I Need Someone to Talk to Forum & Chat Board | I don't really know? i think I need someone

I feel numb sometimes, and so mad i could just throw and break stuff, but i don't want to hurt my family's feelings. My boyfriend of almost 3 years, whom I'm closest to, has had the worst of all of my moods. Sometimes I just feel like telling him the worst things ever, and just hurting his feelings and i think in my head that i really don't care, but then i think again, yes i really do care if i hurt him, because i love him. I'm nicer to the people who don't know me well. there was a friend i had, we were best friends until she started to treat me terrible and use me just for rides to places, so i just stopped talking to her, and when she confronted me for it i got a little hateful back. not as much as i wanted. but it was a change from what i used to do. which i could tell she wasn't used to because she didn't say anything back, we were both surprised. I just feel like i'm loosing it. i cant make any friends, i don't lose my temper anywhere but when im alone at home, or alone by myself. so it's not that i'm mean to anyone, and i just want to talk to someone about this, but it's so hard to tell my parents stuff because i feel like they don't care, they just put it off and ignore it. they don't acknowledge that it really bothers me. i don't like fighting with them. they think i'm really mean, and i'm not. i just want to be nice like i used to be. i don't know what to do really. i just found this website. it's my last resort really. i've thought of so many things to make this crap stop and i just don't know what else to do.