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I Love Someone I Shouldn't

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 757 People

    Open letter to my crush First things first:

    you have kids, and I respect that. I agree with your desire to be a decent dad for them. I wouldn't have you any other way. Your basic decency and good treatment of other people in general is one of the things I love about you. So, it might be years before you're really "free...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F Feb 23

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    He's depressed and not saying much.

    I've said as much as I dare to say. I'd love to comfort away his pain - but he has to let me. I won't chase him.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Mar 20

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    I have reason to believe he has a real,

    recurring problem - the way he goes trough periods of depression and seems to shrink away from life. If only I could hold him close IRL! I want to comfort him.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 2

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    I Think I'm Falling For Someone I Shouldn't...

    I'm somewhat happily married... my husband and I married rather quickly after I left an abusive relationship. He feels so safe to me, in my mind he saved me from my ex-husband. It's so comfortable to me to feel taken care of, but I miss the passion. A month after I got married...
    jezebel8 jezebel8 31-35, F 3 Responses Nov 5, 2013

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    I miss him so much I can't stand it.

    I love him becauseI of the way he smiles. And the way he brightens my day when he talk to me. How comfortable he makes me feel even when I'm super awkward. The way he doesn't care about what ****** up things I've done or happened to me in the past. The way he smells so freaking...
    kaylaes52 kaylaes52 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    Didn't talk today - but

    if what I suspect is true there's a good reason. Good talk last night.... I want a kiss. (smile)
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 22

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    Cake Or Eat It?

    It's been weeks of no contact with my mistress and I'm hurting so bad on the inside. After having multiple affairs over the last few years, I wound up with a single woman 10yrs my junior that was everything I ever fantasies about. I never had any idea I could fall this way for...
    Surferdude7 Surferdude7 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 4, 2012

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    I am in love with my best friend.

    It's impossible to happen. Especially because we fight a lot just being friends. I wish someone would understand
    Britt199b Britt199b 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    I just cannot believe I did this to myself.

    I am in love, absolute 100% madly in love with my boyfriends of years now. BUT recently I started a new job, and I am falling for my co-worker. It was just a little crush and whatever I would get passed it. But its becoming more than that and I can't stop it. The worst part is I...
    NaiYoMie3 NaiYoMie3 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 30

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    When he flirts with other women,

    I feel a bit jealous and hurt. So far I've always gotten beyond that. And my reaction is to flirt with some other men! But I think I'm getting more attached than I was. If only we could meet IRL and see what that's like. I think it's time. But I'd like it to be his idea. I don...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response May 14

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    Yes, I still do. But I meant what I said - I am

    not going to let that fact ruin my life. I'm not going to make major life decisions based on him unless I start getting a lot more back. He needs to make some effort and spend some time on me.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 14 hrs ago

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    We're both in sexless marriages.

    Today my H said something that really hurt me. I'm not happy. My H isn't happy. The man I want isn't happy. I bet his W isn't happy, either. How can anybody say that this is the way life is supposed to be ? I'm beginning to hope I die soon. I don't think I can stand another 4...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 4 Responses Jul 6

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    I could fall in love with this man.

    The more I get to know him, the better I like him. We are so well-matched. I want so much to meet him offline.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 2 Responses May 28

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    Volens-

    I wish I didn't notice how your face lit up when you were translating a latin word I wish I didn't read my old notebooks just to read your jokes that I'd written down (I always laughed too loud too long) I wish I didn't know you had kids- two in fact (six and...
    waiting8 waiting8 18-21, F 1 Response May 11, 2012

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    I want him, I miss him.

    If only we could have more time together. It's so hard to be crazy about a man when you can't have much contact.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 24

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    M

    Although started as an innocent way to explore my sexuality. Has now become a very important part of my life. This man has become more than just my online lover. I adore him. I look forward to his phone calls. Texts, emails. Howeve, he chooses to reach me. I shouldn't feel this...
    deleted deleted 26-30 27 Responses Sep 27, 2012

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    I still want him. Incredibly -

    after all this time. After he has been through a pattern of encouraging me, then disappearing, at least 3 times in the past year. After two failed attempts to meet. I still want him - but I will not let that fact ruin my life. I will not make major life decisions based on him...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    I Should Have Walked Away... (Forbidden Is Forbidden For Good Reason)

    The moment an ounce of care seeped into our words. Those first 3 days were great. I guess that's where we planted the first of a million hooks into one another. We hardly knew each other but the chemistry exploded. That must have been the first hook... Because by our mannerisms...
    LovingLaughs94 LovingLaughs94 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 7, 2013

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    He Was The One

    Everyone has that person in their past who was The One That Got Away. Mine recently reappeared in my life and I am still reeling from it. PB and I dated for 3 years off and on in the early 90's. He was charming, witty, charismatic and extremely intelligent. We had the most mind...
    VogonPoetry VogonPoetry 31-35, F 12 Responses Oct 13, 2012

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    Another quick exchange yesterday.

    At least it was sweet.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 17

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    This is the man I have a crush on - like I said,

    "love" might be putting it a bit strongly. But there's no group called "I'm Not In Love But I Could Love This Person." He finally resurfaced and we had a really good talk. No, we haven't made any plans to do anything. We talked about feelings and painful things that have...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F Apr 20

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    He goes through phases - I've seen it

    before - where he doesn't talk much to *anybody*. It's like a cycle. And right now we might be in the quiet part of the cycle.I know he battles depression. I have had this problem myself. If only he felt able to let me in and be close to me at these times. I DO understand. I...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 26

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    And - the talk today was better.

    I think my whole problem is that I'm ready to meet him IRL, and it hasn't happened yet. So under those circumstances, any little thing that doesn't feel quite right seems magnified. Damn - I miss him when we haven't talked in a while - and I am *so* ready to put my arms around...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 3 Responses Jun 16

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    I've never told anyone close to me.

    He'll never be mine but I wish he could just know. He needs to know he's the only person I've ever felt any sort of connection to. I would never want to break up his marriage I just can't seem to move past him. The way he makes me feel and the way he talks to me makes me feel...
    deziduda123 deziduda123 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 25

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    Married With Crush On Coworker

    I am falling hard for a coworker but I’m married with two children. I can’t say that I love my wife and I’m not sure I did when I married her. Marrying her just felt like the comfortable thing to do. We had been together for so long, since we were teenagers. If we didn...
    serendipity1998 serendipity1998 31-35, M 7 Responses Oct 3, 2012

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    This is what I would like to ask God: Why

    can't I, just ONE damn time in my life, have the man I want? Not the nice guy that I date for awhile because he's the best of a bad lot. Not the kind guy who comforts me when I'm still hurting from someone else. Not the guy who has every item on some imaginary checklist, but...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 29

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    I wish I didn't love him

    but I do. He's in love with someone else but he still says he loves me. I don't really know what to do anymore. It's exhausting loving him and knowing he at least has some feelings for me but he feels guilty acting on those feelings. We also did some naughty things but he just...
    kaylaes52 kaylaes52 18-21, F Jun 25

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    I smile when I imagine the first time we meet

    IRL....I think of your smile, the sparkle in your eyes...the way your arms feel around me for the first hug....your mouth on mine for the first kiss...the solidity and strength of your male body...the way you might smell...your hands caressing my curves. I dream about this day...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 1

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    I'm so crazy about him it's not

    even funny. He sends me a one-line PM and I'm ecstatic. He adds a woman to his circle and I'm worried that he's losing interest in me. If only the roller coaster could stop and we could do something for real. If I could just have a fair chance.... I have a lot to offer a man...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 5 days ago

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    I Don't Want to Love Him Anymore

    He isn't mine, he was for such a long time and in my mind of mind's he is. I have not felt that feeling of pure happiness since we went out separate ways. I shouldn't love him because he's is someone elses. We've hurt her in the past and I would never ever want to do it again...
    lulubelle12345 lulubelle12345 21-25, F 8 Responses Feb 6, 2007

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    This is what I would like to ask God: Why

    can't I, just ONE damn time in my life, have the man I want? Not the nice guy that I date for awhile because he's the best of a bad lot. Not the kind guy who comforts me when I'm still hurting from someone else. Not the guy who has every item on some imaginary checklist, but...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    Why Do I Love Her?

    There are so many things that aren't right with my secret obsession. My crush, the person I love so much, it kills me to be away from her. First off, it's a she, I'm a she. We're both girls. Secondly, she is my big sister. Even though I am adopted, and have no blood relation, we...
    Emolia Emolia 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 15, 2012

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    I've known this guy since I was 12 years old,

    he was my first kiss, and my first love. We've always had this crazy chemistry, but the timing for is was just never right. He's been my one closest truest friend, and I know I will love him no matter what. The problem is he just recently got engaged, just as he moved back to...
    mmgirl22 mmgirl22 18-21, F Feb 23

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    We talk more often now - this warms my heart.

    Like I said before, I am discovering reserves of patience and consideration that I didn't know I was capable of. Things may not move as fast as I'd like. Worst case scenario, things might not move any further at all. That wouldn't be the end of the world - but it would be a loss...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    I could really love this man.

    I'm still trying to guard my heart. I want us to kiss deeply...caress and stroke each other....lay close together in each other's arms. I want to smell his hair, taste his mouth, feel his hands on my body. I want this man so very , very much.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 3 Responses May 26

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    I'm learning that I have more patience

    than I ever would have imagined. I want to see him and touch him. I want to hear from him more often, have longer conversations. I really got spoiled a couple of weeks ago. But - I know what his life is like. It's quite full. If he doesn't have much time - that isn't because I...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    Someone Else's Husband

     You can't always control who you fall in love with. If I could control who I fell for I would definitely not have chosen to fall in love with someone's else's husband. It just happened. He was just so easy to love. We met here on ep. We were both trapped in troubled marriages...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 6 Responses May 2, 2013

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    Harsh Realities

    There's no hiding from the truth tonigh. It's cold outside...it's rainy....loneliness my only companion....so I've plenty of time to think, to be honest about all the things I prefer to hide from or fool myself into thinking in the light of day. Solitude has a way of bringing...
    LadyBronte LadyBronte 46-50, F 5 Responses Nov 9, 2011

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    UPDATE Well, things are more like they should

    be. I know it would be silly to expect him never to talk to other people. I think if we could meet in person, I wouldn't get as sad when I see him flirting. (And maybe would flirt less myself .) Today, he was saying all the right things about how he'd like to see me. But I'm...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 14

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    Two steps forward, one step back I'm gone

    for one friggin' day for medical reasons - and while I'm out of action, he flirts outrageously. I know I'm really not allowed to complain. I knew he was a big flirt all along. I'm not his official girlfriend, with a right to object. And, my way of handling it is to flirt...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 13

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    Still interested....there is a door in my heart

    with his name on it, if he should choose to knock.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 7 Responses Mar 9

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    First meeting - called off.

    I'm disappointed, but I understand his reasons. We had a really good talk though - so there is that. But I miss him. I want so much to meet him IRL.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response May 22

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    There is a man with whom I became friends

    nearly a year ago. At first, he was all over me (metaphorically) - he had a pretty big crush, but I was sure it would be temporary. I figured he was out of my league - he's attractive, intelligent, funny and popular. He persisted (on and off) - and finally, I succumbed. He...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F Feb 10

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    Had a great day!!! sometimes I feel like I

    should be with the guy I just hung out with. We are so alike. But I'm in love with his best friend. :-/
    Lucietabell124 Lucietabell124 18-21, F Jul 1

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    This Might Be Wrong

    When I was 10 years old I was not into having crushes and boyfriends. One day I was at the park with my family and friends having a bbq. When my mom's friend calls her son on the phone and tells him to come to the park. I was helping my friend build a paper doll house when all of...
    Kinn23 Kinn23 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 6, 2013

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    Talked with him briefly today -

    but not the really sexy, romantic way. I miss that. I hope we can have it again soon.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F Jul 15

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    One word today? That's it?

    You said yourself we would be a good match. Don't disappear on me! That's not fair to either of us. We're too good for each other not to give it a real try.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 2 Responses May 29

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    When I come back here at night to report on

    things, I feel like a knight keeping vigil.
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 2 Responses Jun 25

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    I miss him when I haven't heard in a while.

    I want to kiss him, be in his arms, hear his voice, inhale his scent. Why did the most attractive man on the planet have to come with this set of circumstances ? (Neither of us is free, and we live about 2.5 hours apart.) So close and yet so far. Will this ever come true?
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    Distance And Time

    I am in love with someone I shouldn't love and have been for over 10 years. This is kind of a big deal because I am only 27.In January of 2002 I was placed in a higher math class with the idea of getting into a good college. I was a junior. There was a boy. A dark and mysterious...
    sroverturf sroverturf 26-30 1 Response May 25, 2012

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    And when I heard from him a few days ago,

    and we had a really good talk, I swear I could feel my heart singing. And I've been happy ever since. (G) It might not happen right away, but now I feel more like it *will* happen, someday...
    TheTruthIfItKillsMe TheTruthIfItKillsMe 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    Related Experiences

    Yes, I know I shouldn't miss her the way I do now but part of me wants to make myself thinking about her. Her crooked smile, the taunting confidence on her face, her pointy nose...
    happyquest happyquest 22-25, F 18 hrs ago

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    I can't help feeling like I let true love slip away. I have a boyfriend, but about a year ago someone else come into my life and he turned it upside down. He started working with...
    laurennhem laurennhem 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 1

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