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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 108 People

    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 66-70, M 9 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Chuck Norris is the only man

    who can get a sandwich from a feminist >_>
    TouchesClouds TouchesClouds 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 26, 2014

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    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    A little girl asked her mother, “How did the human race begin?” The mother answered, “God made Adam and Eve and they had children, and so all mankind was made.” Two days...
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    So the 3rd grade teacher is talking to the kids about farm animals. She asks the kids: "What does the chicken give us?" One of the kids yells out "Eggs!" Teacher say "Very good...
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    I am finding that it feels safer to dream about it than to have it. Having it is too hard. I never know when I will lose it. Or get hurt. At least I can take a dream out of my...
    CDeFer CDeFer 46-50 2 days ago

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    I love to talk to girls on the phone or over Skype while there desperate to pee after I get to know them a bit. it is such a turn on for me
    masterofyourbladder masterofyourbladder 18-21, M 2 days ago

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    it's not that I consciously love to talk about myself. I just accidentally do it to much.... I dint even realize it till it becomes a problem.
    derealizationofthemind derealizationofthemind 16-17, F 3 days ago

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    So another one of my fantasies is to be with a woman. I've already mentioned this in another story, but I thought I'd share it here. Lol. I don't label myself as straight, lesbian...
    TeraLocura TeraLocura 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Baby Polar Bear: A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I really a polar bear?" "What do you mean the dad asks?" "Well said the the baby, I don't have any Brown...
    tammy96 tammy96 51-55, M 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    What do you call a frog in the secret service?? Infrognito Dad jokes are the best jokes, no lie :)
    sfairy27 sfairy27 13-15, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    so these 3 blondes are discussing what gender they think their baby will be. the first one says "I'm having a girl because i was on top" and the second one says "I'm having a boy...
    ProbablyUncomfortable ProbablyUncomfortable 13-15, T 1 Response 6 days ago

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    On their first night together, a newlywed couple go to change. The new bride comes out of the bathroom showered and wearing a beautiful robe. The proud husband says, "My dear, we...
    cmyk323 cmyk323 36-40, F 12 Responses 6 days ago

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    As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman." She removes all her clothing...
    cmyk323 cmyk323 36-40, F 6 Responses 6 days ago

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    Hmm I still have several fantasies I haven't acted on. Should probably get on it. Lol. There is one fantasy that I probably won't get much of a chance to act on, though. This one...
    TeraLocura TeraLocura 22-25, F 7 Responses 6 days ago

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    this is website is full of jokes love it http://unlimitedshortjokes.weebly.com/
    Kyle178 Kyle178 22-25, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Famous Playboy Hugh Hefner managed to successfully stop an order of monks from operating a business on his property. The police forced the friars to close down their stall, which...
    RememberTomorrow RememberTomorrow 31-35, M a week ago

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    I Think You're The Father of One of My Kids.... A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a very attractive woman waving at him. She says, 'Hello.' He's rather taken aback because...
    tammy96 tammy96 51-55, M 4 Responses Aug 24

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    A teenage boy is getting ready to take his girlfriend to the prom. First he goes to rent a tux, but there’s a long tux line at the shop and it takes forever. Next, he has to get...
    CookieM0nsterr CookieM0nsterr 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    So these two cannibals are trying to decide how to eat the man they came across, the first one says "you start at the feet, I'll start at the head" and they continue on like that...
    ProbablyUncomfortable ProbablyUncomfortable 13-15, T Aug 23

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    To all you peeps looking for amazing chemical free , cruelty free made in USA and all natural products with a love it guarantee let me know! I can help hook you up!
    whatsamomtodo whatsamomtodo 46-50, F Aug 21

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    Who doesn't want to make themselves a more polished u! Make up is our expression. Some people like tatooes or Gage's or hair... We do make up! It's so fun and can be different all...
    whatsamomtodo whatsamomtodo 46-50, F 1 Response Aug 21

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    There are 30 cows and 28 chickens ? How many are left ?????
    12emilio12 12emilio12 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 20

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    When the love of your life tells you not to talk to her for the day when you have noo idea sea what you even did to get her to say that... 😭😭
    CNUSax CNUSax 18-21, M 1 Response Aug 19

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    A colleague came into my office the other day and asked, "can I use your dictaphone?" I said, "No! You can use your finger like everybody else."
    Woody6 Woody6 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 18

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    No one really love or care about me not even my family and I hate my life I have tried to killed myself a lot of time
    lookket lookket 18-21, F 4 Responses Aug 16

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    (Picture attached) I have six sisters (and my mother) whom are all into makeup and cosmetics and they've taught me a lot of tips and tricks! So now, at school, I always get people...
    TheMorticiansDaughter TheMorticiansDaughter 13-15, F 11 Responses Aug 16

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    I was at the Supermarket today for literally 5 minutes, when I came out I saw a cop writing a parking ticket. So I went up to him and said, "Come on man, can't you give a guy a...
    TooShy2 TooShy2 61-65, M 1 Response Aug 16

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    I am a very lucky man. My wonderful girlfriend and I have been dating for over a year, and recently decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me - it's her...
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    Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she...
    C00LDaddy C00LDaddy 41-45, M 6 Responses Aug 15

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    I met a girl but I think she must be a Zero APR Loan... Because I don't really understand her terms and she kept saying she has no interest.
    WripTyde WripTyde 46-50, M 3 Responses Aug 15

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    What is pink and hard? A pig with a flicknife. What's yellow and swings from cake to cake? Tarzipan.
    prudance prudance 51-55, T 2 Responses Aug 14

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    Burglars have broken into the local police station and stole all the toilet seats. Police said that they've nothing to go on. Police reveal that 100 tons of quick drying cement...
    prudance prudance 51-55, T 1 Response Aug 14

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    Just tried to cook an octopus, you have to keep your eye on it though, if you turn your back it will reach out and turn the damn cooker off -.-
    Anth1290 Anth1290 22-25, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    everything has some logic or reason to it and i love to explore the reasons.. #Curiousity
    ShantanuD ShantanuD 26-30, M Aug 14

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    Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband is dead.
    michaeln41 michaeln41 41-45, M 1 Response Aug 14

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    there are 30 cows in a feild. and twenty eight chickens. how many did not?
    TheDiamondMinecart TheDiamondMinecart 26-30, M 10 Responses Aug 14

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    A guy in high school asked the bio teacher,"Hey can I take a picture of you?" Teacher: "What? Why?" Guy: "To prove to my friends that angels exist." :P
    XxLionHeartxX XxLionHeartxX 18-21 2 Responses Aug 13

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    This guy on EP just said "Hi sweaty" to me XD
    PinksTheNewBlack PinksTheNewBlack 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 12

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