Personal Stories, Advice, and Support
basement. He gave them away and they are now known as lightsabers.
for a crime, the judge pleaded guilty.
contest, Chuck Norris showed his sportsmanship by leaving Paul a sapling in the now-deforested field.
it's night, because the Sun is afraid of Chuck Norris.
with bottles. He single leggedly disarmed all three whilst kicking them all in the face at the same time.
c8lorraine started it......
a whole page of Chuck Norris Jokes
And I am adding some more rib tickling Chuckisms.........
Chuck Norris died 20 years ago. Death just never had the guts to tell him.
a light bulb? None. Just threatening to call Chuck makes the light bulb want to change on its own.
31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
wise man. He gave baby Jesus the gift of beard.
For reasons I cannot remember (probably just to mess with my him), when I was 10 I told my 6 year old brother that our father was Chuck Norris incognito. I'm sure I made up an elaborate tale of sorts, explaining why the Texas Ranger had moved to Ohio and started a family as a...
a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
lights go out, when Chuck Norris claps twice the sun goes out.
To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
or low tides, gravity just follows Chuck Norris everywhere he goes.
of capitol punishment called 'Lethal Ejection'. It's where Chuck Norris throws the death row inmate through the side door of a Boeing 737 at 35,000 feet.
he's telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
because the devil is scared of him.
he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
when Chuck Norris stared at corn kernels.
and found himself in with Brutus the nasty Silverback Gorilla. Brutus was then seen politely showing Chuck to the exit door.
because of its heat, it was named Death Valley because Chuck Norris has a summer home there.
the candy bar gets a cavity.
Norris movie, check him the next day for beard stubble.
he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in his class to Chuck, in his honor.
when he walks, the universe just moves around him.
because the stars believe this way will be safer from Chuck Norris.
the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
because he only recognizes the element of surprise.