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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,680 People

    This past Saturday a good friend of mine lost

    her battle and fell short to her depression. Depression is a real disease. It's not something that can be easily controlled. Sometimes the people who appear the happiest and the strongest are fighting the hardest battles, often within themselves. I wish I would have known sooner...
    taylor0430 taylor0430 18-21, F 6 Responses Aug 20

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    I lost my best friend.

    It was our freshman year of college. I was left and so did everyone else. She didn't have enough money to pay for college other than the local ones. She was going to go the community college. While everyone else left and went else where. We had no clue what was going on in her...
    BeccaSa BeccaSa 26-30, F 2 days ago

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    My little sister. We shared every experience

    as children, we were insepreable, best friends. We shared good times and helped eachother through though times. With time we drifted apart, too occupied with our own problems. Two inseperable friends were seperated by their own selfishness. We shared a house but lived two...
    JayRon JayRon 26-30, M 3 Responses Dec 6

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    Today I went to the cemetery to visit my

    cousin's plot. As I was sitting there I read his headstone inscription, and noted his date of birth. I sat there confounded and hurt. I was roughly eleven when he passed and he was twenty two. I sat there in utter shock, realizing he was about the same age I am now . It broke...
    MSCris MSCris 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 33 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    I miss you so much M.

    I loved you so much! You were so wrong for me, so bad for me, but I loved you. I still do. I miss your dark ways. I miss you corrupting my soul. You were right in making me leave, you may have killed me if I didn't. But I wish you didn't die! I am so sorry I was afraid...
    stolenartistalways stolenartistalways 31-35, F 5 days ago

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    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2

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    My best friend, my mentor,

    my shoulder to cry on, sometime to laugh with, my daddy. I'm 22 years old and have mental illness myself (bi polar/OCD). Three months ago my daddy took his life, and when he did he took a large part of me with him. We had a bond that a lot of people don't get with their father...
    arigby arigby 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 16

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    I can feel his presence in me,

    like he's living through me. I promise to live for you, M! I will be all that you wanted me to be. I am seducing the world, becoming famous, losing weight, having plastic surgery, getting educated, raising my children, and becoming wealthy. It's for you! No more...
    stolenartistalways stolenartistalways 31-35, F 2 days ago

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    It has been ten years

    since my dad is gone. Whenever someone talks about family or my dad... My tears will fall immediately. Can anyone tell me how do I recover from this?
    applebeth applebeth 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 13

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    He was 14 the first time I saw him.

    He was 16 when we met. He was 17 when he was no longer the boy I fell in love with. He was 18 when he died. He would be 21 today.
    amazingcuzitis amazingcuzitis 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 23

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    You would have been 27 today,

    my brother. I am so sorry for any hurt and damage I caused! I only hope you can forgive me. I will always miss you and never forget you! I will look out for your daughter! Until we meet again...
    Lovethebump Lovethebump 26-30, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    She was fourteen when she first felt the

    emptiness within, a black hole in her soul. She stopped fighting it a couple of months later. She decided to live through the blade; letting its sharp lips draw kisses along her pale flesh. She was sixteen and by then all hope was lost, she had so many scars, countless as the...
    RozzebellConta RozzebellConta 18-21, F Nov 23

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    One of my friends I was very close with,

    killed herself over the summer. The pain was unreal. she was such an amazing person and was so beautiful. I love you and miss you Katie♡
    elizabethcalvin elizabethcalvin 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 30

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    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

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    A long time ago, my friend

    and I had a sleepover. We had lots of fun, he was very happy to spend time with me because it wasnt often we could be together because he lived a few hours away. When we both got into my double bed, we both fell asleep, or so I thought... (I cant put all the details because...
    TropicalArctic TropicalArctic 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 8

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    My ex boyfriend who I was with

    for 6 years, we had only been broken up for 9 months, took his life on Thanksgiving morning. We didn't break up because we didn't love each other, I broke up with him because I couldn't deal with his problems anymore and my trust was broke. He became an alcoholic 2 years ago...
    feelinglost84 feelinglost84 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 9 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 14 Responses Jul 15, 2008

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    19 years ago I lost my mother to suicide.

    She disappeared one day after saying she was just running out to get rolls for breakfast. They found her off the coast of Cape May on August 31st. On September 1st, my sister's 18th birthday the police came to my house to ask my father to come identify her. 19 years later I can...
    wallflwrinblm wallflwrinblm 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 2

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    My friend took his life yesterday.

    He was a friend. A mentor. Someone to look up to. A loving husband. A father to two beautiful daughters. A friend. A co worker. A guy who kept you positive. A guy who got dealt a hand of brain cancer. A guy who had to fold his cards. A guy you just love.
    thecaptain2 thecaptain2 36-40, M 2 Responses Dec 5

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    It'll be 3 years in January

    but I lost my stepdad to suicide. It's his birthday today. That hit me over breakfast. It's also the first time I'm not with my mom for this day. And I feel awful. Even though he was selfish leading up to it, I still miss him. I wish I could stop. It'd be so much easier.
    mbellz424 mbellz424 22-25, F 2 Responses Nov 19

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    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa 13-15, F 7 Responses May 3

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    5 years ago a colleague of mine at work hung

    himself. I had worked with Joe for 4yrs up until the year before this, and we had become very close. He was there for me when my marriage fell through 3 weeks before we were due to tie the knot, and every Sunday we would end up in the same pub, in the same spot until the staff...
    Mick672 Mick672 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 10

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    I lost my sister to suicide almost 2 years ago

    on November 24th.. it haunts me everyday.. We were close at a time and then it went down hill.. I'm reminded of her everyday and it hurts.. it's been a crazy year.. moved in with my boyfriend, finished school, read a few great books.. but I just feel like I lost my self since...
    Allaboutacupoftea Allaboutacupoftea 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 17

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    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16

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    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    It seems the people I get close to commit

    suicide :( 2nd one in the space of less than two years shows what an awful friend I am, I loved them though I don't even know if I can go on without them...i wish I could have stopped both of them from doing it and ik it's my fault that I couldn't stop them :( I want my friends...
    Il0veandre Il0veandre 13-15, T 7 Responses Nov 11

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    i doubt anyone will reply.

    ..no one did to the other post i put up. I lost my first cousin to suicide in may. he jumped off a bridge and his body was never found. so we never had a service or a headstone or a formal memorial. i lost another cousin a year ago this november 20th to suicide also. that will...
    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 9 Responses Nov 18

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    I lost my mum last year.

    She was a kind gentle woman on her good days but when bipolar took over it was like talking to a hyperactive child. But. I miss her. My heart aches for a parent right now
    twixxer twixxer 26-30, F 2 Responses Dec 10

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Two of my friends committed suicide recently.

    Both were married and both had a child. The first time was a shock, but before I had the chance to get closure, I found my other friend dead at his house. I still can't get the image of his dead body out of my head and I had to inform his wife and I'll never forget her scream...
    MrMoJo13 MrMoJo13 31-35, M 6 Responses Jan 31

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    At my gymnastics club,

    one of my teams favorite coach, leader, and "mom" was killed in a murder/suicide. Her and her husband had been arguing when she called the cops, but when they got there it was too late. Her husband had killed her than himself. Worst part being, he did it in the gym. Prayers are...
    Theycallherelly Theycallherelly 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 24

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    junipersun21 junipersun21 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 10

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    1 year and 3 months..

    I'm turning 21 in a couple of days, the age you were when you committed suicide. I think about it everyday and how we were soul mates. it's revelatory how someone can look past everything they have for something so futile and just end their existence without a moments notice.
    MooreVandervale MooreVandervale 18-21, M 2 Responses Nov 14

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    I was going through my phone today

    and came across our text. I miss you so much it breaks my heart. You where always the person I turned to for help and now I can't. Reading the last text you sent me broke my heart into a million pieces. I love you Matt you where always my big brother.
    hugsandkisses26 hugsandkisses26 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 19

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    My ex boyfriend overdosed

    and died. He drank himself to death, among other drugs. I stopped talking to him a few months ago because I was afraid I would get into trouble being associated with him and the illegal things he was into. I knew he was desperate and suicidal but I cut off all communication...
    ijustneedtoletitout ijustneedtoletitout 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 3

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    My girlfriend was my world.

    . The only person that accepted me and loved me for who I am.. The only person that made me happy. I knew her for 7 years and we were together the 3 last years (we were too young before that). Her parents used to kick her out of her house for months and she would have nowhere to...
    Yiannos Yiannos 13-15, M a week ago

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    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 40 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I thought he was killed.

    That's what my family kept saying for years. Now, I know the true, he hated living with my father so much that he killed himself. I loved him, he was my brother. I'm so sad he's gone.. We should have done something to get him out of there..
    everybodywantshappiness everybodywantshappiness 18-21, F Nov 15

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

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    It's been two years this June

    since my cousin killed himself. My brother still loses his mind and sobs.... I'm not sure how I can help him or myself truly heal from this.
    leaguegirl97 leaguegirl97 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 15

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    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11

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    In my darkest hour, my deepest despair,

    when I can no longer sleep, when I want to not breath, I try to stay strong for you. When we were younger and I promised I would survive for you, that I wouldn't let you die and I let you down and for that I am truly sorry. The only retribution I can think of is for me to live...
    hotstreak426 hotstreak426 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 29

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    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

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    He killed himself today.

    .. I miss him more than anything.... I wish that I was there for him more...
    BloodRedDarkness BloodRedDarkness 16-17, F 8 Responses Nov 17

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6

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