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I Love to Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 35,247 People

    Two Blokes and the Barber: Tim Matheson,

    the First Bloke and Tony Abbott somehow ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken. The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics. As the barbers finished...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 3 Responses Apr 14

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    It was a dark night, I could see nothing,

    everything was deathly quiet then I heard him enter the room. He was Shuttle and so gentle, before I knew it he had taken his fill of me and entered me. He left me when he was done. Bloody mosquito
    avachat avachat 51-55, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Why English Teachers Retire Early

    WHY ENGLISH TEACHERS RETIRE EARLY The following similes and metaphors were committed by high school students.    1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.   2. His thoughts tumbled in his head...
    RomanticRunner RomanticRunner 46-50, T 17 Responses Nov 27, 2009

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    I hate Russian dolls.

    .. ...so full of themselves
    HMC17 HMC17 13-15, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 13

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    When someone tells you "damn,

    your short!" (like you don't already know) you should reply with "damn, your dumb!"
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 4 Responses Apr 26

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    WHILE ON A ROAD TRIP,

    AN ELDERLY COUPLE, STOPPED AT A PIZZA HUT FOR LUNCH. AFTER FINISHING THEIR MEAL, THEY LEFT THE RESTAURANT, AND RESUMED THEIR TRIP TO PHOENIX. WHEN LEAVING, THE ELDERLY WOMAN UNKNOWINGLY LEFT HER GLASSES ON THE TABLE, AND SHE DIDN'T MISS THEM UNTIL THEY HAD BEEN DRIVING FOR...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 6 days ago

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 19

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 5

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    There are two types of human beings found on

    Facebook. One who gets an enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men... I hate to say it... But it's true
    HMC17 HMC17 13-15, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    This Woman Was Taking Too Long,

    So The Man Behind Her Decided To Do THIS As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step of the bus. Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 9 Responses Jan 16

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    A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus on

    O Connell Street in Limerick City. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, So she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, The man burst out laughing, She...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Nov 28, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 14 Responses Jan 9

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    I’m great at multitasking.

    I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
    HMC17 HMC17 13-15, M 4 Responses Apr 25

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    Wife Texts Hubby Wife texts husband on a cold

    winters morning: "Windows frozen." Husband texts back: "Pour some lukewarm water over it." Wife texts back 5 minutes later: "Computer really screwed up now."
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 6 Responses Apr 3

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Jan 2

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    Some people are like Slinkies - not really good

    for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you see them tumble down the stairs.
    HMC17 HMC17 13-15, M 2 days ago

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    Dave & Nadine are at the airport in Phoenix,

    awaiting their flight. They are dressed in heavy boots, parka, scarf, mittens, all ready to head home to the Canadian winter. An old American couple standing nearby in shorts are intrigued by their manner of dress. The wife says to her husband, "Look at that couple. I wonder...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 5 Responses Apr 25

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    FIFTY SHADES OF GREY ( FOR THE AGING LOL ) The

    missus bought a paperback down Shepton Mallet way, I had a look inside her bag. . . . T'was "Fifty Shades of Grey" Well I just left her to it, And at ten I went to bed. An hour later she appeared, The sight filled me with dread. In her left hand she held a rope, And in her right...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Feb 21

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    Rectum Stretcher While she was ‘flying’

    down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’ To which she...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 11 Responses Jan 17

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    Here is old age at its best.

    Larry and Bob, two friends, met in the park every day to feed the pigeons, watch the squirrels and discuss world problems. One day Larry didn't show up. Bob didn't think much about it and figured maybe he had a cold or something.. But after Larry hadn't shown up for a week...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 1 Response a week ago

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    A young couple decided to wed.

    As the big day approached, they grew apprehensive. Each had a problem they had never before shared with anyone, not even each other. The Groom-to-be, overcoming his fear, decided to ask his father for advice. "Father," he said, "I am deeply concerned about the success of my...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Feb 2

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    What do you get when you put 50 lawyers

    and 50 lesbians in a room together? 100 people who don't do ****.
    MsInvis MsInvis 46-50, F 7 Responses 5 days ago

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M Apr 19

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    Prepare for trouble Make it double.

    . lolz anyone gonna help me out with the rest?? xD
    Tripp93 Tripp93 18-21, M 6 days ago

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    A blonde driving a car became lost in a

    snowstorm. She didn't panic however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 27 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 19 Responses Jan 12

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    The kind if laughing

    that makes your abs hurt. The silent kind too . You just feel so good after it all .
    Lvictoria101 Lvictoria101 22-25, F 3 Responses 12 hrs ago

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    Gorilla My Dreams -  The best part starts

    when he takes BB for a walk....
    Love2014nb Love2014nb 51-55, F 9 hrs ago

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    A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas

    and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 10 Responses Jan 20

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    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 12 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    LOL..Now you know the whole story.

    .. :P When God created Adam and Eve, He said: I only have two gifts: One is the art of peeing standing ... And then Adam stepped forward and shouted: ME!, ME!, ME!, I would love it please ... Lord, please, please! Look, it will make my life substantially easier. Eve nodded, and...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 16 Responses Jan 18

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    Made a friend on here

    that makes me laugh constantly. Definitely liking it. I'm talking to you "yuri" lol
    YourgirlLeeLee YourgirlLeeLee 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 15

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    Well, he asked for it.

    LOLOL ... love the Looney's. Enjoy ;)  
    deleted deleted 26-30 15 Responses Dec 13, 2014

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 3 Responses Apr 23

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 22

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    NURSERY RHYMES – with a difference Mary had a

    little pig, She kept it fat and plastered; And when the price of pork went up, She shot the little bastard. Mary had a little lamb. Her father shot it dead. Now it goes to school with her, Between two chunks of bread. Jack and Jill went up the hill To have a little fun. Stupid...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 17 Responses Jan 4

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 24

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    Accidentally went grocery shopping on an empty

    stomach and now I'm the proud owner of aisle 7.
    AwesomeAlert AwesomeAlert 46-50, M 11 Responses Mar 28

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    Bahahaha I'm sorry if this offends you

    but I think it's hilarious Enjoy your day lol
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 5 Responses Apr 18

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    Anytime an EP friend starts a story with "Well,

    my husband went over to the Tractor Supply store to pick up a surprise today..." I know that it's going to be a damn good story!
    BBWand40 BBWand40 41-45, F 6 Responses 4 days ago

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    I am exactly like this lol .

    Im considered a joker in my own group of misfits lol
    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M 2 Responses Apr 20

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    HammerD08 HammerD08 31-35, M Apr 23

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    A taxi passenger tapped the driver on the

    shoulder to ask him a question. The driver screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the sidewalk, and stopped centimeters from a shop window. For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, “Look mate, don’t ever do that again. You...
    VanTraveller VanTraveller 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 10

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    Woman Accuses Walmart Clerk Of Overcharging Her

    Then This Happens A lady goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She is not sure which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart clerk standing there with dark shades on. She says, “Excuse me sir…can you tell me anything about...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 7 Responses Jan 19

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    So I'm at Wal-mart buying a bag of dog food

    for the dogs. While in the check-out line, a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog food, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog. "I'm starting the dog food diet again. I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital...
    vickieprince vickieprince 51-55, F 13 Responses Aug 1, 2014