Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
contest, Chuck Norris showed his sportsmanship by leaving Paul a sapling in the now-deforested field.
because the devil is scared of him.
To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
fleeing from Chuck Norris. Not to be outdone, Chuck Norris invented the car accident.
he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
because of its heat, it was named Death Valley because Chuck Norris has a summer home there.
with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
basement. He gave them away and they are now known as lightsabers.
the candy bar gets a cavity.
only using sign language.
a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
or low tides, gravity just follows Chuck Norris everywhere he goes.
......Home walks to him!!
would be called Chuck Norris Won.
when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
if he was a RPG character: his roundhouse kick and beard beat any item.
because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
after being swallowed by a killer whale.......
See answer in comments. Thanks EPAllie.
for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
when Chuck Norris stared at corn kernels.
31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
For reasons I cannot remember (probably just to mess with my him), when I was 10 I told my 6 year old brother that our father was Chuck Norris incognito. I'm sure I made up an elaborate tale of sorts, explaining why the Texas Ranger had moved to Ohio and started a family as a...
c8lorraine started it......
a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes
And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms.........
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
for fun. The fun looks for Chuck Norris.
and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of beard.
a light bulb? None. Just threatening to call Chuck makes the light bulb want to change on its own.
lights go out, when Chuck Norris claps twice the sun goes out.
Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
Chuck Norris bites frost.
it's night, because the Sun is afraid of Chuck Norris.
of capitol punishment called 'Lethal Ejection'. It's where Chuck Norris throws the death row inmate through the side door of a Boeing 737 at 35,000 feet.
swallowed by a Killer Whale......He kicks and punches until he's all pooped out.
Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in his class to Chuck, in his honor.