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I Lost Someone To Suicide

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,306 People

    just lost a good friend yesterday.

    this is so wild. I just saw him and now he's gone.
    LeviKururugi LeviKururugi 18-21, M 4 Responses Mar 14

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    Happy birthday, Jess.

    I haven't forgotten.
    Sicarium Sicarium 36-40, M Sep 2, 2014

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    ashlynthewolf I think is her username.

    .. this gave me reasons to hate ep. everyone wanted her dead and they kept explaining how it would be an amazing thing if she had. well you know what? most of the people who talked to her are now the cause of her death and this ****** me off. I loved her and I cared for her and...
    highomeal highomeal 16-17, M 17 Responses Jan 22

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    I don't really talk about him.

    Not because I'm mad or sad, I've been both of those things, but that's not why. He was my best friend in high school. The first two years of it anyway. We were both misfits, outcasts. He was the fat kid and I was the weird girl. Except he didn't see me like that. To him, I was...
    kbetweens kbetweens 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

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    [open letter] RIP Josh.

    I've been listening to your playlist. Honestly, I need you more than ever now. Some days I feel like ****. Some days I really do just want to quit and leave everything. But I will never forget my promise to you. I'm carrying on for the both of us. I miss you so much. I miss...
    EnigmaSings EnigmaSings 22-25, F Jul 16, 2014

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    Six months today, your beautiful smile was

    wiped from the earth. The longer you're gone the more I realise you really aren't coming back. I miss you..
    livingmylifeonewayoranother livingmylifeonewayoranother 13-15, T 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am a new member of a club

    which I hoped never to earn membership to. I lost a person I loved profoundly to suicide on Thanksgiving 2014. This person had a complicated and troubled yet truly beautiful soul. I will use the pronoun "he" as he lived the majority of his life presenting as a man but at times...
    AdiosPantalones AdiosPantalones 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 17

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    I wasn't planning on sharing this,

    at least not this soon. But after my talk with another EP member two days ago and my talk with a different one just now, I figured that maybe I should and that with this, I could also release some of the feelings I've been having. So for those that don't know.. most of you...
    Niran3 Niran3 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 17

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    Two People

    I was one of the first people to discover Alice dead. She had been growing quite distant for some time and one day she said to come to her house to talk with her a little. I was overjoyed! She's reaching out! I quickly put on some good clothes and walked to her place. The door...
    EmpowermentProject EmpowermentProject 31-35, F 8 Responses Jun 5, 2013

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    My name is jessica I'm 27 I lost my mom to

    suicide may17 th 2009 I'm starting a support group for families left behind after a suicide it called Julie's hope. I'm looking for other people that would under stand what I'm going through and to join me at my meetings I live in Garfield heights ohio message me or call me at...
    lifeafterasuicide lifeafterasuicide 26-30, F 7 Responses Aug 27, 2014

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    Well not really suicide

    but still she's gone. She was 15. I had the biggest crush on her as a freshman in highschool. Then she left school for a year due to Liver Cancer. Then she came back a year later and said her cancer was cured. Then she died 3 weeks later. I should have attended her funeral. She...
    Chelsea248744 Chelsea248744 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    I wished I could of helped you.

    You where like my little brother haha even though we are a month a part. I met you on here and we've became so close. But suddenly you changed, I tried to help but I was to late. I'm sorry I couldn't help. I'll miss you everyday, I'll never forget you.
    BooBear99 BooBear99 16-17, F 6 Responses Jan 5

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    Hello everyone, I am 15 yrs old

    and I lost my dad to suicide last year after thanksgiving. I woke up to my mom screaming and calling 911 me and my 3 other sibling were in the living room after I realized what I thought had happend my heart was beating so fast I though I was having a stroke I felt sick, my mom...
    Fangedwang Fangedwang 22-25, M 5 Responses Feb 4

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    Seriously don't come to me with the suicide

    stuff unless you're being honest. I can't take talking about that stuff if you just want attention. It kills my nerves and makes me cry and I'm so sick of it. If you want attention find it some other way! Some people have first hand experiences with suicide and don't need you...
    LivviyLove LivviyLove 16-17, F Feb 15

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    When I was little, my mom

    and dad were separated. I'd go to his house every other weekend. Then he stopped coming to pick me up for a couple months and nobody knew why. Then my mom got a call one day and she started crying. I didn't know why, but I knew it was a deep, internal cry. Something my mom...
    ImJustMeAlex ImJustMeAlex 18-21, F 13 Responses Jul 11, 2014

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    My sister took her life 5 mos ago.

    I still have to walk myself through this new reality forgetting or finding it impossible to believe that this actually happened. Life is tricky and unpredictable right now. Feel wildly insecure and unbalanced. I'm finding it nearly impossible to do anything I used to find fun. I...
    missdioggi missdioggi 36-40, F 16 Responses Jan 9

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    I Didn't Think I Would Actually Share This Here

    I really try to not dwell in the past, but someone asked a question this week that reminded me of the unique circumstances around surviving the suicide of someone you love.   My husband took his own life four years ago.  It was not his first attempt, although I had...
    edgargeorge edgargeorge 41-45, F 32 Responses Jul 31, 2009

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    He was a boyfriend. I was 15,

    when he took his life. I never knew that he was having a hard time. Wish I could've done something. I guess because I was suicidal, during that time, I couldn't see what was happening.
    CreoleItalianwoman CreoleItalianwoman 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    Yes, I have lost a family member to suicide.

    It was my first husband. We loved each other very much and we had three beautiful boys together. My husband was a military officer and had been to the Middle East war zones repeated times and it took its toll on him mentally. My husband was diagnosed with PTSD. He did not...
    happygoluckywife happygoluckywife 36-40, F 8 Responses Mar 19, 2014

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    I Was Waiting Until I Was Ready to Write This,,,

                                           A Dedication To Maddie        ...
    QueenOfHearts QueenOfHearts 22-25, F 33 Responses Oct 1, 2009

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    I've never really posted anything about him

    before. You'd have thought I would, considering I've been so open with everything else. But I had a conversation with someone else, who made me realise that it is real, and pretending like it isn't simply will not make it go away. He killed himself, that's it. One of my best...
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 16

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    My Best Friend....

    My best friend... we were both in 8th grade... She was beautiful, but she got bullied by not just girls... guys. She was called fat and she was called ugly... I tried to protect her... but then she got a facebook... by the time I realized what was happening on facebook, it was to...
    ADemonsFate ADemonsFate 18-21, M 13 Responses Oct 27, 2013

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    I just lost my dad may 5th 2014,

    he committed suicide, he put a gun in his mouth and pulled the trigger. His suicide note kills me everytime i see it. I miss him, he was my hero
    madicakes123 madicakes123 16-17, F 6 Responses Feb 9

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    Saying Goodbye To Luke

    I cannot believe it has been almost two years since we lost you. My emotions at times can feel just as raw as the day you left. But then there are days where you don’t cross my mind, almost like it was a nightmare, long forgotten, lost in a childhood full of dreams.Saying...
    girlbythebay girlbythebay 22-25, F 9 Responses Nov 7, 2011

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    My big brother. He hung himself

    because he was bullied for being gay. I miss him more and more everyday. Rest in Paradise Richard <3 I love you. It still hurts, even though this happened nearly two years ago. May 5th will make two years since he's been gone. I just have to remind myself he's no longer in...
    shipmateelyssa shipmateelyssa 16-17, F 7 Responses May 3, 2014

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    A Sign

    If you are thinkin of committing suicide tonight and you are looking for a sign not to, here is your sign. Do not committ suicide because there is so much ahead for you. I love you and I believe in you. You are amazing
    flippersteen flippersteen 22-25, F 1 Response May 22, 2013

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    My Little Girl...

    This is such a hard thing to do. And honestly... I thought I would never be able to share something so hurtful and one of the causes of this terrible state I'm in... but I just read the story of one of my new EP friends, and have the feeling (can be mistaken) that finding the...
    sweetmeisje sweetmeisje 26-30, F 14 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    Stay strong baby girl,

    I can't handle losing another one, not you and Chris please hold on.
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 15

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    I thought I was moving on,

    that I could be able to start dating again, opening myself to someone again. But alas I was wrong. Whenever I start to think I've found someone to form a relationship with I feel like I'm betraying her in some way. Like I'm just trying to replace her. That somehow I'm...
    Mordacai Mordacai 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 3

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    My Daughter Megan Shot And Killed Herself 11/3/13

    I just can't let her go. I was kept from seeing her with the best intentions. Maybe that's why I still can't believe it.
    megankentsmom megankentsmom 41-45, F 11 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    I Lost My Dad To Suicide.....Paul Anthony.

    ([Edit] Just noticed over 2000 people have read this. I hope some of you found a tiny bit of something to relate to. and thank you all so much for taking the time to read this ) I found this thread so am taking a few moments to just put my experience out there. Feel kinda kooky...
    CharlieUniform CharlieUniform 31-35, F 74 Responses Apr 24, 2011

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    I struggle with some of my religion's

    statements about suicide and how I feel.
    alexis77 alexis77 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    I lost my first love to suicide at age 19 (he

    was 20). I found him hanging in the attic. His parents were out of town…so I rode alone in the ambulance to the hospital with him. But I knew he was dead. I knew it then and I still knew when the doctor told me they were unable to revive him. In the hospital I stood alone...
    shylainey shylainey 22-25, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    R.i.p.

    You were an incredible friend. You were so kind and tender. You were never cruel to anyone. I am so sorry it happened like this. I don't pretend to know what was happening in your life, but you changed everyones' lives for the better who knew you. You were such a gentle person...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 14, 2012

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    I could've stopped him

    if I was there I talked him outta it once I could've done it again
    silverstrike silverstrike 13-15, M 2 Responses Mar 2

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    He would have been 18 today,

    nothing's the same without him...it's so much worse, I wish I could talk to him, one last time, so he could tell me how to get through this, how to be strong...
    imsinkinkimg imsinkinkimg 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 27

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    On 11/24/14 me and my mother got a call in the

    middle of the day. I was at school she was at work. I got the call first. It was from a friend. I answered "Hello?" All I heard was crying on the other end of the phone. "Hello? What's wrong?" I said. "TY, your brother. He killed himself" she said. There was silence on the phone...
    chadderman chadderman 13-15, M 3 Responses Feb 17

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    I met Noah and his brother in 2013.

    We were both in a dark place in our lives and pretty lost. His brother simon was the most beautiful person in the world and kept us both balanced. Through a crazy turn of events, we began a relationship in February of 2014 and stayed together until his death in June of 2014. His...
    MindlessMatters MindlessMatters 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 9, 2014

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    Ryan

    My best friend Ryan committed suicide 2 weeks ago yesterday. He's always been depressed and talked about it endlessly so I can't say it was a huge shock but it still hit me pretty hard..I'd never been to a funeral or even seen a corpse before and I had to be one of the pall...
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 41 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I think the worst part about losing someone to

    suicide is when you see them spiraling down, and you know there isn't much you can do. I didn't ever know how to help him and next thing I knew it was over.
    avabellaforb avabellaforb 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 30, 2014

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    One of the persons that I valued most in the

    entire world shot themselves on Thursday afternoon. I didn't find out till today. It hurts knowing that they will no longer ask me how I felt, or help me through this depression. At first I was angry that he was so selfish, but now I feel guilty knowing I maybe could have...
    ElectrifiedArrow ElectrifiedArrow 13-15, F 7 Responses Feb 22

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    I just learned that a friend of mine committed

    suicide yesterday. it just feels unreal, I just don't know what to say.
    andrewD51 andrewD51 18-21, M 2 Responses Feb 10

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    How Suicide Has Effected My Life..

    I am writing this story after reading other peoples horrifying experiences with suicide.  Mine seems mild compared to some of the stories i have read on here. My experiences with suicide started with my Uncle Paul.  He shot himself when i was a toddler so i dont...
    kim8701 kim8701 18-21 16 Responses Jul 15, 2008

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    It's been almost a month now,

    it still feels so unreal, I remember holding you in my arms and thinking at any moment now you are going to wake up and hold me back....you didn't :/ my brother I have those unanswered questions that unbearable pain and then next mintue that horrible calm and numbness that I...
    Junostars Junostars 31-35, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    I lost my best guy friend to suicide.

    .. his girlfriend that he was going to propose to, cheated on him. When she found out he knew, she cursed at him and told him to kill himself. He had already had depression problems.. but this just added to it. One day he just decided to end it all. I miss him more than ever. It...
    unicornsexist1 unicornsexist1 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    1 month and 11 days ago I lost my mother to

    suicide. I remember when my sister called me. I was in school. She told me our mum had OD'D and that she was in the hospital. I started crying, and she told me everything was going to be OK - mama would get the help she needed. But I knew. I knew she wouldn't survive. How did...
    leavingtraces leavingtraces 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 19

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