All those who believe in telekinesis, raise my hand.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
Everyone has photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet...
I saw a commercial as a kid with Smokey the bear. "Only you can prevent forest fires". Only me?! I was up all night with a bucket of water, looking for forest fires.
You know how they say, "put the pedal to the metal?" Well I cut a little hole...
I love this guy's comedy!
Here are some quotes of his I like in particular:
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.
Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?
Everywhere is within walking...