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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 202 People

    A Definition Of Irony

    Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke # 10

    Why did Bob fall off the bike? Because Bob was an orange!
    ClearPier ClearPier 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    How Can You Drop An Egg

    4 feet and have is survive? Leave it in the chicken.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    Stupid Joke #9

    How do you catch a squirrel?   You climb into a tree and act like a nut.   <hee hee>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    Two Monocles

    Two monocles got married, They made a spectacle of themselves.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    What did the stuttering bible salesman say to a

    prospective buyer? Answer; in a prolonged stutter " Would you like to buy a bible" followed by a no-stuttering " or would ya like me to read it to ya?"
    kcajoh kcajoh 22-25, F 2 Responses Aug 20

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    Stupid Joke #4

    Why do lions always eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook!  (Rimshot!)
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Silly But Funny

    I'm writing this slowly, Because i know you cant read very fast. I was going to send you some money, But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it. Your sister had a baby, dont know what it is yet, So I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2012

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    FindingTheRealMe FindingTheRealMe 16-17, F Aug 18

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    WhatTheFrenchToast WhatTheFrenchToast 18-21, M Aug 19

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    Stupid Joke #7

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?   A:  Because they have big fingers.   EEEWWWWW!!!!  <LOL>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #14

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses May 31, 2008

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 13-15, F 4 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M May 24, 2008

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    Me: Who ever wondered

    why chocolate chips melt in your hand not the oven? You: Me! Me: Me too LOL
    iamnoor iamnoor 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    How about this one: Sylvester the Cat recently

    died of an untweetabe canary-ial disease.
    kcajoh kcajoh 22-25, F Aug 20

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    Stupid Jokes

    Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 28, 2012

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    What did the duck say

    when she laid a square egg? "Ouch"
    rickie53 rickie53 41-45, M Jan 20

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    Stupid Joke #3

    Sally opened her refrigerator and found a rabbit inside. Surprised, she asked the rabbit, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?" "Isn't this a Westinghouse?" the rabbit asked. "Yes, it is," Sally answered. "Well, I'm westing,"...
    XW XW 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    I feel like I'm the only one

    that will laugh at the worst joke ever! Haha
    FindingTheRealMe FindingTheRealMe 16-17, F 1 Response Aug 18

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    Stupid Joke, #13

    Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid......   :-) A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. · 'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' · 'Not yet,' she replied.    
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses May 29, 2008

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    Chinese

    "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son. "What is it dad?" He asked. "You were adopted," I murmured. "That's impossible!" He exclaimed, "We look the same." "Well," I replied, "That's because we are ******* Chinese."
    derekdob derekdob 56-60, M Nov 14, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    One day a guy decided to kill home self.

    Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the checkout counter the librarian said he could not check that book out. She say once you read it your likely to not bring it back.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Irish Wife

    Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry. his wife says "Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #5

    Knock, knock Who’s there? Adolf...Adolf who? (are you ready for it???) ... Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    How did Alfred Nobel leave the room?

    He just blew outta there saying he couldn't pull himself together.
    kcajoh kcajoh 22-25, F 4 days ago

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Related Experiences

    apparently Neil Armstrong used to tell unfunny jokes about the moon, and follow them up by saying "ah, i guess you had to be there" -badum tss
    mike8989 mike8989 22-25, M Jul 28

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    I love joking around with my friends, it's nothing serious. If you can't take a joke, than we can't be friends.
    becuuh becuuh 16-17, F Aug 4

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    a **** has a sad life his hair is a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor is an *******, his best friend is a *****, his owner beats him and whenever he gets excited he throws up
    mike8989 mike8989 22-25, M Jul 31

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    Bad Boomerang Q: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A: A stick.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 28

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    Q: What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? A: Slap her on the *** and tell her to get back to work.
    petergriffin61 petergriffin61 18-21, M Jul 30

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    The Psychiatric Hotline "Hello, welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline." If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly. If you are co-dependent, please ask someone...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 26-30, F Jul 31

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    The prime minister of India was at the White House. One embarrassing moment was when President Bush said to the prime minister, 'Could you take a look at my computer?' 'I'm having...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 1

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    Q: Why couldn’t the sesame seed leave the gambling casino? A: Because he was on a roll.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 3

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    What do you call a girl with no eyes? A grl.
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F Aug 4

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    Where do you find perverted fish? Swimming around outside of schools
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 4

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    World news update: Hungary has threatened to nuke Turkey and Chile, because it's Hungary.
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 4

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    A man walked into a restaurant and ordered a hamburger. The cook made the hamburger by putting the beef on the grill, pulling down his pants, sitting on the ground beef to make it...
    LivvieDestroyerofSocks LivvieDestroyerofSocks 18-21, F Aug 5

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    Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being STALKED.
    joshuaferns joshuaferns 13-15, M 1 Response Aug 5

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    A man was seated next to a blonde on an airplane. Shortly after the take off, he turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a...
    IM5688 IM5688 56-60, M Aug 6

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    Q . How do you make fruit punch Wait for it ...... A. You give it boxing lessons
    Strange143 Strange143 16-17, F 1 Response