Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in his class to Chuck, in his honor.
the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
the dice land he always gets a yhatzee........ALWAYS
he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
because the devil is scared of him.
throws it in the air and roundhouse kicks it.
he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
actually Chuck Norris's beard!
explosion without the Mentos...or the Diet Coke.
and Kate Middletons Bux and Hens night. He is also the wedding singer, DJ, and flower girl.
only using sign language.
it's night, because the Sun is afraid of Chuck Norris.
that he can lock a drawer and leave the key inside.
...... and broke its' foot.
31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris may be used as a floatation device.
sharks put up beach closures.
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
For reasons I cannot remember (probably just to mess with my him), when I was 10 I told my 6 year old brother that our father was Chuck Norris incognito. I'm sure I made up an elaborate tale of sorts, explaining why the Texas Ranger had moved to Ohio and started a family as a...
......Home walks to him!!
To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
the candy bar gets a cavity.
and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
of capitol punishment called 'Lethal Ejection'. It's where Chuck Norris throws the death row inmate through the side door of a Boeing 737 at 35,000 feet.
Chuck Norris ate $723 dollars, 2 train stations, a get-out-of-jail-free card, and the banker.
when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
c8lorraine started it......
a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes
And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms.........
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him.