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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,515 People

    My best friend killed himself 3 weeks

    and 5 days ago. I don't really believe it. I know it's true but for the past three weeks I've thought, "this hurts so much. I need to call Eric to talk to him about it" and "if I call Eric right now, he'll answer. He always answers." Today's one of the bad days. I miss him so...
    ames14 ames14
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 5

    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace
    26-30, M
    43 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform
    31-35, F
    71 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    My older brother Chad <3 He was 33

    when he took his life. back in 2012. doesn't seem that long ago. I miss him terribly.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Aug 25, 2015

    Its the beginning of four years.

    It was my fiance. Due to my experience I have been pretty guarded and reclusive. I feel really rejected, and I feel like I lost friends because of what happened. I felt like I had a scarlet letter on me, I could feel people in the know look at me different and whisper. One girl...
    brokensomeone brokensomeone
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Apr 7

    This week has been a struggle

    for me, this time of year has always been a struggle for me for the past 6 years now. I'm probably going to ramble so I will apologize now, but it will be 6 years ago on Monday the 8th since I lost a very dear friend to suicide. She was the happiest, most carefree person I have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Feb 5

    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium
    36-40, M
    Sep 2, 2014

    Grief is a funny thing.

    It sneaks up on you, quietly, stealthily, then mugs you of your belongings in a dark alleyway. Sometimes you can feel it coming, sometimes you don't. It comes in stages, like unwrapping a present from your grandmother you know you'll want to return, but instead you'll wear it...
    PaigeLawley PaigeLawley
    16-17, F
    7 Responses Feb 3

    It's been over a year

    now since he, my uncle, died and I find myself thinking about him a lot. We didn't see much of one another while he was alive, but in my last few years of high school he forced himself to come to family gatherings and Christmas even though he hated how obligatory, superficial...
    ProcessOfBecoming ProcessOfBecoming
    18-21, T
    5 Responses Feb 8

    After my best friend David overdosed his cousin

    and my friend who was like a brother to me committed suicide on October 20 on David's birthday. David was the only blood relative he had that still stood by his side every one else had disowned him. After David's death Mikey wasn't the same he came to visit me a week before it...
    brenda4696 brenda4696
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 6

    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Mar 19, 2014

    I lost more than 20 people to suicide.

    Saying "more than" makes me even more upset, because 20 is a large enough number alone. I can't take another suicide.. Please talk to me?
    QueenxChance QueenxChance
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 12

    My armor is tested. It is hardened.

    Impenetrable some may say. Cold others will accuse. Unnecessary one might add. But, inside this armor is where I collapsed. It is where I lie on the floor. Where I experience the loss of you, my brother, behind the walls of my fortress. Inside this armor is where I will...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Nov 11, 2015

    This weekend I found out

    that in Mid-October, 2013 a woman I knew from my neighborhood when we were kids shot herself. I hadn't spoken to her since probably shortly after we were in high school. We went to the same high school and I used to give her a ride in the morning and take her home most...
    CreelUnion CreelUnion
    51-55, M
    6 Responses Mar 28

    well.... tonight one of Ashley's friends

    who knew her in real life messaged me saying that Ashley had committed suicide..... i had talked her out of it once before in the past, but i guess that wasn't enough..... she took her life on January 21st...... even though i didn't know much about her, i really wish i would've...
    randomgirl42 randomgirl42
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jan 31

    Grief by dictionary definition: is a

    multifaceted response to loss, particularly to the loss of someone or something that has died, to which a bond or affection was formed. Although conventionally focused on the emotional response to loss, it also has physical, cognitive, behavioral, social, spiritual, and...
    Madteapotsbro Madteapotsbro
    26-30, F
    Mar 7

    it's been 3 and a half years

    and i still think about him all the time. sometimes i will hear a new song or watch a new movie and know he would have liked it, wish he could see it. sometimes he's in my dreams and i try my hardest to keep remembering that dream when i wake, just to hold on to being with him...
    strs248 strs248
    26-30, F
    4 Responses Feb 12

    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

    My brother committed suicide

    after our Mother had passed away due to an operation. It was a double whammy for my Father who had just got out of hospital himself after seriously injuring his head after a motorcycle accident. I'm now the only adopted child remaining as our sister also died in a car crash...
    whoopfooboonomnom whoopfooboonomnom
    18-21
    Feb 10

    Exactly one week ago.

    The wound is still open and bleeding. Miss you incredibly my angel, what have you done.. Hope you feel better now, wherever you are :-) may your soul rest in peace and may god have mercy on mine.
    russianangel russianangel
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 14, 2015

    My poor husband is suffering,

    his sister committed suicide and his father had a major stroke when they found out and died also!!! We had been in Florida for 2 weeks burrying them both R.I.P.!!!!!
    JennyTom JennyTom
    41-45, F
    6 Responses Apr 3

    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate
    18-21, M
    12 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    EVERY time I see someone post a question

    or an experience about looking for ways to kill themselves, I ALWAYS post the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline number. 1-800-273-8255. Who knows? Maybe it's hopeless, but maybe I'm going to save someone's life. I've been to a point where I attempted it before, and I just...
    Boulier Boulier
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 8, 2015

    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject
    31-35, F
    7 Responses Jun 5, 2013

    I didn't even know my ex boyfriend was

    struggling so much with his demons and drugs :/ now he is gone and I didn't even get to tell him I still love him :(
    dqtxeb25 dqtxeb25
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 8

    When I was around thirteen,

    I watched my biological mother try to kill herself, and being the only one with her at the time had to call another adult to come help get her to a hospital. Luckily she survived. When I was fifteen, I remember my Nona telling me one of her classmates had killed himself at the...
    ToughLoveKitten ToughLoveKitten
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 26

    On November 2nd, 2015,

    my world started to crumble apart. I received a call that my best friend had committed suicide. It was a complete shock she would do such a thing. In the depression that followed, my wife announced she had filed for divorce because she had realized she had never actually loved...
    wildcard117 wildcard117
    31-35, M
    2 Responses Feb 7

    As far as I'm concerned anyone

    who commits suicide is my friend. Life is so hard, so torturous. I know exactly how they feel.
    QuestionMarks QuestionMarks
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 3

    here it is. Today. 6 years gone.

    We love and miss you more than you know. You're really missing out. Your precious girl is so much like you and growing up without her mom. I choose life. I choose to ignore the psycho on this site who had the nerve to blame me for your decision. I choose to honor your memory by...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself
    46-50, F
    8 Responses Jun 29, 2015

    Recently a friend of mine took his own life.

    So sad. He wasn't someone I saw very regularly anymore but whenever I did he always lifted my spirits. It is so sad he couldn't see a way forward for himself. Sadly his funeral is in another country at home but a good friend of his is arranging a memorial service and I shall...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Feb 6

    I just lost a friend to suicide.

    I'm broken I need to talk with someone
    russianangel russianangel
    18-21, F
    18 Responses Oct 11, 2015

    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi
    36-40, F
    13 Responses Jan 9, 2015

    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex
    18-21, F
    10 Responses Jul 11, 2014

    April 2nd 2015 At 10:20 pm I got a call from my

    sister Katie, she told me mom committed suicide. She shot her self in the head and at the time I thought it was a sick april fools day prank but I heard in her voice how real it was. I was at my boyfriends as we just got back from a spring break trip with his mother and he went...
    bethaneyj bethaneyj
    18-21, F
    11 Responses Feb 11

    I lost my dad to suicide.

    Up to an hour before the time he was joking and chatting with us and hour later he was hanging in the garage.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Mar 28

    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts
    22-25, F
    30 Responses Oct 1, 2009

    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 14, 2012

    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    Mistakesmakeus Mistakesmakeus
    18-21, M
    22 Responses Jan 22, 2015

    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss
    22-25, M
    7 Responses Oct 1, 2013

    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay
    22-25, F
    7 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    The main question is WHY!

    !!!! Why did she take her own life we never know and this makes it so much harder on my husbands family!!!!
    JennyTom JennyTom
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 3

    I feel like my experience with suicide may be a

    bit different from a lot of peoples and I've always been a little scared to talk about it. Long story short, I lost my ex boyfriend, who I thought was the love of my life, in a murder-suicide a little over a year and a half ago. He killed a girl and then himself... Its still...
    lvk80 lvk80
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Feb 7

    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge
    41-45, F
    31 Responses Jul 31, 2009

    i really want to commit suicide.

    i have 200 000$ gambling debt and the only person i care about just broke my heart and left me. I wonder if anyone has good experience with anti depressants. i really need it i have no chance without meds at this point. Let me know your experience with meds and how many...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 10

    What are they teaching us.

    .. Look at picture
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Apr 3

    My mother in law raped my brother in law

    when he was little! He was a mess on drugs and alcohol and finally committed suicide. I believe my husband was molested or raped too but has pushed the memories down! My brother in law told his father, and sister but they did not tell the mother until I confronted them after his...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 21

    June 29th is always an emotional surprise.

    It was around 1pm and we were instant messaging on Facebook. Joking around as usual. We had no idea she was planning to do this for years. She said someone was at the door and she'd be right back. I didn't know she was already gone. The phone rang. My mother in law was crying...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself
    46-50, F
    3 Responses Jun 24, 2015

    more then someone a large faction of my

    organization which was about 35 members in a years timespan and i attended all of their funerals some me being the pallbearer. it became so many that i had become accustiomed to the weight of caskets and the coldness of their handles. i dont even cry anymore not because i dont...
    SladeBolinLeaderofEp SladeBolinLeaderofEp
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 8

    Two years ago. My sisters boyfriend.

    PleSe no one commit suicide. It's so painful to the loved ones.
    Flowerpower5678 Flowerpower5678
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 14

    I am only 18. Just turned 18 in fact.

    In two years I have lost four friends to suicide and my half brother. My best friend was only 16 and I was 17. I don't understand why she did it. Last week I lost two friends in a period of three days to suicide. It seems like everybody is taking the easy way out. Why would they...
    JamieAdams1997 JamieAdams1997
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 12

    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato
    51-55, M
    4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

    A year ago, my wonderful

    and amazing friend killed himself. I miss him everyday.
    Oliviaa92 Oliviaa92
    41-45, F
    1 Response Feb 23

    I lost my little sister to suicide on May 23,

    2015. I miss her so much. I wish she was still here. My life is now broken into before she died and after. I hope she is no longer in pain and her boyfriend/partner finds peace.
    redmawbk redmawbk
    36-40, F
    7 Responses Sep 16, 2015

    3 years ago I lost my brother to suicide.

    ..and I swear it seems to never get easier to deal with...R.I.P Josh..until we meet again...love u
    gabrielle04 gabrielle04
    26-30, F
    7 Responses Apr 29, 2015

    I recently lost someone to suicide on Wednesday

    of last week. I was notified by my boyfriend that someone I knew committed suicide. I tried to save him.
    baybay2015 baybay2015
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 20

    I'm currently engaged

    and 6wks pregnant. As of a week ago, an ex of mine committed suicide. I've been having the hardest time accepting it. we didn't date very long, and hadn't talked for about 5 months, but he was a great guy and had never treated me less than I deserved. He told me he loved me...
    KimmyWhite920 KimmyWhite920
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 19
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