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I Lost Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 130 People

    The Not Me

    But damnit, I'm trying to find me again.Back there in the depths of my eating disorder and the pit of my depression...  I don't have any clue who I was. I kept some journal entries and poems during that time.  When I go back and read them, my throat starts to close up and my...
    fadingvioletdawn fadingvioletdawn 18-21, F May 9, 2012

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    I thought I knew who I was,

    energetic, athletic, whimsical, and just enjoyable. That's what I was all about that 3 months ago. Then bam. Depression came. I'm none of those, I'm antisocial, I barely utter a word or Show emotion everyday. Nothing makes me laugh or happy. I feel so NUMB.
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    Lately, I feel like I'm drowning.

    There isn't really a lot going on, it's just my inner demons trying to drag me into the darkness. I know I need help. I'm on meds, tried counselling.. this is something I need to face head on. I know all of the truths of my life, but these demons keep sowing negativity in all of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Mar 30

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    Where did she go? There

    once was a beautiful flower Blossomed so bright and vibrant Her fragrance filled the rooms of a tower, Nothing could stop her sprout She grew so tall, so proud Her leaves and petals were at it's finest until anunstoppable darkness grew so loud Her vibrancy hid from it...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F 1 Response May 7

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    Lost The Best

    I know, I'm not a normal girl. My best friend is a 6' 5" guy, named Ben. Seems normal..but he hasn't talked to me in 2 weeks.. He's everything to me.. Heres how I lost him.. He's always been so close to me.. We would talk everyday, and we'd share secrets, and he knew...
    Djarrett117 Djarrett117 16-17, F Jul 31, 2012

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    I Lost Everything...but Am Trying To Rebuild Myself.

    I am twenty four and at times I still feel lost. I have dealt with years of severe depression stemming from the death of my father over eight years ago. My life had a plan but after his death my world fell apart and I was never the same again. I attended a great high-school and I...
    medt medt 22-25 2 Responses Dec 26, 2010

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    I Found Me

    My 39th year and I am now, just finding me. I would not describe this time in my life as a mid-life crisis, but I am definitely experiencing mid-life awareness. I keep reminding myself that I am younger today than I ever will be again in my life. I turn 40 next summer. Over...
    Hollipop Hollipop 36-40 Oct 24, 2012

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    I Wanted To Be Better

    I recently forgot who I was, completely lost myself in what I thought was the right thing to do. I was so scared of hurting people, and I was so desperate for love, I stopped being who I am. I tried to be what I felt was right, I tried to change in ways that would help people. In...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    The Total Opposite

    I had everything in life. More than actually what one needs. Great loving family, Loads of friends, the school and course i wanted. I played sports. I was in dance. I sing. I love animals. I paint. I enjoyed every single bit in life. And just before all this was taken away from...
    Maya08 Maya08 18-21 Jan 6, 2013

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    I've broken down but I'm back.

    I haven't been on EP for a few months. I had a metal collapse and have only recently stopped retreating from everyone. I've missed this community. Reading your stories makes me feel strong and supported. To my friends who message me, I've missed you and cannot wait to catch up...
    tulsateacher tulsateacher 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    I Have To Get This Out...

    How long have I been kidding myself? What a tangled web I've weaved myself into. I woke her up to drive me to school just as I have every Tuesday morning since the fifth of January. She cusses me, yells at me, the yanks the covers off her in a fury, gets up and comes after me...
    charlottes1web charlottes1web 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 13, 2012

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    How I Lost Myself

    Everyone saw me as a good girl. I hated it! I should do no wrong, nor could I. I feel like if I made a mistake then I am a bad person. You have to be the role model and you have to do what is right even if you dont like it. I saw my self like that all the time. I could not...
    lostthoughts lostthoughts 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 14, 2010

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    wearefools wearefools 18-21, M Apr 24

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    Too May Emotions

              I think maybe it's because I'm extremely bipolar that when my mood changes are so fast I get confused..  I mean it's like "Oh, I'm happy." Then like ten seconds later "God you ******* **** I hope you choke on a ****!" I'm mean, then I'm nice. I'm not stable...
    TheRogueWolf TheRogueWolf 18-21, F 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    when i was 15, i started to really like girls.

    of all sorts. but i had a peculiarity: i liked depression. i was only mildly depressed, but i would seek out the depressed ones and do what i could. this leads to the second thing: it was all online, and i cheated. a lot. as in 20 girls who would exchange words of love and...
    Josephdalepi Josephdalepi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 10

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    Why are there so many weird people on here,

    im itSaying in great because I'm far from it but what's with the peopleSending weird ****? A while ago a guy asked me if I want to be his doggy, like what the hell people. This website if for people sharing things like what they are going through like hard times(like me) and...
    hopecatcher hopecatcher 16-17, F May 27

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    No Easy Way Out

    I am sat here up at an ungodly time of nite alone,unable to sleep..A mind full of thought and a heart full of pain,hurt and dread.....My partner of 8 years sleeps in the room next too me but his presence is not felt..I try to push aside the envatible but the pain is unbearable...
    kindredspiritalways kindredspiritalways 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 2, 2012

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    The Fall Of Pride

    Ok, so I did it. I signed up on one of these forums and am going to post a personal story. I never thought Id be the one to do it but I guess that is one small joy of life. The inevitability of seemingly random spontaneity . If you read this whole story, thank you in advance...
    JohnRain1988 JohnRain1988 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2013

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    Today I thought I found a friend......who knew everything I felt,she knew all my weaknessesand the problems that I have been dealtshe always understood my wondersand listened to my...
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    I dont know who I am anymore.
    SimplyEm SimplyEm 18-21, F 18 hrs ago

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    I want to be the unique and beautiful goddess I once was. Right now, I am ugly and undesirable. I loved myself last week and the week before, but something happened this week that...
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    I saw her for the first time, as she approached me. She smiled and I almost lost myself. Her presence is magic, her scent is magic. One glance and I was hers. "Take me.. steal me...
    A888888 A888888 26-30, F Oct 11

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    We all like to think were open minded,fair and don't judge other people.I'm at an age in my life were I thought I know who I am.Yet everyday, after every conversation I find...
    Isis33 Isis33 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    hi.. i am not sure what i am looking for or why i even came here but i guess i am just wanting to let all this out and maybe then i can start feeling better. i am 23 and my son...
    hayhan0891 hayhan0891 22-25, F Oct 16

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    I suffer from depression, I self harm almost every night now and I have a lot of suicidal thoughts. I get bullied for my appearance, skin colour and weight. My parents expect me to...
    IllBeGoneSoon IllBeGoneSoon 13-15, F 2 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    I've stayed at my sister's every night this week except this night. She went out to eat, and I'd just be sitting there doing nothing anyway. I ended up going to my niece's and...
    NastasyaFilippovna NastasyaFilippovna 22-25, F 8 hrs ago

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    Only its not my thoughts that are driving me to madness, its the words... the world is filled with these words.... being repeated in different voices, throughout my lifetime, and...
    flutterbyenight flutterbyenight 36-40, F 7 hrs ago

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    I had it, at least I did. Everything I have ever wanted, right in front of me. But I lost it in a matter of seconds. Months thrown away in a matter of seconds. I did not know what...
    Santi0924 Santi0924 18-21, M 8 hrs ago

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    My husband if 10 months left me. He is not happy with me , I'm controlling and don't like his friends. It's all my fault , it feels like I have done nothing right . I'm so lost , I...
    london1212 london1212 41-45, F 4 hrs ago

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    So here's me roughly 10 years ago. Artist, musician, technician, teacher, touring with my band part time, working on some kids books and short movie scripts. Owned my own business...
    platoflats platoflats 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 6

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    As I watch my dream car, the Audi R8, drive by I begin to automatically tell myself ill buy it one day. I snort as i think about it. Is that what i really want? I should apparently...
    TheKingWizard TheKingWizard 18-21, M 4 Responses Oct 12

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    I figure if I can't forgive myself why not look at things on the bright-side. I've lost a lot of weight now I have to buy new clothes. Shopping spree, yay! My mom's happy I've...
    SwanNual SwanNual 22-25, F Oct 19

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    I just lost my two and a half year old son to his father. His father works for the school district and my sons grandmother works for cps. Two years ago I broke up with my ex, I had...
    brokken4412 brokken4412 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I have lost 3 stone in 7 months and i am very proud of myself! I have always been a yo yo dieter but within the last 6 years of being in a long term relationship i found it hard to...
    OrangeLemons24 OrangeLemons24 22-25, F Oct 13

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    kept telling myself someone wants me someone cares. Appartently they do. But feel like im not worth it anymore cutting just takes the edge of. Im going down this path again. so...
    Kelloggz90 Kelloggz90 22-25, F 7 hrs ago

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    I am starting to believe in myself which is a difficult thing to do. This is what it is like....imagine that all your life you have been told a lie, that the sky isn't blue it's...
    00flyaway 00flyaway 41-45, F 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    How do I STAY motivated to workout? especially since its getting colder outside in the winter months. Is it crazy to try to eat healthy in the winter when everyone is trying to...
    beccaishere89 beccaishere89 22-25, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    I just get so caught up in my thoughts that I miss what's going on around me, and now I have no idea what I want to do with my life. I have two really good friends that mean the...
    Nineismyname Nineismyname 18-21, F Oct 2

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    So... Hi. This is my story. For the past three years, the man who was my fiancée and whom I have found to be my soulmate (do not be mean just because we might have been young...
    veryoldtree veryoldtree 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 6

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    I feel lost, sad, alone, confused, afraid. I feel like I may be being immature but I really just dont know what to do with myself. I feel like im being outcasted by everyone. Maybe...
    Camy60 Camy60 31-35 Oct 7

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    I feel lost, sad, alone, confused, afraid. I feel like I may be being immature but I really just dont know what to do with myself. I feel like im being outcasted by everyone. Maybe...
    Camy60 Camy60 31-35 Oct 7

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    I feel lost, sad, alone, confused, afraid. I feel like I may be being immature but I really just dont know what to do with myself. I feel like im being outcasted by everyone. Maybe...
    Camy60 Camy60 31-35 2 Responses Oct 7

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    Today October 8th. I lost my mom. I'm to young... I never thought this would happen. I thought she would see me make an accomplishment of myself. I'm broken. My chest hurts. I...
    Sometimesilence Sometimesilence 18-21, F 6 Responses Oct 9

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    I had a best friend who was the closest person to me in the world. We'd talk all the time, even when we weren't together, we'd text each other from "good morning" till "good night...
    xmasquirade xmasquirade 22-25, F Oct 20

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    I don't know why but for years I've felt so lonely with my life. I normally put on a facade when I am in public or around people I know. I always try to look happy and cheerful but...
    SaintJayV SaintJayV 18-21, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    I never thought that this time would come. 2 years ago I graduated from college. After few months I got an online job. I thought it would be just a temporary job while I was...
    nobodybutme97 nobodybutme97 22-25, M Oct 4

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    See not the colours of my heart, look past the grey and stone facade. I am but a casing for the rainbow within, shielded from the misery in which it once stood. Burnt gold and...
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 14

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    How can you love yourself when you don't feel good about yourself ? This is the question I ask myself, because when I think about it the answer is. I don't feel good about myself...
    Sara600 Sara600 56-60, F 1 Response Oct 14

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