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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,942 People

    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

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    My bestfriend passed away in December

    and it's so hard everyday to deal with it. We weren't close the last two years and I regret all that time I wasted. I miss her everyday.
    allymacc allymacc 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

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    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

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    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 33 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16, 2014

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    Every day I wake up and I know it's my fault

    you pulled the trigger...we were mad. We said things we didn't mean. You told me you were going to do it and I didn't believe you. I never should have let you push me away. I could have saved you...you were my best friend. The love of my life. I was so ready to marry you...why...
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 10

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    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    could someone message me,

    i would really appreciate it
    unfuckmyworld unfuckmyworld 18-21, M 13 Responses Jan 20

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    Everyone around me dies.

    My parents died in a car crash when I was really little. My brother committed suicide when I was 16. And a few months ago, my girlfriend Adrienne committed suicide. She had struggled with eating disorders since she was little, and she was just really starting to get better when...
    ThatBitch18 ThatBitch18 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 23

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    5 years ago a colleague of mine at work hung

    himself. I had worked with Joe for 4yrs up until the year before this, and we had become very close. He was there for me when my marriage fell through 3 weeks before we were due to tie the knot, and every Sunday we would end up in the same pub, in the same spot until the staff...
    Mick672 Mick672 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 10, 2014

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    Hello. This is my first post

    since the incident. My father committed suicide a month ago as of tomorrow. I am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is no longer here. See, I am only 19. I had so much to learn from him. So much more to experience with him. I followed his footsteps and...
    graciegirl37 graciegirl37 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 20

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    Join this group if you ever need support

    https://m.facebook.com/groups/480215555420339?ref=bookmark
    im2hot2bemo im2hot2bemo 18-21, F 5 days ago

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    my mother killed herself Nov 24 2014.

    everything since then has been nothing but stress my wife had just left 5 days before that for deployment. my dad called me the morning it had happened. she shot herself in her closet. my brother found her. I have not cried once for her since it happened. I hate how everyone is...
    apache0214 apache0214 22-25, F 3 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    Two of my friends committed suicide recently.

    Both were married and both had a child. The first time was a shock, but before I had the chance to get closure, I found my other friend dead at his house. I still can't get the image of his dead body out of my head and I had to inform his wife and I'll never forget her scream...
    MrMoJo13 MrMoJo13 36-40, M 6 Responses Jan 31, 2014

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    Did you know the opposite of life is not

    death--it's birth? It is impossible to die because the soul is energy. Energy moves and changes form but does not die. Think of it this way: it is a scientific fact that all the water on the Earth, that ever has been on Earth, is and always will be, on Earth.. it simply...
    Tannasheart Tannasheart 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    Knew him 20 years....

    ..Sitting here......Cant even type the story!
    rebel9933 rebel9933 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 9

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    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 16

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    It's been nearly two months

    and I'm still terrified to sleep...terrified of the images of you, terrified to wake up drenched in tears and sweat, screaming. Why Ben...why did you do this to me!?
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

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    He would have been 18 today,

    nothing's the same without him...it's so much worse, I wish I could talk to him, one last time, so he could tell me how to get through this, how to be strong...
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's the most painful at night.

    ..I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's alright when I wake up screaming...
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    inthehiddenshadows inthehiddenshadows 16-17, M 12 Responses Jan 22

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    nathan16500 nathan16500 13-15, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Y'all ready for this?

    TRUE HORROR STORY COMIN YOUR WAY please respond---- I was with the man of my dreams, he took me everywhere and treated me like a queen and literally would do anything for me. he loved me more than his family he had said multiple times. we planned to get married and runoff and...
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    when the love of my life committed suicide 2

    1/2 yrs ago I felt lost for a long time. I went thru a wide range of emotions the lsdt few years but can honestly day I'm ok. losing him will never be ok, but you can learn to keep living life again. in the beginning I went to his grave as often as possible to talk to him... I...
    slovek slovek 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 21

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    I lost my step mom to suicide I can't help

    but feel as though I pushed her to it all the things I said I can never take back. something funny happens I dial her number to let her know then I realize it will ring but there will be no one to answer I cry my self to sleep so many nights because of bullies and I want to just...
    allilionna allilionna 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 10

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

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    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 27, 2013

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    Suicide is a serious issue.

    If you posted something about someone offending you all I can say is I'm sorry. It's hard watching someone grow up without their dad.
    Johnviolinist823 Johnviolinist823 22-25, M 4 days ago

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    Poem copyright This pain is too hard to

    handle, Can't just blow it out like a candle Times like these not even a bottle could solve not when everything is all wrong My world is a nightmare, a terrorizing hell Like being trapped in jail But worse you're alone no guards, no lights no prisoners, no fights Just you face...
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    He's my best friend and my partner.

    He's everything I ever needed when I needed it and he pushed me to be the best me I could be and since he did it I've been on my own. Finding someone to help ease that pain took years and even though now I can manage it I still would never wish this pain on anyone. It's a place...
    Monwell Monwell 22-25, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Okay, its a month till my birthday today

    but im not excited because today was the day i lost my best friend nikki to suicide and in exactly five minutes was the time i walked into her lifeless body on the floor covered in blood. I miss her so much. Stupid bullies judging her. I love you boo, have fun up there...
    Suicidesilenced Suicidesilenced 13-15, F 8 Responses a week ago

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    My girlfriend was my world.

    . The only person that accepted me and loved me for who I am.. The only person that made me happy. I knew her for 7 years and we were together the 3 last years (we were too young before that). Her parents used to kick her out of her house for months and she would have nowhere to...
    Yiannos Yiannos 13-15, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2014

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    Her name was Olivia Pernicka.

    I set up a Instagram memorial pg in her honor, with her art,pic etc called = Olliepop_art. She was my cousin, she was 19 and an artist. Never say that words cannot kill, because they can and they caused Livvies death. Infact police told her grandmum they...
    RagAmuFFin92 RagAmuFFin92 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 9

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    I wished I could of helped you.

    You where like my little brother haha even though we are a month a part. I met you on here and we've became so close. But suddenly you changed, I tried to help but I was to late. I'm sorry I couldn't help. I'll miss you everyday, I'll never forget you.
    BooBear99 BooBear99 16-17, F 6 Responses Jan 5

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    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 18 Responses Jan 9

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    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 15 Responses Jul 15, 2008

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    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    how dare someone inbox me saying he was selfish

    for doing what he did ! y'all people are ******** n this is exactly why I hate people and was reluctant to join a damn support group or whatever you call this !!!! ughhhhhh way to make my day ten times worse *******!
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Are you still haunted by the loss of a loved

    one to suicide? Recently my husband's nephew shocked everyone one that knew and loved him. I wrote a general post about suicide and joylessness and boredom. By all accounts he was not depressed. Goals were achieved. He was a man of free will and otherwise successful (a lawyer...
    Tannasheart Tannasheart 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I was surprised to see a highlighted message

    and lifeline numbers for help when searching this topic....Thankyou EP!! Ive lost more than one person this way and appreciate this gesture very much.
    Angelkins Angelkins 46-50, F 2 Responses a week ago

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    My older brother, the only protection I had

    from my parents, I hated him for such a long time, he left me to be hurt, and it only got worse once he was gone. But now almost 2 years later I get it. He couldn't handle it, he didn't want to be treated like that, and I don't blame him, I've though about joining him, I could...
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

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