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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 205 People

    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M May 24, 2008

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    Two Monocles

    Two monocles got married, They made a spectacle of themselves.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    A Definition Of Irony

    Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Irish Wife

    Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry. his wife says "Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    WhatTheFrenchToast WhatTheFrenchToast 18-21, M Aug 19

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    Stupid Joke #14

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses May 31, 2008

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Me: Who ever wondered

    why chocolate chips melt in your hand not the oven? You: Me! Me: Me too LOL
    iamnoor iamnoor 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    Stupid Joke #7

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?   A:  Because they have big fingers.   EEEWWWWW!!!!  <LOL>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Chinese

    "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son. "What is it dad?" He asked. "You were adopted," I murmured. "That's impossible!" He exclaimed, "We look the same." "Well," I replied, "That's because we are ******* Chinese."
    derekdob derekdob 56-60, M Nov 14, 2013

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    What did the duck say

    when she laid a square egg? "Ouch"
    rickie53 rickie53 41-45, M Jan 20

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    Stupid Joke #5

    Knock, knock Who’s there? Adolf...Adolf who? (are you ready for it???) ... Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    FindingTheRealMe FindingTheRealMe 16-17, F Aug 18

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    One day a guy decided to kill home self.

    Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the checkout counter the librarian said he could not check that book out. She say once you read it your likely to not bring it back.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #4

    Why do lions always eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook!  (Rimshot!)
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Silly But Funny

    I'm writing this slowly, Because i know you cant read very fast. I was going to send you some money, But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it. Your sister had a baby, dont know what it is yet, So I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Jokes

    Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 28, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    Stupid Joke # 10

    Why did Bob fall off the bike? Because Bob was an orange!
    ClearPier ClearPier 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #3

    Sally opened her refrigerator and found a rabbit inside. Surprised, she asked the rabbit, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?" "Isn't this a Westinghouse?" the rabbit asked. "Yes, it is," Sally answered. "Well, I'm westing,"...
    XW XW 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #9

    How do you catch a squirrel?   You climb into a tree and act like a nut.   <hee hee>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    How Can You Drop An Egg

    4 feet and have is survive? Leave it in the chicken.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    Stupid Joke, #13

    Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid......   :-) A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. · 'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' · 'Not yet,' she replied.    
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses May 29, 2008

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    I feel like I'm the only one

    that will laugh at the worst joke ever! Haha
    FindingTheRealMe FindingTheRealMe 16-17, F Aug 18

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    Everyone has the right to be stupid--------------> But you're abusing the privilege :P
    littleana littleana 18-21, F 2 Responses Sep 9

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    I know it's cool to bash celebrities. But the Beiber jokes have to stop...that's someones daughter.
    Thepainlover Thepainlover 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 30

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    Why were the steelers not allowed in the NBA?
    Experiencevisionary Experiencevisionary 13-15, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    Q: What do you call a veterinary surgeon with laryngitis? A: A hoarse doctor.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Aug 20

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    The number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. “Sorry I can’t serve you,” states the barman. “Why not?!” asks the number twelve with anger...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Aug 21

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    Mother: daughter, why are you crying? Daughter:: mommy I pass the test. Mother: wow! That good baby, you're very good, which subject? Daughter: pregnancy test mommy!!( crying...
    onionheart16 onionheart16 26-30, F 1 Response Sep 3

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    What did the ocean say to the sea? Nothing, it just waved
    fjordecrosser fjordecrosser 18-21, M 1 Response Sep 3

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    Q: Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? A: Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 9

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    Parking Fine “I got a compliment on my driving today,” said a blonde to her friend, there was a note left on my windshield it said “parking fine”.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    and looking up funny pictures and cracking up. I swear I could look at funny internet memes four hours. Absolutely love stupid funny memes!
    davinalakay davinalakay 26-30, F Sep 1

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    Its a few days before school starts and I've been praying every night that i get my history teacher from last year again. He is the most amazing person i have ever met. i get...
    bellabee25 bellabee25 13-15, F Sep 3

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    ... she hurts me all of the time, even if she doesn't realize she's doing it. My family isn't poor, but we know what it's like to have too much month left at the end of the money...
    yaguu yaguu 22-25, F 1 Response 13 hrs ago

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    My heart has been smashed to pieces over & over again for two years. I am not a stupid person but I am a complete fool. I am ashamed. I am lost. I hurt, I hurt, I hurt, I hurt, I...
    willbefreeiwill willbefreeiwill 36-40, F 6 Responses 13 hrs ago

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    This week I have been put on last warning with the school and had to sign a piece of paper saying if I do anything wrong I'm kicked out. When my lover found out he got so mad at...
    secretschoolgirl4 secretschoolgirl4 13-15, F 1 Response 12 hrs ago

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    Reading some of the "experiences" on here makes me even more happy to be me. Not settling for a relationship with some girl that is not compatible to me. There's some messed up...
    colorstone colorstone 31-35, M 16 hrs ago

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    The perfect man poem. The perfect man is gentle Never cruel or mean He has a beautiful smile And keeps his face so clean. The perfect man likes children And will raise...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 25

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    What's brown and sticky? The answer will make you feel stupid.
    Irteth Irteth 22-25, M 10 Responses Aug 21

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    Sound advice from kids! Never trust a dog to watch your food. When your dad is mad and asks you, 'Do I look stupid?' don't answer. Never tell your mom her diet's not working...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 Responses Aug 25