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I Married a Narcissist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 97 People

    I Just Didn't Know!

    My husband fits the classic pattern. He has no ability to empathize. He has no respect for anyone's ideals when they differ from his. He has no ability, no desire to make anybody's life better but his own. He is mean. He is defensive. People have asked me how all this...
    KarynT45 KarynT45 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    I Also Married An N.

    He was wonderful at first. He told me wonderful things about myself that I knew were not true and I, for a little while, found a little courage, with him, that I didn't have before. Because of that, I thought I was doing the right thing by being with him and. . . . .ignored...
    farnel farnel 31-35, F 6 Responses Dec 4, 2008

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    Monsterous Creation

    It started with noticing insecurities. General confusion in his life. He didn't know where to go or what to do. So he began taking jobs under people who were abusive. One boss disapproved of him going for two weeks to California for the Marines. He even criticized him after he...
    Tekkamaki Tekkamaki 31-35 Nov 30, 2010

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    3 Years And Counting Trying To Divorce A Narcissist

    So, I married a narcissist.What is worse than marrying a narcissist.  Trying to divorce one, especially if you have children.My ex husband was confirmed as having 'high narcissistic tendencies'.  He is also highly paranoid, suffers from substance abuse, and has had numerous...
    lifebeginsat33 lifebeginsat33 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2011

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    My narcissist ex is currently refusing a good

    offer on our house. He wants to counter with the full price. Then he says it's my fault that we are going to lose the sale because I refuse to sign the counter offer! So typical. But grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    rphmom rphmom 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 12

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    Wish I'd Had That Protection ...

    Unfortunately, didn't marry - just lived with for a decade so didnt even have that back up! They're dangerous - for a multitude of reasons. Mine obliterated me! Overnight! I no longer suited his purpose. I got too strong. I caught him up - there was probably a ton of reasons. I...
    liguidgold liguidgold 41-45, F 5 Responses Jul 7, 2011

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    14 years!!!!!!!!!! But hey without my complete

    waste if space ex, I wouldn't have finally realised my full potential. I divorced mr loser ,went back to university, graduated and can now after the years of torture this guy inflicted I can now hold my head up high. So cheers my ex narcissist I owe you my happy life now !
    annetteclaire annetteclaire 36-40, F 2 Responses Mar 4

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    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" Author: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 2 Responses Feb 14

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    Godsmacked

    been married a little over a year and i am godsmacked at how my husband has treated me lately. perhaps his mask is wearing thin. everytime i try to talk to him about anything i feel like i've been emotionally raped. he went from being supportive and loving to emotionally cruel...
    kyriblu kyriblu 46-50, F Jul 14, 2012

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    Narcissist Tendecies

    Hello I'm not sure how to start bit oh boy here it comes.My cousin met his wife fell in love in 2 weeks they got engaged 2mos 9 mos married..Ever since they were married he always have look like something is going on. His wife makes all the decisions.Ok I'm not diagnosing her but...
    Lisa1471 Lisa1471 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    I Care Too Much.

    I have been with my husband for 30 yrs and he is everything you all say about all your partners. My life has been in turmoil for as long as I remember with all the classic feelings you all feel about your Narcissists partners etc. Firstly do you think it could be a learnt...
    mumado mumado 51-55, F Feb 25, 2013

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    Won't Get Fooled Again

    I only just recently discovered that I was formerly married to a narcissist. I only found that out after having dated a narcissist and trying to figure out what went wrong in that relationship. This guy came on hot and heavy and I played the fool until I helped him get a job...
    DizzyDezzi2010 DizzyDezzi2010 41-45, F Jun 13, 2012

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    My Narcissist Husband Left Me Destitute

    I started to write my story, but will get back to it.....still quite painful...happy to see there is a forum where I can connect with others who really truly understand and get it. Be back later with my story....
    blarb blarb 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 4, 2010

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    It Should Have Worked!

    Eleven years ago I married a narcissist.  He was great with my two young boys.  He didn't drink alcohol like my ex.  He wrote me love notes and treated my like a princess.  Sometime after our daughter was born, he started changing.  Quit his job. Took out...
    plantlover plantlover 41-45 6 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    I have been married for 28 years mostly

    miserable years. I stayed for my children not understanding that there father was a narcissist, I thought he was just frugal and made excuses for him because of his upbringing. Now my daughters are suffering because of my ignorance. My oldest is having trouble finding a...
    mltdown mltdown 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 4

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    How Come I Am Obsessed With A Narcisscist? Help!

    I'm single (recently separated) and have obsessive thoughts about a very powerful narcissist. The relationship started online and, for the most part, I'm the one who will not let go. The guy is clearly fulfilling his need for supply online. What's wrong with me!
    amithecrazyone amithecrazyone 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2013

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    Married To A Narcissist For 21 Yrs!

    I can't believe that I have been so stupid for the last 21 yrs. I know that if I were not depressed for the last twenty yrs my husband could never have pulled the wool over my eyes the way that he has. My husband has been in the army for the past twenty one yrs, so it has been...
    vanecia vanecia 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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    Crazy

    He's driving me Crazy. I feeling I need to be In a mental hospital.
    Likeabird Likeabird 36-40, F 2 Responses May 27, 2012

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    Third Time Is Not A Charm!

    I've dealt with depression all my life, even as a child. I was very empty and had an overwhelming empty, lonely feeling, which I still do to a degree. I saw my first psychiatrist when I was 15. Now, I am a 29 year-old mom of 10 year-old fraternal twin boys. Married at 18, mother...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    A No Win Situation

    I dated an N for a couple of years and saw the warning signs but chose to ignore them. He would vascillate between being my sweet prince charming and an emotionally abusive psycho. We broke up and got back together more times than I can count. What I thought was the last time...
    comfycovers comfycovers 31-35 5 Responses Dec 10, 2011

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    I Married A Narcissist And She Tried To Take Everything I Had

    Hi all, 12 years ago I met a wonderful woman we got together started dating settled down and got married. I thought it was going to be perfect it was Hell on Earth. She came across as very positive, well meaning and supportive. She was a liar controlling, devious and a thief...
    Richard3010 Richard3010 36-40, M 3 Responses Nov 26, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I am a female. I have a narcissistic mother that I don't like at all ( I don't think anybody likes her). I find that even though I dislike her way of being, I always end up in...
    cpshades cpshades 46-50, F 7 hrs ago

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    ...and he is not my husband! I fell out of love with my husband 5 years(?) into the marriage. He traveled a lot with his job and we were in the middle of building our home,leaving...
    SweetPeaLove SweetPeaLove 51-55, F 2 Responses 14 hrs ago

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    Psychology says: The narcissist needs money to maintain the false image and keep them on the pedestal they put their selves on. Money is the enabler that allows them to surround...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    Psychology says: Due to their magical thinking, the narcissist False Self utterly believes that they are unique, omnipotent (all powerful), omniscient (all knowing), in short...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    Psychology says: Narcissists build an inner shrine to themselves where they self-aggrandize to an extraordinary degree so that they can feel intrinsically superior to all others...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 8

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    Psychology says: The narcissist needs money to maintain the false image and keep them on the pedestal they put their selves on. Money is the enabler that allows them to surround...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    Psychology says: The narcissist form of self love is not a healthy one, as they are really full of self-hatred and self-loathing, which they must disown. Unable to love their True...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    Psychology says: Narcissists cannot handle being upstaged in any way; you must not be seen to be more powerful, more successful, more beautiful, more intelligent, in fact “more...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    So I have been in NC with my "mother", father and brother for almost a year. I've never been happier about a decision that I've made, even tho it's been hard mourning the loss of...
    Misstaco Misstaco 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 22

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    I actually met him online. He lived in Europe and I in the US. We fell madly in love, and were in a long distance relationship for 2.5 yrs before I finally was strong enough to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 27

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    30 years later to many affairs to count realizing my husband is a narcissist been pure he'll blame me for everything thinks he's GOD always right he's self absorbed self centered...
    wasted30 wasted30 46-50, F 2 Responses Apr 8

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    Is there anything you can do to push a narcissist over the edge? I read that the only way to control them is to make them fear you. I don't want to invest my energy in that because...
    GetFreeSoon GetFreeSoon 46-50, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I heard a lot about Narcissists being cold and uncaring, so I was surprised when my shrink told me I had some narcissist qualities. I don't have the disorder, just a big shift...
    ordinator169 ordinator169 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 25

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    Psychology says: Ego Psychology uses the term “Narcissism” to describe someone who is self-centered, and in love with their own image (as in the myth of Narcissus...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    Psychology says: A person who is headstrong is one that is determined to have their own way, and often this is achieved through willfulness and obstinacy. Headstrong types are not...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    Hello...... I am hoping somebody could give me some advice, I'll explain my situation and I'll try to keep it short.... I think I have a narcissistic mother. In fact I am pretty...
    blueberry36 blueberry36 36-40, F 2 Responses Apr 11

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    Although perhaps not in the classical definition of the word; as I am apt to say, I am not a vain, self-aggrandizing seeker of attention. I do not love myself -- quite the opposite...
    SisterCyanide SisterCyanide 26-30, T 2 Responses Mar 20

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    Odds are you know some narcissists. Odds are they’re smart, confident and articulate. They make you laugh, they make you think; the first time you met, they probably charmed the...
    BeastFlame BeastFlame 46-50, M Mar 26

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    Psychology says: The narcissists inflated pride convinces them that they are superior to everybody else. In such a place of pridefulness, the narcissist is overly sensitive to...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    My life has been a constant battle in so many ways and i feel i will always have to battle to keep as stable as i can and to stay away from toxic people. I don't hate people that...
    BrokenAngel35 BrokenAngel35 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 23

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    ***Before you read this: I am NOT looking for sympathy and/or pity; I'm trying to explain a little what living with this disorder is like. Please don't feed the narcissist's supply...
    LiquidThinking LiquidThinking 41-45, M 1 Response Mar 30

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    Psychology says: Because of their immense sense and expectation of superior entitlement, narcissists are ungrateful and unthankful for whatever they have been given in life...
    rcp10 rcp10 31-35, F Apr 8

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    Both my parents are career driven individuals who made me more because they had a social obligation to at least produce a child then anything else. By the age of 6 months I was in...
    soliloque soliloque 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    I am not sure if im a narcissist so I want a second opinion on the matter. Ive always had a grand desire for power wealth control etc and always had a grand image of myself as...
    Joshrtty Joshrtty 22-25, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Up until this morning it all was good, to me anyway. I know that marriage is a give and take thing and that couples go thru rough patches but.... After 16+ years she drops a...
    mrhph3 mrhph3 36-40, M 2 Responses 2 hrs ago

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    I am living with a narcissist and it's ruining my life!
    summerfest summerfest 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 23

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    I have a narcissistic mother in law who hates me. My husband went no contact 18 months ago. She keeps guilt tripping & manipulating family members to persuade husband to reconcile...
    l2thedoublej l2thedoublej 26-30, F Mar 24

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    I don't even know where to start. This is my first time trying to reach out and get some help. I am 34 and I have discovered my mom that is 57 is a narcissist. I have all the...
    nomotherlylove nomotherlylove 31-35, F 6 Responses Mar 27

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    So I remember reading this happened to someone else in this experience group. But my birthday is tomorrow. I've had no contact with my narcissistic mother for a few months. Right...
    Tabetha7 Tabetha7 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    My adopted mom reminds me of the movie "Mommie Dearest". She's a very cold, manipulating and narcissistic woman. Wasn't long ago on a Friday afternoon that she showed her true...
    hadyourchance hadyourchance 31-35, F 9 Responses 5 days ago

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    I have recently learned to adapt to my mother's subtle abuse with either a quick retort back or simply not giving her any ammunition to use behind my back. I wrote an earlier...
    amazingyou amazingyou 31-35, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    To complicate matters, I am also married. But I am madly attracted to a male coworker. We are both married teachers and have adjacent classrooms. I've known him for four years and...
    Keeks1 Keeks1 41-45 Mar 26

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