I Love Hearing a Good Comeback

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 655 People

    I Do,

    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Sep 13, 2008

    A Little 'flashy'

    a drunk walks into a restaurant and tries to get some service but he was too inebriated so the female manager asked him to leave. he got unruly so she threatened to call the police. He unzipped his pants and waved his private parts at her and said through his slurred speach "Oh...
    Deepressed Deepressed
    56-60, M
    1 Response Aug 3, 2011

    Back and Forth..

    I have to agree with the others, I do enjoy a good comeback, especially when I can throw it back and forth, it's like a word game and may the best one win.
    Krayons Krayons
    18-21, F
    1 Response Feb 3, 2008

    It Was Good Enough...

    Once I was walking down a street with two of my friends, and it was crowded. People were walking around, going to bars and the like. I was wearing these tight black and white striped pants I´ve got (which I love) with red sneakers. I wasn´t really paying attention...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 22, 2009

    Saying Them Too

    i enjoy hearing them but am also happy with myself when i get to say one. one day, my husband jokingly told me that he would break my arm. i looked at him and told him that i would break his spirit. perhaps you had to be there.
    kittten kittten
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Jan 18, 2008

    The Waitress

    The best comeback I have ever heard came from a waitress who was in my employment at the restaurant I was manager of. It goes like this. I had the night off as I had been invited to a birthday party by a wealthy acquaintance named Greg, along with a few others. It was to be a...
    deleted deleted
    May 12, 2011

    Love It!

    I posted this in another group, but I find it fitting here too. A joke someone once told me... A 19 year old boy recently joined the Army. After being away for just 4 months, he gets a letter from his girlfriend back home. In the letter, she tells him that since he's been gone...
    ladyzantorian ladyzantorian
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 20, 2012

    Still Waiting!!

    I served an elderly man and his wife and after giving them their purchases,I said "thank  you, see you later" he turned to his wife and said"she always says that but never shows up"  
    keran keran
    36-40, F
    1 Response Aug 25, 2008


    The next time a man/woman gives you the I'm just being logical stance in an arguement. Just pop this quote in. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. by Doctor Who
    firespryte firespryte
    41-45, F
    1 Response Aug 30, 2012

    I hope I never have an opportunity to use this

    one, but it seems like it would feel satisfying under the right circumstances: "I have nightmares that I would forget before I ever forget about you."
    KatieTreat KatieTreat
    51-55, T
    1 Response May 12, 2015


    when it comes out of my mouth, haha I'm normally really awful at comebacks and can't think of anything good for a few hours. I did have a good one semi-recently however.  During the Beijing Olympic Ceremonies one of the guys sitting behind me said "How many fireworks...
    axelval axelval
    18-21, T
    Nov 29, 2008


    A good comeback is a wonderful thing. Last year (only like a few months ago lol), my fiance and another man at his work were teaching a trainee, and my guy gave a direction that sounded vaguley off-colour. The other man laughed and said 'That's what your wife said when she saw...
    sugarburn sugarburn
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jan 6, 2009

    Probably My Favorite One:

    HEHEHEHE last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my DINOSAUR. bahahahaha. yep, thats my favorite
    McLovinthegirl McLovinthegirl
    18-21, F
    Dec 9, 2008


    A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster looks over at the elephant. After a few seconds he turns to his Dad and asks "Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?" His father replies "That's his trunk son." "No...
    Deepressed Deepressed
    56-60, M
    Aug 3, 2011

    I've Just Gotta Share This!

    One Thanksgiving a few years ago my wife was in the Kitchen making a cup of coffee for my mother and she asked me: "How does your mom take her coffee" to which I quickly replied: "Orally!" 
    SRayne SRayne
    51-55, M
    2 Responses Aug 25, 2008

    Blow Blow Blow

    Good comebacks are great to hear. Especially when they come out of my best friend's mouth. She is a gem when it comes to comebacks. I'm thankful I've never been on the receiving end of one. But, she sometimes forgets comebacks and blows in their ear instead. Something it seems...
    Luangi Luangi
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Mar 12, 2008


    my ex, and I were watching a movie one time and there were skydivers in it, She asked me "how long do they have to pull the ripcord"? I answered "The rest of their lives"
    Deepressed Deepressed
    56-60, M
    2 Responses Aug 3, 2011

    Nose Joke Anyone?

    Was walking with a friend when a car with three young men slowed along side us and one called out to my friend,"Hey blondie do you wanna come over here and sit on my face"as quick as a whip she replied with"why,is your nose bigger than your d.....k??Needless...
    keran keran
    36-40, F
    1 Response Sep 14, 2008

    I hate thinking of an awesome

    when In that first hour after a fight where you are reliving the moment and you think of such a good one and it's like.. Damn
    JadenLangVageta JadenLangVageta
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Apr 9, 2014

    I Couldn't Resist

    I love to hear a great comeback such as “ya’ll comeback now ya hear?” or “come back and see us real soon.”  Great Southern Hospitality at its finest.    
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm
    46-50, F
    1 Response May 14, 2008

    Be Prepared For Hecklers

    This is why men shouldn't breast feed!
    ElLagarto ElLagarto
    56-60, M
    3 Responses Jan 19, 2008


    As much as I love the cleverness of a good comeback. I'm not so great with them myself. Not always quick enough to get one in. Except for once in a while on accident.
    brwneyedbeauty brwneyedbeauty
    18-21, F
    Dec 9, 2008

    Goofy But Still...

    My favorite comeback of all time has got to be- " I know you are, but, what am I?"Ahahaha. That cracks me up everytime. I love it. It is just hilarious.  
    Lark33 Lark33
    41-45, F
    Sep 4, 2012

    As A Typical Scouse Comedian, I Love Hecklers, As It Makes More Openings ...

    As a typical Scouse comedian, I love hecklers, as it makes more openings for comedy As a Groovy Grandad & ex-stepdad to 4 young lovelies, I even led with the chin & invited upset women to vent @ Ted Bundy Story in TV Too many folk bottle things up - even to the point of making...
    ShyButCreativeSexyGuy ShyButCreativeSexyGuy
    46-50, M
    Jun 30, 2012

    Take That

    There are few things as satisfying as a good comeback or retort. At the very most it disarms your opponent and at the very least it annoys or stuns them. Its like winning a debate, just a bit more petty. I can admit that at least. I just cant resist the urge to counter every...
    Lullacus Lullacus
    22-25, F
    May 8, 2013

    Best one I've heard lately: Creep: Age is just

    a number Me: Yeah and jail is just a room
    PinksTheNewBlack PinksTheNewBlack
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Jun 6, 2015

    The one I love hearing

    and I love saying is 'you peaked in high school'
    MixedJayy MixedJayy
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 9, 2014


    apparently i am very good in a fight, with good come backs. but i dont like confrontation so i dont get to show it. a swift verbal b**** slap is my speciality.
    ForeverAutumn ForeverAutumn
    18-21, F
    Dec 21, 2008
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