Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 52,394 People

    "Bless me Father, for I have sinned.

    I have been with a loose girl." The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?" "Yes, Father, it is." "And who was the girl you were with?" "I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation." "Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so...
    tittickler tittickler 41-45, F 51 Responses Mar 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There was once a great actor

    who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 3 Responses 15 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The class teacher asks students to name an

    animal that begins with an “E”. One boy says, “Elephant.” Then the teacher asks for an animal that begins with a “T”. The same boy says, “Two elephants.” The teacher sends the boy out of the class for bad behavior. After that she asks for an animal beginning...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cardiologist's Funeral

    This would be an acceptable reason to laugh at a funeral... A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital where he had worked for most of his life. A huge heart, covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all...
    deleted deleted 26-30 66 Responses Oct 10, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Type Of Lover

    John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." John says, "Well, give me some examples." Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if a...
    1petitegreeneyes 1petitegreeneyes 46-50, F 52 Responses Aug 31, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Irish Prostitute

    An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru...
    deleted deleted 26-30 62 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Mature Lady

    A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one...
    darkice123 darkice123 36-40, M 101 Responses Sep 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Is Priceless

    I used to be like this... Then I met a girl... She was like this... Together, we were like this... I gave her gifts like this... When she accepted my proposal, I was like this... I used to talk to her all night like this.. And at the office I used to do this... When my friends...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 60 Responses Apr 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A woman was out golfing one day

    when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Man And The Cat

    A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast...
    CassiaDream CassiaDream 18-21, F 16 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Best Aussie Joke Of The Year.

    Sheila,the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Michael. "Michael,Michael " she yelled...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 45 Responses Mar 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Best Pick Up Line Ever

    A Scotsman walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, he gives her a quick glance, then , casually looks at his watch for a moment Now, the woman notices this, and asks him, Is your date running late ? NO he replies i just got this "state of the art" watch...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 70 Responses Jun 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What does a gynaecologist do

    when he feels sentimental? He looks up an old girlfriend.
    Johndoe10000 Johndoe10000 46-50, M 7 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a

    new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat. On the first...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 6 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench

    munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q. Why are married women heavier

    than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Daily Joke...suspicious Mother

    Suspicious Mother Brian invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was. Brian's Mom had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and...
    linda linda 18-21, F 33 Responses Nov 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are My Testicles Black?

    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask, "Are my...
    Wistina Wistina 22-25, F 36 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "dad, What Is Politics?"

    A little boy goes to see his Dad and asks, "Dad, What is politics?" His Dad says: "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me Capitalism. Your Mum, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're...
    righteouschica righteouschica 18-21, F 21 Responses Sep 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A woman and a man are involved in a car

    accident; it's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished, but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

     

    Aryg Aryg 36-40, F 1 Response 16 mins ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated

    Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
    lovingCuteSmartGirl lovingCuteSmartGirl 18-21, F 4 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Counting... One, Two, Three....

    Harry is getting along in years and finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man. The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that...
    SaratogaGirl SaratogaGirl 26-30, F 55 Responses Jan 20, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer

    for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On Saturday afternoon,

    I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my girl mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me, "You should be hung!" I took another drink from my bottle of beer, wiped the cold foam from my lips...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Are Never Depressed

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can be President. You can...
    climber1 climber1 66-70, M 53 Responses Mar 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    An old Italian Mafia Don is dying

    and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed. "Lissin a me, I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated .38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me." The grandson smiles weakly and replies, "But Grandpa, I really dona lika guns. Howz 'bout you leava me you Rolex...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cyber Sex Chat

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 55 Responses May 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A woman is pregnant with triplets.

    One day she goes to a bank as it was being held up. She gets shot three times in her stomach, but luckily she lives. She goes to the doctor when tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out. So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of...
    AlphaStigma77 AlphaStigma77 13-15, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Prisoner Has Escaped!

    A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the...
    BhabeDel BhabeDel 41-45, F 47 Responses Sep 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mr. Sharma comes home one night,

    and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody." The next day, Mrs. Sharma receives a telephone call from Reliance...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A girl came home from school.

    Her mother asked, “Dear how was your first day at school?” And the girl replied, “First day? You mean I have to go back there tomorrow?”
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Walmart Shopper

    After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 113 Responses Sep 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Assume That Men Understand.

    A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there...
    deleted deleted 26-30 113 Responses Dec 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear Dogs And Cats:

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 51-55, F 32 Responses Sep 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anger Managment

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it...
    TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 36-40 39 Responses Aug 27, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A blonde was really tired of being made fun of,

    so she decided to have her hair changed so she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country. After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, “Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!” She...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Lookin4fun00 Lookin4fun00 13-15, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Lose Weight, For You Guys

    JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign...
    hellimus hellimus 26-30, M 53 Responses Sep 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Riddle Me This, Riddle Me That

    There was once this man who requested to see both heaven and hell before dying. So when he went to hell, he saw people sitting around a circle table with the food in the center trying to feed themselves with ten foot long chopsticks. They were all starving because of it. Then...
    iriseyes iriseyes 18-21, F 21 Responses Nov 6, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Scientists have discovered a food

    that diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%. It's called a wedding cake.
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    15 Rules of Bedroom Golf: Each player shall

    furnish his own equipment. Play on a course must be approved by the owner of the hole. Unlike outdoor golf, the object is to get the club in the hole and keep the balls out. For most effective play, the club requires a firm shaft. Course owners may check shaft stiffness...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 4 Responses 22 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Mother, can I have those apples on the

    sideboard?” “Yes, dear!” “Oh, I am so glad you said yes.” “Why, are you so hungry?” “No– but I’ve eaten them already.”
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hahahahahaahhaha Check this out.

    Its very interesting and Educative. If: A B C D E F G H I J K LM N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z Is equal to; 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 Then H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K ; 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11=98% K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E ; 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5=96% L+O+V+E...
    Rosalindaag Rosalindaag 18-21, F 20 Responses Dec 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Italy Vs. Greece

    A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics" The Italian, nodding agreement, says...
    deleted deleted 26-30 35 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel