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I Love Dane Cooks Skit Called Brain Ninjas

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8 People

    HAHAHAHA - I LOVE Dane Cook. I loved this one particularly because it is so true.  Generally, everything he jokes about is so right, which is why it makes it so damn funny...
    Karley Karley 16-17, F Sep 3, 2008

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    Omg he is so ******* delicious. I would do the unthinkable to that man. đź’‹
    freeebird freeebird 18-21, F Mar 22

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    He's funny. I went to one of his shows. It was funny. Su Fi!
    SWFinNY SWFinNY 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    (from some website) 12 Scientifically Proven Signs You're in Love Researchers have found that an in-love brain looks very different from one experiencing mere lust, and it's...
    KortneeAnne KortneeAnne 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I loved it when he called me baby too bad he wasn't my man!
    just2lovelee just2lovelee 41-45, F Apr 1

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    Squalls out on the gulf stream Big storm's comin' soon I passed out in my hammock And God I slept 'til way past noon Stood up and tried to focus I hoped I wouldn't have to look far...
    thedude5600 thedude5600 36-40, M 23 hrs ago

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    I want this dog to be my first... I wasn't sure at first... but I had an encounter with a black Dane that was loose as I was walking my dog.. He was so well behaved as I walked him...
    Ruru88 Ruru88 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    It really makes me feel better to have a clean house. Too often, when I'm really upset, I just start picking things up. This leads to cleaning things up, organizing, dusting, etc...
    ijustneed2talk ijustneed2talk 41-45, F 12 hrs ago

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    I love him. All of him. Right down to every single one of his so called "flaws." Sometimes, I think his imperfections might even make me love him MORE. He's a strong man, a VERY...
    BelleGold BelleGold 16-17, F 1 Response 11 hrs ago

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    I would love to marry a man that cooks. He is a keeper. He might get a treat if he cooks :)
    REALWORDS823 REALWORDS823 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 29

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    Dane Cook: By a Round of Applause Comedy crowds -- we always want to come out and ask you, How you feeling? We always say that, By a round of applause, how do you feel? Right? By...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    "Well, like I explained to y'all before I ain't no drinkin' man. I tried it once, and it got me highly irregular and I swore I'd never do it again. But I promised my brother-in-law...
    thedude5600 thedude5600 36-40, M 23 hrs ago

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    Ninjas want to grow up to be just like Chuck Norris. But usually they grow up just to be killed by Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 26

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    "Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 31

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    Some Like It Hot...Anyone who has ever drizzled, doused or drenched their food with hot sauce knows that it can make almost any dish taste better; but could these spicy condiments...
    sciguy18 sciguy18 51-55, M 4 Responses a week ago

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    ***This is Long, Please be Warned!**** Well, I’m stumped. I have been trying to figure out what is going on inside my head and my heart for the last year now. I still can’t...
    MINWILD MINWILD 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 19

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    When I proposed to my wife, I knew she had social anxiety and body image issues, but I had no idea that her mental condition was this bad. The doctors haven't diagnosed her with...
    neocarbunkle neocarbunkle 26-30, M 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

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    I love terms of endearment but recently discovered that to some people, these words are derogatory, objectifying, and trigger negative connotations. I do understand that argument...
    sailor764 sailor764 46-50, M 1 Response 15 hrs ago

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    I am greatfull for JesusChrist Whom died for me undeserved, with a love that is unconditionally. All to restore us back to Him in a personal, everyday relationship. All praise be...
    4icelady 4icelady 36-40, F 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

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    Even though it was almost 10 months ago, I remember that day so clearly. It was a hot, sunny day in the Valley. I like to dress cute and almost exactly a month before, I had...
    wackywoman wackywoman 26-30 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    Out of all the sports, tennis will always have a special place in my heart. I've been on so many different sports teams, the only sports I've really ignored are football and...
    RacistPlastic RacistPlastic 13-15, M 4 hrs ago

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    I once knew a poet Who lived before his time He and his dog Spooner Would listen while he'd rhyme Words to make ya happy Words to make you cry Then one day the poet suddenly did...
    thedude5600 thedude5600 36-40, M 23 hrs ago

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    (It's cut off, as usual.) there's some funky stuff growing in my backyard. Yesterday, my dog had bruises all over herself and kept scratching because of poison ivy. I was going to...
    PanicAtTheDiscount PanicAtTheDiscount 13-15, F 15 hrs ago

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    Really? AGAIN?! Dude I'm PISSED. I go to his office and he's talking to this girl so I'm like I'll wait down the hall. So she leaves and I go to his door and another research...
    pnktiger09 pnktiger09 18-21, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    There is a drug called "Devil's Breath". It is like powder and it only takes a small dose for it's effect to kick in. When you are drugged, you will do whatever you are told...
    moose73630 moose73630 16-17, M 1 Response 6 hrs ago

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    It is hard just to open up to someone, especially when the only grown up with small brothers, but our father weren't the one. I believe whenever I'm in love with a person, I'm only...
    toufie1 toufie1 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 21

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    I am that person.. I am the person who's been there for you for some of the worst days of your life.. I'm the person who stayed with you when some of those who you considered...
    Iknowsomethingnow Iknowsomethingnow 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I love men who cooks! CAN cook is a bonus! Hehe. Especially if they go out of their ways to cook for me on weekends, on days im working and he's not.. And another bonus'd be THE...
    bellabong bellabong 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Baked Hot Cheetos with Tapatio hot sauce, Hot Fries, Spicy Nacho Doritos, chocolate chip muffins, berry flavored skittles, animal cookies, chocolate frosted cupcakes...the list...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 5 days ago

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    "Well ya see, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are...
    MSeigler MSeigler 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 22

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    A cannibal goes to the market to buy his noon meal. On a stand brains are sold. ' How many is that : the linux programmer brain? " ' $30 per pound ' ' And that the - Sun's brain...
    Kaddath Kaddath 41-45, M Mar 23

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    A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 30

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    A cannibal entered the meat market to buy something nice for dinner. The owner greeted him and told him to look around. The cannibal began to inspect the meat case and noticed the...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 2 Responses Mar 30

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    I met her when I was only 12 years old (I'm 24 now). Meeting her was the best thing that could have happened to me. I had "dated" (if that's what you want to call it at that age...
    karma61613 karma61613 22-25, F Apr 2

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    My Mind to Your Mind, My Thoughts to Your Thoughts...Anyone familiar with Star Trek knows that Mr. Spock was able to pass his thoughts to others (and read their thoughts) by...
    sciguy18 sciguy18 51-55, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    JIMMY SOUL "If You Wanna Be Happy" If you wanna be happy for the rest of your life Never make a pretty woman your wife So for my personal point of view Get an ugly girl to marry...
    sherrianna sherrianna 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    After months of looking for a job, I’ve recently settled for a minimum wage thing in a popular “Family Restaurant” that specializes in pizza and Italian food. I won’t name...
    JennyFilth JennyFilth 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    After months of looking for a job, I’ve recently settled for a minimum wage thing in a popular “Family Restaurant” that specializes in pizza and Italian food. I won’t name...
    JennyFilth JennyFilth 22-25, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    After months of looking for a job, I’ve recently settled for a minimum wage thing in a popular “Family Restaurant” that specializes in pizza and Italian food. I won’t name...
    JennyFilth JennyFilth 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Trisha Yearwood - She's In Love With The Boy Lyrics Katie's sitting on the old front porch Watching the chickens peck the ground There ain't a whole lot going on tonight In...
    sherrianna sherrianna 18-21, F Apr 3

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    I think it's called a gun xD
    SomeAverageGuy SomeAverageGuy 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 18

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    Your Brain is 80% Female, 20% Male Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let...
    RobertaS RobertaS 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    A group of persons from a village went to a holy man, a Saint, who was meditating in a cave in the mountains. They were very scared and complained to the Saint about large venomous...
    22ndRow 22ndRow 41-45, F Mar 28

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    "'I know it's cold outside, but it's about to get all warm up in my jazz'"~Rob Swanson (Park and Recreations) Hilarious XD You wanna know something else almost of equal hilarity...
    SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 18-21 Mar 29

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    ***Post of the Day*** Find out more at: www.facebook.com/FavorUponYouBackground: Because of the regular reporting in the Media of newly converted Muslims who shortly after...
    FavorUponYou FavorUponYou 22-25, M Apr 7

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    I loved Somebody that didn't love me back... Myself XD That little herpy plays So hard to get ^_~ Hector: Uh... O_O~_~' Brain: ...Sometimes I don't know how to respond to you o_O...
    SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 SquirrellyChanLuvsAcorns83 18-21 Mar 18

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    My favourite joke :3 : A young Law student, having failed his Law exam, goes up to his crusty old professor, who is renowned for his razor-sharp legal mind. Student: "Sir, do you...
    Oti91 Oti91 22-25, M 2 Responses Apr 3

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    That release of dopamine to the brain as if it's a little self righteous hug to your brain every time u use a tobacco product. God I love that feeling even though I know all they...
    Vaticide Vaticide 18-21, M Apr 3

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    Your Brain is 73% Female, 27% Male Your brain leans female You think with your heart, not your head Sweet and considerate, you are a giver But you're tough enough not to let...
    codait codait 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    U am broken she left me coz her parents are not ready for our marrage she break up our six yr relationship in six yr I have her everything and now whenever I call her she didnt...
    rautsagar1988 rautsagar1988 26-30, M 5 days ago

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    Your Brain is 47% Female, 53% Male (Not very surprising) Your brain is a healthy mix of male and female (are there unhealthy mixes?) You are both sensitive and savvy Rational and...
    diablesse34 diablesse34 46-50, F 1 Response 4 days ago