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I Miss Using Heroin

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 218 People

    Done And Never Going Back.

    I am over this bullsh!t. I need to be or my life will end soon, I can feel it. I'm a better person than I give myself credit for and I can do anything I want or put my mind to. I have always used drugs and drank a lot, but a while ago I started using heroin again in a big way...
    keithstone248 keithstone248 26-30, M 8 Responses Jan 2, 2013

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    Leaving H Behind

    I have four days clean today, thanks to the help of suboxone though. I dont know if i will make it this time i seem to always fail and relapse, so what makes this time different? I have this feeling inside that ill never get clean because my love for heroin is so strong, it...
    taylortarr taylortarr 18-21, F 5 Responses Sep 17, 2012

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    The Photo Has Me Back There!!

    I wasn't going to comment again on how much I miss drugs esp a shot of Heroin, but the dog picture brought it back! Before Xmas we had a lurcher(Whippet/greyhound) Skinny *** dog!! called Nell. She was a terrible handful and I hadn't even wanted a dog, in fact I'm quite...
    cath17 cath17 36-40, F 3 Responses Apr 25, 2012

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    I was an on and off opiate user

    for uears. 28 with a beautiful 5 ur old child. Got clean 6 months ago. Miss that feeling..of scoring..runningupstairs...dumping it spoon..filling the 1cc pin up...mkxing it up..fishing for a vein..finding one..and ahhhhhhh. Been on methadone. Struggling. Sorry for making this...
    confused4244 confused4244 26-30, F 3 Responses Feb 16

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    Heroin Ruined My Life. But Now That I'm Clean I Want To Use So Bad

    I'm a 24 year old musician. I come from a "good" family, went to college, had plenty of opporunities ahead of me. I left my college city and moved to New York about two and a half years ago to pursue a career in music. I made an understandable headway equal to my efforts. But I...
    dafork dafork 22-25 29 Responses Jul 19, 2011

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    Wanna Get Right Back On That Ol' Horse...

    (Horse is an old slang term for heroin.) I miss it almost every day. Pretty weird, huh? It ruined me more than once. I've kicked so many times I can't even remember how many... since my first habit I haven't stayed clean for more than 2 yrs. That was about 15 yrs ago- I couldn't...
    TorturedLittleThing TorturedLittleThing 31-35, F 29 Responses Jun 29, 2008

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    Why Scumbag Junkie ?

    First of all, why re-enforce society's false view that we are all bad people who will steal your possessions, murder you and your family and rape your dog? This demonisation of the addict began around the 1930's when China had a problem with opium and the US was seeking to be a...
    felixq78 felixq78 51-55 11 Responses Dec 21, 2008

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    Clean For Two Weeks

    ive been clean for two weeks now and i think about heroin every second and a way for me to financially maintain a habit. Weed helps a lot. When you're stoned you feel so good to be off junk that u don't crave it at all. being sober and alone is when i can't stop thinking of...
    esantac esantac 26-30, M 3 Responses Oct 30, 2010

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    No Matter What Happens

    you still completely ache for the drug. I lost everything. I mean, I don't have anything worth anything. I only had a couple black trash bags containing my clothes. I haven't used heroin in over two years but I'm still itching for that release. It's like nothing that even...
    lmperry5824 lmperry5824 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 5, 2013

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    Sober Sucks So Far

    This freaking sucks. When does being sober start feeling good??
    amira2 amira2 41-45 6 Responses Mar 9, 2011

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    I Wanna Get High Again

    i just got out of a 28 day rehab where i detoxed cold turkey for the third time. i havent used in almost 5 months. every time i get out of rehab i feel like a new person, like i literally came from another planet before i got clean. Yet into my tenth or eleventh day out i...
    cboNess cboNess 22-25, M 6 Responses Oct 26, 2010

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    Does The Crave Ever Go Away?!

    so saturday i come home from work to my mom crying and my dad standing in front of my stash. my brother thought i needed help and told my parents. i had been wanting to stop using but i wasn't ready yet. i used friday night and was still nodding saturday morning, i had one bag...
    out0fcontrol out0fcontrol 18-21, F 19 Responses Dec 8, 2009

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    I Got the Knowledge

    I've been a junkie scumbag for about 17 years and I have not touched a needle in 7.  Not only can I not get it out of my head, but I still have the same mentality that I was trying to correct by kicking in the first place.  Maybe the same mentality I was trying to...
    MadRavrrrr MadRavrrrr 31-35, M 3 Responses Nov 22, 2008

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    The Fire Inside

    I quit using heroin 2 yrs ago.  There is almost not 1 day that goes by that I don't think about it.  At first it was the anticipation of getting it.  Then fixing it.  Then fixing myself.  That wonderful warm feel good all over sensation.  A feeling...
    darlene darlene 41-45, F 27 Responses Aug 31, 2007

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    Who Would'Ve Thought It Would Have Happened To Me..

    Addiction is one thing I thought I wouldn't have to deal with in my life. It all began when I was 16 and was introduced to prescription pain medication. You think it will just be recreational, no big deal..when I was 18 I started seeing this guy and was taking a couple Vicodin...
    breezy55 breezy55 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2013

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    Heroin From A Current User Of 15yrs

    hi, im still a current heroin user, and have a message to though who have kicked it, and are missing it. at the moment there are very very bad batches of heroin around the country EVERYWHERE. heroin in apperence in every respect, even when injecting a slight heroin high. but its...
    xmitch00ukx xmitch00ukx 31-35, M 10 Responses Nov 13, 2010

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    A Sad But Happy Ending Story

    2 years ago, my best friend who is an addict for 8 years introduced me to H. Back then i only used weed and some prescription drugs casualy. in 2 weeks if i recall well, i moved from sniffing to chasing "smoking". in 1 more month I went IV based on my "best friends...
    mrheses mrheses 22-25 2 Responses Sep 17, 2010

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    Chasing The Dragon

    I stopped using h only a week ago my aches and pains are finaly diminishing, although Im still not able to sleep much. I can't stop thinking about it and how it made me feel even though the pain I went through after stopping was horrible and I think about that too but not nearly...
    Secretdrge Secretdrge 18-21 3 Responses May 7, 2012

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    Goodbye, My Heroin.

    I was a Heroin addict for four years. Opiate addict for five. I was caught last year. June 10th. Caught in a grocery store parking lot buying dope, in a huge sting operation. Luckily my ex boyfriend swallowed the dope, so we didnt catch a posession charge, but, it was...
    lessieloo lessieloo 22-25, F 9 Responses May 18, 2009

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    I Miss It So Much. I Need To Get Over This.

    I've been clean this tme for over 2 months. This is the 5 th time I've tried to beat this and I'm not sure I can do it. I'm not sure I even want to do it. I used to dream of a life where I'd marry the man of my dreams, settle down, have some kids, and spend our lives together...
    IrishMegan88 IrishMegan88 26-30, F 3 Responses Sep 10, 2013

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    Quit 6 Years Ago

    Hi, I quit using heroin 6 years ago. I used every day for at least a decade. I kicked in jail, a few times, but the last time it stuck. I got arrested for dealin H. I did about 2 bundles a day. I remember when I first started, I saw pulp fiction and drove my 16 year old *** down...
    danid187 danid187 31-35 Sep 29, 2010

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    I been sober for exactly 4 months today

    and its been such a hard day for me. I keep arguing with my mom she doesn't understand what it's like to be a recovered heroin addict and it's so hard cause I get no support from anyone. Plus me and my bf of 4.5 years just broke up today. All of this is making me go crazy and I...
    Ukraine91 Ukraine91 22-25 2 Responses Jan 29

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    Addicted

    Ive been addict to heroin/cocaine for 11 years now im on methadone but still using coke im looking for friends cause im really lonley in mpls
    lazdeleon lazdeleon 31-35, F 2 Responses Jun 11, 2012

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    Heroin: My Love Affair

    Six months ago I couldn't even tell you what black tar was. My boyfriend at the time, a serious drug abuser, introduced me to this evil. But it didn't feel evil. As the vapors from the tin foil filled my lungs I instantly developed a new crush. A new relationship was born that...
    asugirl11 asugirl11 18-21, F 3 Responses Jan 22, 2013

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    I Really Miss Heroin

    Hi im 17 recently my dealer moved and its kinda hard finding a new smack dealer, so basically just is there someone willing to sell in MA?
    spikeupmike spikeupmike 16-17, M 4 Responses Apr 21, 2012

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    Never Imagined Being A 'career' Junkie

    to look at me, I am probably the last person who you'd think was an addict. I am an insurance executive, a mother, and a functioning member of society....barely. I have used off and on for 23 years with very little consequences until recently. . my last dance with heroin was a...
    xenni xenni 41-45, F 8 Responses Apr 13, 2012

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    Unfair

    How it all started: Well I don't know.  Here are some reasons I think would be why... Weed no longer got me high The pills I took were sissy stuff that didn't get the job done I wanted to lose weight and I knew heroin would do that I thought it was cool People...
    Samantha244 Samantha244 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 28, 2011

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    No Addict Wants To Be Addicted

    as anyone with problems with heroin will know the price of taking it is always bigger than the payoff in the end. i started taking it when i was 17 im now 26 and thats me just off it now a month but i'll never touch the stuff again because my twin brother overdosed died on 8th...
    Barry26 Barry26 26-30, M 4 Responses May 30, 2012

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    Constant Tapping On My Shoulder .

    I want to use , right now I have a huge craving .This is beyond a joke , a decade since I was an addict will she never leave my head .
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 7 Responses Jan 21, 2012

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    Temptress

    My favourite loverOh how you've burned meI am your's my loverI'll never be truly freeThe rush you give meA feeling that beats allFrom the very first tasteNo idea how hard I'd fallYou beautiful temptressWrap me in a warm glowThat glow didn't last longI soon sunk so lowShe turned...
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 1 Response Aug 24, 2013

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    How It Started

    The first time I smoked it - I was told it was opium. Later I was convinced to "muscle" it. I overdosed and was sick for Days. I was afraid to try it again, but my "friend" convinced me to try a lower dose. Tried it, Loved it, lived & breathed it for the next 2-3 years (it's...
    amira2 amira2 41-45 2 Responses Mar 9, 2011

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    Mother Spoon Calls.......

    On July 8th, 2008 I started at the methadone clinic. Its a day that I celebrate, but also mourn. I've used a handful of time since then. More than 3, less than 7 somewhere in between there. None of those were really satsifying though. In fact I think I only really felt it 2 of...
    Steener2492 Steener2492 26-30, F 11 Responses Dec 6, 2010

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    The Costs

    Mid 2008 is when opiates came into my life. I had hated them until that point. When I was prescribed them I would quickly sell them and get weed. At 33 something switched in my brain. I loved them! At first in the form of percs or vics. Then the 80mg oxys came into the picture...
    SlightlyStoopid73 SlightlyStoopid73 36-40, M Aug 1, 2012

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    2yrs

    and still, I cant get it out of my head. I used to be a ********. I would get all strung out before i went on stage. They would play something good like Passenger which is by the Deftones ft Maynerd or something. Anyway, that song makes me feel like heroin. Sometimes I miss that...
    JoyfulSilhouette JoyfulSilhouette 22-25 4 Responses Sep 10, 2012

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    I Dont Know How Much Longer

    i am 19 years old. i started using when i was 18, and i used intraveniously every.single.day. multiple times a day for about a year. i am now 160 days sober to the date, but i dont know how much longer i can make it last. i didnt quit for myself, i quit for my family and the few...
    SarawAnn SarawAnn 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 9, 2013

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    I Miss Dancin' With Mr. Brownstone

    It's been some time since I used any H, (shooting or snorting) I sure do miss it though! It's nights like this that make it hard to stop. Nothing bad happened today, I actually had a pretty good day at work. I just think about it often and really want to use again. I'm drunk...
    keithstone248 keithstone248 26-30, M 5 Responses Feb 26, 2013

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    I Was Gonna Be Someone

    I was never going to be a 35 year old women thinking of it , lying about it . Damn lying to myself . Nah I'm good , just use once a week . Look you're working , taking care of your kids , yep yep all good . No I'm no longer an addict , I don't use every day . **** up Gem , you...
    certifiable certifiable 70+, F 1 Response Feb 6, 2013

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    So Much It Hurtz..

    Hardest thing I have ever had to do.. n each day that passes doesn't seem to get easier
    HooDxPRiiNCESS HooDxPRiiNCESS 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 15, 2010

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    moved to north jersey

    and have been **** outta luck when it comes to h... if anyone can help me ill pay double whatever price you pay
    jdog0921 jdog0921 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 9

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    Story

    just moved to nh, used for years, cleaned up, had a very short relapse and now am trying to find suboxones.
    keijei21 keijei21 22-25 1 Response Mar 23, 2012

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    Clean For Eight Years

    I used heroin intensely during two periods of my life. The first was in the Lower East Side of Manhattan when I was in a serious Jim Caroll phase (R.I.P. Jim). The previous poster was wondering why it is assumed that all junkies are scum. That's tough to answer, because...
    dukeofurl dukeofurl 41-45, M 6 Responses Nov 16, 2009

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    Hate To Love You

    You gave me many promises And fufilled them all in such a sick way You wrapped me in your receiving arms And away with you I went Overtaken by the warmth and bliss You swiftly quieted my mind And took all the pain away The pain i didnt even know was there But to me you...
    SarawAnn SarawAnn 18-21, F 3 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    Memories I Cannot Escape

    I lie here next to you With your skin so clammy, it sticks to mine The smell of stomach acid on your breath When was the last time youve even eaten In the darkness not wanting to see that look in your blue eyes So clouded with pupils so pinned I quiet myself to listen for...
    SarawAnn SarawAnn 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2013

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    I Can Accept That The Craving Never Goes Away.

    OMG, I was at lunch, and someone opened a bag of vinegar and salt chips. The wind blew the smell my direction, and the crave kicked in. It's been 10 years since I lasted used. But, like a bad childhood, there are still fond memories.
    onemug onemug 36-40 3 Responses Mar 21, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    It all started when i was 18 and got my first bf n i was obsessed with him, he was tough n i was getting bullied, but not when he was around!! I looked up to him. Then he ended up...
    quietgirl14 quietgirl14 26-30, F 12 hrs ago

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    I need help. I have been using Heroin for two years now. It used to be fun but now I am sick everyday and I just want to die. I live in Anniston, Alabama. I cannot afford treatment...
    tenths14 tenths14 22-25, F 3 Responses 3 days ago

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    He was my everything. I met my husband two years ago at an AA meeting. He was in rehab for a heroin addiction, fresh out of prison, and looking for a new life. I was a recovering...
    cantsavehim cantsavehim 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I lost my little brother to a heroin overdose two years ago. He was nineteen, only a year younger than me. I had no memory of a life without him. He was my best friend and we were...
    MonetChere MonetChere 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I'm 35 I was on heroin for 6 yrs and now on suboxion for 3 I've been using in off and on i moved to GA....no lookin..help me out
    misslynxs misslynxs 31-35, F 1 Response Aug 7

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    The movie was well gained, Even though Rice was at first pretty outspoken in her criticism of Cruise possessing been Forged within the movie, as Julian Sands was her initial...
    Tysonlk318 Tysonlk318 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 11

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    Your meta description is simply too extended! You must look at make it shorter than 155-160 people! WEBTARANTULA ADVICE: Meta description will have to explain very well material...
    Madonnadz Madonnadz 31-35, M 1 Response 9 hrs ago

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    My 22year old son snorted heroin for 10 months last year. I found out on Jan 31and got him into am outpatient program in early Feb. he stayed clean for 5 months and then relapsed...
    SweetPeaLove SweetPeaLove 51-55, F Aug 4

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