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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 106 People

    Chuck Norris is the only man

    who can get a sandwich from a feminist >_>
    TouchesClouds TouchesClouds 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 26, 2014

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    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 66-70, M 8 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I am always daydreaming about different places and people that are so amazing. I get miss important things in class sometimes... Whoops. I try to focus, but I zone out so bad and...
    Megaleg6 Megaleg6 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 16

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    I love makeup. Period. Life without makeup (for me) is like life without air; just not possible. I love to experiment with my looks, what colors go with what, how pale I can make...
    sunatdawn214 sunatdawn214 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    I've loved makeup for a long time, but never had the chance to go to school for cosmetology. So i sold avon and mary kay and failed miserable....MISERABLY. I slowly became a self...
    youniqueviatia youniqueviatia 31-35, F Apr 5

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    I love makeup too! One time I had a makeup malfunction. I was performing a dance and only had time to apply makeup to one eye.
    heyheynatalie heyheynatalie 18-21, F Apr 7

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    Are there any makeup groups I can join? I'm a nice person honest & I totally love makeup
    mazzaah mazzaah 13-15, F Apr 20

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    Well I love makeup, but today I'm feeling like being myself 😊🙈 I can't believe that I'm posting a free makeup selfie, so don't be too harsh on me 😅
    Mjcabello Mjcabello 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 21

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    I love to talk about sex with women, like a tease, not hoping for something to happen but just to fantasize. it's a turn on and my secret hope is that's the same for the woman I...
    matt769 matt769 31-35, M 1 Response Apr 16

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    Is that your horse? The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, "Who owns the big...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 9

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    The Black Canyon Biker A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response 1 day ago

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    After serving 18 months of a 25-year sentence, a man escaped from prison. His escape was the lead story on the early evening TV news and knowing that there would be a huge search...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response Apr 13

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    I must be an egg cuz all these jokes are cracking me up! ;D
    mclovin31321 mclovin31321 22-25, F Apr 5

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    Clarinet jokes Q: What's the definition of a nerd? A: Someone who has his or her own alto clarinet. Q: Why do clarinetists leave their cases on the dashboard? A: So they...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 6

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    Smart snake breeder There once was a snake breeder who had two snakes he was trying to mate. For the life of him, he couldn't get them within two feet of each other. Frustrated...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Apr 11

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    When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    Love this lol when that guy that hits on you and he complements your butt lol
    bizzaregirl bizzaregirl 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 4

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    Haha I love this. What do u think?
    deleted deleted 26-30 11 Responses Apr 10

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    Here's a tip MM and OW A woman began an affair shortly after celebrating her fifth wedding anniversary. Her best friend asked her how she handled the calls from lover boy on...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 4 Responses Apr 15

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    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey. "But I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 day ago

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    With this new beer league I joined, I'm the "high guy that says random ****, but it's okay because it's funny" which makes me laugh even more because half of the guys have never...
    PuckDrop PuckDrop 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 12

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    I'm not feeling as overwhelmed anymore. Just alot of thoughts. I have the tendancy to analyse and overthink everything. I said that this year felt a bit different. And the year...
    HigherCalling HigherCalling 26-30, F Apr 13

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    OMG my hair stylist who also does makeup told me my make up looked fab! I think I might pass out
    jackiee0924 jackiee0924 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    makeup is one of my best friends
    maemae208 maemae208 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    Recently I've decided I wanted to Persue what I want to do and believe in regardless of how I will be successful- this was like 3 days ago so I honestly have no idea if it will...
    mazzaah mazzaah 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 20

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    Yeeeaaahhh, I love my stuff but I'm quite lazy in the cleaning my face after I've some ideas. -.- I barely practice but there really are a lot of tricks I wanna try! and the...
    abcdefghisabelmnopqrst abcdefghisabelmnopqrst 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 9

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    I'm so in love with macs studio fix liquid foundation. I went through 3 bottles last year. But it's worth it.
    Mixedgoddess Mixedgoddess 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    My passion is for fiction law and crime books, especially J. D. Robb's Death Series. I also like John Sanford's characters Lucas Davenport and Virgil Flowers. If you like humor...
    Danielle1011 Danielle1011 51-55, F 2 Responses Apr 9

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    I fantasize about young celeb girls alot. •_• Anyone want to chat about them?
    TidalMoon TidalMoon 26-30, M 4 days ago

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    I love imagining my own worlds, its awesome
    YoniKollin YoniKollin 13-15, M Apr 6

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    Ponder how deep of talk a lady would like talk about sex
    WyoDoug WyoDoug 46-50, M Apr 22

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    I really love reading books regarding criminal justice system and the. I am degreed in criminal psychology and enjoy the field. I have kept all of my text books and love looking...
    femaleinbackyard femaleinbackyard 31-35, F 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    Look I made a sex tape.......
    Aphrodite1997 Aphrodite1997 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 6

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    My boss chewed my *** out and beat my head off.
    Aphrodite1997 Aphrodite1997 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    A horse walked into a bar, the barman said "Hey" and the horse replied "Sure"
    CalledByTheVoid CalledByTheVoid 46-50, M 4 Responses Apr 7

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