Finally I said "lady, take your purse"
when I need an expert opinion ! "
is on a sign over my Dad's workbench.
, compared to what Victoria's Secret charges per cup!
LOL! LOL! :)
where pizza gets to your house before the police.
and when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly...on a broomstick...we are flexible like that
the mushroom says 'I look like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the subject!!
may the splinters never point in the wrong direction
~ An Irish saying~
and see if it makes sense. LOL You need a browser to read this.
when I came across a sandwich board which read "Adults are just big kids with money"
I thought how true ..It did make smile :)
stuck pig " - chucky movie
My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.
- Ellen DeGeneres.
Close to the heart & always there for support! :)
until a poster falls down in the middle of the night
'" And then me say: "Friend is someone to share the last cookie with." -Cookie Monster
and they're like 'Hey, what are you doing here?' I tell them 'You know.. hunting elephants.'
and drive on a parkway?
I think it's because if we tried to drive in a driveway, we would hit the garage door; and, if we tried to park on a parkway, we'd get hit and/or a ticket.
for having sex, men just need a place."
feminists won't like it haha
"If women can do anything men can; how come they've never successfully oppressed and entire gender"
I about died haha
nervous man is a man who has a mortgage payment, car payment, alimony payment, wife, and girlfriend that are all a month late.
Bouchard: I'm going to make an offer to you, Barnabas. My last. You can join me by my side and we can run Collinsport together as partners, and lovers... or I'll put you back in the box.
Barnabas Collins: I have already prepared my counter-proposal. It reads thusly: You may...
Accidents in the back seat,
CUCUMBER, BECAUSE ITS CUTE AND I WANNA SHOVE IT UP MY ***.
your either on a roll or taking **** from some *******.
than dogs' so they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties."
lives to fight another day (skeletor)
well that's because he's a guy. But if he does the same stupid thing twice, that's usually to impress some girl - dr. Seuss
obviously never tried to staple jello to a tree.
but teach a man to fish, he eats everyday.
That he fished so much everyday, there'll be no more fish to fish for yourself
that's why you NEVER EVER EVER teach a man how to fish...
I took a speed reading course and read ‘War and Peace’ in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.
Other times I just let her sleep.
that are infinite. Human stupidity and the amount of Zubats in dark cave. "
Cut those suckers up and find some tequila.