I love wearing makeup and dressing cute nearly everyday. And no I am not insecure, no I am not stuck up, and no I am not shallow. I'm a girl. It's what we do, honey!
I am not embarrassed by sexual topics and I love getting ans giving advice. There is so much we can learn from each other if only we would ask.
Why is it that when I wear makeup, people immediately assumed I've changed? That I'm trying to be someone who I'm not? I'm still me!!! I wear makeup because I think I look good in...
I love getting told how fat I am. message me and help me gain
Do you know how many elephants you can fit into a Volkswagen?
5.. two in the front seat, 2 in the back seat and........
1 in the ash tray:)))
Always remember " You can make a duck walk up the steps but you can't make him hang onto the bannister:)
There was this Hispanic man who did not know English. But he tried to get by with his Spanish language instead. One day he went for help to a store clerk.
A guy and girl had sex poem competition.
Guy: "Two times two is four, four plus five is nine. I can put mine in yours, but you can't put yours in mine."
Girl: "Two times two is...
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."
She removes all her clothing...
She now knows about my surgeries... She said I am a miracle child and said that I am her miracle now. She said those 3 words some dread to hear when the relationships just recently...
A woman married a one legged man.
She wrote to her mother:
?My husband only has ONE FOOT?.
Her Mother replied:
?You are lucky, your papa has ONLY 5 INCHES?
When people ask me why the chicken crossed the road
My answer is: To get away from you.
then I walk away from them lmao
I had a visitor one night. He explored my body. Licked, sucked, swallowed and had his fill. When satisfied he left. I was hurt. Damn mosquito!
Outlaw Life Paranormal Team NM TV & Radio, LLC is seeking Haunted Locations for our Spring 2016 Spirit Research Season.
If you have or know of anything, please PM me and we can...
I wonder at the process that yields information asserting the value of crushed Endangered Rhino Bone as a sexual enhancer, especially in parts of the far east. How does the Royal...
Ever since I was 11 years old I have been having these dreams that I was some chosen one in a world of supernatural creatures there was the evil family who could turn in to bats...
Love seeing how fat my disgusting mess of a pig is growing week by week, making him take pics so he can compare and it really sink into his head that he is so large now that ppl...
Why did Suzy fall off the swing?
Because she didn't have any arms.
Knock, knock (who's there?)
I married a gal who said she didn't believe in sex before marriage. In hindsight, I should have made sure she believed in sex AFTER marriage.
God made the world in 7 days...all the rest...the Chinese :))
i love watching my sister when shes bursting. i smile as she struggles and shifts her weight from side to side. i laugh a little as she holds herself down there.
Q. how does a blonde eat a banana?
A. Blondes don't 'eat' a banana, they swallow.
(No offense dear blondes).
If everything is made in China then who made China?
I love it so much. And I am a makeup collector. I have a giant collection of makeup that I built in 2 years. And I started Project Pan as well. I used up a few eyeshadows, hit pan...
I love makeup! Anything from high end to some drug store brands.
Anyone who is passionate about makeup like myself should message me!
I already posted under this topic tonight saying I opened up to my gf and than slept with her but I cannot seem to call asleep. She is so peacefully sleeping and makes my heart...
My new gf started becoming more stressed, sad, and frustrated with my lack of openness and I felt her in my arms starting to shake about to cry... So opened up... She looked at me...
I need to make myself up a bit so I can look my best on cam :P
Clancy was always getting drunk, and his wife Mary finally had enough. So she asked the doctor to tell Clancy something that would frighten him so he wouldn't get drunk anymore...
A man once had a parrot that swore a blue streak. This parrot screamed every curse word in the book, all day non stop. The man tried everything to shut him up, but nothing worked...
A ********, stark naked, ran out of a bar into the street and was hit by a truck. As she lay knocked out on the pavement, a man in the interest of modesty placed his hat over her...
I would like to give thanks to the brave men and women who died a long time ago tasting which plants were edible and which plants were not. 😔
Why can't you trust stairs?
....because they're always up to something!
Okay call me weird or gay or whatever, but i gotta say, i wish makeup was more socially acceptable for guys. Im not too big on a lot of eye makeup like mascara and eyeliner, but...
The Homeless woman smiled when I asked if I could take her home,
Her smile soon disappeared when I drove away with her cardboard box.
what do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?