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I Love Hearing a Good Comeback

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 645 People

    A Little 'flashy'

    a drunk walks into a restaurant and tries to get some service but he was too inebriated so the female manager asked him to leave. he got unruly so she threatened to call the police. He unzipped his pants and waved his private parts at her and said through his slurred speach "Oh...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

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    The Waitress

    The best comeback I have ever heard came from a waitress who was in my employment at the restaurant I was manager of. It goes like this. I had the night off as I had been invited to a birthday party by a wealthy acquaintance named Greg, along with a few others. It was to be a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 12, 2011

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    Touche!

    There's a book full of 'em called "Acid Drops" by English actor/raconteur Kenneth Williams,who had a famously sharp tongue. I like one where he argued with another actor and called him something nasty. The guy said "I could never talk to anyone like that!"...
    Rob22make3 Rob22make3 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 2, 2008

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    I hate thinking of an awesome

    when In that first hour after a fight where you are reliving the moment and you think of such a good one and it's like.. Damn
    JadenLangVageta JadenLangVageta 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

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    Nose Joke Anyone?

    Was walking with a friend when a car with three young men slowed along side us and one called out to my friend,"Hey blondie do you wanna come over here and sit on my face"as quick as a whip she replied with"why,is your nose bigger than your d.....k??Needless...
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2008

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    Back and Forth..

    I have to agree with the others, I do enjoy a good comeback, especially when I can throw it back and forth, it's like a word game and may the best one win.
    Krayons Krayons 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 3, 2008

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    Hmm....

    Good Comeback...well...I know I can comment and do good in here...Well...I know that I can try make Friends smile...if I can't...I'm not  working hard enough...
    mother1983 mother1983 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 17, 2008

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    I Couldn't Resist

    I love to hear a great comeback such as “ya’ll comeback now ya hear?” or “come back and see us real soon.”  Great Southern Hospitality at its finest.    
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 1 Response May 14, 2008

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    Skydiving

    my ex, and I were watching a movie one time and there were skydivers in it, She asked me "how long do they have to pull the ripcord"? I answered "The rest of their lives"
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 3, 2011

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    Saying Them Too

    i enjoy hearing them but am also happy with myself when i get to say one. one day, my husband jokingly told me that he would break my arm. i looked at him and told him that i would break his spirit. perhaps you had to be there.
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2008

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    Elephants

    A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster looks over at the elephant. After a few seconds he turns to his Dad and asks "Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?" His father replies "That's his trunk son." "No...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M Aug 3, 2011

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    The one I love hearing

    and I love saying is 'you peaked in high school'
    MixedJayy MixedJayy 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    Except

    As much as I love the cleverness of a good comeback. I'm not so great with them myself. Not always quick enough to get one in. Except for once in a while on accident.
    brwneyedbeauty brwneyedbeauty 18-21, F Dec 9, 2008

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    Be Prepared For Hecklers

    This is why men shouldn't breast feed!
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 19, 2008

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    Absolutely!

    A good comeback is a wonderful thing. Last year (only like a few months ago lol), my fiance and another man at his work were teaching a trainee, and my guy gave a direction that sounded vaguley off-colour. The other man laughed and said 'That's what your wife said when she saw...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    It Was Good Enough...

    Once I was walking down a street with two of my friends, and it was crowded. People were walking around, going to bars and the like. I was wearing these tight black and white striped pants I´ve got (which I love) with red sneakers. I wasn´t really paying attention...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 22, 2009

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    Blow Blow Blow

    Good comebacks are great to hear. Especially when they come out of my best friend's mouth. She is a gem when it comes to comebacks. I'm thankful I've never been on the receiving end of one. But, she sometimes forgets comebacks and blows in their ear instead. Something it seems...
    Luangi Luangi 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 12, 2008

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    Logic

    The next time a man/woman gives you the I'm just being logical stance in an arguement. Just pop this quote in. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. by Doctor Who
    firespryte firespryte 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2012

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    Take That

    There are few things as satisfying as a good comeback or retort. At the very most it disarms your opponent and at the very least it annoys or stuns them. Its like winning a debate, just a bit more petty. I can admit that at least. I just cant resist the urge to counter every...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F May 8, 2013

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    Especially...

    when it comes out of my mouth, haha I'm normally really awful at comebacks and can't think of anything good for a few hours. I did have a good one semi-recently however.  During the Beijing Olympic Ceremonies one of the guys sitting behind me said "How many fireworks...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T Nov 29, 2008

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    As A Typical Scouse Comedian, I Love Hecklers, As It Makes More Openings ...

    As a typical Scouse comedian, I love hecklers, as it makes more openings for comedy As a Groovy Grandad & ex-stepdad to 4 young lovelies, I even led with the chin & invited upset women to vent @ Ted Bundy Story in TV Too many folk bottle things up - even to the point of making...
    ShyButCreativeSexyGuy ShyButCreativeSexyGuy 46-50, M Jun 30, 2012

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    Goofy But Still...

    My favorite comeback of all time has got to be- " I know you are, but, what am I?"Ahahaha. That cracks me up everytime. I love it. It is just hilarious.  
    Lark33 Lark33 41-45, F Sep 4, 2012

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    Still Waiting!!

    I served an elderly man and his wife and after giving them their purchases,I said "thank  you, see you later" he turned to his wife and said"she always says that but never shows up"  
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2008

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    Love It!

    I posted this in another group, but I find it fitting here too. A joke someone once told me... A 19 year old boy recently joined the Army. After being away for just 4 months, he gets a letter from his girlfriend back home. In the letter, she tells him that since he's been gone...
    ladyzantorian ladyzantorian 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 20, 2012

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    Probably My Favorite One:

    HEHEHEHE last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my DINOSAUR. bahahahaha. yep, thats my favorite
    McLovinthegirl McLovinthegirl 16-17, F Dec 9, 2008

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    I've Just Gotta Share This!

    One Thanksgiving a few years ago my wife was in the Kitchen making a cup of coffee for my mother and she asked me: "How does your mom take her coffee" to which I quickly replied: "Orally!" 
    SRayne SRayne 51-55, M 2 Responses Aug 25, 2008

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    I Do,

    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 13, 2008

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    Heheh

    apparently i am very good in a fight, with good come backs. but i dont like confrontation so i dont get to show it. a swift verbal b**** slap is my speciality.
    ForeverAutumn ForeverAutumn 18-21, F Dec 21, 2008

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    Related Experiences

    I'd love a good massage from a lady with soft hand runnin 2ru my back down to ma legs oo do d feets too up 2 my shoulders d neck side all over..do it right I'll do you too...
    ojeezy ojeezy 22-25, M Apr 16

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    And at that very moment when I was standing in the kitchen I heard his voice. Hearing it made me both smile and cry and smile at the same time. He told me how he wanted to...
    Farmmaid Farmmaid 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 11

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    People aren't afraid of saying "I love you", they're afraid of hearing the response.
    MrRubberDuck MrRubberDuck 61-65, M Mar 27

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    Dear Pat, You came upon me carving some kind of little figure out of wood and you said, “Why don’t you make something for me?” I asked you what you wanted and you said, “A...
    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M Apr 3

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    Not all that feels good is good; Not all that is good feels good.
    streetcsi streetcsi 41-45, M 1 Response Apr 10

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    it's medicine for the soul right. Had a great laugh with two of my friends on here just last night we talked and laughed for an hour about silly things I really appreciate a good...
    RealSouthernGentleman RealSouthernGentleman 46-50, M 3 Responses Mar 28

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    A good massage can transport me to another world of tranquility and peace. Love someone who is skilled with their hands. :)
    Superficialsaint Superficialsaint 31-35, F 2 Responses Apr 2

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    “I think of love and how I could never tire of it. That even if it wore at my body and left me good & scarred that even then, I could never lose the courage to be fond of...
    jazzME jazzME 26-30, F Apr 3

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    I love headphones that are soft. Right now i'm using sennheiser hd 205. They are really good. Can recomend!
    Timgerer Timgerer 13-15, F Apr 5

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    The best thing to do is find a person who loves you for exactly who you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you. That's the kind of person that's worth...
    MrRubberDuck MrRubberDuck 61-65, M Apr 9

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    In my opinion the best thing you can you do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person...
    GWMH GWMH 56-60, M 7 Responses Apr 13

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    How to link with memory! A few old couples used to get together to talk about life and to have a good time. One day one of the men, Harry, started talking to his friends about...
    sacredlysensual sacredlysensual 61-65, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    love, such a sad and beautiful silly thing takes two to birth only one to die such comes the joy and power of hello and the sorrowful death of good-bye
    nocool nocool 41-45, M 5 Responses 5 days ago

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    And I love it when men smell good :) Makes my day so much better!
    MsInvis MsInvis 46-50, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Good night God bless 😘😘😘
    Neshia21 Neshia21 18-21 1 Response Mar 28

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    A good night's sleep feels amazing, but unfortunately staying up really late is enticing too...
    Blue707 Blue707 16-17, M Mar 28