When the president pushes the big red button Chuck Norris's cell phone rings.
The only reason aliens were able to destroy the Earth in Independence Day was because Chuck Norris had the day off.
Chuck Norris dosen't get frost bite, he bites frost.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him. Pirates never were very...
Chuck Norris does not do push ups, he pushes the Earth down.
Chuck Norris shoves coal up his butt, and sneezes out diamonds.
One of my instructors has actually changed my name in...
CNN has the best coverage because it was invented by Chuck Norris. It stands for the Chuck Norris Network.
Chuck Norris travels at lightspeed daily, he calls it normal speed, to him we move slow.
my story. The biking adventure this is how it happened me and Chuckie were riding our bikes up the hill (I don't know where I got the idea from) and in the midst of riding I fell...
Chuck Norris is so fast that he can lock a drawer and leave the key inside.
Chuck Doesn't Need To Switch On The Treadmill To Run On It.......When He Runs On It, The Treadmill Itself Starts Moving!
When someone fires a gun at Chuck Norris, the gun won't fire. not even a gun would try to attack Chuck Norris
New York wears an I love Chuck Norris t-shirt.
When Chuck Norris plays yhatzee no matter how the dice land he always gets a yhatzee........ALWAYS
Chuck Norris doesn't go running, Chuck Norris goes chasing.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Chuck Norris was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris' favorite color is Chuck Norris
What is a dragon? a combination of Chuck norris and a T-Rex. Chuck Norris breathes fire and can fly,a T-rex has small arms
Chuck Norris will be hosting Prince William and Kate Middletons Bux and Hens night. He is also the wedding singer, DJ, and flower girl.
I went into a hardware store and asked for a chuck norris , i walked out with diamond tipped 9 inch grinding disc and a broken jaw.
Chuck Norris doesnt wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
Chuck Norris sleeps in the light; not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of him.