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I Love Blonde Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 392 People

    Q: Why do blondes get confused in the ladies

    room? A: They have to pull their own pants down. [follow for more. No offense to Blondes ;) ]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her

    trip to England? A: She found out Big Ben is only a clock. [epic. No offense Blonde]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Twenty Five Cents

    A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench. After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles, but I just...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle

    and a blonde have in common? A: They both swallowed a lot of se(a)men. [no offense blondes,]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Q: Why is it okay for blondes to catch cold?

    A: They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out. [no offense Blondes.]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Two blondes fall in a hole,

    and one of them says," it's dark in here isn't it?" and the other one says,"I don't know, i can't see."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    A science teacher tells his class,

    "Oxygen is a must for breathing and life. It was discovered in 1773." A blonde student responds, "Thank God I was born after 1773! Otherwise I would have died without it."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 7 Responses May 27

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    There are three girls at a bar,

    a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. They have a seat at the bar. The bar tender says, "If you go into the bathroom there is a mirror. Look into the mirror and tell anything in your life that you believe is true. If you are telling the truth then "POOF" a hundred dollars pops...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 29, 2014

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    Q: What did the blonde say

    when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! they spelled MACYS wrong!" s
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13, 2014

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    I was a truck driver years ago.

    I was the only woman around the mines and quarries. Being a Blonde trucker too boot... I got harassed every day from one or more of the 50-60 men I drove the routes with. One day another driver came to me with two sheets of paper with allll these blonde jokes. The point was for...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 7 Responses May 29

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    Q: What did the blonde do

    when she heard that 90% of accidents occur around the home? A: She moved. [no offense blondes, I love you ;)]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Brunette: - Where were you born?

    Blonde: - California. Brunette: - Which part? Blonde: - All of me.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 18

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    Q: How do you keep a blonde in the shower all

    day? A: Give her a bottle of shampoo which says "lather, rinse, repeat." [folfow for more]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    A blonde is watching the news with her husband

    when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's horrible!" Confused, he replies, "Yes Dear, it is sad, but they were skydiving, and there is always that risk involved." After a few minutes, the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Mar 22, 2014

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    Q: What is the blonde doing

    when she holds her hands tightly over her ears? A: Trying to hold on to a thought.
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    A blonde, a brunette,

    and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The brunette goes first and laughs at the first step and is sent to hell. The redhead goes next and makes it to the seventh step...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Oct 19, 2014

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    Q: What do you call a blonde behind a steering

    while? A: An airbag. [no offense to Blonde darlings ;) . follow for more ]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of

    pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    A policeman pulls over a blonde driving

    erratically. As she gets out of the vehicle the officer says "You are staggering!" "Thank you" she replies "you are quite handsome yourself!"
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 2 Responses Mar 18

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    Blonde Geography

    Two blondes were sitting on a porch in Oklahoma looking up at the night sky. "Which do you think is closer?" says the one blonde to her friend, "The moon or Florida?" "Duh!," says her buddy, "You can't SEE Florida, now, can you?"
    swifty7 swifty7 31-35 2 Responses Mar 7, 2009

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    Q: Why did the blonde stare at frozen orange

    juice can for 2 hours? A: Because it said 'concentrate'.
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Q: Why blonde jokes are one liners ?

    A: So than people can remember them. [follow for more. No offense to dear blondes ;) ]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    Blonde With Top Down

    There were two blondes the just came out of the mall. As they walked through the parking lot, they remembered that they had left the keys in the car. Realizing that they were locked out, the blondes got a hanger and tried to open the door. Hard at work, the first blonde stopped...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Nov 12, 2013

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    Blonde: "What does IDK stand for?

    " Brunette: "I don’t know." Blonde: "OMG, nobody does!" [no offence to Blondes, follow for more ;) ]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    A trucker came into a truck stop cafe

    and placed his order. He said, "I want three flat tires, a pair of headlights and a pair of running boards." The brand new blonde waitress, not wanting to appear stupid, went to the kitchen and said to the cook, "This guy out there just ordered three flat tires, a pair of...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response Jun 22

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    dumblonde19 dumblonde19 18-21, F 4 Responses Jun 15

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    What Do You Call A Smart Blonde

    What do you call asmart blonde? A Golden Retriever
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 3, 2013

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    A police officer stops a blonde

    for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 1

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    A blonde woman decides

    that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 9, 2014

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    A blonde goes into a dry cleaners to clean her

    new blouse. She walks up to the counter and hands the cashier her top. When she turns around to leave they say "Come again!" With a smile and she turns around and explains, "No, it was ketchup this time."
    vividdreamer97 vividdreamer97 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 12, 2014

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    Blonde and Goldfish A blonde had some goldfish

    and she did not know how to feed them. So she called her brunette friend, and she showed her how. Once they were done feeding them, the blonde said, ''Now, what do I give them to drink?''
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 27, 2014

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    Q: How did the blonde die drinking milk?

    A: The cow fell on her. [no offense blondes :* ]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Ouch! A young blonde woman went to her

    doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 29, 2014

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    Q: Why did God give blondes 2 more brain cells

    than horses? A: So they don't **** in the parade. [follow for more.]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Q: Did you hear about the blonde

    who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 26

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    Once there was a blonde

    that went to work crying. The boss, who was concerned asked, "what's wrong?" She responded, "My mother died!" The boss offered her to take some time off of work. She denied the offer because she thought working would distract her. A few hours later, the boss came into her office...
    saboosa1 saboosa1 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 1, 2014

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    A blonde canvassed a wealthy neighborhood

    looking for odd jobs. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had anything for her to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" She replied, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her the paint was in the garage. A short time...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 14

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    A blond, brunette, and a redhead go hunting.

    The brunette goes into the woods and comes back out with a deer. They ask,"How did you get that deer?" She responded,"I saw the tracks. Followed the tracks. Saw the deer. Shot the deer," The redhead went into the woods and came out with a moose. They asked,"How did you get...
    Mokuba Mokuba 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 1, 2014

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    A blonde came home from her first day commuting

    to the city. Her mother noticed she was pale and asked,"Honey, are you feeling alright?" "Not really", she replied,"I'm nauseous from sitting backwards on the train." "Poor thing" her mother cooed,"but why wouldn't you ask the person sitting across from you to switch seats?" "I...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 25, 2014

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    Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde

    and bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been sighted. [follow for more]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?

    A: Because her boyfriend was also blond! [lol, no offence Blondes]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Q: Whats the difference between a blonde

    and a mosquito? A: When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking. [no offence blondes, follow for more]
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Magic Mirror

    There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror. If you told a lie it would suck you in. One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in. The next day a...
    misasja misasja 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 7, 2008

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    Blonde Horse Sense

    A blonde buys two horses and she can't tell them apart. So she asks the farmer next door what to do. He says to cut one of their tails off. So she does. But then the other horse's tail gets caught in a bush and rips off. So she can't tell them apart again. She asks the farmer...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Nov 7, 2013

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    Q: Did you hear about the blonde

    who tried to blow up her husband's car? A: She burned her lips on the tailpipe.
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    A dumb blonde was bragging about her knowledge

    of the state capitals of the United States. She proudly announced, "Go ahead, ask me any of the capitals, I know all of them." A red head said, "O.K., what's the capital of Wyoming?" The blonde replied, "Oh, that's easy, 'W'."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Feb 5

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    There was two dumb blonds

    that was walking down the street and they find a mirror and one of them picks it up and looks in it and says that face looks familiar. then the other blond takes it from her and says duh its me.