Post

I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 15,788 People

    This week has been unbelievably bad.

    Schools ****, family's ****, everything's ****. I miss you so bad you know? I was so close. So close to swallowing the whole bottle, but somehow I couldn't. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I saw someone that looked exactly like you the other day, I know you're not here...
    prettybr0wneyes prettybr0wneyes 13-15, F 2 Responses Mar 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    -This life I live isn't

    as peaceful and calm as it is. This world I'm in is filled with hate and chaos. This roof I live under has it's yells and it tears. The school I attend has some drugs and alcohol. The bus that I ride has some profanity and cursing. But what I feel is what gets me the most. There...
    BabyDgay BabyDgay 16-17, F Apr 5

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And I'm good at it. I'm also good at making

    people smile and laugh. Wish I could learn how to cheer myself up for once.
    tryingtobeashappyasiappear tryingtobeashappyasiappear 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's the hardest thing to tell someone the

    truth. How much I'm hurting on the inside...so I pretend. It's easier to say that I'm okay than to let anyone see the tears in my smile.
    ImxoxSurviving ImxoxSurviving 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No Self-worth & Feeling Unwanted

    I wouldn't call this a story or anything of that nature, if that makes any secne to anyone. But I can be honest that I've alway felt that people never actually saw me when they looked at me. I've alway felt that I could never win when it came to having a good friendships and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 22, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Slowly I am losing everyone I care about.

    I am in a dark place and feel really alone for the first time in my life. I have been a widow for two years and I think things are getting worse. I have no one I am comfortable talking to about it. I guess death cooties are real and I just want my best friend back. He knew me...
    MsRack MsRack 36-40 5 Responses Feb 7

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I know that sounds a bit shady

    but I guess what I mean is that when I'm out and about I don't put on a frown for people to have to ask me what's wrong cause I'm not that type of person to be asking that cause I don't want to have to bother anyone with my concerns! I don't mind In a private setting but when I...
    onlytrusthim onlytrusthim 36-40, M 2 Responses a week ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    We try hard to be someone's "number one",

    the best and all they are looking for. We fake smiles to hide the pain inside. We force a laugh to hide the pain inside and to please others. "We dance and play the part if that's what you ask, give you all i am". We become someone we are not just to please someone because that...
    NumbHearts NumbHearts 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 2

    Your Response

    Cancel

    But I am so not.... I am living with someone

    who has some type of undiagnosed personality disorder. He is mentally and emotionally abusive to almost everyone he comes in contact with. I get the majority of his verbal lashings. I cannot get him to see that he is alienating everyone he knows. I am so lost, I need to get...
    Dimples99 Dimples99 31-35, F Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    This smile you see, is not what it seems to be.

    This smile I fake, hides my body which aches. I am happy. My heart is scrambled, my mind is rambled. But my smile is strong, you can see nothing's wrong. And, still, I am happy. Strangers pass by, and my eyes tell this lie. Friends don't hear me sigh, my mother won't...
    Canonomousjay Canonomousjay 18-21, M 3 Responses 6 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel
    heyitsabike heyitsabike 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 5 Responses Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everyday I sadly wake up,

    knowing that another day has to be lived. I go to school and put a fake smile on my face. Everyday I wear a sweater, no matter how hot it is to make sure no one sees my cuts or scars. When somone does see them, I laugh and blame it on the cat. Everyday I laugh alot and everyone...
    musicismysalvation musicismysalvation 16-17, F 9 Responses Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Its been a while guys,

    probably a few months since I've been on here and a lot has happened. I had a relationship with someone which was one of the best I've ever had, maybe the only real relationship, now that I think about it. It was short lived though, we got to know each other over the course of...
    musicmanrob musicmanrob 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 9

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I would like to say that I'm one of those people

    who "sees the world for what it really is." I say this because I seem to be one of the only few people picking up on the faults of life which connect to even bigger faults. People just walk around like everything around them is perfect when in fact it's not. It's saddening...
    KeithPrice94 KeithPrice94 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 21

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 20 Responses Jun 13, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Really

    really, not okay. :(no I don't want to make my story longer thanks for asking. ******* EP **** thing
    TheLuckyHobo TheLuckyHobo 31-35, M 5 Responses Oct 14, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    loobiesa loobiesa 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Y do I hide still ?? .

    .. I dnt understand ..
    chrisisawsome chrisisawsome 16-17, M Mar 30

    Your Response

    Cancel

    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 4 Responses Mar 24

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Dying With A Smile!

    I'm a very responsible, mother type. Always have been, always will be. But I'm getting to my breaking point. I am in a totally unhappy, unhealthy marriage, caring for my mother, and being a mother to two adorable children who were abandoned by their mother who couldnt deal with...
    charliegee83 charliegee83 31-35, F 6 Responses Aug 9, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Why Can't I Just Be Happy?

     I'm tired of trying to hide it, I'm tired of trying to find peace in my heart when there's no sign of it coming and I'm tired of not being able to talk to anyone about it out of fear of sounding dumb. But I can't fight it, it hurts too much. Why can't I just be happy with...
    IWishIUnderstood IWishIUnderstood 22-25, M 12 Responses Sep 16, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    He lies about working

    after 12 years he still lies. It hurts but I try not to show him
    03done 03done 31-35, F Apr 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I feel like I shouldn't

    even be here, I wanna go and never come back.
    ellavalencia ellavalencia 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 28

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori 16-17, M 3 Responses Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I've chased a million things Bright lights

    and empty dreams Now here I am Right where I thought I wanted to be I'll trade it all right now Leave it all and lay it down To get back to where i belong Lord, all I've ever needed was your love
    kristinaloo kristinaloo 18-21, F Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    None of my friends care about my life,

    they hardly know anything about me, I'm moody or grumpy a lot because I haven't got any gay friends and it's not fair because I have no one to talk to, most people I know are homophobic and all....
    Dario912 Dario912 13-15, M 3 Responses Mar 17

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's easier then telling people "no,

    I'm just tired" all day
    CaptainBenza CaptainBenza 18-21, M 5 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    seconds pass as I watch you drift

    away wondering what every second will bring us to happiness or sorrow is it really worth the emotions is it really worth going threw it all as I watch you drink away your pain drowning yourself hoping for a better life with the only hope of our love but not knowing...
    Kiyokooo Kiyokooo 18-21, F 1 hr ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Like to Keep Things Pretty...

    It gets a little messy if I decide to say "I'm not okay, what do you think? I'm so ******* fed up with everything. I don't want to go home today. I feel invisible, but I didn't want to burst your bubble today, b/c you're so happy today." Can you imagine the awkward...
    BowsAndBones BowsAndBones 16-18, F 8 Responses Aug 5, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Everyday I paint this fake smile on my face to

    mask the pain. I used to be so happy and carefree now I live everyday with fibromyalgia pain and depression and I can barely get myself out of bed in the morning. This past week my pain has been so bad I cry myself to sleep. I feel so helpless and I just want to feel better.
    Blueskydreams Blueskydreams 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I feel like I'm full of it ,

    I want so much for my life but I don't know what I want the scariest questions that I seem to get ask a lot right now is "what do you want to be when you grow up?"I say I want to be a pilot because I want to be way up high to not be questioned but in reality I don't know if I...
    lebarana lebarana 16-17, F Mar 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    On the outside I look all happy

    and on the inside I'm crying/hurting!
    abbyboo1234 abbyboo1234 16-17, F 4 Responses Feb 15

    Your Response

    Cancel

    When I go to church, everyone seems to put

    their mask on. How are you? The answer is always fine. After awhile, I start to copy them, and everything is fine in my life too. Everything is not fine, but when I go to recovery groups, both secular and Christian, I feel like I can be real. Around my friends I can drop the...
    jesusfreak247 jesusfreak247 56-60 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I Think I'm Ok?

    To tell the truth I don't really know anymore. I'm not sure if I'm just really good at suppressing things right now or if I'm completely numb. I go through my motions and I have a lot of "nothing days." "Nothing Days" are exactly how they sound. You really don't do much and there...
    andeesha andeesha 22-25, F Oct 31, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 2, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Ever since this girl first walked into our

    school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my mind I was thinking "you know what, I'm gonna try to talk to her, I need to man up, I need to know how to talk to a girl and here's my first...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I walk down the hallways

    and see the only guy I've truly loved with her. And it hurts. To the point where I want to go and throw up. I put on a smile, to make him think he doesn't matter as much to me as he really does. He said I was too attached to him. I tell my friends I'm really over him. But I go...
    missmgr missmgr 13-15, F 5 Responses Jan 3

    Your Response

    Cancel

    My Mask

    I pretend I'm ok by wearing 'my mask'. People around me have no idea how badly I am hurting inside, how broken my heart is and how much I wish I was dead. Sometimes little things set off great emotions in me, and I have to try my best to hold back the tears. I need time...
    Mediocre Mediocre 22-25, F 9 Responses Oct 24, 2009

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Sometimes I try my best to be happy

    as I can when I'm at school I can sometimes feel like my life is about to end but sometimes every ounce a week or somehow everyday I can be happy other times I can be sad or even just try not to tell anyone how I feel but when I'm at home I can actually express my feelings and...
    vivienhuang13 vivienhuang13 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 4

    Your Response

    Cancel

    After 9 months, my ex finally have a new

    girlfriend. I am just curious why that month before he even contacted me and asking my number again. I thought we can fix things up until i just discover today that he have a new girlfriend now. That girl she is the one I am jealous before but my ex said i am prettier than her...
    meca08 meca08 22-25, F Mar 31

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    Bellastasia Bellastasia 26-30, F 1 Response 4 days ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I don't think that anyone should be burdened

    with my problems. I'm much more interested in the problems of others and helping them. When a few girls have broken my heart in the past and they've all felt bad in doing so. I usually tell them that I only want them to be happy, which is 100% accurate; I just wish they could...
    JustAnotherHuman34 JustAnotherHuman34 18-21, M 1 Response Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I'm Sorry

    Maybe I should write this as a confession instead of a story.   I'll probably end up deleting it anyway ... the truth hurts ... lol.   I've battled depression for most of my life.  The last 10 years at least, I've won that battle more often than not. I...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2010

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You know what bugs the crap out of me.

    ... People thinking I'm a lazy person, a person that doesn't give a crap about anyone but themselves! Im far from lazy and i care about everyone else apart from myself (world would be better off if i wasn't in it). It makes it worse when you don't know and don't know my past...
    Kelloggz90 Kelloggz90 22-25, F 4 Responses Mar 26

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Mom: Are you okay? Me: Yes.

    *lying through my teeth* Mom: What's wrong, is everything alright? Me: Yes, I'm fine mom. *when I'm actually far from it* Mom: Are you sure? You've been acting strange lately? Me: Really? How so? *oh crap, she knows* Mom: Well, you seem depressed. Are you? Me: No, of course not...
    FrappAttack FrappAttack 13-15 2 Responses 1 day ago

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Can't the world reset

    where cost of living wasnt so expensive? Salaries do not match the onflation of living and it takes a toll on education of children and mental and physical health of parents, which on turn spreads to the whole family.
    rayshim rayshim 26-30, F Mar 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I pretend that i have alot of friend

    and i'm okay but the truth is i dont have any real close friend that i trust 😕
    YElRashidy YElRashidy 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 6

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 10 Responses Jan 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I pretend I'm okay because it's way easier

    explaining what's wrong when all people ever say is "I'm sorry to hear that". Waste of time.
    livefuckingstrong livefuckingstrong 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A note to my ex: I miss you,

    Te extraño... You've been my first love since i was 12 and the past 14 year of on and off contact have been detrimental to my heart. Every time we break contact i am left with a bunch of pieces that belong somewhere in my heart, I'm afraid I'm going to hurt my husband, please...
    MunecaTrizte MunecaTrizte 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    But really I'm dying from the inside out.

    I pretend I'm okay so I don't get my feelings hurt. I see happy faces and it kills me because I know I'll never truly be happy with myself or the life I live. I also pretend to be okay because I don't want to be a burden to anyone. I don't know what's more sad the fact that I...
    goldengirl24 goldengirl24 22-25, F 4 Responses Apr 10

    Your Response

    Cancel