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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 107 People

    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 66-70, M 8 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    Chuck Norris is the only man

    who can get a sandwich from a feminist >_>
    TouchesClouds TouchesClouds 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 26, 2014

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    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    I love makeup! I'm one of those people that believes makeup doesn't cover up natural beauty-- but enhances it. Any makeup lovers, please message me to discuss makeup techniques...
    muckwitch muckwitch 18-21, F 5 Responses May 5

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    I truly love makeup. My face is a canvas and I can do whatever I want with it. Pink lipsticks are my weakness. I think makeup just enhances your beauty. Wish I could afford the...
    kristen1993 kristen1993 22-25, F 5 Responses May 9

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    My boyfriend's new favorite TV show is labeled as "comedy" but most of the jokes fall completely flat. However, some of them are actually pretty funny: Girl 1: If I go into that...
    TGBman TGBman 22-25, M a week ago

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    In downtown Roanoke, at a crowded bus stop, an attractive girl was waiting for a bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 2 days ago

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    The Black Canyon Biker A man decided that he was going to ride a 10-speed bike from Phoenix to Flagstaff. He got as far as Black Canyon City before the mountains just became too...
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    A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    A redneck family from outside Little Rock was visiting a city in the North and they were in a mall for the first time in their lives. The father and son decided to stroll around...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2

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    In a lost village a guy with a 25 inches D*** wants to make it shorter so he goes to see the elder of his village. the elder tells him to go to the forest where he will find a...
    Mindlha Mindlha 22-25, M May 7

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    Two peanuts walk into a bar, one was a salted. I was a banker, but I lost interest. I had a job crushing cans, it was soda pressing.. How do you make holy water? You boiler...
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F 1 Response May 11

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    Murphy showed up at Mass one Sunday and the priest almost fell down when he saw him. Murphy had never been seen in church in his life. After Mass, the priest caught up with Murphy...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 1 Response a week ago

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    Why do fish like saltwater? Because pepper makes them sneeze xD
    orsoliz orsoliz 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    When George Washington was crossing the Delaware River with his troops, there were 33 (remember this number) in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and storming furiously and...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    My ex, Cole, is always being a jerk to me after he broke up with me. I didn't do anything about it and still haven't. He has spread rumors about me, lied to me, called me terrible...
    Linus28 Linus28 13-15, F 2 Responses May 6

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    Did you hear about the two peanuts walking the street late at night? One of them was assaulted.
    Luckranger71 Luckranger71 41-45, M May 13

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    Q: Did you hear about the blonde who stood in front of a mirror with her eyes closed? A: She wanted to see what she looked like asleep.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses 18 hrs ago

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    A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey. "But I just haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 1 Response May 2

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    A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged, balding man standing at the counter methodically placing "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over...
    zydeko zydeko 18-21 May 2

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    On his wedding night the groom confesses to his lovely bride. "Honey I have to tell you that you just married a golf addict." His new wife looks up and says, "We now that we are...
    showstar showstar 66-70, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    Makeup is one of my favorite things too buy at first I had to do all this mixing and blending to find my shade it was a real bummer ... But I found this makeup for brown girls...
    Prettibrowngirl Prettibrowngirl 70+, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I just can't help myself, I'll devour everything in sight, be so stuffed I can't move and still want more! Go ahead and tell me how much of an obese greddy pig I am (swearing...
    FangBang FangBang 22-25, F 2 Responses May 10

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    I went for a ride on my motorbike when I felt I needed to pee. I didn't think much of it, because I can hold for a long time. I just had so much to drink and I started to feel...
    Rwnns Rwnns 22-25, F 2 Responses May 13

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    I love the epic, 'Jerusalem Delivered'. But in my country this work was not translated, so I'm learning english and translate this everyday. When will i could read this all?
    mkrr mkrr 22-25, F 1 Response May 16

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    **** the natural look Idc what ppl think and I definitely don't care about what guys think If I like heavy makeup then I'll wear it
    MyaA13 MyaA13 13-15, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I think people tend to despise makeup more nowadays... Not sure why. As a women I have the right to do what ever I want to make myself feel beautiful & frankly makeup does that for...
    AristoLozan AristoLozan 18-21, F 3 Responses May 9

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    I wear makeup nearly every single day , except for those few days where I might feel sick or can't be bothered aha. The makeup I wear is relatively heavy , i wear it because I like...
    abby816 abby816 22-25, F 2 Responses May 16

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    I think that I most enjoy testing out different eye shadows and eyeliners; I always love to see how they interact with my eye color. :) I tend to wear a decent amount of makeup...
    ginaramone ginaramone 18-21, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    OMG my hair stylist who also does makeup told me my make up looked fab! I think I might pass out
    jackiee0924 jackiee0924 18-21, F 1 Response May 2

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    I went and bought some new makeup & makeup brushes today, I cannot wait to try them out!! :D
    kristen1993 kristen1993 22-25, F 3 Responses May 10

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    "Girls wear makeup to impress men." Lol you think I have all three Naked palettes to impress someone who can't tell Half Baked from Chopper? If you think girls wear makeup to...
    MikaylaRaquel MikaylaRaquel 22-25, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    I am a Younique presenter, the original 3D fiber lashes are our number one seller they make lashes 300x fuller! We also carry a line of skincare products and mineral makeup! A...
    Ohmylashes Ohmylashes 31-35, F 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Putting on makeup is such a spiritual experience tbh, I can see myself going from maybe, 3.5 to a solid 5 in front of my mirror. It's great.
    Bflyboo14 Bflyboo14 13-15, F May 13

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    I keep it pretty natural around my eyes and go bolder on my lips. Every once in a while I'll go full blown beat to the gods but I don't like all the makeup on sometimes. I feel...
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    i love the anastasia lipstains and my sephora collection 2k14 ? i cant wait to get this yrs collection
    kandiikisses248 kandiikisses248 18-21, F 1 Response May 13

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    my life as a whole has been crazy. I've been used by everyone. I've bent over backwards for everyone... and I still do it. my mother was a lady of the night, which is how I came...
    mrbossmanonthehill mrbossmanonthehill 31-35, M 1 Response May 17

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    I fantasize about young celeb girls alot. •_• Anyone want to chat about them?
    TidalMoon TidalMoon 26-30, M Apr 30

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    I really love reading books regarding criminal justice system and the. I am degreed in criminal psychology and enjoy the field. I have kept all of my text books and love looking...
    femaleinbackyard femaleinbackyard 31-35, F 3 Responses May 1