Q: What's the difference between REM and Chuck Norris?
A: One sings "Everybody Hurts", the other just hurts everybody.
Chuck Norris' beard was a stunt double in Die Another Day
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey, he eats bees.
Chuck Norris doesn't walk home.......Home walks to him!!
Madonna was a quiet unassuming virgin before her date with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris wears a cowboy hat to protect the sun from him.
Chuck Norris broke the sound barrier with the Goodyear blimp.
Chuck Norris once punched a hurricane in its eye.
Joe Namath felt safe making his Super Bowl III guarantee because Chuck Norris said the Jets would win.
Chuck Norris won American Idol, only using sign language.
Freddy Krueger has nightmares about Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris holds birth certificates in all 50 states.
“My first time I jacked off, I thought I'd invented it. I looked down at my sloppy handful of junk and thought, This is going to make me rich.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Choke
I think I'm obsessed with this show, I didn't even know it was possible, I love chuck and Sarah's relationship
Oh man! The big boss, with Bruce lee, way of the dragon when Bruce lee kill chuck Norris, fist of fury, ip man, blood and bone with Michael jai white, no more mr nice guy with...
A blind man once stepped on Chuck Norris' shoe. Chuck replied, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Chuck Norris!" The mere mention of his name cured this man blindness. Sadly the first...
I'm am in love with this show, I never watched it when it was running on TV , I come across it about a month ago on Netflix , watched the pilot and I was hooked, the main reason I...
Chuck Norris is a man of few words. Chuck Norris is not a man of few roundhouse kicks to the face.
Chuck Norris' pet piranha, Steve, likes to catch fresh Rainbow Trout for Chuck.
On April 17, 1953, Mickey Mantle hit a home run that traveled about 565 feet.
Chuck Norris matched that feat the next day.
Chuck was 13 years old at the time.
There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris' computer. Chuck Norris is always in control.
Chuck Norris eats out only at buffets; no one serves Chuck Norris and lives.
Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Santa... Santa believes in Chuck Norris!!
A Chuck Norris edition of Clue was to be released, but the answer was always: "Chuck Norris. In The Library. With a Roundhouse Kick."
They once named a street after Chuck Norris, but they had to close it down because no one dared cross Chuck Norris.
Fear is not the only emotion Chuck Norris can smell. He can also detect hope, as in “I hope I don’t get a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris.”
Suppose that we only knew Shakespeare from his hundred plus sonnets. based on these alone, obviously he would still be recognized as one of the greatest poets in the English...
I love my chucks but since I work during the week I don't get to wear them enough to break them in. What breaks them in (especially the heels) fastest; just wearing them a lot?