Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Funny Quotes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,553 People

    That moment when you talk to yourself

    and start smiling like an idiot because you are just so hilarious!
    MendyNL MendyNL 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Women are Angels😇

    and when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly...on a broomstick...we are flexible like that
    redlissa redlissa 36-40, F Jun 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    MNI1982 MNI1982 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Which Lasted For A Few Seconds

    I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. —Woody Allen
    ladyryan ladyryan 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jjoe01 jjoe01 41-45, M 3 Responses Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You have to stay in shape.

    My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is. - Ellen DeGeneres.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Better to remain silent

    and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt.
    MendyNL MendyNL 18-21, F Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    TheStoryman TheStoryman 36-40, M 5 Responses Dec 4, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You have not experienced true fear

    until a poster falls down in the middle of the night
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Friends are like bras!

    Close to the heart & always there for support! :)
    enchantedISLANDgirl enchantedISLANDgirl 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 22, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anyone who says "nothing is impossible" has

    obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
    exitstageleft exitstageleft 41-45, M 3 Responses Jul 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The broccoli says 'I look like a small tree',

    the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject!!
    orchidangel orchidangel 41-45, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "There is nothing stronger

    than love" EXCEPT "GOKU" there is nothing stronger than GOKU
    Johnnystha Johnnystha 26-30, M Nov 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cause when a guy does something stupid once,

    well that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl - dr. Seuss
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Darjo74 Darjo74 36-40, M Nov 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    RedThatDescribesMe RedThatDescribesMe 18-21, F Feb 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have this hanging in my kitchen

    and it's so true Hand over the coffee & no one gets hurt
    abas4 abas4 36-40, F 2 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel
    hadiijawaid hadiijawaid 22-25, M 3 Responses Jun 5, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We live in a society

    where pizza gets to your house before the police.
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    the key to success is to suck less.

    there's no suck in success.
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Kids in the back seat,

    Cause accidents Accidents in the back seat, Cause kids.
    vadesigner vadesigner 46-50, M 1 Response Jun 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    holloway64 holloway64 46-50, M Dec 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Try to pronounce this at the restaurant

    and see if it makes sense. LOL You need a browser to read this.
    jjoe01 jjoe01 41-45, M Feb 13

    Your Response

    Cancel
    michaeln41 michaeln41 41-45, M Nov 7, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I wake up grumpy.

    Other times I just let her sleep.
    menelaeus menelaeus 61-65, M 1 Response Apr 3, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Sometimes me think: 'What is friend?

    '" And then me say: "Friend is someone to share the last cookie with." -Cookie Monster
    MendyNL MendyNL 18-21, F Oct 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    From "Dark Shadows" Angelique

    Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box. Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may...
    mareliberum mareliberum 26-30 Jun 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    StarletScarlett StarletScarlett 16-17, F 5 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    All I ask is the chance to prove

    that money can't make me happy. Spike Milligan
    holloway64 holloway64 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I got so excited spring is coming,

    that I wet my plants!
    Jpfunjunky Jpfunjunky 31-35, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Fighting for peace is like screwing

    for virginity." -George Carlin 😋
    Loverofpeace Loverofpeace 36-40, F 9 Responses Jan 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Starbucks is cheap,,,

    , compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup! LOL! LOL! :)
    enchantedISLANDgirl enchantedISLANDgirl 36-40, F 4 Responses May 21, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I ran three miles today.

    Finally I said "lady, take your purse"
    michaeln41 michaeln41 41-45, M Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    LocketRainbow LocketRainbow 16-17, F Apr 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I dig, you dig, We dig,

    he dig, they dig…. It is not a a beautiful poem but it’s very deep.
    lloyds123 lloyds123 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 14, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When life gives you lemon.

    Cut those suckers up and find some tequila.
    mr8bitmonster mr8bitmonster 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 25, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    As you slide down the banister of life,

    may the splinters never point in the wrong direction ~ An Irish saying~
    orchidangel orchidangel 41-45, F 4 Responses Feb 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Life is like a roll of toilet paper,

    your either on a roll or taking **** from some *******.
    IAmARebel IAmARebel 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    " I only talk to myself

    when I need an expert opinion ! " is on a sign over my Dad's workbench.
    HardDragger HardDragger 46-50, M 5 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A book fell on my head last night.

    I've only got my shelf to blame.
    michaeln41 michaeln41 41-45, M Jul 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Give a man a fish he eats today,

    but teach a man to fish, he eats everyday. .....True, HOWEVER...... That he fished so much everyday, there'll be no more fish to fish for yourself that's why you NEVER EVER EVER teach a man how to fish...
    ringgo69 ringgo69 31-35, M Jan 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate it when people see me at the supermarket

    and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.' --- Anonymous
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just heard something funny,

    feminists won't like it haha "If women can do anything men can; how come they've never successfully oppressed and entire gender" I about died haha
    Euphoricbunnymaster Euphoricbunnymaster 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I were out driving today,

    when I came across a sandwich board which read "Adults are just big kids with money" I thought how true ..It did make smile :)
    Mmmcherries Mmmcherries 46-50, F 4 Responses Nov 11, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    michaeln41 michaeln41 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 27, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    GIRL, IF YOU WERE A VEGETABLE YOU'D BE A

    CUCUMBER, BECAUSE ITS CUTE AND I WANNA SHOVE IT UP MY ***. Hahahahaha.
    Euphoricbunnymaster Euphoricbunnymaster 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    " There is only 2 things in the world

    that are infinite. Human stupidity and the amount of Zubats in dark cave. "
    michellesydney michellesydney 18-21, F Jan 23

    Your Response

    Cancel