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I Love to Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 34,030 People

    Why English Teachers Retire Early

    WHY ENGLISH TEACHERS RETIRE EARLY The following similes and metaphors were committed by high school students.    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.   2. His thoughts tumbled in his head...
    RomanticRunner RomanticRunner 46-50, T 17 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 14 Responses Jan 2

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses 6 days ago

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 9 hrs ago

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    Who's responsible for the filthy

    Indian Vikramjit Singh -The Times of India-his piece is not about Shakti Kapoor. My muses tend to be way classier. Like RazaMurad. In the 28 years of my life, I've gone from being a baby to a toddler to a boy to a man who wonders why the `h' is silent in `honest'. I've gone...
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 2 Responses Jan 20

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    LOL...A husband went to the sheriff’s

    department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home. Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 17 Responses Jan 10

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 6 Responses Nov 23, 2014

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    kajun1950 kajun1950 61-65, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Sungirl3 Sungirl3 46-50, F 14 Responses Aug 15, 2013

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    Woman Accuses Walmart Clerk Of Overcharging Her

    Then This Happens A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She is not sure which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart clerk standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir…can you tell me anything about...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 19

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    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus on

    O Connell Street in Limerick City. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, So she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, The man burst out laughing, She...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 3 Responses Dec 6, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses a week ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Nov 6, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 20

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    kajun1950 kajun1950 61-65, M 1 day ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 15 Responses Jan 9

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    kajun1950 kajun1950 61-65, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Yesterday was one of the best days I've had in

    forever. What's funny is I didn't do anything spectacular or out of the ordinary...I guess it was just two people I was talking to that really made me smile and laugh. One of them is my friend from EP and the other my friend's dad (who is like a father figure for me). My cheeks...
    beautifuleyes13 beautifuleyes13 22-25, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 20 Responses Jan 12

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 5 Responses Jan 22

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    NURSERY RHYMES – with a difference Mary had a

    little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard. Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 18 Responses Jan 4

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    FromTheWindow FromTheWindow 22-25, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    thamick thamick 51-55, M 6 days ago

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    LOL..Now you know the whole story.

    .. :P When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life substantially easier. Eve nodded, and...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 17 Responses Jan 18

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    The Talkingest Parrot

    It lasts 5 minutes, but it's worth the time. Just listen to Einstein.
    Serenitree Serenitree 70+, F 4 Responses May 22, 2013

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    Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a

    question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 21 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    HelloPlanetEarth HelloPlanetEarth 31-35, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    A Jewish daughter says to her mother,

    "I'm divorcing Nathan. All he wants is sex, sex and more sex. My vagina is now the size of a 50-cent piece, when it used to be the size of a 5-cent piece." Her mother says ….. "You're married to a multi-millionaire businessman! You live in an 8 bedroom mansion! You drive a $25...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 27 Responses Jan 21

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    According to a new report,

    a certain private school in Chicago, IL was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12th-grade girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. Applying and wearing the lipstick was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 15 Responses a week ago

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 9 hrs ago

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    This is a joke I came across

    that requires a bit of knowledge of recent/common history of science: Heisenberg, Schrodinger and Ohm are in a car. They get pulled over. Heisenberg was driving, so the cop asks him "Do you know how fast you were going?" "No, but I know exactly where I am" Heisenberg...
    Taurusedi Taurusedi 31-35, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Jan 13

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    Louisiana Coon *** Boudreaux woke up one

    morning to find Marie packing her bags. "Where the heck are you going?" demanded Boudreaux. Marie replied, "You know all this free sex I've been giving you all these years? Well I just found out I can get $200 a shot for it out in Las Vegas." With that Boudreaux jumped out...
    kajun1950 kajun1950 61-65, M 1 day ago

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    Well, he asked for it.

    LOLOL ... love the Looney's. Enjoy ;)  
    Sungirl3 Sungirl3 46-50, F 19 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    A boss wondered why one of his most valued

    employees had not phoned in sick one day. Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialled the employee’s cell phone number and was greeted with a child’s whisper. “Hello.” “Is your daddy home?” he asked. “Yes,” whispered the small voice...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 22

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 22

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Jan 5

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 6 Responses 2 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 21

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 20

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    This Woman Was Taking Too Long,

    So The Man Behind Her Decided To Do THIS As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 16

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    Duck Hunters A woman brought a very limp duck

    into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 11

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    How many men does it take to change a toilet

    paper roll? * * * * * Nobody knows, never happened before...........T Blue
    kajun1950 kajun1950 61-65, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 2 Responses Jan 22

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 8 Responses 5 days ago

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    Moses Negotiates the Commandments The Hebrew

    people were sitting around Mt. Sinai. You could hear only a subdued murmur among them, but you could feel the tension in the air. For hours now, Moses had been on top of the mountain, hidden from their gaze by clouds wafting around its top. Sometimes the clouds became dark and...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses 1 day ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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