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I Love a Good Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 49,577 People

    livelovehopefree livelovehopefree 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 21

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    Two factory workers talking: Woman: “I can

    make the boss give me the day off.” Man: “And how would you do that?” Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: “What are you doing?” Woman: “I’m a light bulb.” Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you...
    mag7rnd mag7rnd 36-40, F 3 Responses Feb 12

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    A little boy was sitting on the footpath with a

    bottle of Turpentine. He was shaking it up and watching all the bubbles. A Priest came along and asked the little boy what he had. The little boy said, 'This is the most powerful liquid in the world; it's called Turpentine.' The Priest said, 'No, the most powerful liquid in...
    PixiePat PixiePat 36-40 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I was having dinner at a very highly touted

    and expensive restaurant the other night. When the waiter asked in his most affected accent "How did you find your steak, sir?" I replied, "Simply by accident, I moved my baked potato and there it was!" Evidently waiters at pricey restaurants are not allowed a sense of humor!
    GJOFJ3 GJOFJ3 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 1

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    Outsmarted By A Woman

    When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I...
    Fr0z3nY0gurt Fr0z3nY0gurt 26-30, F 11 Responses Jul 24, 2013

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    Pass it on (from a new friend) Girl: *calls

    911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Girl: Two boys are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Girl: The ugly one is winning.
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 14 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 9 Responses Jul 21

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    SmellybottomEx123 SmellybottomEx123 46-50, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Dotty73 Dotty73 41-45, F 9 Responses Sep 20

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    Cold Weenie

    A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm...
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots 36-40, M 9 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    A Chick With Long Legs A man walks up to the

    bar with an ostrich behind him, and as he sits, the bartender asks for their order. The man says, "I'll have a beer" and turns to the ostrich. "What's yours?" "I'll have a beer too" says the ostrich. The bartender pours the beer and says "That will be $3.40 please," and the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 9 Responses Oct 13

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 11 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    The Job Applicant

    A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?" "Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not." "Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?" "I...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 7 Responses Jul 29, 2013

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    My 5 year old son has Charlie Brown pajamas,

    and he was wearing them this morning so I said, "Good morning, Charlie Brown!" His response was (with his R's making the /w/ and sometimes /h/ sound), "I am NOT Chahlie Bwown! I have tattoos and loads of haiw! Manliuh! Manliuh! Manliuh!!" That would be hair and manlier. He...
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 10 Responses Apr 6

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    My Dear Haters, i couldn't help

    but notice the " awesoME " end with "ME" and " Ugly " starts with "U" =p
    alx99 alx99 36-40, F Sep 20

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    4 stages of marriage -Mad

    for each other .Made for each other. Mad at each other Mad because of each other.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 7 Responses Sep 5

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    Reading The Paper

    I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks, "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 9 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    In Court

    A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing...
    nevernohow nevernohow 56-60, M 3 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    I know I post about my 6 yr old a lot,

    but he is just full of it. He laid down on me and felt the heat coming off my sunburn, so he said,"mama, you're hot. You're two kinds of hot!" And raised his little eyebrows at me. LOL lady killer in the making!
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 9 Responses Jul 24

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    Stop dreaming and start doing - me!

    Reminds of Red in the Shawshank Redemption - "Get busy living or getting busy dying."
    Blueeyedboy70i Blueeyedboy70i 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 1

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    What happens to a frog's car

    when it breaks down?It gets toad away.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 8 Responses Sep 8

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    A couple gets married.

    Forty years later, they're in the same hotel room they spent their honeymoon in. She takes her clothes, lies down on the bed, spread her legs ... and he starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Forty years ago, I couldn't wait to eat it, and now it looks like it...
    TamaraNakahara TamaraNakahara 22-25, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Anth9012 Anth9012 22-25, M 1 Response Oct 12

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    Penis Size

    A businessman boards a flight and is lucky enough to be seated next to an absolutely gorgeous woman. They exchange brief hellos and he notices she is reading a manual about sexual statistics. He asks her about it and she replies, this is a very interesting book about sexual...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 4 Responses Nov 1, 2011

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    Which condom would u use?

    ADT Condoms - Always thereAT&T Condoms - Reach out and touch someone; Rethink PossibleAllstate Condoms - You're in good handsAvis Condoms - Trying harder than everBounty Condoms - The quicker picker upperCalifornia Lotto Condoms - Who`s next?Campbell's Soup Condoms -  Mmm, Mmm...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 6 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    The Mile High Club

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. . Then...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 24 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    A judge asks a defendant to please stand.

    "You are charged with murdering a garbage man with a chain saw." From the back of the courtroom a man shouts, "You lying @@@@@@!" "Silence in the court!" The judge turns to the defendant again and says, "You are also charged with killing a paperboy with a shovel." "You so and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 28

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    If someone tells you.

    ..you're not Beautiful turn around and walk away, so they can have a great view of your fabulous ***! =)
    alx99 alx99 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 1

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    A well respected surgeon was relaxing on his

    sofa one evening just after arriving home from work. As he was tuning into the evening news, the phone rang. The doctor calmly answered it and heard the familiar voice of a colleague on the other end of the line. "We need a fourth for poker," said the friend. "I'll be right over...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    satyr1007 satyr1007 26-30, M 3 Responses Oct 8

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    I got a new black satin robe

    and wore it for the first time tonight. My little boy said,"what is this?" I told him it was my new pajamas. He said,"oh, mama. I love your new pajamas! They're so pretty and feel so good!" I said thank you and then he asked me to get him some so I told him I would see if I...
    notyourgirlfriday notyourgirlfriday 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 29

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    Hi for a good laugh. The other day I went to

    the store I was doing some shopping I think it was at one of those dollar stores. My guy dog. Decided that she too would do some shopping. The clerk told me you should check your dogs mouth and I did. She had picked up a lollipop and was sucking on it. I don't know what happened...
    sunney55 sunney55 46-50, M 3 days ago

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    I love the **** sucker bimbo.

    ... first she sucks his **** then its trashed all over the internet... hahahahahah
    SmellybottomEx123 SmellybottomEx123 46-50, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Yesterday something happened

    that made me laugh so hard and for a good while. Two friends of mine were busy teasing each other. One of them stopped the convo and said, "Raf you know something? Out of all the people I call "friends" who don't give a damn about me? I like him the most."
    RafaReu RafaReu 22-25, M Oct 9

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    Silly

    Alright, so the other day Ben and I were chatting, and I said, "I love you Ben." And he responded with, "I love you too, Ben." I died. O.O LOL, I was laughing for like 20 minutes. Tears running down my face, felt like my stomach was going to split open, had trouble breathing, but...
    MacabreFanatic MacabreFanatic 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Some people just need a sympathetic pat.

    ..on the head...with a HAMMER. =)
    alx99 alx99 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 12

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    A male patient is lying in hospital,

    wearing an oxygen mask over his nose. A young student nurse appears and gives him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse" he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know Sir, I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet...
    enlightenme2 enlightenme2 51-55, F 9 Responses Sep 1

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    fineststyles9 fineststyles9 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    HUSBAND'S MESSAGE: Hi Honey,

    I got hit by a car in the office parking lot. Paula took me to the hospital. They have conducted many tests and taken numerous x-rays. The blow to the head is serious and may have lasting effects. I have three broken ribs, a spinal injury, multiple lacerations, a broken...
    Guvna2106 Guvna2106 31-35, M 6 Responses Apr 28

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    Most times it feels good to laugh just

    for the sake of it. Somehow it helps us forget even for a moment the burden and the weight that we are carrying. It somehow makes us feel lighter and the lightness somehow brings us comfort that nothing can ever provide us at that very moment. Sometimes the things that are...
    zoiera zoiera 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 25

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    Nothing is better than having a good laugh.

    It makes everything better no matter what kind of situation you're in!
    ParkerFewer ParkerFewer 13-15, F Sep 18

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    Cheating Wife

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the...
    trilo2 trilo2 18-21, M 10 Responses Oct 31, 2011

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    Lol this 15 year old just message me asking me

    for a picture of my d**k. And i just laughted at her message and told her "go play with ur dolls lil kid" this site is not only filled with pervs but also horny lil inmature 15 year old girls.
    vinneh22 vinneh22 22-25, M 9 Responses Jul 7

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    I Am So Fricken Funny !!!

    Personally, I think that to laugh is the best medicine. When you smile you don’t cry. A good laughter kills all the stress and disappointment thus ,energizing you quickly. Laugh is like a magic. Laugh is just like catharsis. That is why, I simply love to make people laugh. I...
    Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 13 Responses Sep 3, 2012

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    Mother In Law After a husband

    and wife have a heated argument, the wife calls her mother. “He fought with me again! I’m coming over to live with you.”“No, no, darling,” replied the mother. “He must pay for his mistake. I’m coming to live with you.”From Reader's Digest.
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 10 Responses Sep 22

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    LELELELELELELELELELELELELELELEL!

    XD CHU FUNNY!!!!! XD I only like people who can make me laugh soo..... yea O.O
    0LOvEsHaTeRs0 0LOvEsHaTeRs0 13-15, F Sep 28

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    Here's a math problem!

    "Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X. She's never coming back and don't ask Y!"
    iEPeace iEPeace 26-30, F 3 Responses May 7

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    "White people should never play blues.

    What's there to be blue about? 'You're all out of Kahki's?' 'The espresso machine is jammed?' 'Hootie and the Blowfish are breaking up!?'
    Zack607 Zack607 22-25, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    A man talking to God: The man: “God,

    how long is a million years?” God: “To me, it’s about a minute.” The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?” God: “To me it’s a penny.” The man: “God, may I have a penny?” God: “Wait a minute.”
    mag7rnd mag7rnd 36-40, F 4 Responses Feb 12

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    Ethics

    A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. "Suppose a beautiful woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    GJOFJ3 GJOFJ3 56-60, M 2 Responses Oct 1

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