I Love Funny Haikus

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 52 People

    Scooby Dooby Do

    Scooby Dooby Do dyslexic atheists don't  believe dog is real        
    8FOOTDREAD 8FOOTDREAD
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Apr 15, 2010

    It's Time For Another One (dr. Suess-esque)

    It's been a while, but I'm feeling a little more creative today than others and I have the patience of a fly right now. Need something a little quick, and creative to get me going. Yes, there's stars on thars Alas, they aren't on bellies You tattooed it there? It's green eggs...
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    1 Response Dec 2, 2010

    Can You Imagine This

      dyslexic tourettes atheist children at church   WOOF WOOF **** YOU DOG!!!
    8FOOTDREAD 8FOOTDREAD
    41-45, M
    2 Responses Apr 15, 2010

    It's Friday…time For More Inspired Lingo

    The good frigid wife Might think she is worthless, but… Beer between legs chills.     A risk free trial The one night stand compliments ***** moan replacement     Hot chick? Think again! No matter how hot, some guy Is tired of...
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    2 Responses May 7, 2010

    Haiku Three things are certain: Death,

    taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred. Everything is gone; Your life's work has been destroyed. Squeeze trigger (yes/no)? I'm sorry, there's -- um -- insufficient -- what's-it-called? The term eludes me. Windows NT crashed. I am the Blue Screen of Death. No one hears...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Apr 27, 2014
    rachelle1972 rachelle1972
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jan 30, 2014

    Smartasses Unite! (or Dislexics Untie)

    Wit and humor rule Dislexics Do Not Get It Think lures aren't funny   Counseling is lame ******** therapy nuggets Like scented candles   Warm weather haunts me Thoughts of bikini babes are… …hey, look! A squirrel!
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    5 Responses Apr 9, 2010

    Long Train Rides & Boredom (or So You Thought)

    Conductor with grin Tosses his rocks in hot box Coal, fool! Not *****! Long train rides are fun When you travel with nudists Or mental patients Long train, long tunnel It's dark… feel something warm… wet Drunk ******* on leg
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    1 Response Apr 12, 2011

    Time For More Sex? I Think Not! Time For More Beef!

    The Beef Avatar Has A Life All On Its Own Grilled? Braised? Ground? No… hot! Sex Is Just Like Air It Might Not Seem Important Until You Get None A Wise Woman Said '**** Me Gently With Chainsaw' I Say 'On or Off?'
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Dec 15, 2010

    Ode To Vectorking23

    O sensei...teach me your tongue fu is like old school jackie chan movies
    8FOOTDREAD 8FOOTDREAD
    41-45, M
    1 Response Apr 15, 2010

    Just Getting Started…how About Some Funny St. Patrick's Day Haikus!

    O'Toole drinks too much And he's a real bad singer His cell mates agree   It looked like five legs Lucky the Irish Setter Was hung like a horse   Guinness beer is best When not combined with women Who are not your wife  
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    Mar 10, 2010

    I Am The Only Member Of This Group

    For right now I rule With an iron fist no less Damn it! Sceptor broke!   Walk five steps behind Rulers demand such respect Or just watch my ***   Solitary muse It's not hard to write whatever Speaking Dutch is hard
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    Apr 9, 2010

    Haikus For The Weekend

    Friday beer on tap Lots of fun and feeling good Too bad wife is not   Basketball madness Someone will be going down Hope not your team though (or substitute last line, again, with: Too bad wife is not)
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    2 Responses Mar 26, 2010

    Love's Labour Lost - Haikus

    BLIND DATE Meet me under the Station Clock I'll be wearing bright red underpants. He forgot to mention the BLUE SUIT !MISMATCH He thought their union was "Forged in Heaven" So did she - but regretted it disintegrated on Earth.BIG EATER Twas in a cafe where they met and Rome-owed...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Sep 7, 2011

    Got the morning blues.

    Balls you say? Oh yes, those too. Or, Boo Berry Crunch. Hidden under shirt… You smuggling blueberries? No, just cold in here. Wonderful breakfast Beer after beer after beer Off to surgery!
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    Jul 25, 2014

    Wednesday Morning Blue(s)

    Got Ignored Again Patented Moves Not Working Purple Balls, Not Blue!   Plastic Surgery Old Folks With Big Boobs, Blue Pills Forget How It's Done   Profound Poet Sings I Really Love Your Peaches Want To Shake Your Tree
    vectorking23 vectorking23
    36-40, M
    Apr 14, 2010
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