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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,229 People

    I think today is the first day in a while

    that I haven't pretended that I'm okay. I actually feel pretty good today. And when suffering from severe depression it actually feels good to have a real smile on my face for once instead of a fake one.
    emotionsrunwild emotionsrunwild 18-21, F 4 Responses May 13

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    Most of the times I just pretend I'm fine.

    . But the truth is, I feel sooo lonely and there are times I want to just cry.. I feel so miserable and I'm not who I was anymore and I don't even know why. I spend my days just getting through most of them now. I feel like I don't have 'real friends' and I am not really 'living...
    kangaroo02 kangaroo02 16-17, F 3 Responses Oct 26

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    I pretend everything is okay

    so nobody worries about me. I let my sadness hide in the back of my heart hoping that it will just go away and wondering how to fix it if it doesn't. I don't know what is the truth anymore.
    cutsy cutsy 36-40, F 2 Responses May 2

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Apr 19

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    I pretend I'm okay because it's way easier

    explaining what's wrong when all people ever say is "I'm sorry to hear that". Waste of time.
    livefuckingstrong livefuckingstrong 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2013

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    HidingTheScars HidingTheScars 13-15, F 3 Responses May 2

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    It's the hardest thing to tell someone the

    truth. How much I'm hurting on the inside...so I pretend. It's easier to say that I'm okay than to let anyone see the tears in my smile.
    ImxoxSurviving ImxoxSurviving 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9

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    Everyday... Even after I came back from the

    hospital I don't like sharing anything with anyone. The only time I let out how I feel is when I'm alone and I feel the tears I've been holding in all day fall down my face. And I try to reassure myself that I'll get over everything in the past but I know I'm lying. Because...
    mangadrawer12321 mangadrawer12321 13-15, F 2 Responses Oct 26

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    I'm Sorry

    Maybe I should write this as a confession instead of a story.   I'll probably end up deleting it anyway ... the truth hurts ... lol.   I've battled depression for most of my life.  The last 10 years at least, I've won that battle more often than not. I...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2010

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    I Like to Keep Things Pretty...

    It gets a little messy if I decide to say "I'm not okay, what do you think? I'm so ******* fed up with everything. I don't want to go home today. I feel invisible, but I didn't want to burst your bubble today, b/c you're so happy today." Can you imagine the awkward...
    BowsAndBones BowsAndBones 16-18, F 8 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    i always tell my friends

    and family that im okay cause they cant really help me and i dont want my friends to worry about me but i want help and i need help :/
    thatdepressedgirl thatdepressedgirl 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 18

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    No Self-worth & Feeling Unwanted

    I wouldn't call this a story or anything of that nature, if that makes any secne to anyone. But I can be honest that I've alway felt that people never actually saw me when they looked at me. I've alway felt that I could never win when it came to having a good friendships and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Sick Of Pretending..

    Im sick and tired of pretending that telling you goodbye, for the second time!! Was the best thing for the both of us. But why than do i replay every little conversation we ever had, through text mostly, trying to find hidden meanings behind the words you said. Just thinking and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Jul 14, 2012

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    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    loobiesa loobiesa 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2007

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    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 4 Responses Feb 28

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 2, 2013

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    But the truth is that I'm really not okay

    because there is so much stuff going on right now.
    therealsydster therealsydster 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    you know your life sucks

    when a dream you had is the only thing that makes you happy after months of wallowing in sadness
    shazmn shazmn 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I often just pretend I'm ok,

    not very many people know what goes through my head and it's better that way. I have more friends on the internet than I do in real life, people I grew up with don't talk to me anymore, I just always tell people I'm fine when they ask whats wrong. Does this make me a bad person...
    Dickard101 Dickard101 22-25, M 2 Responses Oct 25

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    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 8 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 20 Responses Jun 13, 2009

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    Everyday i go to work

    and pretend to be okay. i keep a smile plastered on my face and i pretend to be happy. i know that in order to be professional..this is what i have to do. i have to check my problems at the door. i cant stand people that have problems and they come into the office and take it...
    welcome2myworld welcome2myworld 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 15

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    I Think I'm Ok?

    To tell the truth I don't really know anymore. I'm not sure if I'm just really good at suppressing things right now or if I'm completely numb. I go through my motions and I have a lot of "nothing days." "Nothing Days" are exactly how they sound. You really don't do much and there...
    andeesha andeesha 26-30, F Oct 31, 2013

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    No matter how bad things are around me.

    .. I always pretend like everything is fine. I think over time I've been made to believe the showing any kind of weakness is by far the worst thing you can do because most times people use it as a opportunity to use and abuse you in that moments or it makes people think you can...
    Forbiddenkisses Forbiddenkisses 22-25, F Nov 9

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    Scared to fall asleep not knowing

    if I'm gonna wake up the next day. No one i can turn too theres people but i always feel like i bother them when i bring it up and when i do most of my friends yell at me but i only have one in real life that gives me a hug and is there for me.
    Wolfee2012 Wolfee2012 13-15, F Nov 12

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    Tonight I said to my boyfriend how many times

    have u been out with work at Xmas time and he went a couple and I said I thought u never used to go out when u had your flat becouse he told me that he never used see is mates or go out when he had a flat with his ex gf becouse he had no money and he went mad sayin I went out...
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Pretend there is no silence,

    alone in your own world knowing she never cared Don't notice things that once were hers, Ignore the endless hours Don't chase the dream that your hearts were after Somehow believe in living, forget about the giving Just tell your life it must go on Run from yourself until you...
    Justadarkhole Justadarkhole 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 7

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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    If I love you I'll let you go If I love you

    I'll protect your from far And when Im alone in my room, its my turn to cry
    shazmn shazmn 16-17, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 16

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    I get on here and post things

    because I don't have anyone I can talk to...literally.
    Cristal0330 Cristal0330 22-25, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    Ages ago my boyfriend ex gf text him saying

    sonwyjing aboit there flat they had and in end it out of had hand and she text him saying I see the gym worked out of u and he said I did not do it for u and she said I did not say u did ... But why did he say that
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F Nov 13

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12

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    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24

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    Last night me and my boyfriend was goin watch a

    DVD and he made a joke saying watch one of my dad **** dvd come out of this DVD player u think he wud of been jokin coz I said why u say that and he said I was jokin
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    I have for a long time now,

    and recently I opened up here at EP, and now my life is falling apart... I'm tired of trying and faking, but I'm exhausted of remembering... Please just take everything away and let me start over... I wish that I could wake up with amnesia, and forget about all these stupid...
    Darkthoughtsallover Darkthoughtsallover 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 1

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    I pretend I'm okay, I pretend I'm not hurting

    or depressed because I don't want anyone to know. I thought he was different, I thought he was a nice guy, I thought he really liked me.. I guess I was wrong. I guess I wasn't worth spending time with after all being as he left me alone in a crowded club to go dance with a...
    misspaperwait misspaperwait 22-25, F 1 Response Nov 3

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    At school I act happy

    and act like I'm okay.... Then I break down at home.
    depressedandhurt101 depressedandhurt101 13-15, F 4 Responses May 1

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    So I'm pretty paranoid,

    if I'm walking about in the city I feel like everyone is looking at me, I look at someone walking past like a glimpse and then they just lock onto me until they walk past. I even check my clothes and face to see if I've got anything on me. I listen to music when I walk about but...
    jolley2k jolley2k 18-21, M 1 Response Oct 19

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    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 2 Responses Oct 18

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    Don't make from someone all your life,

    because if he leaves you, you will lose your love for living and you will be so tired emotionally..
    Mira111 Mira111 18-21, F Nov 1

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    I just came back form a party

    and I'm sleeping in a friend's house in Barcelona city. There are two friends making up next door... While I am all alone here!! 😂😂 I am not tired and I feel uncomfortable about the situation!!!
    debende debende 18-21, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    Can i just stop pretending

    for a day an not worry what people will say to me and not have the chance of being put into a mental hospital I just want to be good not just ok.
    alexjohnson28 alexjohnson28 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 10

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    Guys please help me out here I still can't get

    over my boyfriend past I seen when he was single he was talking to few girls on Facebook but one he was talking in a sexual way to her he told me it was all talk and he was bored if could of happened but if he wanted to he could of gone round but never but .... We went away a...
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    heyitsabike heyitsabike 31-35, F 2 Responses Dec 22, 2013

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    Just like it says. I do pretend I'm okay.

    I know it's unhealthy to bottle up my emotions, but I can't help but think what people would say about me. and everyday it gets worse. All I've been thinking about is that the darkness that surrounds me, is getting darker and stronger. And I don't know what else to do or think...