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I Love a Good Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 56,646 People

    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down?It gets toad away.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Cheating Wife

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 10 Responses Oct 31, 2011

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    Some years ago a local jewelry store donated a

    set of four time zone clocks to my hometown Police Department in Maywood, NJ. The first week all four clocks ran fine. On Monday the weekly test of the building generator was conducted.. The eastern, central and western clocks ran perfectly. While the mountain zone clock ran...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 20

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    Lol this 15 year old just message me asking me

    for a picture of my d**k. And i just laughted at her message and told her "go play with ur dolls lil kid" this site is not only filled with pervs but also horny lil inmature 15 year old girls.
    vinneh22 vinneh22 22-25, M 7 Responses Jul 7, 2014

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    Once, a father of a teenage daughter was

    concerned because his daughter spent too much time on phone; and nobody else in house could use the that line. So, he got a solution, he had a new telephone line installed for her. Two or three days after her telephone had been installed, he came home to find her stretched out...
    oldnotbald oldnotbald 56-60, M Jan 11

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    CantThinkOfAUserNameLol CantThinkOfAUserNameLol 18-21, F 4 Responses Nov 8, 2014

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    I know I post about my 6 yr old a lot,

    but he is just full of it. He laid down on me and felt the heat coming off my sunburn, so he said,"mama, you're hot. You're two kinds of hot!" And raised his little eyebrows at me. LOL lady killer in the making!
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 8 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    Here's a math problem!

    "Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming back and don't ask Y!"
    iEPeace iEPeace 31-35, F 2 Responses May 7, 2014

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    Pass it on (from a new friend) Girl: *calls

    911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Girl: Two boys are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Girl: The ugly one is winning.
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 14 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    Cold Weenie

    A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm...
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots 36-40, M 9 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    On New Year's Eve Dan was in no shape to drive

    home. So he did the sensible thing and left his car parked in the lot and started to walk home. As he was stumbling along, a police officer stopped and asked him where he was going at 4 a.m. "I'm on my way to a lecture, Dan responded. "Now who on earth would be giving a...
    BytheBy BytheBy 46-50, F 1 Response Dec 28, 2014

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    On New Year's Eve at a local pub,

    Jessie stood up and announced that it was nearly time. She asked that at the stroke of midnight every husband be next to the one person that made is life worth living. At midnight, the bartender was nearly crushed to death. ---------------------
    BytheBy BytheBy 46-50, F Dec 28, 2014

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    That awkward moment when someone knows you,

    but you don’t know them. Once a woman invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" she said. "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear mommy say," the...
    oldnotbald oldnotbald 56-60, M Jan 11

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    Starlet: “How would you describe me?

    ” Director: “ABCDEFGHIJK.” Starlet: “What does that mean?” Director: “Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot.” Starlet: “Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?” Director: “I’m just kidding!”
    oldnotbald oldnotbald 56-60, M Jan 11

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    Silly

    Alright, so the other day Ben and I were chatting, and I said, "I love you Ben." And he responded with, "I love you too, Ben." I died. O.O LOL, I was laughing for like 20 minutes. Tears running down my face, felt like my stomach was going to split open, had trouble breathing, but...
    MacabreFanatic MacabreFanatic 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    I died laughing because my cat's hyped on pain

    meds from the vet after being fixed. He tried to run down the stairs and half assed it, just about falling down the stairs.
    pizzagarden pizzagarden 16-17, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    I can't stop bein fun

    and jumpin and stuff my friend say I'm so funny and I can't be serious lol
    IceUpSon27 IceUpSon27 13-15, M 1 Response Jan 17

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    Iffy94 Iffy94 18-21, F 6 Responses Jan 10

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    If you have a sense of humor like mine,

    then let's be besties! (Sometimes Dad jokes, some crude humor, random funny ****)
    chasetheweirdo8 chasetheweirdo8 13-15, M Jan 2

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    Penis Size

    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, this is a very interesting book about sexual...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 3 Responses Nov 1, 2011

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    Lakee112812 Lakee112812 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 16, 2014

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    Dad – Dear, I want you to marry a girl of my

    choice. Son – no way.. Dad - She is the daughter of world's richest man. Son – then its done. Then his dad goes to that richest man.. Dad - I want your daughter to marry my son. Rich man – nope Dad: He is the COO of world bank. Rich man – then its done. Then Dad again...
    oldnotbald oldnotbald 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    What did the farmer say

    when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?" I know it's silly but it's one of my favorites:)
    ChellyBelly88 ChellyBelly88 26-30, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 12 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    Two factory workers talking: Woman: “I can

    make the boss give me the day off.” Man: “And how would you do that?” Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: “What are you doing?” Woman: “I’m a light bulb.” Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you...
    Luvvya Luvvya 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 12, 2014

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    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    My 5 year old son has Charlie Brown pajamas,

    and he was wearing them this morning so I said, "Good morning, Charlie Brown!" His response was (with his R's making the /w/ and sometimes /h/ sound), "I am NOT Chahlie Bwown! I have tattoos and loads of haiw! Manliuh! Manliuh! Manliuh!!" That would be hair and manlier. He...
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 10 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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    Charlie borrowed his friends Volkswagen,

    while his car was in the garage. When he got into it, he found out it would not start. So he got out and raised the hood and looked down in amazement. This other guy came by driving in his Volkswagen and saw that this guy was in trouble, so he stopped and went over. "What...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 8

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    Once a man questioned his wife,

    "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me any fortune?" "Dear hubby, I'd have married you... NO Matter who left you a fortune!" She replied softly. ~From the Net!
    oldnotbald oldnotbald 56-60, M 1 Response Jan 11

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    Mother In Law After a husband

    and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. “He fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”“No, no, darling,” replied the mother. “He must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”From Reader's Digest.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 7 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    http://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/things-you-will-never-be-able-to-forget?s=mobile Brings back some memories. I know we can all relate to some of these ;) If you care to share, what were your favorites?
    Jadedlace Jadedlace 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 21

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    Melbourne airportVictorians can be

    so polite!Melbourne Tower : "Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R." east approachSaudi Air : "Thank you Melbourne. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel'srunway 9R east - Allah be Praised."Melbourne Tower : " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 9R...
    PixiePat PixiePat 36-40 1 Response Jan 21

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    The Mile High Club

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. . Then...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 24 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    when i have a good laugh,

    i can forget bad things...i love it. i'll do anything for that.
    juryandrews juryandrews 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 7

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    A woman was getting swamped with calls from

    strangers. The reason? A billing service had launched an 800 number that was identical to hers. When she called to complain, she was told to get a new number. "I've had mine for twenty years," she pleaded. "Couldn't you change yours?" The company refused, so she said, "Fine...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    HUSBAND'S MESSAGE: Hi Honey,

    I got hit by a car in the office parking lot. Paula took me to the hospital. They have conducted many tests and taken numerous x-rays. The blow to the head is serious and may have lasting effects. I have three broken ribs, a spinal injury, multiple lacerations, a broken...
    Guvna2106 Guvna2106 31-35, M 6 Responses Apr 28, 2014

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    4 stages of marriage -Mad

    for each other .Made for each other. Mad at each other Mad because of each other.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 5, 2014

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    Which condom would u use?

    ADT Condoms - Always thereAT&T Condoms - Reach out and touch someone; Rethink PossibleAllstate Condoms - You're in good handsAvis Condoms - Trying harder than everBounty Condoms - The quicker picker upperCalifornia Lotto Condoms - Who`s next?Campbell's Soup Condoms -  Mmm, Mmm...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 7 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    holidaycams123 holidaycams123 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 11

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    The question is...Do you believe in true love?

    Here's the answer...It depends. Some people fall in love and then they think they're in true love, but then they brake up. Then there are some other people who fall in love and stay in love. But now that I think of it, I don't know anyone like that!! So, MY ANSWER IS NO...
    WorthlessXlove WorthlessXlove 13-15, M Jan 10

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    Melbourne airportVictorians can be

    so polite!Melbourne Tower : "Saudi Air 511 -- You are cleared to land on runway 9R." east approachSaudi Air : "Thank you Melbourne. Acknowledge cleared to land on infidel'srunway 9R east - Allah be Praised."Melbourne Tower : " Iran Air 711 - You are cleared to land on runway 9R...
    PixiePat PixiePat 36-40 6 Responses Jan 21

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    Make your sentence, I got " I SMOKED WEED WITH

    AN OLD MAN BECAUSE I'M SEXY " xD
    Iffy94 Iffy94 18-21, F 33 Responses Jan 10

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    thekinglover thekinglover 13-15, M 1 Response 18 hrs ago

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    so this farmer is out on his property

    and a man in a government car pulls up. Flashes his DEA badge and says he is going to search the guys farm. Well the farmer isnt stupid and says i'm sorry you will need a warrant for that sir. DEA man says. you see this badge. I can go where i want when i want i dont need...
    aimjustjoe57 aimjustjoe57 56-60, M 5 Responses Jan 20

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    I Am So Fricken Funny !!!

    Personally, I think that to laugh is the best medicine. When you smile you don’t cry. A good laughter kills all the stress and disappointment thus ,energizing you quickly. Laugh is like a magic. Laugh is just like catharsis. That is why, I simply love to make people laugh. I...
    Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 13 Responses Sep 3, 2012

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    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 12, 2014

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    In our daily meetings we discussed one called

    me the scarecrow with not brain and all the knowledge of me being dumb... you know what i am saying team? ...Let them do it
    laughatthehoe444 laughatthehoe444 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    The Job Applicant

    A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?" "Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not." "Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?" "I...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 7 Responses Jul 29, 2013

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    Reading The Paper

    I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks, "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 9 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    I do....I really do..

    . Laughter is one of my key ingredients for keeping me young at heart....
    candyblu candyblu 46-50, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    So my ex, whom I had kicked out

    for cheating on me in november last year, called me several times and left me a voice message, saying that she needs a place to stay cause her boyfriend kicked her out of his place. I called her up just so she could hear me laugh. Sure I'm a jerk, but she had that coming.
    QuilltonX QuilltonX 18-21, M 9 Responses