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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 3,322 People

    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 4 Responses Feb 27

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    RawrItsAmber RawrItsAmber 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Suicide is the last resource in life😭Think

    really hard about it before you take your life please, you will be missed.
    laura2000 laura2000 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 19

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    I have lost a few close people in my life; The

    first was my brother. Now, not technically ruled a suicide, my therapist calls it a certain type of suicide. My brother was abused growing up and he deal with the pain of this by becoming fearless and careless with his life. He was a risk taker and had a few close brushes with...
    dreshany dreshany 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    It's 24 years today and I remember it like it

    was yesterday. Some years it's easy, merely a note of what the day is, and some years I keep going over and over it in my head. Like realizing that if I didn't give in to giving that jerk a ride home my friend wouldn't have had the time to walk up to the college and hang himself...
    itskismet itskismet 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    My Friend Michael

    I was raised by my single mom in a poor area surrounded by other families headed by single mothers. This is where I met my friend Michael and his mother. Michael was sweet, shy, caring, playful, bright, energetic and creative. When I was 10 and he was 9 we often hung out together...
    gumshoejane2 gumshoejane2 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 15, 2012

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 6

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    CharlieKilo1 CharlieKilo1 46-50, M 2 Responses Apr 12

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    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 5 Responses Mar 3, 2007

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    Two Months Later..........

    Oddly enough in a way I feel free........... yet I am broken. This week will be two months since my husband chose to end his life. He is dead and I am lost. This realization has not been easy, every day I look at my younger son and I see his face. Everywhere I go I am reminded...
    bobbyswife30 bobbyswife30 26-30, F 11 Responses Sep 2, 2012

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    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    sambfh sambfh 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 32 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I lost my 18 year old son to suicide on

    September 09, 2012. IT has been a very emotional experience for me. I have my moments of sadness and then my moments of just good memories of him. He was such a life giving person who was skilled in music, instruments, and displayed such a love for the Lord. It was his senior...
    esanchez5195 esanchez5195 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 31

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    On October 19th 2012 I lost my boyfriend to

    suicide. After a long journey of trying to help with his ever deteriorating behaviour he took his life. I am still struggling to understand why and how he could do that to his loved ones but it's clear it's what he wanted. I was on that journey with him which no one would...
    Nats07 Nats07 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 3

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    Lost My Love

    On July 1, 2007 I got a call from the brother of a man that I loved and that I will always.  I asked him how he is doing and he said "not good."  I asked him what happened and he said "Peter killed himself."  I fell to my knees and screamed...
    madambttrfly madambttrfly 31-35, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2007

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 33 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    I lost my dad to suicide

    when I was 12...
    mariahann88 mariahann88 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    I can't believe it's been a year already

    since we lost you. I miss you so much Karynza. I love you to death. Today is not going to be easy.. You were beautiful and strong and inspiring.
    battlewounds battlewounds 18-21, F Apr 11

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    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

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    My last person to die was my god father.

    He killed himself last June, two weeks before his wedding. He killed himself due to pressure. He thought he was going to lose everything. He was too proud to be weak. He shot himself in the head. That was one of the hardest death I've had to deal with. He meant the world to me...
    cunyanbi28 cunyanbi28 18-21, F Mar 29

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    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    A New Year And An Unmended Heart

    Jesse. He has been my best friend since I was seven. Or I guess I should say 'had been'. It's my first New Years Eve without him. And its been exactly one year since I saw his gorgeous eyes, his friendly smile. No, he didn't commit suicide on New Years. But he did move six hours...
    SamIsGay SamIsGay 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2012

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    5 years ago a colleague of mine at work hung

    himself. I had worked with Joe for 4yrs up until the year before this, and we had become very close. He was there for me when my marriage fell through 3 weeks before we were due to tie the knot, and every Sunday we would end up in the same pub, in the same spot until the staff...
    Mick672 Mick672 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 10

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    It has almost been a year

    now since I got the news that my friend had commuted suicide, he was clinically depressed for a while, he went home from school on suicide watch but me and the rest of his friends thought nothing of it. Two weeks later we started to get concerned (the difficulty we had is we...
    projectgwyn101 projectgwyn101 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 6

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 18-21, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I Lost My Daughter And Best Friend

    My daughter committed suicide on Oct 3rd 2012. I miss her so much. I am so very alone and sad all the time.
    brkenhearted brkenhearted 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 24, 2013

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    It's over 2 years since my bestfriend killed

    herself. I can't get it out of my mind. I miss her so much, but she seems so distant. It feels like I don't know her anymore, and that is the worst part
    Amidala97 Amidala97 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 7

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    Jasper was his name. He was bi bolar.

    He had two different colored eyes. One was blue and the other green. I miss him. I love him. He was the only person I had for a while. He was there when I needed him but I was never there for him. He understood me and I never had to say anything. I was too shy to approach him...
    RainbowDalia RainbowDalia 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 15

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    My cousin jumped to his death a few days ago.

    I had no idea he was even depressed. He was only 30 years old. I haven't seen him in a year, but we grew up together and I still considered him to be very close. I wish I knew what he was going through. I feel like I could have helped, but now it's too late and there's nothing I...
    PsycheEros3704 PsycheEros3704 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Two of my friends committed suicide recently.

    Both were married and both had a child. The first time was a shock, but before I had the chance to get closure, I found my other friend dead at his house. I still can't get the image of his dead body out of my head and I had to inform his wife and I'll never forget her scream...
    MrMoJo13 MrMoJo13 31-35, M 4 Responses Jan 31

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    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 16-17, M 6 Responses Oct 27, 2013

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    I lost my brother at 33 years old a couple of

    weeks ago to suicide. His death certificate says March 24, 2014 but we aren't exactly sure of the exact date which kills me. They found him hanging in a tree a few miles behind his apartment in the woods. I can't get the visions out of my head & I miss him so much it makes me...
    aimj1979 aimj1979 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 15

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    My brother was 21 when he committed suicide.

    He hung himself in his house. Apparently you can tell when someone has regretted their decision before they die and they move their body, making the rope cut into their neck or something but the police said there was no struggle with my brother, he knew he wanted to die and didn...
    OverThinker123 OverThinker123 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 23

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    I lose my aunt to suicide about 7 months ago.

    She was a very happy person always laughing but when her fiancé cheated on her she went down into a deep depression and got back into drugs.When I found out what had happen when she committed suicide I went to her house she was in the hospital and her sister her lived with her...
    ashleyboo33 ashleyboo33 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I had a good friend in high school,

    we spent time together every day. I was the only one he would talk to when he was feeling bad. I was legitimately head over heels for him. I moved away and we lost touch, I still missed him all the time and was trying to contact him because he was still important to me. One...
    ksnaps ksnaps 22-25, F Apr 15

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    Religion Is Not Always The Answer

    I had been good friends with Amy since elementary school and we shared everything, that was until the day when her parents decided to change religion and embrace the Mormon (LDS) faith. From that day on everything changed. Our senior year in high school should have been one...
    WrathAngel WrathAngel 36-40, F 8 Responses Oct 19, 2011

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    My best friend had just agreed to be the maid

    of honor at my upcoming wedding. She came to Texas to spend the week with me, it was our game plan to help her get better. When she left, I thought she was ok. She was seeking help, and was very positive. Four days later, she hung herself. One of the last videos I have from that...
    GoldenGuinevere GoldenGuinevere 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 34 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    After losing such a close friend it has become

    more evident that the stigma that comes with someone being mentally ill needs to be removed. Depression, anxiety, panic attacks etc are NOT a sign of weakness. In fact, 1 in 4 people are dealing with a mental illness and many aren't seeking help because this stigma erodes any...
    kiara95 kiara95 18-21, F 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    She Left Way Too Early.

    Her name was Amanda, and she was the first girl I'd ever dated. Right after she left at the tender age of 17, I spent all my time wondering just why exactly did she choose to do what she did. On the most superficial of levels, she did seem to have a pretty good life. However...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 12, 2012

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    I've been feeling like I need to share this

    experience because I have been struggling with it occasionally since I have found out about it. This experience is because of a guy I encountered about two years ago shortly after my 21st birthday on April 8th. What he did has deeply impacted me on so many levels because of the...
    betweenlustandlove betweenlustandlove 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    My Hero Took His Life Today

    My oldest brother was someone i always idolized. So smart, so decisive. I thought that mentally and emotionally, he was the strongest most disiplined person I knew. Last week was the first i even knew that he was suffering a depressive epidode. He leaves behind two younger...
    bob237 bob237 41-45 3 Responses Oct 24, 2013

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    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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    Goodnight Baby Brother

    It will be a year ago on November 14 that I lost my little brother. I'll never know why and it haunts me everyday. I will never let go of the nagging feeling that I could have prevented it. Maybe if I had spent more time with him, maybe if I had opened up to him more, maybe if I...
    sincerelybritty sincerelybritty 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 3, 2013

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    Rip ste, today's your birthday.

    . The first birthday you've had without me being with you, though you're an amazing guy and you're in a better place now.. Happy birthday babe, i miss you lots!♡
    courtney734 courtney734 13-15, F Apr 5

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    Staci

    My friend, since third grade, Staci, would’ve been 19 years old today. I think about her every day. I still remember her smile, our inside jokes, I can trace my memories with her all the way back to third grade, the first day we met. We maintained a close friendship for nine...
    kalee19 kalee19 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    When I was in 4th grade,

    my dad and stepmom adopted a girl my age. It was honestly a horrible experience in the beginning. But as time went on, it got better and she looked up to me, and it wasn't bad. But last October, she committed suicide. She didn't leave a note, or even show signs of being suicidal...
    wizardofwhack wizardofwhack 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    Lost my mom to suicide November 22,

    2001; felt like god was punishing me for some strange reason ; cause I lost my step father December 23,2002 to TB ; but that's a whole different story !! ; well .. My day started as usual ... Went to school got in trouble and my mom sent me to my grandma house for thanksgiving...
    missingherdaily missingherdaily 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 22

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    Not yet, but I feel like they're really

    slipping. I have a suicidal friend. He's an internet friend I've had for about two and a half years now, and he has it hard in a few ways. The girls he gets are always... A bit loony and rather depressed themselves. He also has a son, but rarely gets to see the kid and he says...
    Naxxaras Naxxaras 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 28

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    uniqeuliv uniqeuliv 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 24

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    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife 36-40, F 7 Responses Mar 19

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    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 9 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    April 27th 2013, my best friend

    and unbiological brother Mark stepped onto the train tracks and killed himself. Flat out. No details, no nothing. I take almost full responsibility for him not having the strength to stay. I have suicide survivors guilt because I feel like I could've done something different...
    XrealityXisXprisonX XrealityXisXprisonX 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 15

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    I lost a friend that was

    as close as a brother to suicide. We had been friends since we were in cub scouts. We pretty much did anything and everything together. We had girlfriends at the same time. Double dated at the same time. You name it we did it. I even introduced him to his wife and mother of his...
    bluefireball4949 bluefireball4949 31-35, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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