Post

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 33,429 People

    A guy sits at the bar and orders a drink, a second later a real short guy jumps out of his shirt pocket and starts running up and down the bar knocking drinks over, kicking over...
    Mrperfectstranger Mrperfectstranger 51-55, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Counting... One, Two, Three.... - Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but...
    SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 44 Responses Jan 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Two children were in the Doctor's waiting room. The little girl started crying. Little boy asked her "Why are you crying?" The girl said "I'm here for blood test and the Doctor is...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Daily Joke 11-1-2006 - Too Many Buttons A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that...
    linda linda 21-25, F 32 Responses Nov 1, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cardiologist's Funeral - This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral... A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital...
    deleted deleted 26-30 69 Responses Oct 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car, his father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Here's a riddle for ya: So a man walks out of his house to hunt for bears, he walks 2 miles south, then 3 miles east. To get home he goes 2 miles north. What colour was the bear...
    OscarMC OscarMC 18-21, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    When the surgeon came to see his blonde patient on the day after her operation, she asked him somewhat hesitantly just how long it would be before she could resume her sex life...
    AgingGracefully AgingGracefully 51-55, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Irish Prostitute - An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child...
    deleted deleted 26-30 63 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Never Assume That Men Understand. - A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area...
    deleted deleted 26-30 115 Responses Dec 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I just wanted to post a picture of my '****, it's a nice '****, pretty big '**** as well. Now you can't just grab my '****, picture only cause only I know how to stroke my...
    Mrperfectstranger Mrperfectstranger 51-55, M 5 Responses 9 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    What did the egg day to the pot of boiling water? "I'm going to have difficulty getting hard since I just got laid by a chic. "
    chastewhisperer chastewhisperer 41-45, F 3 Responses 4 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    2 kids were deciding what game to play. One said "Lets play doctors and patients" The 2nd kid answered "Ok, you'll be the doctor, I'll sue".
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 3 Responses 16 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    What do you get when you mix a rhetorical question with a joke?
    OscarMC OscarMC 18-21, M 6 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    I wish I could sleep buy my stupid ADHD kicks in and, well, basically, one sheep, two sheep, cow, turtle, duck, old macdonald had a farm, heyyyyyyyyyyyyy macarena.
    dandydan1999 dandydan1999 51-55, M 7 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    "dad, What Is Politics?" - A little boy goes to see his Dad and asks, "Dad, What is politics?" His Dad says: "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of...
    righteouschica righteouschica 18-21, F 15 Responses Sep 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A traveling sales man knock at an old farm house with a barn in the back yard. A young boy answers the door. “Good afternoon young man, is your mother home?” the boy replies...
    dwc294 dwc294 46-50, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    "why Don't You Please Shut Up??" - "A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it...
    valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 65 Responses Jan 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Are My Testicles Black? - A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical...
    Wistina Wistina 22-25, F 25 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    THE FISHING TRIP A man calls home to his wife on a Thursday and says, "Honey, I have been asked to fly to Canada with my boss and several of his friends for fishing.. We'll be...
    yearnformore yearnformore 61-65, F 1 Response 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My Daily Joke...suspicious Mother - Suspicious Mother Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing...
    linda linda 21-25, F 33 Responses Nov 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Italy Vs. Greece - A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 30 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    a Woman's Ultimate Fantasy - A Woman's Ultimate Fantasy... In a recent On-line poll 38,562 men across the UK were asked to identify a woman's ultimate fantasy. 98.8% of the...
    iriseyes iriseyes 21-25, F 22 Responses Nov 18, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Why Men Are Never Depressed - WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The...
    climber1 climber1 61-65, M 41 Responses Mar 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A man goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you about it." The Rabbi asked, "What's wrong?" The man replied, "My wife is...
    MrsH2010 MrsH2010 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Confucius says... Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants. Confucius says... If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient. Confucius says...
    halo198 halo198 51-55, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cyber Sex Chat - Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines...
    deleted deleted 26-30 50 Responses May 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Dave bursts into the house, "Daddy! My GPA is 3.78 on a scale of 4!" The father is amazed and says "This calls for a party." The father takes Dave on a ride around town to shopping...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A child asked his father, "How were people born?" So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then their babies became adults and made babies, and so on." The child then went to...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Prisoner Has Escaped! - A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart...
    BhabeDel BhabeDel 41-45, F 44 Responses Sep 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Dear Dogs And Cats: - The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 46-50, F 27 Responses Sep 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A Mature Lady - A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I...
    darkice123 darkice123 36-40, M 84 Responses Sep 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Anger Managment - When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't...
    TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 70+ 31 Responses Aug 27, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Man And The Cat - A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was...
    CassiaDream CassiaDream 18-21, F 8 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
     Daaru ki vajah se Barbad Sharabi ne Kasam li.........Aur ghar se Daru ki khali bottles fekne laga..........1st fekte bola - Teri vajah se Meri Naukri gayi.........2nd fekte...
    esteem29 esteem29 26-30, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Linda's Daily Joke...........men Are Like....... - Men Are Like... Men are like a deck of cards.... You need a heart to love them A Diamond to marry them A Club to beat...
    linda linda 21-25, F 39 Responses Nov 3, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A telemarketer (tm) calls a house and a child answers the phone with a whisper, "hello?" Tm gives a quick hello back then asks if his parents were home. Kid whispers back, "yea...
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 5 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Eight men have been at a mental hospital for a period of time and are being tested to find out how they are progressing in order for them to leave the institution. The doctor in...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Q: What do you call the operation, when a man is switch over to be a female? A: A sex change operation Q: What do you call the operation, when a woman is made into a man? A...
    dwc294 dwc294 46-50, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A Man goes to the doctor for a check, and the doctor exams him and says "I've got bad news, you've got cancer and alzheimers" The man goes "Thank god I don't have cancer"
    jayciedubb jayciedubb 46-50, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Best Pick Up Line Ever - A Scotsman walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, he gives her a quick glance, then , casually looks at his watch for a...
    ExtremeNextHTNF ExtremeNextHTNF 26-30, F 52 Responses Jun 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My Daily Joke .... Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? - Why did the chicken cross the road?: PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. DR. SEUSS: Did...
    linda linda 21-25, F 37 Responses Nov 5, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Q: Why have scientists started using lawyers for experiments instead of rats? A: They don't become so attached to the lawyers.
    halo198 halo198 51-55, M 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    There was a farmer who had a horse and a goat. One day, the horse became ill. So he called the veterinarian, who said, "Well, your horse has a virus. He must take this medicine for...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That - There was once this man who requested to see both heaven and hell before dying. So when he went to hell, he saw people sitting around a circle...
    iriseyes iriseyes 21-25, F 20 Responses Nov 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Never Wax Your Hoo-ha - All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on...
    DEGBEME DEGBEME 56-60, M 153 Responses Feb 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    One morning at a doctor's clinic, a patient arrives complaining of serious back pain. The doctor examines him and asks, "Tell me, what happened to your back?" The patient replies...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    THE Blonde Joke to End All Blonde Jokes - A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red > sports car and > was pulled over by a woman police officer who was...
    dasmuggler dasmuggler 36-40, M 146 Responses Jan 16, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel
    How To Lose Weight, For You Guys - JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.. The next day, there's a knock on the door...
    hellimus hellimus 26-30, M 49 Responses Sep 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Silk Pyjamas - A man called home to his wife and said: "Honey I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss and several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This...
    EbonyLady EbonyLady 41-45, F 41 Responses Aug 21, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A pastor was praying for a demon-possessed man. He shouted, "In the name of Jesus, what do you want from this Man?! Speak! Before I cast you out into the lake of fire! The demon in...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Daily Joke 10-31-2006 - I start with a 'safe' joke about a blonde girl... (he thats me ;-) ) A highway patrolman pulled up alongside a speeding car on the freeway. As the officer...
    linda linda 21-25, F 37 Responses Oct 31, 2006

    Your Response