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I Married a Controlling, Emotionally Abusive Man

Anybody else out there living under such duress?? 124 People

    Idiots Unite

    I'm divorced for many years now but you'd never know it. He's never been far and kept his leash tight. He knows my weaknesses and never seems to forget how to hit below the belt when throwing out his verbal abuse. I know I need to leave the area to get away from it, I know that...
    mysplitpersonality mysplitpersonality 36-40, F 11 Responses Feb 14, 2008

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    Another One Of Those Days

    As I sit at my desk at work I reflect over my life. I'm not happy with the things I have accepted. I'm not ok with the fact that I let someone rob me of my happiness. I wanna get it back, I have to. I feel empowered like I can start over and make some much needed changes to get...
    Valq Valq 26-30, F 3 Responses Dec 3, 2012

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    It All Feels So Hopeless

    It's all too typical........He is an extrememly respected man in the comunity.  Everyone loves him...thinks I am so lucky to have him..... And yet living with him has broken my self esteem.....which was so strong.........I am depressed....... I have isolated myself into...
    Tatter Tatter 51-55, F 3 Responses Jan 12, 2009

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    Still in love with a man who hurts me

    Can't believe it's already 4 1/2 years of this. He can be so mean and so sweet. I'm no dummy, I know about the cycle. I believe in separation with the hope of reconciliation but com' on, he's not gonna go to counseling for abuse on his own. Why would he, nothing is ever his fault...
    catmode catmode 31-35, F 5 Responses Apr 15, 2011

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    I Am Abusive Man

    i am a abusive man and i dont what to do it no more im am sorry to all you pealpe who have been abused im dying but im still going to get help so i can dye nowing i done somethig about it sorry to all you ladys out there
    brianmac1863 brianmac1863 46-50 1 Response Sep 10, 2012

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    i have loved an emotionally abusive

    and controlling man for ten years. Five years ago I married him. He makes me feel lower than dirt. He didn't touch me for two years saying I disgust him. Then after a single night after two years of married celibacy i conceived. We are now parents to a one and a half years old...
    girlnomore girlnomore 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    Stuck For Now

    I am married to a hateful abusive man who flys off the handle in the blink of an eye. I have a plan to leave him however it is going to take a couple of years. I am in financial ruin because he started a failing business which only adds to the stress. I have no family to rely on...
    Clea1970 Clea1970 36-40 2 Responses Jan 20, 2011

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    How Do You Bounce Back With All the Pain and Damage That Comes From Being In An Emotionally Abusive Relationship?

    I was married for 15 years to a man who never even took the time to get to know me. He didn't want to know me, I guess it was just not worth his time. I got to the point where I just couldn't take how bad it made me feel about myself and really zapped my self-esteem. I took my...
    frenzygirl frenzygirl 31-35, F 6 Responses Feb 15, 2008

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    17 Years Being Blind

    I have been with this man for 16 years. only my kids getting older were able to open my eyes. Mind you this is their father whom i had three boys and stayed for them now they are screwed up and I am so mad that i didn't no what the hell was going on Its like a fog i remember bits...
    ahgreek ahgreek 36-40, F 1 Response Aug 28, 2009

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    I'm Starting To Think I Belong Here.

    I've had a difficult time coming to terms with this. I think I'm still a little skeptical, but it's growing on me. My husband ("Max") is not particularly jealous that I'm aware of. He's usually not aggressive, though he can get pretty nasty in an argument (of which there are many...
    whisperingthunder whisperingthunder 41-45, F 3 Responses Jun 26, 2012

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    Today is Thanksgiving.

    ..but my husband has locked himself in the room because I got upset that he wouldn't let my kids listen to their father's message on the phone. I asked him to stop controlling me..he looked at me as if I was stupid.... He's verbally abusive with my son- I feel like I can not...
    NotVibrant NotVibrant 31-35, F 5 Responses Nov 27, 2014

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    Control Freak I Married

    He takes the energy out of me,he is not my baby daddy,I know I could be alone,how do I leave somebody that knows my bank card numbers and everything about me,I will have to get the strength to leave,and that time has come,I want to leave and am ready not to turn back again,turned...
    rebeccaacosta rebeccaacosta 31-35 2 Responses Mar 15, 2012

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    He Doesn't Even Know He Sucks the Life Energy From Us!

    My children know they will never be able to make him happy.  My friends call him the "funsucker".  I am emotionally sucked dry from being around him.  His need to always be in control, makes me feel I have no say in our marriage.  He keeps telling me...
    searching4answer searching4answer 41-45, F 18 Responses Feb 13, 2008

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    Yesterday was my son's birthday.

    .he questioned why I was going to buy him this and that...I remained quiet..got home at night and he has my son helping fix the car on his birthday .he yells at me that I should f"in stop complaining .. He didn't even let my son talk to his father to wish him a happy birthday...
    NotVibrant NotVibrant 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    How Creepy Is This ?

      I have been reading the horrific news about the man who dressed up as Santa and stormed a Christmas party killing his wife and eight of her relatives. It is simply monstrous. What made this news look even creepier to me was what I read yesterday. The killer had abandoned...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 13 Responses Dec 28, 2008

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    13 Years Too Long

    I am with the coldest person on earth who separated me from my family and friends, withheld affection and makes sure I am too broke to leave. I'm done here but I am also 50 and want to know human affection again, It's hard because I have been like this so long I feel like a robot...
    latoni latoni 46-50 1 Response Dec 24, 2012

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    Not Me, But My Sister...help!

    My whole family agrees, my sister's boyfriend is an a**hole. We don't know what to do anymore.  We have all voiced our concerns about him but it is like talking to a brick wall. He is not only an alcoholic, but he mentally and PHYSICALLY abuses her.  he is 10 years...
    Marshmellowed Marshmellowed 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 11, 2009

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    How Do You Leave?

    i cant step out that door, i dont know why i just find myself unable...im not strong enough i guess. Just please any advice would help. 
    serenity94 serenity94 22-25, F 6 Responses Mar 17, 2012

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    I'm Getting A Divorce

    I married a controlling, emotionally abusive man.  A half hour ago I ended the 7 year marriage and we are now simply roomates.  I have lived all this time with a man who's a "crazymaker".  He manipulates, changes the truth and history to serve his present needs...
    Gabriell Gabriell 56-60 7 Responses Jan 6, 2010

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    "Hope you are ready to fight in court to get

    anything" "You're crazy, I will make sure you never see the kids again" " You are such a loser" "Tell them (the kids) you don't want their mommy and daddy to be together anymore" "I'm not agreeing to any custody , the kids are mine" All of these hurtful words from the person I...
    Happinessismine Happinessismine 31-35, F 2 Responses Aug 26, 2014

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    Why Won't He Leave Me?

     I have been with a man for 13 years now and we have 2 children. Both girls 11 and 7 years old.  This man is verbally abusive, physically abusive, emotionally abusive to me.  We are not legally married and when I try to have him removed from the home I'm told that I cannot...
    benaka benaka 31-35 6 Responses Jan 12, 2012

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    I hate to admit it but I've been in an abusive

    relationship for 20 years. It started out when we were dating we would have an argument I'd try to leave because he'd become so scary and angry but he'd restrain me. He'd then twist everything around acting like he was protecting himself from me hurting him and I was stupid...
    goawaymia goawaymia 41-45, F 3 Responses Oct 4, 2014

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    THE MARRIAGE NAZI

    I Married a Controlling, Emotionally Abusive Man. I dealt with a control freak who was also verbally and mentally abusive. Living with this man was a nightmare. My self esteem went down the drain, I became an emotional mess. I was stupid enough to believe everything he said...
    underconstruction underconstruction 41-45, F 24 Responses Feb 14, 2008

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    Living In A World Of Pain

    I've known my husband since 10th grade. When we first started talking he was very self-centered, emotionally unavailable and promiscuous. I figured it was just because of his age and eventually the relationship went nowhere. 3 years later, I ran into him again on campus. He gave...
    Valq Valq 26-30, F Dec 2, 2012

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    Where do I start, how do I not blame myself,

    how did I let things get like this. We've been together for 8 years (not legally married) and have a six and seven year old. Things were awesome when we started, we were happy. I had my kids back to back and dedicated myself to my home, my kids, to him and to my schooling. I...
    1forever 1forever 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 22, 2014

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    I Dont Know How Much Longer I Can Stay....

    I don't think the last shred of self esteem I have left will allow me to. I have been married for 13 years with two children ages 12 and 6. For a long time i didn't characterize his outburst as abuse but now looking back after reading up on verbal and metal abuse I realize that...
    arret arret 31-35 2 Responses Jan 3, 2012

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    I wrote a letter to my soon to be ex a

    while back where I was trying to be politically correct. Today I'm going to write my politically incorrect version because if I don't get it out I will combust. It's been a bad day and I just need to vent, sorry! Dear spineless loser, I despise you. You are a sorry excuse...
    Happinessismine Happinessismine 31-35, F 1 Response Sep 19, 2014

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    Verbal And Emotional Abuse From Husband

    Married almost 11 years. He has proven to be emotionally abusive but even though I recognized something was wrong from the start I couldn't put a name to it. He can be romantic and loving sometimes, but usually everything always comes back to him...what he wants....etc. my...
    Rosemund Rosemund 46-50 3 Responses Jun 21, 2013

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    Doesn't it seem hazy sometimes?

    I just woke up one day and my self esteem was shot, I second guessed my judgements, doubted my memory and I felt strange...strange and like I had lost myself. The independent, self sufficient, confident person I was, vanished into thin air. Left in her place was a shell. I...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 3 Responses Sep 29, 2014

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    I was just thinking this last week has been

    tolerable.. Maybe I could do this .. But then I realized... Yes he's be nice and hasn't been sarcastic or made a joke at my expense..we haven't had a blow up argument since last Saturday when he blew up at me bc I was going to take a left instead of a right when we were driving...
    kathryn30 kathryn30 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 3, 2014

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    Related Experiences

    Oh thank you everyone. I have been married for 38 years and I was a very happy positive person living with a suck the life out of you negative man. He drained me of my happiness...
    Noonesbaby Noonesbaby 56-60, F Mar 10

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    I've been through a thoroughly emotionally abusive relationship and coming out of it, still married. I learned that I was allowing the abuse to continue on by reacting to my...
    Noelle49 Noelle49 36-40, F 9 Responses Mar 16

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    I was with a man for 10 years (married for 7), who was verbally and emotionally abusive. I loved him so much and would've done anything for him, so I put up with it. I also suffer...
    orangesky275 orangesky275 36-40, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I love my husband! I love my family!! I am miserable in my marriage and am uncertain, if "love" is a good enough reason to keep me here, when I am so unhappy?!! I don't want to be...
    momnga momnga 41-45, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I am very happily married to a very good man. I did not marry until later in life (40ish) and, while I didn't understand why, I now realize it was best for me. We are both very...
    pinkstarburst pinkstarburst 41-45, F 10 Responses Mar 11

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    Today he asked me if I missed him this weekend. I didn't want to answer. The reason I'm so emotionally unavailable is because I don't say things out loud. It has only been a few...
    OneStonedGirl OneStonedGirl 31-35, F 8 hrs ago

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    It's been an exhausting two weeks. We were in court on Monday. All day. He was off the scale ridiculous. Desperate to control me and have as much power as he can through...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 8

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    So I got the keys to the house after closing. I walked in and felt all warm and fuzzy. A feeling I don't feel in the home I share with my STBX. It felt so airy and clean and free...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 17 Responses Mar 17

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    I met my best friend when I was 14 and he was 12. There was an instant connection and I fell head over heels for him. Everyone asked if we were a couple and we both said no...but...
    zippy80 zippy80 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 5

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    I just need to vent....I feel so trapped and controlled and manipulated I'm my marriage. I need to leave but it's not that easy.hes emotionally and verbally abusive and I'm tired...
    Completelydonewithhim Completelydonewithhim 41-45, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    Today he kissed me again. I asked him if he was going to let me kiss him again. He wanted to but wasn't sure if I wanted to. It was 3am we went out for our cigarette break. He...
    OneStonedGirl OneStonedGirl 31-35, F 8 hrs ago

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    I'm engaged to an addict. We've been together for 8 1/2 years. I had always thought the problem was alcohol and cocaine. He would go on binges for 3 days straight about every 3...
    jillybeanfl jillybeanfl 36-40, F Mar 21

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    Smart Relationships : My approach to build one . Atlast I permitted my boyfriend to enter in my life :) He will live with me in my house along with my family . Love these moments...
    rsushama73 rsushama73 41-45, F 5 days ago

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    I've not been on this site long, but long enough to know that there are many people looking for happiness and contentment in a D/s relationship. The only larger group of people are...
    idriveithard idriveithard 36-40, M 4 Responses Mar 17

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    Like many here I too had an affair with a married man... He was my boss and he was gorgeous. I had just gotten out of a terrible relationship and a close friend of mine had...
    0Mischa0 0Mischa0 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 19 <