Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Corny Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 660 People

    Two antennas got married.

    The ceremony wasn't much but the reception was excellent.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses May 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why didn't the toilet paper roll make it across

    the street? Because it got stuck in a crack!
    Oreolover27 Oreolover27 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What is the definition of a good farmer?

    A man outstanding in his field!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Oct 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What did the grape say

    when it was crushed? Nothing it just let out A little wine
    skyleryounger skyleryounger 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 22

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There once was a cross-eyed teacher

    who couldn't control his pupils
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    1. What did the plate say to the other plate?

    A: Dinner's on me! 2. What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? A: Where's popcorn? 3. What do you call an abusive egg? A: An egg beater 4. What did the carrot say to the other carrot? A: Don't you carrot at all for me anymore? 5. Why was the priest so upset because of...
    mguinm mguinm 41-45, F 8 Responses Apr 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Little Green Snake

    Snakes also known as Garter Snakes(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous.Yes, grass snakes, not rattlesnakes. Here's why.A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of themindoors to protect them from a...
    NoahBody123 NoahBody123 51-55 1 Response Apr 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the traffic light say

    when it stayed red?? A: You’d be red too if you had to change in front of everyone!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a bumper sticker

    that says, "honk if you think I'm sexy"... Now, I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 1 Response Jul 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why did the skeleton go to the party alone?

    He had no body to go with him!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Oct 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why couldn't the bicycle stand?

    Because he was too tired!
    WhatABeautifulMess97 WhatABeautifulMess97 16-17, F Jul 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A dad walks in on his son ************

    and says "son if you keep doing that you'll go blind", to which the son replies "dad I'm over here"
    MarxistLuciferKongJr MarxistLuciferKongJr 22-25, M Nov 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.

    It's impossible to put down
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 17

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: Why did the ghost ride the elevator?

    A: He wanted to lift his spirits.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses May 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why did the tomato blush?

    It saw the salad dressing!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Oct 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A husband takes the wife to a night club.

    There’s aguy on the dance floor giving it big time. Break dancing, moon walking, back flips, the works! The wife turns to her husband and says, “See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down!” The husband says, “Looks to me like he’s still...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't use straighteners!

    They're a waste of money. I've been using one for 3 weeks now and I'm still gay.
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    2 muffins are baking in the oven.

    the first one says "wow it's really getting hot in here" the second one says "I can't believe it a talking muffin!"
    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M Dec 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    SIRROM88 SIRROM88 22-25, M Jul 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My baby sister told me this one.

    You want to hear a farm joke !?!? Never mind, it corny.
    RedMeansGo RedMeansGo 16-17, F Dec 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    bambi456 bambi456 16-17, F Oct 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What do you call a veterinary surgeon with

    laryngitis? A: A hoarse doctor.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    my 4 year old came up with this one .

    .. why did Darth Vader cross the road?? to get to the dark side lol i love it!
    mamaberry27 mamaberry27 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 4

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How do you get holy water?

    You boil the hell out of it!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A bear and rabbit were ******** in the woods,

    the bear turned to the rabbit and asked "does **** stick to your fur?" The rabbit replied "no" So the bear picked him up and wiped his *** with him....
    funtobehad35 funtobehad35 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A blind man walks into a bar.

    And a table. And a chair...
    TCL009 TCL009 41-45, F 3 Responses Jul 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My body is like a dictionary filled with blank

    pages: thick with no definition
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Dec 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    RMDk RMDk 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Johnny asks his father

    for a $200 bicycle for his birthday. Johnny’s father says, “We have an $80,000 mortgage on the house, and I just got laid off! There won’t be a $200 bike this year.” Two days later, Little Johnny walks out of the house with all his belongings in a suitcase. His father...
    PrissyGold PrissyGold 26-30, F 1 Response Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What did the psychiatrist say

    when a man wearing nothing but Saran Wrap walked into his office? I can clearly see you're nuts!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q: What did the grape say

    after the elephant sat on it? A: Nothing, it just let out a little whine!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Mom, can I have an animal cracker?

    ” asked 3 year old Bob. “Sure Bob,” said his mom. “Open up the box, and take a few.” Forty five minutes later Bob’s mother walked into the kitchen. “Bob, why’d you spill out all of the animal crackers, and what are you looking for?” “It said on the box not to...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses May 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What did the traffic light say to the car?

    Don't look, I'm changing!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Oct 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Once there was a Chicken

    who went into a library and said: "Book Book" and the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned and again said: "Book Book" and once more the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. The Chicken returned AGAIN and the Librarian thought "After I give this...
    lilreddress lilreddress 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 18

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Did you know diarrhea is hereditary?

    It runs in your jeans!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Nov 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A photon checks into a hotel

    and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. He responds with, "No thanks, I'm traveling light."
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    DrunkGiraffe DrunkGiraffe 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Taking things literally can sometimes lead to

    confusion, but at the end of the day, 11:59
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Dec 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F Nov 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wife: "How would you describe me?

    "Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."Wife: "What does that mean?"Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
    simplegirl101 simplegirl101 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 3 Responses Nov 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What did the envelope say to the stamp?

    Stick with me baby I'll take you places. 😜
    meekakitty meekakitty 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So, Two Atoms...

    Two atoms bump into each other..the first atom says to the second atom, "are you ok?" The second atom says, "no, I lost an electron!" The first atom asks, "are you sure?" and the second atom replies "Yeah, I'm positive!" :P
    MrHazeinCherubsGrace MrHazeinCherubsGrace 26-30, M 10 Responses Dec 4, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    Did you hear about the sensitive burglar? He takes things personally
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 15

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Student: "is it ever ok to get in trouble for something u didn't do?" Teacher: "no, its not okay" Student: "okay, I didn't do my homework"
    ThatOneBlackGurl ThatOneBlackGurl 18-21, F Nov 29