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I Love Hearing a Good Comeback

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 656 People

    Nose Joke Anyone?

    Was walking with a friend when a car with three young men slowed along side us and one called out to my friend,"Hey blondie do you wanna come over here and sit on my face"as quick as a whip she replied with"why,is your nose bigger than your d.....k??Needless...
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2008

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    Saying Them Too

    i enjoy hearing them but am also happy with myself when i get to say one. one day, my husband jokingly told me that he would break my arm. i looked at him and told him that i would break his spirit. perhaps you had to be there.
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2008

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    Heheh

    apparently i am very good in a fight, with good come backs. but i dont like confrontation so i dont get to show it. a swift verbal b**** slap is my speciality.
    ForeverAutumn ForeverAutumn 18-21, F Dec 21, 2008

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    I Do,

    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 13, 2008

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    Be Prepared For Hecklers

    This is why men shouldn't breast feed!
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 19, 2008

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    Elephants

    A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster looks over at the elephant. After a few seconds he turns to his Dad and asks "Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?" His father replies "That's his trunk son." "No...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M Aug 3, 2011

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    Goofy But Still...

    My favorite comeback of all time has got to be- " I know you are, but, what am I?"Ahahaha. That cracks me up everytime. I love it. It is just hilarious.  
    Lark33 Lark33 41-45, F Sep 4, 2012

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    Probably My Favorite One:

    HEHEHEHE last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my DINOSAUR. bahahahaha. yep, thats my favorite
    McLovinthegirl McLovinthegirl 16-17, F Dec 9, 2008

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    Hmm....

    Good Comeback...well...I know I can comment and do good in here...Well...I know that I can try make Friends smile...if I can't...I'm not  working hard enough...
    mother1983 mother1983 31-35, F 8 Responses Sep 17, 2008

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    I hope I never have an opportunity to use this

    one, but it seems like it would feel satisfying under the right circumstances: "I have nightmares that I would forget before I ever forget about you."
    KatieTreat KatieTreat 51-55, T 1 Response May 12

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    It Was Good Enough...

    Once I was walking down a street with two of my friends, and it was crowded. People were walking around, going to bars and the like. I was wearing these tight black and white striped pants I´ve got (which I love) with red sneakers. I wasn´t really paying attention...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 22, 2009

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    Still Waiting!!

    I served an elderly man and his wife and after giving them their purchases,I said "thank  you, see you later" he turned to his wife and said"she always says that but never shows up"  
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2008

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    A Little 'flashy'

    a drunk walks into a restaurant and tries to get some service but he was too inebriated so the female manager asked him to leave. he got unruly so she threatened to call the police. He unzipped his pants and waved his private parts at her and said through his slurred speach "Oh...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

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    Skydiving

    my ex, and I were watching a movie one time and there were skydivers in it, She asked me "how long do they have to pull the ripcord"? I answered "The rest of their lives"
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 3, 2011

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    As A Typical Scouse Comedian, I Love Hecklers, As It Makes More Openings ...

    As a typical Scouse comedian, I love hecklers, as it makes more openings for comedy As a Groovy Grandad & ex-stepdad to 4 young lovelies, I even led with the chin & invited upset women to vent @ Ted Bundy Story in TV Too many folk bottle things up - even to the point of making...
    ShyButCreativeSexyGuy ShyButCreativeSexyGuy 46-50, M Jun 30, 2012

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    Absolutely!

    A good comeback is a wonderful thing. Last year (only like a few months ago lol), my fiance and another man at his work were teaching a trainee, and my guy gave a direction that sounded vaguley off-colour. The other man laughed and said 'That's what your wife said when she saw...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    Back and Forth..

    I have to agree with the others, I do enjoy a good comeback, especially when I can throw it back and forth, it's like a word game and may the best one win.
    Krayons Krayons 16-17, F 1 Response Feb 3, 2008

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    Best one I've heard lately: Creep: Age is just

    a number Me: Yeah and jail is just a room
    PinksTheNewBlack PinksTheNewBlack 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 6

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    The one I love hearing

    and I love saying is 'you peaked in high school'
    MixedJayy MixedJayy 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9, 2014

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    Blow Blow Blow

    Good comebacks are great to hear. Especially when they come out of my best friend's mouth. She is a gem when it comes to comebacks. I'm thankful I've never been on the receiving end of one. But, she sometimes forgets comebacks and blows in their ear instead. Something it seems...
    Luangi Luangi 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 12, 2008

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    I've Just Gotta Share This!

    One Thanksgiving a few years ago my wife was in the Kitchen making a cup of coffee for my mother and she asked me: "How does your mom take her coffee" to which I quickly replied: "Orally!" 
    SRayne SRayne 51-55, M 2 Responses Aug 25, 2008

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    Take That

    There are few things as satisfying as a good comeback or retort. At the very most it disarms your opponent and at the very least it annoys or stuns them. Its like winning a debate, just a bit more petty. I can admit that at least. I just cant resist the urge to counter every...
    Lullacus Lullacus 22-25, F May 8, 2013

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    Logic

    The next time a man/woman gives you the I'm just being logical stance in an arguement. Just pop this quote in. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. by Doctor Who
    firespryte firespryte 41-45, F 1 Response Aug 30, 2012

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    Especially...

    when it comes out of my mouth, haha I'm normally really awful at comebacks and can't think of anything good for a few hours. I did have a good one semi-recently however.  During the Beijing Olympic Ceremonies one of the guys sitting behind me said "How many fireworks...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T Nov 29, 2008

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    I Couldn't Resist

    I love to hear a great comeback such as “ya’ll comeback now ya hear?” or “come back and see us real soon.”  Great Southern Hospitality at its finest.    
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 1 Response May 14, 2008

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    I hate thinking of an awesome

    when In that first hour after a fight where you are reliving the moment and you think of such a good one and it's like.. Damn
    JadenLangVageta JadenLangVageta 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

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    Love It!

    I posted this in another group, but I find it fitting here too. A joke someone once told me... A 19 year old boy recently joined the Army. After being away for just 4 months, he gets a letter from his girlfriend back home. In the letter, she tells him that since he's been gone...
    ladyzantorian ladyzantorian 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 20, 2012

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    Except

    As much as I love the cleverness of a good comeback. I'm not so great with them myself. Not always quick enough to get one in. Except for once in a while on accident.
    brwneyedbeauty brwneyedbeauty 18-21, F Dec 9, 2008

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    The Waitress

    The best comeback I have ever heard came from a waitress who was in my employment at the restaurant I was manager of. It goes like this. I had the night off as I had been invited to a birthday party by a wealthy acquaintance named Greg, along with a few others. It was to be a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 12, 2011

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    Touche!

    There's a book full of 'em called "Acid Drops" by English actor/raconteur Kenneth Williams,who had a famously sharp tongue. I like one where he argued with another actor and called him something nasty. The guy said "I could never talk to anyone like that!"...
    Rob22make3 Rob22make3 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 2, 2008

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    A true friend will say the bad things to your face and the good things behind your back :)
    IntoDD IntoDD 41-45, F 5 days ago

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