Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd. No one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't step on toes. Chuck Norris steps on necks.
Superman wears Chuck Norris pajamas.
In a fight between Batman and Darth Vader, the winner would be Chuck Norris.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
Chuck Norris is the reason NWA ran Straight Outta Compton
When Chuck Norris crosses the steet the cars have to look both ways.
Chuck Norris went looking for a rabbit in a forest. He came out with a bear and the bear was saying "I'm a rabbit, I'm a rabbit".
Inertia is a property of Chuck Norris.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four...
In the X-Men movies, none of the X-Men super-powers are done with special effects. Chuck Norris is the stuntman for every character.
Chuck Norris injected his blood into a monkey, a fish, and a lizard. They are now known as King Kong, Jaws, and Godzilla.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his room, the bears not dead it's just afraid to move.
When Chuck Norris does a push up, he doesn't push up. He pushes the world down.
Chuck Norris brushes his teeth with a mixture of iron shavings, industrial paint remover, and wood-grain alcohol.
Chuck Norris doesn't bowl strikes, he just knocks down one pin and the other nine faint.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a pillow under his gun.
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, scissors beat paper, but Chuck Norris beats all three at the same time.
"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
Chuck Norris has already been to Mars; that's why there are no signs of life there.
Chuck Norris once roundhoused a horse in the chin and from then on, its decendents were known as giraffes!
Chuck Norris can cook minute rice in 30 seconds.
God didn't make all men equal, but Samuel Colt did... then God made Chuck Norris
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
The leading causes of death in the United States are:
1. Heart disease
2. Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris is the reason why the chicken crossed the road.
Chuck Norris has a bear rug in his den. The bear isn't dead- just afraid to move.
The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there; then the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.
As a kid, Chuck Norris made his dad go to his room.
Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
Thousands of years ago Chuck Norris came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its descendents now have white...
Kids go to sleep with a teddy bear. Chuck Norris goes to sleep with an actual bear.
Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.