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I Love a Good Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 48,261 People

    How to make a Vodka Christmas cake.

    .1 cup sugar,1 tsp. baking powder,1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt ,1 cup brown sugar,Lemon juice,4 large eggs,Nuts,1......bottle Vodka,2 cups dried fruit.Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then...
    SweetKiester SweetKiester 36-40, F 5 Responses Dec 11, 2013

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    In Court

    A lady about seven months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing...
    nevernohow nevernohow 51-55, M 2 Responses Oct 17, 2013

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    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77 36-40, T 11 Responses Jul 16, 2013

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    Saturn's moon Titan has 100 times more oil

    than Earth? Sounds like Titan needs some freedom.
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 3 Responses Apr 4

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    Ethics

    A father is explaining ethics to his son, who is about to go into business. "Suppose a beautiful woman comes in and orders a hundred dollars worth of material. You wrap it up, and you give it to her. She pays you with a $100 bill. But as she goes out the door you realize she...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 5 Responses Oct 6, 2013

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    Silly

    Alright, so the other day Ben and I were chatting, and I said, "I love you Ben." And he responded with, "I love you too, Ben." I died. O.O LOL, I was laughing for like 20 minutes. Tears running down my face, felt like my stomach was going to split open, had trouble breathing, but...
    MacabreFanatic MacabreFanatic 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 20, 2012

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    Two nuns were riding there bikes through the

    city. One nun says " Lets cut down this street and save some time" They turned there bikes and rode down a cobblestone street. The other nun reply's " I never came this way before..." hahahaha
    AgingGracefully AgingGracefully 51-55, M Apr 4

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    When our librarian announced she was changing

    schools, a fellow teacher asked a student, “Why do you think Ms Richardson is leaving?” The little one opined, “Because she’s read all our books?” - See more at: http://www.readersdigest.co.in/Jokes/funniest#sthash.ozvaatQz.dpuf
    mona87 mona87 46-50, F 6 Responses Apr 2

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    Which condom would u use?

    ADT Condoms - Always thereAT&T Condoms - Reach out and touch someone; Rethink PossibleAllstate Condoms - You're in good handsAvis Condoms - Trying harder than everBounty Condoms - The quicker picker upperCalifornia Lotto Condoms - Who`s next?Campbell's Soup Condoms -  Mmm, Mmm...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 6 Responses Dec 24, 2013

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    A truck driver is driving along on the freeway.

    A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks around to the truck driver, puts his hands...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses Apr 10

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    After explaining the situation to his divorce

    lawyer, Mickey Mouse sat quietly. Mickey's divorce lawyer thumbed through the paperwork and finally looked up and said "I'm sorry Mickey, you can't divorce Minnie just because you think she's a little silly." Mickey replied "I didn't say she was silly, I said she was...
    KevNCat KevNCat 41-45 1 Response Jan 4

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Aircraft Maintenance Reports

    List of pilot-reported problems and the solutions the ground crew had for them. Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. Solution: Left inside main tire almost replaced. Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. Solution: Auto-land not installed on...
    SweetKiester SweetKiester 36-40, F 6 Responses Oct 22, 2013

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    WOMAN OVER RADIO: My husband is on a murderous

    rampage, over. COP: Well, thank god that's over. I was worried there for a second.
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 2 Responses Apr 10

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    Another Hilarious Joke I Must Share....

    here is another old joke that really really really cracked me up.😜👇 Clocks in Heaven A woman died and went to heaven. As she stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, she saw a huge wall of clocks behind her. She asked, "What are all those clocks?" St. Peter...
    MeinHerzschlag MeinHerzschlag 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    A city slicker moves to the country

    and decides he's going to start farming. He goes to the local co-op and tells the man, "Give me 100 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. A week later the man returns and says, "Give me 200 baby chickens." The co-op man complies. Again, a week later the man returns. This...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    If you ever feel stupid just remember

    that there's a guy that tried to high five a blind person.
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 2 Responses Feb 18

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    An Irishman is terribly overweight,

    so his doctor puts him on a diet. "I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for two weeks," the doctor ordered. "The next time I see you, you'll have lost at least five pounds." When the Irishman returns, he's lost nearly 20 pounds...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Apr 6

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    Jazz1423 Jazz1423 18-21, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    Outsmarted By A Woman

    When John found out he was going to inherit a fortune when his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with. So one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath away. "I...
    Fr0z3nY0gurt Fr0z3nY0gurt 26-30, F 10 Responses Jul 24, 2013

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    After the christening of his baby brother in

    church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home and I wanted to stay with you guys."
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    2 kids were deciding what game to play.

    One said "Lets play doctors and patients" The 2nd kid answered "Ok, you'll be the doctor, I'll sue".
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    What do you call a dog on the beach in summer?

    -A hot dog. Why do bananas use sunscreen?Because they peel.How do you mend a broken pumpkin?With a pumpkin patch.How do Eskimos make their beds? With sheets of ice and blankets of snow.
    mona87 mona87 46-50, F 9 Responses Jan 23

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    My 5 year old son has Charlie Brown pajamas,

    and he was wearing them this morning so I said, "Good morning, Charlie Brown!" His response was (with his R's making the /w/ and sometimes /h/ sound), "I am NOT Chahlie Bwown! I have tattoos and loads of haiw! Manliuh! Manliuh! Manliuh!!" That would be hair and manlier. He...
    lizzie2u lizzie2u 31-35, F 7 Responses Apr 6

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    Eight men have been at a mental hospital

    for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in charge takes them all into a room and with a ball pen draws a door on the wall and asks each one of the patients to try and open the door for...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    So True 😂👇👇👇 “A small boy asks

    his Dad, "Daddy, what is politics?" Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so...
    Miracle2Negrita Miracle2Negrita 13-15, F 5 Responses Mar 19

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    Two guys are hiking in the forest

    when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! One guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes! His friend says to him "You're crazy! There's no use, do you know how fast Grizzlies are, you'll never be able to out run it!" and his friend yells back , "I...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 3 Responses Apr 9

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    Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the

    door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone. I had to call multiple times before he would even answer the phone." Immediately, the husband drove downtown to confront the druggist and demand an apology...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Apr 6

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    Pass it on (from a new friend) Girl: *calls

    911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Girl: Two boys are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Girl: The ugly one is winning.
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 13 Responses Dec 8, 2013

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    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 12

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    chan50 chan50 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 6

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    Did you hear about the two radio antennas

    that got married? The wedding was terrible, but the reception was excellent!
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Apr 2

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    You know the kid who,

    after something funny happened in class, would still be giggling about it 10 minutes after? Yeah, that was me. I still do that today in everyday comical occurances at home/work/in public/etc. Lately however, I've realized just how important laughter is in my life and the world...
    InaudibleRage InaudibleRage 18-21, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    Ok math problem guys jimmy has 50 cakes

    and he eats 45 what does jimmy have ? Answer: Diabetes
    smilesarewarm4 smilesarewarm4 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 28

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    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 10 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    The Mile High Club

    On a passenger flight, the pilot comes over the public address system as usual and to greet the passengers. He tells them at what altitude they’ll be flying, the expected arrival time, and a bit about the weather, and advises them to relax and have a good flight.. . Then...
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 19 Responses Oct 4, 2013

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    A girl phoned my friend the other day

    and said ... "Come on over, there's nobody home." He went over. Nobody was home
    mona87 mona87 46-50, F 12 Responses Feb 4

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    Two factory workers talking: Woman: “I can

    make the boss give me the day off.” Man: “And how would you do that?” Woman: “Just wait and see.” She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. Boss comes in: “What are you doing?” Woman: “I’m a light bulb.” Boss: “You’ve been working so much that you...
    albanianw albanianw 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 12

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    Blonde Jokes Really Cracked Me Up.

    okay here's one of my favourite blonde jokes 👇👸 A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. Then one day she comes home and finds her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs...
    MeinHerzschlag MeinHerzschlag 36-40, F 7 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    HAAAAAAH HA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

    AHAAAAAAAAAAAA HA HA HA HA HA AHA. GAAAAAASP HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    epicmonk3ydude epicmonk3ydude 18-21, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    This day, i was on the bus,

    upstairs. And there was a guy in front seat opening up his tobacco tin, ready to roll a ciggie. ( at the time smoking was allowed). I watched as he balanced his tin on his knee, then the bus suddenly started with a jerk, his tin fell on the floor and the man verbalised his...
    hearts909 hearts909 51-55 Apr 6

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    The Job Applicant

    A job applicant was asked, "What would you consider to be your main strengths and weaknesses?" "Well," he began, "my main weakness would definitely be my issues with reality-telling what's real from what's not." "Okay," said the interviewer. "And what are your strengths?" "I...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jul 29, 2013

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    Nothing better than a good laugh!

    Even better is making someone else laugh, that makes my day! :D
    Thatredheadchick Thatredheadchick 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    Womennn ...

    There was a group of women gathered at a seminar on how to live in a loving relationship with your husband. The women were asked, 'How many of you love your husbands?' All the women raised their hands. Then they were asked, 'When was the last time you told your husband you...
    leavemehappy leavemehappy 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 21, 2013

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    Just sit back and listen to a five year old's

    conversation with himself or a friend. I may have the funniest kid ever.
    lizzie2u lizzie2u 31-35, F Apr 5

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    Cold Weenie

    A husband exclaims to his wife one day, "Your butt is getting really big. It's bigger than the BBQ grill!" Later that night in bed, the husband makes some advances towards his wife who completely brushes him off. "What's wrong?" he asks. She answers, "Do you really think I'm...
    SirLaughalots SirLaughalots 36-40, M 8 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    “Have you got any kittens going cheap?

    ” Asked a customer in a pet shop. “No, sir,” replied the owner. “All our kittens go “Meow.”
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Apr 7

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    What did the ocean say to the other ocean?

    Nothing, they just waved. Do you sea what I did there?
    fdt93 fdt93 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 6

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    TearfulNights22 TearfulNights22 22-25, F 7 Responses 2 days ago

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    Relationships are hard - it's like a full time

    job, and we should treat it like one. If your boyfriend or girlfriend wants to leave you, they should give you two weeks' notice. There should be severance pay, and before they leave you, they should have to find you a temp.
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 16, 2013

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    lexik123 lexik123 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 3

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    Where my eyes are pouring water

    and i have to hold my stomach? The best laugh.
    Caribbeanbeauty93 Caribbeanbeauty93 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    Reading The Paper

    I was on the subway, sitting on a newspaper, and a guy comes over and asks, "Are you reading that?" I didn’t know what to say. So I said yes. I stood up, turned the page, and sat down again.
    Myztikal Myztikal 36-40, F 10 Responses Oct 11, 2013

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    Who Taught You That? “Give me a sentence

    about a public servant,” the teacher instructed her second-grade student. “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant,” he answered. “Umm … Do you know what pregnant means?” “Yes,” said the boy. “It means 
carrying a child.” Earl B. Child, Roy, Utah Read...
    mona87 mona87 46-50, F 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    How to Find A Person with Common Interests You

    and Be Like (Girl)friends: Ex. 1: When both of you see the same picture that no one else understands or find repulsive (or no interest in) and both of you react the same way to that picture. Then, both of you gasp and (silently) exclaim, "You know? That's so cool!" in sync...
    DisembodiedLied DisembodiedLied 18-21, F Apr 6

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    I Am So Fricken Funny !!!

    Personally, I think that to laugh is the best medicine. When you smile you don’t cry. A good laughter kills all the stress and disappointment thus ,energizing you quickly. Laugh is like a magic. Laugh is just like catharsis. That is why, I simply love to make people laugh. I...
    Bolek Bolek 41-45, M 14 Responses Sep 3, 2012

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    Eat your school, stay in drugs,

    and don't do vegetables.
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 4 Responses Apr 5

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