First off, I don't mean for any of this to be offensive at all to Germans nor to followers of Judaism. If it offends you I'm sorry, it is not my intention, and feel free to make...
I seem to need constant reassurance and that leads me to flirt (sometimes in an over-the-top way) and send out the wrong signals. I work in a field that necessitates a lot of...
4-the night time
6-thinking of someone
why are lawyers like prostitutes cos both make a living by screwing people for money
The dreams are inappropriate, and usually about crushes, partners, or even friends from the past.
While most are not sexual in nature, they do take on a very affectionate/romantic...
So I don't like it when people cuss but yet I laugh when they go it and I think it's funny! Why is it so easy to laugh at bad words and not at the good jokes? I would consider...
How many of you have had that person in your life that you love and everything that they say and feel towards you matter? They know and put you down every f*****chance they get. I...
4. Anything by Hayao Miyazaki
5. Good quotes
7. The smell of sawdust
8. The sounds of Miami
10. Highlands cattle
11. The QnA
When I'm with certain people it seems like I can't do anything right. I say the wrong thing or drive the wrong way or act the wrong way. Then I'm called a "dee de dee". I don't...
I'm the size of an average ten year old. Sometimes it's a benefit. Sometimes I'll act like a ten year old to make it more convincing.
My boyfriend's new favorite TV show is labeled as "comedy" but most of the jokes fall completely flat. However, some of them are actually pretty funny:
Girl 1: If I go into that...
It is hilarious to me when people laugh at their own jokes. Especially when they think it's actually funny.
My dad used to laugh at his own jokes, but it was just the best thing...
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking
one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local
After a while the...
A young cowboy, sitting in a saloon one Saturday night, recognized
an elderly man standing at the bar who, in his day, had been the fastest
gun in the West...
What To Wear To An IRS Tax Audit
Myron Greenberg, a wealthy L.A. businessman, received a letter from the IRS telling him he was being audited. He first called his Accountant...
I want friends in real-life. REAL friends. I have a girlfriend who is perpetually cranky, and one "mom friend" who doesn't act so much like a mom, more like a teenager, and who I...
A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot.
The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in...
Reasons Not To Mess With Children
1. A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.
The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because...
What's the hardest part about being a *********???
What type of file do you need to turn a 4mm hole into a 40mm hole???
How do you give a hillbilly a...
give me an laughable jokes or a hard riddle
They're just jokes. It's not like a joke is supposed to be taken seriously.
7 OLD AGE JOKES My favorite is Number 2
1. Couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a check-up, the doctor tells them that they're physically...
After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo, (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices the Pope is still standing on the curb.
'Excuse me, Your...
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons.
"I'll make you a deal. I will open this alligator...
Zen Buddhist walks up to a hotdog stand. "Make me one with everything."
A husband and wife are watching a television program about psychology and explaining mixed emotions. Husband says to wife, "honey, that's all a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell...
So, Johnny and his girl Sally are going to prom this Saturday. But, before they can go, Johnny needs to make sure they have a perfect night.
So, Friday comes, and Johnny goes out...
😊 Irony of life:
The Lawyer hopes You
get into trouble,
The Doctor hopes You
The Police hopes You
become a Criminal,
The Teacher hopes...
A wealthy man came home from a gambling trip and told his wife that he had lost their entire fortune and that they'd have to drastically alter their life-style.
"If you'll just...
In a lost village a guy with a 25 inches D*** wants to make it shorter so he goes to see the elder of his village. the elder tells him to go to the forest where he will find a...