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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,057 People

    Steve told me he told all of you Bob left me

    with $30,000.00. Do you think I would have struggled all these years with that kind of money? I would have bought a house for 30 Grand in 1990, that's the exact price of my two bedroom in Historic Sandy. I would have never worked with arthritic ankles and wrists had I not...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

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    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    Don't know how you can forgot those downs?

    I remember them. I'll still be in this mode most likely through the Fourth of July. Sometimes, if I go through it before June 28, like this year, I won't have to get through the July 4th depressed. I really don't think there's been a year I haven't remembered Bob's suicide date...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 1 Response Jun 8

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    Suicide i wanted to talk about what it's like

    to lose a loved one to suicide. The first year you are numb, the second you begin to live. The third is survival. It wasn't until the 5th year, when I had sex again. The anger from them, his family, is why I left. I often wondered if he was leaving also, but that was his only...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    In 2 weeks will be 6 years

    since my sister in law made her permanent choice. She was 28. Intelligent. Kind. Funny. Loved! We were chatting on fb at the moment she pulled the trigger but I didn't know that yet. I miss her. I cried but I've never broken down. I might not ever. There are always more...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 14

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    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    I don't think she was saying Jesus Christ

    as a curse word, when I told her I found him dead. I believe for that brief moment, she was calling upon The Lord for help with this wretched circumstance. This is a random memory, as the woman was strictly Jewish, yet she called upon The Christ.
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 2 Responses Jun 8

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    The apartment complex staff was wonderful to me.

    Somehow, they decided I shouldn't go back into that place, so they moved all my furniture and belongings into another apartment in a different building. The janitor had been a friend of Bob's, so it ended up his job to clean up all the blood. He even had the equipment to suck up...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 14 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 19, 2014

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    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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    On April 23, 2015 my ex boyfriend committed

    suicide.. We had started dating on April 29, 2014 and we broke up July 18, 2014 and I know that is not a very long relationship, but somehow between, the hugs, kisses, talks, smiles, and laughs I fell in love with him and I guess he didn't fall in love with me.. August 15, 2014...
    Brina99 Brina99 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    The telephone rings. It's troubling news.

    A father's distraught. I'm a daughter confused. A flood of emotions, Agony afflicting my mind. Will my prayers be answered, If I can make it on time? At the end of my tortuous drive, While I'm unlatching his gate, I hear that echoing sound, I know that I'm a minute too...
    Loverofpeace Loverofpeace 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 16

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    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    I've never really posted anything about him

    before. You'd have thought I would, considering I've been so open with everything else. But I had a conversation with someone else, who made me realise that it is real, and pretending like it isn't simply will not make it go away. He killed himself, that's it. One of my best...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 16

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    I was married to one of the most beautiful

    women on the planet. She was a nurse for over 15 years. One of the most caring loving and by far to this date the sexiest woman I have ever known. She was absolutely the women of my dreams. We were the couple that you saw that always held hands kissed and you could tell we were...
    Curtazman Curtazman 46-50, M 2 Responses 15 hrs ago

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    I'm scared a family member is suicidal,

    and there isn't anything I can do about it. I don't know how to deal with the possibility. I can't help. Legal issues. I can't stop the law. But I can't lose them. I've already lost one family member to suicide, this will destroy the family, and me.
    TechieGeek TechieGeek 31-35, F 2 Responses 48 mins ago

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    "Are you crazy," she screamed.

    Yes, I am crazy. You only get one love in life. I don't have my love.
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F Jun 9

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    His mother was going to fight over his body.

    I wanted him to stay in Salt Lake, and be buried in the Veteran's graveyard. I could have had him cremated for six hundred, considering I was so mad at him for leaving his dead body on my bed. She said she'd pay any amount to have him buried in Iowa. Until the five thousand...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 2 Responses Jun 8

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    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

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    Suicide of a loved one survivors Hard to sleep

    when others think it was any thing but suicide. I always thought since I was the one who found the body, and the neighbor heard the gun go off fifteen minutes after I left for work, well, and the police and corner's pictures all pointed towards a self inflicted. In his white...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 6 Responses Jun 25

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    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 33 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 12 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    All I can remember growing up was my dad in

    prison. He used to come out on leave sometimes and see us. A week before my 14th he called and told me he was out and that he loved me and be there on my birthday. The day after my 14th my mum told me he had killed himself the day before my birthday. I was heart broken and it...
    nemome123 nemome123 13-15, F 4 Responses Jun 8

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    I have lost two family members to suicide.

    The first one was my brother in 2008. The next was my uncle last night. Prayers appreciated.
    musicmakerdude musicmakerdude 22-25, M 2 Responses Jun 12

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    It was January 23, 2015,

    just a few months ago. I woke up in the morning and the atmosphere felt different, almost as if I was in another country. The sky was eerily dark and I just felt a knot in my stomach. My mother hadn't woke my sister and I up for school so we were confused, but didn't ponder upon...
    Eneal1202 Eneal1202 16-17, M 6 Responses Jun 22

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    I just found out my dad killed himself yesterday

    and I feel really really weird
    nachocheese0987 nachocheese0987 18-21, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

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    I hate this time of year.

    On 07/08 my mom committed suicide. She told everyone the week leading up to it that she knew she was dying, and was ok with it. I didn't realize what she was saying. The countdown begins. This day, years ago, she had it planned.
    VomitChick VomitChick 70+, F 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa 16-17, F 7 Responses May 3, 2014

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    here it is. Today. 6 years gone.

    We love and miss you more than you know. You're really missing out. Your precious girl is so much like you and growing up without her mom. I choose life. I choose to ignore the psycho on this site who had the nerve to blame me for your decision. I choose to honor your memory by...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 8 Responses 3 days ago

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    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 16 Responses Jul 15, 2008

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    At this point in the recovery period I do not

    know where I stand...Recently it was the anniversary of your "departure" and I felt the same way as I felt when your brother A. called to tell us about you a year ago. Sometimes I am so furious against you for giving up, other times I am pissed at B. for not letting you go, and...
    Marife7128 Marife7128 51-55, F 3 Responses Jun 9

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    June 29th is always an emotional surprise.

    It was around 1pm and we were instant messaging on Facebook. Joking around as usual. We had no idea she was planning to do this for years. She said someone was at the door and she'd be right back. I didn't know she was already gone. The phone rang. My mother in law was crying...
    iusedtolovemyself iusedtolovemyself 46-50, F 8 Responses Jun 24

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    June 27, 2015 : Stardate June 27,

    1990. He let me go to sleep that night knowing he would put than damn shotgun to his chest the next day. Knowing it would be me to find the bloody mess. How dare he think me such a friend.
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16, 2014

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    in 2001 I lost my father to alcohol,

    drugs,and suicide. in all honesty the drugs and alcohol had taken him long before that. he hit my mother and siblings, but for some reason I still love him. even tho I have memories of him they are so vague and blurry, I can't even remember his voice. that's the part I hate the...
    Rache06 Rache06 18-21, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    So this is just funny to ppl.

    . How low.. Really low and to tell someone to take their life too is f*cked up
    FukYuhITellTheTruth FukYuhITellTheTruth 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I remember our last goodbye,

    it stays with me like a lucid dream. Early morning hazy sunshine, and the smell of petrol leaking from my bike exhaust. "It will be fine, i said". "I only have to ride 10 minutes to work". "Alright" he said. "Ride safe, meet up later for lunch". As we went to hug, we headbutted...
    biteybikerchick biteybikerchick 31-35, F Jun 10

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 14, 2012

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    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    I might be smart enough to create this website

    idea, but it took me over two years to keep talking. Now that everyone is talking about suicide, then 25 years is a lifetime ago. People are saying three or four years. Idiots are claiming to self cut and unsuccessfully try to commute suicide. I'm thinking it's about rage. Yes...
    jaymepopejoy jaymepopejoy 56-60, F 1 Response Jun 9

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