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I Love Stupid Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,812 People

    Stupid Joke #2

    Okay, I'll jump in on this one...  here goes: How can you drop an egg four feet without breaking it? ... ... ...are you ready for the answer?... ... ... Drop it from five feet.  Then it won't break in the first four feet.       ...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 29, 2007

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    amberhunolt amberhunolt 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 17

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    Stupid Joke #1

    I do love stupid jokes, they always make me snicker. A Priest, a Rabbi, and a Buddhist Monk walk into a bar, The bartender looks up and says, "What is this, some kind of a joke?" Hey, they can only get better (or stupider)!
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 29, 2007

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    Stupid Joke #9

    How do you catch a squirrel?   You climb into a tree and act like a nut.   <hee hee>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 3 Responses Feb 11, 2008

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    A Definition Of Irony

    Doing crazy stunts in your friends wheelchair, and you cripple yourself.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    kitkat1000 kitkat1000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25

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    WhatTheFrenchToast WhatTheFrenchToast 18-21, M Aug 19

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    Me: Who ever wondered

    why chocolate chips melt in your hand not the oven? You: Me! Me: Me too LOL
    iamnoor iamnoor 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 28

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    Two Monocles

    Two monocles got married, They made a spectacle of themselves.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    I was in church and the preast was giving a

    sermon about alcohol how bad it is for you .and to prove it he put a worm in a glass of water and one in to a glass of whiskey after a while he held up the two glasses and said look the worm in the water is still alive and the worm in the whiskey is dead what dose that prove...
    robo57 robo57 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 6

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    What concert only cost 45 cents?

    50 cents featuring Nickelback *giggles*
    hiddenhands hiddenhands 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Some guy at the bar turns to his friend

    and says: you are getting really fat!! His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
    wannahelpyou81 wannahelpyou81 31-35, M 3 Responses Nov 26

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    One day a chicken came into the library

    and went "book". The librarian gives the chicken a book, the chicken sticks it under its wing and leaves. The next day, the chicken returns and goes "book-book-book". The librarian gives the chicken 3 books, the chicken sticks it under its wings again and leaves. The day after...
    Gentle153 Gentle153 26-30, M Dec 15

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    So

    So this guy who suffers from premature *********** comes out of nowhere...
    KendraKitty KendraKitty 22-25, F 6 Responses Nov 21, 2013

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    Stupid Joke #15

    One more lame joke!   Nurse:  Doctor, there's an invisible man in the waiting room.       Doctor:  Tell him that I can't see him.      
    XW XW 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 14, 2008

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    I swear! I pee my pants every time I watch

    Impractical Jokers... That show will never get old
    JJjones0 JJjones0 18-21, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    How Can You Drop An Egg

    4 feet and have is survive? Leave it in the chicken.
    coloco coloco 61-65, M 1 Response May 28, 2011

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    u4yah u4yah 36-40, M 1 Response Dec 15

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    Ok this is great what did the narwall say to

    the girls on the nude beach
    con7399 con7399 13-15, M 1 Response Nov 26

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    One day a guy decided to kill home self.

    Unable to decide the best way, he went to the library. After finding a how too book on suicide, he decided to read at home. At the checkout counter the librarian said he could not check that book out. She say once you read it your likely to not bring it back.
    Readytorun567 Readytorun567 26-30, M 2 Responses Mar 23

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    sissybecks sissybecks 41-45, M 3 Responses Dec 12

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    kernalzuggy kernalzuggy 22-25, M 7 Responses Dec 14

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    Stupid Joke #11

    What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are $4.50 per pound. And deer nuts are under a buck Cheers!  
    Nanoose Nanoose 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12, 2008

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    Me: do you know updog?

    Girlfriend: what's updog? Me: *starts laughing hysterically* Girlfriend: *facepalms*
    Dubstepdude25 Dubstepdude25 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 20

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    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    What did the duck say

    when she laid a square egg? "Ouch"
    rickie53 rickie53 41-45, M 1 Response Jan 20

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    Stupid Joke #14

    A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that? "...
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses May 31, 2008

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    Irish Wife

    Paddy is stopped by the cops, and gets really really loud and angry. his wife says "Ah you don't want to mind him, he's always like this when he has drink in him"
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M Oct 3, 2012

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    I went to the bar tonight

    and ended up piercing a girl's nipple for her. I'm really bad at darts.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 2

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    Okay It's a Bit Rubbish.....

    Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She couldn't control her pupils. Well I did tell you it was rubbish.......
    AWUK AWUK 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Joke #12

        Did you hear about the two guys who stole everything out of a house except the soap and towels. They were dirty crooks!  
    XW XW 46-50, M 1 Response May 24, 2008

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    Someone please spam me with laugh out loud

    jokes! In that kind of mood πŸ˜‚
    kittyAloha kittyAloha 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 26

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    don't be one just eat one?

    one what? A chicken lolol
    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 6

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    Stupid Joke #6

    A horse walks into a bar, the bartender looks up and says, "Hey!" The horse says, "Sure!" They just get worse!
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses Jan 5, 2008

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    Stupid Joke, #13

    Okay Ladies, maybe you won't think it is so stupid......   :-) A 3-year-old boy examined his testicles while taking a bath. · 'Mum', he asked, 'Are these my brains?' · 'Not yet,' she replied.    
    XW XW 46-50, M 2 Responses May 29, 2008

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    One day mom was cleaning her son's room

    and under the bed, she found a bondage S+M magazine. This was highly upsetting for her. She hid the magazine until his father got home and showed it to him. He looked at it and handed it back to her with out a word. She finally asked him, "Well what should we do about this?" Dad...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Mar 23

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    Chinese

    "It's about time I told you an important thing," I said to my 15 year old son. "What is it dad?" He asked. "You were adopted," I murmured. "That's impossible!" He exclaimed, "We look the same." "Well," I replied, "That's because we are ******* Chinese."
    derekdob derekdob 56-60, M Nov 14, 2013

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    ebbiethebullet325 ebbiethebullet325 16-17, F 3 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Silly But Funny

    I'm writing this slowly, Because i know you cant read very fast. I was going to send you some money, But I had the envelope sealed before I thought of it. Your sister had a baby, dont know what it is yet, So I don't know if your an aunt or an uncle.
    cyrilpeter cyrilpeter 51-55, M 1 Response Oct 3, 2012

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    Stupid Joke #7

    Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils?   A:  Because they have big fingers.   EEEWWWWW!!!!  <LOL>
    dyin2live dyin2live 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 1, 2008

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    Stupid Jokes

    Stupid jokes,Love 'em,So corny,You have to laugh,They nearly make you sick!
    lazycrazybasket lazycrazybasket 46-50, M 1 Response Mar 28, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    my 4 year old came up with this one ... why did Darth Vader cross the road?? to get to the dark side lol i love it!
    mamaberry27 mamaberry27 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 4

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    "I'm not saying I think idiots should die, but maybe we should remove all the warning labels, and let the problem sort itself out?" Love this quote! Accurate.
    NatashaRose NatashaRose 18-21, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Is your name Katniss? Because you're starting an uprising in my district. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
    Kamberxo Kamberxo 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 16

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    Gets yelled at for singing in the shower* "There are 2 things that you can't suppress in the shower.. My balls and my soul." haaaaa
    TheNeverendingLlama TheNeverendingLlama 18-21, M 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Lady: Im s3xually harassed at office! Friend: What happened? Lady: A Man keeps saying your hair smells nice. Friend: So whats wrong in that? Lady: He’s only 3 feet tall!! Lolz.
    Dickuu Dickuu 26-30, M Nov 26

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    Student: "is it ever ok to get in trouble for something u didn't do?" Teacher: "no, its not okay" Student: "okay, I didn't do my homework"
    ThatOneBlackGurl ThatOneBlackGurl 18-21, F Nov 29

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    What is a mouses weapon of choice? Sharp Cheddar!!!
    DrakeoMagister DrakeoMagister 16-17, M Nov 29

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    How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I tried to catch some fog. I mist
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 3

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    Why didn't the toilet paper roll make it across the street? Because it got stuck in a crack!