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I Married a Narcissist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 151 People

    It's 9.30pm the evening

    before my daughter birthday. I'm at court on Tuesday the day after. My ex had contact yesterday n took her to his house (not supposed to happen on unsupervised visits in community) for a surprise party. With his family. He's just emailed to ask to talk to her tomorrow. He's...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 5 Responses May 3

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    The Monster I Married...

    I married a man with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (A Malignant Narcissist) 26 years ago. three kids and trillions of tears later, I realized my mistake. I cannot help but feel like the owner of some exotic, wild animal. When you're married to a narcissist, you are...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 14 Responses Oct 1, 2011

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    It is taking every strength in my body to not

    let my NARC have it Tell him all the reasons why I have removed myself Why the behaviour is unacceptable Why the abuse will no longer be tolerated I know he would thrive on the factor and label me crazy But it's so god damn hard to sit back
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 3 Responses Apr 6

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    I'm no stranger to life's "hard knocks".

    I've spent most of my adult life getting sucker punched, but I've always been strong, always picked myself up by the bootstraps while telling life "You hit like a *****." In 2012, for the first time in my life, I was truly in a really good place...great job, financially secure...
    lambchop63 lambchop63 51-55, F 1 Response Jan 9

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    My Narcissist Husband Left Me Destitute

    I started to write my story, but will get back to it.....still quite painful...happy to see there is a forum where I can connect with others who really truly understand and get it. Be back later with my story....
    blarb blarb 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 4, 2010

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    So 4 days ago, my husband was in his separate

    bedroom talking to his Gay Friend Collin with the door closed It was about 10:30 pm, after trying to listen to their conversation I decided to open the door and try to take his locked phone to see what they were talking about Suddenly his eyes glazed over and I became afraid...
    michellegh michellegh 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 17

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    I need help. I'm broken tonight.

    Fourth unsupervised contact. 4 hours each time. Girls come back this evening Youngest says it's boring being with me all the time and she wants to see daddy lots more and sleep over. She wants to live with him. They were talking at swimming pool while my eldest was on slide...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 7 Responses Apr 18

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    I got married at the age of 20.

    My marriage lasted for a mere 7 months, when he decided he was done dealing with all of my issues. I was made to feel like I was worthless and just a terrible person. After two months of confusion, hurt and hatred for myself, I came across an artical on Narcissistic...
    Cay22 Cay22 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 14, 2014

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    Moments to remember..

    . I have asked my attorney to file. Although we have been married 26 years almost, he had me sign a prenup I did not understand. She has been researching ways of breaking it. Either way I want to maintain my dignity. Take the higher road. It is getting harder and harder as...
    frspch frspch 51-55, F 12 Responses Jan 11

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    It Should Have Worked!

    Eleven years ago I married a narcissist.  He was great with my two young boys.  He didn't drink alcohol like my ex.  He wrote me love notes and treated my like a princess.  Sometime after our daughter was born, he started changing.  Quit his job. Took out...
    plantlover plantlover 41-45 7 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    Won't Get Fooled Again

    I only just recently discovered that I was formerly married to a narcissist. I only found that out after having dated a narcissist and trying to figure out what went wrong in that relationship. This guy came on hot and heavy and I played the fool until I helped him get a job...
    DizzyDezzi2010 DizzyDezzi2010 41-45, F Jun 13, 2012

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    Co-parenting with a narcissist advice needed

    I am moving into the final stages of the court system and will need to work out how to co parent with a narcissist. I'm looking at the parenting plan guide I was given but thought I'd ask for help from those of you who co patent with narcs. Here are the first few questions...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 6 Responses Apr 1

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    Third Time Is Not A Charm!

    I've dealt with depression all my life, even as a child. I was very empty and had an overwhelming empty, lonely feeling, which I still do to a degree. I saw my first psychiatrist when I was 15. Now, I am a 29 year-old mom of 10 year-old fraternal twin boys. Married at 18, mother...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    He swooped in, told me everything exactly

    as I wanted agreed with every thought , would sit up all night talking. Poor thing had been so mistreated...if Id only known... From the very first words 10 years ago, until 5 minutes ago, my life has been a fun house of lies, mirrors, turns and twists...it took me years to see...
    50freenflirty 50freenflirty 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 8, 2014

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    After 4 days away , he's home !

    Even my adult daughter said the house has a inner feeling of peace when he's not here Funnily enuf HE blames all the chaos on everyone else Latest childish act.....puts Easter eggs given onto the kitchen bench All control control and to cause grief An attempt to un nerve me...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 6

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    This is a great source explaining what it is

    and ways to spot it. For me, these rang the most true. I should have run many years before I did, but I wouldn't have my youngest who right now is the only one who acts like she loves me. Nil ability to have empathy for the victim or for people connected to the victim – such...
    Gwall1234 Gwall1234 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 7

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    Last supervised contact today.

    Then we moved into unsupervised contact. The games he'll play through my daughters will increase. I feel like I'm conserving energy for the next battle.
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 21

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    UPDATE AFTER GIRLS FIRST VISIT WITH THEIR

    DAD Girls had fun at contact session. He used time to manipulate them and quiz them by pretending he was interested in their lives n didn't no things. He carefully played the visit so the contact worker will write a report with him in best light but he exposed problems with me...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 5 Responses Feb 22

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    Just received my exs proposal

    for future of custody of our girls. None of it puts them first. It's heart breaking the life he wants to force them to live. I'm so scared he'll convince a judge this is acceptable. I just cried when I read it
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 4 Responses May 1

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    Yesterday I went to a pool party with my family

    and my husband checked out every female that was there. Then we get home and he tells me you have gained weight and your thighs are so big. In fact your thighs are so big than when you were pregnant. He hurts my feelings and when he made me cry he says your just too sensitive. I...
    michellegh michellegh 36-40, F 36 Responses Jul 27, 2014

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    I Also Married An N.

    He was wonderful at first. He told me wonderful things about myself that I knew were not true and I, for a little while, found a little courage, with him, that I didn't have before. Because of that, I thought I was doing the right thing by being with him and. . . . .ignored...
    farnel farnel 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 4, 2008

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    Great article. Realize it's NOT you.

    http://blog.melanietoniaevans.com/is-the-narcissist-capable-of-loving/?utm_source=New+Life&utm_campaign=ce3d5aef2e-16+days+to+your+new+life&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_005709a593-ce3d5aef2e-407675261
    Gwall1234 Gwall1234 36-40, F Jun 9

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    My ex will see my girls tomorrow

    for the first time in 10 months. First time since his arrest. First time the courts have let him see them. My girls have said they want to see him but understandably they have been anxious the last few days which has come out in a variety of ways. I've been so focused on them...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 1 Response Feb 20

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    It's been an exhausting two weeks.

    We were in court on Monday. All day. He was off the scale ridiculous. Desperate to control me and have as much power as he can through pretending it was about his love for the girls. He agreed a temporary child arrangement order. And made it clear he still seeks custody. He's...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 8

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    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" Author: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 5 Responses Feb 14, 2014

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    Got gas lighted yesterday.

    Received a text while at work at 330pm saying "can you be back by 430pm, I've got an interview and need you to set the GPS for me". Left work just slightly over 4pm, picked the kids from day care, got home, set it for her, and she was off by 435pm. Started my usual evening...
    koh72 koh72 41-45, M 11 Responses Mar 30

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    Trying to make the narcissist accountable is

    one of the greatest hooks keeping you attached to the narcissist and handing your power over to them. It is essential that you release yourself from the heightened, painful and panicked charge of "needing to win" – needing the narcissist to wake up, and needing other people...
    Gwall1234 Gwall1234 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 20

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    Its just sad and disgusting to talk about people

    who have really strong narcissist traits. Ive been living this hell for almost 2 and a half years. Im the only one who works and provides everything for us and Im still not good enough. He always finds a way to put me down and diminish me. Im a professor, work a lot to support...
    julienne22 julienne22 31-35, F 5 Responses Mar 22

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    They such angry cowards !

    !! Really ? Be thankful you wake up ! Imagine waking up angry everyday ??? Stomp stomp , door slamming, grumbling under breadth But it not them Really funny actually No interaction and still the behaviour continues
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 1 Response Apr 24

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    Well girls are home from last supervised

    contact. He's sent letter with girls from court saying I gota go on parents course on Wednesday. They sent it to old address n he's sat on it so now I've got really short notice for work etc. All games. My youngest said she knows My eldest saw him hit me. He told her that he...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 21

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    In need of self help book recommendations to

    cope with future contact The funding has been cut to the charity offering me counselling after my marriage was destroyed by domestic abuse. I've learnt that the physiological abuse has destroyed me more and now recognise I married a narcissistic man. I still have to resolve...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 3 Responses Jan 10

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    I Married A Narcissist And She Tried To Take Everything I Had

    Hi all, 12 years ago I met a wonderful woman we got together started dating settled down and got married. I thought it was going to be perfect it was Hell on Earth. She came across as very positive, well meaning and supportive. She was a liar controlling, devious and a thief...
    Richard3010 Richard3010 36-40, M 3 Responses Nov 26, 2009

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    pastel29 pastel29 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 18, 2014

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    Wish I'd Had That Protection ...

    Unfortunately, didn't marry - just lived with for a decade so didnt even have that back up! They're dangerous - for a multitude of reasons. Mine obliterated me! Overnight! I no longer suited his purpose. I got too strong. I caught him up - there was probably a ton of reasons. I...
    liguidgold liguidgold 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 7, 2011

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    This was not written by me -

    but it could have been.. Death of the Imaginary Person: Narcissistic Abuse and the Aftermath I am mourning the loss of someone who never existed. What do you do when the wool has been pulled from over your eyes and your heart is broken, specifically when you miss and love...
    lambchop63 lambchop63 51-55, F 4 Responses Jan 9

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    Hey. It's been a busy two weeks.

    Separated parents programme was interesting. Nice to spend time in company of people who share your experiences n frustrations. In one sense it was pointless as it didn't teach me Anything but it was reassuring that id already started implementing the advice n strategies. It...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 1

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    "Just when the caterpillar thought the world

    was over, it became a butterfly" Read the quote the other day n it seemed fitting. I dedicate it to my EP friends Wishing you well in your journey to be butterflies xx
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F Mar 16

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    Struggling with having ex in my world more

    and more. I've set boundaries of how and when we communicate. But sometimes a situation occurs and then I'm all over the place again. Last night my daughters call from his. It's their first full weekend there and so I know I'm vulnerable. I chat with them and it's fine at the...
    Sunrise13 Sunrise13 36-40, F 5 Responses May 24

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    Married To A Narcissist For 21 Yrs!

    I can't believe that I have been so stupid for the last 21 yrs. I know that if I were not depressed for the last twenty yrs my husband could never have pulled the wool over my eyes the way that he has. My husband has been in the army for the past twenty one yrs, so it has been...
    vanecia vanecia 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    caraccaa caraccaa 26-30, F Apr 7

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    I Just Didn't Know!

    My husband fits the classic pattern. He has no ability to empathize. He has no respect for anyone's ideals when they differ from his. He has no ability, no desire to make anybody's life better but his own. He is mean. He is defensive. People have asked me how all this...
    KarynT45 KarynT45 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    3 Years And Counting Trying To Divorce A Narcissist

    So, I married a narcissist.What is worse than marrying a narcissist.  Trying to divorce one, especially if you have children.My ex husband was confirmed as having 'high narcissistic tendencies'.  He is also highly paranoid, suffers from substance abuse, and has had numerous...
    lifebeginsat33 lifebeginsat33 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2011

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