Post

I Love Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,822 People

    Before And After Marriage - Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three...
    deleted deleted 26-30 6 Responses Oct 1, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Little Johnny was eating breakfast one morning and got to thinking about things. “Mommy, mommy, why has daddy got so few hairs on his head?” he asked his mother. “He thinks...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Apr 7

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A truck driver is driving along on the freeway. A sign comes up that reads “Low Bridge Ahead.” Before he knows it, the bridge is right ahead of him and he gets stuck under it...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    2 kids were deciding what game to play. One said "Lets play doctors and patients" The 2nd kid answered "Ok, you'll be the doctor, I'll sue".
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 5 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Three Little Pigs.... - One day the first grade teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class.   She came to the part of the story where the first pig...
    diablesse34 diablesse34 46-50, F 6 Responses Nov 3, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom? Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom? Little Johnny: But I asked first!
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    An Irishman, a Mexican and a blonde guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said: "Corned beef and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A Rabbi, a Hindu and a lawyer were driving late at night in the country when their car broke down. They set out to find help and came to a farmhouse. When they knocked at the door...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel
    My friends and I have this running joke called "Turbo Tuesday." Tuesday is the most boring goddam day of the week, because it's not Monday where you're fresh off from the weekend...
    BlueMetalChick BlueMetalChick 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Maid - Our neighbor’s Brazilian maid asked for a pay increase. The wife was very upset about this and decided to talk to her about the raise. She asked: 'Now Maria, why do...
    nevernohow nevernohow 51-55, M 1 Response Nov 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    " Dyslexic man walks into a bra''
    smokeyboat2 smokeyboat2 70+, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    An overweight business associate of mine decided it was time to shed some excess pounds. He took his new diet seriously, even changing his driving route to avoid his favorite...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Two husbands were having a conversation, First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!" Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Couple is having a quickie and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: "What are you doing?" Ask the son. Father: "I’m putting petrol in your Mom." Son: " Which means Mom’s...
    Toohottohandle1 Toohottohandle1 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel
    For the Sexless Marriage Group - Ok, now, if you're in a sexless marriage and wonder why, this will give you a clue! LOL Enjoy! Cheleanne   A young monk arrives at the...
    Cheleanne Cheleanne 66-70, F 10 Responses Nov 13, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Animal Jokes Question And Answer Animal Jokes Q: Diner: I can't eat this chicken. Call the manager. A: Waiter: It's no use. He can't eat it either. Q: Which side of a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    LIE - Why Women Lie - One day, when a seamstress was sewing while sitting close to a river, her thimble fell into the river. When she cried out, the Lord appeared and asked, "My...
    HardingP119 HardingP119 36-40, M 4 Responses May 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Electric Fence / Lawn Mower - If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this. The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it...
    Babydoll42 Babydoll42 41-45, F 11 Responses May 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months." Then asked the class, "How should I correct this sentence?" Little Johnny raised his had and replied, "Get...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    One night Little Johnny was really scared sleeping by himself at camp, so he sprints out of his tent and runs to his teachers tent and asks "Miss can I please sleep with you...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Fireman Costume - Man goes to a fancy dress party, wearing only a glass jar on his penis.A woman asks "What are you?"He says "I'm a fireman""But you're only wearing a glass jar...
    CazieM CazieM 26-30, F 5 Responses Aug 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Two Blondes walked into a bar,..... The third on ducked.
    Peter123 Peter123 41-45, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A new employee calls the Help Desk to complain that there's something wrong with her password. No, it's not the usual caps-lock problem. "The problem is that whenever I type the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Teacher : whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window Teacher : who just threw that?! Boy : Me! I’m going home now.
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Two guys are hiking in the forest when they suddenly come across a big Grizzly bear! One guy takes off his hiking boots and puts on some running shoes! His friend says to him...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M 1 Response a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Toy - The father of five children had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one should have the present. “Who is the most obedient?” he asked...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 1, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Do you know what Heck is...? It is where you go when you don't believe in Gosh.
    Peter123 Peter123 41-45, M 1 Response 17 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    The Old Ones Are The Best - A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake and Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at...
    KatarinaVonSweet KatarinaVonSweet 36-40, F 10 Responses Mar 11, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hahahaha - 1)Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and it's still printing. 2) Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven. 3) What do you do...
    princewilliamlol1234 princewilliamlol1234 18-21, M 5 Responses Sep 20, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Pete and Larry had not seen each other in many years. Now they had a long talk trying to fill in the gap of those years by telling about their lives. Finally Pete invited Larry to...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    WHTS BORWN 6 INCHES LONG AND 2 INCHES WIDE AND DRIVES WOMEN CRAZY???? A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL!!!
    sweettazzy sweettazzy 16-17, M 19 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Mar 29

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Hey U Know Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1 U Know Why?? If she accept its your luck otherwise just tell April Foooooll.
    rahatali1212 rahatali1212 18-21, M 1 Response 3 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Three men had a very late night out drinking scotch whiskey. They left in the early morning hours and went home separately. They met for lunch next day, and compared notes about...
    pfloyd121 pfloyd121 46-50, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    ROBOT FOR SALE: A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night. The father asks his son what he did that...
    InfiniteEnd InfiniteEnd 16-17, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Comfortable - Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch. Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble. In order to keep the bank...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Nov 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    An engineer, a physicist, and a lawyer were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. The engineer was interviewed first, and was asked a...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Escaped Convict - Escaped convict A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He...
    pmurillo pmurillo 26-30, F 4 Responses Sep 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    "The internet shows us how small the world is . . . . . . . . but a missing plane shows, how big our planet is.. Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx "There's a big difference...
    esteem29 esteem29 26-30, M 1 Response 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Funny Ultimate Truths: - 1. Whenever i find the Key to Success, someone changes the lock. 2. The road to success is always under Construction 3. In order to get a loan, You first...
    traveller139 traveller139 22-25, M 8 Responses Jan 28, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police. “What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer. “I use them in my juggling act,” says the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel
    During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him. Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together. I was cycling to school. I...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    JackisMe JackisMe 41-45, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Divorce Vs Murder - A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said,"I would like to buy some cyanide...
    wendysosa wendysosa 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 18, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Marriage Counsellor - After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling...
    HardingP119 HardingP119 36-40, M 10 Responses Aug 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    So Little Johnny's teacher is warned at the beginning of the school year not to ever make a bet with Johnny unless she is absolutely sure she will win it. One day in class, Johnny...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, 'Last...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Casey and Riley agreed to settle their dispute by a fight, and it was understood that whoever wanted to quit should say "Enough." Casey got Riley down and was hammering him...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Tummy Trouble - A little boy wakes up during the night and walks into his parents room, and see's his mother bouncing up and down on top of his father.The parents stop and the...
    CazieM CazieM 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 28, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Wikipedia: I know everything! Google: I have everything! Facebook: I know everybody! Internet: Without me you are nothing! Electricity: Keep talking *******!
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence starting with ' I. ' Johnny: I is.. Teacher: No, that's not correct Johnny. You should always say, 'I am.' Johnny: Okay, 'I am the ninth...
    leoP87 leoP87 22-25, M a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel