I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,699 People

    Depression ******* sucks.

    I'm not really sure what started it and it's hard to fix something that's broken if you can't figure out what broke it in the first place.
    anavioletta anavioletta
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jun 8, 2015

    It's easier for me to pretend to be okay.

    Then it is to find someone who will listen and understand why I'm not okay. Something's are just too hard to say out loud to people
    Brok3nSoul Brok3nSoul
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 31, 2014

    I go about smiling at every stranger

    that passes by and looking like I am happy; yet inside I am fighting my own war. Sometimes, more than often, I am my own enemy.
    crystalrosie crystalrosie
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 10, 2015

    I have to pretend i'm okay.

    No one wants to listen to whats on my mind or how my day really was. No one wants the full story. I just have to keep pushing myself through these lonely days and hope everything will get better. I don't give up and I can keep fighting. But i'm weak all by myself. My thoughts...
    Raptax231 Raptax231
    22-25, M
    May 1, 2015

    I pretend that I'm ok

    when I'm in front of people but when I'm alone I break down
    anestacia anestacia
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 2, 2015

    I pretend that I'm okay

    when around people but when I'm in my room alone which is a lot I don't have to pretend having it all bottled up is making it worse.
    anestacia anestacia
    18-21, F
    Dec 22, 2015

    Can anyone help me ..

    . Me and my boyfriend have been togother for two and abit years so for the past 3days he been asking me do u want to suck my willy and I keep not doing nothing then yesterday he asked me again I said God and he said am I not allowed ask u or something and I Said Ye so I felt abit...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    Dec 1, 2015

    I need some help me and g boyfriend went out

    last night with our friends another couple we no and my boyfriend got drunk he did not do anything I asked him he don't look at anyone eale and he said no why would I when I have a diamond..... But when we was going home we all have each other hugs and his mate gave me a hug a...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    Apr 11, 2016

    I think today is the first day in a while

    that I haven't pretended that I'm okay. I actually feel pretty good today. And when suffering from severe depression it actually feels good to have a real smile on my face for once instead of a fake one.
    emotionsrunwild emotionsrunwild
    22-25, F
    3 Responses May 13, 2014
    deleted deleted
    13 Responses Dec 3, 2014

    i'm always pretending

    that im okay in front of many people because it feels like nobody cares for me. it's like even if i told them that i have some problem they will just ignore me.
    jeonnade jeonnade
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 26, 2016

    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit
    31-35, F
    2 Responses Dec 4, 2012

    I'm past the point of being okay with

    pretending. I want to finally be able to say that I'm okay & mean it. I don't want to think about cutting anymore; nor do I want to have these stupid flashbacks. Please just let me be okay soon, because I really can't take fighting my tears all day & crying hysterically at...
    untamedx3heart untamedx3heart
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Apr 25, 2015
    anestacia anestacia
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 26, 2016

    I'm living with 2 friends( they are cousins).

    I feel suffocated sometime with them because I feel like I'm being judge and sometime I feel guilty when I don't help them cook since we eat today.
    JulieK8 JulieK8
    18-21, F
    Apr 2, 2016

    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal
    31-35, F
    24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

    I pretend far too much,

    it has become a routine. Whenever I smile, it is genuine; I am far too tired to fake a smile. But I cannot express myself to the people around me without turning into an emotional wreck... Perhaps it is my shyness, or lonesomeness, but I cannot bare the thought of letting...
    tiffanyandasaltshaker tiffanyandasaltshaker
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Oct 2, 2015

    I must be the ugliest person alive.

    I swear... I think that's why I can never get a friend. Because they're all so judgmental that friendship has to matter based on looks... Wow....
    loveyanoone loveyanoone
    18-21, F
    7 Responses May 18, 2015

    You see that girl? she looks

    so happy right? telling jokes, smiling, having a great time... and dying inside. she's hurt and tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keep it all inside. Acts like...
    DeathThrone DeathThrone
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 23, 2015

    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond
    18-21, F
    1 Response Dec 10, 2013

    Some people have said words to me

    that cut like knives, yet I still stood there with a smile on my face. I smile because I just can't believe someone actually managed to say something to hurt me so badly. It's rare and shocking when this happens, they should give themselves a pat on the back for being able to...
    RoastedCycki RoastedCycki
    70+, F
    Mar 24, 2016

    Can anyone help me when me

    and my boyfriend was seeing each other nearly 3 years ago I was going on about girls he spoke to and slept with me told me who and I said have u still hot them on Facebook and he said ye he deleted them and then when the next day I said have u been deleting things and he said...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    Mar 24, 2016
    DeathThrone DeathThrone
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Apr 12, 2016

    Can anyone help me last night me

    and my boyfriend was having sex and he went do u want to watch **** or make one and I said u want to watch **** and he went no am asking u what one u want and he keep saying u want to make one and j said no watch one but I don't no why I said it coz I hate **** so he got one and...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    1 Response Dec 2, 2015

    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    lifenotknife lifenotknife
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 13, 2007

    Broken crayons still color.

    Shattered mirrors still reflect light. Being broken does not mean that we are useless. Being shattered does not mean that we must be thrown out. Break a crayon and it becomes perfect for sharing with another person. Shatter a mirror and it becomes a mosaic of little reflections...
    NewRomantics NewRomantics
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jan 3, 2016

    Truth is, I was only ever ok in the first

    place because you, you me make well, you me make me whole. Without you, I am hollow. I need you.😩
    DarkRavingAngel DarkRavingAngel
    Feb 13, 2016

    I pretend to be okay

    for others but let it all out when im alone at night in my room
    mxnzyy mxnzyy
    22-25, F
    Apr 18, 2016

    I'm so close to losing my ****

    and doing something stupid whether it be start cutting again or trying to kill myself again. Not sure which one not sure when but if things don't change soon. Ones bound to happen. And no one seems to notice, or care.
    battlewounds battlewounds
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Feb 20, 2016

    I'm never really ok. I have days

    where I cover it up better and seem more "functional" and "pleasant", but there is always that deep and swift moving current inside me. One of sadness and bitterness, petty jealousies and simmering anger. Even those closest to me barely see what is really simmering underneath my...
    Tuva Tuva
    31-35, M
    Jun 3, 2015

    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    deleted deleted
    7 Responses Jun 15, 2012

    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted
    6 Responses Mar 1, 2013

    All I can really do is smile.

    Even when I'm at my lowest point I smile. Sometimes it hurts so much I just can't bare living. It hurts knowing I put my all into someone and gave them my heart and all they did was break it. So yeah I do pretend I'm ok, but now its getting harder and harder to do so everyday.
    Bailey242 Bailey242
    Dec 21, 2015

    I always smile and say I'm great,

    but it's such a lie. I'm really wondering when I will finally finish myself off.
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Dec 7, 2015

    Pretend. I pretend to laugh.

    I pretend to smile. I pretend that I'm okay,When I'm really not. You would think that your own family would realize how miserable you are; but they don't. Or it could be that I'm really good at pretending. I pretend so much, it's become a second nature. One day, I wish to let...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jun 30, 2015

    It's Easy to say I'm okay

    when I'm not. Perhaps it's even easier to fake a smile, but at the end of the day the mask comes off. There is no point in pretending, when the only one there is me.
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 28, 2016

    I really need some help my boyfriend went to

    his football match final game yesterday he had been drinking and he come home about 7 he asked me to pick him up as he had a really bad headache he was Not drunk or anything just not well so he Went to bed when he come home we woke up this morning and I was just asking qestuon...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    Apr 17, 2016

    I don't know how to stop pretending.

    I'm so good at it, it's like I don't even know what's real sometimes? Then all of a sudden, reality hits me and I completely fall apart. Everyone thinks I'm so together. No one knows what it's like inside my head.
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Feb 13, 2016

    It's only been 2 weeks at school

    and I started losing it today. Don't get me wrong I like school in fact.....I Love school always have and always will. Its just home,staying in the car with my mum for 5 minutes,talking to her at dinner,her saying she loves me.****. I hate it all.I can't stand being around her...
    Darkprincess24 Darkprincess24
    16-17, F
    Feb 5, 2016
    glassbonespaperskin glassbonespaperskin
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Aug 10, 2015

    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori
    18-21, M
    2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii
    18-21, F
    4 Responses Feb 28, 2014

    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Mar 24, 2014

    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Apr 19, 2014

    I wonder what you think

    when you see me on here and don't message me. I'm sure you have found someone younger, thinner, prettier. Just like my ex husband did.
    deleted deleted
    8 Responses Jun 10, 2015

    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

    When I first got with my bf u said do u think

    other people are good looking and he said no then I keep going on n on n on and he went Ye he said he only said that coz I keep going on and he's head was messed from me going on because his first answer was no we been 2geva 2 and half years now and he always said when am in a...
    kayloulou kayloulou
    22-25, F
    Nov 29, 2015

    So.. I always try to pretebd everything is good

    my life is good when someone asks... But when it comes to really good days like I'm getting something really good that will make me happy.. At the same day everything ends worse than I imagined or thought.. So it leaves me soo depressed and its really hard to pretend that.. So I...
    Rokas2260 Rokas2260
    16-17, M
    Feb 12, 2016

    Sometimes I start to tear up out of the blue in

    public. Tears start to flow out of my eyes, I start to shake, I start to sniffle. In my mind I scream to myself, "No, no, no, what are you doing?! Get a grip of yourself! People are staring! Stooooop!" I fake a yawn or a sneeze. I take out a piece of tissue, blow my nose...
    Letmebee Letmebee
    26-30, F
    Mar 26, 2016

    oh gosh I hate myself.

    ...and I know everyone else does too....I honestly don't know why I even try anymore
    huntersveil248 huntersveil248
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 20, 2016

    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014
    22-25, F
    8 Responses Jan 16, 2014

    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris
    26-30, F
    2 Responses Aug 5, 2007
    deleted deleted
    Dec 17, 2015

    How do you find a romantic partner?

    The day is spend mostly on the job and when u found someone you like, you take time to put a lot of work into it but the other person did not do the same. The most difficult thing is understanding what someone thinks and feels. And the change of mind. I wish love is not this...
    JulieK8 JulieK8
    18-21, F
    Apr 15, 2016

    Because I believe that

    if I keep on pretending long enough, I might forget the fact that I'm even pretending and just be okay someday :)
    Letmebee Letmebee
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Apr 18, 2016
    Soooos Soooos
    26-30, F
    Dec 22, 2015

    You only want to get rid of me.

    Congratulations. You win.
    Dummy420 Dummy420
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Jan 1, 2016

    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica
    22-25, F
    20 Responses Jun 13, 2009
More Stories