Today at school, A kid got suspended. Now this isn't any normal suspension. This kid literally has been at this school for 2 months. He "supposedly" came here from Mexico and...
The moment someone sprouts a lame pick up line and I can't reply because it was just that funny....
This is a cool one. It is so funny.
I'll send a picture of me if you'll send me a picture of you ??????? wait that's not funny! Nor is it appropriate!
Well, the witty ones are, they're not mean-spirited and it's all in good fun.
Hey baby are you a parking ticket; because your looking fine? -Glen Quagmire 2008
They do make me laugh...
Do they not even realize how incredibly entertaining they are? How their whole world exists around you?
Yes they do make me laugh.... :D
I love it when guy(let's be honest here, I've never been asked this by a girl!) think all they have to do is message me twice then I'll give them my phone number!
Q. What is 6.9?
A. A great thing ruined by a period.
My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it in. :-)
Baby did you fart, cause you just blown me away!
I love you like diarrhea, I can't hold it in
Girl ate you my appendix? Because this feeling in my stomach makes me wanna take you out
Hey baby I'm thinking of a letter between T and V guess what it is? Its you! -Glen Quagmire 2008
My love for you is like diarrhea; I just can't hold it in. -Smosh 2014
Did you just fart? Because you blew me away. -Smosh 2014
Hey I know a guy who wants to go out babe; guess who it is? It's me! -Glen Quagmire 2008
Did it hurt much falling from heaven?
I know someone who likes you. ..kiss me and I'll tell you who he is.
Does this (rag soaked in chloroform) smell like puppies breath or fresh baked cookies? Lol jk
Don't let this rape turn into a murder
You must be tired because you've been running though my mind all night
..... ... .. . .Get in the van
hi there.. you're very beautiful. do you have any German or swede in you? ...want some?
my penis is still erect. ..hey wait. You're not my doctor. but thats no reason why we can't "practice." ;)
who's your agent? wanna make a movie?
if I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me? ...please..?
My kiddos been sick :(
She's had an infection, the medication they put her on she had an adverse reaction to it turning bright pinkish red from head to toe with fever, chills and...
Nope not me. In the beginning I wanted them and now I rather tie my tubes. I just cringe when I see babies and kids. I lived with my ex bf and his sister who had 2 and at the end...
Once a week I volunteer at the local Red Cross office helping kids with family or school problems to help them study or do their homework. What was supposed to be a gratifying...
Kids are very selfish
They HAVE to be the center of attention at all times regardless of where they are even when leaving a store for crying out loud
They are extremely annoying!
I do feel comfortable enough with my cycle to predict with certainty when I am fertile and when I am not so I definitely won't think of any other control birth bullshit (sorry...
My kids are turning into these little people with big personalities, independent thinking habits, and stomachs with no bottom. I'm missing the baby stage...and I don't want them to...
Terminator and the movie 9 are all true. Humanity's blind pursuit for technology just might be the end of us. The extinction of humanity might be our fault. Our pursuit on creating...
I'm on a web site that Yahoo News linked me too. I have been laughing so much from what I'm reading. I'm gonna bookmark the site. In the meantime, I'm gonna post some rather...
My husband and I I just started an Indiegogo campaign to help raise funds for her IVF medications. What are the recommended avenues for getting the word out? The campaign is here...
There not mine but I use to baby sit them but now I'm stuck with them because there parents don't want them I'm so in love with these 2 boys I would do anything to keep them safe...
Yessss! People who are smart and funny are amazing. Others think its funny to act dumb. But its really not.