I Love a Good Laugh

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    A married couple were arguing over a financial

    problem and the husband turns to his wife and says " You know after all these years I can't still don't understand how they could make you so beautiful and yet so dumb"! So the wife patiently responds " It really isn't that hard to figure out you see, they made me beautiful so...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Apr 21, 2015

    The Skirt story   In a crowded city at a busy

    bus stop, a beautiful young woman wearing a tight mini skirt was waiting for a bus.  As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus, which now seemed a...
    NorgePrincess NorgePrincess
    41-45, F
    11 Responses Jan 7

    My neighbor's a moron .

    . .he volunteers as a cross walk guard a couple days a week , now he tells people he is in human trafficking. . . .
    woodyinya woodyinya
    56-60, M
    4 Responses May 12, 2015

    I changed my password to "incorrect".

    So whenever I forget my password the computer will say "Your password is incorrect".
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    2 Responses Mar 23

    An elderly couple in their 70s are having

    trouble with remembering things so they decide to go to the doctor to see what he can do to help them with remember things better. He says, "well Mr. and Mrs. Smith, you have a mild case of short term memory loss, maybe you should start writing things down and see if that helps...
    belover0069 belover0069
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Feb 26

    Heal the world with your laughter,

    war isn't the answer
    martinez1993 martinez1993
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Apr 12

    Let's have the last laugh take the time to

    sign the petition to save EP...and while you drink you coffee spread the word to your friends https://www.change.org/p/ep-keep-ep-open-don-t-close-ep?recruiter=515242832&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink
    BytheBy BytheBy
    46-50, F
    1 Response Mar 24

    1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese.

    There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mom or my dad. Or my older brother Greg. Or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu. But I think it's Greg.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    When you cry laughing

    and your stomach gets tight...that's a top 5 feeling man.
    dmc313 dmc313
    26-30, M
    1 Response Oct 29, 2015
    KataraC KataraC
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Apr 21, 2015

    I was watching this dog show And they keep

    talking about ******* ahhaaaa and high quality ******* ahHhaaa HAD to laugh
    amnotthattired amnotthattired
    26-30, F
    Mar 22

    My grandfather had the heart of a Lion

    and a lifetime ban from the Central Park Zoo
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    I like to hold hands at the movies…

    which always seems to startle strangers.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    hai this is raj... I am 29yrs

    and my blood group is B+. i if anybody needs kidney I am ready to donate one of my kidney.. but I am in need of 25-30lakhs Indian rupees.. so if any one needs kidney can WhatsApp me on 9801116836.. pls don't call just WhatsApp
    babasai1 babasai1
    26-30, M
    Apr 7

    I have a phobia of German sausage.

    Yes, I fear the Wurst!
    w8ter w8ter
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Dec 18, 2015
    BiFurZak BiFurZak
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Apr 4

    The Vagina. The best engine in the world is

    the vagina. It can be started with one finger. It is self lubricating. It takes any size piston and it changes its own oil every 4 weeks. It is a pity thought that the management system is so fking temperamental.
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy
    51-55, F
    18 Responses Nov 10, 2015

    Young Love.

    A boy approached the girl's father and asked,"Sir,can I have your daughter's hand?"The father replied,"You might as well,since you've already had the rest of her." Hahahaha..just kidding!!!!😜
    teachocolate teachocolate
    41-45, F
    14 Responses Feb 9, 2015

    A study has revealed

    that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle. For example: if she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating or menopausal, she tends to be...
    expressomarkie expressomarkie
    46-50
    14 Responses Feb 3, 2015

    I hate Russian dolls,

    they’re so full of themselves.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    A man approached a very beautiful woman in a

    large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?" "Why?" "Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere."
    Sinjintiger Sinjintiger
    41-45, M
    4 Responses Feb 10, 2015

    What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

    He got the stuffing knocked out of him.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Nov 25, 2015

    A husband visited a marriage counsellor

    and said,"When we were first married,I would come home from the office,my wife would bring my slippers and our cute little dog would run around barking.Now after ten years it's all different.I come home,the dog brings my slippers and my wife runs around barking...
    teachocolate teachocolate
    41-45, F
    25 Responses Feb 7, 2015
    TameraaxO TameraaxO
    18-21, F
    1 Response Mar 23

    My dear friend of 43 years passed away suddenly

    on Election day in November. She was my friend and sister (not biological) and knew everything about me..was there to witness everything. No one knew so much about my life or dysfunctional family.It's the kind of relationship that only comes once in a lifetime. During the last...
    Oddandsingular Oddandsingular
    56-60, F
    10 Responses Feb 24, 2015

    A 1st grade school teacher presented each child

    in her classroom the 1st half of a well-known proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb... And these 6-year-olds came up with: It's always darkest before ... daylight saving time. Where there's smoke there's ... pollution. Don't bite the hand...
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767
    46-50, F
    6 Responses Sep 18, 2015

    I stayed at a very old hotel once.

    They had wake up letters.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    Highlight of tonight.

    .. Seeing a boy act like a hero to impress the pretty petite girl in the gym. So I go next to him, and do the exact same exercise his doing but, you guessed it, heavier 😈 Watching him walk away in shame was #priceless 😏 You're welcome pretty petite girl who could...
    Hearthbeat Hearthbeat
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Mar 25

    Cheating Wife

    A man was sitting reading his papers when his wife hit him round the Head with a frying pan. "What was that for?" the man asked. The wife replied "That was for the piece of paper with the name Jenny on it that I found in your pants pocket". The man then said "When I was at the...
    trilo2 trilo2
    18-21, M
    10 Responses Oct 31, 2011

    I woke up this morning

    and forgot which side the sun rises from, then it dawned on me.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    1 Response Mar 21

    The first time I got a universal remote control

    I thought to myself, “This changes everything”.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    I love people who make me laugh.

    I honestly think it's the thing I like the most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It's probably the most important thing in a person.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Apr 28, 2015

    I find it funny that 30-50 year old guys

    without profile pics and experiences all about sex message me and think im actually gonna reply 😂😂 dumbasses
    LiLJunie LiLJunie
    13-15, F
    6 Responses Jun 21, 2015

    my 5 yo niece told me this one today.

    "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it". I'm still smiling.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    9 Responses Feb 16, 2015

    Dear heart, please shut the **** up

    because what you?re feeling is a terrible, terrible idea, and it?s going to cause you endless amounts of pain. Thanks for trying, buddy, but no. --- (sinfulessentials.tumblr.com)
    miru1 miru1
    26-30, F
    Mar 21

    Dear Warner Brothers: Now

    that I'm an adult, I feel I'm am old enough to hear what the "Beep Beep" is hiding when Road Runner talks to Wile E. Coyote.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    9 Responses Apr 20, 2015

    Today a man knocked on my door

    and asked for a small donation towards the church swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    1 Response Mar 23
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    I met an avian drug dealer.

    He was determined to leave no tern unstoned
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    Gambling addiction hotlines would do

    so much better if every fifth caller was a winner.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    1 Response Mar 21

    A guy with a gun walks into a bar.

    "Who the fk had sex with my wife?" he snarled. A voice was heard in the background, " You don't have enough bullets mate!"
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy
    51-55, F
    8 Responses Nov 10, 2015

    I've learnt that the first lesson in laughter

    is to learn to laugh at Myself!! What do you say?
    atticusimoes atticusimoes
    36-40, M
    3 Responses Apr 14

    Elephant to the camel.

    "why do you have 2 boobs on your back?" Camel replies, " That's a silly question from someone who has a **** on his face. "
    SweetSynergy SweetSynergy
    51-55, F
    6 Responses Nov 10, 2015

    Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing

    through the leather straps.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    I just want to grab a fish out of my fish tank

    and slap a few people in the face with the fishes ***. 🐠🐠🐠🐠🐠
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    6 Responses May 14, 2015

    The Atheist And The Little Girl

    An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger." The little girl, who had just started to read her book, replied to the totalstranger...
    Aiyana77 Aiyana77
    36-40, T
    8 Responses Jul 16, 2013

    Regular sleep prevents old age.

    ... especially if u take them while driving... :P
    miru1 miru1
    26-30, F
    6 Responses Sep 17, 2015

    I used to be addicted to soap,

    but I'm clean now.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    1 Response Mar 23

    Woke up with my credit card lying on my

    keyboard. I can't wait to see what drunk me bought sober me.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere
    41-45, F
    8 Responses Apr 9, 2015
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    This was posted by a friend of mine about a

    year ago - She has already deleted her Account so won't mind me pinching it :) My job is so frikken unbelievable. I’ll try to sum it up by telling you about the people I work with… First there is this supermodel wannabe chick, yeah OK, she is pretty hot, but damn she is...
    Countdownson Countdownson
    51-55, M
    3 Responses Apr 1

    I got half way through eating a horse

    and thought, I'm not as hungry as I thought I was.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    Pass it on (from a new friend) Girl: *calls

    911* Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Girl: Two boys are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Girl: The ugly one is winning.
    ladyryan ladyryan
    41-45, F
    11 Responses Dec 8, 2013

    A guy goes to pick up his date

    for the evening. She's not ready yet, so he has to sit in the living room with her parents. He has a bad case of gas and really needs to releive some pressure. Luckly, the family dog jumps up on the couch next to him. He decides that he can let a little fart out and if...
    Baswm Baswm
    46-50, M
    5 Responses Dec 29, 2015

    I learned morse code

    as a kid. Tap dancers drive me crazy.
    Narragansett Narragansett
    70+, M
    Mar 23

    My 6 yr old son was laying on my leather couch

    this morning watching cartoons when suddenly he sighed really loudly and said, "Mama, there's no butter on my back!" I'm sorry, what? "There's no butter on my back! I keep sticking to the couch!!"
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    6 Responses Jul 21, 2014

    If sex doesn't involve at least a little bit of

    laughter, you might as well be praying.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    16 Responses Mar 5
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