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I Love Corny Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 826 People

    NarakunoHana NarakunoHana 26-30, F Jan 3

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    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair...
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 21, 2014

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    Why did the tomato blush?

    It saw the salad dressing!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Oct 26, 2014

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    A man tells a doctor,

    "I think my wife's going deaf. What can I do?" The doctor says, "Well, try to test her hearing. Stand some distance away from her and ask her a question. If she doesn't answer, move a little closer and ask again. Keep repeating this until she answers. That way we can see how...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2

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    Not sure if this is "Corny"

    but it made me smile...... Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool. I gave him a glass of water.
    JustaSillyfairy JustaSillyfairy 70+, F 4 Responses 4 days ago

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    Did you hear about the two peanuts walking the

    street late at night? One of them was assaulted.
    Luckranger71 Luckranger71 41-45, M May 13

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 10

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    I named my iPod, The Titanic.

    Now it's syncing!
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 1 Response Mar 4

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    Don't use straighteners!

    They're a waste of money. I've been using one for 3 weeks now and I'm still gay.
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 14, 2014

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    What did the grape say

    when it was crushed? Nothing it just let out A little wine
    skyleryounger skyleryounger 18-21, M 2 Responses Jul 22, 2014

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    Why didn't the toilet paper roll make it across

    the street? Because it got stuck in a crack!
    Oreolover27 Oreolover27 13-15, F Dec 3, 2014

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    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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    The Future, the past

    and the present walk into a Bar. It was tense! :D
    neverendingfairytale neverendingfairytale 18-21, F May 1

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    Why can't you hear a pterodactyl,

    pee? Anybody? :D :D
    yourguardingangel yourguardingangel 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 20

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    What did the psychiatrist say

    when a man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap walked into his office? I can clearly see you're nuts!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26, 2014

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    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 11

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    Once there was a Chicken

    who went into a library and said: "Book Book" and the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned and again said: "Book Book" and once more the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. The Chicken returned AGAIN and the Librarian thought "After I give this...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 18, 2014

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    SIRROM88 SIRROM88 22-25, M Jul 21, 2014

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    What did the banana say to the vibrator?

    Why are you shaking? She is gonna eat me!
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Mar 19

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    Little Johnny asks his father

    for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.” Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2014

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    Q: What did the traffic light say

    when it stayed red?? A: You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 24, 2014

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    Q: When is a farmer like a magician?

    A: When he turns his cows to pasture.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 1

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    A bear and rabbit were ******** in the woods,

    the bear turned to the rabbit and asked "does **** stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied "no" So the bear picked him up and wiped his *** with him....
    funtobehad35 funtobehad35 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 23, 2014

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    A blonde who had been unemployed

    for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was

    visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around while the wife shopped. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and then...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2

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    My body is like a dictionary filled with blank

    pages: thick with no definition
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Dec 15, 2014

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    Q: What did the grape say

    after the elephant sat on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 23, 2014

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    My baby sister told me this one.

    You want to hear a farm joke !?!? Never mind, it corny.
    RedMeansGo RedMeansGo 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 4, 2014

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    my 4 year old came up with this one .

    .. why did Darth Vader cross the road?? to get to the dark side lol i love it!
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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    Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish?

    Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jan 14

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    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 5, 2014

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    Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

    A: He wanted to lift his spirits.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27, 2014

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    msilver msilver 16-17, F Nov 13, 2014

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    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 21, 2014

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    GlitzandGlamber GlitzandGlamber 18-21, F 11 Responses Jan 13

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    2 muffins are baking in the oven.

    the first one says "wow it's really getting hot in here" the second one says "I can't believe it a talking muffin!"
    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M Dec 4, 2014

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    Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

    It runs in your jeans!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Nov 13, 2014

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    What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy

    boob? If we dont get some support, people will think we’re nuts.
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F Mar 19

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    DrunkGiraffe DrunkGiraffe 26-30, M 2 Responses Dec 4, 2014

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    So, Two Atoms...

    Two atoms bump into each other..the first atom says to the second atom, "are you ok?" The second atom says, "no, I lost an electron!" The first atom asks, "are you sure?" and the second atom replies "Yeah, I'm positive!" :P
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 13 Responses Dec 4, 2011

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    why did the woman cross the road ?

    never mind that, the first question should be, how did she get out of the kitchen !!! ok..diving for cover now..lol
    looking4somefun1 looking4somefun1 46-50, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

    It's impossible to put down
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2014

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    A horse walked into a bar,

    the barman said "Hey" and the horse replied "Sure"
    SayLowMan SayLowMan 46-50, M 3 Responses Apr 7

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    katariffik katariffik 31-35, F 3 Responses May 6

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    neverendingfairytale neverendingfairytale 18-21, F May 1

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    I have a bumper sticker

    that says, "honk if you think I'm sexy"... Now, I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself.
    SayLowMan SayLowMan 46-50, M 4 Responses Dec 7, 2014

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    How do you get holy water?

    You boil the hell out of it!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3, 2014

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