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I Love a Good Laugh

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    My dear friend of 43 years passed away suddenly

    on Election day in November. She was my friend and sister (not biological) and knew everything about me..was there to witness everything. No one knew so much about my life or dysfunctional family.It's the kind of relationship that only comes once in a lifetime. During the last...
    Oddandsingular Oddandsingular 56-60, F 15 Responses Feb 24, 2015

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    A guy and his girlfriend were out shopping

    and he grabs a case of beer to take home... She, says "put that back, we can't afford to spend $40 on beer" He said "but i just saw you spend $60 on make up" She said "that's so I look pretty for you" He said "That's what the beer was for"
    tammy96 tammy96 51-55, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    A husband visited a marriage counsellor

    and said,"When we were first married,I would come home from the office,my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.Now after ten years it's all different.I come home,the dog brings my slippers and my wife runs around barking...
    teachocolate teachocolate 41-45, F 26 Responses Feb 7, 2015

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    What's worst than waking up from a hangover in

    a room full of strangers with a peni$ drawn on your face?........finding out it was traced.
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I love people who make me laugh.

    I honestly think it's the thing I like the most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Apr 28, 2015

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    Sunday Morning Sex Upon hearing

    that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on...
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 5 Responses 4 days ago

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    A man approached a very beautiful woman in a

    large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
    Sinjintiger Sinjintiger 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 10, 2015

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    I used to laugh all the time

    but I don't seem to anymore. I want a good laugh
    lostinthewater lostinthewater 41-45, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    How do you make a sweet 80 year old lay the F

    bomb? ......have another 80 year old continually say BINGO!!!!
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 9 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 14 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    A guy goes to pick up his date

    for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if...
    Baswm Baswm 46-50, M 6 Responses Dec 29, 2015

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    Three Irishmen, Paddy,

    Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard. 'Come have a look over here,' says Paddy, 'It's Michael O' Grady's grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87.' 'That's...
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Father O' Malley answers the phone.

    'Hello, is this Father O'Malley?' 'It is' 'This is the Inland Revenue Service, income tax department. Can you help us?' 'I can.' 'Do you know a Ted Houlihan?' 'I do' 'Is he a member of your congregation?' He is' 'Did he donate €10,000 to the church?' 'He will.'
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Regular sleep prevents old age.

    ... especially if u take them while driving... :P
    miru1 miru1 26-30, F 8 Responses Sep 17, 2015

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    my friend showed me flipagram roast compilation

    it makes me laugh so hard. the guys laugh in the backround is what makes it so dam funny.
    LoveNeverMore LoveNeverMore 13-15, F a week ago

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    Night cap..... Condoms do not guarantee safe

    sex, if your caught with someone's wife, that condom will not protect you!!!.
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    Cheating Wife

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 10 Responses Oct 31, 2011

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    My neighbor's a moron .

    . .he volunteers as a cross walk guard a couple days a week , now he tells people he is in human trafficking. . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya 56-60, M 5 Responses May 12, 2015

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    I find it funny that 30-50 year old guys

    without profile pics and experiences all about sex message me and think im actually gonna reply 😂😂 dumbasses
    LoveNeverMore LoveNeverMore 13-15, F 10 Responses Jun 21, 2015

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    I was thinking, when It's my time,

    I want to go in my sleep like my grandpa....not screaming like the other 3 people in his car.
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    How do you hurt a guys ego.

    ..... During sex wait a couple of mins. And say" I'm waiting"
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 4 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    As a kid I always mixed up my words

    when nervous, the local bully occasionally took our lunch money. He was a middle schooler, I was so nervous cause I left my money in my mom's house, in my draw. Well, when he got to me all the words got mixed up. What came out my mouth was " I left it your mom's draws...
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    A 1st grade school teacher presented each child

    in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb... And these 6-year-olds came up with: It's always darkest before ... daylight saving time. Where there's smoke there's ... pollution. Don't bite the hand...
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 18, 2015

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    sometimes i wish i could just do what i want to

    do whole day without stressing about applications for job, uni, etc... i wish i could just play games, draw draw draw, read books, watch dramas and movies... sleep when i want to, play when i want to, eat what i want to eat without having to worry about health, my own welfare...
    gabrielleshin gabrielleshin 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Doolin bought himself a jigsaw puzzle with 20

    pieces. It took him a month to fit the pieces together correctly. He thought this was terrific, but his mate O'Reilly said, 'What's the big deal?' Doolin said,' Well it said on the box: 4 to 6 years.'
    MysteryManInHat MysteryManInHat 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    If we meet offline & you look nothing like your

    pics, you're buying me drinks until you do.:)
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 16 Responses 1 day ago

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    autism1011 autism1011 22-25, M 3 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    A married couple were arguing over a financial

    problem and the husband turns to his wife and says " You know after all these years I can't still don't understand how they could make you so beautiful and yet so dumb"! So the wife patiently responds " It really isn't that hard to figure out you see, they made me beautiful so...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Apr 21, 2015

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    my 5 yo niece told me this one today.

    "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it". I'm still smiling.
    deleted deleted 26-30 12 Responses Feb 16, 2015

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    A study has revealed

    that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be...
    expressomarkie expressomarkie 46-50, M 14 Responses Feb 3, 2015

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    A guy with a gun walks into a bar.

    "Who the fk had sex with my wife?" he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, " You don't have enough bullets mate!"
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 11 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    The Mile High Club

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. . Then...
    Myztikal Myztikal 41-45, F 17 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    Marriage is a Relationship in

    which One Person is always right and the other is the Husband.:)
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 14 Responses Dec 19, 2015

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    Dear Warner Brothers: Now

    that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 13 Responses Apr 20, 2015

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    How A Bedroom Smells After Marriage.

    .. First 3 Years ...perfumes, flowers, chocolates, strawberry, grapes After 3 Years ...baby powder, Johnsons lotion and cream, baby oils After 15 years ...zandu balm, vicks, iodex, relispray After 40 years ...agarbatti
    BeautifulSurprise BeautifulSurprise 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    I have a phobia of German sausage.

    Yes, I fear the Wurst!
    w8ter w8ter 56-60, M 5 Responses Dec 18, 2015

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    I love to joke around,

    don't take my msgs. On this page seriously , only times I'm serious is when I'm driving, or when I lie to the judge. So plz don't take it literally .
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    My neighbor is experiencing really low self

    esteem right now, he got on one of those dating sites, when he was asked to create a username he typed myp&nis, the screen went red over the box and said "too short"
    aaron62 aaron62 46-50, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    KataraC KataraC 18-21, F 6 Responses Apr 21, 2015

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    The Vagina. The best engine in the world is

    the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size piston and it changes its own oil every 4 weeks. It is a pity thought that the management system is so fking temperamental.
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy 51-55, F 25 Responses Nov 10, 2015

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    The Skirt story   In a crowded city at a busy

    bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.  As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus, which now seemed a...
    NorgePrincess NorgePrincess 41-45, F 15 Responses Jan 7

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    When you cry laughing

    and your stomach gets tight...that's a top 5 feeling man.
    dmc313 dmc313 26-30, M 5 Responses Oct 29, 2015

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