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I Need to Decide If I'll Stay In My Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,042 People

    Confusing Moment

    I don't know what will happen. My marriage wasn't entirely sexless, but was far from happy. Then, I came out of my shell and had a relationship. My wife knew about it. Now, my relationship has ended, and the wife wants me back.Wife and myself talk intensely. Even about genitals...
    AgeingThinker AgeingThinker 61-65, M 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    Confused About Relationship

    Hi there. I love my wife and we have been married for about 3 years now. and separated for almost a year. I cheated on my wife sometime ago and I told her about it. It wasnt a relationship but sex happened and I immediately told her and never did it again or even spoke to the...
    luverkid luverkid 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    Bad Reason To Stay Married #6

    Loneliness. Singledom is a lonely prospect, particularly if you’ve been married for any length of time. Staying with your partner only because you’d be too lonely on your own is one of the weakest reasons out there for staying in a marriage. Focus on the other relationships...
    Sunshinegoneforever Sunshinegoneforever 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2013

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    Marriage (a Must Read)

    (I'm not married and never have been....But I would like to share something with this group and I hope it helps somebody) _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MARRIAGE (unknown author) When I got...
    DeenaMonroe DeenaMonroe 26-30, F 18 Responses Sep 5, 2010

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    How Do You Find The Strenght To Leave

    I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful wife. We really like each other. But early on in our marriage the physical relationship dwindled. Maybe once a month, then once every 2 months. We had some pretty tense moments but never any physical violence. For the last 10 years we...
    fishingtime fishingtime 51-55 8 Responses Jan 9, 2011

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    Hopeful - A New Start

    We talked… He is trying to be aware of his moods and actions and how they have an effect on me. He is more thoughtful and loving. We talked about my anxiety and he has been so wonderful. He says we are in this together and if we don’t help each other it will never work…. He...
    wistfulwanderer wistfulwanderer 36-40, F Apr 1, 2013

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    Is It a Marriage?

    I am wondering how I got to this point in my life.  My husband and I have not had sex for 15 years.  I have been having affairs for three.  I don't tell anyone about my private life.  I have been lucky, I have found men I can trust who are in similiar...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 89 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Same Old Stuff

    So I married my husband back in 2011. Not too long after I found out my husband slept around with his ex while we were dating. I should have left him then but I had just gave birth to the light of my life, my daughter. He then became unable to work because of a back injury that...
    txcutie txcutie 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 25, 2013

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    My Husband Cheating On Me

    I accidentally caught my husband is stepped out from our marriage this past Saturday. So I confront him and ask him who is the girl on his Ipod screen saver. He told me it just a model (which I know it is a lie). I don't know how long he is cheating on me but I just caught it...
    Jang1974 Jang1974 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    Just had the big "D" talk with the wife.

    We have not had a good marriage for 6 years or so. Been married 13 years with two kids (8 and 11). We don't fight but we do argue. Our marriage started out perfect. Now the talk from her was she's more concerned about how she could afford to leave or not than working on the...
    slim156 slim156 41-45, M 2 Responses Jun 16

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    Still Not Sure How To Decide, Feeling Like I Could Do Better

    My husband stopped being completely crazy about 7 months ago, and we have rebuilt trust. He started trying to spend time together, he tells me how lucky he is to have me, we are having sex normally again with him initiating, he is talking about investing in the future and is...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Nov 24, 2013

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    Okay... Here It Goes

    So I originally posted in the sexless marriage group when I joined EP. I will update on that here. There are actually a few reasons outside of our sex life as to why our marriage is suffering and I'm posting here. My husband has some wonderful qualities. He is very giving and...
    CheshireKitten CheshireKitten 26-30, F 26 Responses May 5, 2011

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    11 Days Of Hellish Self-learning

    It has been 11 days since I've really eaten. I've had a few meals since then, perhaps a small meal once every day or two. It has been very emotionally traumatic for me. During those 11 days I have made several hard realizations about myself. These are not aspects of myself I am...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 19, 2011

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    The Hardest Thing

    In six more days it will have been a month. It has been a month of tears, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, remorse, revenge, pity parties, endless questions, fear, and indecision. There are endless reasons to end this: 1. He cheated; 2. I don't trust him; 3. He will probably...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    I Miss My Wife.

    Most of the time I live with a woman who used to be funny, kind and wonderful. I think about her all the time and wonder where she went. The lady she has been replaced with seems to forget that I even exist. I remain hopeful but am almost at the end of my rope.
    jmc132 jmc132 41-45, M 16 Responses Feb 9, 2011

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    Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    I have 4 children.. 12, 10, 7 and a 39 year old husband who refuses to grow up! He is an outdoor type of person with numerous hobbies. Camping, fishing, mountain-bike riding, bushwalking, 4 wheel driving, kayaking, playing with his remote controlled cars, making things with his...
    earthboundangel earthboundangel 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 7, 2011

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    Nothing Left For Me to Stay

    I just joined the group," I live in a sexless marriage", a few days ago but haven't written my story.  I guess I'll try to start now.  From reading many, I  think I will receive some helpful comments. I sure hope so! I entered my 2nd marriage in 1998...
    laceymae laceymae 56-60 7 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    I go back and forth on this decision.

    It's such a hassle to get divorced this days. Lawyers and judges in VA never make it easy.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 3 Responses May 6

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    I am getting a divorce.

    The reason I know it's the right thing to do is that it feels right. I don't feel guilty, or indecisive, or wonder if there is anything left for me to do that I haven't done. I can see why it worked and why it failed. I have read ten books, been to two years of relationship...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Jun 30

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    How do I end it? I have a 'timeline' in my

    head. I would like to be single by summer. I can't take he and his kids loving here then. And I've got lots of plans... What do I say to pull the plug? It's been 3 years.
    wrightlover wrightlover 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    The Subtle Difference Between Holding A Hand And Chaining A Soul

    After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises, And you begin to...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 3 Responses May 27, 2013

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    Elimination

    For 14 years i have been married to a man whos mouth and off the wall temper has more than once.... ripped my heart out and left me lifeless. I have tried many time to get rid of him, but he refuses to leave.... i am one heck of a good wife....i work, clean, feed and wait on...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 48 Responses Jun 26, 2010

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    When love knocked my door

    and I wasn't ready yet ' For long time ago I promise to my self not gonna fall Inlove with somebody .. Because I know that it will just destroyed me for some reason .. One time come in my life while I am all in the battle of being confused who I am and who I want to be...
    marianlee marianlee 22-25, F Jul 7

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    I've been married for 16 years.

    We 3 children 12, 8, 4 I got married at the age of 23. I met my husband when I was 16 years old. Like all relationships everything was great at the beginning when we met but that's because I never knew his family. He's from India and I'm South American. So us being together is...
    Dimples604 Dimples604 36-40, F 3 Responses Jun 10

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    At the Crossroads

    ****** THIS IS AN OLD STORY. WE HAVE DIVORCED.********   So - this morninig I asked hubby to leave.  I want a separation while we go through counselling, and I think that the emotional state of our house is in shambles.  I need to step up and...
    MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72 36-40, F 18 Responses Nov 23, 2008

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    My husband and I have been having some issues.

    For those who have read my last experience. We sat down and talked. I was thinking maybe we where having some if those issues ,because we don't spend enough time together. So after the talk a day later. What do you know? We are back at it. I ask if he could spend a little time...
    OverPowered1 OverPowered1 31-35, F 4 Responses Jun 9

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    He Kicked Us Out...Our Two Little Girls AND I'm Pregnant With Our 3rd Baby :(

    He had been showing me for a long while he didn't want me anymore. I was desperate to keep our family together. I can't afford to be on my own right now and am 5 mos pregnant to boot. No one will hire me currently and my plan was to get through until the baby came, get a second...
    SH83 SH83 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 25, 2013

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    Been Decided :)

    I have come to the conclusion that if you need to "decide" if you are going to stay then you should probably already be gone.
    TKD1 TKD1 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 29, 2013

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    Hello, so I have been married

    for 5 year but been with this man for 14 years. He is the father of all our kids. OK so about 6 years ago he got abusive. I was pregnant with our 2nd son. He begged and begged for me to stay. Then it happened with our 3rd kid. It was on and off abuse well before our 4th kid he...
    mommygonecrazy4 mommygonecrazy4 26-30, F 3 Responses Jun 8

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    You Will Be Called Upon To Expand.

    Choosing to stay and work on your marriage when you are deeply unhappy is one of the hardest things you will do in life. I am learning that it is not supposed to be "easy" indefinitely. It is not some concrete thing you "fix". It is a process that never ends. You get out of...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    All it seems I do lately is think.

    I think mostly of what I want to say to my wife. I run through hours of conversation, what to start with, which points are best to touch on at which points during. I become absolutely confident that I can start the talk, and that I'm ready to hash out "the big ones...
    gator613 gator613 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 22

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    Being Ignored

    Right now my husband is ignoring my calls, texts. No matter how nice I can be I still get the shaft. How can a man do this to someone he claims he loves???
    Ashley216 Ashley216 26-30, F 8 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    I have fried nerves today.

    All he did was scream at me. I took half a lexotonil. Should have taken a full one because my headache is not going. We work together so separating private and professional life is hard for him and he's mentally upset me yet again. I mean I'm not hurt. My nerves and temped are...
    melancholic28 melancholic28 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Starting Divorce Process

    We were just about to talk about division of things when my 25 year old son came in. Those talks are postponed, but I expect them today to continue. I've been moving toward this for four years. In many ways I have been preparing her for it too so that is not this huge...
    justbeit justbeit 51-55, M 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    Will I Ever Decide??

    I was speaking with a friend the other day and during the conversation, she asked if things have gotten any better in my marriage.  Truthfully, the answer is no.  Last week, I realized that it wasn't that I thought I didn't love him anymore, it 's that I really don't...
    goddessone goddessone 41-45, F 23 Responses Mar 19, 2008

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    I hate being married to my husband.

    We have been together for 12 years and married for 2 years.His a cheater a liar and I just found out I was pregant everything is horrible.
    prest03 prest03 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20

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    Here I Am Again

    One day earlier this year I finally told my husband that I couldn't take anymore and I wanted to separate. He freaked out and began yelling and cursing at me. I just turned and walked out of the room and I headed straight out the door. He chased after me. I was about to get in my...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2012

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    What Now?

    I know if I give details of what has happened to me since my hell began, people will judge me and my wife. I want to preface this story by preparing to defending her. Perhaps my love is blind or I am desperate. But I want to believe she loves me and wants us to work. I believe...
    steve1924 steve1924 41-45, M 2 Responses Oct 8, 2013

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    Since I moved out, Hubs has found the strength

    and motivation to do things he "couldn't" do while we were together. I feel so hurt - he wouldn't work a job for ME... Wouldn't take down his mother's awful artwork in our home for ME... Wouldn't be polite or social for ME... Wouldn't let ME stay in our home. Now that I'm...
    FakeIsTheNewReal FakeIsTheNewReal 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 24

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    I feel so lost that I don't know what to do

    with my marriage. My husband and I just celebrated 2 years of marriage and its been nothing but chaos! He is very childish how he deals with things and theres so many things he hides. I have trust issues with him bc he's emotionally cheated with a girl on here!!! and he...
    confuzzzed7 confuzzzed7 41-45 6 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    So I just got the I love you

    but I'm not in love with you speech. We've been married for 13 years. She doesn't want to leave (from what I can tell). Is there any way to really recover from that? Has anybody else been told that and are still married?
    slim156 slim156 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 20

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    The absolute best and worst part of being in an

    extremely intimate relationship is seeing the worst aspects of each other and being able to handle those worst aspects and grow from them. Before The Horrible First Year, I was excited to deal with relationship challenges and the growth that would occur as a result of these...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 1 Response Feb 1

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    I've been married to my husband

    for 5 years. We have been in a relationship for 10 years. When we got married we bought a house. Then he quit his job. He hasn't had a job since. He keeps telling me he'll get one. But I don't see it happening. I push myself very hard to make as much money as possible to...
    TheAlchemistIsIn TheAlchemistIsIn 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 15

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    Feeling Guilty Over The Idea Of Leaving

    I have been struggling with the notion of divorcing my wife of 24 yrs for a couple of years now. After some counseling and long talks with the most trusted people in my life, I realize that I will never be happy in this marriage. Although she hates the idea of me leaving, I think...
    Alecberg Alecberg 46-50, M 5 Responses Jun 20, 2012

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    What To Do...

    I love my husband but I'm not in love with him. We have known each other for 12 years and been married for 8. I'm feeling like he married me just to have someone wait on him. He can't do anything for himself. When I bring something up, he gets really mad. I think he has...
    LookingforLove63 LookingforLove63 51-55, F 7 Responses Jun 20, 2011

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    Caught My Husband Remotely Spying On Me On My Computer

    About 2 months ago I left my husband of almost 8 years and moved across town.  We agreed that we did both still love each other and would continue to be married and spend time together etc.  For almost our entire marriage I have suspected that he was snooping on my personal...
    shellhopp shellhopp 41-45 23 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    The Bellydance Analogy

    This story explains how I came to understand and embrace differentiation in my marriage. After I understood this, I no longer felt conflicted about whether to stay or go. I have been a bellydancer for nearly 8 years. It is a huge part of my life, and it brings me an immense...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 25 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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    I Found My Husband's EP

    I promise you I wasn't snooping. I simply saw he had an email about this website and I asked him what it was... he said it's an app. Curious, I went to look it up and found that he has an account and I read his stories. Now, it was a complete accident when I found his account but...
    liljumpy liljumpy 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    Sh** Or Get Off The Pot..

    Its been 9 or so years, weve been married. My 3rd his 4th, altho he lied about that, too. Anyhoo, first five , ive never been so happy, never felt so lived, never felt more right, never loved a person like I did him- inseperable. One thing- every am for almost 6 years- EVERY AM...
    No1zfoolagn No1zfoolagn 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2013

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    My Husband Wants A Divorce

    I have been married with my husband for only 10 months now and he wants a divorce. I caught him cheating on me a month ago but decided to start anew and continue with our relationship. We agreed to not look back on what happened so we can start fresh. But before we have agreed on...
    Mountainlove Mountainlove 22-25 207 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Choosing Between The Two (I'm Having An Affair)

    I recently (very recent) got married to my boyfriend of 3+ years and within this time frame I met another man. This other guy and my now husband has no idea that i am basically living a double life. I never thought of having an affair but my now husband and i have been going...
    ratt2728 ratt2728 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    I Am Very Curious....

    with the national divorce rate now at 53% the chance that you will get divorced is greater than the chance you will stay married. my parents are divorced. my mom is going through her second as we speak. married men hit on me non stop. i know women and men having affairs...
    LittleLady LittleLady 19-21, F 41 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    Husband #2

    I think I rushed into getting married again because my ex-husband was getting married. I married a Eight years younger. I don't think age matters tremendously but sometimes it definitely rears its ugly head. My big reason to stay right now is I don't want divorce number two. I...
    Christina75 Christina75 36-40, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2013