Sorry guys no funny story just quotes enjoy :D.
1.Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling
2.The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think...
Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box.
Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may...
Your reading this right now
2. Your realizing that is a stupid fact
4. You didn't realize I skipped three
5. Your checking now
6. Your smiling
7. Your still reading even though this is stupid
9. You didn't realize I skipped eight
10. Your checking again
11. Your enjoying this...
Sir Winston Churchill was a prodigious drinker. At a prestigious party he had had one too many and was approached by an aristocratic woman. "You, Mr. Prime Minister, are drunk". Churchill's response? "And you, madam, are ugly. Tomorrow I shall be sober."
MATH=mental abuse to humans
If I'm gonna hit someone, might as well hit em hard.
What's the point of life without an annoying person to smack some sense into? (Ok, maybe that wasn't a quote, but it's so true!)