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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 107 People

    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 70+, M 8 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Chuck Norris is the only man

    who can get a sandwich from a feminist >_>
    TouchesClouds TouchesClouds 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 26, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I've got a lot of jokes about unemployed people... but they never work :/ ;)
    cnk2015 cnk2015 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    Every ache or pain I get or if I feel ill I immediately think the worst and that it is something incredibly serious and life threatening. It is ruining my life! :( I know I worry...
    L4UR3N L4UR3N 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 6

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    I love makeup to death. I don't wear it because I have blemishes to hide or only look good with it on, I wear it because it makes me feel good to express my self with the different...
    xliah xliah 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    any one else that is into fashion and makeup? i love love love makeup! What are your favorite makeup brands? Nars? MAC? Shiseido? Lancome?
    chunkyislandgirl54 chunkyislandgirl54 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 12

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    A little old lady is on a bus, buying a ticket from the bus conductor. She fumbles in a voluminous bag for the correct change. After 15 minutes the conductor becomes so enraged...
    Charmer3 Charmer3 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 13

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    The weird kind of humour that comes from unfunny jokes. They only appeal to a very specific type of person, everyone else will just stare at you as if you're an idiot, roll their...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F Jan 18

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    Stupid jokes can have me laughing all day lol.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 31, 2014

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    Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jan 14

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    The Interview A blonde goes for a job interview in an office. The interviewer decides to start with the basics. 'So, Miss, can you tell us your age, please?' The blonde counts...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Jan 9

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    I was thinking about being an investment banker. But then I lost interest.
    NarakunoHana NarakunoHana 26-30, F Jan 3

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    Kid joke alert: What did the complementary biscuit say to the tea? You're lovely
    Sconstan Sconstan 26-30, F Jan 13

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    I just think that what could possibly make it worse. Loneliness has already settled into my heart and love doesn't exist but I won't seek pity from within I'll drive harder and...
    internallybroken internallybroken 16-17, M 3 days ago

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    I am 46 yr old mom to a 5 yr old son. PRECIOUS to me. We live in a rural area of VA. We are going through a real rough time lately. My oldest are 22 & 26. Both too far away to...
    Geeza2015 Geeza2015 46-50, F Jan 18

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    If Who you once were in the past bothers you and straps you down..stop it!!! Even if it was a great past and it is no more...stop pondering and move on!!! Find the balance that...
    NotVibrant NotVibrant 31-35, F Jan 1

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    Everything I do has to be perfect, I think I have ocd!
    Ravanellii Ravanellii 31-35, M Dec 29, 2014

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    Every so often I meet someone that has led a life of caring for someone they married that became sick or paralyzed early in their marriage. I commend them for stay in that...
    AfanOfbigNaturals AfanOfbigNaturals 41-45, M 2 Responses Jan 1

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    Everything .... I hate it!! It seems like I can't be happy with myself and achievements because of it ... Damn . The **** sucks. I wish I could be one of these people who didn't...
    Sanonymous1 Sanonymous1 31-35, M Jan 4

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    I have a tendency to look at things from both a scientific and a spiritual perspective. The scientist in me wants to dig deep into the details of everything. The spiritual side of...
    Nixie1291 Nixie1291 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    You said write me a love letter... I spread you eagle across my desk... As my tongue became the pen.
    Insan3lyGifted Insan3lyGifted 46-50, M Dec 28, 2014

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    Get up against the wall... I'm about to do Dirty things to You
    Insan3lyGifted Insan3lyGifted 46-50, M 1 Response Dec 30, 2014

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    Hey guys So I'm four weeks into the Australian six week holidays (finally) and something just struck me the other day. A lot can happen in six weeks. Like, what if someone dies. I...
    Greenvines123 Greenvines123 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    Makeup fail of the day: I was getting ready for church and doing my makeup in my bathroom and my mascara brush falls into the toilet. So much for that! Haha, thankfully I had...
    lizygurl lizygurl 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 18

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    I don't go out without makeup , not because I'm trying to get attention or be a fake person , I just don't feel comfortable without it on , I feel a lot happier when I have makeup...
    abby816 abby816 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 2

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    I think I love shopping for makeup and buying way more than I like to actually wear it. I typically go out on any given day with just Carmex on or I'll throw on mascara and a cute...
    curvydavi curvydavi 16-17, F Jan 4

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    people say I own too much makeup, who cares. makeup is Bae <3
    Wond3rLust Wond3rLust 16-17, F 1 Response Jan 4

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    hey everyone! i just wanted to come on here to say i have a makeup/beauty channel on youtube and if anyone would like to ask me questions or comment on what my next video should...
    sophiaxxx6 sophiaxxx6 18-21, F Dec 29, 2014

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    I just recently purchased the urban decay naked pallet 3 and it makes me happyyy😊
    buttonsandbowsx buttonsandbowsx 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 3

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    I wear makeup for myself not for others
    buttonsandbowsx buttonsandbowsx 13-15, F Jan 4

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    can't wait to just buy loads more makeup
    buttonsandbowsx buttonsandbowsx 13-15, F Jan 8

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     But a friend at work convinced me to go foundation free on Fridays and Tuesday. Today is my first day without my Mac ( i still have eye-makeup and lipstick on)...And it feels...
    TinkerFae TinkerFae 22-25, F Jan 9

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    If your a girl of beauty then your a girl of makeup. WOOT WOOT!
    PurpleLove18 PurpleLove18 16-17, F a week ago

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    So Cute!! Just brought new makeup from the store! But I brought the wrong foundation color. I'll return it later when I go back to the store.
    Directioner70 Directioner70 16-17, F 4 days ago

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    This girl I follow on Instagram, @punchingpictures, is absolutely amazing and provides endless inspiration. This is the first time I have tried to recreate one of her looks though...
    FIeener FIeener 26-30, F 5 Responses Jan 15

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    I love chatting and sharing my fantasies with women who are not afraid to express themselves. I am straight and have straight fantasies about women
    i81b4u i81b4u 36-40 2 days ago

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    I have many fantasies. Some are innocent, some are dreams I have for myself and the future. Some are about specific people, and some are down right disturbing. I never share them...
    SuperMagicMuffin SuperMagicMuffin 22-25, F 3 Responses Jan 14

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    So... What do you call artificial pasta? .... An IMPASTA! AHAHAHAHAH *drum*
    marebare303 marebare303 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    what do u call a bear with no teeth? a gummy bear...
    Cannon31 Cannon31 31-35, M Dec 30, 2014

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    I live in Montreal, and for that reason my children have never been to a beach before. On our first family trip down South we decided one of the first things we were going to do...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 30, 2014

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    On which side of a horse grows the most hair? (The answer really is a single side. I'll give the answer after a couple of guesses.)
    Gentle153 Gentle153 26-30, M 1 Response Jan 1

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    My friend told me this joke was the only one laughing lol Why did the elephants get kicked out of the public pool? THEY KEPT DROPPING THEIR TRUNKS!
    brenda4696 brenda4696 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 2

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    ~~Another day in the Liverpool team~~ Simon Mignolet: "We're **** at the back! We're **** at the back!" Mario Balotelli: "No one cares! We're on the attack!"
    ThisIsNickers ThisIsNickers 16-17, M Jan 2

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    Me: hey let's play a game I say A you say B and so on Me: A You; B Me:C You: D Me: E You: F Me: U! Lol
    AloneGirl13 AloneGirl13 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 3