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I Love a Good Laugh

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 9 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    Regular sleep prevents old age.

    ... especially if u take them while driving... :P
    miru1 miru1 26-30, F 9 Responses Sep 17, 2015

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    Woke up with my credit card lying on my

    keyboard. I can't wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 9 Responses Apr 9, 2015

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    I find it funny that 30-50 year old guys

    without profile pics and experiences all about sex message me and think im actually gonna reply 😂😂 dumbasses
    LoveNeverMore LoveNeverMore 13-15, F 10 Responses Jun 21, 2015

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    A man approached a very beautiful woman in a

    large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
    Sinjintiger Sinjintiger 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 10, 2015

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    Three Irishmen, Paddy,

    Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. 'Come have a look over here,' says Paddy, 'It's Michael O' Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.' 'That's...
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A magician worked on a cruise ship,

    and the audience was different each week so the magician did the same tricks over and over again. There was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw the shows each week and began to understand how the magician did every trick. Once he understood, he started shouting in the...
    stefanbanner stefanbanner 46-50, M 5 days ago

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    I love to joke around,

    don't take my msgs. On this page seriously , only times I'm serious is when I'm driving, or when I lie to the judge. So plz don't take it literally .
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 9 hrs ago

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    Father O' Malley answers the phone.

    'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is' 'This is the Inland Revenue Service, income tax department. Can you help us?' 'I can.' 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' He is' 'Did he donate €10,000 to the church?' 'He will.'
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I have a phobia of German sausage.

    Yes, I fear the Wurst!
    w8ter w8ter 56-60, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2015

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    KataraC KataraC 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 21, 2015

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    Sunday Morning Sex Upon hearing

    that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on...
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

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    My dear friend of 43 years passed away suddenly

    on Election day in November. She was my friend and sister (not biological) and knew everything about me..was there to witness everything. No one knew so much about my life or dysfunctional family.It's the kind of relationship that only comes once in a lifetime. During the last...
    Oddandsingular Oddandsingular 56-60, F 15 Responses Feb 24, 2015

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    Dear Warner Brothers: Now

    that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 13 Responses Apr 20, 2015

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    My neighbor is experiencing really low self

    esteem right now, he got on one of those dating sites, when he was asked to create a username he typed myp&nis, the screen went red over the box and said "too short"
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    The Skirt story   In a crowded city at a busy

    bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.  As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus, which now seemed a...
    NorgePrincess NorgePrincess 41-45, F 15 Responses Jan 7

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    Marriage is like a deck of cards.

    In the beginning all you need is two hearts and a diamond. By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 17 Responses Dec 19, 2015

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    When you cry laughing

    and your stomach gets tight...that's a top 5 feeling man.
    dmc313 dmc313 26-30, M 5 Responses Oct 29, 2015

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    Got into a fight with a dude the other day,

    beat the s*** out of the guy. Dude was three times my age! (Check age group)
    jokintokin jokintokin 26-30, M 6 days ago

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    I used to laugh all the time

    but I don't seem to anymore. I want a good laugh
    lostinthewater lostinthewater 41-45, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    Night cap..... Condoms do not guarantee safe

    sex, if your caught with someone's wife, that condom will not protect you!!!.
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 hrs ago

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    Was it so small.. That

    when you saw it you laughed ?
    CODECRACKER2014 CODECRACKER2014 41-45, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I met a man the other day named Flanagan

    and I said, 'You're a happy man.' He said, 'I am.' I said, 'Why?' 'Well,' he said, 'the Income Tax people have been after me for 20 years, driving me mad, to get money out of me, driving me crazy with worry. But, this morning I got a letter from them and it said: FINAL NOTICE...
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    I love people who make me laugh.

    I honestly think it's the thing I like the most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 28, 2015

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    I was thinking, when It's my time,

    I want to go in my sleep like my grandpa....not screaming like the other 3 people in his car.
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 2 Responses 10 hrs ago

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    My neighbor's a moron .

    . .he volunteers as a cross walk guard a couple days a week , now he tells people he is in human trafficking. . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 5 Responses May 12, 2015

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    I'm gonna hang a Batman outfit in my closet to

    screw with myself when I get Alzheimer's.
    CuriousGuy833 CuriousGuy833 22-25, M 5 days ago

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    "When your internet goes out

    and you are forced to get to know your surroundings."
    BiFurZak BiFurZak 22-25, M 4 hrs ago

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    How do you make a sweet 80 year old lay the F

    bomb? ......have another 80 year old continually say BINGO!!!!
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

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    Elephant to the camel.

    "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" Camel replies, " That's a silly question from someone who has a **** on his face. "
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    Humor is very important in my life

    and people who share their silly moments are proven to be happier and live fruitful lives together. I love people for who they are and think people are beautiful, everyone has a unique story to tell and it always helps to have a silver tongue when in a conversation to bring up a...
    WolfSweet WolfSweet 18-21, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    A guy goes to pick up his date

    for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if...
    Baswm Baswm 46-50, M 6 Responses Dec 29, 2015

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    A married couple were arguing over a financial

    problem and the husband turns to his wife and says " You know after all these years I can't still don't understand how they could make you so beautiful and yet so dumb"! So the wife patiently responds " It really isn't that hard to figure out you see, they made me beautiful so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 21, 2015

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    A father is passing by his son’s college late

    one night on a business trip and decides to stop in for a visit. Arriving at what he thinks is the fraternity house, he knocks on the front door. “Whaddaya want?” a voice calls down from the second floor. “Does Jimmy Duncan live here?” the father calls up. “Yup...
    stefanbanner stefanbanner 46-50, M 4 days ago

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    After having their eleventh child,

    a Missouri couple decided that was enough, as they could not afford a larger bed. So the husband went to the doctor and told him that he and his wife didn’t want to have any more children. The doctor told him that there was a procedure called a vasectomy that could fix the...
    stefanbanner stefanbanner 46-50, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Doolin bought himself a jigsaw puzzle with 20

    pieces. It took him a month to fit the pieces together correctly. He thought this was terrific, but his mate O'Reilly said, 'What's the big deal?' Doolin said,' Well it said on the box: 4 to 6 years.'
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're

    a detective. I think we should split up." Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
    stefanbanner stefanbanner 46-50, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    A guy with a gun walks into a bar.

    "Who the fk had sex with my wife?" he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, " You don't have enough bullets mate!"
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 11 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    my 5 yo niece told me this one today.

    "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it". I'm still smiling.
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Feb 16, 2015

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    sometimes i wish i could just do what i want to

    do whole day without stressing about applications for job, uni, etc... i wish i could just play games, draw draw draw, read books, watch dramas and movies... sleep when i want to, play when i want to, eat what i want to eat without having to worry about health, my own welfare...
    gabrielleshin gabrielleshin 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    " Morning Sex" She was standing in the

    kitchen, preparing our usual soft-boiled eggs and toast for breakfast, wearing only the 'T' shirt that she normally slept in. As I walked in, almost awake, she turned to me and said softly, You've got to make love to me this very moment!" My eyes lit up and I thought, "I am...
    Christuner666 Christuner666 26-30, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    If I find a guy that cares about me half

    as much as this guy cares about his girlfriend I'll be golden. http://youtu.be/JHOBhgjc1Jc
    MsJessicaRabbit MsJessicaRabbit 26-30, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

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    my friend showed me flipagram roast compilation

    it makes me laugh so hard. the guys laugh in the backround is what makes it so dam funny.
    LoveNeverMore LoveNeverMore 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Mrs. Feeney shouted from the kitchen,

    'Is that you I hear spittin' in the vase on the mantel piece?' 'No,' said himself, 'but I'm gettin' closer all the time.'
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M a week ago

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