Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
If you are in a crisis, please call for help: 1-800-273-8255, or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7). More resources available here.

I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,322 People

    Two of my friends committed suicide recently.

    Both were married and both had a child. The first time was a shock, but before I had the chance to get closure, I found my other friend dead at his house. I still can't get the image of his dead body out of my head and I had to inform his wife and I'll never forget her scream...
    MrMoJo13 MrMoJo13 31-35, M 6 Responses Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    about a year ago i lost my sister

    because she took her own life. My family and i went out to dinner for my birthday and my sistef told us that she was feeling to "sick" to go. My mother didnt know that My sister was bullied or in depression. Heck she never saw the cuts on her arm or her legs, she was good at...
    meggg54 meggg54 16-17, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My boyfriend's little sister committed suicide

    almost a year ago. He's in the marines and I probably won't be able to talk to him, but I want to do something for his mom, since now she's home alone without her son with her for the anniversary. I don't want to be too intrusive in case she doesn't want to be around people...
    Kaziopiah Kaziopiah 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today I went to the cemetery to visit my

    cousin's plot. As I was sitting there I read his headstone inscription, and noted his date of birth. I sat there confounded and hurt. I was roughly eleven when he passed and he was twenty two. I sat there in utter shock, realizing he was about the same age I am now . It broke...
    MSCris MSCris 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my best friend Latasha to suicide in

    middle school. it was terrible. maybe one day I'll share the story again.
    SouthernBella89 SouthernBella89 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Elias, my beautiful angel,

    my heart weeps as I think of your demise. I'm so, so sorry I wasn't there for you when you needed me. I saved you twice...why couldn't I save you for the third time? ...I wish you didn't do what you did, but there's no undo button in real life, unfortunately. Lying in bed...
    Etherealinsanity Etherealinsanity 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    10/10/14: Lost my 16yo cousin

    who was near and dear to me.. Overdose on prescripted drugs, passed away 15 hours later. She battled depression for what seemed like forever.. She's in peace now. RIP my beautiful angel...
    Killingmesoftlyx3 Killingmesoftlyx3 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's not to late yet,

    something provided her to cut to deep, she wanted to go for it but she saw me hugging and calming her, I don't know why she saw it but I want to prevent another attempt but have no f*cking way how and it's almost to late. Pleas send tips en help, show ur humanity.
    jack3683 jack3683 16-17, M 3 Responses Sep 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Even though it's been almost 6 years I still

    can't go a day without wanting to call you! Every time I hear your favorite song , see a dragonfly , or see anything purple I think of you. When you left ,a piece of my heart went with you to keep until we meet again, because nothing and no one will ever fill that void!
    FallenAngel0 FallenAngel0 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 33 Responses Jul 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicide doesn't kill people.

    Sadness kills them. People who die from suicide don't want to end their life; they want to end their pain. They say suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem, but sometimes that problem isn't so temporary. Suicide isn't cowardly. Wanna know what's cowardly? Treating...
    JustSomeTeenagerr JustSomeTeenagerr 13-15, F 3 Responses Oct 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 9 Responses Jun 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    His name was James and a piece of my heart was

    in love with him. He had piercing eyes and a kind smile. He would call me beautiful and parts of me would melt. He was a unique soul who embraced anyone he crossed paths with. Popular, athletic, artistic, and attractive. People said they didn't see it coming. I think that I...
    abcdefgh19 abcdefgh19 22-25, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    July 15th, 2014 I lost someone I was very close

    to. I met Justin when I was 11, and we hung out almost every single day, and had sleepovers every weekend. We didn't always get along, but overall we were very close friends. About a year ago, I moved away. After a few months we started to lose contact. July 16th I randomly...
    kr1sten kr1sten 16-17, F 2 Responses Sep 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This past Saturday a good friend of mine lost

    her battle and fell short to her depression. Depression is a real disease. It's not something that can be easily controlled. Sometimes the people who appear the happiest and the strongest are fighting the hardest battles, often within themselves. I wish I would have known sooner...
    taylor0430 taylor0430 18-21, F 7 Responses Aug 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my boyfriend and best friend to suicide

    coming up 5 years ago. and I still miss him terribly. I still feel in shock really, and I still grieve. I get through the days now- I smile and I mean it. I can have conversations where I don't mention his name. I can live a pretty normal life. but when everyone goes home, the...
    electricgirl84 electricgirl84 26-30, F 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my dad 7 and a half years ago

    when I was 15 and it hasn't been the same since. The sad part is, you get used to not having them there.
    lubbdubb lubbdubb 22-25, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My only sibling, my big brother,

    shot himself a couple of months ago. I miss him so much, I feel like I'm missing him more each day but I don't like to talk about it to my friends any more as I feel like they must be getting tired of hearing the same story again and again but it doesn't stop in my head so I put...
    Botbot10 Botbot10 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today is 2 years since I lost my girlfriend to

    suicide. I miss her terribly. She was not only my girlfriend but also my best friend. And deep inside I feel as if it was my fault she committed. I miss you Skylar..
    CatySansom CatySansom 16-17, F 7 Responses Oct 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    His name was Dario and we met on a psych ward.

    He was doing well after he left hospital and got on to an art college programme. But his paranoia made him think all the other students hated him. He jumped from a car park a week ago. I don't know how to deal with it
    Ravenosiris Ravenosiris 26-30, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My name is jessica I'm 27 I lost my mom to

    suicide may17 th 2009 I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide it called Julie's hope. I'm looking for other people that would under stand what I'm going through and to join me at my meetings I live in Garfield heights ohio message me or call me at...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He was my best friend,

    a big brother, a son, and the smartest, most charismatic, loving person I've ever known. He was 23. It's three months today. He drove to a deserted area, lit himself on fire, and crashed into a ditch. He was my rock for six years, the only friend who has stuck around with me...
    letsrunaway letsrunaway 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 7 Responses Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A year ago tomorrow, on Thanksgiving,

    my sister will have been gone for one year. She killed herself. I haven’t opened up to anyone about it because I feel ashamed and am extremely worried about how our family is perceived. I am in so much pain and sadness from loosing her I don’t know what to do to help...
    kimberlyyy00 kimberlyyy00 26-30, F 5 Responses Oct 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    today I have been thinking about it a lot

    so I decided to share. I am 18 years old, when I was 13, my oldest sibling and only brother Zac (16) committed suicide. The weekend he died, he bought tickets for me and my sister to go see a tribute band to Nirvana. It wasn't until we came home that my sister discovered he had...
    lorettah lorettah 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my boyfriend to suicide.

    I still havent dealt with it, he was my best friend too. He hanged himself. It was completely unexpected even though we both had a lot of issues. We met in a childrens home and lived there together for a year. Then we moved to the same supported accommodation and were there for...
    featherdibs featherdibs 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Look. I am seeing a lot of people talking about

    how bad theyre life is and how they want to kill themselves. Well guess what? None of you ever think about how that effects everyone else. I talked to my grandpa one day, then that night I heard a gunshot. I ran to his house(assuming a break in or somthing) and there he was in...
    toms420 toms420 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 37 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    riddlesmile riddlesmile 31-35, M 3 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 16-17, M 12 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He was the best roomate I ever had.

    We worked together a lot and shared stories about our cultures. He had a rich history and he'd tell about his life and how culture in africa was. He also would curse a lot, "Fauq yuu mudafuka, watch out fo black mamba!" Which he said every day haha. He had a dark and stoic sense...
    FreezerDog1 FreezerDog1 18-21, M Oct 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 34 Responses Oct 1, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm so flooded by memories.

    I call him my best friend, though im sure he hated me in the end. Funny how a few years can poison what could have been the best of friendships. I will never forget him. I won't understand why he wanted to die. He was one of the kindest people in the world. Hell, he loved me...
    Musicthataltersyou Musicthataltersyou 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One of my best friends at high school was

    depressed, just like me but his life so far had been even worse. Every single day I saw his depression consume the beauty of his soul and his life, I saw the broken pieces of his heart crumble every day. Last year when we were biking around town we came at a railroad crossing...
    gomega98 gomega98 16-17, M 2 Responses Oct 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Staci

    My friend, since third grade, Staci, would’ve been 19 years old today. I think about her every day. I still remember her smile, our inside jokes, I can trace my memories with her all the way back to third grade, the first day we met. We maintained a close friendship for nine...
    kalee19 kalee19 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Goodnight Baby Brother

    It will be a year ago on November 14 that I lost my little brother. I'll never know why and it haunts me everyday. I will never let go of the nagging feeling that I could have prevented it. Maybe if I had spent more time with him, maybe if I had opened up to him more, maybe if I...
    sincerelybritty sincerelybritty 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Loneliness and pain creates a void,

    dark shadows haunt, torment and torture, only reflective thoughts and memories of what used to be happiness, can you not stay? Dark forests of wood where we used to play, brushing back the tears, saving heart ache I cannot bear, only memories can she save of what she once...
    SassyBabe39 SassyBabe39 41-45, F 2 Responses Oct 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    xxInes20xx xxInes20xx 13-15, F 3 Responses Sep 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Trevor was one of my best friends

    and past boyfriends but he just couldn't take it anymore i had no idea he had so many problems. He hid it well I miss him every day its almost been 4 years but feels like 4 days
    WendyDarlin WendyDarlin 18-21, F 8 Responses Jul 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    5 years ago a colleague of mine at work hung

    himself. I had worked with Joe for 4yrs up until the year before this, and we had become very close. He was there for me when my marriage fell through 3 weeks before we were due to tie the knot, and every Sunday we would end up in the same pub, in the same spot until the staff...
    Mick672 Mick672 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think my friend realjax009 killed himself.

    Not calling me or answering texts and is not on here anymore. Wtf!! Why god!!!! Noooo! So pissed right now. Was a talented guy and didn't deserve the illness he had. Don't knowing you are dead or not but know I really did have love for you like a sibling. Why couldn't you stay...
    Tigerlily53 Tigerlily53 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 16

    Your Response

    Cancel