I Love to Tell Jokes and Laugh

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 199 People

    This guy says i just want honesty

    and people to tell me the truth so his mate turns round and say in that case honestly i think your ***** o and your flies are undone
    CandiceMarieAllcoxx CandiceMarieAllcoxx
    22-25, T
    May 27, 2015

    This man walk in to bar

    and asks for a gin and a tonic the bartender pours one glass of gin and tonic the guy say no i asked for a gin and a tonic the bartender say thats what i gave you the man says let me explain i suffer from multiple personalty syndrome i want a glass off gin he wants a glass of...
    CandiceMarieAllcoxx CandiceMarieAllcoxx
    22-25, T
    1 Response Jul 16, 2015

    An Oldie...

    One day a little girl and little boy were playing together outside the girl's home. As children sometimes will, they became curious about each others' bodies and undressed. Upon seeing the little girl, the boy began to taunt, "ha-ha, I have one and you don't." The little girl...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Aug 18, 2010

    Send No Flowers

    One day I was reading an obituary and I thought of my self it says: " Since the deceased is allergic to flowers, please send no flowers"
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Nov 20, 2012

    A blonde who had been unemployed

    for several months got a job with Public Works. She was to paint lines down the center of a rural road. The supervisor told her that she was on probation and that she must stay at or above the set average of 2 miles per day to remain employed. The blonde agreed to the...
    zydeko zydeko
    18-21
    May 2, 2015

    Puns

    1. A girl tried to explain to her friend, that a bunch of guys came over, *********** and ejected s*men all over her walls, and the girl goes "Wait, wait who came?" 2. A stoner is having sex with his girlfriend, while smoking weed and his mom walks into his room and...
    Dust329 Dust329
    16-17, M
    Sep 3, 2009

    Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math

    problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Oct 3, 2015

    A couple are walking in the park

    as they sit down the man says owwwwwwwwwwww jesus i just say on bastard thorn his wife replays Haha good now you know what it feels like to get a tiny lil ***** in your ***
    CandiceMarieAllcoxx CandiceMarieAllcoxx
    22-25, T
    Jul 16, 2015

    sardar told his servant: go,

    water d plants. servant: but it's already raining. sardar: so what...take umbrella and go...  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Man takes his seat at a Fifa world cup final. He looks to his left & notices that there is a spare seat between himself...
    esteem29 esteem29
    31-35, M
    Apr 14, 2014

    I believe that everyone needs a good laughter

    in their life! If you need a laugh I'm here😏btw I love black ppl nt to be racist or anything but their just flipping amazing
    Maddy04 Maddy04
    16-17, F
    Mar 2, 2014

    A surgeon, an internist,

    and a pathologist are duck hunting. The first duck flies out of the brush, and the surgeon takes aim and says to himself "it looks like a duck. It flies like duck. Must be a duck", and quickly shoots it. The next duck flies out of the brush, and the internist takes aim and...
    hisdudeness3 hisdudeness3
    31-35, M
    Jun 16, 2015

    Do you know why a chicken coop only has 2 doors?

    Because if it had 4 doors it would be a sedan
    avgjoe71 avgjoe71
    41-45, M
    Jul 10, 2015
    tadmore254 tadmore254
    51-55, F
    Oct 15, 2015

    When someone try's to hook up with you

    but their ugly AF. Lol.
    Amaelin Amaelin
    26-30
    Jun 3, 2015

    Well This Is Not a Joke

    But it made me laugh!   http://xkcd.com/626/
    Th3D0ct0r Th3D0ct0r
    26-30
    Aug 21, 2009
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