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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 5,640 People

    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 5 Responses Feb 18

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    Careid Careid 26-30, M 2 Responses Feb 8

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    Women say childbirth is the most painful thing.

    .. Obviously they have never stepped on a Lego.
    OneWithTheSkies OneWithTheSkies 18-21, F 2 Responses Feb 17

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    What to say she you don't know

    why baby is mad. "Happy valenbirthaversery"
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    ignescent14dzej ignescent14dzej 13-15, F 4 Responses Feb 9

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    So... What do you call artificial pasta?

    .... An IMPASTA! AHAHAHAHAH *drum*
    marebare303 marebare303 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    How do Africans get away from elephants RUN!

    Why are pigmies so short? They are the really slow Africans
    busbobby232 busbobby232 51-55, M 1 Response Mar 17

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    I was in church and the preast was giving a

    sermon about alcohol how bad it is for you .and to prove it he put a worm in a glass of water and one in to a glass of whiskey after a while he held up the two glasses and said look the worm in the water is still alive and the worm in the whiskey is dead what dose that prove...
    robo57 robo57 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    Talking to someone I know about "*****" (no

    hate their word of choice not mine) and they asked if they were "volunteer prostitutes"! I said, "volunteer prostitute?! 😂 What do lawyers call working for free? Pro BONE-o" I'm rolling on the floor laughing!
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    A little old lady is on a bus,

    buying a ticket from the bus conductor. She fumbles in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and...
    Charmer3 Charmer3 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 13

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    One day a chicken came into the library

    and went "book". The librarian gives the chicken a book, the chicken sticks it under its wing and leaves. The next day, the chicken returns and goes "book-book-book". The librarian gives the chicken 3 books, the chicken sticks it under its wings again and leaves. The day after...
    Gentle153 Gentle153 26-30, M Dec 15, 2014

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    cnk2015 cnk2015 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    There's three houses.

    .. The blue house, the red house, and the white house. The blue man lives in the blue house The red man lives in the red house So who lives in the White House?
    imaqi imaqi 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 11

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    kernalzuggy kernalzuggy 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20, 2014

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    This suit really suit you.

    who gets me!!XD
    Juri0902 Juri0902 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    busbobby232 busbobby232 51-55, M Mar 17

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    I went to the bar tonight

    and ended up piercing a girl's nipple for her. I'm really bad at darts.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    A rich Arab walks into a bar

    and is about to order a drink, when he sees a guy close by wearing a Jewish cap, a prayer shawl and traditional locks of hair. He doesn't have to be Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish. So, he shouts over to the bartender loudly so that everyone can hear, “Drinks for...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I swear! I pee my pants every time I watch

    Impractical Jokers... That show will never get old
    JJjones0 JJjones0 18-21, F 3 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    Why is 6 afraid of 7?

    ??? Because 7 8 9 !!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 3 Responses Feb 8

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    Santa Claus is the only person

    who can get away after calling a girl a "ho."
    choeysmalls choeysmalls 31-35, M Feb 16

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    A gay horse galloped into a bar

    and asked, "which one of you cowboy is going to ride me today?"
    choeysmalls choeysmalls 31-35, M 1 Response Feb 8

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    This is my joke I made up

    when I was 6. What do you call someone who eats too many cookies? A PIG Newton
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 9

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    missreeedy missreeedy 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 8

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    Just for laugh!! This is a solution my gf had

    helped me.. When i asked, why does my google+ keep hanging... Hahahaha
    envymyself envymyself 31-35, F Feb 19

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    A feminist joke: why does a woman need a man?

    ??? Cause a vibrator cannot cut the grass
    VeniceTheMenice VeniceTheMenice 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Whenever you're feeling sad,

    remember: somewhere some idiot is trying to push a door that's says pull.
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 19

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response May 24, 2008

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    Pic..................

    ....!!!!!!!!!! Huh?
    VeniceTheMenice VeniceTheMenice 31-35, F 7 hrs ago

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    Going to to McDonald's

    for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
    JackH19 JackH19 18-21, M Jan 26

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    Kid joke alert: What did the complementary

    biscuit say to the tea? You're lovely
    Sconstan Sconstan 26-30, F Jan 13

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    I'd love to go down this year.

    If you know what I mean. Hehe.
    SandeshRawat SandeshRawat 22-25, M Feb 21

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    avgjoe71 avgjoe71 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 5

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    Some guy at the bar turns to his friend

    and says: you are getting really fat!! His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
    wannahelpyou81 wannahelpyou81 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    My friend told me this joke was the only one

    laughing lol Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!
    brenda4696 brenda4696 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    Cannon31 Cannon31 31-35, M Dec 30, 2014

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    D.A.D.D. (Dad's Against Daughters

    Dating): Shoot the first one, word will spread.
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 2

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    ??Tortoise and a Rabbit?

    ?wrote an entrance exam, ?? ??Tortoise got 80%, ??Rabbit got 81%. Both went for ??admission to an engineering college, Cut-off needed was 85%. ???? ??Rabbit didn't get admission, but the Tortoise got admission. ?? How? ??U remember when we were young, the tortoise won a...
    priyadharshan0 priyadharshan0 13-15, M Jan 20

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    Man all sweatin' and nervous pulls his ski

    mask down on his face ( with the eye holes in the back ! ) Bursts into the bank and yells to the top of his voice .... All right you mother stickers!! This is a **** up!!!
    wolffive wolffive 51-55, M 6 Responses Feb 22

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    I hate country music.

    ... Everytime they say "hoe down" I think my sister got shot!
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F Feb 9

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    What did the farmer say

    when he lost his tractor?
    chickobaby16 chickobaby16 16-17, F 2 Responses Mar 8

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    this is stupid xD Little April was not the

    best student in Sunday school. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, "Tell me, April, who created the universe?" When April didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in...
    silentkillxc silentkillxc 18-21, F 7 Responses Mar 1

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