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I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 106 People

    Funny Story

    T he other day my friend was singing the song "Do you know the muffin man the muffin man, do you know the muffin man, who lives on drooly lane!" I felt upset by his singing, so he asks what's wrong. So I go to tell him what happened to me last night. I have been...
    Dust329 Dust329 16-17, M 1 Response Sep 6, 2009

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    I Love to Make Jokes About Everything

    When I was 49 years old I fell off the roof of a three story building breaking 15 bones and had little chance to live but in my pain and agony I made jokes about it and about dying because I figured if I was going to die I was going out laughing. I was wheelchair bound for over a...
    le7m2d6 le7m2d6 70+, M 8 Responses Mar 2, 2007

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    Chuck Norris is the only man

    who can get a sandwich from a feminist >_>
    TouchesClouds TouchesClouds 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 26

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    Some People Say I'm Funny

    But, I feel I need to learn timing and other things that complete a comedian.  Maybe comic school would help?
    moxiesurvivor moxiesurvivor 66-70, F 2 Responses Jun 7, 2007

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    Related Experiences

    Having been laughed at BC people think I have Ebola I don't want to hear it again and who ever does say jokes about it... Then I hope you get Ebola
    jopage45wassup jopage45wassup 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 21

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    Isn't that what everything's there for? lol The greatest frustration is longing for answers you know you can never have. I was wondering about some mundane thing last night, just...
    justNIK justNIK 41-45, F Nov 20

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    First: There may be writing mistakes, so don't judge pls :( It began in April 2014, nothing special, thats what i thought. A good friend of mine was celebrating her birthday in...
    chrysantheme chrysantheme 16-17, F Dec 4

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    Lol I absolutely love makeup especially being creative eye shadow blush foundation eyeliner lip gloss lip stick lip stain ect love it all. Lol my first experience when I was a...
    SexyLexie88 SexyLexie88 26-30, T 1 Response Nov 18

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    I love makeup. I feel as if it's the only way I can actually express myself artistically. I'm not very good with drawing, painting, or sculpting, but hand me a makeup brush and I'm...
    missjana missjana 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 8

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    Someone please spam me with laugh out loud jokes! In that kind of mood 😂
    kittyAloha kittyAloha 18-21, F 7 Responses Nov 26

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    Some guy at the bar turns to his friend and says: you are getting really fat!! His epic reply: yeah it's because every time I sleep with your wife she makes me a sandwich...
    wannahelpyou81 wannahelpyou81 31-35, M 3 Responses Nov 26

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    Why didn't the toilet paper roll make it across the street? Because it got stuck in a crack!
    Oreolover27 Oreolover27 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    Want to hear a pizza joke…. nah, it’s too cheesy. What about a construction joke? Oh never mind, I’m still working on that one. Did you hear the one about the...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 7

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    How do you make a handkerchief dance?
    u4yah u4yah 36-40, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    I love hearing about it, reading about it, writing about it. Sex and everything about sex is amazing. It makes me wet just thinking about it. I'm a sex addict, I can never get...
    YoungForeverr YoungForeverr 22-25, F Nov 19

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    I was in church and the preast was giving a sermon about alcohol how bad it is for you .and to prove it he put a worm in a glass of water and one in to a glass of whiskey after a...
    robo57 robo57 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 6

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    I have a bumper sticker that says, "honk if you think I'm sexy"... Now, I just sit at green lights until I feel good about myself.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 7

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    my 4 year old came up with this one ... why did Darth Vader cross the road?? to get to the dark side lol i love it!
    mamaberry27 mamaberry27 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 4

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    I am usually very shy, reserved, "cold", and "dry" when I'm around others that I'm not too comfortable or familiar with. Or even with some people I know, I tend to hold back my...
    sweetfreespirit sweetfreespirit 31-35, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    One of the things that I love about my love is that he knew how to make me laugh and making me happy.
    roselani2005 roselani2005 26-30, F Nov 21

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    So I tried using more make up than usual today and I sadly love it! I feel like taking if off made me more self conscious and I feel like that's exactly what make up does. Makes...
    Lovelaurenx3 Lovelaurenx3 18-21, F 4 Responses Dec 3

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    *My mom is really good with makeup. The picture attached here is her work of Smokey Eyes.* Makeup is something I wear only on special occasions, but I do love it nonetheless. I...
    PassionateIndifference PassionateIndifference 13-15, F 2 Responses Dec 6

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    There is just something so absolutely so delicious about trying new looks. Every time I pop open my kit and let the brushes do the work I gain a little more pep in my step.
    Sparrowlynn03 Sparrowlynn03 26-30, F 2 Responses Nov 19

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    I'm struggling with one right now. I am out on my way shopping and the bus is stuck in traffic and its raining anyone want to make me struggle more? ;)
    Justbeingmeok Justbeingmeok 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 28

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    I feel comfortable without make-up, but I love putting make up for so many other reasons! It's the beauty of being a girl
    Pawes Pawes 22-25, F 17 hrs ago

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    I don't like to let on about this fantasy because the idea of it always seems to frustrate any boyfriend I've had. I often have this thing about wanting to feel like an escort...
    nikkikisskiss nikkikisskiss 22-25, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    I love reading dirty messages but can't ever write them
    ngardner621 ngardner621 22-25, F Nov 23

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    So many people today are side stepping the "Sexual Taboo's" in life.. We should be a more open society in communication about topics. :)
    pegasus12162 pegasus12162 51-55, M Dec 3

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    Just uhhhhh just gunna go now.... Yep
    TheAnonymousTroll TheAnonymousTroll 13-15, M Nov 22

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    What did the Pacific Ocean say to the Arctic Ocean?
    kitkat1000 kitkat1000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25

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    Ok this is great what did the narwall say to the girls on the nude beach
    con7399 con7399 13-15, M 1 Response Nov 26

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    Lady: Im s3xually harassed at office! Friend: What happened? Lady: A Man keeps saying your hair smells nice. Friend: So whats wrong in that? Lady: He’s only 3 feet tall!! Lolz.
    Dickuu Dickuu 26-30, M Nov 26

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    Student: "is it ever ok to get in trouble for something u didn't do?" Teacher: "no, its not okay" Student: "okay, I didn't do my homework"
    ThatOneBlackGurl ThatOneBlackGurl 18-21, F Nov 29

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    What is a mouses weapon of choice? Sharp Cheddar!!!
    DrakeoMagister DrakeoMagister 16-17, M Nov 29

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    I went to the bar tonight and ended up piercing a girl's nipple for her. I'm really bad at darts.
    Saylowman Saylowman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 2

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    How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it!
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 3

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    I tried to catch some fog. I mist
    msilver msilver 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 3

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    My baby sister told me this one. You want to hear a farm joke !?!? Never mind, it corny.
    RedMeansGo RedMeansGo 16-17, F Dec 4

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    What's brown and sticky? A stick.
    DrunkGiraffe DrunkGiraffe 26-30, M 4 Responses Dec 4

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    2 muffins are baking in the oven. the first one says "wow it's really getting hot in here" the second one says "I can't believe it a talking muffin!"
    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M Dec 4

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    what is blue and smells like red paint?
    SmilingInTheRain SmilingInTheRain 41-45, M 2 Responses Dec 5

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    what looks and smells JUST like a half an apple? a half an apple
    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 1 Response Dec 6

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    don't be one just eat one? one what? A chicken lolol
    dksl14 dksl14 18-21, M 2 Responses Dec 6

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    Star Wars factoid: Back in college, he worked in the Imperial Pub, and was known as Darth Waiter.
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Dec 7

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    Q: How does a blonde try to kill a worm? A: Bury it alive!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Dec 9

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    what do you call a cow with an attitude?
    sissybecks sissybecks 41-45, M 3 Responses 6 days ago