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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,732 People

    Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts

    and i haven't been able to stop thinking about them, so I started to wright "kill me now" in my note book on each page, and somehow one of my friends or someone got into that note book and wrote "I love you. Please dont go" once i read that i just started crying... I didn't...
    EyelessGlitch EyelessGlitch 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 9

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    If I don't, people will call me attention

    seeker, 'cause that's how today's world works.
    thedimone thedimone 13-15, F 1 Response May 24

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    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    I have to pretend i'm okay.

    No one wants to listen to whats on my mind or how my day really was. No one wants the full story. I just have to keep pushing myself through these lonely days and hope everything will get better. I don't give up and I can keep fighting. But i'm weak all by myself. My thoughts...
    Raptax231 Raptax231 18-21, M May 1

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    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    I wonder what you think

    when you see me on here and don't message me. I'm sure you have found someone younger, thinner, prettier. Just like my ex husband did.
    upextraolives upextraolives 46-50, F 12 Responses Jun 10

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    At school I act happy

    and act like I'm okay.... Then I break down at home.
    depressedandhurt101 depressedandhurt101 13-15, F 4 Responses May 1, 2014

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    acoustic212 acoustic212 16-17, M May 10

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    Depression ******* sucks.

    I'm not really sure what started it and it's hard to fix something that's broken if you can't figure out what broke it in the first place.
    anavioletta anavioletta 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 7 Responses May 31

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    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 20 Responses Jun 13, 2009

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    experience is nothing

    but i m board with gay life. in india no future and no personal life for a gay man. someone is here to be my friend who love a gay man
    pankajpandit pankajpandit 31-35, M May 14

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    Nevermind, I'm okay..

    . *lies lies lies*
    Undecodable Undecodable 18-21, F 1 Response May 20

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    I just plaster a smile on my face

    and say everything is okay when its really not. sometimes i want to burn in a pit and never be seen again. Someone just delve their hand in my chest and rip my heart out... i deserve it...
    Beaniesandbands1 Beaniesandbands1 13-15, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 4 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I guess many people do.

    Message me, I'd like someone to talk to.
    Bitxh0x Bitxh0x 13-15, F 2 Responses May 24

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    Ok do uses think this is a good idea me

    and my bf are thinking about buying houses then selling them so we can make money to buy are own house and not have a bigger mortage but he still wants to go on hoildays every year even when were saving does it sound like he's not being seroues about it all
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    I think today is the first day in a while

    that I haven't pretended that I'm okay. I actually feel pretty good today. And when suffering from severe depression it actually feels good to have a real smile on my face for once instead of a fake one.
    emotionsrunwild emotionsrunwild 18-21, F 4 Responses May 13, 2014

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    You see that girl? she looks

    so happy right? telling jokes, smiling, having a great time... and dying inside. she's hurt and tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keep it all inside. Acts like...
    DeathThrone DeathThrone 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    I walk around school,

    smiling and joking around, When all I want to do is be left alone and cry and vent. I get home tell my mum all of the 'great' things I did that day, then go to my room and just sit there trying not to think until mum makes me come out. At the moment I don't get the point of any...
    kaiana2000 kaiana2000 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    Most of the time I'm really not okay

    but I act like I am so people won't ask me what's wrong or to explain myself because I'm tired of feeling like I bother people with my problems..so the only answer is to say "I'm okay"
    emylauren27 emylauren27 18-21, F 1 Response May 17

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    I thought this one girl liked me

    so we were with a group of friends and this one girl with us kissed me and it caught me off guard so yeah then I thought she liked me so later I found out that she was talking to another guy so yeah and was also kissing him so yeah....she told me and everything but now I am just...
    MericaMan MericaMan 16-17, M 5 days ago

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    AlexzanderPrinc3 AlexzanderPrinc3 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 9

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    But really I'm not...

    There's been so many times I've pretended that I was perfectly fine but haven't been. Like on time after I got into a fight with my best friend of like seven years, I was so depressed. We ended things in such an ugly way that I could never forgive her. I spent so many days...
    SmileyFaceJenn SmileyFaceJenn 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 18

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    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    Today, I feel so sad.

    I need two things in my life which are playing hard to get: my certification, and a partner. I have tried and tried. Will still try and try. But today, I feel so sad. So sad.
    one2talk one2talk 31-35 Jun 2

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    It's the hardest thing to tell someone the

    truth. How much I'm hurting on the inside...so I pretend. It's easier to say that I'm okay than to let anyone see the tears in my smile.
    ImxoxSurviving ImxoxSurviving 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    i dont know for how long i will stay like

    that that hurs so much..:((((((..
    imanb99 imanb99 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 2

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    when I see him with another girl

    and my friends ask me are u ok sure I say but inside I just died a little
    anshaw anshaw 13-15, F May 9

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    I must be the ugliest person alive.

    I swear... I think that's why I can never get a friend. Because they're all so judgmental that friendship has to matter based on looks... Wow....
    loveyanoone loveyanoone 18-21, F 9 Responses May 18

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    It's nothing I'm fine It's just one of those

    days I'm just tired I'm good It's cool Everyday I fantasize about killing myself and being free
    CaptainBenza CaptainBenza 18-21, M 2 Responses May 20

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    Even when I am not because I feel

    as if I will be a bother to others if I am not "okay" When people say rude things to me I may not show it to any one but that makes me sad/angry. A friend gave me this photo and I think it represents myself and others who pretend to be okay even in the worst of situations.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 13

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 2, 2013

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    There are times that i just close my eyes

    and pretend that everything will gonna be alright..
    DeathThrone DeathThrone 22-25, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    I'm past the point of being okay with

    pretending. I want to finally be able to say that I'm okay & mean it. I don't want to think about cutting anymore; nor do I want to have these stupid flashbacks. Please just let me be okay soon, because I really can't take fighting my tears all day & crying hysterically at...
    untamedx3heart untamedx3heart 22-25, F 5 Responses Apr 25

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    I haven't read an article

    that summed up my pain and shame of loving someone like me before. "When You Love A Person Who Comes From A Broken Family" http://thoughtcatalog.com/koty-neelis/2015/05/when-you-love-a-person-who-comes-from-a-broken-family/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Jun 10

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    I pretend everything is okay

    so nobody worries about me. I let my sadness hide in the back of my heart hoping that it will just go away and wondering how to fix it if it doesn't. I don't know what is the truth anymore.
    denimblue denimblue 36-40, F 2 Responses May 2, 2014

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    Everyday i go to work

    and pretend to be okay. i keep a smile plastered on my face and i pretend to be happy. i know that in order to be professional..this is what i have to do. i have to check my problems at the door. i cant stand people that have problems and they come into the office and take it...
    welcome2myworld welcome2myworld 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses