Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device
If you are in a crisis, please call for help: 1-800-273-8255, or 1-800-784-2433 (available 24/7). More resources available here.

I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,924 People

    Her name was Olivia Pernicka.

    I set up a Instagram memorial pg in her honor, with her art,pic etc called = Olliepop_art. She was my cousin, she was 19 and an artist. Never say that words cannot kill, because they can and they caused Livvies death. Infact police told her grandmum they...
    RagAmuFFin92 RagAmuFFin92 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Poem copyright This pain is too hard to

    handle, Can't just blow it out like a candle Times like these not even a bottle could solve not when everything is all wrong My world is a nightmare, a terrorizing hell Like being trapped in jail But worse you're alone no guards, no lights no prisoners, no fights Just you face...
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 12 Responses Oct 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 15 Responses Jul 15, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay, its a month till my birthday today

    but im not excited because today was the day i lost my best friend nikki to suicide and in exactly five minutes was the time i walked into her lifeless body on the floor covered in blood. I miss her so much. Stupid bullies judging her. I love you boo, have fun up there...
    Suicidesilenced Suicidesilenced 13-15, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Y'all ready for this?

    TRUE HORROR STORY COMIN YOUR WAY please respond---- I was with the man of my dreams, he took me everywhere and treated me like a queen and literally would do anything for me. he loved me more than his family he had said multiple times. we planned to get married and runoff and...
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 9 Responses Jun 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My name is jessica I'm 27 I lost my mom to

    suicide may17 th 2009 I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide it called Julie's hope. I'm looking for other people that would under stand what I'm going through and to join me at my meetings I live in Garfield heights ohio message me or call me at...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My bestfriend passed away in December

    and it's so hard everyday to deal with it. We weren't close the last two years and I regret all that time I wasted. I miss her everyday.
    allymacc allymacc 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wished I could of helped you.

    You where like my little brother haha even though we are a month a part. I met you on here and we've became so close. But suddenly you changed, I tried to help but I was to late. I'm sorry I couldn't help. I'll miss you everyday, I'll never forget you.
    BooBear99 BooBear99 16-17, F 6 Responses Jan 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are you still haunted by the loss of a loved

    one to suicide? Recently my husband's nephew shocked everyone one that knew and loved him. I wrote a general post about suicide and joylessness and boredom. By all accounts he was not depressed. Goals were achieved. He was a man of free will and otherwise successful (a lawyer...
    Tannasheart Tannasheart 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hello. This is my first post

    since the incident. My father committed suicide a month ago as of tomorrow. I am having a difficult time dealing with the fact that he is no longer here. See, I am only 19. I had so much to learn from him. So much more to experience with him. I followed his footsteps and...
    graciegirl37 graciegirl37 18-21, F 5 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    inthehiddenshadows inthehiddenshadows 16-17, M 12 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Join this group if you ever need support

    https://m.facebook.com/groups/480215555420339?ref=bookmark
    im2hot2bemo im2hot2bemo 18-21, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Mom

    Sep 25, 2013 It hurts way more than I thought it would. It's like my mom was two different people. I want to throw up just thinking about it. Her service is Wednesday and I'm dreading it. I can't stop getting into a panic just thinking about it. I'm nervous because its her...
    leestrauss leestrauss 22-25, M 8 Responses Oct 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was surprised to see a highlighted message

    and lifeline numbers for help when searching this topic....Thankyou EP!! Ive lost more than one person this way and appreciate this gesture very much.
    Angelkins Angelkins 46-50, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    could someone message me,

    i would really appreciate it
    unfuckmyworld unfuckmyworld 18-21, M 13 Responses Jan 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's the most painful at night.

    ..I just want someone to hold me and tell me it's alright when I wake up screaming...
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everyone around me dies.

    My parents died in a car crash when I was really little. My brother committed suicide when I was 16. And a few months ago, my girlfriend Adrienne committed suicide. She had struggled with eating disorders since she was little, and she was just really starting to get better when...
    ThatBitch18 ThatBitch18 18-21, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I lost my step mom to suicide I can't help

    but feel as though I pushed her to it all the things I said I can never take back. something funny happens I dial her number to let her know then I realize it will ring but there will be no one to answer I cry my self to sleep so many nights because of bullies and I want to just...
    allilionna allilionna 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Every day I wake up and I know it's my fault

    you pulled the trigger...we were mad. We said things we didn't mean. You told me you were going to do it and I didn't believe you. I never should have let you push me away. I could have saved you...you were my best friend. The love of my life. I was so ready to marry you...why...
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My older brother, the only protection I had

    from my parents, I hated him for such a long time, he left me to be hurt, and it only got worse once he was gone. But now almost 2 years later I get it. He couldn't handle it, he didn't want to be treated like that, and I don't blame him, I've though about joining him, I could...
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    how dare someone inbox me saying he was selfish

    for doing what he did ! y'all people are ******** n this is exactly why I hate people and was reluctant to join a damn support group or whatever you call this !!!! ughhhhhh way to make my day ten times worse *******!
    shatteredheart13 shatteredheart13 18-21, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 16-17, M 13 Responses Oct 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 33 Responses Oct 1, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He would have been 18 today,

    nothing's the same without him...it's so much worse, I wish I could talk to him, one last time, so he could tell me how to get through this, how to be strong...
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bitter Battle Between Parents - Result : Daughter Commits Suicide

    The most important thing I've learned in life is not to let one's conflict with someone else affect others. Let it affect only the combatants and not innocent 3rd parties. My daughter committed suicide in part because this lesson was not learned early in life. Her parents allowed...
    sakamato sakamato 51-55, M 4 Responses Mar 3, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 41 Responses Nov 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's been nearly two months

    and I'm still terrified to sleep...terrified of the images of you, terrified to wake up drenched in tears and sweat, screaming. Why Ben...why did you do this to me!?
    diabeticHailey diabeticHailey 18-21, F 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    hey, This is my first post

    so please bare with me.. She was my best friend.. her name was Hannah. we used to hang out a lot together, smoking, and having laughs.. she would always give me advice on my present gf's and tbh, she was Always there when she was needed. Her just being there and talking made...
    Shadow6six6 Shadow6six6 22-25, M 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    when the love of my life committed suicide 2

    1/2 yrs ago I felt lost for a long time. I went thru a wide range of emotions the lsdt few years but can honestly day I'm ok. losing him will never be ok, but you can learn to keep living life again. in the beginning I went to his grave as often as possible to talk to him... I...
    slovek slovek 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Suicide is a serious issue.

    If you posted something about someone offending you all I can say is I'm sorry. It's hard watching someone grow up without their dad.
    Johnviolinist823 Johnviolinist823 22-25, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My World Lost A Beautiful But Tragic Woman.

    My mother was a stunning woman. She was of irish, french and tahitian heritage. The clearest blue eyes, dark curly long mane for hair, a models body with the height to match. Apple of her fathers eye, eldest of three, spoiled by the love of a family. She had everything. She had...
    DarkHeartLove DarkHeartLove 26-30, F 6 Responses Jul 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    5 years ago a colleague of mine at work hung

    himself. I had worked with Joe for 4yrs up until the year before this, and we had become very close. He was there for me when my marriage fell through 3 weeks before we were due to tie the knot, and every Sunday we would end up in the same pub, in the same spot until the staff...
    Mick672 Mick672 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My girlfriend was my world.

    . The only person that accepted me and loved me for who I am.. The only person that made me happy. I knew her for 7 years and we were together the 3 last years (we were too young before that). Her parents used to kick her out of her house for months and she would have nowhere to...
    Yiannos Yiannos 13-15, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa 13-15, F 7 Responses May 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel