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I Make Inappropriate Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 146 People

    Jokes

    Have you seen Amy Winehouse lately? See looks like a campaign poster for abandoned horses Why did Hitler really die? He saw the gas bill
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M Dec 12, 2010

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    I Just Don't Get The Snape Lust

    ...no offense, and I think Alan Rickman is very sexy... in 1988.
    Chrisanna Chrisanna 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2011

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    ._______.

    I did it the other day at the supermarket actually. I saw a jar of pickles labled "Sweet Midgets" and I said to my mom "Look, they have sweet midgets, and I don't mean really cool dwarves." I also made a few probably off-color jokes while watching Twilight...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T 5 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    Makes It Easier.

     I do this all the time, I find things are easier to deal with when you can laugh at them. Recently I have been merrily freaking people out by making self deprecating jokes about my depression. Hey, I’m medicated what’s your excuse??   A few...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    This is coming from Lydi- "Mom,

    what's easier to unload off of trucks?" Babies or Bricks Me- "Babies" Lydi-"Do you know why?" I'm not even going to attempt this, I'm over here thinking slicing and dicing, but I don't wanna be wrong. "Why Lydia?" Lydi- "Babies because you use pitchforks" "WHAT" and this...
    OrchidsNuBlu OrchidsNuBlu 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    In assembly the other day,

    this kid was pulled up in front of the school for telling a really dark joke and was made to tell everyone what he said. The entire hall was in silence and I just let out the loudest laugh ever, I couldn't help myself. I know I shouldn't have laughed, it's a serious subject. I...
    AliceRigby AliceRigby 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 12, 2014

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    Cocaine? Or Bulimia? Decisions.. Decisions....

    I am known for being inappropriate. The way my mother describes me is someone that "has no shame." Yes, that is right, I do have no shame. haha It's probably something I get from my father, oh yes, definitely so. Like for example, One time someone came up to me and...
    InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    My Wife Gets Really Uncomfortable Around Deaf People Who Speak

    So one day we were out eating, and this table of deaf people were talking to each other in that odd way that deaf people do. She gets really uncomfortable around them, so I decided that since they couldn't hear me, that I would imitate them to make her laugh. What I failed to...
    Robf911 Robf911 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 22, 2010

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    LOL

    An ******* went to the store to buy cheese.  He was just browering through  cheese when the ******* noticed a big round cheese. He pick it up and put into his ***-hole. LOL....
    mother1983 mother1983 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Hate It

    I hate upsetting people ...it's just a talent I have.
    HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 24, 2011

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    Hey Baby

    how do you like your eggs   scrambled or fertilized
    theluckyduck theluckyduck 26-30, M 8 Responses Nov 7, 2008

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    Inappropriate?

    Ok, here's the thing.  I don't usually realize that the jokes are inappropriate at the time.
    RagingSkillet RagingSkillet 31-35, M Jan 10, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I understand people make jokes because they are uncomfortable. doesn't make it right. I made sure my kids were raised with an understanding of people with disabilities. one life...
    regalshewolf regalshewolf 41-45, F Jan 8

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    No matter how I try to control it... I laugh at the most inappropriate moments someone slipping In public or hearing a fart in a silent room is enough to make me double over with...
    Forbiddenkisses Forbiddenkisses 22-25, F 4 Responses Dec 27, 2014

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    sometimes when I don't have sex in a long time I think of inappropriate things that I should not
    bigfrank917 bigfrank917 31-35, M Dec 28, 2014

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    I'm sorry if God decided to give me a dirty mind, ok? But if you talk to me, expect me to say something inappropriate
    Lollipop948 Lollipop948 13-15, M 5 Responses Jan 7

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    And for the benefit of present and future members? Define inappropriate material...or is this subjective according to personal opinion?
    MistyMoon1 MistyMoon1 41-45, F 4 Responses Jan 12

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    I would like to make some good friends here but I have not found any yet. I receive lots of messages from males.But when I visit their profiles,I see inappropriate things there so...
    musl1ma musl1ma 26-30, F 19 Responses Jan 13

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    The guy next to me has coughing fits at work and it makes me laugh so hard I pee on my self a little bit...
    MarchPisces MarchPisces 36-40, F Jan 16

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    I dunno many jokes but I know how to make ppl laugh with my unicorn mask :D
    Lolllipoop Lolllipoop 13-15, M 6 days ago

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    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it. 2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you, but it's still on my list. 3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 5 Responses Dec 31, 2014

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    😊 How to keep wife happy . . . .! It's really not difficult to make a wife happy. A husband only needs to be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a...
    adiscorpion41 adiscorpion41 22-25, M 38 Responses 3 days ago

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    Coffee Maker The newlywed Blonde went to the store to ask how to operate the new coffeemaker received as a wedding gift. The salesman carefully explained how everything worked...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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    A little girl is sitting on her grandpa's lap and studying the wrinkles on his old face. She gets up the nerve to rub her fingers over the wrinkles. Then she touches her own face...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 4 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    I love a good joke and riddles sometimes when I'm bored I'll just go on my fone and computer and look up jokes lol
    AiymaSnikies AiymaSnikies 22-25, F 1 Response Dec 26, 2014

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    A guy walks into a bar and notices a jar full of $100 bills so he asked the bartender what it was for! The bartender replied that there is a donkey in the back room and if you can...
    alexxvaunlennon101 alexxvaunlennon101 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 29, 2014

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    Stupid jokes can have me laughing all day lol.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Dec 31, 2014

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    Tequila!! A man walks into a bar, notices a very large jar on the counter, and sees that it is filled to the brim with $10 bills. He guesses there must be at least ten thousand...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 6 Responses Jan 1

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    I've got a lot of jokes about unemployed people... but they never work :/ ;)
    cnk2015 cnk2015 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    Fireman SEX A fireman came from work one day and told his wife, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station. Bell 1 rings and we all put on our jackets. Bell 2 rings...
    actionjake actionjake 56-60, M Jan 5

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    I laugh at my own jokes if they're based on your ugly- I mean, wonderful face :)
    SweeterThanToblerone SweeterThanToblerone 13-15, F Jan 9

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    They belong to me They belong to you They can make you feel happy Or make you feel blue They never end Until the day you do What are they?
    Reading247 Reading247 18-21, F 10 Responses Jan 9

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    Do you know what the lettuce asked the radish? Let us be best friends? And what did the radish answer? You naughty thing, you make me blush! you make me reddish!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 6 Responses Jan 14

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    The weird kind of humour that comes from unfunny jokes. They only appeal to a very specific type of person, everyone else will just stare at you as if you're an idiot, roll their...
    iiCHARLIii iiCHARLIii 13-15, F a week ago

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    A housewife takes a lover during the day, while her husband is at work. Not aware that 9 year old son was hiding in the closet. Her husband came home unexpectedly, so she hid her...
    flight007 flight007 31-35, F 16 Responses 5 days ago

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    New CEO A company, feeling it was time for a shapeup, hires a new CEO. The new CEO is determined to rid the company of all unproductiveworkers. On a tour of the facilities, the...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 5 days ago

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    Airport Jokes Getting on a plane, I told the ticket lady, "Send one of my bags to New York, send one to Los Angeles, and send one to Miami." She said, "We can't do that!" I told...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    Doctor Jokes A doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said, "Cough...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    Hollywood Jokes Hollywood called me, asking me, "How much to do a movie with Farrah Fawcett?" "$50,000" They called back, "How about $20,000?" I said, "I'll pay it!" Farrah's...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 3 days ago

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    Homeless Guys Jokes A bum asked me, "Give me $10 till payday." I asked, "When's payday?" He said, "I don't know, you're the one who is working!" A bum came up to me saying, "I...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    A woman had a parrot that she took with her everywhere she went. She would even take the parrot to the club with her when she went dancing and drinking on Saturday nights. Whenever...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 days ago

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    When you showed up today on Sunday, I thought I was imaging. I was just thinking of you, strange huh? And I'm not sure if you noticed, that when I wanted to ask you about your day...
    Sahour221286 Sahour221286 26-30, F 7 hrs ago

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    NO COME WOK TODAY Hung Chow calls his work and says, 'Hey, I no come wok today, I really sick. Got headache, stomach ache and legs hurt, I no come wok.' The boss says, 'You know...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 13 Responses Dec 25, 2014

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    A man went to his lawyer and said "I would like to make a will but I don't know exactly how to go about it." The lawyer says "No problem, leave it all to me". The man looks...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Dec 26, 2014

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    This is a favorite joke of mine. Enjoy. Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day, Mary my wife...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 8 Responses Dec 29, 2014

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    I went home after a night shift on Christmas morning , only to find a load of Meccano Lego and Playdo ! I did not know what to make of it
    1barebrit 1barebrit 41-45, M Dec 30, 2014

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