Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
If you are in a crisis, please call for help: 1-800-273-8255, or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7). More resources available here.

I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,334 People

    1 month and 11 days ago I lost my mother to

    suicide. I remember when my sister called me. I was in school. She told me our mum had OD'D and that she was in the hospital. I started crying, and she told me everything was going to be OK - mama would get the help she needed. But I knew. I knew she wouldn't survive. How did...
    leavingtraces leavingtraces 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 42 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    highomeal highomeal 16-17, M 17 Responses Jan 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3 already. Its not even been 2 months.

    .. I miss all of you guys. Im so sorry i couldn't save you. I tried...
    NobodyCaresOkai NobodyCaresOkai 13-15, F 1 Response Feb 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last year a very good friend of mine committed

    suicide. I had no idea that he was suffering and I blame myself a lot because I didn't notice his pain. For those of you who have very recently lost someone to suicide, know that it gets easier as the days pass. I'm here for anyone who needs to vent :) (Here's a pretty...
    00Marley00 00Marley00 16-17, F 22 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a new member of a club

    which I hoped never to earn membership to. I lost a person I loved profoundly to suicide on Thanksgiving 2014. This person had a complicated and troubled yet truly beautiful soul. I will use the pronoun "he" as he lived the majority of his life presenting as a man but at times...
    AdiosPantalones AdiosPantalones 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate it when people think no one understands

    when they loose someone like a grandmother. You knew they were gonna die in the first place. I've lost my WHOLE FAMILY and I don't go out in public and blubber, saying poor me and shoving the fact Someone in my family is dead. You know what my relatives do when I cry over my...
    CYANIDExSILENCE CYANIDExSILENCE 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My name is jessica I'm 27 I lost my mom to

    suicide may17 th 2009 I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide it called Julie's hope. I'm looking for other people that would under stand what I'm going through and to join me at my meetings I live in Garfield heights ohio message me or call me at...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just lost my dad may 5th 2014,

    he committed suicide, he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. His suicide note kills me everytime i see it. I miss him, he was my hero
    madicakes123 madicakes123 16-17, F 6 Responses Feb 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Stay strong baby girl,

    I can't handle losing another one, not you and Chris please hold on.
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Six months today, your beautiful smile was

    wiped from the earth. The longer you're gone the more I realise you really aren't coming back. I miss you..
    livingmylifeonewayoranother livingmylifeonewayoranother 13-15, T 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa 16-17, F 7 Responses May 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 14 Responses Oct 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I got a call about 2:30 am this morning .

    I knew she was having problems but I didn't know how depressed she was. She called me last week and said hey girl - she was suppose to visit this week . We were friends since age 5 - went all through school together. This is the third friend I have lost to suicide. I love you...
    Dancemomisme1 Dancemomisme1 46-50, F 14 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just learned that a friend of mine committed

    suicide yesterday. it just feels unreal, I just don't know what to say.
    andrewD51 andrewD51 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He was a boyfriend. I was 15,

    when he took his life. I never knew that he was having a hard time. Wish I could've done something. I guess because I was suicidal, during that time, I couldn't see what was happening.
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My brother, my best friend,

    and half of my soul passed away on February 16,2015. He had been battling with depression for over 13 years and I tried to help him every step of the way and failed at the very end. He had just gotten out of the hospital a week before that for a suicide attempt and didn't feel...
    finallyfree2fly finallyfree2fly 26-30, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well not really suicide

    but still she's gone. She was 15. I had the biggest crush on her as a freshman in highschool. Then she left school for a year due to Liver Cancer. Then she came back a year later and said her cancer was cured. Then she died 3 weeks later. I should have attended her funeral. She...
    Chelsea248744 Chelsea248744 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So many unanswered questions

    and 3 years on I still wonder why. One of my dearest friends told me she had enough and couldn't "hack it" anymore. She told me she went and bought rope. I told another friend about what she had told me and she just said "oh you know she goes through dark phases and always pulls...
    Thedarkpassenger86 Thedarkpassenger86 26-30, F 3 Responses Mar 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost 5 my close friends

    who comit suicide. miss them alot I understand why they did it abd also why somone else doo. The last when I see them alive I wont forget. that about 5 friends who I know personal. There was even more my internet friends who did that and sadly so manny make suicide i try too.now...
    MilenaLena MilenaLena 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Theres a point in everyones life

    when they feel that they have no purpose to be here anymore, cause i myself have those feelings often, life is far from easy but the only thing that keeps me up is God, whenever i feel down i pray, everyone has to face negativity, you have to be strong enough and fight and prove...
    QueenQB QueenQB 16-17, F Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No amount of tears I've cried

    or many prayers I've said can ever bring you back. Happy Birthday, Brian... I miss you and love you so much.
    XxxFallenAngelxxX XxxFallenAngelxxX 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have lost my brother on March 23,

    2014. I really miss him. We didn't really talk and i think I'm part of the reason.
    laceyrose03 laceyrose03 13-15, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I struggle with some of my religion's

    statements about suicide and how I feel.
    alexis77 alexis77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I thought I was moving on,

    that I could be able to start dating again, opening myself to someone again. But alas I was wrong. Whenever I start to think I've found someone to form a relationship with I feel like I'm betraying her in some way. Like I'm just trying to replace her. That somehow I'm...
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My girlfriend was my world.

    . The only person that accepted me and loved me for who I am.. The only person that made me happy. I knew her for 7 years and we were together the 3 last years (we were too young before that). Her parents used to kick her out of her house for months and she would have nowhere to...
    Yiannos Yiannos 13-15, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    just lost a good friend yesterday.

    this is so wild. I just saw him and now he's gone.
    LeviKururugi LeviKururugi 18-21, M 4 Responses Mar 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of the persons that I valued most in the

    entire world shot themselves on Thursday afternoon. I didn't find out till today. It hurts knowing that they will no longer ask me how I felt, or help me through this depression. At first I was angry that he was so selfish, but now I feel guilty knowing I maybe could have...
    ElectrifiedArrow ElectrifiedArrow 13-15, F 7 Responses Feb 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Seriously don't come to me with the suicide

    stuff unless you're being honest. I can't take talking about that stuff if you just want attention. It kills my nerves and makes me cry and I'm so sick of it. If you want attention find it some other way! Some people have first hand experiences with suicide and don't need you...
    LivviyLove LivviyLove 16-17, F Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my best guy friend to suicide.

    .. his girlfriend that he was going to propose to, cheated on him. When she found out he knew, she cursed at him and told him to kill himself. He had already had depression problems.. but this just added to it. One day he just decided to end it all. I miss him more than ever. It...
    unicornsexist1 unicornsexist1 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been almost a month now,

    it still feels so unreal, I remember holding you in my arms and thinking at any moment now you are going to wake up and hold me back....you didn't :/ my brother I have those unanswered questions that unbearable pain and then next mintue that horrible calm and numbness that I...
    Junostars Junostars 31-35, F 8 Responses Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel