I My Spouse Or Partner Has Asperger's Syndrome

Do you think you are with an aspie? This is the group for you! 2,138 People

    I have to say, that this has been an extremely

    long road. My husband has Asperger's. We didn't know, we had a pretty normal life for the first two years or so. After we had a child, moved, work got more intense, it hit. I had no idea what was happening, I began to feel misunderstood, ignored, lonely... It was awful. I...
    DeeDoo1 DeeDoo1
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 2, 2015

    My husband is a sweet man with Asperger's.

    The Asperger traits are mild in him, he has a job, he's social and has a normal kind of empathy. Still, It hurts. at times I feel like my life kind of stopped when we got married. Because of the extra responsibility, the meltdowns, all the things I have wanted to do that couldn...
    Gonnamakeapie Gonnamakeapie
    36-40, F
    1 Response Aug 30, 2015

    I think I have reached my breaking point.

    I have tried everything to save my marriage and it never gets any better. I need to get out, but I'm terrified. He's told me that he will ruin my life if I try to leave. Has anyone successfully left their Aspie spouse?
    TiffanyPerkins TiffanyPerkins
    36-40, F
    2 Responses May 6, 2015

    High Functioning Adult = Low Functioning Spouse

    Ok, so low functioning perhaps not the right words to use, but boy do I feel like that sometimes. This is suppose to be a safe place, so hopefully I won't be judged too much :} My husband of 20 years (I'm 38 he's 45) has been diagnosed recently. As many people here who are...
    perspectives perspectives
    36-40, F
    15 Responses Feb 25, 2012

    I am pretty sure my husband of 11 years has

    aspergers. We have three children, he is a stay at home dad. I love him but I feel like I am the only one making any effort in our relationship. He really doesn't seem to care and I feel like I have to treat him like a child. I sometimes feel like he is is only with me out of...
    eriesisgod eriesisgod
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jul 26, 2015

    Whole Family of Aspies

    When our son was in 3rd grade, a teacher suggested that he might have Asperger's.  I went immeditely into denial.  My husband went home and got on the internet and read a lot of stuff and self diagnosed three days later. Now, 6 years later, I know that both my sons and...
    SheelaNGig SheelaNGig
    46-50, F
    9 Responses Dec 29, 2008

    Gah! Sometimes I just want to scream at him!

    !! He doesn't understand why I get upset then acts like I'm the one being a jerk. He knows he needs help but refuses to see a doctor because of his anxiety. But he refuses to let me help him also. He won't talk to me. I love him but it is just so hard.
    eriesisgod eriesisgod
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jul 30, 2015

    Please someone help me!

    Am my husband an Asperger? I married for ten years. My husband is an honest, quiet man, responsible and with good temper. However, the worst part is I can’t have any meaningful or normal conversation with him. Every time I try to have a conversation with him, the response is...
    ChuChu256 ChuChu256
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 29

    He's my Teddy Bear. Sometimes he says the most

    surprising things without realizing how they sound. Yesterday he told his Mama Bear that 'we' don't know how to make soup, so he was wanting her to show him how. She said in whatever Spanish words it takes, 'You're both in big trouble if you don't know how to make soup.' I...
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 16, 2015

    I probably have it too,

    based on the info I've studied. But I never got tested.
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jun 16, 2015

    Is it the asperger's

    or is she just not that into me? I am in a new relationship with a woman who was diagnosed as a very mild aspie as a child. Other than being a self-proclaimed introvert, she reacts fairly normally to most social situations. She tends to become overwhelmed in large or loud...
    colenickel colenickel
    31-35, F
    4 Responses Sep 10, 2015

    I am really struggling with my Aspergers

    partner of 31 years. He is sweet and works hard but can be very mean, antisocial and demeaning. I suspect bipolar disorder but he will not go to the doctor. I love him but I am exhausted being the one who fixes things. He likes to blame others for his bad behavior. Would love...
    cecilwilson cecilwilson
    51-55, F
    1 Response Jun 13, 2015

    As ive done extensive research on the matter I,

    along with my 3 children ages 5,4,3 all have aspergers. It is a dominant genetic, heredetary trait. It's intelligence based and for some comes with a steep price. My price., the girl i loved. She left. Me after my diagnosis at age 13. Ik wat you're thinking... 13 year old cant...
    turbojc20 turbojc20
    22-25, M
    1 Response May 2, 2015

    Most of what I've heard of people with

    Asperger's Syndrome or autism indicates lack of affection. How common is it for children or adults with ASD to want a lot of hugs? I'm asking this out of curiosity for myself and my significant other. He's diagnosed but I'm not.
    GreenButtercup GreenButtercup
    36-40, F
    Mar 30

    My husband has Asperger's Syndrome.

    I am having a difficult time with our marriage. We have been married two years. He is a good provider and has good traits, such as being highly focused on a hobby that interests him. He is brilliant, and has an excellent photographic memory. He excels at his career. He is...
    Solfeggio Solfeggio
    36-40, F
    5 Responses Jul 11, 2014

    Help

    I don't even know where to start . . I know I am going to write a book here . . but I have been waiting so long to talk to someone. I have been married to my husband three years now. I am so alone. We dated for four years and I noticed he was different . . but I guess that is...
    jends jends
    26-30
    9 Responses Jan 4, 2012

    Just Realized What Is Going On.

    I have been with my husband for seven years plus two dating and cant believe that it has taken me this long to put all the pieces together. The signs/ red flags were all there. many many stories just like the ones I have read about in this blog. I have been in disbelieve for so...
    sameostuff sameostuff
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Feb 19, 2012

    Would You Marry Your Aspie Again?

    I have a developing relationship with a man that I am very confident has Asperger's. In the first few months of our friendship he seemed quirky but harmless, but once we got to know each other and the friendship deepened I began noticing things. Things that really didn't make...
    Truthquest Truthquest
    46-50, F
    24 Responses Sep 3, 2012

    Hello all, My partner of 5 years has Aspergers.

    We have a 14 month old baby girl who we adore and we are both very gentle to. The worry I have is how much my partner I shout at each other and how this must be slowly damaging her. I try so hard to make things peaceful for her and him and while no one else is involved this is...
    jewlie1975 jewlie1975
    36-40, F
    1 Response Jun 13, 2015

    I would like to start by saying I love my

    husband with all my heart and can't imagine life without him. That being said, I would like to imagine life without the frustration of arguing with him. Don't get me wrong, all couples have disagreements; but he has an identic memory and I feel like the stupid little cases where...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Feb 18

    Hi, Im new to this site,

    and anything like this. I recently found out that my BF, and as of last month, Husband has AS. I am not a Doctor, but he has all the characteristics and is on a high functioning level of it. I love him more than anything in the world, and knew he had this before i married him...
    Metalmissys Metalmissys
    46-50, F
    5 Responses Nov 24, 2014

    it's a battle all my life.

    He refuses to do or go anywhere new. I have to find the way when we are in a new place. Even in a trip, I had so many problems with him cause he didn't listen. It's so hard to enjoy him. But deep inside, he is a kind and giving man that I love.
    Fannie3 Fannie3
    61-65, F
    5 Responses Sep 25, 2015

    He has gone to bed early upset with me.

    I am slowly going mental I think. We have spent all our savings and committed to a real estate program to get ahead. My main goal for it to work is so that I may finally be free with enough money for both of us to move on. We are not young. He is 61 I am 58. We just discovered...
    nannyraine nannyraine
    56-60, F
    2 Responses Oct 27, 2015

    I have been doing a lot

    if research on AS and I am almost 100 percent sure my husband has it. In the beginning I was attracted to him because he was SO different. I had been with a real piece of work for almost four years and when I met my husband I remember just almost feeling like I had stars in my...
    Allaboutaddi Allaboutaddi
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Nov 30, 2013

    I've been in a relationship with an auspie

    for over a year. I recently noticed it, while doing a case study for college. I am studying my bachelor's degree in Speech Therapy, Language and Communication. Anyway, he is 39. I am 26. I love him and I am sure he loves me. But... I am so frustrated because arguments go nowhere...
    MaggieVakarina MaggieVakarina
    26-30, F
    1 Response Mar 29, 2015

    I think my significant other has Aspergers.

    He is 55. He thinks his differences are because he was the only child of divorced parents. The mention of Aspergers sends him into a rage. We are both teachers. We have seen young students that really don't fit in. He has friends. That's mostly because he lives for sports...
    Rivercheryl Rivercheryl
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Jan 18

    Autism is not a mental disorder,

    it's a developmental disorder. There is no cure for Aspergers or Autism at any age. Early Intervention like Speech Therapy, ABA Therapy and Sensory Therapy CAN help a young child to develop speech. But not always, many are nonverbal. Autism is a spectrum disorder.. No two...
    mo9906 mo9906
    46-50, F
    May 7, 2014

    Cassandra Syndrome

    I was an emotional wreck when I met him, I was 25 and divorced with an 18 mo daughter. He represented the security I longed for. He was the strong  silent type, good-looking, the perfect husband. So what if he was a little cold and distant? I figured this was the price of...
    magicbeet magicbeet
    36-40, F
    34 Responses Jul 14, 2011

    Feeling sad. As an aspie,

    I'm wondering are we monsters? Because all we ever seem to do is hurt people. Never make them happy or feel loved, we just hurt them. It's not are fault were too logical and have less range of emotions. We were born this way, so are we born monsters or not?
    Amichelseaoramichris Amichelseaoramichris
    18-21, T
    6 Responses May 2, 2015

    I Used To Ask His Mother If He Was Slightly Retarded!

    I married a man with Asperger's Syndrome in 1995...but didn't realize it until 18 years later--after he was formally diagnosed at Kaiser.I always knew Ron was very "different" from the scores of other men I had dated: He was alway super awkward in social situations (example...
    Cloudy45 Cloudy45
    51-55
    1 Response Dec 27, 2011

    You guys ever been told to explicitly tell him

    what you need? Like I need you to tell me I'm pretty and maybe you should bring me flowers and how about a hug and kiss occasionally? And then he STILL doesn't do it? Argh.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    5 Responses Jan 30

    My boyfriend hasn't been diagnosed

    or anything, but I was watching a programme about Asberger's and something resonated with me. If he does have it, I'm sure it's only mild, but it would explain an awful lot... I feel so guilty for thinking this of him and I'm not sure whether or not to say something. I'm no...
    anniechan anniechan
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Apr 7

    how is it with someone with aspergers syndrome?

    I have it. I had one serious relationship. I wonder if its very miserable being with me. since she cheated and my other short relationship.
    Tallestdavid Tallestdavid
    26-30, M
    1 Response Aug 28, 2015

    Top Three Reasons I Love My Aspie

    There are a few posts up here wanting to put a positive spin on loving an Aspie and I think that is what we all need. I have been reading a book called Loving Someone with Asperger's Syndrome: Understanding and Connecting with your Partner by Cindy Ariel. I highly recommend this...
    gingerxbaybee gingerxbaybee
    22-25
    9 Responses Oct 6, 2012

    I have aspergers syndrome

    and I also have depression and anxiety as well as attention deficit disorder
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    1 Response Dec 24, 2015

    Hope: 5 Stages Of Loss

    I am going to start this by explaining that I am a nurse.  I am married to a man I believe has asperger's.  He is not diagnosed, but fits the description perfectly and every quiz he has taken (or I have taken for him) has confirmed my suspicions. Suddenly all the weirdness of...
    jends jends
    26-30
    63 Responses Jan 30, 2012

    New Website For NT Partners!

    Hi - I've posted about this before (when it was just a theory!) and now, today, it's starting to become a reality. This website WILL happen. If you are an NT partner and have been struggling with getting support, advice and resources, it hopes to help you: a) to understand...
    Mercgirl007 Mercgirl007
    51-55
    Oct 23, 2013

    Pretty Sure My Husband Has Aspergers, Feel So Angry And Disappointed

    Together for about 25 years now, he always seemed different (shy, social anxiety, trouble with change, weird outbursts at times, never able to make bond with my son), but somehow it kind of worked. For many years I felt happy with him. Then we had a child of our own. He...
    LindaTGJ LindaTGJ
    56-60, F
    5 Responses Aug 1, 2011

    my husband has no sense of humor,

    im at fault a lot of the time, I prefer to do things w/out him more and more what do I do?
    megsyB megsyB
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Jun 18, 2015

    I am currently beside myself!

    I think my partner (and father of my 17month old) has Asperger's Syndrome. We are currently separated but "trying to work it out" except he insists that i am the one with the problems and i need to see a psychologist to deal with the way i speak to him. He believes my tone and...
    graciesplayground graciesplayground
    41-45, F
    5 Responses Mar 30, 2015

    Should I let it go one more time?

    I've become a pathetic human being, waiting for someone to give me any sort of affection, any sort of recognition. I feel that this relationship I am in is wrong on so many levels but I cannot let go and move on with my life. My bf works long hours. He devotes his life to his...
    misslonelyplanet misslonelyplanet
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Apr 30, 2014

    So Depressing

    It's so depressing to find out the problem after a year of being with my boyfriend. Yes, he has Asperger's. For so long, I thought I was doing something wrong. I thought the reason he hurt my feelings and neglected me was somehow MY fault. He seemed like such a nice person, I...
    vavaviolet vavaviolet
    41-45
    12 Responses Apr 3, 2012

    Living With An Aspergers Spouse, A Daily Struggle!

    I have been married to a dependable, honest and caring man for almost 20 years. He is an undiagnosed case of aspergers and we have a 14 year old son on the Autism spectrum quite high functioning. It is almost enough to drive a spouse crazy dealing with the unpredictability of a...
    rubymonday rubymonday
    36-40
    18 Responses Mar 19, 2012

    I am married for 4.5 years,

    i met my husband in the other side of the world... i moved whit my two kids to him (this is my second marriage)... when we started living together i found out some things were not as they were supposed to be, first i tought it was the cultural diference... but whit the time i...
    TikaBuendia TikaBuendia
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Sep 24, 2014

    Does anybody have a GOOD experience with their

    Aspergers partner? For a while I thought I might've been attracted to somebody with the disorder, but everything on here sounds so scary and negative.
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    3 Responses Aug 22, 2015

    Paths To Peace

    The gift of being married brings it's own challenges without adding any diagnoses into the mixture. However, when one spouse has Aspergers, the dynamic becomes very skewed and often neurotypical spouse feels like a martyr viewing the other as a barnacle. Painful. Difficult...
    Rebecca0071 Rebecca0071
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Jul 7, 2013

    Aspergers And Selfishness

    My resolve to criticise less, hold my tongue and see amazing results didn't last long. Last week Ethan came home with an iPad. A week earlier we'd had a discussion that went something like this: Ethan: Do you think we should get an iPad. Me: Absolutely not. Why do we need one...
    muddlingthroughaspergers muddlingthroughaspergers
    36-40, F
    4 Responses Mar 22, 2013
    SithLordofCanada97 SithLordofCanada97
    18-21, M
    Mar 18, 2015

    Ah, Yes... Now It All Makes Sense.

    I just realized my husband of 3 years has Asperger's.  I always knew something was different, but I just assumed he was your typical smart, nerdy guy who was a bit socially awkward.  But, alas, that is not the case.  My man is quite clueless with non-verbal cues...
    Bella724 Bella724
    26-30, F
    14 Responses Oct 10, 2010

    30 reasons i love my Aspie (or just a

    individual person wich i was lucky to met) This is my story, and Just mine. U dont need to relate. Because every person is different, with different needs, believes, want different things in different ways. (english is my second language so sorry for mistakes in gramma or smth...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    Apr 6

    Times, They Are A Changing.

    What the heck is going on here? I mean, I say this on a daily basis while living with a husband who is an aspie. Over the past couple of months I have strictly thought about putting into action my divorce. I recently thought about a question that he asked me sometime ago, about...
    Misspurple Misspurple
    31-35, F
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2012

    Lonely, Insecure, And In Love With An Aspie (?)

    I have been in a relationship with what I am pretty sure is an Aspie (male) for 2 1/2 years now. It has been an extraordinarily painful, frustrating, ambiguous, maddening, and psychologically damaging (to my ego and emotional sanity) odyssey. I am only still in the relationship...
    pebbles111 pebbles111
    41-45
    4 Responses Jul 25, 2012

    Hi I am wondering if others have experienced

    that their spouse is asexual due to the syndrome ? This is my first time writing here. Thank you
    v636 v636
    41-45, F
    2 Responses Apr 2, 2015

    Non diagnosed husband.

    I just recently ran into Asperger's info. It's him top to toe. I'm physically and emotionally sick. It is pure torture. My two young adult kids are borderline. The oldest takes meds and does well. He let refuses to be treated. Borderlines do a lot of manipulations, I see what...
    chancenchoice chancenchoice
    46-50
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2015

    It makes me so sad to write this,

    but I think it's over. I can't continue in a marriage that is so one-sided and hurtful. I want so badly to keep my family together, but trying to make it work with someone who has no regard for anyone but himself is breaking my spirit. I am exhausted. I am no quitter, but after...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    4 Responses Oct 5, 2014

    A Realization...

    Just now I was reading some older stories to help me feel less lonely, and I came across a response to a story that really resonated with me. This is part of what the response said "He continues to be selfish and I allow him to, even apologizing for being upset when I have...
    deleted deleted
    26-30
    2 Responses Nov 19, 2013
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