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I Love a Good Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 71,545 People

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    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down?It gets toad away.
    whitesunshine87 whitesunshine87 51-55, F 7 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    Dear algebra, Stop asking me to find your X.

    She's not coming back. I don't know Y either.
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 7 Responses Jun 24

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    A study has revealed

    that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be...
    expressomarkie expressomarkie 46-50, M 16 Responses Feb 3

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    Harry was shipwrecked on a deserted island.

    For several months, he longed for someone to talk to; searched the horizons for even the suggestion of a ship. One day, his committment was rewarded: A beautiful woman was washed up onto the beach, floating on a large steamer trunk. Harry got her all settled, and fed, and dried...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses May 12

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    The teacher asked Jimmy,

    "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    A woman's mind is cleaner

    than a man's: She changes it more often.
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 1 Response 21 hrs ago

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    Last night, laying in bed with my wife,

    I said: "I love you.". She asked: "Is that you, or the beer talking?" I said: "It's me. Talking to the beer....".
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 17 Responses Jun 10

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    Dear Warner Brothers: Now

    that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 14 Responses Apr 20

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    I know it doesnt sound like much yet

    but hear me out , now on 4 in C. . . ." Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na BATMAN!!!!" Sooooo ? What do you think ?
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 3 days ago

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    I got pulled over by a bicycle cop

    once . . . .he said "Do you know why I pulled you over ?". . . . I said "Hell NO, In Fact I dont even know why I stopped !"
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Of all the things I've lost,

    i miss my mind the most :)
    informal informal 31-35 1 day ago

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    Things I think about

    while on hold. . . . .Does a shepherd fall asleep when he is counting his flock to make sure they are all there . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 4 days ago

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    A husband visited a marriage counsellor

    and said,"When we were first married,I would come home from the office,my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.Now after ten years it's all different.I come home,the dog brings my slippers and my wife runs around barking...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 28 Responses Feb 7

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    Wife: "How would you describe me?

    " Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK." Wife: "What does that mean?" Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot." Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?" Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Some people say "If you can't beat them,

    join them". I say "If you can't beat them, beat them", because they will be expecting you to join them, so you will have the element of surprise.
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Friendship between women: - OMG.

    I am so fat. - Silly, you are not fat, you are perfect. Friendship between men: - I am fat. - Yes dude. And ugly too. :-))
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 9 Responses Jun 19

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    I once had girlfriend say I made her feel

    invisible.. . . . Which I found funny because . . . . . I didn’t even know I had a girlfriend. . . . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Mile High Club

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. . Then...
    Myztikal Myztikal 41-45, F 18 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    Mother In Law After a husband

    and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. “He fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”“No, no, darling,” replied the mother. “He must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”From Reader's Digest.
    whitesunshine87 whitesunshine87 51-55, F 10 Responses Sep 22, 2014

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    A successful man is one

    who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 5 Responses 2 days ago

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    my 5 yo niece told me this one today.

    "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it". I'm still smiling.
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Feb 16

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    Young Love.

    A boy approached the girl's father and asked,"Sir,can I have your daughter's hand?"The father replied,"You might as well,since you've already had the rest of her." Hahahaha..just kidding!!!!😜
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 16 Responses Feb 9

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    My wife’s jealousy is getting ridiculous.

    The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who the hell May was.
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 6 Responses Jun 23

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    I asked a Chinese girl

    for her number. She said, "Sex! Sex! Sex! Free sex tonight!" I said, "Wow!" Then her friend said, "She means 666-*****...
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 6 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Pass it on (from a new friend) Girl: *calls

    911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Girl: Two boys are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Girl: The ugly one is winning.
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 13 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook

    for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an *******!
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 day ago

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    Cheating Wife

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 11 Responses Oct 31, 2011

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    Two silkworms had a race.

    . . . . . They ended up in a tie.
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I love people who make me laugh.

    I honestly think it's the thing I like the most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 28

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    If Superman owned sheep,

    would they have steel wool?
    mmorgan0678 mmorgan0678 41-45, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Laughing so hard, no noise coming out,

    so you sit there clapping like a retarded seal.
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 3 Responses 20 hrs ago

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    KataraC KataraC 18-21, F 7 Responses Apr 21

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    In 1964 Jack Weinberger,

    a free speech activist, said "Dont Trust anyone over 30". . . .I wonder if he trusts anyone over 80 now . . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    BantaKing101 BantaKing101 13-15, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 9 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    My neighbor's a moron .

    . .he volunteers as a cross walk guard a couple days a week , now he tells people he is in human trafficking. . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 7 Responses May 12

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    Tried dark roast coffee.

    No cream No sugar. Result. Thats for people who love shaking their heads and grunting. Lmao.
    Converted Converted 46-50, M 1 day ago

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    There was a preacher

    who fell in the ocean and he couldn't swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, "Do you need help, sir?" The preacher calmly said "No, God will save me." A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, "Hey, do you need help?" The preacher replied again, "No God...
    seniordingdong seniordingdong 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Once I've advertised on Craigslist: "Wife

    wanted" I've got 23450 messages from men saying: "You can have mine".
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M 13 Responses Jun 23

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    Just watched a commercial.

    . . . . . I dont get it . . . . ..How is it possible that the side effect for asthma medication is shortness of breath?
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I find it funny that 30-50 year old guys

    without profile pics and experiences all about sex message me and think im actually gonna reply 😂😂 dumbasses
    LoveEverMore LoveEverMore 13-15, F 12 Responses Jun 21

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    Never could understand

    why two men would walk abreast. . . .I would think it would just be a whole lot easier and less embarrassing to walk a dog.
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Woke up with my credit card lying on my

    keyboard. I can't wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 10 Responses Apr 9

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    My 5 year old son has Charlie Brown pajamas,

    and he was wearing them this morning so I said, "Good morning, Charlie Brown!" His response was (with his R's making the /w/ and sometimes /h/ sound), "I am NOT Chahlie Bwown! I have tattoos and loads of haiw! Manliuh! Manliuh! Manliuh!!" That would be hair and manlier. He...
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 8 Responses Apr 6, 2014

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