Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 46,888 People

    Why is a newspaper ten times more interesting

    when the person across the aisle is reading it?
    2015ishere 2015ishere 36-40, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Mature Lady

    A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one...
    darkice123 darkice123 36-40, M 100 Responses Sep 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    2015ishere 2015ishere 36-40, F 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Linda's Daily Joke...........men Are Like.......

    Men Are Like... Men are like a deck of cards.... You need a heart to love them A Diamond to marry them A Club to beat them And a spade to bury the bastards
    linda linda 21-25, F 38 Responses Nov 3, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Johnny, where's your homework?

    " Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. "My dog ate it," was his solemn response. "Johnny, I've been a teacher for eighteen years. Do you really expect me to believe that?" "It's true, Miss Martin, I swear," insisted Johnny. "I had to force him...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One day, the teacher walks into her classroom

    and announces to the class that on each Friday, she will ask a question to the class and anyone who answers correctly doesn't have to go to school the following Monday. On the first Friday, the teacher asks, "How many grains of sand are in the beach?" Needless to say, no one...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Counting... One, Two, Three....

    Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that...
    SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 54 Responses Jan 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    George and Laura Bush are at the first baseball

    game of the season. Suddenly George grabs Laura by the collar and throws her over the side and onto the field. The stunned umpire shouted, No, Mr. President! I said, `Throw the first PITCH!
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A husband went to police station to report his

    missing wife..... Husband : I’ve lost my wife, she went shopping yesterday and has still not come home. Sergeant: What is her height? Husband : Oh, 5 something . . . Sergeant: Build? Husband : Not slim, not really fat. Sergeant: Color of eyes? Husband : Never noticed...
    undecided1129 undecided1129 18-21, F 8 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Lose Weight, For You Guys

    JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign...
    hellimus hellimus 26-30, M 56 Responses Sep 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Don't have phone sex.

    ..you might get hearing aids :)
    thumper15 thumper15 18-21, F 5 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Daily Joke 11-1-2006

    Too Many Buttons A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she...
    linda linda 21-25, F 32 Responses Nov 1, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are all jokes some form of a riddle,

    or are riddles really a good joke?
    SkyllerRush SkyllerRush 16-17, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cyber Sex Chat

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 53 Responses May 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Johnny had become a real nuisance

    while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework, video games...but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Wax Your Hoo-ha

    All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that...
    DEGBEME DEGBEME 61-65, M 156 Responses Feb 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

    I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so...
    tittickler tittickler 41-45, F 49 Responses Mar 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Best Pick Up Line Ever

    A Scotsman walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, he gives her a quick glance, then , casually looks at his watch for a moment Now, the woman notices this, and asks him, Is your date running late ? NO he replies i just got this "state of the art" watch...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 68 Responses Jun 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Jane comes home from her first day at

    school. Mommy says "Jane, how was your first day?" Jane says, " it was good Mommy, little johnny showed me his wee wee"! The mother gets somewhat upset at this revelation and asks, "Jane, so what did you think of that?" Jane says, "it reminded me of a peanut". The mother is now...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little Johnny, Billy

    and Tommy were walking home from school one warm spring day. As they were cutting through the alleys and backyards, they happened to look through a hole in the fence of one of the yards where a woman was sunbathing in the nude. As they looked through the hole, Johnny suddenly...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are My Testicles Black?

    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask, "Are my...
    Wistina Wistina 22-25, F 37 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Despite the old saying,

    "Don't take your troubles to bed", many women still sleep with their husbands.
    2015ishere 2015ishere 36-40, F 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Three women are on death row in Utah (death

    penalty by firing squad) and about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests. She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready.....Aim....." Suddenly the...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anger Managment

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it...
    TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 36-40 39 Responses Aug 27, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Man And The Cat

    A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast...
    CassiaDream CassiaDream 18-21, F 14 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That

    There was once this man who requested to see both heaven and hell before dying. So when he went to hell, he saw people sitting around a circle table with the food in the center trying to feed themselves with ten foot long chopsticks. They were all starving because of it. Then...
    iriseyes iriseyes 21-25, F 21 Responses Nov 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Bible study group was discussing the

    unforeseen possibility of their sudden death. The leader of the discussion said, "We will all die some day, and none of us really know when, but if we did we would all do a better job of preparing ourselves for that inevitable event." "Everybody nodded their heads in agreement...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Assume That Men Understand.

    A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there...
    deleted deleted 26-30 116 Responses Dec 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lil' Johnny and Lil' Suzie were walking home

    from school one day. As they walked along, they saw two dogs knotted up along side the road, going at it like rabbits. "What are they doing, Johnny?" Suzie asked. Well, Lil' Johnny, being a man of the world for all his 12 years, knew what they were doing, but was embarrassed to...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A blonde walked into the dentist office

    and sat down in a chair. The dentist said "Open Wide" "I can't" The blonde said. "This chair has arms"
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The teacher decided to see how many of the city

    kids knew what sounds farm animals made. She asked the kids to put their hands up if they knew the correct sound. "Who knows what sound a cow makes?" she asked. Cindy put her hand up and said "Moooo!" "Very good" replied the teacher,"what sound does sheep make?" "Baaaa" answered...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher,

    posed the following problem to one of her classes: "A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?" After a very long silence in the...
    undecided1129 undecided1129 18-21, F 1 Response 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Are Never Depressed

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can be President. You can...
    climber1 climber1 66-70, M 53 Responses Mar 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A man was travelling across the country

    and stopped at a halfway house to use the bathroom. He was on the toilet when he heard a voice coming from the stall next-door, “Hey! How’s it going?” Although quite surprised, not really in the habit of conversing to people in the toilet stalls, he hesitantly answered...
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F 6 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My grandmother died in her late 80's

    but her birthday is coming up, and that always causes me to reminisce: The long walks we used to take to the shop in town, the 5 cents she gave me for meaningless jobs like pulling weeds or cleaning off the driveway, her soothing hands when I would get hurt, but the thing I...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I only have 1 word to say to the women

    that look at me as a sex object!! Hellllloooo!!!
    Peeters1 Peeters1 46-50, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A father passing by his son's bedroom,

    was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands... "Dear, Dad. It...
    lovingCuteSmartGirl lovingCuteSmartGirl 18-21, F 34 Responses Aug 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I used to be fuc**ng stupid,

    but then we broke up.
    thumper15 thumper15 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Prisoner Has Escaped!

    A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the...
    BhabeDel BhabeDel 41-45, F 48 Responses Sep 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    CORN ALERT! Q: When is a good time to go to the

    dentist? A: 2:30 (tooth hurtie) ...you cant say you weren't WARNED..... ... .. . .
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "dad, What Is Politics?"

    A little boy goes to see his Dad and asks, "Dad, What is politics?" His Dad says: "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're...
    righteouschica righteouschica 18-21, F 21 Responses Sep 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Is Priceless

    I used to be like this... Then I met a girl... She was like this... Together, we were like this... I gave her gifts like this... When she accepted my proposal, I was like this... I used to talk to her all night like this.. And at the office I used to do this... When my friends...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 62 Responses Apr 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cardiologist's Funeral

    This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral... A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 69 Responses Oct 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Italy Vs. Greece

    A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics" The Italian, nodding agreement, says...
    deleted deleted 26-30 36 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Presidents Washington,

    Lincoln, Reagan, and Obama were all captured by tribesmen from the Lower Delta region of Mongolia. They were ushered up a long winding path that led to the top of a gorge overlooking the valley. Standing right on the edge of the precipice, they were approached by the tribe's...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Best Aussie Joke Of The Year.

    Sheila,the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Michael. "Michael,Michael " she yelled...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 41-45, F 45 Responses Mar 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One day God came to Adam to pass on some news.

    "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said. Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first." Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you. One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear Dogs And Cats:

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 51-55, F 32 Responses Sep 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Irish Prostitute

    An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru...
    deleted deleted 26-30 64 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "why Don't You Please Shut Up??"

    "A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up...
    valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 78 Responses Jan 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Life Facts. These facts are irrefutable.

    Be careful . . . . . A wise person once said: 1. We all love to spend money buying new clothes but we never realize that the best moments in life are enjoyed without clothes. 2. Having a cold drink on hot day with a few friends is nice, but having a hot friend on a cold night...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel