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I Make Inappropriate Jokes

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 149 People

    ._______.

    I did it the other day at the supermarket actually. I saw a jar of pickles labled "Sweet Midgets" and I said to my mom "Look, they have sweet midgets, and I don't mean really cool dwarves." I also made a few probably off-color jokes while watching Twilight...
    axelval axelval 18-21, T 5 Responses Dec 1, 2008

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    Hey Baby

    how do you like your eggs   scrambled or fertilized
    theluckyduck theluckyduck 26-30, M 8 Responses Nov 7, 2008

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    LOL

    An ******* went to the store to buy cheese.  He was just browering through  cheese when the ******* noticed a big round cheese. He pick it up and put into his ***-hole. LOL....
    mother1983 mother1983 31-35, F 2 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Cocaine? Or Bulimia? Decisions.. Decisions....

    I am known for being inappropriate. The way my mother describes me is someone that "has no shame." Yes, that is right, I do have no shame. haha It's probably something I get from my father, oh yes, definitely so. Like for example, One time someone came up to me and...
    InsanelyMe08 InsanelyMe08 18-21, F 7 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    My Wife Gets Really Uncomfortable Around Deaf People Who Speak

    So one day we were out eating, and this table of deaf people were talking to each other in that odd way that deaf people do. She gets really uncomfortable around them, so I decided that since they couldn't hear me, that I would imitate them to make her laugh. What I failed to...
    Robf911 Robf911 36-40, M 1 Response Oct 22, 2010

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    I Just Don't Get The Snape Lust

    ...no offense, and I think Alan Rickman is very sexy... in 1988.
    Chrisanna Chrisanna 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 25, 2011

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    Makes It Easier.

     I do this all the time, I find things are easier to deal with when you can laugh at them. Recently I have been merrily freaking people out by making self deprecating jokes about my depression. Hey, I’m medicated what’s your excuse??   A few...
    deleted deleted 26-30 14 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    In assembly the other day,

    this kid was pulled up in front of the school for telling a really dark joke and was made to tell everyone what he said. The entire hall was in silence and I just let out the loudest laugh ever, I couldn't help myself. I know I shouldn't have laughed, it's a serious subject. I...
    AliceRigby AliceRigby 16-17, F 1 Response Jun 12, 2014

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    Inappropriate?

    Ok, here's the thing.  I don't usually realize that the jokes are inappropriate at the time.
    RagingSkillet RagingSkillet 31-35, M Jan 10, 2012

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    Jokes

    Have you seen Amy Winehouse lately? See looks like a campaign poster for abandoned horses Why did Hitler really die? He saw the gas bill
    Daveokay Daveokay 22-25, M Dec 12, 2010

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    Hate It

    I hate upsetting people ...it's just a talent I have.
    HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl HerrDoctorLiebenstrudl 61-65, M 2 Responses Jun 24, 2011

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    This is coming from Lydi- "Mom,

    what's easier to unload off of trucks?" Babies or Bricks Me- "Babies" Lydi-"Do you know why?" I'm not even going to attempt this, I'm over here thinking slicing and dicing, but I don't wanna be wrong. "Why Lydia?" Lydi- "Babies because you use pitchforks" "WHAT" and this...
    OrchidsNuBlu OrchidsNuBlu 36-40, F 3 Responses Dec 23, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    I have a friend that is addicted to reddit and he is almost constantly looking through posts while we are hanging out. Because I am an incredibly awkward person, his distraction...
    TodayINeedACoffee TodayINeedACoffee 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 19

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    I don't have any jokes but I do enjoy them. I make jokes often and love having fun with them. I do know I go overboard with them sometimes but I love having a good laugh and trying...
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M 3 Responses a week ago

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    I'm new here so I'm just learning to use this thing. I'm willing to make new friends, but NO inappropriate photos, comments or perverts showing their **** to me. FYI, I have a...
    NatureScienceGirl NatureScienceGirl 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 22

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    I like meeting new people. I'm here to make some new friends, BUT I am NOT here to find a boyfriend, no dirty comments, no inappropriate photos, dirty messages from perverts...
    ArtLover24 ArtLover24 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 21

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    Question And Answer Jokes Q: How can you tell if a lawyer is well hung? A: You can't get a finger between the rope and his neck! Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses Feb 20

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    Ok. Got a weird story, don't know that it's funny but it was for me anyway. This was quite some time ago about 2 years ago. My sister was coming home from L.A back to the BayArea...
    Isayis23 Isayis23 26-30, M 1 Response Feb 22

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    I think it's just his nature XD 1. Making inappropriate big o sounds 2. To actually dare to tea bag in front of him 3. Grabbing his hand and making him touch my body 4. Darting my...
    iTetra iTetra 13-15, F Feb 24

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    I've been hearing too much from rape jokes online, it makes me feel really upset that women were raped and couldn't get over it. Sometimes I believe that they say that they're...
    craz3f8g craz3f8g 18-21 1 Response 5 days ago

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    Puns for Educated Minds How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.... Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. I...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 6 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    My mom says that back in the good ole days, blonde jokes were "little moron" jokes. Does anyone else remember that?
    pattyhard pattyhard 51-55, T 1 Response Feb 5

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    So once my friend kept making jokes about my height, since I'm 4'10. He made some stupid puns and jokes that made me end up throwing his phone across the room. He looked me at with...
    HellNotHallelujah HellNotHallelujah 18-21, F 7 Responses 1 day ago

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    About two years ago, I was asked to describe myself and I realized that I didn't really know who I am. So, instead of finding qualities, I wrote a list of things that makes me...
    Jeanne506 Jeanne506 16-17, F Feb 17

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    1. Solitude for reflection, meditation and recharging my batteries.2. Sunrise over the Atlantic Ocean, with a box of Grasshopper cookies and a thermos of strong black coffee.3...
    singstothewind singstothewind 46-50, F Feb 15

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    Bill and Ralph were playing golf together. Ralph goes into his golf bag to get a ball and says to his friend, "Hey, why don't you try this ball." He draws a green golf ball out of...
    Injoy1767 Injoy1767 46-50, F 1 Response Feb 7

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    I love terrible jokes. Don't be butthurt if you find offense, calmly leave the post and carry on with your life
    Johndoe10000 Johndoe10000 46-50, M 2 Responses Feb 8

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    Rules for Buying Gifts for Men Rule #1: When in doubt - buy him a cordless drill. It does not matter if he already has one. I have a friend who owns 17 and he has yet to...
    Brunette4U Brunette4U 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 8

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    Love reading sometimes. I don't know any. But I'm polish and blonde so love them both. Wish I got jokes daily for a cheer up.
    Averageguy41074 Averageguy41074 36-40, M Feb 10

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    In a crowded city at a busy bus stop, a woman who was waiting for a bus was wearing a tight leather skirt. As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 2 Responses Feb 12

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    This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 14

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    I'm the person who can barely get the joke out because it's just too damn funny in my head. I've also come up with lots of ****** jokes myself. I think I'm hilarious. Anyway, my...
    Allforaview Allforaview 18-21, F Feb 15

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    Choosing a Wife -Quality or quantity Kenny wanted to get married. He was having trouble choosing among three likely candidates {Lyn, Jill & Rose]. He gives each woman a present of...
    WYYNA WYYNA 31-35, F 4 Responses Feb 17

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    A good Irish man, John O’Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness and having a contest as to who could make the best toast...
    khenpal khenpal 51-55, M 1 Response Feb 19

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    A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 2 Responses Feb 22

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    Fifty-Seven Years of Math 1957-2014 In America: The evolution in teaching math since the 1950’s 1. Teaching Math in 1950s A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100. His...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 7 Responses Feb 23

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    What's the best thing about elevator jokes? They work on so many levels.
    WaterWave WaterWave 16-17 1 Response Feb 24

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    A popular bar had a new robotic bartender installed, to make serving drinks more efficient. A guy came in for a drink and the robot asked him, "What's your IQ?" The man replied...
    Johndoe10000 Johndoe10000 46-50, M 1 Response a week ago

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    A little girl was sitting on her grandfather’s lap as he read her a bedtime story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled...
    jml2000 jml2000 56-60, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    As we get older we sometimes begin to doubt our ability to "make a difference" in the world. It is at these times that our hopes are boosted by the remarkable achievements of other...
    Rusham Rusham 66-70, M 2 Responses 3 days ago

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    Here is some sarcasm for the day 1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem work itself out...
    Inexperienced3 Inexperienced3 51-55, M 4 Responses 2 days ago

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    Leave some jokes in the responses please. I'm feeling kind of sad tonight :'(
    littlemissbubbly littlemissbubbly 16-17, F 2 days ago

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