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I Make Inappropriate Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 138 People

    Hey Baby

    how do you like your eggs   scrambled or fertilized
    theluckyduck theluckyduck 26-30, M 8 Responses Nov 7, 2008

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    Jokes

    Have you seen Amy Winehouse lately? See looks like a campaign poster for abandoned horses Why did Hitler really die? He saw the gas bill
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M Dec 12, 2010

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    ._______.

    I did it the other day at the supermarket actually. I saw a jar of pickles labled "Sweet Midgets" and I said to my mom "Look, they have sweet midgets, and I don't mean really cool dwarves." I also made a few probably off-color jokes while watching Twilight...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T 5 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    Makes It Easier.

     I do this all the time, I find things are easier to deal with when you can laugh at them. Recently I have been merrily freaking people out by making self deprecating jokes about my depression. Hey, I’m medicated what’s your excuse??   A few...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Cocaine? Or Bulimia? Decisions.. Decisions....

    I am known for being inappropriate. The way my mother describes me is someone that "has no shame." Yes, that is right, I do have no shame. haha It's probably something I get from my father, oh yes, definitely so. Like for example, One time someone came up to me and...
    InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    LOL

    An ******* went to the store to buy cheese.  He was just browering through  cheese when the ******* noticed a big round cheese. He pick it up and put into his ***-hole. LOL....
    mother1983 mother1983 26-30, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    In assembly the other day,

    this kid was pulled up in front of the school for telling a really dark joke and was made to tell everyone what he said. The entire hall was in silence and I just let out the loudest laugh ever, I couldn't help myself. I know I shouldn't have laughed, it's a serious subject. I...
    AliceRigby AliceRigby 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 12

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    My Wife Gets Really Uncomfortable Around Deaf People Who Speak

    So one day we were out eating, and this table of deaf people were talking to each other in that odd way that deaf people do. She gets really uncomfortable around them, so I decided that since they couldn't hear me, that I would imitate them to make her laugh. What I failed to...
    Robf911 Robf911 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 22, 2010

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    Hate It

    I hate upsetting people ...it's just a talent I have.
    HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 24, 2011

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    Inappropriate?

    Ok, here's the thing.  I don't usually realize that the jokes are inappropriate at the time.
    RagingSkillet RagingSkillet 31-35, M Jan 10, 2012

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    I Just Don't Get The Snape Lust

    ...no offense, and I think Alan Rickman is very sexy... in 1988.
    Chrisanna Chrisanna 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    My friend Christine and her mother, keep making up terrible jokes about flowers. I’m getting really fed up of Chris and her mum. ...or maybe this is better, because it's multi...
    RicRaver RicRaver 41-45, M 3 Responses 11 hrs ago

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    A man brings his best buddy home for dinner unannounced at 5:30 after work. His wife screams at him as his friend listens in. “My hair and makeup are not done, the house is a...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    Not only do I have a very weird and sometimes very dark humor, I also laugh at inappropriate things. I wont go into details as I don't want to offend anyone. But its something...
    ultimatehacker ultimatehacker 26-30, M 1 Response Oct 11

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    A professor was known for making rude sexist jokes during lectures. There was this group of young women who hated it and were well put off by it. One day they decided that the next...
    Ladygrey79 Ladygrey79 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 8

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    If I judge a comment to be inappropriate on one of my stories I will delete it.
    rorytheawesomeboy rorytheawesomeboy 18-21, M 2 Responses Sep 29

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    One of my professors is hilarious and a friend and I were joking around a few minutes ago and then it became dead silent. The funny thing that was said was still on my mind so I...
    lizygurl lizygurl 18-21, F 2 days ago

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    Ever come on here and you want to say something to someone and realize that even though you mean it in a harmless way, the other person may not? Then, you end up deleting the whole...
    RockingTheCarhartts RockingTheCarhartts 46-50, M 1 day ago

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    I started EP to share my experiences with people from all over the world and to hopefully build bonds whether it's a friendship or something more. I don't want you to message me or...
    Delicateflower98 Delicateflower98 16-17, F 10 Responses Oct 6

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    If i'm standing in line for a long time, ill just start doing a random lame dance to pass the time and make the people around me smile
    EllieAmazing EllieAmazing 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 26

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    I'm a Paramedic. We experience things that would make most people cringe and have nightmares. It eventually gets to the point that if you don't laugh about it, you'll cry about it...
    MedicGuy14 MedicGuy14 22-25, M 2 Responses Oct 11

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    there are several tv comercials that I love the 2 guys in the car about food , the sasquash comercial and the one where the man says hmm what. I just love anything that makes me...
    pickles1000 pickles1000 61-65, F 3 days ago

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    Bill, Jim, and Scott were at a convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper. After a long day of meetings they were shocked to hear that...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 5 Responses Sep 26

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    bad jokes are literally the best jokes
    kodomo808 kodomo808 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 16

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    A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his check-up, the doctor called the wife into his office alone. He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe...
    enriqueclasico enriqueclasico 26-30, M 2 Responses Sep 27

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    A man walked into a pub one day and saw a large jar full of money on the counter. He then asked the barmen what it was for and he replied." if anyone could make the donkey out the...
    thefisch thefisch 22-25, M 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Husband's demand for sex..... A young wife, who was becoming frustrated with her young husband's constant demands for sex, decides to make a schedule for him, to cut down on the...
    lemongrass09 lemongrass09 46-50, F 3 Responses Oct 11

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    😜 (To men) Please take time to ponder. 😕 (To women) Just enjoy the story. 😋 Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighbouring kingdom...
    Aryg Aryg 36-40, F 11 Responses Sep 26

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    A man and his neighbour were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer. After a while the man says to the neighbour, "If I was to sneak over to your house and made...
    LockieLeonard LockieLeonard 46-50, M 5 Responses Oct 4

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    What kind of jokes do vegetables like best? Corny ones!!
    orangeapes orangeapes 16-17, F 1 Response Oct 5

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    Stages of Being Drunk Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known Universe. You know everything and want to pass on your knowledge to...
    HotMomShaama HotMomShaama 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 7

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    Jim was discharged from the hospital after a massive Heart Attack. The doctors cured Jim and told him that now he has a heart of a teenager. Jim goes home and that evening is...
    karmameter karmameter 36-40, M 2 Responses Oct 7

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    My brothers are all practical jokers, and as I grew up at home it was joke after joke with them. I like humour, and to hear jokes and little twisted riddles is very much good fun...
    Skjeggstad Skjeggstad 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 8

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    A man joins a soccer team and his new teammates inform him, "At your first team dinner as the new guy, you will have to give us a talk about sex." The evening arrives and he...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 1 Response Oct 9

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    A man and a woman have just had their 50th wedding anniversary. The husband turns to his wife and asks, "What do you want to do to celebrate our anniversary dear?" She replies...
    Michael91142 Michael91142 70+, M 1 Response Oct 9

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    A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do...
    csouls csouls 31-35, M 3 Responses Oct 10

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    I got in a big fight with a friend I rarely see, and will possibly never see again. I had invited her to a group chat with all my new high school friends since I had to go to a new...
    hcpefully hcpefully 16-17, F Oct 12

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    Why did the tomato blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.. Why was the Cyclops a good teacher? cause he only had one pupil.. OMG Cheesy Jokes are my life they always put a smile...
    chialuvgirl chialuvgirl 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 13

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    An Interesting Anthropological Theory. Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 1 Response Oct 14

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    No that is good. Rescues on the way but were too busy looking for the rescue to see the rescue wow cool thank you for sharing I like those jokes too :-)
    sunney55 sunney55 46-50, M 5 days ago

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    I think it a positive thing when uoi can just laugh ay yourself and at you own bad jokes. I just had a bit of a rage and looked back at what I had to say to the public and laughed...
    chinamary1 chinamary1 26-30, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing...
    hancockian hancockian 66-70, M 3 Responses Sep 24

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    A guy walking down the street stops a fellow pedestrian and says "Sssscuse mm me mate. Ha ha have you ggggot the tttime o o o on you m m mate?" The pedestrian remains silent. "S s...
    picklebobble picklebobble 46-50, M 1 Response Sep 25

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    HOW THE FIGHT STARTED Do you ever get sooo stressed out that everything or little things make you laugh? It was one of those days .I rear ended a car. And the guy got out...
    Kentex Kentex 56-60, M 4 Responses Sep 26

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    What did the DNA say to the other DNA? "Do these genes make me look fat?"
    sasunaruizlove sasunaruizlove 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 26

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    Playing Doctor Steve complained to his friend Al that lovemaking with his wife was becoming routine and boring. "Get creative buddy. Break up the monotony. Why don't you try...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 26

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    Q.how do you make seven an even number? A.take the s out!
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Sep 26

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    The Pharmacist's Monday ... Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist. He insulted me terribly this...
    DanCan1 DanCan1 56-60, M 2 Responses Sep 26

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