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I Love to Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 36,111 People

    Rectum Stretcher While she was ‘flying’

    down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’ To which she...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 17

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    Why English Teachers Retire Early

    WHY ENGLISH TEACHERS RETIRE EARLY The following similes and metaphors were committed by high school students.    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.   2. His thoughts tumbled in his head...
    RomanticRunner RomanticRunner 46-50, T 17 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    LOL..Well, Duh!!! As a trucker stops at a red

    light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 14 Responses Jan 19

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    Irish Comedian Dusty Young http://youtu.

    be/IBRIZGyOnPQ Not everybody's cup of tea but still makes me laugh...
    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    Duck Hunters A woman brought a very limp duck

    into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus on

    O Connell Street in Limerick City. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, So she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, The man burst out laughing, She...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    LOL..Now you know the whole story.

    .. :P When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life substantially easier. Eve nodded, and...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 15 Responses Jan 18

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    Two kinds of people in this world !

    1- happy morning people :) 2- those who want to kill happy morning people ... lol Good morning lol get the hell up :)
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 3 Responses Jun 11

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F Jun 8

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 2

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    So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food

    for the dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 13 Responses Aug 1, 2014

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    A blonde driving a car became lost in a

    snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 27 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    I LOVE LAUGHING.....I'm one of those people

    that laugh LOUDLY so loud you can hear me on the other side a football field XD
    Awesome3549 Awesome3549 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 17

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    A Jewish daughter says to her mother,

    "I'm divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece." Her mother says ….. "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $25...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 23 Responses Jan 21

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    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY ( FOR THE AGING LOL ) The

    missus bought a paperback down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag. . . . T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey" Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared, The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope, And in her right...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 21

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    First Trailer For Ted 2 Arrives OnlineHot on

    the fuzzy heels of Tuesday's tongue-in-cheek poster is the first full-length trailer for Seth MacFarlane's comedy sequel, Ted 2. I almost never see movies in the theater, but I'm definitely seeing Ted 2.I couldn't find the trailer that I just saw on tv that really cracked me up...
    SavannahAnsley SavannahAnsley 41-45, F Jun 9

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    most of the time im actually pretty sad

    but laughing can be a great distraction sometimes from how i feel. when i laugh it feels great, like nothing matters and my laugh makes others laugh and if i can't be happy then im glad other people can be. apparently, i have like 12 different laughs and not one of them sounds...
    mxtxc mxtxc 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 8 Responses Jan 20

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    cheleshere cheleshere 66-70, F Jun 19

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    I found this highly amusing

    for some reason
    PraiseBeToYevon PraiseBeToYevon 31-35, F 11 Responses Jun 7

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    I’m great at multitasking.

    I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
    HMC17 HMC17 13-15, M 4 Responses Apr 25

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    NURSERY RHYMES – with a difference Mary had a

    little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard. Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 17 Responses Jan 4

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    Wife Texts Hubby Wife texts husband on a cold

    winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really screwed up now."
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 6 Responses Apr 3

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    If ever a comma was needed!

    Lmao See photo Banner from women's soccer world cup
    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M 9 Responses 3 days ago

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    While walking through Golden Gate Park in San

    Francisco , a man came upon another man hugging a tree with his ear firmly against the tree. Seeing this he inquired, "Just out of curiosity, what the heck are you doing?" "I'm listening to the music of the tree," the other man replied. "You've gotta be kiddin' me." "No...
    hammer963 hammer963 51-55, M Jun 14

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    txbtrfly txbtrfly 41-45, F Jun 10

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    blackbeauty221 blackbeauty221 22-25, F 1 Response a week ago

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    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M 3 days ago

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    MsInvis MsInvis 46-50, F 2 Responses 21 hrs ago

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    A business man got on an elevator.

    When he entered, there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so...
    hammer963 hammer963 51-55, M Jun 14

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    A sailor met a good looking blonde at the

    bar And was trying to get laid without much success. "I don't date servicemen," she said, "but I am Curious as to why you sailors have those two rows Of buttons on your pants." "Why, that's because we have two dicks," the sailor replied. "Interesting. And probably twice as much...
    hammer963 hammer963 51-55, M Jun 14

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    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    According to a new report,

    a certain private school in Chicago, IL was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12th-grade girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. Applying and wearing the lipstick was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Jan 23

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    LOL...A husband went to the sheriff’s

    department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home. Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 15 Responses Jan 10

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    A young couple decided to wed.

    As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 9 Responses Feb 2

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    I want a guy in my life!

    That wants to love me and take care of me!
    tessalol52 tessalol52 13-15, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Woman Accuses Walmart Clerk Of Overcharging Her

    Then This Happens A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She is not sure which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart clerk standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir…can you tell me anything about...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 19

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    NikkiCOCO NikkiCOCO 16-17, F 2 Responses May 13

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F Jun 11

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    Don't you love it when you pause your show

    and the actors are frozen with a silly expression? Simply funny.
    AmyOnEP AmyOnEP 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 23

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    I am going to lose 13 stones soon with some

    help. wow. Who is helping you? A dietetics? No. A divorce lawyer.
    placeborealis placeborealis 41-45, M a week ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 13

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    Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a

    question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 20 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    My memory's not as sharp

    as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 6 Responses Jun 23

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    "These are small; but the ones out there are

    far away!"Father Ted and Father Dougal discuss the laws of... well optics etc
    yeronlyman yeronlyman 41-45, M 1 Response 3 days ago

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    A pirate walked into a bar.

    "Hello" said the barman, "I haven't seen you in ages! How are you?" "Fine. I be be fine. Thankee" replied the pirate. The barman regarded him carefully. "Are you sure? What's happened to your leg?" "Chain shot" answered the pirate. "Took my leg clean off just below the knee, but...
    treborsniknej treborsniknej 56-60, M Jun 5

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    "in life there are going to be some things

    there's going to make it hard to smile. But what ever you do. through all the rain and pain you got to keep your sense of humor, you got you smile for me now remember this." -Tupac Shakur
    NikkiCOCO NikkiCOCO 16-17<