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I My Spouse Or Partner Has Asperger's Syndrome

Do you think you are with an aspie? This is the group for you! 1,643 People

    I am really struggling with my Aspergers

    partner of 31 years. He is sweet and works hard but can be very mean, antisocial and demeaning. I suspect bipolar disorder but he will not go to the doctor. I love him but I am exhausted being the one who fixes things. He likes to blame others for his bad behavior. Would love...
    cecilwilson cecilwilson 51-55, F 1 Response Jun 13

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    Times, They Are A Changing.

    What the heck is going on here? I mean, I say this on a daily basis while living with a husband who is an aspie. Over the past couple of months I have strictly thought about putting into action my divorce. I recently thought about a question that he asked me sometime ago, about...
    Misspurple Misspurple 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 19, 2012

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    Update: Divorce. I hope you're all doing well,

    and wanted to give you an update, since we've all considered divorcing our asp. spouse (or many of us at least). I got lucky in a sense, because he initiated the divorce. I'm not sure I would have had the guts. A bizarre string of events lead him to believe I've been cheating on...
    Mannon Mannon 36-40 5 Responses Jul 4, 2014

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    I Think My Husband Has Asperger's Syndrome, But He Denies It.

    Hi, my name is Corina and I think my husband has Asperger's syndrome, but he denies it.  I met my husband Peter when we were very young and two years later we became a couple. Now, 20 years later, we still are. When I was young, I had never heard of Asperger's. I only...
    corina72 corina72 36-40, F 5 Responses Jul 21, 2011

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    Ah, Yes... Now It All Makes Sense.

    I just realized my husband of 3 years has Asperger's.  I always knew something was different, but I just assumed he was your typical smart, nerdy guy who was a bit socially awkward.  But, alas, that is not the case.  My man is quite clueless with non-verbal cues...
    Bella724 Bella724 26-30, F 15 Responses Oct 10, 2010

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    My Husband Has Aspers

    hi everyone i joined this group as i feel like i need some help or people going through and understand what im going through..i married my husband almost a year ago..he is the love of my life,my world i love him so much..but sometimes he really hurts my feelings by saying things...
    sydney2009 sydney2009 22-25 24 Responses Aug 10, 2009

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    I have been doing a lot

    if research on AS and I am almost 100 percent sure my husband has it. In the beginning I was attracted to him because he was SO different. I had been with a real piece of work for almost four years and when I met my husband I remember just almost feeling like I had stars in my...
    Allaboutaddi Allaboutaddi 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 30, 2013

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    I wish I could talk to my Aspie husband about

    the issues I have with our relationship, but as soon as I say anything, he gets so defensive and turns it back on me or becomes verbally abusive and punches walls or doors. He rarely admits that he contributes to our problems and on those rare occasions, he follows up with...
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins 36-40, F 6 Responses Sep 9, 2014

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    This will be long and rambly,

    mostly because this is the first place I've found where I can vent to others who may be in similar situations that’s not FB related where everyone I know might see it. I've been dating my boyfriend (P) for about 6 months now. He has not been formally diagnosed, but he...
    lisabug75 lisabug75 36-40, F 4 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    New Website For NT Partners!

    Hi - I've posted about this before (when it was just a theory!) and now, today, it's starting to become a reality. This website WILL happen. If you are an NT partner and have been struggling with getting support, advice and resources, it hopes to help you: a) to understand...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007 51-55 Oct 23, 2013

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    Husband has Aspergers,

    delusional worthlessness syndrome, anxiety, and major depression disorder. Any suggestions?
    enoughrollercoaster enoughrollercoaster 41-45, F 3 Responses Mar 10

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    She just vanished....

    She and I had had a relationship for about a month and a week, when she suddenly started being more and more distant. She stopped communicating on days that we would not meet up at school and always had some excuse to not meet up. Now that school has ended, she never responds to...
    GeorgeRashnikov GeorgeRashnikov 18-21, M Jul 21

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    A Realization...

    Just now I was reading some older stories to help me feel less lonely, and I came across a response to a story that really resonated with me. This is part of what the response said "He continues to be selfish and I allow him to, even apologizing for being upset when I have...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    my husband has no sense of humor,

    im at fault a lot of the time, I prefer to do things w/out him more and more what do I do?
    megsyB megsyB 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 18

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    When I read about women in relationships with

    Aspies, I see my own life and relationship reflected so clearly in their stories. But I think my ADHD is making it even worse. My Aspie husband will never accept any role in our disharmony and blames me for everything. He tells me almost daily how he feels unloved...
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins 36-40, F 2 Responses Sep 30, 2014

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    Should I let it go one more time?

    I've become a pathetic human being, waiting for someone to give me any sort of affection, any sort of recognition. I feel that this relationship I am in is wrong on so many levels but I cannot let go and move on with my life. My bf works long hours. He devotes his life to his...
    misslonelyplanet misslonelyplanet 31-35, F 6 Responses Apr 30, 2014

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    High Functioning Adult = Low Functioning Spouse

    Ok, so low functioning perhaps not the right words to use, but boy do I feel like that sometimes. This is suppose to be a safe place, so hopefully I won't be judged too much :} My husband of 20 years (I'm 38 he's 45) has been diagnosed recently. As many people here who are...
    perspectives perspectives 36-40, F 13 Responses Feb 25, 2012

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    Paths To Peace

    The gift of being married brings it's own challenges without adding any diagnoses into the mixture. However, when one spouse has Aspergers, the dynamic becomes very skewed and often neurotypical spouse feels like a martyr viewing the other as a barnacle. Painful. Difficult...
    Rebecca0071 Rebecca0071 36-40, F 4 Responses Jul 7, 2013

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    Top Three Reasons I Love My Aspie

    There are a few posts up here wanting to put a positive spin on loving an Aspie and I think that is what we all need. I have been reading a book called Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner by Cindy Ariel. I highly recommend this...
    gingerxbaybee gingerxbaybee 22-25 8 Responses Oct 6, 2012

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    I probably have it too,

    based on the info I've studied. But I never got tested.
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup 36-40, F Jun 16

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    Why Does He Push Me Away Just When Things Are Getting Good?

    I have been dating a man for the last 1 1/2 years.  To my knowledge, he is not aware that he has Aspergers, but I am 99% certain that he does. There were definitely sparks flying for both of us when we first went out.  I was confused by his blunt, inappropriate...
    es42 es42 41-45 10 Responses Aug 23, 2010

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    Gah! Sometimes I just want to scream at him!

    !! He doesn't understand why I get upset then acts like I'm the one being a jerk. He knows he needs help but refuses to see a doctor because of his anxiety. But he refuses to let me help him also. He won't talk to me. I love him but it is just so hard.
    eriesisgod eriesisgod 26-30, F 1 day ago

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    Autism is not a mental disorder,

    it's a developmental disorder. There is no cure for Aspergers or Autism at any age. Early Intervention like Speech Therapy, ABA Therapy and Sensory Therapy CAN help a young child to develop speech. But not always, many are nonverbal. Autism is a spectrum disorder.. No two...
    mo9906 mo9906 46-50, F May 7, 2014

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    Well it's finally happened.

    A site that gives information and the opportunity to talk to and meet up with other NT partners. www.different-together.co.uk. There are lots of other sites and support groups for our AS partners. This one is just for us. Hope that can be respected. Had three months in a...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007 51-55 1 Response Oct 10, 2014

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    Help

    I don't even know where to start . . I know I am going to write a book here . . but I have been waiting so long to talk to someone. I have been married to my husband three years now. I am so alone. We dated for four years and I noticed he was different . . but I guess that is...
    jends jends 26-30 9 Responses Jan 4, 2012

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    As ive done extensive research on the matter I,

    along with my 3 children ages 5,4,3 all have aspergers. It is a dominant genetic, heredetary trait. It's intelligence based and for some comes with a steep price. My price., the girl i loved. She left. Me after my diagnosis at age 13. Ik wat you're thinking... 13 year old cant...
    turbojc20 turbojc20 22-25, M May 2

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    I've been in a relationship with an auspie

    for over a year. I recently noticed it, while doing a case study for college. I am studying my bachelor's degree in Speech Therapy, Language and Communication. Anyway, he is 39. I am 26. I love him and I am sure he loves me. But... I am so frustrated because arguments go nowhere...
    MaggieVakarina MaggieVakarina 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    Aspergers And Selfishness

    My resolve to criticise less, hold my tongue and see amazing results didn't last long. Last week Ethan came home with an iPad. A week earlier we'd had a discussion that went something like this: Ethan: Do you think we should get an iPad. Me: Absolutely not. Why do we need one...
    muddlingthroughaspergers muddlingthroughaspergers 36-40, F 4 Responses Mar 22, 2013

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    Hi, Im new to this site,

    and anything like this. I recently found out that my BF, and as of last month, Husband has AS. I am not a Doctor, but he has all the characteristics and is on a high functioning level of it. I love him more than anything in the world, and knew he had this before i married him...
    Metalmissys Metalmissys 46-50, F 4 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    I am pretty sure my husband of 11 years has

    aspergers. We have three children, he is a stay at home dad. I love him but I feel like I am the only one making any effort in our relationship. He really doesn't seem to care and I feel like I have to treat him like a child. I sometimes feel like he is is only with me out of...
    eriesisgod eriesisgod 26-30, F 5 days ago

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    He's my Teddy Bear. Sometimes he says the most

    surprising things without realizing how they sound. Yesterday he told his Mama Bear that 'we' don't know how to make soup, so he was wanting her to show him how. She said in whatever Spanish words it takes, 'You're both in big trouble if you don't know how to make soup.' I...
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup 36-40, F Jun 16

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    I am currently beside myself!

    I think my partner (and father of my 17month old) has Asperger's Syndrome. We are currently separated but "trying to work it out" except he insists that i am the one with the problems and i need to see a psychologist to deal with the way i speak to him. He believes my tone and...
    graciesplayground graciesplayground 36-40, F 5 Responses Mar 30

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    I think I have reached my breaking point.

    I have tried everything to save my marriage and it never gets any better. I need to get out, but I'm terrified. He's told me that he will ruin my life if I try to leave. Has anyone successfully left their Aspie spouse?
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins 36-40, F 2 Responses May 6

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    I NEED HELP! My boyfriend of 7 months has

    aspergers (low on the spectrum i think). I have tried communication, i really have, but i wonder how much of it is his personality, and how much is the aspergers. Let me start from the beginning. Today, I was offered a lift home by a male co-worker who i know well enough to...
    misselenamasen misselenamasen 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 11

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    It makes me so sad to write this,

    but I think it's over. I can't continue in a marriage that is so one-sided and hurtful. I want so badly to keep my family together, but trying to make it work with someone who has no regard for anyone but himself is breaking my spirit. I am exhausted. I am no quitter, but after...
    Elasticgirl Elasticgirl 36-40, F 3 Responses Oct 5, 2014

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    I am 31 and my husband is 31

    as well?we are a gay couple? for the last 7 years My husband has been aware of his Aspergers Diagnosis and I, Have done a very extensive amount of research on AS. I do what I can to help him but I end up being the villain in every argument?I tell him how the lack of action and...
    KnightOfTheMadHatter KnightOfTheMadHatter 31-35, M 2 Responses Feb 22

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    Hello all, My partner of 5 years has Aspergers.

    We have a 14 month old baby girl who we adore and we are both very gentle to. The worry I have is how much my partner I shout at each other and how this must be slowly damaging her. I try so hard to make things peaceful for her and him and while no one else is involved this is...
    jewlie1975 jewlie1975 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 13

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    Feeling sad. As an aspie,

    I'm wondering are we monsters? Because all we ever seem to do is hurt people. Never make them happy or feel loved, we just hurt them. It's not are fault were too logical and have less range of emotions. We were born this way, so are we born monsters or not?
    Amichelseaoramichris Amichelseaoramichris 18-21, T 5 Responses May 2

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    I am married for 4.5 years,

    i met my husband in the other side of the world... i moved whit my two kids to him (this is my second marriage)... when we started living together i found out some things were not as they were supposed to be, first i tought it was the cultural diference... but whit the time i...
    TikaBuendia TikaBuendia 41-45, F 4 Responses Sep 24, 2014

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    Hi I have just found this group

    and I am delighted to find I am not alone. Please forgive my comments only focusing on negative aspects of my husband, he has good qualities too. My husband of 11 years has Aspergers is telling me he can't take the pressures of family life. He is divided between staying or...
    mcecr mcecr 41-45, F 2 Responses Jul 8, 2014

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    i think Asperger Syndrome is very similar to

    Obssesive Compulsive Personality Disorder...
    Hanahbee Hanahbee 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 16, 2014

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    I'm learning to deal with Asperger

    since my partner and his son moved with me and my son; his son has asperger and we have just known about it, it helps us to explain things... now I'm thinking my partner also has asperger but has not been diagnosed. He constantly shuts down with "normal" stressing things, he's...
    moniperu moniperu 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 25, 2014

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    Hope: 5 Stages Of Loss

    I am going to start this by explaining that I am a nurse.  I am married to a man I believe has asperger's.  He is not diagnosed, but fits the description perfectly and every quiz he has taken (or I have taken for him) has confirmed my suspicions. Suddenly all the weirdness of...
    jends jends 26-30 62 Responses Jan 30, 2012

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    SithLordofCanada97 SithLordofCanada97 18-21, M Mar 18

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    Whole Family of Aspies

    When our son was in 3rd grade, a teacher suggested that he might have Asperger's.  I went immeditely into denial.  My husband went home and got on the internet and read a lot of stuff and self diagnosed three days later. Now, 6 years later, I know that both my sons and...
    SheelaNGig SheelaNGig 46-50, F 9 Responses Dec 29, 2008

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    Living With An Aspergers Spouse, A Daily Struggle!

    I have been married to a dependable, honest and caring man for almost 20 years. He is an undiagnosed case of aspergers and we have a 14 year old son on the Autism spectrum quite high functioning. It is almost enough to drive a spouse crazy dealing with the unpredictability of a...
    rubymonday rubymonday 36-40 18 Responses Mar 19, 2012

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