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I Love Family Guy

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 15,920 People

    mongo275 mongo275 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 30

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    katiecooper999 katiecooper999 22-25, F 10 Responses Mar 30

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    fauxlady fauxlady 22-25, F Aug 14

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    This is from the crossover episode "The

    Simpsons Guy" and I thought this was hilarious. Enjoy...
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F 3 Responses Oct 10

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    Peter: I'll handle it,

    Lois. I read a book about this sort of thing once. Brian: Are you sure it was a book? Are you sure it wasn't nothing? Peter: Oh yeah.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Family Guy marathon courtesy of my

    ex-boyfriends netflix account. Haha, sucker. :D
    Vengeancex Vengeancex 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 6

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    I 💜 Consuela

    More lemon pledge.............
    sandybreeze sandybreeze 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 23, 2013

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    Brian: Peter, this is the final plague.

    Peter: Good cause this is starting to get boring. Brian: Peter, the final plague is the death of the first born son. Peter: Oh no Stewie! Brian: First born... Peter: Meg! Brian: Your daughter... Peter: Chris!
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    ZoeLouise3399 ZoeLouise3399 13-15, F 1 Response May 8

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    hayhaytaytay hayhaytaytay 13-15, F 2 Responses Sep 7

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    Bonnie: Somebody save him,

    he can't swim! Peter: Oh, he's not even kicking. Kick Joe, kick. Lois: Peter, he's a paraplegic! Peter: That doesn't mean he can't hear. Kick Joe, kick!
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Oh.. Have You Not Heard??

    It was my understanding that everyone had heard!! The bird is the word! One of my favorite episodes. 😃
    myblumoon myblumoon 31-35, F 6 Responses Oct 29, 2013

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    Peter: Look at this, Lois,

    see right here [points in book], I was voted most likely to succeed! Lois: Peter, that's not you. That's not even a yearbook, it's a People magazine. Peter: Oh, I wondered why they had the wrong picture and name.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    They Killed Off Brian.

    So apparently the creators killed off Brian because they wanted a 'change?' Well that's bullshit. Brian was a main character and was a big part of each show. Without him the entire show will be different. They're going to have a new character.....a dog named Vinny. Wtf?! I can't...
    skinnyjeansandbandmerch skinnyjeansandbandmerch 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 26, 2013

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    Poor Meg. Robber: We have your son.

    Louis: Meg's our daughter. Robber: ....Really? Haha, Am I the only one who thinks Meg isn't even ugly??
    Rosieeeee Rosieeeee 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 10

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    My favorite is Stewie.

    Now, go away, fat man
    FedUpTeen FedUpTeen 16-17, M 3 Responses May 28

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    Urbangentleman Urbangentleman 22-25, M Feb 9

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    Cool Whip

    This is from one of my favorite episodes
    americanwitch americanwitch 36-40, F 4 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    "shut Up Greg!"

    one of my favorite things about family guy are the constant put downs of meg. like when its her bday, but peter and lois dont know how old she is and dont really seem to care. and in their star wars episodes, megs monster character asks "how come i dont have any lines" and peter...
    nikkitay nikkitay 18-21, F 10 Responses Sep 6, 2011

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    I'm so addicted to family guy!

    I almost dumped a guy bcuz he didn't wanna watch it lol
    MrsGigalowJr MrsGigalowJr 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 18

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    Peter: It's already done.

    I dropped them all off at Toys for Toddlers last night. Brian: All? Peter, only one gift was for charity, the rest were for the family. Peter: No, the rest were from the family. Weren't they? (Pauses.) Oh crap...since when did they change the meaning of "for" to "from"? Brian...
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    Peter: Hey Mort, do these suppositories come in

    other flavors? Mort: Peter, are you eating those? Peter: No, I'm shoving 'em up my butt. Of course I'm eating 'em!
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Genius

    A few years ago, our children…ages 17 & 18 introduced my husband and myself to “Family Guy”. We were both very reluctant, having seen a few short commercial trailers depicting the show. The idea of a talking dog and a highly (unrealistically) intelligent infant wasn’t...
    fetish27 fetish27 46-50, F 3 Responses Aug 7, 2013

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    IamtheawesomePrussia IamtheawesomePrussia 13-15, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    They killed off Brian!

    !!!! NO!!!!!!
    darthkoolaide darthkoolaide 31-35, M 13 Responses Nov 27, 2013

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    i will never get tired of this show!

    everytime i watch it i can not help but laugh
    luvabl3 luvabl3 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    KortneeAnne KortneeAnne 26-30, F 7 Responses Jun 5

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    Lois: Peter, wake up!

    Our son is covered in fleas! Peter: That's nothing! When I was a kid, I was covered in ticks! Lois: This isn't a competition! Peter: It was back then. (Glances over at trophy, "Most Ticks 1965.")
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    ArpWolf ArpWolf 16-17, M Oct 22

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    Peter (leaving a message

    for Mr. Weed): Mr. Weed? This Peter Griffin. I will not be coming to work today, I was in a terrible plane crash. My entire family was killed and I am a vegetable.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Meet The Quagmires

    Meet the quagmires is my fav family guy episode and when peters in the clam with cleavland and their dancing to the Beverly Hills theme song hehehehehehehehehhehehe and another hehehehehe omg lmfao!!!!!
    AccDeleted AccDeleted 18-21, F 3 Responses Oct 31, 2013

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    If I were to be one of the characters,

    I'd probably be Meg. But I like Peter the most though.
    crystal234 crystal234 13-15, F 5 Responses Jun 29

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    miker3200 miker3200 31-35, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Peter:..Hello Sally, h-hey its Peter Griffin.

    Yeah, that's right, senior prom, yeah it's been a while..so listen, um, I just found out that I'm retarted and um, I'm just calling to let you know that uh, you might want to get yourself tested.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Peter: We all love the bible in this house.

    Francis: Really? What's your favourite book of the bible. Peter: Umm ... the one where Jesus swallows the puzzle piece, and the man in a big yellow hat has to take him to the hospital.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    RrTrueAllMe RrTrueAllMe 16-17, F 4 Responses May 1

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    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F Jun 30

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    Brian Is My Ideal Man ...

    .... well read, urbane, witty, loyal, appreciates a good cocktail and looks good in a collar. Only rub is, he's a dog. A cartoon dog. Damn it.
    Dollyismyleader Dollyismyleader 46-50, F 15 Responses May 13, 2012

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    Italian Guy

    "Peter you don't speak Italian." Sure I do, boppity boopa, bippity boppity boopa?
    rjfoshag1 rjfoshag1 26-30 1 Response Dec 2, 2013

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    TheAverageIdiot TheAverageIdiot 16-17, M 5 Responses May 22

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    Peter: And Joe, I've had new neighbors before,

    but none of them were half the man you are. Since you're half a man already, that splits them into some kind of fraction I can't even measure.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    The episode from season 12- secondhand spoke is

    killing me right now! Sooooooo funny. Peter is awesome.
    KortneeAnne KortneeAnne 26-30, F Jun 6

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    I love Mayor Adam West!

    !! He has to be the most underated character on the show
    2t3v3 2t3v3 16-17, M 3 Responses Jun 8

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    " where's my money *****,

    I need my money "
    lucyfordd lucyfordd 22-25, F Dec 2, 2013

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    I can't wait till tonight!

    !! I've been waiting 13 years for this!!!!!
    Forders2 Forders2 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 28

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    Brian (at the Quahog county trailer park):

    You're really going to take back donated presents on Christmas Eve? Peter: Yep, now here's the plan: You'll enter through the air contitioning duct here. Now there'll be an invisible laser grid three inches from the floor, so you'll have to compress your body to the size of an...
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F Oct 22

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    Lois: Together we can do anything: face any foe,

    overcome any obstacle. Peter: Yeah, climb any mountain, rent any video, dial any phone. And not just our phone, Lois, other people's phones. Decent phones, God-fearing phones, phones that everybody else gave up on, but we knew better because we were a team! Brian: What the hell...
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    Steve: Well, well, Officer Swanson.

    You and your friends are dead, you're all dead! Peter: Oh, good, he thinks we're zombies. He'll leave us alone.
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 22

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    "Meg, clean out the shower the next time you

    shave your legs". "It's like carpet in there.." Oh Peter....
    RrTrueAllMe RrTrueAllMe 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 21

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