I love when guys use pick-up lines on me! I think its adorable.
the best one from my bf when we first started dating:
if I let you sit on my face, could I eat my way to your heart?
I remember a real old & bad one...
he: Is your name Gillette?
she: no! why?
he: cuz you're the best a man can get... xD xP :D xD
Do you want to come over to my place and feed your beaver some wood?
Hey, baby, wanna lock crotches and swap gravy?
I would **** you so hard, you'd learn from it.
Sex is Evil; Evil is Sin; Sin is forgiven; so let's begin.
So... what are the chances of my balls slappin' your *** tonight?
yeah, it's big and if you pet it, it spits.
An oldie... 'the only reason i would kick you of bed is to **** you on the floor.'
What has 36 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
would you like a Gin and platonic or do you prefer Scotch and sofa?
Are those **** me eyes, or **** you eyes?
looks don't matter, I'll just wrap you in a flag and **** you for glory.
Wanna tickle my Oscar Meyer Wiener?
we'll probably never see each other again, so let's screw.
Let's play Barbie. I'll be Ken and you can be the box I come in.
the FBI wants to steal my penis. Can I hide it inside you?
you make me want to calibrate my joystick without the latest drivers
you look familiar, have we had sex before?
I'm no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonite
Really need a boyfriend 😂
I love my children, but I feel horrible today.
My sons school is holding an assembly today. My oldest has been awarded the "Steve jobs award" in his grade for showing success and...
Kids are awesome. the process from making them to the time they bless us with their arrival is a joy to behold. The smile on their face is only outdone by the smile on ours. Can't...
I am not your baby. You do not know me, and unless and until I allow you to, I am your nothing.
I can be incredibly bad at pick up lines enjoy my failure
Hey girl/dude did you fall from heaven, cause you look like you've been in a terrible accident
Wanna go out for inner?
I think you forgot the "d"
No I didn't. You'll get that after we eat.
Hey are u a ion because you stole one of my electrons
I once read
"I would gauge your eyes out so Id have more holes to screw you with"
I would go out with someone that was creative enough to come up with that lol
They are a little dense, but very polite and friendly. They have a game they call CFL football. Just to share how dense they are they punt on the 3rd down ( just to be safe...
I had the privilege of having all three of my children home this past weekend. We were celebrating my youngest daughter completing her degree, and took the opportunity to decorate...
You jiggle when you giggle baby. In all the right places.
LOl I often see parents that don't act like parents, the kids are doing whatever and the parents just stand there watching and letting it happen. At times this really irks me, the...
yeah No, No,No!!! kids are annoying these days! parents must teach them to be nice
"Can I borrow a kiss? I promise I'll give it back!"
"On a scale of 1 to 10, you're a 9. I'm the 1 you need!"
While I'm on ranting about horrible children, here is another example of feral youths that if your dog behaved this way, you'd have it put down!