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I Need to Decide If I'll Stay In My Marriage

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,127 People

    Just had the big "D" talk with the wife.

    We have not had a good marriage for 6 years or so. Been married 13 years with two kids (8 and 11). We don't fight but we do argue. Our marriage started out perfect. Now the talk from her was she's more concerned about how she could afford to leave or not than working on the...
    slim156 slim156 41-45, M 2 Responses Jun 16, 2014

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    Never imagined myself posting in this section

    but here goes. So I've been married over 12 years now and to be honest after reading all the stories here, I wouldn't say I have a bad or an abusive marriage, it's just there's no marriage. Living with my husband is like sharing a house with any other friend. I live my life...
    destiny2015 destiny2015 36-40, F 5 days ago

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    Bad Reason To Stay Married #6

    Loneliness. Singledom is a lonely prospect, particularly if you’ve been married for any length of time. Staying with your partner only because you’d be too lonely on your own is one of the weakest reasons out there for staying in a marriage. Focus on the other relationships...
    Sunshinegoneforever Sunshinegoneforever 51-55, F 1 Response Feb 15, 2013

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    When love knocked my door

    and I wasn't ready yet ' For long time ago I promise to my self not gonna fall Inlove with somebody .. Because I know that it will just destroyed me for some reason .. One time come in my life while I am all in the battle of being confused who I am and who I want to be...
    marianlee marianlee 22-25, F Jul 7, 2014

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    All it seems I do lately is think.

    I think mostly of what I want to say to my wife. I run through hours of conversation, what to start with, which points are best to touch on at which points during. I become absolutely confident that I can start the talk, and that I'm ready to hash out "the big ones...
    gator613 gator613 26-30, M 4 Responses Jul 22, 2014

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    Still Not Sure How To Decide, Feeling Like I Could Do Better

    My husband stopped being completely crazy about 7 months ago, and we have rebuilt trust. He started trying to spend time together, he tells me how lucky he is to have me, we are having sex normally again with him initiating, he is talking about investing in the future and is...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Nov 24, 2013

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    At the Crossroads

    ****** THIS IS AN OLD STORY. WE HAVE DIVORCED.********   So - this morninig I asked hubby to leave.  I want a separation while we go through counselling, and I think that the emotional state of our house is in shambles.  I need to step up and...
    MizzBlue72 MizzBlue72 36-40, F 17 Responses Nov 23, 2008

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    Had that gut feeling something was off,

    so I became the CIA and FBI even when I was not at home. Just as I thought my husband was spending a lot of time talking to or about someone and it was not me. After a month of doing this and I had the verbal smoking gun, I sent him a few selected clips of what I had heard...
    littlefroghere littlefroghere 41-45, F 3 Responses Nov 15, 2014

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    My husband and I have been having some issues.

    For those who have read my last experience. We sat down and talked. I was thinking maybe we where having some if those issues ,because we don't spend enough time together. So after the talk a day later. What do you know? We are back at it. I ask if he could spend a little time...
    OverPowered1 OverPowered1 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 9, 2014

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    Is It a Marriage?

    I am wondering how I got to this point in my life.  My husband and I have not had sex for 15 years.  I have been having affairs for three.  I don't tell anyone about my private life.  I have been lucky, I have found men I can trust who are in similiar...
    Kelki Kelki 46-50, F 84 Responses Oct 26, 2008

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    Caught My Husband Remotely Spying On Me On My Computer

    About 2 months ago I left my husband of almost 8 years and moved across town.  We agreed that we did both still love each other and would continue to be married and spend time together etc.  For almost our entire marriage I have suspected that he was snooping on my personal...
    shellhopp shellhopp 41-45 23 Responses Jan 2, 2012

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    I am getting a divorce.

    The reason I know it's the right thing to do is that it feels right. I don't feel guilty, or indecisive, or wonder if there is anything left for me to do that I haven't done. I can see why it worked and why it failed. I have read ten books, been to two years of relationship...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 Jun 30, 2014

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    I hate being married to my husband.

    We have been together for 12 years and married for 2 years.His a cheater a liar and I just found out I was pregant everything is horrible.
    prest03 prest03 31-35, F 1 Response Jul 20, 2014

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    I go back and forth on this decision.

    It's such a hassle to get divorced this days. Lawyers and judges in VA never make it easy.
    Booksaremypassion Booksaremypassion 41-45, F 3 Responses May 6, 2014

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    Marriage (a Must Read)

    (I'm not married and never have been....But I would like to share something with this group and I hope it helps somebody) _______________________________________________________________________________________________________________ MARRIAGE (unknown author) When I got...
    DeenaMonroe DeenaMonroe 26-30, F 18 Responses Sep 5, 2010

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    Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

    I have 4 children.. 12, 10, 7 and a 39 year old husband who refuses to grow up! He is an outdoor type of person with numerous hobbies. Camping, fishing, mountain-bike riding, bushwalking, 4 wheel driving, kayaking, playing with his remote controlled cars, making things with his...
    earthboundangel earthboundangel 36-40, F 10 Responses Jan 7, 2011

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    Been Decided :)

    I have come to the conclusion that if you need to "decide" if you are going to stay then you should probably already be gone.
    TKD1 TKD1 46-50, F 5 Responses Oct 29, 2013

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    The Bellydance Analogy

    This story explains how I came to understand and embrace differentiation in my marriage. After I understood this, I no longer felt conflicted about whether to stay or go. I have been a bellydancer for nearly 8 years. It is a huge part of my life, and it brings me an immense...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 25 Responses Jun 13, 2011

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    The absolute best and worst part of being in an

    extremely intimate relationship is seeing the worst aspects of each other and being able to handle those worst aspects and grow from them. Before The Horrible First Year, I was excited to deal with relationship challenges and the growth that would occur as a result of these...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 1 Response Feb 1, 2014

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    I've been married to my husband

    for 5 years. We have been in a relationship for 10 years. When we got married we bought a house. Then he quit his job. He hasn't had a job since. He keeps telling me he'll get one. But I don't see it happening. I push myself very hard to make as much money as possible to...
    TheAlchemistIsIn TheAlchemistIsIn 26-30, F 4 Responses Apr 15, 2014

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    I've been married for 6 1/2 years.

    3 months ago my husband had to confess to cheating because he tested positive for chlamydia. I was devastated. I couldn't believe it. Throughout our 13 year relationship I never thought he would hurt me like this. We've had our ups and downs, like any other couple but nothing...
    Kylamama518 Kylamama518 26-30, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    Confusing Moment

    I don't know what will happen. My marriage wasn't entirely sexless, but was far from happy. Then, I came out of my shell and had a relationship. My wife knew about it. Now, my relationship has ended, and the wife wants me back.Wife and myself talk intensely. Even about genitals...
    AgeingThinker AgeingThinker 61-65, M 3 Responses Apr 27, 2012

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    Here I Am Again

    One day earlier this year I finally told my husband that I couldn't take anymore and I wanted to separate. He freaked out and began yelling and cursing at me. I just turned and walked out of the room and I headed straight out the door. He chased after me. I was about to get in my...
    howsab howsab 31-35, F 1 Response Oct 8, 2012

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    Reasons Why I'm Staying

    I wrote a post almost close to a year ago about why I want to leave my marriage. I went on and on and I recieved comments telling me to leave now while I'm still young. Since then, I have deleted the story because I felt a little exposed (I gave too many details haha.) But I'm...
    Lovely0521 Lovely0521 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 25, 2012

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    He just told me tonight

    that basically I want to talk to him to much, I want to be around him to much, I wasn't sex to much and I'm trying to trap him up in the house. wtf? aren't these all things normal people want. I don't see him that much so I grab the chances when I can. I guess I'm wasting my...
    2isbetterthan1 2isbetterthan1 31-35, F 6 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    The Hardest Thing

    In six more days it will have been a month. It has been a month of tears, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, remorse, revenge, pity parties, endless questions, fear, and indecision. There are endless reasons to end this: 1. He cheated; 2. I don't trust him; 3. He will probably...
    4purrfectdarkness 4purrfectdarkness 26-30, F 5 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    Hi, I just registered

    and this is the first time I am sharing something that is so difficult for me...I came to this forum because I feel I am breaking inside. I am 36, married to what I thought would be the love of my life forever, we are expecting our first baby after 2 years of trying and doing...
    esti1978 esti1978 36-40, F 6 Responses Nov 7, 2014

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    My husband and I split up today,

    we've been together since we were 16, and married for 4.5 years. He's a wonderful man, honest, hard working, and more then caring and thoughtful. He's my best friend. I don't know a life without him. Over the last year or so, I've experienced some things, felt things I never...
    TheLittleDreamer TheLittleDreamer 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 6

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    Since I moved out, Hubs has found the strength

    and motivation to do things he "couldn't" do while we were together. I feel so hurt - he wouldn't work a job for ME... Wouldn't take down his mother's awful artwork in our home for ME... Wouldn't be polite or social for ME... Wouldn't let ME stay in our home. Now that I'm...
    FakeIsTheNewReal FakeIsTheNewReal 31-35, F 3 Responses Jun 24, 2014

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    I've been married for 16 years.

    We 3 children 12, 8, 4 I got married at the age of 23. I met my husband when I was 16 years old. Like all relationships everything was great at the beginning when we met but that's because I never knew his family. He's from India and I'm South American. So us being together is...
    Dimples604 Dimples604 41-45, F 1 Response Jun 10, 2014

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    I have fried nerves today.

    All he did was scream at me. I took half a lexotonil. Should have taken a full one because my headache is not going. We work together so separating private and professional life is hard for him and he's mentally upset me yet again. I mean I'm not hurt. My nerves and temped are...
    melancholic28 melancholic28 26-30, F 1 Response Apr 12, 2014

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    So I just got the I love you

    but I'm not in love with you speech. We've been married for 13 years. She doesn't want to leave (from what I can tell). Is there any way to really recover from that? Has anybody else been told that and are still married?
    slim156 slim156 41-45, M 5 Responses Jul 20, 2014

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    I Am Very Curious....

    with the national divorce rate now at 53% the chance that you will get divorced is greater than the chance you will stay married. my parents are divorced. my mom is going through her second as we speak. married men hit on me non stop. i know women and men having affairs...
    LittleLady LittleLady 19-21, F 41 Responses Feb 25, 2008

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    I feel so lost that I don't know what to do

    with my marriage. My husband and I just celebrated 2 years of marriage and its been nothing but chaos! He is very childish how he deals with things and theres so many things he hides. I have trust issues with him bc he's emotionally cheated with a girl on here!!! and he...
    confuzzzed7 confuzzzed7 41-45 6 Responses Dec 25, 2013

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    I'm 25 and I joined this group 3 years ago.

    I made a post about being unhappy in my marriage over 2 years ago and guess what? I'm STILL miserable! I hate the thought of having to stay with him forever but I'm still so concerned about my son. He is a very sensitive 6-year-old and he will be destroyed if we split. My...
    Lovely0521 Lovely0521 22-25, F 3 Responses Oct 30, 2014

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    What To Do...

    I love my husband but I'm not in love with him. We have known each other for 12 years and been married for 8. I'm feeling like he married me just to have someone wait on him. He can't do anything for himself. When I bring something up, he gets really mad. I think he has...
    LookingforLove63 LookingforLove63 51-55, F 6 Responses Jun 20, 2011

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    The Subtle Difference Between Holding A Hand And Chaining A Soul

    After a while you learn the subtle difference Between holding a hand and chaining a soul, And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning And company doesn't mean security. And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts And presents aren't promises, And you begin to...
    aldsjkl aldsjkl 26-30 3 Responses May 27, 2013

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    I love my wife very much been married 2 years.

    She can be a really moody person she is a Gemini and also very self centered. I been messing up myself hanging out late with the fellas till like 3-4 in the a.m. She caused me to behave a certain way she gives me a lack of sex affection attention she doesn't make me feel like...
    ricodon ricodon 36-40, M 3 Responses Jan 12, 2014

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    I have been with my partner

    for over 10 years, best friends for 5 years before that and now Married for 3 years... I thought I knew him better than myself, but have been sorely mistaken. My husband works for a family business, we have experienced financial problems for the past 2 and a half years from his...
    Smudge5002 Smudge5002 31-35, F 2 Responses Feb 15

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    I Miss My Wife.

    Most of the time I live with a woman who used to be funny, kind and wonderful. I think about her all the time and wonder where she went. The lady she has been replaced with seems to forget that I even exist. I remain hopeful but am almost at the end of my rope.
    jmc132 jmc132 41-45, M 16 Responses Feb 9, 2011

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    Okay... Here It Goes

    So I originally posted in the sexless marriage group when I joined EP. I will update on that here. There are actually a few reasons outside of our sex life as to why our marriage is suffering and I'm posting here. My husband has some wonderful qualities. He is very giving and...
    CheshireKitten CheshireKitten 26-30, F 26 Responses May 5, 2011

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    i go back and forth with this bc he's still him.

    he's not going to change. I'm torn about what to do. he's against counseling. i know he loves me, but.... (sigh)
    Platana2100 Platana2100 31-35, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    Hello, so I have been married

    for 5 year but been with this man for 14 years. He is the father of all our kids. OK so about 6 years ago he got abusive. I was pregnant with our 2nd son. He begged and begged for me to stay. Then it happened with our 3rd kid. It was on and off abuse well before our 4th kid he...
    mommygonecrazy4 mommygonecrazy4 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 8, 2014

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    Feeling Guilty Over The Idea Of Leaving

    I have been struggling with the notion of divorcing my wife of 24 yrs for a couple of years now. After some counseling and long talks with the most trusted people in my life, I realize that I will never be happy in this marriage. Although she hates the idea of me leaving, I think...
    Alecberg Alecberg 46-50, M 5 Responses Jun 20, 2012

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    How do I end it? I have a 'timeline' in my

    head. I would like to be single by summer. I can't take he and his kids loving here then. And I've got lots of plans... What do I say to pull the plug? It's been 3 years.
    wrightlover wrightlover 31-35, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    Being Able To Even Consider It Made All The Difference

    For me, for years, I could never contemplate divorce. It simply wasn't an option. I felt that I would be miserable and regret my failed marriage for the rest of my days. Then things changed. I could start to imagine myself happy with someone else. I could actually hope that...
    accomplice accomplice 41-45, M 11 Responses Nov 2, 2010

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    My Husband Wants A Divorce

    I have been married with my husband for only 10 months now and he wants a divorce. I caught him cheating on me a month ago but decided to start anew and continue with our relationship. We agreed to not look back on what happened so we can start fresh. But before we have agreed on...
    Mountainlove Mountainlove 26-30 205 Responses Jun 11, 2013

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    You Will Be Called Upon To Expand.

    Choosing to stay and work on your marriage when you are deeply unhappy is one of the hardest things you will do in life. I am learning that it is not supposed to be "easy" indefinitely. It is not some concrete thing you "fix". It is a process that never ends. You get out of...
    ModLulu ModLulu 36-40, F 1 Response Mar 14, 2013

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    stealthcat stealthcat 61-65, M 1 Response Jul 14, 2014

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    I got married when I was 17,

    I was expecting my Frist baby, we been together since I'm 25 now :) going on 26, we have 3 beautiful Daughters now. I believe marriage is not like a fairytale you will have ups and downs, I grow up with my mom and dad I saw a lot off this so I believe is normal. When we start...
    Marialz Marialz 22-25, F 2 Responses Jan 30

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    Elimination

    For 14 years i have been married to a man whos mouth and off the wall temper has more than once.... ripped my heart out and left me lifeless. I have tried many time to get rid of him, but he refuses to leave.... i am one heck of a good wife....i work, clean, feed and wait on...
    MorningBreeze MorningBreeze 56-60, F 50 Responses Jun 26, 2010