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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,559 People

    I'm Sorry

    Maybe I should write this as a confession instead of a story.   I'll probably end up deleting it anyway ... the truth hurts ... lol.   I've battled depression for most of my life.  The last 10 years at least, I've won that battle more often than not. I...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2010

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    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    I think today is the first day in a while

    that I haven't pretended that I'm okay. I actually feel pretty good today. And when suffering from severe depression it actually feels good to have a real smile on my face for once instead of a fake one.
    emotionsrunwild emotionsrunwild 18-21, F 4 Responses May 13, 2014

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    I pretend I'm okay, sometimes.

    I just don't show it but whenever I'm alone, I cry. I cry because of what I feel towards someone and whenever I think of something. I know, it's natural and it also happens to everyone.
    AnnPe AnnPe 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 4

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    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 21

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    I pretend everything is okay

    so nobody worries about me. I let my sadness hide in the back of my heart hoping that it will just go away and wondering how to fix it if it doesn't. I don't know what is the truth anymore.
    cutsy cutsy 36-40, F 2 Responses May 2, 2014

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    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F Mar 11

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    i hate pretending i give a **** about living

    each and everyday. I'm so heartbroken, stressed, confused, anxious about life that i feel myself falling apart. I know where i want to be in life, but my anxitey keeps me behind. I just want to wake up and feel happy again. I miss feeling really okay and this fake persona i pu...
    Tristechica22 Tristechica22 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I feel like I can't talk to my boyfriend,

    because he is really unaffectionate toward me. We fought 2-3 days ago, and since then he has not done anything to reconcile the situation. He had a couple of drinks last night and was his affectionate self, and this morning he's back to his cold exterior. Whenever I try to say...
    pensivepaws pensivepaws 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 18

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    I know things are not okay,

    i know my life is as messed up and as empty as it can be but i still put a smile in my face to not look weak around them. But i am weak:(
    Boraboo Boraboo 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    ^Life for me is something else ,

    i have become a person i didnt expect to be :/ i look in the mirror & i see alot of changes in me ,the loving & understanding person i use to be but in reality iam MEAN :( & i hate myself for that :/ i have lost my one so called true friends , the family i share my comfort...
    H143 H143 18-21, F Feb 5

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    So, earlier, my friend decided to switch the

    lids on two of her pens, which she knows really irritates me. Then she said "don't worry though, I never put them in my pocket like this" My thoughts triggered. I thought about it as a metaphor. It's like the pens are people. When they are out, with others, in the open (pens...
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I can't pretend any more.

    Today I will be checking in to a hospital. im afraid it will turn out to be more of the same medicate and forget philosophy.
    SShawnO SShawnO 41-45, M 2 Responses Mar 10

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    I went to therapy a few days ago

    and she said that you can't hold in your feelings because one day they will come up again. You have to deal with them. I hate going to therapy because after I get so emotional. Like I've been crying all day. But I realize that I need therapy. But the problem is I feel like I can...
    Robin1226 Robin1226 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 14

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    I walk around school,

    smiling and joking around, When all I want to do is be left alone and cry and vent. I get home tell my mum all of the 'great' things I did that day, then go to my room and just sit there trying not to think until mum makes me come out. At the moment I don't get the point of any...
    kaiana2000 kaiana2000 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    I'm haunted by the past,

    dissapointed with the present, and afraid of the future. Day in, and day out, I have vivid flashbacks of my youth, of the fun I had, memories I relish, fears I faced, and joy that every new day brought me, but now it's all slipped away. I always used to imagine fatherhood, love...
    Eclipse993 Eclipse993 18-21, M 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 2, 2013

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    All my life, I've always forced myself to put

    on a smile so that everyone knew I was this "sweet" person. No one (not even my parents) knew what I was dealing with inside. They still don't. Inside, I'm really confused to the point that I don't even know myself. I don't know what I like, what's my favorite color, or what I...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, F Feb 10

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    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 20 Responses Jun 13, 2009

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    I Like to Keep Things Pretty...

    It gets a little messy if I decide to say "I'm not okay, what do you think? I'm so ******* fed up with everything. I don't want to go home today. I feel invisible, but I didn't want to burst your bubble today, b/c you're so happy today." Can you imagine the awkward...
    BowsAndBones BowsAndBones 16-17, F 8 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    lifenotknife lifenotknife 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2007

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    piercethevicx piercethevicx 16-17, F 22 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    I've learnt though that it's not the best thing

    to do. Not only is it exhausting but it can also hurt the people around you. About a month ago something happened that has just left me feeling shattered. I like to keep certain thing private and honestly just didn't want to talk about. So I've been trying very hard to put on a...
    Viviq66 Viviq66 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    HidingTheScars HidingTheScars 13-15, F 3 Responses May 2, 2014

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    The last couple days I've noticed something was

    wrong. I can't put my tongue on it. My boyfriend even noticed it today. I'm getting really pissy all the time and just not myself. I have to go throughout the day just so my friends and family don't think there is something wrong with me. Hopefully this passes. I don't know what...
    CheerleaderEm CheerleaderEm 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 21

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    "Are you okay?" No. The last time I am really

    okay was before I met you. Before I became so needy about you. Before I became too worried about you. I could be okay without you, I just chose not to. Because I know that deep down, I still need the not-okay me being beside you.
    rockettothemoon08 rockettothemoon08 18-21, F Feb 9

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    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 8 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    Excuses. They consumed my life.

    Bruises on cheek? I was hit by a football. Cuts on my arm? The glass cracked and managed to slice a perfect line. A limp when I walked? Someone knocked me over. Sprained wrist? Injury from PE. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Sometimes I tell to people .

    .........I'm fine everything's okay For the purpose of avoiding the question (why)
    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    Everyday i go to work

    and pretend to be okay. i keep a smile plastered on my face and i pretend to be happy. i know that in order to be professional..this is what i have to do. i have to check my problems at the door. i cant stand people that have problems and they come into the office and take it...
    welcome2myworld welcome2myworld 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    I thought I was okay.

    But then a friend sincerely asked me "are you okay?". Then it hit me. I nodded and hold it in till I reach home. I locked myself in my room and just cried like nothing matters. She's probably the first to ask me that and she sounded like she really cared. She made me realize...
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 6

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    some critical of me going crazy .

    ... I accepted it :)
    gigus gigus 22-25, M Mar 13

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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    Because I have to.. I pretend Im okay

    because there is no other choice for me right now.. I pretend Im okay because its easier for me to smile and be with the people.. I pretend Im okay because I dont want to constantly feel the pain.. And most importantly, I pretend Im okay because this is only a part of the entire...
    theoabern0741 theoabern0741 26-30 2 Responses 19 hrs ago

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    SilentScream0327 SilentScream0327 18-21, F Mar 16

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    Mylo248 Mylo248 16-17, F Mar 3

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    shethia shethia 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23