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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 176 People

    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    One day a guy decided to kill home self.

    Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the checkout counter the librarian said he could not check that book out. She say once you read it your likely to not bring it back.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Stupid Joke #3

    Sally opened her refrigerator and found a rabbit inside. Surprised, she asked the rabbit, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?" "Isn't this a Westinghouse?" the rabbit asked. "Yes, it is," Sally answered. "Well, I'm westing,"...
    XW XW 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    Irish Wife

    Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry. his wife says "Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #4

    Why do lions always eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook!  (Rimshot!)
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Chinese

    "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son. "What is it dad?" He asked. "You were adopted," I murmured. "That's impossible!" He exclaimed, "We look the same." "Well," I replied, "That's because we are ******* Chinese."
    derekdob derekdob 56-60, M Nov 14, 2013

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    A Definition Of Irony

    Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    How Can You Drop An Egg

    4 feet and have is survive? Leave it in the chicken.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #9

    How do you catch a squirrel?   You climb into a tree and act like a nut.   <hee hee>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    Two Monocles

    Two monocles got married, They made a spectacle of themselves.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #7

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?   A:  Because they have big fingers.   EEEWWWWW!!!!  <LOL>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Stupid Joke #5

    Knock, knock Who’s there? Adolf...Adolf who? (are you ready for it???) ... Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    Stupid Joke, #13

    Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid......   :-) A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. · 'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' · 'Not yet,' she replied.    
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses May 29, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M May 24, 2008

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    What did the duck say

    when she laid a square egg? "Ouch"
    rickie53 rickie53 41-45, M Jan 20

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    Silly But Funny

    I'm writing this slowly, Because i know you cant read very fast. I was going to send you some money, But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it. Your sister had a baby, dont know what it is yet, So I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2012

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    Me: Who ever wondered

    why chocolate chips melt in your hand not the oven? You: Me! Me: Me too LOL
    iamnoor iamnoor 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Stupid Joke # 10

    Why did Bob fall off the bike? Because Bob was an orange!
    ClearPier ClearPier 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #14

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses May 31, 2008

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    Stupid Jokes

    Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 28, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    A blonde woman decides that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    The jokes like..... "Dude....you were really drunk up last night......" "What? No....i wasnt...." "you were.....coz you threw my parrot against the wall and shouted...YOU ANGRY...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 1

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    I knew a blonde that was so stupid that she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 8

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    Hehe 😄🙈✋🍟🍝🍝. Ya i ate , nd i love anti jokers
    sunnynight15 sunnynight15 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    Best one I've seen today while browsing.
    Emiliodecker Emiliodecker 16-17, M Jun 24

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    Not really a joke but it made me giggle.
    Emiliodecker Emiliodecker 16-17, M Jun 24

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    Daddy, where did I come from? From the stork omg daddy, you do screw everything
    Germancowboy Germancowboy 56-60, M Jun 25

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    Driving in a car A blonde and a brunette are driving in a car. Unexpectedly the car stops. The blonde asks: "What has happened?" "We ran out of petrol," answered the brunette...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    Cheating Two blondes talk. One of them says: "You know, I have cheated a taxi driver yesterday!!" The other blonde asks: "How did you do this?" The blonde replies: "I paid...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jun 26

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    Real story Two blondes talk: - Listen, your hair look like a wig. - But it is a wig. - So cool, and it looks like real hair.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    Did you hear about the blonde that got excited? She finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months, when the box said, "two to four years."
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jun 29

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    Two blondes sail with the boat. Suddenly, the hole appeared in the boat. The first blonde starts to panic, and another says: - Do not worry, I'll make a second hole through which...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Jun 29

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    Once there was a blonde that went to work crying. The boss, who was concerned asked, "what's wrong?" She responded, "My mother died!" The boss offered her to take some time off of...
    saboosa1 saboosa1 13-15, F Jul 1

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    Q: What is a cool refreshing drink for a blonde? A: Perri-air.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 1

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    A blond, brunette, and a redhead go hunting. The brunette goes into the woods and comes back out with a deer. They ask,"How did you get that deer?" She responded,"I saw the...
    Mokuba Mokuba 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    Do you know why they started naming Hurricanes after Men? They figured the storms would never get past the Virgin Islands....
    Davido57 Davido57 56-60, M Jul 3

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    Librarian – “Yes, how can I help you? Blonde – “Hi, I need help with my bibliography, how can I find out Ibid’s first name?
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 3

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    A blonde goes into a dry cleaners to clean her new blouse. She walks up to the counter and hands the cashier her top. When she turns around to leave they say "Come again!" With a...
    vividdreamer97 vividdreamer97 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 12

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    Q: What did the blonde name her watch dogs? A: Timex and Rolex.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jul 13

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    Q: What did the blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? A: "Look! they spelled MACYS wrong!" s
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Jul 13

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    A mother carefully explained to her young daughter how children were created. She used the expression “carrying a child” instead of “pregnant,” but the girl seemed...
    boxersoff4u boxersoff4u 51-55, M Jul 14