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I Love Corny Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 436 People

    Drive Thru

    A man comes up through the drive thru...it's late at night........ The man working inside comes on the loudspeaker "Can I help you?" "Yes,"says the gentleman in the car,"I would like a cheeseburger and fries." "Sorry sir, we are out of fries." "Ok,"he says,"I would like a...
    humptyback humptyback 41-45, M 4 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Two antennas got married.

    The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses May 27

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair...
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Q: What did the traffic light say

    when it stayed red?? A: You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 24

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    Starbucks is cheap...

    Compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!XD
    onionheart16 onionheart16 26-30, F 1 Response a week ago

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 23

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    Q: What did the grape say

    after the elephant sat on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 23

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    Poli-sci 101

    A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?"Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take...
    JeremyMack JeremyMack 18-21, M Oct 9, 2013

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 27

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    Once there was a Chicken

    who went into a library and said: "Book Book" and the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned and again said: "Book Book" and once more the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. The Chicken returned AGAIN and the Librarian thought "After I give this...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 11 Responses Mar 18

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 24

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    A wife buy a dozen underwear of the same color

    for her hubby. The hubby protested saying " why buy me the same color? People will think I never change underwear! Wife asked," which people? There was total silence.😂
    Lovesweetlove Lovesweetlove 26-30, F Jun 22

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 24

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    Emiliodecker Emiliodecker 16-17, M Jun 24

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    Why couldn't the bicycle stand?

    Because he was too tired!
    WhatABeautifulMess97 WhatABeautifulMess97 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    A husband takes the wife to a night club.

    There’s aguy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works! The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!” The husband says, “Looks to me like he’s still...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 26-30, F Feb 4

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    A preacher visits an elderly woman from his

    congregation. As He sits on the couch he notices a large bowl of peanuts on the cofee table" mind if I have a few ?" He asks. "No, not at all the. Woman replied. They chat for an hour and the preacher stand to leave, he realize instead of eating just a few peanuts, he emptied...
    Lovesweetlove Lovesweetlove 26-30, F Jun 14

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    Daddy, where did I come from?

    From the stork omg daddy, you do screw everything
    Germancowboy Germancowboy 56-60, M Jun 25

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    So, Two Atoms...

    Two atoms bump into each other..the first atom says to the second atom, "are you ok?" The second atom says, "no, I lost an electron!" The first atom asks, "are you sure?" and the second atom replies "Yeah, I'm positive!" :P
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 10 Responses Dec 4, 2011

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    In beauty contest or pageant Host:contestant

    no.1 what will you do if your boyfriend have an AIDS.. Ms.philippines: thank you for that wonderful question...I do believe that Age doesn't matter I thank you.. Lolz... Corny corny corny hahah😅😅 Love it...
    Lovesweetlove Lovesweetlove 26-30, F 1 Response May 15

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    Q: Why did the cowboy adopt a weiner dog?

    A: He wanted to get a long little doggy!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 23

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    Little Johnny asks his father

    for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.” Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 26-30, F 3 Responses Jan 23

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    Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

    A: He wanted to lift his spirits.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27

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    PsychoSkittles PsychoSkittles 18-21, F Jun 10

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    Old man says" losing hair is not about hair

    loss, it's about face gain. One day I will have a face a whole head of face.
    onionheart16 onionheart16 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    A bear and rabbit were ******** in the woods,

    the bear turned to the rabbit and asked "does **** stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied "no" So the bear picked him up and wiped his *** with him....
    funtobehad35 funtobehad35 36-40, M 5 days ago

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    The Little Green Snake

    Snakes also known as Garter Snakes(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of themindoors to protect them from a...
    NoahBody123 NoahBody123 51-55 1 Response Apr 12, 2013

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    .. Joke Time.. (Love)

    guy: Ms. are you made up of COPPER and TELLURIUM? Lady: Oh why.?? (wondering..?) Guy: because you're so..... ............CuTe....... Lady: oh, sweet.. ;) (corny..hehe)
    Ashlez32 Ashlez32 31-35, F 4 Responses Oct 25, 2013

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    WhatABeautifulMess97 WhatABeautifulMess97 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    Q: What's the longest word in the dictionary?

    A: Rubber-band -- because it streches.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 17

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    Money changes things 😊 Mistress:honey,

    when will you going to tell your wife that you're going to leave her? Husband:today,I will tell to my wife Mistress:really? Husband :yes, I am sure,no one can stop me,I don't love my wife anymore,you're the one I really love now,I will tell her I don't like her anymore ( husband...
    Lovesweetlove Lovesweetlove 26-30, F Jun 11

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    1. What did the plate say to the other plate?

    A: Dinner's on me! 2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: Where's popcorn? 3. What do you call an abusive egg? A: An egg beater 4. What did the carrot say to the other carrot? A: Don't you carrot at all for me anymore? 5. Why was the priest so upset because of...
    mguinm mguinm 41-45, F 8 Responses Apr 26

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    My friend recently got crushed by a pile of

    books, but he’s only got his shelf to blame.
    TheCunylinguist TheCunylinguist 41-45, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    SIRROM88 SIRROM88 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    What did the grape say

    when it was crushed? Nothing it just let out A little wine
    skyleryounger skyleryounger 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    Q: Why don't you play cards in the Savanna?

    A: Because there are a lot of cheetahs.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27

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    Do you know why they started naming Hurricanes

    after Men? They figured the storms would never get past the Virgin Islands....
    Davido57 Davido57 56-60, M Jul 3

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    Did you hear about the crab

    that went to the Disco? He pulled a mussel.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27

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    6/14/14 I still remember the jokes we told

    as kids. They still make me giggle. Guess I'm still a kid , mostly. How do you catch a Polar Bear? ans.... Go to Alaska. Cut a big hole in the ice. Place peas around the hole. When the Bear comes to take a pea............. you kick him in the ice-hole. LOL...
    minimeowz minimeowz 61-65, F 1 Response Jun 13

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    Best one I've seen today

    while browsing.
    Emiliodecker Emiliodecker 16-17, M Jun 24

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    “Mom, can I have an animal cracker?

    ” asked 3 year old Bob. “Sure Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.” Forty five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen. “Bob, why’d you spill out all of the animal crackers, and what are you looking for?” “It said on the box not to...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 26

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    10 FACTS 1. You can't wash your eyes with

    soap 2. You can't count your hair 3. You can't breath through your nose with your tongue out 4. You just tried no. 3 6. When you did no. 3 you realized it's possible, only you look like a dog. 7. Your smiling right now,because you we're fooled 8. You skipped no. 5 9. You...
    Lovesweetlove Lovesweetlove 26-30, F 2 Responses May 16

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    The Birds And The Bees

    A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees. 'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears. 'Promise me you won't tell me.' Confused, the father asked what was wrong. The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter...
    JeremyMack JeremyMack 18-21, M Aug 15, 2013

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    RMDk RMDk 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 17

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    Related Experiences

    A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Hehe 😄🙈✋🍟🍝🍝. Ya i ate , nd i love anti jokers
    sunnynight15 sunnynight15 18-21, F Jul 20

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    Bad Boomerang Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A: A stick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    The Firm - Star Trekkin' 
    SAandME SAandME 46-50, M Jun 29

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    Fast Food Rockers - Fast Food Song 
    SAandME SAandME 46-50, M Jun 29

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    Telly Savalas - If 
    SAandME SAandME 46-50, M Jun 29

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    Peter Sellers - Any Old Iron 
    SAandME SAandME 46-50, M Jun 29