I Love Overheardinnewyork

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 4 People

    OMG! This Is Awesome.

    Now Help Me Apply Direct Pressure before I Bleed Out Wife, playing Uno: Skip, skip, skip, skip, wild card, draw four, blue, draw two, uno, I win. Husband: Wow. I'm bleeding. Wife: I hope it's from the ***, because that's where I just raped you. Husband: God...
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    26-30
    Dec 4, 2007

    SUSHI

    Living in Illinois Can't Help Matters Woman #1: Oh my god, they are closed, too! Woman #2: What the hell?! Woman #1: We are in a sushi crisis! Woodfield Mall Schaumburg, Illinois
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Feb 25, 2008

    Current Fave

    Or Simply Take His Hand Out of My Pants? Guy forcing way through crowded dance floor: Excuse me, you ****-ing beautiful bi'tch. Girl, stepping aside, then suddenly turning to friend: Should I be offended? Privilege Los Angeles, California Overheard...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Oct 25, 2007

    They Are Just Funny Today

    Thug: Yo, the meat at this place is fresh, son. They got, like, a cow out back, and they be cuttin' it. The cow be like, 'Mooo-owww! Mooo-owww!' Crazy fresh meat, yo. Crazy.
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    26-30
    Jan 3, 2008

    Ho Ho Ho

    And Put Some Underpants on, Wouldya? Santa: Remember, you have to be very good so I can bring you lots of presents. Little girl: I have been! I have been! Santa: I came by your house the other day. Did you know that? Little girl: Really?! Wow! Santa: I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Dec 28, 2007

    Turkish Man

    And the Nightmare Turkish man: Miss, you are so lovely. Can I buy you a drink? Girl: Uh, sure. Turkish man: You are so beautiful, I would suck on your father's **** just to taste where you came from. Girl: Uh... Thanks for the drink [leaves]. --Crash Mansion, 199 Bowery...
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    26-30
    1 Response Nov 20, 2007

    Beaver

    And Leave Wet Spots Wherever They Go Male professor: Yes, Miss...? Uh... Hot chick, raising hand: Beaver. Professor: Beaver? How come I don't remember that being your last name? You don't look like a 'Beaver.' Maybe if you were wet... [Entire class goes silent...
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    26-30
    Dec 18, 2007

    Boy George

    Because Their Fangs Leave Behind Swollen, Itchy Spots, Too? Boy George: I'm very uncomfortable with the idea of vaginas. They bother me in the way that spiders bother some people. __________ omg, hahahaha!
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    26-30
    Jan 3, 2008

    Zipper

    I wish I would have said this. Now, I'm a chunky girl too but this is the funniest thing I've heard all week: Black guy, about fat black girl: Damn, I know Anissa's jacket be hurtin'! That zipper be like [in falsetto], 'Heeelp! Let me down! Let me dooown!'
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Jan 3, 2008
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