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I Love to Laugh

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    Why English Teachers Retire Early

    WHY ENGLISH TEACHERS RETIRE EARLY The following similes and metaphors were committed by high school students.    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.   2. His thoughts tumbled in his head...
    RomanticRunner RomanticRunner 46-50, T 17 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    There I was sitting at the bar staring at my

    drink when a large, Tattooed biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, with his fist in my face. As I burst into tears the biker says, "Come on, man," "I didn't think you'd CRY, dude I was just messing...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 10 hrs ago

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    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus on

    O Connell Street in Limerick City. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, So she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, The man burst out laughing, She...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    That moment when you laugh

    so much and you start crying.
    Ofmiceandmeee Ofmiceandmeee 16-17, F Jul 22

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 2

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    LOL...A husband went to the sheriff’s

    department to report that his wife was missing. Husband: My wife is missing. She went shopping yesterday and has not come home. Sergeant: What is her height? Husband: Gee, I’m not sure. A little over five-feet tall. Sergeant: Weight? Husband: Don’t know. Not slim, not...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 15 Responses Jan 10

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    A blonde driving a car became lost in a

    snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 27 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    Yo, EP user loosen up!

    You take it all too serious. It's not like I am joking about your mum. ...not yet anyway
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jul 11

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    its amazing to have friends

    that are funny ^.^
    JamaicanReader JamaicanReader 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food

    for the dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 13 Responses Aug 1, 2014

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    I just went and saw Trainwreck the other night.

    It was hilarious! I love movies, shows, and real life scenarios where I get tickled by a situation and laugh my butt off. What's the old adage? Learn to laugh at your problems because everyone else is.........comedy helps put a smile on everyone's faces and helps lighten the...
    TW8NY TW8NY 41-45, M 1 Response Jul 23

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a

    question if they aren't prepared for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?' She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 19 Responses Nov 1, 2014

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    I like to be happy and make people happy.

    Laughter is good exercise and it lightens the mood. Have you ever laughed so much that your side would hurt? I do on a regular basis. Keep smiling and laughing!
    jjohnnyboy jjohnnyboy 41-45, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Several of these made me laugh this morning.

    The 20 Biggest Plot Holes In World History if They Were Movies 1. That Jesus character was killed off and now he's back? I don't get it. 2. So let me get this straight... These American guys acquire this super-weapon that ultimately ended a massive war in a previous season...
    livelaughlovedream3 livelaughlovedream3 41-45, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Duck Hunters A woman brought a very limp duck

    into a veterinary surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has passed away." The distressed woman wailed...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    LOL..Well, Duh!!! As a trucker stops at a red

    light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load." The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 14 Responses Jan 19

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 1 day ago

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    Well, he asked for it.

    LOLOL ... love the Looney's. Enjoy ;)  
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    What's the funniest message you've ever

    received on this site? I was just messaged this: "You sound married. How long is your hair?" Nearly peed myself! I love EP!
    SavannahAnsley SavannahAnsley 41-45, F 54 Responses Jul 21

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    If someone can make me belly laugh.

    ..I instantly am drawn to them. Being happy is always my goal but, doesn't always happen so it's nice to have ppl to make you laugh.
    Fuzzybear79 Fuzzybear79 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    Woman Accuses Walmart Clerk Of Overcharging Her

    Then This Happens A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She is not sure which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart clerk standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir…can you tell me anything about...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 6 Responses Jan 19

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    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY ( FOR THE AGING LOL ) The

    missus bought a paperback down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag. . . . T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey" Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared, The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope, And in her right...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 21

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    A husband and wife were trying to put a

    password in to their new computer they would both remember. The husband said I have got it & typed in "MYPENIS" Immeadietly his wife fell to the floor gasping and thrashing about in laughter. Dumbfounded the husban looked back upon the computer screen to see this caption...
    1eneman 1eneman 51-55, M 4 Responses 5 days ago

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    I am generally a happy person.

    .. I love to joke around and laugh with friends..:)
    StolenKisses StolenKisses 36-40, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    NikkiCOCO NikkiCOCO 16-17, F 2 Responses May 13

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    This Woman Was Taking Too Long,

    So The Man Behind Her Decided To Do THIS As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 16

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    My memory's not as sharp

    as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 6 Responses Jun 23

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    My mother-in -law is in town

    and she's a fanatical FOX News watcher...it's all that is on our television whenever she comes to visit. This time I took a stand. It was priceless watching her keep trying to view the channel and a dumb look on her face trying to understand why FOX News would be "restricted...
    Bumblelion Bumblelion 31-35, M 10 Responses Apr 17

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    Bubblery Bubblery 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 11

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 8 Responses Jan 13

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    Earthlostangel Earthlostangel 46-50, F 2 days ago

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    It's fashionable to have silver gray hair,

    you don't suppose they looked at us oldsters and said yep I like that look, couldn't be. :)
    ElaineH123 ElaineH123 70+, F 2 Responses Jul 13

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 5

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    Bubblery Bubblery 22-25, F Jul 21

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    LOL..Now you know the whole story.

    .. :P When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life substantially easier. Eve nodded, and...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 13 Responses Jan 18

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    A young couple decided to wed.

    As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 9 Responses Feb 2