When ghosts go camping, they sit around the fire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
Chuck Norris once won the Kentucky Derby, riding a hungry lion.
Chuck Norris doesn't have good aim. His bullets just know better than to miss.
When you watch "Walker, Texas Ranger" on T.V. that is actually Chuck Norris doing a live renactment.
The earth spins only because Chuck Norris is running westwards.
The shark in Jaws, the piranha in the Piranha movie and the crocodile in Lake Placid,etc. are all trained pets of Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris is not allowed in hell because the devil is scared of him.
If Chuck Norris were an ice cream he would melt the spoon.
On Mortal Combat Chuck Norris only has 1 move, roundhouse kick, but it's 1 hit kill.
The cast of G.I. Joe watched Chuck Norris when they were children.
Some people get lucky and kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris once killed four birds with half a stone. What's that? You say there's no such thing as half a stone? The four...
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
Superman can leap tall buildings in a single bound -- if he's riding piggyback on Chuck Norris.
"Sweating bullets" is literally what happens when Chuck Norris gets too hot.
Chuck Norris' beard was a stunt double in Die Another Day.
Chuck Norris can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
Godzilla was Chuck Norris' pet fish
Chuck Norris Silenced the Lambs.
Wo hu cang long. The translation from Mandarin Chinese reads: "Crouching Chuck, Hidden Norris".
Jimmy Hoffa and Elvis are not dead...They are just hiding from Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris bid more than the lady and bought the Stairway to Heaven.
Chuck Norris kicked a hole through his shoe while wearing it.