Einstein's theory of relativity is wrong. Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicks CAN exceed the speed of light.
Chuck Norris walks into a bar................ Now it's called Chucks!
Chuck Norris can blink his eyes without closing his eyelids.
Once, during a game of Monopoly, Chuck Norris ate $723 dollars, 2 train stations, a get-out-of-jail-free card, and the banker.
When you are watching Walker Texas Ranger and you just think of changing the channel Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick you through the TV.
Everyone loves a slinky, except Chuck Norris. They were invented because they used to be straight metal rods but curled up in fear of Chuck Norris.
When Chuck Norris goes in the ocean, sharks put up beach closures.
The burning bush that Moses spoke of was actually Chuck Norris's beard!
Chuck Norris stuffs lockers into bullies!
An elephant stomped on Chuck Norris ....... and broke its' foot.
Chuck Rulz the effin world!!
Lmao......he's the man biatches!!
Chuck Norris doesn't laugh, he chuckles.
Chuck Norris was once in a knife fight. The knife lost.
Chuck Norris can sit in Sheldon's spot
Chuck Norris' daughter lost her virginity. He got it back.
Chuck Norris doesn't shy from some lame eye in the sky.
No man can perfectly predict the weather, not even Chuck Norris. But the weather DOES try to predict what kind of day Chuck would like to have...
For Chuck Norris, every street is "one way". HIS WAY.
Normal people are able to 'Poke' other people on Facebook. Chuck Norris is the only one able to click 'Round House Kick' on others.
Chuck Norris has the key to any door..... his foot.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Chuck Norris can make apples from apple juice