Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Jokes And Riddles

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 52,496 People

    A beautiful blonde woman runs a red traffic

    light and crashes into a man's car. Both of their cars are demolished, but amazingly, neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says; "Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 5 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A woman is pregnant with triplets.

    One day she goes to a bank as it was being held up. She gets shot three times in her stomach, but luckily she lives. She goes to the doctor when tells her her children will be all right, one day the bullets will come out. So 13 years later, one triplet, a girl, runs out of...
    AlphaStigma77 AlphaStigma77 13-15, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Men Are Never Depressed

    WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED: Men Are Just Happier People -- What do you expect from such simple creatures? Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack... You can be President. You can...
    climber1 climber1 66-70, M 53 Responses Mar 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer

    for a long time, became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So a nice looking young lass,

    upon arriving at a party, spies a Marine Sergeant Major standing off by himself nursing a beer. Feeling patriotic, she walks over and strikes up a conversation. "So what's the worst thing about the Marine Corp?" she asks. "Well Ma'am", he says hesitantly, "it's the sex. There's...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 1 Response 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I asked a pretty, young,

    homeless woman if I could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile. The look on her face soon changed when I walked off with her cardboard box.
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 3 Responses 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Type Of Lover

    John and Jill were about to go into his apartment, and before he could open his door, Jill said, "Wait a minute, I can tell how a man makes love by how he unlocks his door." John says, "Well, give me some examples." Jill proceeds to tell him, "Well, the first way is, if a...
    1petitegreeneyes 1petitegreeneyes 46-50, F 52 Responses Aug 31, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Are My Testicles Black?

    A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth and nose, still heavily sedated from a difficult four hour surgical procedure.A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath. "Nurse", he mumbles, from behind the mask, "Are my...
    Wistina Wistina 22-25, F 36 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Lookin4fun00 Lookin4fun00 13-15, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Walmart Shopper

    After landing my new job as a Walmart greeter, a good find for many retirees, I lasted less than a day ...... About two hours into my first day on the job a very loud, decidedly unattractive, woman walked into the store along with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the...
    deleted deleted 26-30 113 Responses Sep 23, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A former Sergeant in the Marine Corps took a

    new job as a high school teacher. Just before the school year started, he injured his back. He was required to wear a light plaster cast around the upper part of his body. Fortunately, the cast fit under his shirt and wasn't noticeable when he wore his suit coat. On the first...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 6 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Daily Joke 11-1-2006

    Too Many Buttons A gentleman had a serious problem. He made several attempts to enter the men's washrooom, but found it to be occupied. A lady noticed that he was walking strangely, taking small steps, and with a look of pain and anxiety on his face. "Sir," she...
    linda linda 18-21, F 34 Responses Nov 1, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cyber Sex Chat

    Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as "Cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an...
    deleted deleted 26-30 55 Responses May 5, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Little RALPHY was sitting on a park bench

    munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, 'Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat.' Little RALPHY replied, 'My grandfather lived to be 107 years...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How To Lose Weight, For You Guys

    JENNY CRAIG FOR MEN A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign...
    hellimus hellimus 26-30, M 53 Responses Sep 16, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "why Don't You Please Shut Up??"

    "A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir."The driver says, "Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating."The driver's wife is in the passenger seat kitting. Not looking up...
    valobasa4ever valobasa4ever 31-35, F 79 Responses Jan 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    An old lady was getting on the bus to go to the

    pet cemetery with her cat's remains. As she got on the bus, she whispered to the bus driver, "I have a dead p*ssy." The driver pointed to the lady sitting behind him and said, "Sit with my wife, you two have a lot in common."
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Linda's Daily Joke...........men Are Like.......

    Men Are Like... Men are like a deck of cards.... You need a heart to love them A Diamond to marry them A Club to beat them And a spade to bury the bastards
    linda linda 18-21, F 38 Responses Nov 3, 2006

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Best Pick Up Line Ever

    A Scotsman walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman, he gives her a quick glance, then , casually looks at his watch for a moment Now, the woman notices this, and asks him, Is your date running late ? NO he replies i just got this "state of the art" watch...
    ExtremeNext ExtremeNext 26-30, F 70 Responses Jun 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Prisoner Has Escaped!

    A bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?" "OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the...
    BhabeDel BhabeDel 41-45, F 47 Responses Sep 2, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Three couples were married

    and stayed at the same hotel for their honeymoons, where they were all taken care of by Joe the Bellboy. The first man married a nurse. Joe showed them to their room and thought to himself, "What a lucky guy. Nurses are known to be hot to trot". The second man married a...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 5 Responses 10 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    INCOME TAX Abe and Esther are flying to

    Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 50th anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces: “Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news. Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 4 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Man And The Cat

    A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park. As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway. The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away. He put the beast...
    CassiaDream CassiaDream 18-21, F 16 Responses Apr 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This Is Priceless

    I used to be like this... Then I met a girl... She was like this... Together, we were like this... I gave her gifts like this... When she accepted my proposal, I was like this... I used to talk to her all night like this.. And at the office I used to do this... When my friends...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 60 Responses Apr 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Best Aussie Joke Of The Year.

    Sheila,the Aussie housewife got out of the shower and slipped over on the bathroom floor. Instead of slipping over forwards or backwards, she slipped, did the splits and suctioned herself to the floor. She yelled out for her husband Michael. "Michael,Michael " she yelled...
    happinesswinsxx happinesswinsxx 46-50, F 45 Responses Mar 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dear Dogs And Cats:

    The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing...
    bijouxbroussard bijouxbroussard 51-55, F 32 Responses Sep 25, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A police officer pulls a guy over

    for speeding and asked, "May I see your driver's license?" The driver answered, "I don't have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI." The officer asked, "May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?" The driver answered,"It's not my car. I stole it." The officer...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm a literally feminist.

    But i can laugh at this lmao!!!XD
    Juri0902 Juri0902 31-35, F 2 Responses 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    George found Tim, lying beside the road,

    crying. He stopped the car and ran to him. "Tim! Are you all right?" Sobbing, Tim moaned, "Look at my brand-new car!" pointing to it, wrapped around a tree. "Hey, man. Don`t cry. You can always get another car." "But look inside the car." George did and said, "Aw, dude...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 1 Response 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Wax Your Hoo-ha

    All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The Epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. Read on......... My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that...
    DEGBEME DEGBEME 61-65, M 157 Responses Feb 27, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    An old Italian Mafia Don is dying

    and he calls for his grandson to approach the bed. "Lissin a me, I wanna for you to taka my chrome-plated .38-caliber revolver so you will always remember me." The grandson smiles weakly and replies, "But Grandpa, I really dona lika guns. Howz 'bout you leava me you Rolex...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There was once a great actor

    who could no longer remember his lines. After many years he finds a theatre where they are prepared to give him a chance to shine again. The director says, "This is the most important part, and it has only one line. You walk on to the stage at the opening carrying a rose. You...
    openbook15 openbook15 26-30, M 3 Responses 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Never Assume That Men Understand.

    A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure enough, there...
    deleted deleted 26-30 113 Responses Dec 16, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    The Irish Prostitute

    An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her Father cursed her heavily. 'Where have ye been all this time, child? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru...
    deleted deleted 26-30 62 Responses Jan 3, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What does a gynaecologist do

    when he feels sentimental? He looks up an old girlfriend.
    Johndoe10000 Johndoe10000 46-50, M 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Italy Vs. Greece

    A Greek and Italian were arguing over who had the superior culture. The Greek says, "We have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks gave birth to advanced mathematics" The Italian, nodding agreement, says...
    deleted deleted 26-30 35 Responses May 10, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    There's a brunette, red head,

    and blonde in a pickup truck. The brunette is driving, red head in the passenger seat, and blonde in the truck bed. Brunette loses control of the truck and crashes into a river. Brunette is able to open her door and swim to safety. Red head's window was open so she swims to...
    Beijodeabacaxi Beijodeabacaxi 18-21, F 1 Response 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Anger Managment

    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it...
    TheOneyouwerewarnedabout TheOneyouwerewarnedabout 36-40 39 Responses Aug 27, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    “Mother, can I have those apples on the

    sideboard?” “Yes, dear!” “Oh, I am so glad you said yes.” “Why, are you so hungry?” “No– but I’ve eaten them already.”
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A cop was interrogating a very intoxicated

    Irishman, who was also severly bleeding. The officer asked, "Can you describe the person who did this to you?" The Irishman replied, "That's what I was doing when he hit me."
    lovingCuteSmartGirl lovingCuteSmartGirl 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Proudly showing off his newly-leased downtown

    London apartment to a couple of friends late one night after a late night out celebrating the soccer team's cup final game, drunk Dave led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong hanging on the wall. 'What's that big brass gong for?' one of the friends asked...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 1 Response 18 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

     

    Aryg Aryg 36-40, F 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3 people having s.e.x is t.

    hreesome, 2 people having it is twosome...so when somebody call you HANDSOME.., never take it as a compliment..! :p
    AlexGabriel AlexGabriel 22-25, M 2 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Q. Why are married women heavier

    than single women? A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Mature Lady

    A mature lady gets pulled over for speeding... Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma'am, I'm afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don't have one...
    darkice123 darkice123 36-40, M 101 Responses Sep 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A woman was out golfing one day

    when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that...