may the splinters never point in the wrong direction
~ An Irish saying~
your either on a roll or taking **** from some *******.
and drive on a parkway?
I think it's because if we tried to drive in a driveway, we would hit the garage door; and, if we tried to park on a parkway, we'd get hit and/or a ticket.
Accidents in the back seat,
My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres.
but this pretty much just happened to me:
-Watches Naruto over Netflix, episode where Lee opens the gates and unleashes a serious case of whoop *** on Gaara-
Gaara: "What is this?! He's moving too fast! My armor can't take this pounding!"
Me: -lightly smirks- "That's what...
'" And then me say: "Friend is someone to share the last cookie with." -Cookie Monster
than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
phone and smile....then walk into a pole..
Close to the heart & always there for support! :)
but it is a solution. Ask a chemist.
and when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly...on a broomstick...we are flexible like that
let me help. I feel a sneeze coming on!" - marine iguana
"Uh, that's okay" - Kwazii
- Octonauts (marine iguanas eat seaweed and sneeze out the salt)
" - Rose to Dorothy
"Yes Rose, and Mars Bars are made right here on Earth!" - Dorothy to Rose
- The Golden Girls
for having sex, men just need a place."
..but first it will **** you off"
This is just so true😂😂
the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject!!
I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
I want to date you." - Tony
"Thanks?!" - Jessie
- Disney series "Jessie"
You love animals, but you eat them. You tell me you love me, so now I'm scared.
cute things like: 'Who is this?' and 'How did you get my number?'
and start smiling like an idiot because you are just so hilarious!
Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box.
Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may...
obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
Other times I just let her sleep.
hydrogen and stupidity. Not necessarily in the order....
weird you are until it's too late for them to back out.
and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
something, dark side . . . Something, something, something, complete . . . !" May the 4th be with you, everyone. =)