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I Married a Narcissist

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 117 People

    The Monster I Married...

    I married a man with NPD, Narcissistic Personality Disorder (A Malignant Narcissist) 26 years ago. three kids and trillions of tears later, I realized my mistake. I cannot help but feel like the owner of some exotic, wild animal. When you're married to a narcissist, you are...
    OnlyOneChiquita OnlyOneChiquita 41-45, F 14 Responses Oct 1, 2011

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    Godsmacked

    been married a little over a year and i am godsmacked at how my husband has treated me lately. perhaps his mask is wearing thin. everytime i try to talk to him about anything i feel like i've been emotionally raped. he went from being supportive and loving to emotionally cruel...
    kyriblu kyriblu 46-50, F Jul 14, 2012

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    Third Time Is Not A Charm!

    I've dealt with depression all my life, even as a child. I was very empty and had an overwhelming empty, lonely feeling, which I still do to a degree. I saw my first psychiatrist when I was 15. Now, I am a 29 year-old mom of 10 year-old fraternal twin boys. Married at 18, mother...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Oct 31, 2009

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    My narcissist ex is currently refusing a good

    offer on our house. He wants to counter with the full price. Then he says it's my fault that we are going to lose the sale because I refuse to sign the counter offer! So typical. But grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
    rphmom rphmom 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 12

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    A No Win Situation

    I dated an N for a couple of years and saw the warning signs but chose to ignore them. He would vascillate between being my sweet prince charming and an emotionally abusive psycho. We broke up and got back together more times than I can count. What I thought was the last time...
    comfycovers comfycovers 31-35 5 Responses Dec 10, 2011

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    Won't Get Fooled Again

    I only just recently discovered that I was formerly married to a narcissist. I only found that out after having dated a narcissist and trying to figure out what went wrong in that relationship. This guy came on hot and heavy and I played the fool until I helped him get a job...
    DizzyDezzi2010 DizzyDezzi2010 41-45, F Jun 13, 2012

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    Yesterday I went to a pool party with my family

    and my husband checked out every female that was there. Then we get home and he tells me you have gained weight and your thighs are so big. In fact your thighs are so big than when you were pregnant. He hurts my feelings and when he made me cry he says your just too sensitive. I...
    michellegh michellegh 36-40, F 30 Responses Jul 27

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    Narcissist Tendecies

    Hello I'm not sure how to start bit oh boy here it comes.My cousin met his wife fell in love in 2 weeks they got engaged 2mos 9 mos married..Ever since they were married he always have look like something is going on. His wife makes all the decisions.Ok I'm not diagnosing her but...
    Lisa1471 Lisa1471 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    I have been married for 28 years mostly

    miserable years. I stayed for my children not understanding that there father was a narcissist, I thought he was just frugal and made excuses for him because of his upbringing. Now my daughters are suffering because of my ignorance. My oldest is having trouble finding a...
    mltdown mltdown 51-55, F 3 Responses Mar 4

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    The Wishing WellFor my lovely wife: One

    Spring morning, I was walking along in the park.  As I passed the rose garden, out of the corner of my eye I noticed something that I had not noticed before.  It was a stone structure about 3’ high at the back of the garden. A round cedar shake roof was suspended...
    mistery2me mistery2me 46-50, M 2 Responses Nov 19

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    Married To A Narcissist For 21 Yrs!

    I can't believe that I have been so stupid for the last 21 yrs. I know that if I were not depressed for the last twenty yrs my husband could never have pulled the wool over my eyes the way that he has. My husband has been in the army for the past twenty one yrs, so it has been...
    vanecia vanecia 41-45, F 2 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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    I Just Didn't Know!

    My husband fits the classic pattern. He has no ability to empathize. He has no respect for anyone's ideals when they differ from his. He has no ability, no desire to make anybody's life better but his own. He is mean. He is defensive. People have asked me how all this...
    KarynT45 KarynT45 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Wish I'd Had That Protection ...

    Unfortunately, didn't marry - just lived with for a decade so didnt even have that back up! They're dangerous - for a multitude of reasons. Mine obliterated me! Overnight! I no longer suited his purpose. I got too strong. I caught him up - there was probably a ton of reasons. I...
    liguidgold liguidgold 41-45, F 7 Responses Jul 7, 2011

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    I got married at the age of 20.

    My marriage lasted for a mere 7 months, when he decided he was done dealing with all of my issues. I was made to feel like I was worthless and just a terrible person. After two months of confusion, hurt and hatred for myself, I came across an artical on Narcissistic...
    Cay22 Cay22 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 14

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    3 Years And Counting Trying To Divorce A Narcissist

    So, I married a narcissist.What is worse than marrying a narcissist.  Trying to divorce one, especially if you have children.My ex husband was confirmed as having 'high narcissistic tendencies'.  He is also highly paranoid, suffers from substance abuse, and has had numerous...
    lifebeginsat33 lifebeginsat33 31-35, F 2 Responses Nov 23, 2011

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    In July, it will be 8 years married.

    Lucky me. First time on anything on this topic. This is new Sight but I have been on Utube and I can see that is not always all my fault!
    Enabler7 Enabler7 41-45, F 3 Responses May 21

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    My Narcissist Husband Left Me Destitute

    I started to write my story, but will get back to it.....still quite painful...happy to see there is a forum where I can connect with others who really truly understand and get it. Be back later with my story....
    blarb blarb 51-55, F 4 Responses Apr 4, 2010

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    "A Narcissist’s Love Letter" Author: John

    Howell When I say I’m in love with you, I mean I love the way I feel when I’m with you. I love myself through you. I love seeing myself through your eyes. I love seeing myself through my eyes imagining how I look through your eyes. I love having someone new to tell my...
    invisible321 invisible321 51-55, F 4 Responses Feb 14

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    pastel29 pastel29 26-30, F 6 Responses Nov 18

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    Parent Trap I am not an expert,

    but I gather than narcissism can manifest itself in a number of ways.  My assumption would be that different factors are in play as to why that would be the case.  I think that the underlying character of the individual, the particular trauma that may have arrested...
    mistery2me mistery2me 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 12

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    I Care Too Much.

    I have been with my husband for 30 yrs and he is everything you all say about all your partners. My life has been in turmoil for as long as I remember with all the classic feelings you all feel about your Narcissists partners etc. Firstly do you think it could be a learnt...
    mumado mumado 51-55, F Feb 25, 2013

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    Monsterous Creation

    It started with noticing insecurities. General confusion in his life. He didn't know where to go or what to do. So he began taking jobs under people who were abusive. One boss disapproved of him going for two weeks to California for the Marines. He even criticized him after he...
    Tekkamaki Tekkamaki 31-35 Nov 30, 2010

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    14 years!!!!!!!!!! But hey without my complete

    waste if space ex, I wouldn't have finally realised my full potential. I divorced mr loser ,went back to university, graduated and can now after the years of torture this guy inflicted I can now hold my head up high. So cheers my ex narcissist I owe you my happy life now !
    annetteclaire annetteclaire 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 4

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    How Come I Am Obsessed With A Narcisscist? Help!

    I'm single (recently separated) and have obsessive thoughts about a very powerful narcissist. The relationship started online and, for the most part, I'm the one who will not let go. The guy is clearly fulfilling his need for supply online. What's wrong with me!
    amithecrazyone amithecrazyone 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 1, 2013

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    Moving DaySo it has been the situation

    that in addition to the other stresses to the marital state of affairs, we have willingly subjected ourselves to a massive home redo.  While the appellation ‘massive' may be somewhat of a stretch, the project has stretched on and on.  We have been evicted from...
    mistery2me mistery2me 46-50, M 1 Response Nov 23

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    It Should Have Worked!

    Eleven years ago I married a narcissist.  He was great with my two young boys.  He didn't drink alcohol like my ex.  He wrote me love notes and treated my like a princess.  Sometime after our daughter was born, he started changing.  Quit his job. Took out...
    plantlover plantlover 41-45 7 Responses Aug 27, 2008

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    He swooped in, told me everything exactly

    as I wanted agreed with every thought , would sit up all night talking. Poor thing had been so mistreated...if Id only known... From the very first words 10 years ago, until 5 minutes ago, my life has been a fun house of lies, mirrors, turns and twists...it took me years to see...
    50freenflirty 50freenflirty 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I Also Married An N.

    He was wonderful at first. He told me wonderful things about myself that I knew were not true and I, for a little while, found a little courage, with him, that I didn't have before. Because of that, I thought I was doing the right thing by being with him and. . . . .ignored...
    farnel farnel 31-35, F 5 Responses Dec 4, 2008

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    Crazy

    He's driving me Crazy. I feeling I need to be In a mental hospital.
    Likeabird Likeabird 36-40, F 2 Responses May 27, 2012

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    I Married A Narcissist And She Tried To Take Everything I Had

    Hi all, 12 years ago I met a wonderful woman we got together started dating settled down and got married. I thought it was going to be perfect it was Hell on Earth. She came across as very positive, well meaning and supportive. She was a liar controlling, devious and a thief...
    Richard3010 Richard3010 36-40, M 3 Responses Nov 26, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    The apple doesn't fall far from the tree!! What sort of grandmother places $10 in each card EXCEPT for the 4 favourite grandchildren ( children of her daughters ) they get $20...
    fivefoottall fivefoottall 46-50, F 2 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    We are taught growing up that we have to accept people for who they are. I think it's more important to learn to accept yourself and love yourself for who you are. Then you will...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 12 Responses Dec 6

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    I am new to this so please bare with me as I let all this out..... As a child I was controlled and had a strict upbringing. (both my parents were narcissists) My late father made...
    Teeneytinytina Teeneytinytina 46-50, F a week ago

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    The hardest part about being married to a narcissist is their total lack of empathy. We've all heard about empathy and sympathy but not until recently have psychologists...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 7 Responses Dec 11

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    I know, that's not supposed to be possible. People say it's not possible, that I'm deluding myself. I'm looking for a way out, I secretly hate her, we must have a sexless...
    roykirk roykirk 41-45, M 2 Responses Nov 23

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    Is anyone else married to a narcissist and who is also a drug addict.....I need a friend who gets this......help..lol.
    candyone candyone 41-45, F 9 Responses Dec 7

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    So, I was thinking about two of the very few conversations I've had with my STBX, that have had any substance(and when he isn't stonewalling) and something became very clear to me...
    sartur sartur 36-40, F 16 Responses 6 days ago

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    Oh, where to begin... I'm not sure if he has NPD or if he's just very narcissistic, but he's definitely not an easy person to live with. I experienced abuse as a child from my...
    chococat159 chococat159 18-21 Nov 23

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    ...and I'm still recovering. I used to wonder about my father... how little things could send him into a rage. How his words and actions always mismatched the perceived offense...
    DubstepEnderFox DubstepEnderFox 26-30, F Nov 28

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    I am getting out of a thirty-year marriage to a narcissist. I posted a story about a situation that I’m having with my soon to be ex-husband. I received a message from someone...
    miryam57 miryam57 56-60, F 1 Response Dec 5

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    I am 35, and I did not realize that I was raised by a narcissistic mother until last year. It was only then I began to heal and undo the wrong things that I had been taught. It has...
    sueperman sueperman 31-35, F 6 days ago

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    .... To an alcoholic, narcissist, abuser, adulterous, lying, worthless piece of....... And I'm so done. I don't know if I can make it through the holidays. I just want to crawl...
    Lld84 Lld84 26-30, F 4 Responses 6 days ago

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    I admit I'm a narcissist, however I am also manic. I'm a strange person...
    TheAtheistAdvocate TheAtheistAdvocate 16-17, M 1 Response Nov 23

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    Hello, I am here with you all, having a Narcissistic Mother. You all know how awful it is to deal with, can someone please tell me how I can try to live with this? I have already...
    samanthaj27 samanthaj27 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 24

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    17 years with a narcissist and I never even knew there was a name for his abuse :( I was 21 when I got with him, he was 42 and now 17 yrs later I'm just washed up broken, damaged...
    Mieshamooi Mieshamooi 36-40, F 3 Responses Nov 30

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    I am dating a woman who has a child from a narcissistic ex. He has been classified as such by a therapist and psychiatrist, and was very emotionally abusive with my girlfriend when...
    PerseveringMark PerseveringMark 31-35 Dec 3

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    Hi everyone, I'm glad I found this website, and I'm now able to share my story with people who will not judge me or think I'm crazy to think my mother is a narcissist. We all know...
    noite noite 26-30, F Dec 6

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    I am i have been married for 8 years but the older i get the more attraction i feel towards women
    drachenReiter drachenReiter 31-35, F 5 hrs ago

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    How do i know if he's still married? I met this guy two months a go. He's 10 years older than me. From the first time i met him i can totally feel that there was a mutual...
    LovelyLilly13 LovelyLilly13 22-25, F a week ago

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