Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Hearing a Good Comeback

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 655 People

    Probably My Favorite One:

    HEHEHEHE last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my DINOSAUR. bahahahaha. yep, thats my favorite
    McLovinthegirl McLovinthegirl 16-17, F Dec 9, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Do,

    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 13, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Heheh

    apparently i am very good in a fight, with good come backs. but i dont like confrontation so i dont get to show it. a swift verbal b**** slap is my speciality.
    ForeverAutumn ForeverAutumn 18-21, F Dec 21, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Still Waiting!!

    I served an elderly man and his wife and after giving them their purchases,I said "thank  you, see you later" he turned to his wife and said"she always says that but never shows up"  
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Goofy But Still...

    My favorite comeback of all time has got to be- " I know you are, but, what am I?"Ahahaha. That cracks me up everytime. I love it. It is just hilarious.  
    Lark33 Lark33 41-45, F Sep 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've Just Gotta Share This!

    One Thanksgiving a few years ago my wife was in the Kitchen making a cup of coffee for my mother and she asked me: "How does your mom take her coffee" to which I quickly replied: "Orally!" 
    SRayne SRayne 51-55, M 2 Responses Aug 25, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Best one I've heard lately: Creep: Age is just

    a number Me: Yeah and jail is just a room
    PinksTheNewBlack PinksTheNewBlack 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Nose Joke Anyone?

    Was walking with a friend when a car with three young men slowed along side us and one called out to my friend,"Hey blondie do you wanna come over here and sit on my face"as quick as a whip she replied with"why,is your nose bigger than your d.....k??Needless...
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Absolutely!

    A good comeback is a wonderful thing. Last year (only like a few months ago lol), my fiance and another man at his work were teaching a trainee, and my guy gave a direction that sounded vaguley off-colour. The other man laughed and said 'That's what your wife said when she saw...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Logic

    The next time a man/woman gives you the I'm just being logical stance in an arguement. Just pop this quote in. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. by Doctor Who
    firespryte firespryte 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Elephants

    A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster looks over at the elephant. After a few seconds he turns to his Dad and asks "Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?" His father replies "That's his trunk son." "No...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M Aug 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Saying Them Too

    i enjoy hearing them but am also happy with myself when i get to say one. one day, my husband jokingly told me that he would break my arm. i looked at him and told him that i would break his spirit. perhaps you had to be there.
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Except

    As much as I love the cleverness of a good comeback. I'm not so great with them myself. Not always quick enough to get one in. Except for once in a while on accident.
    brwneyedbeauty brwneyedbeauty 18-21, F Dec 9, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Little 'flashy'

    a drunk walks into a restaurant and tries to get some service but he was too inebriated so the female manager asked him to leave. he got unruly so she threatened to call the police. He unzipped his pants and waved his private parts at her and said through his slurred speach "Oh...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Waitress

    The best comeback I have ever heard came from a waitress who was in my employment at the restaurant I was manager of. It goes like this. I had the night off as I had been invited to a birthday party by a wealthy acquaintance named Greg, along with a few others. It was to be a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 12, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Touche!

    There's a book full of 'em called "Acid Drops" by English actor/raconteur Kenneth Williams,who had a famously sharp tongue. I like one where he argued with another actor and called him something nasty. The guy said "I could never talk to anyone like that!"...
    Rob22make3 Rob22make3 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 2, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Love It!

    I posted this in another group, but I find it fitting here too. A joke someone once told me... A 19 year old boy recently joined the Army. After being away for just 4 months, he gets a letter from his girlfriend back home. In the letter, she tells him that since he's been gone...
    ladyzantorian ladyzantorian 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 20, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It Was Good Enough...

    Once I was walking down a street with two of my friends, and it was crowded. People were walking around, going to bars and the like. I was wearing these tight black and white striped pants I´ve got (which I love) with red sneakers. I wasn´t really paying attention...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 22, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hope I never have an opportunity to use this

    one, but it seems like it would feel satisfying under the right circumstances: "I have nightmares that I would forget before I ever forget about you."
    KatieTreat KatieTreat 51-55, T 1 Response May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Take That

    There are few things as satisfying as a good comeback or retort. At the very most it disarms your opponent and at the very least it annoys or stuns them. Its like winning a debate, just a bit more petty. I can admit that at least. I just cant resist the urge to counter every...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F May 8, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Back and Forth..

    I have to agree with the others, I do enjoy a good comeback, especially when I can throw it back and forth, it's like a word game and may the best one win.
    Krayons Krayons 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 3, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Skydiving

    my ex, and I were watching a movie one time and there were skydivers in it, She asked me "how long do they have to pull the ripcord"? I answered "The rest of their lives"
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    As A Typical Scouse Comedian, I Love Hecklers, As It Makes More Openings ...

    As a typical Scouse comedian, I love hecklers, as it makes more openings for comedy As a Groovy Grandad & ex-stepdad to 4 young lovelies, I even led with the chin & invited upset women to vent @ Ted Bundy Story in TV Too many folk bottle things up - even to the point of making...
    ShyButCreativeSexyGuy ShyButCreativeSexyGuy 46-50, M Jun 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Couldn't Resist

    I love to hear a great comeback such as “ya’ll comeback now ya hear?” or “come back and see us real soon.”  Great Southern Hospitality at its finest.    
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 1 Response May 14, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Blow Blow Blow

    Good comebacks are great to hear. Especially when they come out of my best friend's mouth. She is a gem when it comes to comebacks. I'm thankful I've never been on the receiving end of one. But, she sometimes forgets comebacks and blows in their ear instead. Something it seems...
    Luangi Luangi 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 12, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I hate thinking of an awesome

    when In that first hour after a fight where you are reliving the moment and you think of such a good one and it's like.. Damn
    JadenLangVageta JadenLangVageta 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Be Prepared For Hecklers

    This is why men shouldn't breast feed!
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 19, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hmm....

    Good Comeback...well...I know I can comment and do good in here...Well...I know that I can try make Friends smile...if I can't...I'm not  working hard enough...
    mother1983 mother1983 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 17, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The one I love hearing

    and I love saying is 'you peaked in high school'
    MixedJayy MixedJayy 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Especially...

    when it comes out of my mouth, haha I'm normally really awful at comebacks and can't think of anything good for a few hours. I did have a good one semi-recently however.  During the Beijing Olympic Ceremonies one of the guys sitting behind me said "How many fireworks...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T Nov 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    My 15th anniversary was June 30. It was a lovely day. I was off work. Piddled with this and that. Ran a few errands. Slogged my way through the backlog of laundry resulting from my...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F 4 Responses 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Good day.!! Are you in need of a loan?? email me for more information. samlewis4047@gmail.com Sam. loan agent.
    Toby0147 Toby0147 46-50, M 6 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    His name was Bubba. He was from Texas but he was in New York City and he needed a loan. He walked into a bank in the Big Apple and asked for the loan officer. He told the loan...
    Mizzmelody2u Mizzmelody2u 46-50, F 1 Response 10 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I have a bad stomach ache, I should probly eat but I'm trying to lose weight. I'm just rubbing my stomach laying down on my bed, feels sooo good.
    TummiesAreHot TummiesAreHot 26-30, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A Bible group study leader says to his group, What would you do if you knew you only had four weeks left before the great Judgment Day? A gentleman says, I would go out into my...
    sonnybeach sonnybeach 56-60, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The greatest this you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. My favorite quote of all time. :)
    Cerabelle Cerabelle 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    This one's a bit old now, but I remember laughing out loud the first time I saw this years ago... If you've never seen this clip from The One Ronnie and are looking for a good pun...
    sweet7sephora sweet7sephora 26-30, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I can only fight for something that I love, love only what I respect, and respect only what I at least know <3 Adolf Hitler
    Firechiic Firechiic 16-17, F 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I was blessed with a massage therapist for close to 2 years who was a true healer, a Shaman by birthright. He learned my body; he adapted to my particular needs. I suffer from a...
    lostit77 lostit77 46-50, F 11 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    New diet fade: A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous...
    sonnybeach sonnybeach 56-60, M 7 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I LOVE giving them - hearing those little moans and seeing her squirm...the best part is when I've relaxed them enough that they just fall right to sleep while I'm doing it
    BretH BretH 18-21, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Anyone can love a rose, but it takes a lot to love a leaf. It's ordinary to love the beautiful, but it's beautiful to love the ordinary. Anonymous
    lavendersea lavendersea 41-45, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Had a hectic day..feeling sleepy now, good night y'all
    Elaina12 Elaina12 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    id love to have a good in~depth heart to heart with someone thats easy on the eyes
    miimii0069 miimii0069 26-30, F 4 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I don't love casually. When I love, it's fierce. It's my soul ripped wide open and raw. It's my whole heart on display. It's all I have and everything I know, handed over to you...
    iSpyce iSpyce 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 29