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I My Spouse Or Partner Has Asperger's Syndrome

Do you think you are with an aspie? This is the group for you! 684 People

    "It is his way." .

    It has been just over a year since my husband announced to me that he scored very close to being an Aspie on a test he took. And ever since it is common to hear him say, "It's an aspie thing." My daughter and son in law think it is just an excuse for bad behavior. I'm not...
    thislittlelifeofmine thislittlelifeofmine 61-65, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2013

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    Cassandra Syndrome

    I was an emotional wreck when I met him, I was 25 and divorced with an 18 mo daughter. He represented the security I longed for. He was the strong  silent type, good-looking, the perfect husband. So what if he was a little cold and distant? I figured this was the price of...
    magicbeet magicbeet 36-40, F 27 Responses Jul 14, 2011

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    Feeling Frustrated!

    I have almost completely given up on my relationship of 21 years. I so, so long to be able to speak to my spouse about something without him getting angry and defensive. It can be a little thing that I thought was funny or exciting that happened to me and when I try to share it...
    rubymonday rubymonday 36-40 3 Responses Mar 24, 2013

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    Has anyone tried Neurofeedback?

    I have read that individuals on the spectrum have great results with this treatment. I met with a therapist that is specialized in this and we are hoping to get started next month. I will post if there are any positive results!
    Jenni720 Jenni720 26-30, F Mar 5

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    I have e been married

    for 20 years to a man who I suspect has HFA We have split up many times but ended up back together..we live apart a lot of the time...he is incapable of discussing our problems and takes any criticism by lashing out at me...I feel so full of resentment and anger I don't have any...
    Cls99 Cls99 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Just Realized What Is Going On.

    I have been with my husband for seven years plus two dating and cant believe that it has taken me this long to put all the pieces together. The signs/ red flags were all there. many many stories just like the ones I have read about in this blog. I have been in disbelieve for so...
    sameostuff sameostuff 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 19, 2012

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    I have never posted to a forum such

    as this. Things have gotten really bad for me. I am married to a man that I suspect has AS. We have a child who was recently tested and it was discovered that there is a social delay. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and things are up and down, but mostly bad...
    faithfulhope faithfulhope 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 5

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    I think my husband too has this syndrome.

    .i dnt hv a clue y he was odd until yesterday.. We stopped talking n he is talking to me only if he is going out.. Thats also just to inform.. He cant talk to my face bt good in txting.. I cnt live lik this.. Im just moved in wth him nt even three months.. Wt shud i do???
    helpnu helpnu 26-30 Dec 23, 2013

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    Non Relationship

    My hubby of 7 years can go weeks barely speaking to me. he tells my friend things he should tell me and then my friend tells me. When I bring it up he always says he told me. I get so tired of being married but not having a partner. i work more hours, do most of the house work...
    crazk crazk 36-40, F 5 Responses May 21, 2010

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    Whole Family of Aspies

    When our son was in 3rd grade, a teacher suggested that he might have Asperger's.  I went immeditely into denial.  My husband went home and got on the internet and read a lot of stuff and self diagnosed three days later. Now, 6 years later, I know that both my sons and...
    SheelaNGig SheelaNGig 46-50, F 10 Responses Dec 29, 2008

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    I Find Myself At A Loss... Again.

    My husband and I have been on the verge of divorce for almost two years. As most of you here can relate to, I'm sure, I have tried EVERYTHING to improve and save our marriage. All for nothing... Most of the pain I feel in our marriage is from how he treats our children. He is...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 18, 2013

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    So Depressing

    It's so depressing to find out the problem after a year of being with my boyfriend. Yes, he has Asperger's. For so long, I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought the reason he hurt my feelings and neglected me was somehow MY fault. He seemed like such a nice person, I...
    vavaviolet vavaviolet 41-45 12 Responses Apr 3, 2012

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    Living With An Aspergers Spouse, A Daily Struggle!

    I have been married to a dependable, honest and caring man for almost 20 years. He is an undiagnosed case of aspergers and we have a 14 year old son on the Autism spectrum quite high functioning. It is almost enough to drive a spouse crazy dealing with the unpredictability of a...
    rubymonday rubymonday 36-40 18 Responses Mar 19, 2012

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    I'm at a crossroads now,

    as I have four young children with my husband of 8 years, who has undiagnosed Autism. I have always just given my husband his way. I thought I was just making him happy, and that made me happy. Until I realized that if he does not get his way, I do not deserve to be talked to...
    GMetz34 GMetz34 31-35, F Mar 20

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    Hope: 5 Stages Of Loss

    I am going to start this by explaining that I am a nurse.  I am married to a man I believe has asperger's.  He is not diagnosed, but fits the description perfectly and every quiz he has taken (or I have taken for him) has confirmed my suspicions. Suddenly all the weirdness of...
    jends jends 26-30 48 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    My name is Lane. I am 18

    and my boyfriend, Jack, is 20. He was diagnosed with Aspergus when before he started primary school. I made this account because as I was reading all of these stories I just started crying.. You all have so much more knowledge and experience when it comes to an Aspie man, and I...
    Lainellen Lainellen 18-21, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Would You Marry Your Aspie Again?

    I have a developing relationship with a man that I am very confident has Asperger's. In the first few months of our friendship he seemed quirky but harmless, but once we got to know each other and the friendship deepened I began noticing things. Things that really didn't make...
    Truthquest Truthquest 46-50, F 14 Responses Sep 3, 2012

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    My aspergers ex wrote this.

    "Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back" How should I interpret it???
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F Dec 24, 2013

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    I am adult ADHD and have Parkinson's.

    My wife has Asperger's and various chronic illnesses. I love my wife dearly, but most of our marriage I've wondered whether she loves me. I know she's a good person, but so many things she does are so cruel. Then again, I know I'm a good person too, and looking back I realize...
    rw57 rw57 56-60, M Mar 22

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    When Your Loneliness Overwhelms You, He's Still With You.

    The experience of fighting with someone who has Aspergers is difficult to articulate to someone who has never gone through it. Yet those reading this already know what I mean without me having to expound. I digress knowing that you know, but sharing a few examples: 1) Brunt and...
    Rebecca0071 Rebecca0071 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 19, 2013

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    I found this website today trying to make sense

    of my marriage. My Aspie husband and I just spend an hour arguing b/c he wouldn't take our son to get a haircut. I asked him 2-3 wks ago to do it and he said he would but never did. He went into a big explanation of how he "hadn't actually decided to do it yet. He was still...
    Holidaynapril Holidaynapril 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    Lonely And Depresed

    Hi my partner of 5 years is an aspie. I am always alone.Days will go by and he will not come to bed. I beg and plead for time with him annd he doesn't car.I am so hurt and lonely .please help me understand and thank you
    lonelyandconfiused lonelyandconfiused 41-45, F 1 Response Nov 21, 2013

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    Ah, Yes... Now It All Makes Sense.

    I just realized my husband of 3 years has Asperger's.  I always knew something was different, but I just assumed he was your typical smart, nerdy guy who was a bit socially awkward.  But, alas, that is not the case.  My man is quite clueless with non-verbal cues...
    Bella724 Bella724 26-30, F 15 Responses Oct 10, 2010

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    I have been doing a lot

    if research on AS and I am almost 100 percent sure my husband has it. In the beginning I was attracted to him because he was SO different. I had been with a real piece of work for almost four years and when I met my husband I remember just almost feeling like I had stars in my...
    Allaboutaddi Allaboutaddi 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    My boyfriend has aspergers

    and says he is unable to marry me. Recently he tried to separate up with me and told me that he was in love with his ex and that's why he couldn't be with me. He thinks by telling me that he loves someone else and that's the reason he can't be with me would help my confidence...
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 6, 2013

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    Please Help Me, Does My Husband Have Aspergers?

    I'm at my wits end today as I write this. We've been together for 8 years now, have 3 children and our relationship has always been difficult. I'm not saying I am a perfect person with no faults either, God knows I have many...it's just I don't know how much longer I can deal...
    arohaleah arohaleah 36-40 3 Responses Jul 21, 2012

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    My husband and I have been married

    for 16 years and we have just come to the conclusion he is an aspie. Over the years he has been diagnosed with depression, ADD, ADHD and overly medicated. It has been a really rough road for me, my kids and my husband. He feels misunderstood and I feel used and abused ( not...
    lcmoffa lcmoffa 46-50, F 3 Responses Jan 16

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    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Oct 21, 2013

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    Near End

    It's getting close to the moment when I realize for certain that enough is enough and that is not going to change. We've been together for a little over a year now. The first six months or so were great. He was attentive, almost obsessive. He has not been home in three days...
    zorla zorla 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 16, 2011

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    I've Reached The End Of The Road ...

    where to start .... there is so much to say but I feel so desperate that I feel compelled to warn anybody that if you suspect your partner has aspergers just get out as soon as possible. I have lost my happiness, my health, and all of my money in pursuit of a man who has...
    bellagondris bellagondris 46-50, F 3 Responses Dec 21, 2012

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    I was just listening to Billie Holiday's

    rendition of "A Fine Romance"... holy crap! It MUST have been written about an Aspie... Judge for yourselves, but it sounds like it should be dedicated to my husband. "A fine romance with no kisses A fine romance, my friend this is We should be like A couple of hot tomatoes...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Dec 9, 2013

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    My boyfriend has Asperger's Syndrome.

    For the most part it doesn't affect our relationship or communication negatively, except when we disagree about something or get into a fight. Also sometimes he doesn't pick up on the fact that when I'm upset I just want a hug and for him to listen, little things like that. I...
    mandypandy72 mandypandy72 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 23

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    I suffer from life long mental health concerns

    that are at times crippling. I do my best to have self awareness and to be accountable to maintaining and treating my condition. I am married to a newly diagnosed Aspie who rarely notices when I am unwell and I have very little support when I need it. He also requires that I...
    DeadHeaven DeadHeaven 41-45, F 1 Response Jan 12

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    On The Road At Last!

    Hi - I've posted about this before (when it was just a theory!) and now, today, it's starting to become a reality. This website WILL happen. If you are an NT partner and have been struggling with getting support, advice and resources, it hopes to help you: a) to understand...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007 51-55 Oct 23, 2013

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    A Realization...

    Just now I was reading some older stories to help me feel less lonely, and I came across a response to a story that really resonated with me. This is part of what the response said "He continues to be selfish and I allow him to, even apologizing for being upset when I have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    I Am Considering Divorce

    Well, here I am...after all the tears, the fighting, trying to change him, trying to change myself, feeling guilty, feeling lost, feeling hopeless... Some things have become better. He spent more time with me, stopped working on his special interest on weekends. BUT I found out...
    Habitate Habitate 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 28, 2013

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    Ready Or Not . . .without You, Here I Go.

    I am getting really antsy because I called a counciling office today and set up an appointment.  Finally I have worked up the courage to do it.  I wanted to talk to a psychologist with my husband before we got married because we had fights and such.  I wanted our marriage to...
    jends jends 26-30 5 Responses Feb 21, 2012

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    Top Three Reasons I Love My Aspie

    There are a few posts up here wanting to put a positive spin on loving an Aspie and I think that is what we all need. I have been reading a book called Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner by Cindy Ariel. I highly recommend this...
    gingerxbaybee gingerxbaybee 22-25 8 Responses Oct 6, 2012

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    I have never posted to a forum such

    as this. Things have gotten really bad for me. I am married to a man that I suspect has AS. We have a child who was recently tested and it was discovered that there is a social delay. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and things are up and down, but mostly bad...
    faithfulhope faithfulhope 26-30, F Feb 5

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    Pretty Sure My Husband Has Aspergers, Feel So Angry And Disappointed

    Together for about 25 years now, he always seemed different (shy, social anxiety, trouble with change, weird outbursts at times, never able to make bond with my son), but somehow it kind of worked. For many years I felt happy with him. Then we had a child of our own. He...
    LindaTGJ LindaTGJ 56-60, F 4 Responses Aug 1, 2011

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    My Husband Has Aspers

    hi everyone i joined this group as i feel like i need some help or people going through and understand what im going through..i married my husband almost a year ago..he is the love of my life,my world i love him so much..but sometimes he really hurts my feelings by saying things...
    sydney2009 sydney2009 22-25 23 Responses Aug 10, 2009

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    Lonely, Insecure, And In Love With An Aspie (?)

    I have been in a relationship with what I am pretty sure is an Aspie (male) for 2 1/2 years now. It has been an extraordinarily painful, frustrating, ambiguous, maddening, and psychologically damaging (to my ego and emotional sanity) odyssey. I am only still in the relationship...
    pebbles111 pebbles111 41-45 3 Responses Jul 25, 2012

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    Not So Sure Anymore

    I have been added to this group and have been reading stories and other sources for a few months now. I was totally convinced that my boyfriend was an aspie. I was desperate to pinpoint the problems in our relationship, because I knew we were better than that, and I just wanted...
    hazelwoodd hazelwoodd 26-30, F 1 Response Nov 15, 2013

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    High Functioning Adult = Low Functioning Spouse

    Ok, so low functioning perhaps not the right words to use, but boy do I feel like that sometimes. This is suppose to be a safe place, so hopefully I won't be judged too much :} My husband of 20 years (I'm 38 he's 45) has been diagnosed recently. As many people here who are...
    perspectives perspectives 36-40, F 13 Responses Feb 25, 2012

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    Aspergers And Selfishness

    My resolve to criticise less, hold my tongue and see amazing results didn't last long. Last week Ethan came home with an iPad. A week earlier we'd had a discussion that went something like this: Ethan: Do you think we should get an iPad. Me: Absolutely not. Why do we need one...
    muddlingthroughaspergers muddlingthroughaspergers 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 22, 2013

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    Ppl change.Flngs change.

    It dusnt mean that luv 1nc shared wasnt tru & real.It simply just means that sumtyms wen ppl grow, they grow apart. How would someone with aspergers interpret this?
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    Help

    I don't even know where to start . . I know I am going to write a book here . . but I have been waiting so long to talk to someone. I have been married to my husband three years now. I am so alone. We dated for four years and I noticed he was different . . but I guess that is...
    jends jends 26-30 10 Responses Jan 4, 2012

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    Twenty Years

    Somehow I've managed to love my aspie for 20 years. He doesn't think the same way I do and gets angry and jealous with me when he misinterprets what I say. I long for normalcy, for someone who is a true partner. I'm tired of feeling alone in this struggle; of having to manage...
    FullofSorrow FullofSorrow 51-55, F 1 Response Nov 13, 2013

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    Why Does He Push Me Away Just When Things Are Getting Good?

    I have been dating a man for the last 1 1/2 years.  To my knowledge, he is not aware that he has Aspergers, but I am 99% certain that he does. There were definitely sparks flying for both of us when we first went out.  I was confused by his blunt, inappropriate...
    es42 es42 41-45 10 Responses Aug 23, 2010

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    I Have Left Him

    After 22 years, I have asked for a divorce, that I could not give him the love he deserves. So, he told me to leave, now the house is in a shambles, and he is trying to take over the responsibility of paying the bills that he can pay. He is on disablility and sometimes gets odd...
    LaurensMom19 LaurensMom19 46-50 5 Responses Feb 22, 2013

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    Times, They Are A Changing.

    What the heck is going on here? I mean, I say this on a daily basis while living with a husband who is an aspie. Over the past couple of months I have strictly thought about putting into action my divorce. I recently thought about a question that he asked me sometime ago, about...
    Misspurple Misspurple 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 19, 2012

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    It Is All Making Sense And I Do Not Know What To Do...i Need Support So Ive Come Here.

    below i have written a couple of recent experiences that i have had with my partner.  we have been together for a year and a half and i have known him for 8 years.  i am very much in love with him.  it is the walking on eggshells or trying to explain what i am feeling or...
    sweeteuphoria sweeteuphoria 26-30 7 Responses Jan 24, 2012

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    He aspi, has ignored me

    for 2 months now above the regular ignoring as if that weren't enough already. His latest specia interest besides his laptop is his childs toy, a technical game that resides on the cell phone. Since we both work and have kids with busy lives and schedules we have very limited...
    Telah Telah 46-50, F 2 Responses Feb 2

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    My Nt Wife And The Impact Of My As

    I have AS and as a result I have had a significant impact on the mental health of my wife. I was in denial of my condition and as a result my marriage has suffered. My wife needs a seperation to heal and I need to grow as a person. I know, that with professional help I will learn...
    lifestartsagain lifestartsagain 41-45 23 Responses Jun 24, 2012

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    New Website For NT Partners!

    Hi - I've posted about this before (when it was just a theory!) and now, today, it's starting to become a reality. This website WILL happen. If you are an NT partner and have been struggling with getting support, advice and resources, it hopes to help you: a) to understand...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007 51-55 Oct 23, 2013

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    My ex wrote "I miss you,

    like the desserts miss the rain" He has aspergers. Do u think he's feeling the same pain as I am??
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 19, 2013

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    I have been married for 8 years to a man

    that has AS. It is very challenging and I am at a point where I need support from people who get it. My friends and therapist have told me that his behavior is abusive. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't see how that is the case. I have read what many people...
    Jenni720 Jenni720 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 5