Stupid Joke #1 - I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker.
A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar,
The bartender looks up and says,
Stupid Joke #11 - What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound.
And deer nuts are under a buck
What concert only cost 45 cents?
50 cents featuring Nickelback
One day a guy decided to kill home self. Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the...
Okay It's a Bit Rubbish..... - Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
She couldn't control her pupils.
Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
Stupid Jokes - Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
One day mom was cleaning her son's room and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her.
She hid the magazine until his father got home and...
Stupid Joke #15 - One more lame joke!
Nurse: Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.
Doctor: Tell him that I...
Irish Wife - Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry.
his wife says
"Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
Stupid Joke # 10 - Why did Bob fall off the bike?
Because Bob was an orange!
Chinese - "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son.
"What is it dad?" He asked.
"You were adopted," I murmured.
"That's impossible!" He...
Stupid Joke #6 - A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!"
The horse says, "Sure!"
They just get worse!
A Definition Of Irony - Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
So - So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
How many tickles does it take to get an octopus to laugh?
Stupid Joke #3 - Sally opened her refrigerator and found a rabbit inside.
Surprised, she asked the rabbit, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?"
Silly But Funny - I'm writing this slowly,
Because i know you cant read very fast.
I was going to send you some money,
But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it...
Stupid Joke #14 - A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named...
Stupid Joke #7 - Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers.
Stupid Joke #12 - Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!
Stupid Joke #5 - Knock, knock
(are you ready for it???)
Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way
Stupid Joke, #13 - Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid...... :-)
A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath.
· 'Mum', he...
Stupid Joke #4 - Why do lions always eat raw meat?
Because they don't know how to cook! (Rimshot!)
Stupid Joke #2 - Okay, I'll jump in on this one... here goes:
How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it?
...are you ready for the answer...
Two Monocles - Two monocles got married,
They made a spectacle of themselves.
Stupid Joke #9 - How do you catch a squirrel?
You climb into a tree and act like a nut.
Once there was a Chicken who went into a library and said: "Book Book" and the Librarian gave the Chicken some books. Then the Chicken returned and again said: "Book Book" and once...
Tell me what horses say, pleassse
A blonde was on her front lawn in a row boat rowing away when another blonde woman saw her , stopped her car , got out and yelled...
"It's blondes like you that gives blondes like...
A blonde met her retiring mail man at the door nude Took him inside and ****** his brains out. When he was leaving she handed him a dollar bill. The baffled mail man asked her...
A blonde is watching the news with her husband when the newscaster says, "Six Brazilian men die in a skydiving accident." The blonde starts crying to her husband, sobbing, "That's...
Q: Is there a difference between the sound of a clarinet and a cat in heat?
A: Of course, but only if the cat is in good health.
Q: Why do loud, obnoxious whistles exist at some factories?
A: To give us some sort of appreciation for flutes.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
There was a kid who died because he was sat on by an elephant. You're laughing right! Ok well think about it you're bring crushed my an ELEPHANT!!!!! A freaking 5 ton elephant! I'm...
Make It Off The Island
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about...
Condom says to the tampon:" you put me out of a job one week a month!"
Tampon replies:" when you don't do your job properly, I loose mine for NINE MONTHS!!!!!!"
Here's your math joke for the day:
Q: What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with an elephant?
A: You can't cross them, a mountain climber is just a scalar
What's invisible and smells like carrots?
a: rabbit farts
Speaking of rabbits- how do you catch a unique rabbit?
A: unique up on it
How do you catch a tame rabbit?
A: tame way, unique up on it.
I believe at one time or another everyone hates stupid people, but if you think about it, what would keep us entertained? There is a common balance to it I'm sure. Random thoughts...
The fire time I saw him, I swear I heard some music in my head. He was simply beautiful. He had these gorgeous thick eyelashes, which underneath were hidden the cutest emerald eyes...
A man is waiting for wife to give birth. The doctor comes in and informs the dad that his son was born without torso, arms or legs. The son is just a head! But the dad loves his...
A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde...
He pulls me in with his eyes and funny expressions. I can't help but laugh when he makes ridiculous jokes. When he utters my thoughts out loud, I feel the terror of admiring...
One Direction has inspired me to do so many things its cray. I love them all so much, and i'd die to meet them. Or hug them. . Or date them. Or marry them. Or ma- YOU GET THE POINT...
2 days later - I saw her standing outside when I had to go inside the building. I could choose between 2 doors and I walked to the door were she was. When I was close to her we...
He's married and far away from me. How I got in this situation ? I have no idea, all I know is it has to end somehow, both for me and for him. He's the most wonderful person I have...
It may sounds stupid and childish but I admire him.He's always upbeat ,laughs and smiles all the time.He doesn't care about the rudness of Carlos and loves his job very much.He...
I admit that I have a crush on a teacher. It started last year , I was late for school for a month because of my expired passport.
Yes , I was a month late. Then the first time I...
Tony and his friend John die in a car accident and go to judgment. God tells Tony that because he cheated on his income taxes, the only way he can enter Heaven is to sleep with a...
Some new vocabulary (Part 2)
dopelar effect, noun:
(1) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when you come at them rapidly.
(2) The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter...