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I Love Hearing a Good Comeback

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 613 People

    Especially...

    when it comes out of my mouth, haha I'm normally really awful at comebacks and can't think of anything good for a few hours. I did have a good one semi-recently however.  During the Beijing Olympic Ceremonies one of the guys sitting behind me said "How many fireworks...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T Nov 29, 2008

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    Skydiving

    my ex, and I were watching a movie one time and there were skydivers in it, She asked me "how long do they have to pull the ripcord"? I answered "The rest of their lives"
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 2 Responses Aug 3, 2011

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    I Do,

    An old man was sitting on a bench at the mall. A young man walked up to the bench and sat down. He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, pink, blue, yellow, purple. The old man just stared. The young man said, "What's the matter old timer, never done...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Sep 13, 2008

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    I Couldn't Resist

    I love to hear a great comeback such as “ya’ll comeback now ya hear?” or “come back and see us real soon.”  Great Southern Hospitality at its finest.    
    fungirlmmm fungirlmmm 41-45, F 1 Response May 14, 2008

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    Probably My Favorite One:

    HEHEHEHE last time i heard that one i laughed so hard i fell off my DINOSAUR. bahahahaha. yep, thats my favorite
    McLovinthegirl McLovinthegirl 16-17, F Dec 9, 2008

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    Nose Joke Anyone?

    Was walking with a friend when a car with three young men slowed along side us and one called out to my friend,"Hey blondie do you wanna come over here and sit on my face"as quick as a whip she replied with"why,is your nose bigger than your d.....k??Needless...
    keran keran 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2008

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    Logic

    The next time a man/woman gives you the I'm just being logical stance in an arguement. Just pop this quote in. Logic merely enables one to be wrong with authority. by Doctor Who
    firespryte firespryte 41-45, F Aug 30, 2012

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    Heheh

    apparently i am very good in a fight, with good come backs. but i dont like confrontation so i dont get to show it. a swift verbal b**** slap is my speciality.
    ForeverAutumn ForeverAutumn 18-21, F Dec 21, 2008

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    Except

    As much as I love the cleverness of a good comeback. I'm not so great with them myself. Not always quick enough to get one in. Except for once in a while on accident.
    brwneyedbeauty brwneyedbeauty 18-21, F Dec 9, 2008

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    Back and Forth..

    I have to agree with the others, I do enjoy a good comeback, especially when I can throw it back and forth, it's like a word game and may the best one win.
    Krayons Krayons 16-18, F 1 Response Feb 3, 2008

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    Goofy But Still...

    My favorite comeback of all time has got to be- " I know you are, but, what am I?"Ahahaha. That cracks me up everytime. I love it. It is just hilarious.  
    Lark33 Lark33 41-45, F Sep 4, 2012

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    Touche!

    There's a book full of 'em called "Acid Drops" by English actor/raconteur Kenneth Williams,who had a famously sharp tongue. I like one where he argued with another actor and called him something nasty. The guy said "I could never talk to anyone like that!"...
    Rob22make3 Rob22make3 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 2, 2008

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    Hmm....

    Good Comeback...well...I know I can comment and do good in here...Well...I know that I can try make Friends smile...if I can't...I'm not  working hard enough...
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 8 Responses Sep 17, 2008

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    Still Waiting!!

    I served an elderly man and his wife and after giving them their purchases,I said "thank  you, see you later" he turned to his wife and said"she always says that but never shows up"  
    keran keran 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2008

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    It Was Good Enough...

    Once I was walking down a street with two of my friends, and it was crowded. People were walking around, going to bars and the like. I was wearing these tight black and white striped pants I´ve got (which I love) with red sneakers. I wasn´t really paying attention...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jan 22, 2009

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    I've Just Gotta Share This!

    One Thanksgiving a few years ago my wife was in the Kitchen making a cup of coffee for my mother and she asked me: "How does your mom take her coffee" to which I quickly replied: "Orally!" 
    SRayne SRayne 41-45 2 Responses Aug 25, 2008

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    Elephants

    A young boy goes to the zoo with his father. As they are passing the elephant exhibit the youngster looks over at the elephant. After a few seconds he turns to his Dad and asks "Dad, what's that hanging down from the elephant?" His father replies "That's his trunk son." "No...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M Aug 3, 2011

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    As A Typical Scouse Comedian, I Love Hecklers, As It Makes More Openings ...

    As a typical Scouse comedian, I love hecklers, as it makes more openings for comedy As a Groovy Grandad & ex-stepdad to 4 young lovelies, I even led with the chin & invited upset women to vent @ Ted Bundy Story in TV Too many folk bottle things up - even to the point of making...
    ShyButCreativeSexyGuy ShyButCreativeSexyGuy 46-50, M Jun 30, 2012

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    Take That

    There are few things as satisfying as a good comeback or retort. At the very most it disarms your opponent and at the very least it annoys or stuns them. Its like winning a debate, just a bit more petty. I can admit that at least. I just cant resist the urge to counter every...
    Lullacus Lullacus 18-21, F May 8, 2013

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    Love It!

    I posted this in another group, but I find it fitting here too. A joke someone once told me... A 19 year old boy recently joined the Army. After being away for just 4 months, he gets a letter from his girlfriend back home. In the letter, she tells him that since he's been gone...
    ladyzantorian ladyzantorian 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 20, 2012

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    I hate thinking of an awesome

    when In that first hour after a fight where you are reliving the moment and you think of such a good one and it's like.. Damn
    JadenLangVageta JadenLangVageta 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    *You're* His Present?

    This happened a couple years ago. It was in December (I think the week before we got out for Christmas vacation), and my friend was wearing a string tied around her stomach. "I'm my boyfriend's present," she said. "Did you keep the receipt?" I asked.
    Nvisiblenite Nvisiblenite 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 26, 2013

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    The Waitress

    The best comeback I have ever heard came from a waitress who was in my employment at the restaurant I was manager of. It goes like this. I had the night off as I had been invited to a birthday party by a wealthy acquaintance named Greg, along with a few others. It was to be a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 12, 2011

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    Blow Blow Blow

    Good comebacks are great to hear. Especially when they come out of my best friend's mouth. She is a gem when it comes to comebacks. I'm thankful I've never been on the receiving end of one. But, she sometimes forgets comebacks and blows in their ear instead. Something it seems...
    Luangi Luangi 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 12, 2008

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    Saying Them Too

    i enjoy hearing them but am also happy with myself when i get to say one. one day, my husband jokingly told me that he would break my arm. i looked at him and told him that i would break his spirit. perhaps you had to be there.
    kittten kittten 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 18, 2008

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    The one I love hearing

    and I love saying is 'you peaked in high school'
    MixedJayy MixedJayy 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    The Best Comeback Ever

     "Your mother wears army boots!".  This was a very good diss/comeback in the 1950's :D And my personal favorite... "Sit on it!" said by the character Fonzie on the show "Happy Days".
    FallingStarr FallingStarr 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27, 2010

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    Be Prepared For Hecklers

    This is why men shouldn't breast feed!
    ElLagarto ElLagarto 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 19, 2008

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    A Little 'flashy'

    a drunk walks into a restaurant and tries to get some service but he was too inebriated so the female manager asked him to leave. he got unruly so she threatened to call the police. He unzipped his pants and waved his private parts at her and said through his slurred speach "Oh...
    Deepressed Deepressed 46-50, M 1 Response Aug 3, 2011

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    Absolutely!

    A good comeback is a wonderful thing. Last year (only like a few months ago lol), my fiance and another man at his work were teaching a trainee, and my guy gave a direction that sounded vaguley off-colour. The other man laughed and said 'That's what your wife said when she saw...
    sugarburn sugarburn 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I love a good laugh!!! I find it very therapeutic. A chuckle or giggle is nice and polite laugh is enjoyable, but I am referring to an out-loud, bring you to tears belly laugh...
    selaparty selaparty 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 15

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    "It does'nt matter if you're going to do good or bad, People are gonna judge you anyway." - Me (Mahdi Raza) :D So don't live your life impressing others.
    mahdiraza mahdiraza 16-17, M 1 Response 4 hrs ago

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    If I had a baby boy I would call it Dakota and my other would be maybe Chase or Miles but I would go with Dakota because I just love that name if I had a girl as well I would call...
    tiashepherdx tiashepherdx 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered. Love them anyway. If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. If you are successful...
    umerqazi umerqazi 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    Lol some days are really good.for the most part I'm depressed and stuff but the good days are also there to look forward to.making friends and talking people who get me on here...
    dreamsNscreams dreamsNscreams 18-21, F Jul 8

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    When I look good. I feel good. i feel good about myself. I actually care what I look like before i walk out the door.
    addictedtoweightlifting addictedtoweightlifting 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 9

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    In the end everything turns out good. If it's not good you haven't reached the end yet. :D
    thus2 thus2 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    I got a new black satin robe and wore it for the first time tonight. My little boy said,"what is this?" I told him it was my new pajamas. He said,"oh, mama. I love your new pajamas...
    lizzie2u lizzie2u 31-35, F 12 Responses Jun 29

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    George Carlin Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you...
    lasergraph lasergraph 61-65, M 3 Responses Jun 30

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    "Love is like a drug. It's exciting when you're trying to get it. You let go off important things in order to get it. When you have it, it's the best thing ever. It's so good...
    Dojfax Dojfax 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 1

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    I just love people who can make me laugh. I think they just bring such good vibes.❤️
    tolii tolii 13-15, F Jul 6

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    I may only be young but I have been through enough to say. Everyone is amazing and awesome in their own way. You can only be yourself because everyone else is taken. Without dark...
    SurfingLogan SurfingLogan 18-21, M 1 Response Jul 8

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    A true friend is someone who thinks that you are a good egg even though he knows that you are slightly cracked. Bernard Meltzer Don't be afraid to give up the good to go for the...
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Jul 16

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    i)Clouds come floating into my life, no longer to carry rain or usher storm, but to add color to my sunset sky. Rabindranath Tagore ii)Thank you, dear God, for this good life and...
    Skpan80 Skpan80 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 18

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    This poem was written several decades ago but it is as relevant today as it was then--a timeless advice. Desiderata by Max Ehrmann Go placidly amid the noise and the haste, and...
    Homoeostasis Homoeostasis 18-21, F Jul 20

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    "There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on...
    sixfiveguy sixfiveguy 26-30, M a week ago

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    There's nothing quite as nice as drinking a good cup of tea at the perfect temperature where it both warms your body and soothes your soul with each sip. I don't know why people...
    randomobscurity randomobscurity 22-25, F a week ago

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    I really do enjoy a good laugh, whether it's with another person or myself I love to laugh! Hahahahaha :D
    Littlewallflowerx Littlewallflowerx 16-17, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    "People who claim they're evil are usually no worse than the rest of us. It's people who claim they're good, or any way better than the rest of us, that you have to be wary of."
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M Jun 30

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    I miss getting a good rear end massage. My wife won't do it anymore. :(
    SomeOtherGuy72 SomeOtherGuy72 41-45, M 6 Responses Jul 3

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    "If I know exactly what I'm going to do, what's the good in doing it? " -Pablo Picasso