I Love Jokes and I Love to Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 300 People

    So, this dad always tricked his kids into

    eating deer meat. The only clue he gave was "it's what mommy calls me" The little boy started to look worried, looked up at them and yelled "it's a ******* ****, don't eat it!!"
    SweeterThanFiction SweeterThanFiction
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 1, 2015

    So a fella buys a female parrot.

    Looks beautiful! But the mouth on her!!!! Foulest language you could imagine!!! And some you can't! "My name is Becky and I like to ****!" Anyway. Off to church he goes one Sunday morning and after the service, he hangs back to have a word with the vicar. They get chatting and...
    picklebobble picklebobble
    51-55, M
    Jan 11, 2015

    A little boy wanted $100.

    00 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then he decided to write GOD a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to GOD USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. the President was so impressed, touched, and...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 28, 2014

    We can't all be great poets

    or writers. We can't all speak a language different to our own. But one thing that unites us all is humour. And there's nothing funnier than being human.
    picklebobble picklebobble
    51-55, M
    Nov 4, 2014

    On the first day God created t.

    .. On the first day God created the cow. God said, "You must go to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will give you a life span of sixty years." The cow said, "That's a kind of a tough life you...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Nov 4, 2014

    Funny Sex

    i like girls who show off everything and anything
    springer08 springer08
    31-35, M
    1 Response Apr 9, 2010

    Singles "I met my wife at a singles' bar.

    " "Really?" "I thought she was home with the kids."
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Aug 30, 2014

    **** Cheney walks into the Oval Office

    and sees The President whooping and hollering. "What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired. "Nothing at all, boss. I just done finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time!" The President beamed. "How long did it take you?" "Well, the box said '3 to 5 Years...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Nov 3, 2014

    A man went to the pub with his wife.

    When he left for the counter to buy drinks a prostitute approached his wife & whispered, "You must DEMAND cash before sex, I know him he doesn't pay.
    Toohottohandle1 Toohottohandle1
    36-40, F
    1 Response Mar 26, 2014

    For two years I managed a group of musicians

    who proudly labeled themselves "the loudest rock 'n roll band in L.A." One night, during a particularly rowdy and raucous rehearsal, the group took a break. Rubbing one ear, the lead singer asked, "Hey, are you guys losing your hearing?" The bass player shrugged and, pointing...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jan 10, 2015

    Joke from the movie Zootopia.

    What do you call a three humped camel? Pregnant!!!!! Lol.
    Tagstar2000 Tagstar2000
    16-17, M
    Mar 27, 2016

    The Repeater

    The little kid was driving his mother crazy so she finully said: ''go across the street and watch the men building the house because maybe you might just learn some thing.. He came back a while later.. His mother asked him..''did you learn any thing?'' yea mommy i did He says...
    Lonelycinderella Lonelycinderella
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 10, 2009

    husband and wife were having an argument.

    the wife said "just because have one doesn't mean you need to act like one" but the husband shrugs it off. later that day, family goes to a friend's bbq. husband tells his daughter "you cant get up until you finish all of your food" husband turns back. daughter saids, " Your A...
    Tatiana163 Tatiana163
    18-21, F
    Mar 28, 2016
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