Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,288 People

    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 2 Responses 11 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    my mom ask me today how I got my name

    (referring to naming my phone), the first response to her was,"the same way you got your, parents, don't you remember naming me?"
    tiffsica tiffsica 41-45, F May 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In a lost village a guy with a 25 inches D***

    wants to make it shorter so he goes to see the elder of his village. the elder tells him to go to the forest where he will find a magic frog and he'll ask her to marry him, if she says no he'll loose 5 inches. the guy says well let's try and goes to the forest after a long...
    Mindlha Mindlha 22-25, M May 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Do you know the definition of tragedy?

    . . .. President Barack Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the president if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'. So our...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 3 Responses May 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A little old lady is on a bus,

    buying a ticket from the bus conductor. She fumbles in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and...
    Charmer3 Charmer3 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think I want a job cleaning mirrors.

    it's just something I could really see myself doing
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 5 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two fish swim into a concrete wall.

    One turns to the other and says "DAM!"
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    why did the tomato blush?

    because he saw the salad dressing
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So... What do you call artificial pasta?

    .... An IMPASTA! AHAHAHAHAH *drum*
    marebare303 marebare303 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Cannon31 Cannon31 31-35, M Dec 30, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    If you ever feel stupid,

    remember that one time my twin brother forgot my birthday.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 2 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    One day a chicken came into the library

    and went "book". The librarian gives the chicken a book, the chicken sticks it under its wing and leaves. The next day, the chicken returns and goes "book-book-book". The librarian gives the chicken 3 books, the chicken sticks it under its wings again and leaves. The day after...
    Gentle153Old Gentle153Old 26-30, M Dec 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And the Lord said unto John,

    "Come forth and you shall receive eternal life." But John came fifth...and only ended up winning a toaster.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 4 Responses 12 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 21, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    In downtown Roanoke, at a crowded bus stop,

    an attractive girl was waiting for a bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M May 25

    Your Response

    Cancel
    missreeedy missreeedy 31-35, F Feb 8

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So a wife wants to catch her man cheating.

    Here's what she did: She writes a note saying she's leaving because she isn't happy yada yada yada. Places it on their bed and proceeds to hide under the bed waiting for her man to get home Man comes home sees the note, reads the note and immediately gets on his phone. He...
    insensitiveone insensitiveone 31-35, M 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a

    middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them. He then takes out a perfume bottle and starts spraying scent all over them. His curiosity getting the better of him, he goes up to the balding...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I got a joke for you.

    .. It's rhetorical.
    Sesshomaru031 Sesshomaru031 16-17, M May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Going to to McDonald's

    for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
    JackH19 JackH19 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I would rather cuddle then have sex.

    if you're good with grammar, you'll get it.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A young woman went to her doctor complaining of

    pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor. "You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do you mean, all over?" asked the doctor, "be a little more specific." The woman touched her right knee with her index finger and yelled, "Ow, that hurts." Then she...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On his wedding night the groom confesses to his

    lovely bride. "Honey I have to tell you that you just married a golf addict." His new wife looks up and says, "We now that we are confessing things I have something to tell you. I am a hooker!" The groom jumps up all excited and yells out, " Oh that's easy to fix. All you have...
    showstar showstar 66-70, M 3 Responses May 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    MY FAVORITE JOKE EVER Q: What did one lawyer

    say to the other? A: We're both lawyers."
    midnightmage midnightmage 22-25, M 5 Responses May 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl use the

    bathroom? Because the "P" is silent. THE "P" is silent, Coral!!
    cbcs cbcs 31-35, M 1 Response 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A guy driving his car runs a red light

    when a police officer stops him. you ran that red light ! yes i did. you didn't see it ? i saw it. so why did you do it ? i saw the red light but i didn't see YOU.
    Mindlha Mindlha 22-25, M 3 Responses May 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "A pirate walks into a bar.

    The bartender asks 'what's with the steering wheel in your pants?' The pirate responds 'ARGG! It's drivin me nutz!'"
    srgamesalot srgamesalot 13-15, M 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    After serving 18 months of a 25-year sentence,

    a man escaped from prison. His escape was the lead story on the early evening TV news and knowing that there would be a huge search party out looking for him, he took care to make his way home via a long, cross-country route of fields and forests. When he finally made it to his...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response Apr 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Tired of constantly being broke

    and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed. A "friend of a friend" put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response 2 hrs ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 7 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Whenever you're feeling sad,

    remember: somewhere some idiot is trying to push a door that's says pull.
    MommysGotTats420 MommysGotTats420 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was in church and the preast was giving a

    sermon about alcohol how bad it is for you .and to prove it he put a worm in a glass of water and one in to a glass of whiskey after a while he held up the two glasses and said look the worm in the water is still alive and the worm in the whiskey is dead what dose that prove...
    robo57 robo57 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A man got pulled over

    for speeding .. The officer approached the car and said " sir if you can give me one good reason why you were speeding I'll let you go ... The man thought a second and then said " a few years ago my wife ran off with a state trooper, and I thought you were bringing her back...
    roxy20122929292 roxy20122929292 22-25, F 3 Responses May 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lion King. Why did Simba's dad die?

    Because he couldn't Mufasa.
    AnonymousJSS AnonymousJSS 13-15, F 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    What my girlfriend thought,

    first 4 dates: 1. Nice shirt. 2. Wow,a second nice shirt. 3. Okay, first shirt again. 4. He has two shirts.
    omarrochet omarrochet 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why doesn't Santa have any kids?

    Because he only comes once a year.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 3 Responses May 13

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Men say that women should come with instruction,

    what's the point of that? Have you actually seen a man read the instructions anyways?..
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 4 Responses Apr 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two peanuts walk into a bar,

    one was a salted. I was a banker, but I lost interest. I had a job crushing cans, it was soda pressing.. How do you make holy water? You boiler the hell out of it. A soldier who survives mustard gas and pepper spray, is a seasoned veteran. If you ever need an ark, I...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response May 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    why Mosquitos like prostitutes cos in most

    cases most off them are disease carrying suckers
    ChloeValintina ChloeValintina 26-30, F 1 Response May 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Some guy at the bar turns to his friend

    and says: you are getting really fat!! His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
    wannahelpyou81 wannahelpyou81 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    an ugly girl goes into a haunted house

    when a ghost comes out. The girl screams God help me and the ghost replies i was going to say the same thing.
    Mindlha Mindlha 22-25, M 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    jbm1984 jbm1984 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    How do you confuse a blonde?

    Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    cnk2015 cnk2015 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday

    and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy and said, "Murphy, I am so glad you decided to come to Mass, what made you come?" Murphy said, "I got to be honest with you Father, a...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response May 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My friend told me this joke was the only one

    laughing lol Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!
    brenda4696 brenda4696 18-21, F Jan 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Two boys are argueing one of them say " your

    **** is so small its like a tic tak " The other boy laughs and says "Thats why your mom's and your sister's breath smells of mint slot of the time "
    Kels131 Kels131 13-15, F 1 Response