Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
after being swallowed by a killer whale.......
See answer in comments. Thanks EPAllie.
of capitol punishment called 'Lethal Ejection'. It's where Chuck Norris throws the death row inmate through the side door of a Boeing 737 at 35,000 feet.
for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of beard.
would be called Chuck Norris Won.
......Home walks to him!!
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
swallowed by a Killer Whale......He kicks and punches until he's all pooped out.
because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
for fun. The fun looks for Chuck Norris.
or low tides, gravity just follows Chuck Norris everywhere he goes.
he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in his class to Chuck, in his honor.
because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
a light bulb? None. Just threatening to call Chuck makes the light bulb want to change on its own.
For reasons I cannot remember (probably just to mess with my him), when I was 10 I told my 6 year old brother that our father was Chuck Norris incognito. I'm sure I made up an elaborate tale of sorts, explaining why the Texas Ranger had moved to Ohio and started a family as a...
basement. He gave them away and they are now known as lightsabers.
the candy bar gets a cavity.
Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
c8lorraine started it......
a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes
And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms.........
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him.
Chuck Norris bites frost.
he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
when Chuck Norris stared at corn kernels.
31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
lights go out, when Chuck Norris claps twice the sun goes out.
because of its heat, it was named Death Valley because Chuck Norris has a summer home there.
he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
because the devil is scared of him.
if he was a RPG character: his roundhouse kick and beard beat any item.
and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
only using sign language.
contest, Chuck Norris showed his sportsmanship by leaving Paul a sapling in the now-deforested field.