I Met Chuck Norris Today

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8 People

    Me

    Chuck Norris!
    Chuckn0rris Chuckn0rris
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jul 27, 2012
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 3, 2014

    People say that Godzilla is invincible,

    that is until he met Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 16, 2014

    Chuck Norris eats out only at buffets; no one

    serves Chuck Norris and lives.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 8, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 31, 2014

    Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on

    the same planet with Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 13, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 8, 2014

    When Chuck Norris visits his ranch,

    he always makes sure to take a ride on Sherman, his Cape Buffalo.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 21, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 7, 2014

    At Halloween, ghosts

    and monsters sit around the campfire telling Chuck Norris stories...
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Oct 4, 2014

    Chuck Norris doesn't believe in Santa.

    .. Santa believes in Chuck Norris!!
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jul 9, 2014

    They stoped making Chuck Norris movies

    because you don't watch Chuck Norris he watches you
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 30, 2014

    Noah had two of everything

    and ONE Chuck Norris.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 2, 2014

    Chuck Norris Breakfast: 1 nails,

    2 scorpion tail, 3 deadliest spider venom, and 4, more Chuck Norris
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 8, 2014

    The entire yearly world production of pepper

    spray is created by diluting a single glass of water Chuck Norris fiercely stared at .
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 19, 2014

    On the day God created Adam

    and Eve, Chuck Norris stopped by with a tray of cookies.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 2, 2014

    Chuck Norris is the only man to ever defeat a

    brick wall in a game of tennis.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 5, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 28, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jul 26, 2014
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 12, 2014

    Chuck Norris owns a chain of Starchucks along

    the Pacific north-west, for all your coffee, alcohol and firearms needs.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Jun 6, 2014

    Chuck Norris can swim undisturbed,

    through shark infested waters with 2 pockets full of chum.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    1 Response Aug 2, 2014

    When Chuck Norris was 8,

    he acted out in class and was told to go to the Principals Office for a spanking, so Chuck went to the Office and gave the Principal a spanking.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jun 21, 2014

    The Great Wall of China was originally created

    to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
    jml2000 jml2000
    61-65, M
    2 Responses Jun 14, 2014
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