I Love Oneliners

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 23 People

    When people say something about your 'ugly

    face', just laugh at them - after all, they're the ones that have to look at it! It's not bothering you!
    PhilosophyShit PhilosophyShit
    18-21, M
    Feb 9, 2015

    Do you take karate? (No.

    Why?) because Jean Claude Van Damme you look good.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Sep 24, 2014

    If you must choose between two evils,

    pick the one you've never tried before.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Aug 13, 2014
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 2, 2014

    Cheating is not an accident.

    Falling off a bike is an accident... You don't just trip and fall into a vagina.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Jun 14, 2014

    Apart from being sexy,

    what do you do for a living?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Sep 23, 2014

    Memory Upgrading

    Someone asked What's you favorite oneliner a couple of days ago and I got into thinking about mine. I love jokes and I use up most of my memory to remember them. (History dates? Who needs them? LOL. Good thing I'm not a history teacher.) But oneliner is somehow difficult...
    june1999 june1999
    31-35, F
    10 Responses Oct 13, 2009

    Hey baby, I'll **** you

    so well the NEIGHBORS will be having a cigarette when we're done.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Apr 29, 2015

    Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face

    and I guess how much you weigh.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 22, 2014

    Damn, if being sexy was a crime,

    you'd be guilty as charged!
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Sep 23, 2014

    You'll see me differently in the morning,

    after I've ****** some sense into you. Yeah, that's great one-liner, *******.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 27, 2014

    Here R Some Of My Fav..

    this one s from batman-dark knight... "Its not who you are. but its wat you do that defines you" "as a man i am just flesh and blood, i can be destroyed, but as a symbol im incorruptable and everlasting" "you either die a hero or live long enough to...
    kc47 kc47
    18-21, M
    1 Response Nov 8, 2009

    I've had quite a bit to drink,

    and you're beginning to look pretty good.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Sep 24, 2014
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 14, 2014

    I know I’m not no Fred Flintstone,

    but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 2, 2014

    My friend and I have a bet

    that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 23, 2014

    If you ever google “Gary Oldman”

    for ***** sake don’t forget the “R”
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jun 14, 2014

    Nice one. Nice shoes,

    want to ****?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    May 3, 2015

    I know milk it does a body good,

    but DAMN how much have you been drinking?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Oct 9, 2015

    You must be Jamaican,

    because Jamaican me crazy.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Jul 27, 2014

    Do you take karate? (No.

    Why?) because Jean Claude Van Damme you look good.
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    Sep 24, 2014

    My friends over there said

    that I wouldn't be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with some of their money?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 23, 2014

    If I give you a piece of my sandwich,

    can i stand next to you in hopes that people might think we're together?
    SailorsAngel SailorsAngel
    41-45, F
    1 Response Sep 23, 2014
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