wonder what people don't like about me. How some hate me even. What did I do? Why can't I be your friend? We may like the same things...
    chantie95xo chantie95xo 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 5

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    My life looks like going smoothly, like everything is ok, but the truth is not. I smile so big that no one would questioned if I am happy with my life. But the truth is. My...
    myleslus myleslus 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    I miss my dad. Today I truly miss him. For the first time since his death in 1992, I am grieving for his loss. When he died, I didn't only lose him, I also lost myself. There's a...
    SapphireSol SapphireSol 31-35, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Ever since I was bullied at primary, I've lost myself. I wrote a list about myself and they were actually nice but deep down I still dislike myself for some reason. I've tried to...
    Myalee Myalee 41-45, F Mar 28

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    In the moment. In that moment. I was not myself - the one I always have been, no more. A promise made, broken. I made the right choice, and it's haunting me. The thoughts, the...
    LuluMoualla LuluMoualla 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I lost myself to suicide ...
    pansexualgirl pansexualgirl 13-15, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    How do I find myself again? My head is in the clouds. I don't know what I am meant to do and I don't know what I want anymore. I am confused with what my purpose is or whether I...
    Mela22 Mela22 22-25, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I don't know what I want to do with my life, i have no clue where to start either, it feels kind of like everything i ever felt before has been wiped out and as much as i try to...
    lostinthisworld45 lostinthisworld45 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 17

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    Sometimes I get lost… Waking up… I find myself Caught in a morning dream… Yes, wide awake, yet still I am off someplace far from here Restless in an empty bed.. I just can...
    nocool nocool 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 18

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    Continuing the Ex Saga: I no longer crave your response, wait on you, yearn for you, or overthink who talks to whom first. If I have something to share with you that would...
    eshgheman9 eshgheman9 18-21, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

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    In 2013, I I went down to 190 or 191 don't remember and I was so close to being 189. But last year when my closest friend passed away I was very depressed, grieve and angry a lot...
    ArtLover24 ArtLover24 22-25, F 3 days ago

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    Life has so many twists and turns, for the life of me I don't know where to go or what to do. I am struggling with my faith in God, my belief that my life is on the right path, the...
    followthewhiterabbit followthewhiterabbit 22-25, F 20 hrs ago

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    Im about to talk it out.. i need to dump all of this off my shoulders.. im sorry if its rambling at long.. I don't actually expect anyone to read.. but i need a place to put these...
    alienmom82 alienmom82 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    Growing up I was always a big girl. Having to use skorts in elementary, because I was afraid pants would not fit. I had to start wearing pants in middle school, and the good thing...
    BookWorm333 BookWorm333 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 6

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    I love you in ways I am not sure you will ever knowI just don’t have the words or understand any way to showSuch innocence I wash myselfAs I drift away lost in thoughts of...
    nocool nocool 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 18

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    I cant explain how i really feel... My mind so corrupt so mentally damaged.. . My heart broken....crying my soul is lost... That I can tell you how it really feels... Some days I...
    LeahLovee LeahLovee 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 27

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    I was sitting at the bar, speaking to my friend next to me about nothing in particular, just bar talk, when I felt a tapping on my shoulder. My first reaction was annoyance. Here I...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 5

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    I just don't think I can let it go. hence it was recent and she passed December 1st, 2014. but I don't like knowing that these days keep dragging on and soon nobody will really...
    amberbell1001 amberbell1001 13-15, F 6 Responses Apr 11

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