I don't even know where or how to start. I have been with this man for 12 years. in the being he was one of the nicest, caring person that you could find. In the 2nd year of our relationship he starting to travel for work purpose and would spend 8-9 months out of a year in the USA working on a work programme, at that time we considered it a way to make ends meet and achieve our goal..everything was ok up to 3 years ago when I had my son. His mother is very involved in his life and we had some disagreement while i was pregnant becuase it seems my pregnancy was more about her than me, of course he sided with his mother. since then our relationship has gone down hill.
when he came home last year he had little to know sexual interest, of course we had some major disagreements over the phone while he was away, again his mother was involved. I ask him if he was involved with anyone, he said no and that he is tired from working, and of course we are always arguing..well throughout his stay here we had agreements and it got physical initiated by me( i must admit, i was just frustrated, which is no excuse) he retaliated. anyway he went back to work and again we had our disagreements.
when he first starting working in 2001-2002..he would call me constantly and if i called him he would take the time to speak to me even if he was busy..for the last 2 years..he as become busier and will answer the phone to tell me he is busy or ask me what i wanted.
i was really feeling low a week and a half ago and i just wanting to talk to him..when he answered the phone it was to ask me what i wanted. I had been calling him for several minutes without him answering so i told him an explicit and hang up. I did not call him for a couple of days. he called and i did not take the call and then when he called back and got through to me, i told that our son was sleeping because i know that who he he wanted to talk to. so after 1 week of not calling him, i started to miss him and i sent him a text indicating that i miss him. he did not respond, i called and he did not answer his phone. when i finally got through to him he indicated that he cannot be bothered by problems.. and that his job is one of the source of his problem and that i am the other. I ask him why i was a problem since we hardly spoke and i hardly call him. he start complaining about things that needed to be done around the house, like mowing the grass etc..we had a disagreement prior about who should do it. he got someone, the person did not do the job properly and i decided not to use him again.
he said some nasty thing and i asked if he did not care that he was hurting my feeling and he indicated that he did not and that i did not care if i hurt him. I tried talking to him and basically he indicated that he is not really interested and that he owed me no obligations.. he continues to call our son during the day when i am at work and my son is with the helper.
it hurts to know that after dedicating 12 years of my life to this individual that he can be behaving this way. I feel that he is involved with someone else but he is not telling me and his coming up with little excuses so we can have arguments and I can get frustrated and end the relationship. I Have a 3 year old son that i have to think about. who i want to have a relationship with his father.
because of the lack of attention from him, i feel so unattractive, since giving birth my body is not what it use to be. have now have stretch marks and my belly has been stretched from giving birth, i also feel that i am not providing the same amount of sexual satisfaction to him that i did prior to having a child. i am so depressed i feel as if it over, he refuses to discuss the matter and even to resolve it by stating his intention, he said i should do want i want to do. i have been crying for days now. how could someone who said he loved me be so cruel.
i feel like my world is falling apart, i feel lousy for not being attractive enough to keep him interested and i know everyone is going to say that the pain will pass but how do i continue in this pain..we are at an impasse..what do i do?