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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,973 People

    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 23, 2014

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    My friend told me this joke was the only one

    laughing lol Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!
    brenda4696 brenda4696 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20, 2014

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    I hate cruelty to animals.

    .that's why I don't spank my monkey.
    pelgrim71 pelgrim71 41-45, M 3 Responses Jan 11

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    I went to the bar tonight

    and ended up piercing a girl's nipple for her. I'm really bad at darts.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 2, 2014

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    ~~Another day in the Liverpool team~~ Simon

    Mignolet: "We're **** at the back! We're **** at the back!" Mario Balotelli: "No one cares! We're on the attack!"
    ThisIsNickers ThisIsNickers 16-17, M Jan 2

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    carter7 carter7 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    Escalators are just stairs

    that have moved ahead in life.
    samshungg samshungg 26-30, M 3 days ago

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    Going to to McDonald's

    for a salad is like going to a prostitute for a hug
    JackH19 JackH19 18-21, M 14 hrs ago

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    On which side of a horse grows the most hair?

    (The answer really is a single side. I'll give the answer after a couple of guesses.)
    Gentle153 Gentle153 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    don't be one just eat one?

    one what? A chicken lolol
    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 6, 2014

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Me: hey let's play a game I say A you say B

    and so on Me: A You; B Me:C You: D Me: E You: F Me: U! Lol
    AloneGirl13 AloneGirl13 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I swear! I pee my pants every time I watch

    Impractical Jokers... That show will never get old
    JJjones0 JJjones0 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 18, 2014

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    Kid joke alert: What did the complementary

    biscuit say to the tea? You're lovely
    Sconstan Sconstan 26-30, F Jan 13

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    kernalzuggy kernalzuggy 22-25, M 8 Responses Dec 14, 2014

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    if your mother -n - law

    and lawyer were drowning and you had to choose. would u go out to eat? or to a movie?
    tahneegirl tahneegirl 26-30, F 2 Responses Jan 5

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 6, 2014

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    I was in church and the preast was giving a

    sermon about alcohol how bad it is for you .and to prove it he put a worm in a glass of water and one in to a glass of whiskey after a while he held up the two glasses and said look the worm in the water is still alive and the worm in the whiskey is dead what dose that prove...
    robo57 robo57 56-60, M 1 Response Dec 6, 2014

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    cnk2015 cnk2015 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    So... What do you call artificial pasta?

    .... An IMPASTA! AHAHAHAHAH *drum*
    marebare303 marebare303 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    One day a chicken came into the library

    and went "book". The librarian gives the chicken a book, the chicken sticks it under its wing and leaves. The next day, the chicken returns and goes "book-book-book". The librarian gives the chicken 3 books, the chicken sticks it under its wings again and leaves. The day after...
    Gentle153 Gentle153 26-30, M Dec 15, 2014

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    avgjoe71 avgjoe71 41-45, M Jan 5

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    amberhunolt amberhunolt 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 17, 2014

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    Ok this is great what did the narwall say to

    the girls on the nude beach
    con7399 con7399 13-15, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    sissybecks sissybecks 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 12, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 31, 2014

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    Cannon31 Cannon31 31-35, M Dec 30, 2014

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    kitkat1000 kitkat1000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    u4yah u4yah 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15, 2014

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response May 24, 2008

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    ??Tortoise and a Rabbit?

    ?wrote an entrance exam, ?? ??Tortoise got 80%, ??Rabbit got 81%. Both went for ??admission to an engineering college, Cut-off needed was 85%. ???? ??Rabbit didn't get admission, but the Tortoise got admission. ?? How? ??U remember when we were young, the tortoise won a...
    priyadharshan0 priyadharshan0 13-15, M a week ago

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    Some guy at the bar turns to his friend

    and says: you are getting really fat!! His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
    wannahelpyou81 wannahelpyou81 31-35, M 1 Response Nov 26, 2014

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    A little old lady is on a bus,

    buying a ticket from the bus conductor. She fumbles in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged that he hits her on the head with the ticket-dispenser, and the poor old dear dies instantly. Not surprisingly, he is convicted and...
    Charmer3 Charmer3 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 13

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    Related Experiences

    The weird kind of humour that comes from unfunny jokes. They only appeal to a very specific type of person, everyone else will just stare at you as if you're an idiot, roll their...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F Jan 18

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    I live in Montreal, and for that reason my children have never been to a beach before. On our first family trip down South we decided one of the first things we were going to do...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    I was thinking about being an investment banker. But then I lost interest.
    NarakunoHana NarakunoHana 26-30, F Jan 3

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    Q: Why did the Blonde cross the road? A: she saw something shiny on the other side.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jan 7

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    The Interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 9

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    What kind of dog lives in the North Pole? A chili dog! :D hehe.
    GlitzandGlamber GlitzandGlamber 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 13

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    Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jan 14

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    “Can you please fax over your resume?” asked the interviewer. “I’m sorry” responded the blonde, “it’s my only copy!”
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm in love. Love love love. Stupidly, like all the people I've made fun of over the years. Me, who swore off marriage. Me, who felt relationships were just a friend/ roommate...
    lulabelle7 lulabelle7 31-35, F 12 hrs ago