I Pretend I Dont Care But Deep Down It's Killing Me

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 1,490 People

    PIZZA GUY where are you?

    ? 30 minutes or less??? Liar.
    deleted deleted
    Nov 20, 2015

    So this guy admitted

    that he likes me at the beginning of the schoolyear. I eventually started liking him too.. But then, he meets my super pretty friend. Everything just went down from there. Everytime I hear them hang out or spend so much time together, I get really jealous. I pretend that I don't...
    camillee camillee
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2014

    It hurts, but hurts so good.

    ..No pain, no gain!!!
    pyeito pyeito
    31-35, M
    Nov 9, 2014

    okay my best friend is always getting

    girlfriends and boyfriends and is always talking about it to ME and it really hurts because I've never had a boyfriend or girlfriend. and when she gets dumped she acts extremely sad and gets very depressed for a short time until she has a gf or bf. and she literally is almost...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jul 31, 2015

    I pretend that nothing is disturbing me That my

    issues are nothing compared to "bad" Move on Marilyn I tell myself Others have it worst Days go by And I bottle everything inside What's wrong? Nothing I'm fine. Because deep down I think I'll fix myself But that's only a false alarm
    mariishere mariishere
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Nov 9, 2014


    Deep down, where nobody can see me Deep down, where nobody can feel me Deep down, and nobody knows Deep down...it hurts There must be some way out of here... The answer is you? The answer is me? Together?
    Clothed Clothed
    41-45, M
    Apr 26, 2013

    I've been feeling good feelings towards my gf.

    We're in a long distance relationship and exams have just come up and now she feels as if I may not care about her as much as I did in the beginning which I know myself isn't true but it feels like she's trying to convince me that it is. It doesn't make me mad at her it just...
    kman312 kman312
    16-17, M
    Nov 18, 2014

    I'm about to do that now.

    I thought this person cared for me, but obviously, NOT! It hurts me, and inside, I'm dying, but they'll never know.
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Aug 2, 2015

    Thankyou, for trying to get to know me.

    ..I want to get to know you....This is really hard for me...things are really hard for me.....I don't know how to explain, but, i'm paralyzed...I want, I wish, I dream of all the things my life could be.....I stand there, still, like a statue watching the world walk me by......I...
    sevengirlchild sevengirlchild
    41-45, F
    3 Responses Aug 2, 2015

    "I Don't Care Anymore.

    .. " I just can't... There is just TOO much going wrong, all at once, and I can't fix ANY of it... I don't even feel like myself anymore ... and it totally f-ing sucks. This song is by Phil Collins.YouTube it. I can't figure out how to post a link to it.. I'm sorry...
    Likewise2 Likewise2
    46-50, F
    2 Responses Aug 30, 2015

    You see this smile? It's fake.

    You hear me laugh? I'm trying not to cry. When I shrug your comments and insults off, it feels like I'm being weighed down by bricks. And the funny thing is, I could tell you that I was "ok" with tears in my eyes, and you would still believe me.
    SkinnyIsPerfect SkinnyIsPerfect
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2014

    I had to admit it that it still hurt

    when you flirt with her
    KrissiaGeramie KrissiaGeramie
    18-21, F
    Sep 11, 2015

    I always pretend nothing bothers me

    when in reality I'm not this big, tough, emotionless ***** I make myself out to be. I'm actually really scared and fearful and just want to be protected.
    deleted deleted
    Sep 30, 2014

    I try my best to ignore the bully's insults

    and threats. On the outside I wear my mask of steal. No emotions what so ever slip by. Unless i let them. But on the inside I can't stop the thought going on in my head. I can't just sit down and take it. But I force myself to. If I don't then my mask will break and I can't let...
    DragonFaery DragonFaery
    13-15, F
    2 Responses Mar 19, 2016

    And it's hard .-. Knowing

    that you are talking to more people now, how you feel about things and wondering what you are telling them I try so hard to act like I don't know or care and sometimes I feel like I am going crazy trying not to look, or ask, or act interested Acting like I am on my phone busy or...
    KeKeNae KeKeNae
    22-25, F
    1 Response Mar 18, 2016

    I really hate that you lied to me.

    Lying to me is worse then sleeping my best friend. You lied then it was constant up and down. "I want you in my life." "Never mind I regret everything with you." Then you turn around and tell me what you did with that girl. And expect me to be numb and not care. I'm not you. I...
    KiraRawr KiraRawr
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jun 11, 2015
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 14, 2016

    I broke down in a target fitting room today

    looking at the bruises she left on me and because the 00 slim pants didn't fit me because I was to small. I've lost ten pounds in one week. I cut because I don't eat and I don't eat because I cut. It's an endless cycle of pain.
    thefallenones thefallenones
    16-17, F
    2 Responses Sep 29, 2014

    Dieing Inside

    I try really hard to push the thoughts out of my mind but it just doesn't work sometimes. I know it's silly to be so protective over things that don't matter. So what if he has friends that are girls. That shouldn't matter. I guess it's the things he says that make me so...
    ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola ImEndangeredGimmeYourCola
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 20, 2011
    deleted deleted
    Nov 9, 2014

    I kissed my husband's best friend yesterday.

    It was wrong to kiss him, wrong to like it, and now he blew me off. I love my husband and feel terrible in every way. I am spending my day today pretending I don't care but it is killing me.
    Sellerbee616 Sellerbee616
    36-40, F
    Jul 1, 2015

    I told him I don't like

    that he watched **** and he did it again! **** that he watches makes me want to die and he does it anyway
    StrongPowerful StrongPowerful
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jul 7, 2015

    u cnt pretend .. even

    if u pretend the guy who truely lvz u will see it in ur eyes itz very hard to pretnd n hide the pain off broken heart .... that guy will hurt ..will fyt wid u...but all this is part of true relation no relation is perfect ...fytz r also imo to increase lv.........we get nthing...
    heartbroken223 heartbroken223
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Nov 9, 2014

    I'm so pathetic. I do similar things to what

    they do but when they do them it upsets me. I do them things too and I shouldn't get upset by what they're doing if I'm doing it too!
    xcheyennexsmithx xcheyennexsmithx
    18-21, F
    1 Response Apr 4, 2016

    Leaving my mother for your mistress still

    bothers me to this day. I'm now an adult and I'm still repulsed that my father did this to my mother many years ago. I remember how much pain she was in. I remember seeing her crying on the kitchen floor. I was 7. My dad was the main bread winner and my mom worked, but didn't...
    Kira05 Kira05
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jun 11, 2015

    tomorrow is the day the girl

    who I loved for more than 6 years is leaving my town for her college and I'm just trying to help her getting her fear out and talking to her normally but deep down I just wanna see her 1 last time and I wanna call her and just hear her beautiful voice. I know that I'm pretending...
    milind3012 milind3012
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jun 30, 2015

    There's this library near my house,

    and I don't like going there because oftentimes, there are people that I used to hang out with. They're ********, but they were well liked, and back then, I used to care more about getting attention than about people's assholeyness, so if I was ever bothered by something they...
    deleted deleted
    Jun 29, 2015

    Like when the guy you like hasn't texted

    or call you in d.a.y.s but your waiting for him to text first. But it's all good 😌✊
    asp1999 asp1999
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 2, 2015

    Since i was 12 until now,

    i felt the same thing. People kept saying I'm annoying, stupid, dumb but I tried to pretend that wasn't true but in the inside it's tearing me apart. The truth is, this is what I am. I tried to change but I'm having a hard time to do those things. Even boys hates me because of...
    dcrest dcrest
    16-17, F
    Mar 19, 2016

    I pretend that I don't care

    when guys tell me I'm *** is flat. Deep down it hurts It make me want to grab their head and make him kiss my ***
    lorrena19 lorrena19
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 9, 2014

    on the outside, I'm the typical chill girl

    that anything that happens I'm like "don't worry about that" or "It's fine, could had been worse", but on the inside, I'm very sensitive, on the inside I cry day and night, I tear myself apart with or without reasons, I can't stand being myself. I try hard, to change, to be...
    latesay latesay
    16-17, F
    1 Response Mar 19, 2016

    yeah it is killing me.

    the pain is so much that I wish to die I miss him so bad.....
    Boombutterflyeffect Boombutterflyeffect
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 19, 2016

    I've always wanted for someone to take care of

    me when I'm sad or hurting or in need of comfort, but I find that people tend to ignore my sufferings yet I will do everything to make sure everyone is okay at the end of the day. I just spent about 45 minutes making sure my boyfriend talked about his problems to me & I just...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Sep 30, 2015

    I have pretended I don't care

    so often. I even tell people that I don't care. But in reality it hurts and bothers me inside. I try to do what I can later when I'm by myself
    walker1700 walker1700
    51-55, M
    Nov 19, 2015

    I've always always always encouraged myself to

    let my feelings out. how I'm feeling, if I like someone or etc. because why hold it in? you're not loosing anything if you let it out or not. I always see it as they're not with me now so if I tell them it's not gonna change a dam thing. so WHY wouldn't I tell him/her. I think I...
    fantasticlouiee fantasticlouiee
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Jul 1, 2015

    I hate feeling alone in my own home.

    ...wish I could sleep...
    mistypop182 mistypop182
    26-30, F
    Aug 25, 2014

    I bet like when we walked to school

    as kids we could only hold hand while we were in the field walking when we got near the school we could not hold hands as few would have understood two boys holding hands back in 1960 I was not worried about my self as I knew I could take them my friend was just learning to...
    rickibrat2 rickibrat2
    61-65, M
    Jun 12, 2015

    I feel so spent sometimes.

    I'm 47 and my mother's smothering has completely left me beyond depressed. I regret moving her into my home. I was optimistic at the time that it would be temporary, but unfortunately and I should have known she would invade and manipulate justifying why she would never move...
    tvd tvd
    41-45, F
    1 Response Mar 20, 2016

    So much.. People always tells me

    that nothing hurts me cause I'm heartless, that I don't care about anything. If only the knew..
    everybodywantshappiness everybodywantshappiness
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 8, 2014
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