Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Chuck Norris Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 362 People

    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.

    His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March

    31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    nutssquared nutssquared 26-30, M May 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris is the reason

    why Waldo is hiding.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris was supposed to play the lead role

    in Mission: Impossible. He was replaced by Tom Cruise because the tittle wouldn't make any sense.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 11

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The reason it rains is Chuck Norris scared the

    clouds, and they wet themselves.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey,

    a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some men cut themselves shaving,

    Chuck Norris makes razorblades go rusty.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When you click on Chuck Norris' website,

    a warning comes up saying, "Clicking on this could cause your computer to explode."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris bid more

    than the lady and bought the Stairway to Heaven.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 36 mins ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The reason it rains is

    because water wants to be closer to Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris doesn't walk home.

    ......Home walks to him!!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris once went to court

    for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Mar 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris once made a joke,

    unfortunately everyone around him died of laughter!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris won American Idol,

    only using sign language.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 28, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response May 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everywhere Chuck Norris goes,

    it's night, because the Sun is afraid of Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis are not dead.

    ..They are just hiding from Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some people get lucky

    and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four dead birds didn't think so either.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris blew out a right front tire on his

    truck. To fix the problem he simply leaned to the left.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 29

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris had six kids,

    they were called SEAL TEAM 6
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In an average living room there are 1,

    242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris Can Slam a Revolving Door

     c8lorraine started it...... http://www.experienceproject.com/uw.php?e... a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes   And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms......... Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him. The...
    animalrescue animalrescue 46-50, M 16 Responses Jul 10, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris took a wrong turn at the zoo

    and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris caught a cold

    and made it sick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim.

    His bullets just know better than to miss.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 5

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Chuck Norris was in middle school,

    his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
    NarutoShippudenFanGirl NarutoShippudenFanGirl 13-15, F May 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Chuck Norris turned 18,

    his parents moved out.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Apr 20, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris has a diary.

    It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If you ever catch your kid watching a Chuck

    Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Sweating bullets" is literally what happens

    when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Chuck Norris is not allowed in hell

    because the devil is scared of him.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The earth spins only

    because Chuck Norris is running westwards.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On Mortal Combat Chuck Norris only has 1 move,

    roundhouse kick, but it's 1 hit kill.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 10

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When Chuck Norris eats a candy bar,

    the candy bar gets a cavity.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You dont google Chuck Norris

    because one hit is fatal.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Apr 28

    Your Response

    Pl