Post

I Love Joke Time

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 21 People

    Embarrassment In The Library

    A guy asked a girl in a university library: "Do you mind if I sit beside you?” The girl replied with a loud voice: "I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!" All the students in the library started staring at the guy; he was truly embarrassed. After a couple of minutes...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Stephen1967 Stephen1967 46-50, M 3 Responses Oct 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How The Fight Started

    One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The next year, I didn't buy her a gift. When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!" And that's how the fight started...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses May 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Gravely ill...a man went to the doctor with his

    wife. After the examination the physician motioned for the wife to meet him in the hallway. "Your husband is very sick," the doctor said, "but there are three things you can do to ensure his survival. First, fix him three healthful, delicious meals a day. Next, give him a...
    justalittlelaugh justalittlelaugh 31-35, F Dec 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    LOL!..

    My Doctor ask if any members of my Family suffered from INSANITY. I replied, NO we all seems to enjoy it... It's a good Work out! :))
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 25, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Things Kids Say

            Ah,   Alas, where has all our innocence gone?  While I sat in the reception area  of my doctor's office, a woman rolled an elderly man in a wheelchair into the room. As she went...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M Nov 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two Hillbillies

    Two hillbillies walk into a restaurant. While having a bite to eat, they talk about their moonshine operation.Suddenly, a woman at a nearby table, who is eating a sandwich, begins to cough.After a minute or so, it becomes apparent that she is in real distress. One of the...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 17, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Her Side

    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee. Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box. Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week. Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl. And her husband is on the back of the milk carton...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response May 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Chicken And The Horse

    On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help! Off the chicken ran, back to...
    Stephen1967 Stephen1967 46-50, M 4 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Groundhog Day!!!!

    In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day. This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of supposed intelligence for...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 6, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Daddys Tummy

    One night a little girl walks in on her parents having sex. The mother is going up and down on the father and when she sees her daughter looking at them she immediately stops.“What are you doing, Mommy?” The mother too embarrassed to tell her little girl about sex so she...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F Sep 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The New Bull By Jerry Clower

    this is one of my favourite jerry clower jokes Three bulls are standing around overlooking a field full of cows when they overhear the farmer tell one of the cowhands to get the trailer ready to pick up a new bull. The old bull snorts and says, "I'm a tellin' ya what, there...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Testicle Therapy

    TESTICLE THERAPY Two women were playing golf. One teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole. The ball hit one of the men. He immediately clasped his hands together at his groin, fell to the ground and proceeded to...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses May 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Riddle I

    Here is a riddle for the intellectually minded. this one through!! At the exact same time, there are two young men on opposite sides of the earth: One is walking a tight rope between two skyscrapers; The other is getting a blow job from an 95 year old woman. They are each...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 4 Responses Jan 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas

    and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Too Bad

    SYLVIA: Hi! Wanda.WANDA: Hi! Sylvia.How'd you die?SYLVIA: I froze to death.WANDA: How horrible!SYLVIA: It wasn't so bad. After I quit shaking from the cold, I began to get warm & sleepy, and finally died a peaceful death.What about you?WANDA: I died of a massive heart attack. I...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Healthy Living???? Just Throwing This Out There....

    Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true? A: Heart only good for so many beats, and that it... Don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Bull Pills

    John went to the local bank to borrow money for a new bull. The loan was made and Banker Charlie , who lent the money, came by a week later to see how the bull was doing. John complained that the bull just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow. The Banker suggested that...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 13, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Diagnostic Computer

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor." "Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a...
    Stephen1967 Stephen1967 46-50, M 4 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two Irish Nuns

    Two Irish nuns were sitting at traffic light in their car when a bunch of rowdy drunks pulls up alongside of them.      "Hey, show us your ****, ye bloody penguins!” shouts one of the drunks.      The Mother Superior turns to Sister Immaculata, "I don't...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response Nov 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Girl On A Plane

    LITTLE GIRL ON A PLANE An atheist was seated next to a little girl on an airplane and he turned to her and said, "Do you want to talk? Flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger. The little girl, who had just started to read her book...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 6 Responses Nov 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Gator Shoes

    A BLONDE JOKE THAT YOU'VE NEVER HEARD BEFORE .. After becoming very frustrated with the attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the young blonde declared, 'Well, then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator and get a pair of alligator shoes for free!' The shopkeeper...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 6 Responses Jan 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What A Bird

    A guy is browsing in a pet shop, and sees a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't have any feet or legs. The guy says aloud, 'Jeesh, I wonder what happened to this parrot.?' The parrot says, 'I was born this way. I'm a defective parrot.' 'Holy crap,' the guy...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Matt's Favourite Animal

    Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken." She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed. My parents told me to always tell the truth. I did. Fried chicken is my favorite animal. I told my dad what...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 4 Responses Dec 8, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anthropomorphic Nouns

      We are all familiar with  a Herd of cows, A Flock of chickens, A School of fish And a Gaggle of geese.   A Pride of Lions,   However, less widely known is: A Murder of crows (as well as their cousins the rooks and ravens), An Exaltation of  doves   And...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    C.I.A. Try Outs

    The CIA The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done, there were three finalists, two men and a woman. For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response May 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He's A Little Slow...

    "How did it happen?" the doctor asked the middle-aged farmhand as he set the man's broken leg. "Well, doc 25 years ago"... "Never mind the past. Tell me how you broke your leg this morning." "Like I was saying... 25 years ago, when I first started working on the farm, I was a...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Blonde Guy Jokes..

    A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th." ------------------------------------ Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take them to a police station. One asked: "What if one...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 5 Responses Jan 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Old People Should Sext

    An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones. The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy. One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fight Like A Man

    There were three guys talking in the pub. Two of them are talking about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third remains quiet.After a while one of the first two turns to the third and says, “Well, what about you, what sort of control do you have over...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Simple Truths

    The below Simple Truths and 5 Rules of Life seemed to be fairly valid. Pay special attention to Rule #1 (on topic). SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex. However after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Blonde And The Nail

    The Nail A blonde city girl named Amy marries a Missouri farmer. One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the rancher says to Amy: 'The insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of our cows today, so I drove a nail into the 2 by 4 just above where the cow's...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 5 Responses Feb 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Robbery

    On Friday, A hooded robber burst into a bank and, at gunpoint, forced the tellers to load their cash into a plain brown bag. As the robber approached the door, one brave customer grabbed the hood and pulled it off, revealing the robber's face. Without a moment's hesitation, the...
    Stephen1967 Stephen1967 46-50, M 5 Responses Sep 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just A Few Things Confucius Did Not Say

      Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient. Passionate kiss, like spider web, leads to undoing of fly. Lady who goes camping must beware of evil intent. Squirrel who runs up woman's leg will not find nuts. Man who leaps off cliff jumps to conclusion. Man who runs in...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Oct 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Kids Will Be Kids...

    Did you hear about the teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put his boots on? He asked for help and she could see why. With her pulling and him pushing, the boots still didn't want to go on. When the second boot was on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response May 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Smartest Man In The World

    A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute and yelled...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 16, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Psychiatrists Vs. Bartenders

    EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I WENT TO A SHRINK AND TOLD HIM: 'I've got problems. Every time I go to bed I think there's somebody hiding under it. I'm scared. I think I'm going crazy.' 'Just put yourself in my hands...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Nba Versus Nfl - U Gotta Love This Who Is The Bigger Bunch Of Thugs

    NBA versus NFL - u gotta love this............................ GUESS WHICH ONE....... Even if you aren’t a sports fan this is very interesting! ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? 36 have been accused of spousal abuse 7 have been arrested for fraud 19 have been accused of writing bad...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Best Friend!..

    The bartender looks down to the end of the bar and sees a guy with his head down who hasn't touched his drink for over a half an hour. He heads over to talk to him. Bartender: "Hey pal, is something wrong?" The Guy: "Yeah,...I'm really depressed." Bartender: "Why, what's the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay Are You As Smart As You Think You Are

    Mensa Question: give it some thought before peeking at the answer. You are on a horse, galloping at a constant speed. On your right side is a sharp drop-off. And on your left side is a tiger traveling at the same speed as you. Directly in front of you is another galloping horse...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Irish Priest Vs. Texas Cop

    An Irish priest was transferred to Texas . >> >> Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring >> day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of >> his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then >> noticed there...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Want To Buy That!..

    A Blonde goes into a nearby store and ask a clerk if she can buy the T.V in the corner. The clerk looks at her and says that he doesn't serve blondes, so she goes back home and dyes her hair black. The next day she returns to the store and asked the same thing, and again, the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 May 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Wise Italian Grandpa

    Why Italian fathers and grandfathers pass their guns down through the family....An old Italian man is dying, he calls his grandson to his bedside, "Guido, I wan' you lissina me. I wan' you to take-a my chrome plated ..38 revolver so you will always remember me.""But grandpa, I...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Okay Heres One More Chance To Prove Just How Smart You Are..

    Genius Test . You only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to pass. 1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 2) Which country makes Panama hats? 3) From which animal do we get cat gut? 4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? 5) What is a camel...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 2 Responses Aug 5, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The First Visit!!

    On his first visit to a girl's house, he waited in the living room while she prepared a snack in the kitchen... Left alone, he noticed a small attractive vase on the Mantelpiece. He picked it up and was looking at it when the girl walked back in.. "What's this?" he ask? "Oh, my...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Perspectives

    ONIONS & CHRISTMAS TREES A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there? The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, there are three kinds of Boobs: In her 20's, a woman's are like melons, round and firm. In her 30's to 40...
    Dibergaig Dibergaig 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 8, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Fish

    A husband and wife came for counseling after 15 years of marriage. When asked what the problem was, the wife went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 15 years they had been married. She went on and on and on: neglect, lack...
    specks77 specks77 36-40, F 5 Responses Sep 16, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Messy Place..

    One afternoon a man came home from work to find total mayhem in his house. His three children were outside, still in there pajamas, playing in the mud, with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn all around the front yard. The door of his wife's car was open, as was the front door...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response May 12, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Related Experiences

    A store that sells “New Husbands” has opened in city where a woman may go to choose a husband. There are six floors and the value of the products increases as the shopper...
    esteem29 esteem29 26-30, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My friends and I have this running joke called "Turbo Tuesday." Tuesday is the most boring goddam day of the week, because it's not Monday where you're fresh off from the weekend...
    BlueMetalChick BlueMetalChick 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Serious question about a joke. Here is a joke. At the end of the joke, I ask some questions about your reaction to it. A man and a woman are alone in the elevator of a tall office...
    eddiecarbone eddiecarbone 61-65, M 7 Responses Mar 27

    Your Response

    Cancel
    PUNOGRAPHY • I tried to catch some fog. I mist. • When chemists die, they barium. • Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. • A soldier who survived mustard gas...
    diablesse34 diablesse34 46-50, F 15 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Punography (A play on words) When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 28

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Animal Jokes Question And Answer Animal Jokes Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager. A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either. Q: Which side of a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 14

    Your Response

    Cancel
    In anticipation of a TV drama that is going to be shown soon based on the life of my favourite comedian, Tommy Cooper, here are some of his jokes. ********************** I went...
    vector8 vector8 46-50, F 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Joke from Robert DeNiro An actor had been out of work for 15 years because he always forgot his lines. Then one day he got a phone call from a director who wanted him for a big...
    StarSphere StarSphere 51-55, M Apr 8

    Your Response

    Cancel