When you are talking to a "new person" and they seem stupid and you can't think of anything else to add to the awkward conversation, say:
"I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high."
hero who lost his leg in battle. He had a wooden leg. Musician Frank Zappa was a guest on his show when Frank was wearing long hair. The following conversation took place:
Joe Pyne: "So I guess your long hair makes you a woman."
Frank Zappa: "So I guess your wooden leg makes...
Some of the all time greatest insults come from the Indian subcontinent. I'll try to share them with you, now and then.
Here is today's Hindi Insult:
"chipkali key gaand key pasinay may talle huya ande..."
"you are like an egg fried in the sweat of a lizard's...
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Funeral is Tomorrow
Calvin Coolidge, was not nicknamed 'Silent Cal' for nothing. He was well known for being a man of few words. Whilst seated at a dinner party next to poet and satirist Dorothy Parker, Parker said to him,
"Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible...