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I Need to Decide If I'll Stay In My Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,001 People

    Reasons Why I'm Staying

    I wrote a post almost close to a year ago about why I want to leave my marriage. I went on and on and I recieved comments telling me to leave now while I'm still young. Since then, I have deleted the story because I felt a little exposed (I gave too many details haha.) But I'm...
    Lovely0521 Lovely0521 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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    Lost

    my husband is a recover prescription pill addict. he has only been clean for maybe about 2 weeks. all the lies and doing drugs behind my back have broke me. we got in an argument last that and he told me several times he wants a divorce and how he would be much happier single. I...
    Jltorgerson Jltorgerson 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 14, 2013

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    The Subtle Difference Between Holding A Hand And Chaining A Soul

    After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises, And you begin to...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 3 Responses May 27, 2013

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    Nothing Left For Me to Stay

    I just joined the group," I live in a sexless marriage", a few days ago but haven't written my story.  I guess I'll try to start now.  From reading many, I  think I will receive some helpful comments. I sure hope so! I entered my 2nd marriage in 1998...
    laceymae laceymae 56-60 7 Responses Apr 27, 2008

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    Being Able To Even Consider It Made All The Difference

    For me, for years, I could never contemplate divorce. It simply wasn't an option. I felt that I would be miserable and regret my failed marriage for the rest of my days. Then things changed. I could start to imagine myself happy with someone else. I could actually hope that...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 11 Responses Nov 2, 2010

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    I have fried nerves today.

    All he did was scream at me. I took half a lexotonil. Should have taken a full one because my headache is not going. We work together so separating private and professional life is hard for him and he's mentally upset me yet again. I mean I'm not hurt. My nerves and temped are...
    melancholic28 melancholic28 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 12

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    Cheated On And Confuse

    I have been married for almost seven years and I feel that I no longer know my husband. We lived apart for like five years and finally reunited last year. He used to be very quiet and easy going to me. Lat year I found out that he had a 3yrs son. He had that kid two years in our...
    WearyMe WearyMe 26-30 3 Responses Apr 23, 2013

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    Bad Reason To Stay Married #6

    Loneliness. Singledom is a lonely prospect, particularly if you’ve been married for any length of time. Staying with your partner only because you’d be too lonely on your own is one of the weakest reasons out there for staying in a marriage. Focus on the other relationships...
    Sunshinegoneforever Sunshinegoneforever 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2013

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    Still Not Sure How To Decide, Feeling Like I Could Do Better

    My husband stopped being completely crazy about 7 months ago, and we have rebuilt trust. He started trying to spend time together, he tells me how lucky he is to have me, we are having sex normally again with him initiating, he is talking about investing in the future and is...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Nov 24, 2013

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    The absolute best and worst part of being in an

    extremely intimate relationship is seeing the worst aspects of each other and being able to handle those worst aspects and grow from them. Before The Horrible First Year, I was excited to deal with relationship challenges and the growth that would occur as a result of these...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 1 Response Feb 1

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    He Kicked Us Out...Our Two Little Girls AND I'm Pregnant With Our 3rd Baby :(

    He had been showing me for a long while he didn't want me anymore. I was desperate to keep our family together. I can't afford to be on my own right now and am 5 mos pregnant to boot. No one will hire me currently and my plan was to get through until the baby came, get a second...
    SH83 SH83 26-30, F 8 Responses Aug 25, 2013

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    What Now?

    I know if I give details of what has happened to me since my hell began, people will judge me and my wife. I want to preface this story by preparing to defending her. Perhaps my love is blind or I am desperate. But I want to believe she loves me and wants us to work. I believe...
    steve1924 steve1924 41-45, M 1 Response Oct 8, 2013

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    I Am Very Curious....

    with the national divorce rate now at 53% the chance that you will get divorced is greater than the chance you will stay married. my parents are divorced. my mom is going through her second as we speak. married men hit on me non stop. i know women and men having affairs...
    LittleLady LittleLady 19-21, F 41 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    Elimination

    For 14 years i have been married to a man whos mouth and off the wall temper has more than once.... ripped my heart out and left me lifeless. I have tried many time to get rid of him, but he refuses to leave.... i am one heck of a good wife....i work, clean, feed and wait on...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 46 Responses Jun 26, 2010

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    How Do You Find The Strenght To Leave

    I've been married for 17 years to a wonderful wife. We really like each other. But early on in our marriage the physical relationship dwindled. Maybe once a month, then once every 2 months. We had some pretty tense moments but never any physical violence. For the last 10 years we...
    fishingtime fishingtime 51-55 8 Responses Jan 9, 2011

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    I Found My Husband's EP

    I promise you I wasn't snooping. I simply saw he had an email about this website and I asked him what it was... he said it's an app. Curious, I went to look it up and found that he has an account and I read his stories. Now, it was a complete accident when I found his account but...
    liljumpy liljumpy 22-25, F 3 Responses Nov 9, 2013

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    The Hardest Thing

    In six more days it will have been a month. It has been a month of tears, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, remorse, revenge, pity parties, endless questions, fear, and indecision. There are endless reasons to end this: 1. He cheated; 2. I don't trust him; 3. He will probably...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    At the Crossroads

    ****** THIS IS AN OLD STORY. WE HAVE DIVORCED.********   So - this morninig I asked hubby to leave.  I want a separation while we go through counselling, and I think that the emotional state of our house is in shambles.  I need to step up and...
    MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72 36-40, F 18 Responses Nov 23, 2008

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    Confused About Relationship

    Hi there. I love my wife and we have been married for about 3 years now. and separated for almost a year. I cheated on my wife sometime ago and I told her about it. It wasnt a relationship but sex happened and I immediately told her and never did it again or even spoke to the...
    luverkid luverkid 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 20, 2013

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    You Will Be Called Upon To Expand.

    Choosing to stay and work on your marriage when you are deeply unhappy is one of the hardest things you will do in life. I am learning that it is not supposed to be "easy" indefinitely. It is not some concrete thing you "fix". It is a process that never ends. You get out of...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    Feeling Guilty Over The Idea Of Leaving

    I have been struggling with the notion of divorcing my wife of 24 yrs for a couple of years now. After some counseling and long talks with the most trusted people in my life, I realize that I will never be happy in this marriage. Although she hates the idea of me leaving, I think...
    Alecberg Alecberg 46-50, M 5 Responses Jun 20, 2012

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    I Miss My Wife.

    Most of the time I live with a woman who used to be funny, kind and wonderful. I think about her all the time and wonder where she went. The lady she has been replaced with seems to forget that I even exist. I remain hopeful but am almost at the end of my rope.
    jmc132 jmc132 41-45, M 16 Responses Feb 9, 2011

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    Marriage (a Must Read)

    (I'm not married and never have been....But I would like to share something with this group and I hope it helps somebody) _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MARRIAGE (unknown author) When I got...
    DeenaMonroe DeenaMonroe 26-30, F 17 Responses Sep 5, 2010

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    Being Ignored

    Right now my husband is ignoring my calls, texts. No matter how nice I can be I still get the shaft. How can a man do this to someone he claims he loves???
    Ashley216 Ashley216 26-30, F 9 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    Starting Divorce Process

    We were just about to talk about division of things when my 25 year old son came in. Those talks are postponed, but I expect them today to continue. I've been moving toward this for four years. In many ways I have been preparing her for it too so that is not this huge...
    justbeit justbeit 46-50, M 3 Responses Jan 27, 2013

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    I've Been Paralyzed In Indecision For Almost Two Years, And Have To Do Something.

    I’m twisted up in knots inside. I have been going through hell for more than a year, and I’ve been putting my wife through hell for that time too. I’ve told her that I am not sure I want to stay married. We’ve been living together in a state of limbo. It’s been a...
    shellofmyself shellofmyself 51-55 11 Responses May 27, 2011

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    How do I end it? I have a 'timeline' in my

    head. I would like to be single by summer. I can't take he and his kids loving here then. And I've got lots of plans... What do I say to pull the plug? It's been 3 years.
    wrightlover wrightlover 31-35, F 4 Responses Mar 24

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    Dating A Married Woman

    The last couple of months I've been dating a married woman. I am 55 and was widowed in 2005. She is 51. We've grown to love each other very much and last week I bought her a promise ring. She says her marriage is over. She has slept in a different bedroom from her husband and...
    lablubber lablubber 51-55, M Jun 30, 2013

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    It's a tale as old as time - stay

    for the kids. I have always said I would stay for the sake of my daughter. I would decide what direction to take after she leaves home. That was the plan. I wasn't veering from my plan. But she is in high school and it has become increasingly apparent that she sees our...
    Steph613 Steph613 41-45, F 7 Responses Mar 27

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    Marriage Counseling Outrage

    Imagine the following scenario: A couple walks into a marriage counselor and explain that they are in a cycle of abuse and need help breaking out of it. The wife explains that her husband has attacked her, has hit her, has thrown things at her, has threatened her life, has...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 23 Responses May 27, 2011

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    Where To Go From Here...

    I came from a very violent past, not only by my biological parents but, from my adoptive family and my siblings. I have faced my Father dying after a 2 year fight with cancer in which he was provided home care (so there was no escape from the process.) Shortly after my brother...
    agpv2316 agpv2316 26-30, F Jul 31, 2013

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    Marrage

    Havent slept with wife in 17 yrs.She dont want sex and expectes me to be the same.She is 15 yrs older than me and is now sickly also.
    morgandonaldduck morgandonaldduck 56-60, M 4 Responses May 31, 2013

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    Torture Of Relationship Ambivalence

    I just got this book called "Too Good to Leave, Too Bad to Stay" by Mira Kirshenbaum. It has been an excellent resource, it talks about how horrible it is to be in that spot where you are trying to figure out whether to stay in the relationship or leave, and how people typically...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 2 Responses Aug 4, 2013

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    The Bellydance Analogy

    This story explains how I came to understand and embrace differentiation in my marriage. After I understood this, I no longer felt conflicted about whether to stay or go. I have been a bellydancer for nearly 8 years. It is a huge part of my life, and it brings me an immense...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 25 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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    Choosing Between The Two (I'm Having An Affair)

    I recently (very recent) got married to my boyfriend of 3+ years and within this time frame I met another man. This other guy and my now husband has no idea that i am basically living a double life. I never thought of having an affair but my now husband and i have been going...
    ratt2728 ratt2728 22-25, F 2 Responses Sep 18, 2013

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    I Took My Vows Seriously But...

    I had a long term year marriage that ended in death 12 yrs. ago. When I moved to FL. in 2002 after a major layoff I joined a dating site that had membership fees. I have to admit I met some really nice men that I became best/great friends with though we have never met. 63 months...
    theuniqueldy theuniqueldy 61-65, F 2 Responses Jun 27, 2013

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    11 Days Of Hellish Self-learning

    It has been 11 days since I've really eaten. I've had a few meals since then, perhaps a small meal once every day or two. It has been very emotionally traumatic for me. During those 11 days I have made several hard realizations about myself. These are not aspects of myself I am...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 4 Responses Apr 19, 2011

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    Caught My Husband Remotely Spying On Me On My Computer

    About 2 months ago I left my husband of almost 8 years and moved across town.  We agreed that we did both still love each other and would continue to be married and spend time together etc.  For almost our entire marriage I have suspected that he was snooping on my personal...
    shellhopp shellhopp 41-45 21 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    I've been married to my husband

    for 5 years. We have been in a relationship for 10 years. When we got married we bought a house. Then he quit his job. He hasn't had a job since. He keeps telling me he'll get one. But I don't see it happening. I push myself very hard to make as much money as possible to...
    TheAlchemistIsIn TheAlchemistIsIn 26-30, F 4 Responses a week ago

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    Is It a Marriage?

    I am wondering how I got to this point in my life.  My husband and I have not had sex for 15 years.  I have been having affairs for three.  I don't tell anyone about my private life.  I have been lucky, I have found men I can trust who are in similiar...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 90 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Is This An Affair

    Last night my husband posted this on Facebook. Feeling shy and awkward around that work colleague you like because you don't know how to tell them you've had an erotic dream about them. Simply sleep with them then break the ice by announcing " You've just broken my dream...
    Momamoo Momamoo 46-50, F 5 Responses May 29, 2013

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    My Breaking Heart

    My heart is breaking over our very difficult marriage.  I feel so alone and isolated.  I love and care for her but am not sure I can go on living like this.  When I think of love I look at it in two ways.  One is the romantic love that keeps the fires...
    KingofPain KingofPain 41-45, M 18 Responses Oct 7, 2007

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    Okay... Here It Goes

    So I originally posted in the sexless marriage group when I joined EP. I will update on that here. There are actually a few reasons outside of our sex life as to why our marriage is suffering and I'm posting here. My husband has some wonderful qualities. He is very giving and...
    LadyCheshireCat LadyCheshireCat 22-25, F 26 Responses May 5, 2011

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    I love my wife very much been married 2 years.

    She can be a really moody person she is a Gemini and also very self centered. I been messing up myself hanging out late with the fellas till like 3-4 in the a.m. She caused me to behave a certain way she gives me a lack of sex affection attention she doesn't make me feel like...
    ricodon ricodon 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 12

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    How Much Is Enough!!

    Do men ever change? Long story short...I married my true love 10 years ago. The first affair I Found out about was 5 years ago. They both denied it till a year after when ppl in my small town was talkin and sayin that the other woman daughter was his!! Finally she told me they...
    Kidsrmylife Kidsrmylife 31-35 2 Responses May 17, 2013

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    My Husband Cheating On Me

    I accidentally caught my husband is stepped out from our marriage this past Saturday. So I confront him and ask him who is the girl on his Ipod screen saver. He told me it just a model (which I know it is a lie). I don't know how long he is cheating on me but I just caught it...
    Jang1974 Jang1974 36-40, F 5 Responses Nov 13, 2013

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    Here I Am Again

    One day earlier this year I finally told my husband that I couldn't take anymore and I wanted to separate. He freaked out and began yelling and cursing at me. I just turned and walked out of the room and I headed straight out the door. He chased after me. I was about to get in my...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2012

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    Been Decided :)

    I have come to the conclusion that if you need to "decide" if you are going to stay then you should probably already be gone.
    TKD1 TKD1 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 29, 2013

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    I feel so lost that I don't know what to do

    with my marriage. My husband and I just celebrated 2 years of marriage and its been nothing but chaos! He is very childish how he deals with things and theres so many things he hides. I have trust issues with him bc he's emotionally cheated with a girl on here!!! and he...
    confuzzzed7 confuzzzed7 41-45 9 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    I have 4 children.. 12, 10, 7 and a 39 year old husband who refuses to grow up! He is an outdoor type of person with numerous hobbies. Camping, fishing, mountain-bike riding, bushwalking, 4 wheel driving, kayaking, playing with his remote controlled cars, making things with his...
    earthboundangel earthboundangel 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 7, 2011

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    Will I Ever Decide??

    I was speaking with a friend the other day and during the conversation, she asked if things have gotten any better in my marriage.  Truthfully, the answer is no.  Last week, I realized that it wasn't that I thought I didn't love him anymore, it 's that I really don't...
    goddessone goddessone 41-45, F 23 Responses Mar 19, 2008

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    "Choosing a rightful partner"

    This was a good passage from a book I am currently reading called "To Love and Be Loved" by Sam Keen: "How do I best choose my rightful partner? Do I fall back on the prosaic- common interests, values, lifestyles, goals? In which case knowledge becomes the litmus test. Or do I...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Jun 1, 2013

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    My Husband Wants A Divorce

    I have been married with my husband for only 10 months now and he wants a divorce. I caught him cheating on me a month ago but decided to start anew and continue with our relationship. We agreed to not look back on what happened so we can start fresh. But before we have agreed on...
    Mountainlove Mountainlove 22-25 207 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    Hopeful - A New Start

    We talked… He is trying to be aware of his moods and actions and how they have an effect on me. He is more thoughtful and loving. We talked about my anxiety and he has been so wonderful. He says we are in this together and if we don’t help each other it will never work…. He...
    wistfulwanderer wistfulwanderer 36-40, F Apr 1, 2013

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    Sh** Or Get Off The Pot..

    Its been 9 or so years, weve been married. My 3rd his 4th, altho he lied about that, too. Anyhoo, first five , ive never been so happy, never felt so lived, never felt more right, never loved a person like I did him- inseperable. One thing- every am for almost 6 years- EVERY AM...
    No1zfoolagn No1zfoolagn 46-50, F 1 Response Oct 4, 2013

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    Final Chapter

    My wife and I have separated and have moved into separate apartments. I have made contact with an attorney in order to start the divorce process. My only priority now is to protect my son, and to ensure he has the best possible upbringing in the aftermath of all of this.
    LordHammercy LordHammercy 31-35, M 11 Responses Jul 15, 2013

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    Related Experiences

    I am afraid that I'll end up alone. I have loved and been loved. But sometimes love just isn't enough. Not when you push that person away... When you push them away so much that...
    maraselene maraselene 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 6