that sells husbands has just opened in NewYork City, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE !
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as...
I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"'Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may...
and their 6 year old catches them. Son says: "What are you doing?" Ask the son. Father: "I’m putting petrol in your Mom." Son: " Which means Mom’s engine is taking too much petrol cause Mr. Zwane just put some in yesterday!" Mother fainted!!!!
but this one is just hilarious to me:
On the roof of a very tall building are four men; one is Asian, one is Mexican, one is black, and the last one is white. The Asian walks to the ledge and says, "This is for all my people" and jumps off the roof. Next, the Mexican walks to...
A little boy wakes up during the night and walks into his parents room, and see's his mother bouncing up and down on top of his father.The parents stop and the mother quickly dismounts, pulling the covers around herself."What where you and daddy doing ?" the boy asks his mother...
If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this.
The language used is a bit salty, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing.
If you don't laugh hysterically at this, CHECK YOUR PULSE... this is funny... and true. This was sent by a...
Since seven was a child, he has always been a prime number. He excelled at everything he did, but he was kind of odd. Seven was very vengeful and quick to anger. Even though he was popular and well praised, he couldn't stand the sight of six, who was well rounded and has a good...
driver a question. He tapped the driver on the shoulder.
The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped inches from a shop window.
For a second, everything was quiet in the cab. Then the driver said, "Look, mate, don't...
a murderer, a necrophiliac, a zoophiliac and a pyromaniac are all sitting on a bench in a mental institution.
"Let's have sex with a cat?" asked the zoophiliac.
"Let's have sex with the cat and then torture it?" says the sadist.
"Let's have sex with the cat, torture it and then...
" Father: "Why?" Boy: "The teacher asked 'How much is 2×3?' and I said '6'" Father: "But that's right!" Boy: "Then she asked me 'How much is 3×2?'" Father: "What's the ******* difference?" Boy: "That's exactly what I said!"
Boy : No..
Girl: Do you have a BMW car.. ?
Boy : No..
Girl: How much is your salary.. ?
Boy : No salary.. but,..
Girl: No but. You have nothing.. How can i
Boy: (talk to himself) I have one villa, 3
property lands, 3 Ferrari, 2Porsche.. Why I
A man moves into a nudist colony. He receives a letterfrom his grandmother asking him to send her acurrent photo of himself in his new location.Too embarrassed to let her know that he lives in aNudist colony, he cuts a photo in half and mails it.The next day he discovers that he...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her...
that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on...
deep coma. 6 months later, she awakes and asks the doctor about her baby.
Doctor: You had twins, a boy and a girl and they're both fine. Luckily, your brother named them for you.
Woman: Oh no, not my brother! He's an idiot! What did he name the girl?
so pleased that he asked to speak to the chef. The owner proudly led him into the kitchen and introduced him to the chef.
"Your veal parmigiana was superb," the customer said. "I just spent a month in Italy, and yours is better than any I ever had over there."
His doctor asks him what he remembers.
- All i remember is getting on an elevator with a gorgeous woman and her husband. She had a beautiful cleavage and i couldn't stop staring at it. She then looked at me and told me "Can you please press one?".
and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. The Pharmacist asks, "What size?"
to which the man replies, "I'm not exactly sure." The pharmacist grabs something from under the counter and hands it to the man, "Well, take this board with holes, go to the bathroom and the hole...
A balding, white haired man from Chebacco Lake and Florida, walked into a jewelry store this past Friday evening with a beautiful much younger gal at his side. He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend. The jeweler looked through his stock and...
awake at night wondering why baby diapers have
Brand names such as 'luvs, huggies, and pampers, while undergarments for old people are called Depends.
Well here is the low down on the whole thing.
When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and...
After having great sex, she spent the next hour just rubbing his balls. Something she just loved to do.
As he was enjoying it, he turned to her and ask her: "why do you love doing that?" because... She replied.." I really miss mine." Hahahaha !!!
the camp fire and his son, looking up at the sky, says to his Dad, "Dad,what keep the earth from falling ". His Dad says, Son, A great turtle hold the world up". His son thinks a moment and says,"But what keeps that turtle up". And his father says,"He stands on the back of an...
After just a few years of marriage, filled with constant arguments, a young man and his wife decided the only way to save their marriage was to try counseling. They had been at each others throat for some time and felt that this was their last straw. When they arrived at the...
For the sake of civility,and to keep it from getting sunburn he put his hat over his privates.
As a woman walked past she said to the man snickering " if you were a gentleman. You'd lift your hat"
The man raised an eyebrow and calmly replied " if you weren't so ugly it would...
Ok, now, if you're in a sexless marriage and wonder why, this will give you a clue! LOL
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed, "Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in...
The wife had a bad dream, she woke up scared and cried.
Her husband comforted her and asked why she cried, she replied: “I had a dream that a very rich and handsome man kidnapped me from you.”
Husband: “It is ok honey, it was just a dream.”
the night, she suddenly shouts: "Get up quickly my husband is here!"
The man gets up from the bed, jumps out the window, hurts himself and then realizes "Damn, I am the husband!"
Who's guilty in this situation?????😳😁
when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment.
Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a...
I hate to interrupt, but you've captured my eye. Could I have it back? It's the only one I've got, to fall in love with you at first sight.
Hey, Baby, did you know they call me "PumpkinHead"?
I’ve got a rubber mask and you’ve got the candy- let’s go trick or treating...
when an elegantly dressed woman spilled Manhattan clam chowder all over her white linen skirt. She began furiously dabbing at it with a napkin.
Having plenty of experience with getting out feed stains, I asked, "Can I bring you some club soda?"
"Young lady," she barked, "I...
1. Whenever i find the Key to Success, someone changes the lock.
2. The road to success is always under Construction
3. In order to get a loan, You first need to Prove that you don't need it
4. All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or Married ;)
and reports to the Pearly Gates. Saint Peter checks his dossier and, not seeing his name there, accidentally sends him to Hell.
It doesn't take long before the engineer becomes rather dissatisfied with the level of comfort in Hell. He soon begins to design and build...
Halloween dressed as a pirate. He rang a house's doorbell and the door was opened by a lady. "Oh, how cute! A little pirate! And where are your buccaneers?" she asked. The boy replied, "Under my buckin' hat."
.it was a beautiful day as I wandered down the street, I spotted a beautiful looking woman opposite...She looked straight into my eyes and I longingly looked into hers....Something truly electric passed between us!
It was a bloody Toyota Prius!!!
surprised when he saw a dog coming inside the shop. He kicks it away. But later, the dog is back again. So, he goes over to the dog and notices he has a note in his mouth.
He takes the note and it reads, "Can I have 12 sausages and a leg of lamb, please. I have money in my...