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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 207 People

    Irish Wife

    Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry. his wife says "Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    A Definition Of Irony

    Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke, #13

    Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid......   :-) A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. · 'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' · 'Not yet,' she replied.    
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses May 29, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #14

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses May 31, 2008

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    Stupid Joke #3

    Sally opened her refrigerator and found a rabbit inside. Surprised, she asked the rabbit, "What are you doing in my refrigerator?" "Isn't this a Westinghouse?" the rabbit asked. "Yes, it is," Sally answered. "Well, I'm westing,"...
    XW XW 46-50, M 8 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #4

    Why do lions always eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook!  (Rimshot!)
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 5 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Chinese

    "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son. "What is it dad?" He asked. "You were adopted," I murmured. "That's impossible!" He exclaimed, "We look the same." "Well," I replied, "That's because we are ******* Chinese."
    derekdob derekdob 56-60, M Nov 14, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    Stupid Joke # 10

    Why did Bob fall off the bike? Because Bob was an orange!
    ClearPier ClearPier 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Me: Who ever wondered

    why chocolate chips melt in your hand not the oven? You: Me! Me: Me too LOL
    iamnoor iamnoor 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Stupid Joke #5

    Knock, knock Who’s there? Adolf...Adolf who? (are you ready for it???) ... Adolph ball hit me in de mowf. Dat’s why I dawk dis way
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Jan 4, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #7

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?   A:  Because they have big fingers.   EEEWWWWW!!!!  <LOL>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Two Monocles

    Two monocles got married, They made a spectacle of themselves.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    WhatTheFrenchToast WhatTheFrenchToast 18-21, M Aug 19

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    What did the duck say

    when she laid a square egg? "Ouch"
    rickie53 rickie53 41-45, M Jan 20

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M May 24, 2008

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    How Can You Drop An Egg

    4 feet and have is survive? Leave it in the chicken.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    Silly But Funny

    I'm writing this slowly, Because i know you cant read very fast. I was going to send you some money, But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it. Your sister had a baby, dont know what it is yet, So I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2012

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    One day a guy decided to kill home self.

    Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the checkout counter the librarian said he could not check that book out. She say once you read it your likely to not bring it back.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 13-15, F 3 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #9

    How do you catch a squirrel?   You climb into a tree and act like a nut.   <hee hee>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    Stupid Jokes

    Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 28, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    A couple walks on the beach and the seagull flies over and craps on the ladies shoulder.. Mortified the guy says.. ' let me run inside to get a towel' and the lady replies ' Don't...
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 30

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    Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.. Why was the Cyclops a good teacher? cause he only had one pupil.. OMG Cheesy Jokes are my life they always put a smile...
    chialuvgirl chialuvgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 13

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    Bumper sticker: Honk if you love Jesus Text if you want to meet Him
    shadowplt shadowplt 46-50, M Sep 28

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    Why isn't their any casinos in Africa? I don't know tell me. their is too many cheetas
    TheDyingButterfly TheDyingButterfly 13-15, F 2 days ago

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    What's brown and sticky?.......a stick ! How do you confuse an idiot?......tell you tomorrow!! Knock knock!.......atch! ........here! Have a hanky!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 day ago

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    Q: what do you call a sleeping bull? A: a bull-dozer
    Gettingout72 Gettingout72 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    Q: why was the mother flea so unhappy? A: all her children have gone to the dog.
    Gettingout72 Gettingout72 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    A guy walking down the street stops a fellow pedestrian and says "Sssscuse mm me mate. Ha ha have you ggggot the tttime o o o on you m m mate?" The pedestrian remains silent. "S s...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Sep 25

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    'I see' said the blind man to the deaf man listening to the radio..
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F Sep 26

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    Q.how do you make seven an even number? A.take the s out!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 26

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    Deepika Padukone-I have more fans than you.Aaliya Bhatt-I have A .C. at home .
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 26

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    At the construction job There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 28

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    Ouch! A young blonde woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 29

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    A guy comes home stone drunk and standing by his bedroom door he says .. ' The next time this bed comes around, I'm on it.'
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F Sep 30

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    After an accident the patient wakes up at hospital and looking up at the nurse in sheer horror exclaims, 'I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs' and the nurse looks down at...
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 30

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    Old lady goes to a dentist; sits down, drops panties, and lifts legs. He says, "I'm not a gynecologist!" She says, "I know, I need my husband's teeth back!"
    Crazychick123456 Crazychick123456 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 1

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    Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!!!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Oct 4

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    What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
    wildcherry3393 wildcherry3393 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    If I flip a coin, what's the chances of me getting head?
    Adam352 Adam352 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 10

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    How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in your fridge? You can see its body sticking out.
    SeaSalt38 SeaSalt38 13-15, F 3 days ago

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