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I Love Corny Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 890 People

    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was

    visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2, 2015

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    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 3 Responses May 6, 2015

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    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    Little Johnny asks his father

    for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.” Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 31-35, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2014

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    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2015

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    So my friend told me this joke

    and I thought it was a really good play on words. The joke is Why was the snowman lonely? Because there was snowone to play with! Haha get it hehe. Idek but when she told me this I started laughing lol
    LittleBallOfFire LittleBallOfFire 13-15, F 1 Response May 28, 2015

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    Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

    It runs in your jeans!
    msilver msilver 18-21, F Nov 13, 2014

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    Bill and Hillary are at a restaurant.

    The waiter tells them tonight's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish. "The chicken sounds good, I'll have that," Hillary says. The waiter nods: "And the vegetable?" he asks. "Oh, HE'll have the fish." Hillary replies.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses May 30, 2015

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    I named my iPod, The Titanic.

    Now it's syncing!
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 4, 2015

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    Why did the tomato blush?

    It saw the salad dressing!
    msilver msilver 18-21, F Oct 26, 2014

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    Don't use straighteners!

    They're a waste of money. I've been using one for 3 weeks now and I'm still gay.
    msilver msilver 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    A bear and rabbit were ******** in the woods,

    the bear turned to the rabbit and asked "does **** stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied "no" So the bear picked him up and wiped his *** with him....
    funtobehad35 funtobehad35 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish?

    Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 5 Responses Jan 14, 2015

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    Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

    A: He wanted to lift his spirits.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses May 27, 2014

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    Why do fish like saltwater?

    Because pepper makes them sneeze xD
    orsoliz orsoliz 18-21, F 1 Response May 23, 2015

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    What did the psychiatrist say

    when a man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap walked into his office? I can clearly see you're nuts!
    msilver msilver 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

    It's impossible to put down
    msilver msilver 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2014

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    Q: What did the grape say

    after the elephant sat on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses May 23, 2014

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    SIRROM88 SIRROM88 22-25, M Jul 21, 2014

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    did you hear about the premature ejaculator?

    .. Yeah, he came out of nowhere.
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    QUOTES TAKEN FROM ACTUAL FEDERAL EMPLOYEE

    PERFORMANCE EVALUATIONS: 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity." 3. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 4. "This employee is really not so much...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response Jun 22, 2015

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    A couple in Russia were arguing about the

    weather. "It's rain!" said the husband. "No, it's snow," replied the wife. They then saw Rudolph, an intelligent communist, and they decided to ask him. "Excuse me, Mr Rudolph," asked the husband, "can you tell us what the weather is doing?" "It's raining, sir." Rudolph replied...
    lynnealine lynnealine 18-21, F May 31, 2015

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    My baby sister told me this one.

    You want to hear a farm joke !?!? Never mind, it corny.
    RedMeansGo RedMeansGo 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    Q: What do you call a pig

    that does karate? A: A pork chop.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 4 Responses May 22, 2015

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    https://www.youtube.com/watch?

    v=qj6XAvuRn4Q Dave Allen. and happy new year !
    voyelle voyelle 41-45, F Dec 31, 2015

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    jellybean0617 jellybean0617 13-15, T 1 Response Aug 3, 2015

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    GlitzandGlamber GlitzandGlamber 18-21, F 16 Responses Jan 13, 2015

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    What did the grape say

    when it was crushed? Nothing it just let out A little wine
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 22, 2014

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    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    what did the doctor say to the midget ?

    ... He said you're going to have to be a little patient.
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    what did the big bucket say to the little

    bucket? .. you look a little pail
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    Q: What did the traffic light say

    when it stayed red?? A: You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 3 Responses May 24, 2014

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    So, Two Atoms...

    Two atoms bump into each other..the first atom says to the second atom, "are you ok?" The second atom says, "no, I lost an electron!" The first atom asks, "are you sure?" and the second atom replies "Yeah, I'm positive!" :P
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 14 Responses Dec 4, 2011

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    my 4 year old came up with this one .

    .. why did Darth Vader cross the road?? to get to the dark side lol i love it!
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 4, 2014

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    msilver msilver 18-21, F Dec 3, 2014

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    What is the coolest thing dating a homeless

    girl? … You can drop her off anywhere.
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Dec 22, 2015

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    Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl going to the

    bathroom? Because the "P" is silent... Lmfao I really can't stop laughing
    Cleopatra05 Cleopatra05 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 2, 2015

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    Q: What's the difference between America

    and a flash drive? A: One is USA and the other is USB.
    jml2000 jml2000 61-65, M 2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

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    Did you hear about the two peanuts walking the

    street late at night? One of them was assaulted.
    Luckranger71 Luckranger71 41-45, M 1 Response May 13, 2015

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    Girl: Hey baby, would you pretend like a strong

    man and move the sofa..? Guy: Sure dear, would you pretend like a weak girl and suck my d!ck ? Girl: Jerk.!! Guy: Hey! we both are being sexist here..!!
    Adamsofeve Adamsofeve 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    1. What did the plate say to the other plate?

    A: Dinner's on me! 2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: Where's popcorn? 3. What do you call an abusive egg? A: An egg beater 4. What did the carrot say to the other carrot? A: Don't you carrot at all for me? 5. Why was the priest so upset because of the...
    mguinm mguinm 46-50, F 8 Responses Apr 26, 2014

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair...
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 22, 2015

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    DrunkGiraffe DrunkGiraffe 26-30, M 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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