I Need to Learn the Art of Small Talk

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 306 People

    "IDLE Chit Chat"

    I need to learn the art of small talk.  I have always wanted to have the 'gift of gab', but it just wasn't happening.  I can express my thoughts on paper for days on end,  but idle chit chat just doesn't work for me.
    Insomniac Insomniac
    51-55, F
    2 Responses May 27, 2008

    I Say Random Things

    A good part of my job is meeting and greeting important guests and there is only so many times i can mention the weather without breaking into a fit of laughing or surreal silence.  I tend to be able to talk straight away about deep things yet when it comes to a lot of...
    deleted deleted
    15 Responses Sep 26, 2008

    Don't Want to Do It

    I hate small talk and I'm really bad at it but I feel as if to get on in this world I need to be able to do it. Which sucks because I don't want to do it. I even think I'm bad at it on here. I just can't hold a conversation with someone. Gah! Small talk just seems so pointless...
    UnseenBlossom UnseenBlossom
    18-21, F
    5 Responses Jan 10, 2009

    After Hello! How Are You?

    I have NO IDEA what to say! I'll start asking questions then start telling them stuff about me and all the while freaking out that the person wants to run or I'm overly babbling!
    GoddessNakiBean GoddessNakiBean
    36-40, F
    2 Responses Jan 10, 2009

    It Comes and Goes

    Sometimes, I can b.s. with the best of 'em.  But other times, I have crippling social anxiety and being in public is almost painful for me.  Usually comes in with the big depressive phases, and I am in therapy so hopeully that will help.
    atali atali
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 14, 2008

    Definitely Wrong Time Period. Definitely.

    Two friends and I were at an opening night party of an awesome play... I think it was called something along the lines of The Seagull in the Hamptons... (a stellar adaptation of Chekhov's "The Seagull")... In any case, it was all black dresses and champagne flutes...
    realitychallenged realitychallenged
    16-17, F
    4 Responses May 27, 2008

    Small Talk!!

    i really do need to learn the art of small talk!! i wouldnt say so much in terms of talking to guys, cos i can talk to them about soccer and different sports and man stuff, but when it comes to women, im like "how are you?" and she'll say "im fine, and you?"...
    cowshed123 cowshed123
    36-40, M
    1 Response Oct 14, 2009

    Why Is It So Important Anyway?

    Today I got a bitter reminder of how vital small talk is when in social situations with strangers. I was going to go study in the library--I have three days to write a ten page essay that everyone else in my class gets eight days to do--when I guy I am only faintly aquainted with...
    Yellowrhapsody Yellowrhapsody
    16-17, F
    6 Responses May 27, 2008

    Most Definitely

    God, I suck at small talk. I have so much going on in my little head, so much to say, but then when someone starts with the small talk, my mind draws a complete blank. So there I stand looking like I'm some sort of snob or mute, people staring at me, wondering if I'm ever going...
    Rougejigga Rougejigga
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Oct 11, 2011

    Its Fairly Essential

    who are you, what do you do?(oh i know some1 how does that) after that, that when small talk is needed. fe*c it i need to learn it hate that unpleast silence
    maraconor maraconor
    22-25, M
    Jan 31, 2008

    Not Even In Taxis!

    so finally it hit me... and hit me hard I got on a cab yesterday night, i was heading home and all alone. After I asked the taxi driver to take me to my destination, he laughed and said he came exactlly from where i was going, and that he lived far away from there.. blablabla. I...
    danonino0o danonino0o
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Jul 26, 2011

    Very Difficult

    Even tonight, as I was at the club, I found it very difficult to approach girls. I just can't seem to do it. I somehow feel perpetually inadequate to them. Ive become very lonely in recent months, and the feeling is making me physically ill on various...
    hellas93 hellas93
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 11, 2009

    Hate It

    It's pretty hard for me to make small talk with people. I think this is mostly due to the fact that I don't give a ****. Sometimes if I feel talkative I'll try to engage someone. Doesn't always work. And other times, I can't stand that awful awkward silence so I try to talk...
    kleisse kleisse
    22-25, F
    Jan 10, 2009


    Honestly? I never really know what to talk to people about, unless I know them... If, by some off chance, I should end up conversing with a random stranger face to face, I usually end up talking about my son, to be honest. He's a great conversation starter. Especially when he...
    iFortiTude iFortiTude
    1 Response Jul 11, 2008

    I Hate Small Talk

    It is not exciting at all obviously, and I only do it when I first meet someone until I get to know them. I want to talk BIG not small. :) :D
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Apr 30, 2011

    Tips and Tricks

    I can really relate to this problem!  I used to be so shy and tongue-tied with strangers. It took me years to learn how to do small-talk.  I can do it now, but I still feel uncomfortable with it.  But I've discovered a couple of things that usually get a...
    61-65, F
    1 Response May 28, 2008


    This is why its so hard for me to meet new people in the first place. I've never been good with the "Hey? How are you?! (insert random talk of weather here)" I lose interest quickly if smalltalk continues for long intervals. It just seems....wrong to me. Feigned...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 11, 2009

    Doesn't Work Well For Me

    I know how it works, I just can't use it. I have an extraordinarily open mindset, so I don't really have anything I can bring up and contribute an opinion towards. I'm not interested in talking about things that don't interest me. So what else is there for me to talk about?
    chalkdust chalkdust
    18-21, M
    1 Response Feb 20, 2009


    I absolutely hate the idea of small talk because I can't understand the concept of a "middle ground of conversation." I'm either talking too much or too little. I'm always wondering if the person is thinking that I'm strange, and they usually are.
    lpafiluvr65 lpafiluvr65
    18-21, F
    Feb 11, 2009

    Random Thoughts On Communication

    It's true that I'd like to work on my small-talk skills but more than that I need a deeper understanding as to what is expected from me by others. What role am I suppose to play? What's appropriate? What am I suppose to talk about again? I'll admit that this often escapes me. I...
    elling245 elling245
    36-40, F
    1 Response Oct 9, 2013

    Thats Some Weather We've Been Having...

    uh - yeah, some weather.
    jasonk jasonk
    36-40, M
    May 27, 2008

    Sharing Is Therapeutic

    I don't like talking about myself. I find it tedious; It tires me to hear myself recant things that I have already lived and know about. I also find it tedious to hear of others events that I am already familiar with. I think that it is safe to say that I don't like small talk...
    MissJaded MissJaded
    31-35, F
    Jan 7, 2013

    Forced Small Talk

    I absolutley hate how my job kind of forces us into small talk.  I work in retail and I have to approach the customers in order to offer them one of our store "perks".  So of course sometimes I have to make small talk as I am waiting in line with these idiots...
    likwidsnd likwidsnd
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Sep 14, 2008

    Unnavoidable Awkwardness

    just my take on these awkward exchanges.. http://mynormalthoughts.blogspot.com/
    ginoz10 ginoz10
    Nov 7, 2010

    I suck at small talk.

    All I want is to fit in with everybody else in the room, but I'm lousy at small talk. I want to have endless conversations with that girl sitting at the opposite end of the bar but I just don't know how to hold an interesting conversation. I don't think I ever will.
    Benster5 Benster5
    Apr 3, 2015

    Small Or Big Always Problem

    It takes a while before i actually talk to someone and never about me. I have very few friends and yet they don't know me but I do everything about them. I always loose control when I need to talk to someone so I rather don't. Guess have to learn the small talk first.
    41-45, M
    3 Responses Aug 9, 2008

    Rather Than The Weather

    At work the other day it hit me quite hard the fact that I am not great at small talking. There is this guy who works from time to time and boy, do I admire the way he can easily drift from one topic to another depending on the person he is speaking to. Yes, it is no secret he...
    BellaFairy BellaFairy
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jan 8, 2012


    That in the art of small talk no one has shared a story.
    Oregano Oregano
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 31, 2008
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