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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,482 People

    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 17 Responses Jan 9

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    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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    My name is jessica I'm 27 I lost my mom to

    suicide may17 th 2009 I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide it called Julie's hope. I'm looking for other people that would under stand what I'm going through and to join me at my meetings I live in Garfield heights ohio message me or call me at...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    Ten years ago tonight.

    .. You followed me. Stalked me. Spied on me late at night while I was having a very quiet conversation with my best friend. You thought you heard me say I had cheated on you. I didn't say that, because I never did. Your mind convinced you that your suspicions weren't wrong, that...
    prettyprude prettyprude 31-35, F Aug 19

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    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife 36-40, F 7 Responses Mar 19, 2014

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    Hi. I am new to this,

    I have just posted about my normal home life & what I have been through with 5 babies under the age of 5, but I would love to tell you a story that happen just after my twins were born. I had been friends with this girl called Grace, I met her on a opening day at college a few...
    Florence1994 Florence1994 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    June 29th is always an emotional surprise.

    It was around 1pm and we were instant messaging on Facebook. Joking around as usual. We had no idea she was planning to do this for years. She said someone was at the door and she'd be right back. I didn't know she was already gone. The phone rang. My mother in law was crying...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 8 Responses Jun 24

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    A few weeks ago, my dad took his own life.

    I never thought I would lose one of the few people in my life that kept me going. My dad raised my siblings and I as a single father. It is true that at times he was not the greatest of people but he was still my father. It will never be the same without him in my life...
    SnowflakeWarrior SnowflakeWarrior 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 3

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    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    Mistakesmakeus Mistakesmakeus 18-21, M 20 Responses Jan 22

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    I hate myself! how I wish I was there

    when he needed me the most. why did you do it? we were just talking last Saturday. I had a feeling you did something wrong when you said "you're done" I wished I didn't went to sleep that night to keep you away from those bad thoughts. I can't still believe that you took your...
    khrystyn khrystyn 31-35, F 2 Responses Jul 20

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    Well , November 6th, 2014 ,

    my boyfriend at the age of 20 took his life. I feel so responsible . We were already not on good terms and we talked it out prior to that moment , but then I became enraged with his actions shortly after our talk which put us on irregular terms once again. As we traveled by car...
    KiNieeBee KiNieeBee 22-25, F 8 Responses Jul 27

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    June 28th At least something different has

    occurred on this date to remember other than Bob putting his shotgun to his chest for me to find. Every June 28th, since 1990, has been a day of ghostly haunting challenges. All survivor's of a loved one's death recall the death. It's the memory which is haunting. Yes, something...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 16 Responses Jul 15, 2008

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    1 yr ago april 7 2014 my father committed

    suicide. i had known him but was not raised by him. i decided it was time to get to know him and for him to know my children we communicated on the phone 3 way with my brother and we emailed eachother often. i only had 2 yrs to get to know him.. he had colon and stomach cancer...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 12

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    hello 9 years ago i lost my stepfather to

    suicide, he burned himself in his car to death and i still don't know the whole true. he was my stepfather only in name he was more like a friend because we were close in age (he was 7 years older) i got along got with him and we would often talk or cuddle. most time we spoke...
    sundina sundina 26-30, F Jul 10

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    11 years ago, you smiled at me.

    You loved me. You trusted me. You were my secret. I was yours. I never expected your father to suspect. I never expected him to follow us. I never expected that would be the last day, I gazed into your eyes. I never expected that would be last day, I smelled your hair. The...
    Maelia816 Maelia816 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 24

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    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 27, 2013

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    I lost my boyfriend in 9th grade.

    It's been 4 years since it happened and I'm still not over it. He was really special to me. We both suffered from severe depression, and I still struggle with it today, and he understood me and we just clicked. Idk, 14 may be too young for someone to find "the one", but I really...
    babym00n5 babym00n5 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 8

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    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16, 2014

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    My girlfriend committed suicide in the school

    storage room 2 years ago. Everyone was crying and were upset but for some reason I didnt feel anything, when I found out I didn't know how to respond to it. People at my school thought something was wrong with me because I didn't cry and I acted like my usual self. I said that...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Aug 21

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 14, 2012

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    3 years ago I lost my brother to suicide.

    ..and I swear it seems to never get easier to deal with...R.I.P Josh..until we meet again...love u
    gabrielle04 gabrielle04 26-30, F 10 Responses Apr 29

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    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 46 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    My younger sister committed suicide on May 11,

    2015. I need to say that she was an alcoholic/addict and I am an alcoholic/addict that has been in recovery for a few years now. I yelled, screamed, fought, pleaded, cried, spoke softly, had normal conversations, approached her anyway possible trying to get her sober. Finally...
    rwgh79 rwgh79 31-35, M 4 Responses Aug 1

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    It's been 2 years now,

    but he's always on my thoughts. I lost a good friend and mentor, he helped me learn the tricks of the trade and always seemed to be in a good mood. Sadly I wasn't able to see him in his last few months and it came out of the blue when I heard he killed himself. He never seemed...
    theunkownguy theunkownguy 18-21, M Aug 12

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    I lost my close and only friend.

    ... She was bipolar and depressed...her ex bf had been telling her a lot of crap... Then they got together and everything was looking bright. But one day..she wanted to commit suicide and I told her that there are people who are going thru so much worse....I wish I didn't said...
    SweetButPainfulRose SweetButPainfulRose 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 3

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    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    here it is. Today. 6 years gone.

    We love and miss you more than you know. You're really missing out. Your precious girl is so much like you and growing up without her mom. I choose life. I choose to ignore the psycho on this site who had the nerve to blame me for your decision. I choose to honor your memory by...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 8 Responses Jun 29

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    When i was in 7th grade i lost my best friend

    that i had a crush on for years to suicide. The day before he did it i had a dream he killed himself i could have stopped it but i was fishing i knew something was wrong i wanted to go home but we didnt i found out a couple days later and cried for hours
    peblz15 peblz15 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

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    So recently someone else I knew committed

    suicide. Two people in one summer. Everyone loved her. It's scary. I know it's irrational, but sometimes I think it's me. I could've been more helpful, been there more, done something somehow to stop this, maybe it was because of me. Humans are odd creatures
    Wowzersgeewilly Wowzersgeewilly 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 21

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    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 12 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    I lost almost all my family

    and friends to suicide. The ones that didn't kill themselves either went to jail or simply disappeared. The worst part was they all killed themselves at around the same time. It happened in like, a bundle.The first death one month. Then a couple killed themselves after they...
    Antonixia Antonixia 13-15, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    My older brother Chad <3 He was 33

    when he took his life. back in 2012. doesn't seem that long ago. I miss him terribly.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Aug 25

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 14 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    I was 18 and quit tech school

    and my job to run away with my friends in my car to a month long festival in the Ocala forest. I met a guy my first night there he was mixed with bright blue eyes. We kept locking eyes, he played the guitar and had a dog that he loved the whole festival. His eyes pulled me in...
    Worleybirdie Worleybirdie 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    there was a time in my life

    that i felt surrounded by death, every where i turned it seemed that death was coming for ever one and every thing that i loved. in a short span of seven years i lost four very good friends to suicide and two good people i wish i could have known better, i often think of these...
    bobbymcyaha bobbymcyaha 26-30, M 2 Responses Aug 6

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    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

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    I lost my dad last year he suffered from alcohol

    and depression and his life finally got to hard he was in care but the let him go through wrong decision and he took his own life I put every second of every day to try to help him get better but the one chance he had he left me and its so horrible wish I could have done more
    ekins09 ekins09 26-30, M 3 Responses Aug 7

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    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa