Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of beard.
would be called Chuck Norris Won.
he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
contest, Chuck Norris showed his sportsmanship by leaving Paul a sapling in the now-deforested field.
fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
if he was a RPG character: his roundhouse kick and beard beat any item.
After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
when Chuck Norris stared at corn kernels.
with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
for fun. The fun looks for Chuck Norris.
because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
a light bulb? None. Just threatening to call Chuck makes the light bulb want to change on its own.
because the devil is scared of him.
......Home walks to him!!
for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
of capitol punishment called 'Lethal Ejection'. It's where Chuck Norris throws the death row inmate through the side door of a Boeing 737 at 35,000 feet.
the candy bar gets a cavity.
he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in his class to Chuck, in his honor.
Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
only using sign language.
or low tides, gravity just follows Chuck Norris everywhere he goes.
For reasons I cannot remember (probably just to mess with my him), when I was 10 I told my 6 year old brother that our father was Chuck Norris incognito. I'm sure I made up an elaborate tale of sorts, explaining why the Texas Ranger had moved to Ohio and started a family as a...
Chuck Norris bites frost.
when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
basement. He gave them away and they are now known as lightsabers.
because of its heat, it was named Death Valley because Chuck Norris has a summer home there.
Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
after being swallowed by a killer whale.......
See answer in comments. Thanks EPAllie.
lights go out, when Chuck Norris claps twice the sun goes out.
because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
c8lorraine started it......
a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes
And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms.........
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him.
swallowed by a Killer Whale......He kicks and punches until he's all pooped out.