people's expense. We had an Art teacher who simply didn't have very good people skills with grade school aged students. She didn't really enjoy or get along with most of the students.
One of her favorite expressions was, "Don't give me any lip service."
Us kids hadn't heard...
on Election day in November. She was my friend and sister (not biological) and knew everything about me..was there to witness everything. No one knew so much about my life or dysfunctional family.It's the kind of relationship that only comes once in a lifetime. During the last...
mix up all of the different foods being served in the school lunch that day and make it look as awful as possible. We'd then carry the resulting mess out to the playground in a small paper cup hidden away and unnoticed by any teachers. Once outside we'd decide the most strategic...
being around animals and manure all the time. I had a true talent for unintentionally stepping in any fresh manure wihin a mile of me and was always scraping my boots off to clean off the resulting mess. When I'm walking in barns I just accept the fact that I'll come out wearing...
A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the
Head with a frying pan.
"What was that for?" the man asked.
The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny
on it that I found in your pants pocket".
The man then said "When I was at the...
as being funny at all. But it can have its moments of being funny by mistake.
I was camping out alone one summer night at a campground way out in the boonies for only one night. I know how I have some very mild PTSD and will sometimes shout and talk and make strange noises in...
and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. “He fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”“No, no, darling,” replied the mother. “He must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”From Reader's Digest.
large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
Then her husband died.
She married again and had 7 more children.
Again, her husband died.
She remarried a 3rd time and had 5 more children.
After a long life, she finally died after having 25 children.
Standing before her coffin, the priest prayed for her.
He thanked the lord...
that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be...
and said,"When we were first married,I would come home from the office,my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.Now after ten years it's all different.I come home,the dog brings my slippers and my wife runs around barking...
- Abdul Al-Rhazim
- Three to five times a week.
- No, no.... I mean male or female?
- Yes, male, female.... sometimes camel
- Holy cow!!
- Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
- But isnt that hostile?
- Horse style, dog style, any style!
The man turned to him and said, " Lets talk."
Kid: "Ok, what do we talk about?"
Man ( making fun of the kid): " How about nuclear power?"
Kid: "Very interesting topic. But let me ask you a question.... Horse, cow and deer, all eat grass, y et deer excretes pellets, cow flat...
An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
programme about psychology which was explaining the phenomenon of " Mixed Emotions."
The husband turned to his wife and said, " That is an absolute bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."
The wife said: " Out of all...
On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. .
for math in high school who was high functioning but couldn't tell gag questions from real ones. My class was almost all guys and jocks that had lots of harmless gags and innocent fun with her. They'd get their friends to fill large mailing envelopes with shaving cream and...