Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I My Spouse Or Partner Has Asperger's Syndrome

Do you think you are with an aspie? This is the group for you! 979 People

    This will be long and rambly,

    mostly because this is the first place I've found where I can vent to others who may be in similar situations that’s not FB related where everyone I know might see it. I've been dating my boyfriend (P) for about 6 months now. He has not been formally diagnosed, but he...
    lisabug75 lisabug75 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm at a crossroads now,

    as I have four young children with my husband of 8 years, who has undiagnosed Autism. I have always just given my husband his way. I thought I was just making him happy, and that made me happy. Until I realized that if he does not get his way, I do not deserve to be talked to...
    GMetz34 GMetz34 31-35, F 1 Response Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm learning to deal with Asperger

    since my partner and his son moved with me and my son; his son has asperger and we have just known about it, it helps us to explain things... now I'm thinking my partner also has asperger but has not been diagnosed. He constantly shuts down with "normal" stressing things, he's...
    moniperu moniperu 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It makes me so sad to write this,

    but I think it's over. I can't continue in a marriage that is so one-sided and hurtful. I want so badly to keep my family together, but trying to make it work with someone who has no regard for anyone but himself is breaking my spirit. I am exhausted. I am no quitter, but after...
    Elasticgirl Elasticgirl 36-40, F 2 Responses Oct 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have e been married

    for 20 years to a man who I suspect has HFA We have split up many times but ended up back together..we live apart a lot of the time...he is incapable of discussing our problems and takes any criticism by lashing out at me...I feel so full of resentment and anger I don't have any...
    Cls99 Cls99 51-55, F 3 Responses Feb 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Think My Husband Has Asperger's Syndrome, But He Denies It.

    Hi, my name is Corina and I think my husband has Asperger's syndrome, but he denies it.  I met my husband Peter when we were very young and two years later we became a couple. Now, 20 years later, we still are. When I was young, I had never heard of Asperger's. I only...
    corina72 corina72 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 21, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Cassandra Syndrome

    I was an emotional wreck when I met him, I was 25 and divorced with an 18 mo daughter. He represented the security I longed for. He was the strong  silent type, good-looking, the perfect husband. So what if he was a little cold and distant? I figured this was the price of...
    magicbeet magicbeet 36-40, F 30 Responses Jul 14, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Pretty Sure My Husband Has Aspergers, Feel So Angry And Disappointed

    Together for about 25 years now, he always seemed different (shy, social anxiety, trouble with change, weird outbursts at times, never able to make bond with my son), but somehow it kind of worked. For many years I felt happy with him. Then we had a child of our own. He...
    LindaTGJ LindaTGJ 56-60, F 5 Responses Aug 1, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My husband and I have been married

    for 16 years and we have just come to the conclusion he is an aspie. Over the years he has been diagnosed with depression, ADD, ADHD and overly medicated. It has been a really rough road for me, my kids and my husband. He feels misunderstood and I feel used and abused ( not...
    lcmoffa lcmoffa 46-50, F 5 Responses Jan 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Lonely, Insecure, And In Love With An Aspie (?)

    I have been in a relationship with what I am pretty sure is an Aspie (male) for 2 1/2 years now. It has been an extraordinarily painful, frustrating, ambiguous, maddening, and psychologically damaging (to my ego and emotional sanity) odyssey. I am only still in the relationship...
    pebbles111 pebbles111 41-45 4 Responses Jul 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hope: 5 Stages Of Loss

    I am going to start this by explaining that I am a nurse.  I am married to a man I believe has asperger's.  He is not diagnosed, but fits the description perfectly and every quiz he has taken (or I have taken for him) has confirmed my suspicions. Suddenly all the weirdness of...
    jends jends 26-30 55 Responses Jan 30, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have a book that would be extremely helpful

    for this group! The other half of Asperger Syndrome by Maxine C. Aston. I am married to an Aspie and we have a daughter now and so with everything this year has brought us, this book has been so helpful to us both. I got it on Amazon and I think it was pretty cheap. Check it out...
    Allaboutaddi Allaboutaddi 22-25, F 3 Responses Jun 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have never posted to a forum such

    as this. Things have gotten really bad for me. I am married to a man that I suspect has AS. We have a child who was recently tested and it was discovered that there is a social delay. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and things are up and down, but mostly bad...
    faithfulhope faithfulhope 26-30, F 6 Responses Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Just Realized What Is Going On.

    I have been with my husband for seven years plus two dating and cant believe that it has taken me this long to put all the pieces together. The signs/ red flags were all there. many many stories just like the ones I have read about in this blog. I have been in disbelieve for so...
    sameostuff sameostuff 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Update: Divorce. I hope you're all doing well,

    and wanted to give you an update, since we've all considered divorcing our asp. spouse (or many of us at least). I got lucky in a sense, because he initiated the divorce. I'm not sure I would have had the guts. A bizarre string of events lead him to believe I've been cheating on...
    Mannon Mannon 36-40 5 Responses Jul 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Top Three Reasons I Love My Aspie

    There are a few posts up here wanting to put a positive spin on loving an Aspie and I think that is what we all need. I have been reading a book called Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner by Cindy Ariel. I highly recommend this...
    gingerxbaybee gingerxbaybee 22-25 8 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Living With An Aspergers Spouse, A Daily Struggle!

    I have been married to a dependable, honest and caring man for almost 20 years. He is an undiagnosed case of aspergers and we have a 14 year old son on the Autism spectrum quite high functioning. It is almost enough to drive a spouse crazy dealing with the unpredictability of a...
    rubymonday rubymonday 36-40 18 Responses Mar 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I suffer from life long mental health concerns

    that are at times crippling. I do my best to have self awareness and to be accountable to maintaining and treating my condition. I am married to a newly diagnosed Aspie who rarely notices when I am unwell and I have very little support when I need it. He also requires that I...
    DeadHeaven DeadHeaven 41-45, F 2 Responses Jan 12

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Help

    I don't even know where to start . . I know I am going to write a book here . . but I have been waiting so long to talk to someone. I have been married to my husband three years now. I am so alone. We dated for four years and I noticed he was different . . but I guess that is...
    jends jends 26-30 10 Responses Jan 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He aspi, has ignored me

    for 2 months now above the regular ignoring as if that weren't enough already. His latest specia interest besides his laptop is his childs toy, a technical game that resides on the cell phone. Since we both work and have kids with busy lives and schedules we have very limited...
    Telah Telah 46-50, F 6 Responses Feb 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Would You Marry Your Aspie Again?

    I have a developing relationship with a man that I am very confident has Asperger's. In the first few months of our friendship he seemed quirky but harmless, but once we got to know each other and the friendship deepened I began noticing things. Things that really didn't make...
    Truthquest Truthquest 46-50, F 18 Responses Sep 3, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Whole Family of Aspies

    When our son was in 3rd grade, a teacher suggested that he might have Asperger's.  I went immeditely into denial.  My husband went home and got on the internet and read a lot of stuff and self diagnosed three days later. Now, 6 years later, I know that both my sons and...
    SheelaNGig SheelaNGig 46-50, F 10 Responses Dec 29, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I wish I could talk to my Aspie husband about

    the issues I have with our relationship, but as soon as I say anything, he gets so defensive and turns it back on me or becomes verbally abusive and punches walls or doors. He rarely admits that he contributes to our problems and on those rare occasions, he follows up with...
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins 36-40, F 6 Responses Sep 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Does He Push Me Away Just When Things Are Getting Good?

    I have been dating a man for the last 1 1/2 years.  To my knowledge, he is not aware that he has Aspergers, but I am 99% certain that he does. There were definitely sparks flying for both of us when we first went out.  I was confused by his blunt, inappropriate...
    es42 es42 41-45 10 Responses Aug 23, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Times, They Are A Changing.

    What the heck is going on here? I mean, I say this on a daily basis while living with a husband who is an aspie. Over the past couple of months I have strictly thought about putting into action my divorce. I recently thought about a question that he asked me sometime ago, about...
    Misspurple Misspurple 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi, Im new to this site,

    and anything like this. I recently found out that my BF, and as of last month, Husband has AS. I am not a Doctor, but he has all the characteristics and is on a high functioning level of it. I love him more than anything in the world, and knew he had this before i married him...
    Metalmissys Metalmissys 46-50, F 1 Response Nov 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A Realization...

    Just now I was reading some older stories to help me feel less lonely, and I came across a response to a story that really resonated with me. This is part of what the response said "He continues to be selfish and I allow him to, even apologizing for being upset when I have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Husband Has Aspers

    hi everyone i joined this group as i feel like i need some help or people going through and understand what im going through..i married my husband almost a year ago..he is the love of my life,my world i love him so much..but sometimes he really hurts my feelings by saying things...
    sydney2009 sydney2009 22-25 24 Responses Aug 10, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Paths To Peace

    The gift of being married brings it's own challenges without adding any diagnoses into the mixture. However, when one spouse has Aspergers, the dynamic becomes very skewed and often neurotypical spouse feels like a martyr viewing the other as a barnacle. Painful. Difficult...
    Rebecca0071 Rebecca0071 31-35, F 4 Responses Jul 7, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    "It is his way." .

    It has been just over a year since my husband announced to me that he scored very close to being an Aspie on a test he took. And ever since it is common to hear him say, "It's an aspie thing." My daughter and son in law think it is just an excuse for bad behavior. I'm not...
    thislittlelifeofmine thislittlelifeofmine 61-65, F 1 Response Dec 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I read about women in relationships with

    Aspies, I see my own life and relationship reflected so clearly in their stories. But I think my ADHD is making it even worse. My Aspie husband will never accept any role in our disharmony and blames me for everything. He tells me almost daily how he feels unloved...
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My ex wrote "I miss you,

    like the desserts miss the rain" He has aspergers. Do u think he's feeling the same pain as I am??
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F 1 Response Dec 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been told three times

    that I had been diagnosed with Aspergers. Twice in the last month and a half. I still have no idea what Aspergers really is. I was given a book by somebody, about some 15 year old boy with autism who tries to solve the murder of a neighbors black poodle dog. The book is called...
    ThereIsNoName ThereIsNoName 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I think my husband too has this syndrome.

    .i dnt hv a clue y he was odd until yesterday.. We stopped talking n he is talking to me only if he is going out.. Thats also just to inform.. He cant talk to my face bt good in txting.. I cnt live lik this.. Im just moved in wth him nt even three months.. Wt shud i do???
    helpnu helpnu 31-35 Dec 23, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Like Wanting For Some Oxygen

    I'll cut all the previous 13 years of details, as you probably already know how life must be like living with an Aspie. He is not diagnosed but fits in lots of the descriptions Tony Attwood's.We have a child together and she's 11 and starting to show more and more anger...
    swimmingfish swimmingfish 31-35 6 Responses Jun 15, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am adult ADHD and have Parkinson's.

    My wife has Asperger's and various chronic illnesses. I love my wife dearly, but most of our marriage I've wondered whether she loves me. I know she's a good person, but so many things she does are so cruel. Then again, I know I'm a good person too, and looking back I realize...
    rw57 rw57 56-60, M 1 Response Mar 22

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have never posted to a forum such

    as this. Things have gotten really bad for me. I am married to a man that I suspect has AS. We have a child who was recently tested and it was discovered that there is a social delay. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and things are up and down, but mostly bad...
    faithfulhope faithfulhope 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My husband has Asperger's Syndrome.

    I am having a difficult time with our marriage. We have been married two years. He is a good provider and has good traits, such as being highly focused on a hobby that interests him. He is brilliant, and has an excellent photographic memory. He excels at his career. He is...
    Solfeggio Solfeggio 36-40, F 6 Responses Jul 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Non Relationship

    My hubby of 7 years can go weeks barely speaking to me. he tells my friend things he should tell me and then my friend tells me. When I bring it up he always says he told me. I get so tired of being married but not having a partner. i work more hours, do most of the house work...
    crazk crazk 36-40, F 5 Responses May 21, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am married for 4.5 years,

    i met my husband in the other side of the world... i moved whit my two kids to him (this is my second marriage)... when we started living together i found out some things were not as they were supposed to be, first i tought it was the cultural diference... but whit the time i...
    TikaBuendia TikaBuendia 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My aspergers ex wrote this.

    "Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely. And if something can be remembered, it can come back" How should I interpret it???
    sunset7 sunset7 31-35, F Dec 24, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ah, Yes... Now It All Makes Sense.

    I just realized my husband of 3 years has Asperger's.  I always knew something was different, but I just assumed he was your typical smart, nerdy guy who was a bit socially awkward.  But, alas, that is not the case.  My man is quite clueless with non-verbal cues...
    Bella724 Bella724 26-30, F 15 Responses Oct 10, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Near End

    It's getting close to the moment when I realize for certain that enough is enough and that is not going to change. We've been together for a little over a year now. The first six months or so were great. He was attentive, almost obsessive. He has not been home in three days...
    zorla zorla 31-35, F 7 Responses Dec 16, 2011

    Your Response

    Cancel

    So Depressing

    It's so depressing to find out the problem after a year of being with my boyfriend. Yes, he has Asperger's. For so long, I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought the reason he hurt my feelings and neglected me was somehow MY fault. He seemed like such a nice person, I...
    vavaviolet vavaviolet 41-45 12 Responses Apr 3, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    High Functioning Adult = Low Functioning Spouse

    Ok, so low functioning perhaps not the right words to use, but boy do I feel like that sometimes. This is suppose to be a safe place, so hopefully I won't be judged too much :} My husband of 20 years (I'm 38 he's 45) has been diagnosed recently. As many people here who are...
    perspectives perspectives 36-40, F 13 Responses Feb 25, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been doing a lot

    if research on AS and I am almost 100 percent sure my husband has it. In the beginning I was attracted to him because he was SO different. I had been with a real piece of work for almost four years and when I met my husband I remember just almost feeling like I had stars in my...
    Allaboutaddi Allaboutaddi 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Nt Wife And The Impact Of My As

    I have AS and as a result I have had a significant impact on the mental health of my wife. I was in denial of my condition and as a result my marriage has suffered. My wife needs a seperation to heal and I need to grow as a person. I know, that with professional help I will learn...
    lifestartsagain lifestartsagain 41-45 23 Responses Jun 24, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I have been married for 8 years to a man

    that has AS. It is very challenging and I am at a point where I need support from people who get it. My friends and therapist have told me that his behavior is abusive. I have tried to talk to him about it, but he doesn't see how that is the case. I have read what many people...
    Jenni720 Jenni720 31-35, F 2 Responses Mar 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Aspergers And Selfishness

    My resolve to criticise less, hold my tongue and see amazing results didn't last long. Last week Ethan came home with an iPad. A week earlier we'd had a discussion that went something like this: Ethan: Do you think we should get an iPad. Me: Absolutely not. Why do we need one...
    muddlingthroughaspergers muddlingthroughaspergers 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    i think Asperger Syndrome is very similar to

    Obssesive Compulsive Personality Disorder...
    Hanahbee Hanahbee 31-35, F 2 Responses 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well it's finally happened.

    A site that gives information and the opportunity to talk to and meet up with other NT partners. www.different-together.co.uk. There are lots of other sites and support groups for our AS partners. This one is just for us. Hope that can be respected. Had three months in a...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007 51-55 1 Response Oct 10

    Your Response

    Cancel