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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 85 People

    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 70+, M 6 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    Now of course I don't make jokes deliberately aimed at a particular person. These are jokes about society or life in all it's glory. Anyone that's alive has at least a small share...
    dontcareforlabels dontcareforlabels 41-45, M Sep 24

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    I love makeup! I have so much and for some reason am always buying more is that bad? I literally have too much and all I ever wear is foundation bronzer eyeliner and mascara I...
    Elibabe303 Elibabe303 18-21, F Oct 8

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    Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.. Why was the Cyclops a good teacher? cause he only had one pupil.. OMG Cheesy Jokes are my life they always put a smile...
    chialuvgirl chialuvgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 13

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    A guy walking down the street stops a fellow pedestrian and says "Sssscuse mm me mate. Ha ha have you ggggot the tttime o o o on you m m mate?" The pedestrian remains silent. "S s...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Sep 25

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    Q.how do you make seven an even number? A.take the s out!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 26

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    A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all die. In order to get into heaven though, they must go up 100 steps, each containing a joke. The trick is that they must not laugh. The...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    They aren't funny! Nothing about Ebola is funny!! KNOCK IT THE HELL OFF!
    Codycope17 Codycope17 16-17, M 3 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    Bumper sticker: Honk if you love Jesus Text if you want to meet Him
    shadowplt shadowplt 46-50, M Sep 28

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    Everything , that happen from past to current is in my mind , because i wonder what if that will happen today or when will it happen , or is it going to happen again !
    AliseaBerry69 AliseaBerry69 18-21, F Sep 27

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    My mind is stupid it over thinks everything it has been the reason I haven't been able to do many things. I over think it. Like what's going to happen, how are people going to...
    ScarM3 ScarM3 16-17, F Oct 2

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    T-Requess, I know you're going through so really hard stuff right now, and I know you'll hear this from lots of people. But I'm here for you. I always have been and I always will...
    NobodyCaresOkai NobodyCaresOkai 13-15, F Oct 5

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    Yes, I think I need to be more positive. Nothing really has changed over the years. Still in an "intimacy free" marriage. I'm working hard to be happy anyway. Looking at the...
    ExistsinHOPE ExistsinHOPE 51-55, F Oct 12

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    I know a lot of people look down on girls or women who wear makeup,saying it's "fake" and in some terms I agree.even though I use makeup in a way to express myself.Feeling sad? A...
    Imkenzie1010 Imkenzie1010 16-17, F 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    My makeover the other day. Cheers to fellow makeup lovers.
    eric2maid eric2maid 31-35, M 5 Responses Sep 28

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    A little mistakes here and there, but s subtle look! With earth tone colors and a red lips. I was in a hurry but I love doing my make up (:
    Pawes Pawes 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Before and after make-up! Make up helps out a lot (:
    Pawes Pawes 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Any one every try lime crime make up?
    oorahwifey oorahwifey 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 6

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    I'm starting to use some makeup, what's the first base to use? and any good primer to use? I have dry and sensitive skin.
    fruities fruities 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 12

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    What makeup should I ask for for self portraits?
    michellerocks michellerocks 16-17, F a week ago

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    I'm soo in love w the new MAC Matte Collection. Living Legend is the perfect Fall Vampy lip color <3
    atadas12 atadas12 18-21, F 4 days ago

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    I have read several books about law/crime, and I absolutely love them all! It's always been a fascination of mine, I don't really remember how I even got into such books but I'll...
    DrKittyNinjaBunny DrKittyNinjaBunny 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    Q: what do you call a sleeping bull? A: a bull-dozer
    Gettingout72 Gettingout72 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    Q: why was the mother flea so unhappy? A: all her children have gone to the dog.
    Gettingout72 Gettingout72 41-45, F 1 Response Sep 24

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    'I see' said the blind man to the deaf man listening to the radio..
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F Sep 26

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    Deepika Padukone-I have more fans than you.Aaliya Bhatt-I have A .C. at home .
    restored87 restored87 46-50, F 3 Responses Sep 26

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    At the construction job There's this cathedral that's still being worked on, and the workers have rigged a "cage elevator" inside so they can get material up and down to the upper...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 28

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    Ouch! A young blonde woman went to her doctor complaining of pain. "Where are you hurting?" asked the doctor."You have to help me, I hurt all over", said the woman. "What do...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 29

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    A couple walks on the beach and the seagull flies over and craps on the ladies shoulder.. Mortified the guy says.. ' let me run inside to get a towel' and the lady replies ' Don't...
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 30

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    A guy comes home stone drunk and standing by his bedroom door he says .. ' The next time this bed comes around, I'm on it.'
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F Sep 30

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    After an accident the patient wakes up at hospital and looking up at the nurse in sheer horror exclaims, 'I can't feel my legs, I can't feel my legs' and the nurse looks down at...
    Lee124 Lee124 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 30

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    Old lady goes to a dentist; sits down, drops panties, and lifts legs. He says, "I'm not a gynecologist!" She says, "I know, I need my husband's teeth back!"
    Crazychick123456 Crazychick123456 16-17, F 4 Responses Oct 1

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    Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight nine!!!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Oct 4

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    What's red and smells like blue paint? Red paint
    wildcherry3393 wildcherry3393 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    If I flip a coin, what's the chances of me getting head?
    Adam352 Adam352 18-21, M 2 Responses Oct 10

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    How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in your fridge? You can see its body sticking out.
    SeaSalt38 SeaSalt38 13-15, F 4 days ago

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    I'm a writer... this is what I do.
    MyDaddysSpecialGirl MyDaddysSpecialGirl 18-21, F 1 Response 46 mins ago

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    Cogitation is not good for the soul that's for sure!!
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Oct 3

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    Kath. Do you remember all those late nights after sh!++y days! Sat doing the rotten paperwork! Glad that it had finally gone quiet? How we'd laugh at some of the incidents that...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M Oct 5

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    I don't know what to say........
    nealbrute nealbrute 22-25, F 3 Responses 5 days ago

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    Except pictures of me (shudders at thought) ^^
    chrissnxs chrissnxs 18-21, M Oct 11

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    Am I weird for only loving lipstick and not lipgloss maybe I haven't found the right brand and/or color but every lipgloss looks so damn shinny.
    Janasai Janasai 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 26

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    I like this colour lipstick, pretty yet dramatic.
    Shannongirlyboy Shannongirlyboy 46-50, T 1 Response Sep 26

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    I think this eyeshadow is really pretty.
    Shannongirlyboy Shannongirlyboy 46-50, T 3 Responses Sep 27

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    When I was around 10, our family dog would stare at my closet and growl. It concerned me and when Dad looked, there was nothing there despite the ongoing growling. This went on for...
    deafkelly deafkelly 36-40, F 1 Response Oct 1