Some of the all time greatest insults come from the Indian subcontinent. I'll try to share them with you, now and then.
Here is today's Hindi Insult:
"chipkali key gaand key pasinay may talle huya ande..."
"you are like an egg fried in the sweat of a lizard's...
Calvin Coolidge, was not nicknamed 'Silent Cal' for nothing. He was well known for being a man of few words. Whilst seated at a dinner party next to poet and satirist Dorothy Parker, Parker said to him,
"Mr. Coolidge, I've made a bet against a fellow who said it was impossible...
Wife: "What does that mean?"
Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
Funeral is Tomorrow
hero who lost his leg in battle. He had a wooden leg. Musician Frank Zappa was a guest on his show when Frank was wearing long hair. The following conversation took place:
Joe Pyne: "So I guess your long hair makes you a woman."
Frank Zappa: "So I guess your wooden leg makes...
When you are talking to a "new person" and they seem stupid and you can't think of anything else to add to the awkward conversation, say:
"I would ask how old you are, but I know you can't count that high."