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I Never Could Imagine I'd Be Where I Am Today

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 93 People

    Happy

    It took Stepping up. Sincerely having Enough of pain. To Finally say Here Comes The chance to give Life a Fighting Moment. Since The Big Break, It feels Like Burden are Lifted. I feel like a Big Part of Me has Taken It's Course. I Haven't Felt this happy in About 2 years. I...
    matthewsmommy matthewsmommy 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 17, 2008

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    I Appreciate It All

    I grew up poor; first generation Irish. If you remember the triple decker where Damon lived in Good Will Hunting, well that's where I grew up. Maybe not that exact one, but you get the idea. Nineteen kids lived in house next door spread across three 1,200 sq. ft. apartments...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 9, 2011

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    O No...

    I never thought I would be here today.... I thought I was either going to be six feet under... I'm still alive and kicking.. In a mental hospital... Nope my disorders are doing so much better... Or in rehab.... Doing to whole rehab thing on my own and it's doing great... I just...
    XLunaXLovegoodX XLunaXLovegoodX 22-25, F 5 Responses Jul 18, 2008

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    Thought I Had At Least a Chance

    Never did i think i would be where i am today couch surfing- watching history repeat itself Never did i think i would be where i am today more jaded than when i was 14, more sure of what i knew even then and yet.... still punching my time card on this rock  True i...
    tulick tulick 31-35, F 1 Response Jun 20, 2008

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    I Always Thought...

    I always thought that I'd want love forever. Always need to need someone. Always want to want someone. But I don't anymore. I just want to learn me, that's all. It's what I've become. Things like hate and love are irrelevant now. There is only learning.
    LylaRocks LylaRocks 26-30, F 2 Responses Feb 10, 2009

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    And Not In A Good Way...

    I thought I would be more.  I imagined I would have done more. 
    Iamnobodywhoareyou Iamnobodywhoareyou 22-25, F May 21, 2010

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    Who Woulda Thought..

     I woulda never thought i would be in my grandmother's house-and she'd be dead. Never thought i'd be at the school that i'm at. Never thougt my grades would be like they are, or i'd have this terrible procrastination prob.
    lostprophet lostprophet 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 7, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    1. Take a trip- I want this to be a trip sans relatives. Even if it's a trip by myself. I just wanna go somewhere and get some peace of mind and enjoy myself in a place where no...
    fairytalesandspiderwebs fairytalesandspiderwebs 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    You came into my life as just another person. I didn't accept for you to be the one I'd start falling for.. The one who finally made me happy. But I'm the dumbass who didn't...
    KittayGoesRawrxD KittayGoesRawrxD 16-17, F Jul 13

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    I wish I had more positive childhood memories with my mother growing up. She made many poor decisions throughout my lifetime and unfortunately we've never been very close. It's...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    TESTIMONIALMY PERSONAL STORYI am 64 years old and have had nine years of chronic pain following an accident. I have numerous blown discs in my back and neck, and for about two...
    kurtrbr1975 kurtrbr1975 36-40, M Jul 4

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    I always have imagined of living in a world where everyone is really fat! The average person would weigh around 600lbs and most fast food places would be free and you could have it...
    Joannegainer93 Joannegainer93 22-25, F 15 Responses Jul 13

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    I spent most of my life with one woman, We raised one child together, built a house together and lived a very comfortable life financially for almost forty five years. She was...
    bjf102 bjf102 66-70 2 Responses Jul 5

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    I've always had dreams of going traveling, just getting on a boat and exploring all different countries taking in all different cultures and learning new stiff about them countries...
    Vik91 Vik91 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    Numb I feel nothing at all. Inside I am dead. I hit the ground, but do not fall. I'm lost within my head. I swallow the pill that makes it go away. I become numb. I feel no...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    Mind of Mirrors I glance in a mirror, I realise I fear her, This feral dirty *****. She's scratching where I itch. She glares through her hair, I'm caught in her stare. Who is...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Comfortably Numb (Addiction) I feel so numb Unfeeling even I was feeling in the beginning Of my day today Though I didn't like what I felt So like any addict I turn to my...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I thought he was my soul mate, but I see I was wrong. We liked all the same things, we were best friends. We raised two dogs together and started a business together. We started...
    FakeIsTheNewReal FakeIsTheNewReal 31-35, F Jul 17

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    I've never had children and lately I've been having a feeling that I don't want to. I loved reading the experiences on this feed because some mums actually wish they never had...
    Alf8964 Alf8964 18-21, F Jun 29

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    Numb Numbness how did you come to hold, So strong a grasp that's crushed my soul? How did you rob me, strong and vain, and now you linger where once was pain, Like Fire raging...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    so innocent, startled and scared by a man. Unbelievablely submissive. I uncontrollably surrender. Willingly
    SingingHeartsNow SingingHeartsNow 36-40, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Personally I do not believe in a perfect partner. And I think, that true love has to be lived in the real world on a day by day, week by week, year by year basis... and I believe...
    Soniador1963 Soniador1963 46-50, M 4 Responses Jun 28

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    Blank Walls All around me are blank walls Never moving, always the same Full of fools and a numbing pain Constantly wailing for a change These stupid grey walls Have me trapped...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    darkness, defined These empty pages, devoid of any defined reality, reign over hope more than any ink stains could bear, for this numbness resides, when pain no longer haunts the...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Drifting into Numbness I'm so tired of drifting through life. dragging my feet, not knowing or caring which way I'm heading. The world turns around me and I'm left behind. I just...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    numbness lately I've been having the feeling that I don't feel anything at all and nothing is as quite as concealing as this emotional wall all these painful situations occurring...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I was seventeen when I got pregnant -- My boyfriend (at the timetook me from abortion clinic to abortion clinic trying to get me to have an abortion as I cried and begged to keep...
    BrookeandAJSUCK BrookeandAJSUCK 51-55 3 Responses 2 days ago

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    There are stupid things ive done and said and i just wish i didnt. Idk i feel like everyone all my friends and everyone looks at me like im stupid. Even now i just am annoying...
    personidk personidk 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 5

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    Water Negative doubt creeps in like water slowly trickling down the drain. I try to submerge them but somehow they have air. I’m in a time and place were everything’s...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    **Pitiful Numb** Dear diary, Can anyone see this pitiful, being inside of me? Broken hearted, yet always singing? Nothing to smile for, yet always smiling. Torn apart, and never...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Not What I Used To Be I am not what I used to be. At least I don’t think it’s me. I would not know, Since now I just go with the flow. I used to be able to feel, I used...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Many -not all- of the cyber connections I make with people on here are transitory. We all have lives, we all have our own agendas. Not everyone you meet in life is destined to...
    shydate shydate 66-70, M 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Nothing Feeling Nothing Feeling Confusion What do I want to be? Happy or sad? Medicated or not? Hopeless or hopeful? Why do I always have to be in the middle? Or am I in the...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Louder than... Insanity of thought pervades my mind; if only incessant thinking would cease, but it runs rampant here, there, everywhere like a swelling stream into river...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I'm going to have boudoir photos taken this afternoon/evening. Bringing along lacy pretty outfits to wear..... ;-) UPDATE: The photo session went well. I did enjoy it! It's a...
    SmartKat SmartKat 46-50, F 13 Responses a week ago

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    1. Better at piano. 2. Find a true friend. 3. Save enough to do a kitchen remodel 4. Go scuba diving 5. Get my mom dad and In laws wills done 6. Pay off all debts. 7...
    ldlbell ldlbell 41-45, F 6 days ago

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    as the sun rises, like a zombie,Numbness trapped in this dream i watch life pass by; i wandered alone, fighting all that came in my way, struggling to make sense of this war, that...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    Numbness Numbness. Contradicting the pain I felt. Flooding through me like a dose of anesthesia. I lay. Paralyzed by the nothingness. Unable to bring myself to move. Conditioned...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    My Savior, Pain Too numb to care, far too broken inside, bring on the pain. Just let me know I'm alive. The pain made me numb, now let it bring me back. Let it undo this torture...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Numb I lie here, Intoxicated by numbness, It surrounds me like a cloud of thick smoke, Choking me, Seeping into my veins, my brain, I desperately search for some feeling, But my...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Lost There is nowhere to go Life like a maze Almost every turn a dead end Is there no way out Why am I here The lowest level of hell I'm cold and numb I can't find my way back...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    I Am Emotionless pit, endless fall To the depths of insanity I crawl Timeless confusion, reeking decent Can’t find my wits I am bent Lost feelings, numb mind Destination...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Well, besides working out a lot, I only do that to stay in shape for firefighting and EMS medic work. Some patients are very, and I see a lot of things out here. Not much to me...
    quietfighter quietfighter 18-21, M Jul 15

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    1)Finish education. 2)Go to Scotland. 3)Move out. 4)Get over anxiety and become more confident. 5)Get back into writing, music and art. 6)Get a tattoo or two. 7)Get a job. 8)Do...
    labyrinthandinfinity labyrinthandinfinity 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 17

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    I had been talking to and sharing my everything to a woman I met on experience project. Now, she has deactivated her account and I feel so bad about it. :( . I had been in love...
    kchahajur kchahajur 18-21, M 5 days ago

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    Slumber I surrender to the sacred slumber as the sun rises in the sky. An aching numbness pulses through my body as I have not slept for a little while. I surrender to the...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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    Lost In Numbness Lost in numbness for years Running from pain Trapped in the freezing rain Constantly numb Pain is better than nothing at all Pain without reason, a cause, or...
    Nataliefosterdoglover Nataliefosterdoglover 26-30, F Jul 7

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