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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,545 People

    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I'm haunted by the past,

    dissapointed with the present, and afraid of the future. Day in, and day out, I have vivid flashbacks of my youth, of the fun I had, memories I relish, fears I faced, and joy that every new day brought me, but now it's all slipped away. I always used to imagine fatherhood, love...
    Eclipse993 Eclipse993 18-21, M 3 Responses 22 hrs ago

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    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori 18-21, M 3 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    irreelevance irreelevance 16-17, F Mar 11

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    I haven't felt the sting of being in love in

    such a long time i forgot what it feels like to torn down by love. Knowing you'll bend over backwards for just one more dose of the pained feeling of being in love. With something you can't have. Knowing that once you've had that moment it's all over.. Without air i can not...
    dropitnow52 dropitnow52 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    HidingTheScars HidingTheScars 13-15, F 3 Responses May 2, 2014

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    gigus gigus 22-25, M 2 Responses Mar 13

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    I know things are not okay,

    i know my life is as messed up and as empty as it can be but i still put a smile in my face to not look weak around them. But i am weak:(
    Boraboo Boraboo 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    I go snowboarding with friends When I'd

    rather be in bed Tonight I'm going to a Garth brooks concert I'd rather stay home and sleep away the hurt But i keep goin out with my friends so they don't see what's really goin on
    BillyOMalley BillyOMalley 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 22

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    piercethevicx piercethevicx 16-17, F 22 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    Excuses. They consumed my life.

    Bruises on cheek? I was hit by a football. Cuts on my arm? The glass cracked and managed to slice a perfect line. A limp when I walked? Someone knocked me over. Sprained wrist? Injury from PE. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses. Excuses.
    betruetoyourself14 betruetoyourself14 13-15, F 2 Responses Feb 27

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    Myself and sleep In a love story.

    ..Destroys it the bell every morning
    gigus gigus 22-25, M Mar 16

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    I pretend I am, but I'm not.

    ... I want to feel okay, I want to look okay, I want to ACT okay. I want things to go back to when they were easier. Back to when I didn't feel like a failure on a daily basis. I just wish I knew how I could fix things. All I know for now is that I'm done pretending...
    untamedx3heart untamedx3heart 22-25, F Feb 9

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    I'm Sorry

    Maybe I should write this as a confession instead of a story.   I'll probably end up deleting it anyway ... the truth hurts ... lol.   I've battled depression for most of my life.  The last 10 years at least, I've won that battle more often than not. I...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2010

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    Hi, How Are You? Fine Thanks, and You?

    Isn't it funny how a person can have so many acquaintances and be surrounded by people but still experience such profound disconnection? We pass each other on the street and say a quick reflexive Hi How are you? Fine, thanks, and you? I'm fine. See you later. It kinda saps the...
    CharlieAfrica CharlieAfrica 22-25, F 20 Responses Jun 13, 2009

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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    "Are you okay?" No. The last time I am really

    okay was before I met you. Before I became so needy about you. Before I became too worried about you. I could be okay without you, I just chose not to. Because I know that deep down, I still need the not-okay me being beside you.
    rockettothemoon08 rockettothemoon08 18-21, F Feb 9

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 2, 2013

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    I overcompensate a lot

    when I'm sad or depressed, so people end up thinking I'm crazy and overly happy.
    WhereThereIsHope WhereThereIsHope 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    I can't pretend any more.

    Today I will be checking in to a hospital. im afraid it will turn out to be more of the same medicate and forget philosophy.
    SShawnO SShawnO 41-45, M 2 Responses Mar 10

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 8 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    I've learnt though that it's not the best thing

    to do. Not only is it exhausting but it can also hurt the people around you. About a month ago something happened that has just left me feeling shattered. I like to keep certain thing private and honestly just didn't want to talk about. So I've been trying very hard to put on a...
    Viviq66 Viviq66 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    So, earlier, my friend decided to switch the

    lids on two of her pens, which she knows really irritates me. Then she said "don't worry though, I never put them in my pocket like this" My thoughts triggered. I thought about it as a metaphor. It's like the pens are people. When they are out, with others, in the open (pens...
    loveyourselfalwaysxx loveyourselfalwaysxx 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    SilentScream0327 SilentScream0327 18-21, F Mar 16

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    ^Life for me is something else ,

    i have become a person i didnt expect to be :/ i look in the mirror & i see alot of changes in me ,the loving & understanding person i use to be but in reality iam MEAN :( & i hate myself for that :/ i have lost my one so called true friends , the family i share my comfort...
    H143 H143 18-21, F Feb 5

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    Mylo248 Mylo248 16-17, F Mar 3

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    Sometimes I tell to people .

    .........I'm fine everything's okay For the purpose of avoiding the question (why)
    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I Like to Keep Things Pretty...

    It gets a little messy if I decide to say "I'm not okay, what do you think? I'm so ******* fed up with everything. I don't want to go home today. I feel invisible, but I didn't want to burst your bubble today, b/c you're so happy today." Can you imagine the awkward...
    BowsAndBones BowsAndBones 16-17, F 8 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    some critical of me going crazy .

    ... I accepted it :)
    gigus gigus 22-25, M Mar 13

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    I went to therapy a few days ago

    and she said that you can't hold in your feelings because one day they will come up again. You have to deal with them. I hate going to therapy because after I get so emotional. Like I've been crying all day. But I realize that I need therapy. But the problem is I feel like I can...
    Robin1226 Robin1226 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 14

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    It's the hardest thing to tell someone the

    truth. How much I'm hurting on the inside...so I pretend. It's easier to say that I'm okay than to let anyone see the tears in my smile.
    ImxoxSurviving ImxoxSurviving 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    The last couple days I've noticed something was

    wrong. I can't put my tongue on it. My boyfriend even noticed it today. I'm getting really pissy all the time and just not myself. I have to go throughout the day just so my friends and family don't think there is something wrong with me. Hopefully this passes. I don't know what...
    CheerleaderEm CheerleaderEm 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 21

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    Honestly? i felt so tired.

    Drained. Alone. Pained. Broken. I wanted to scream the pain inside me! i wanted to blame! and curse! those people who did this to me... but i just realized i have no more energy to do this....
    KarenIsMyName KarenIsMyName 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 21

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    All my life, I've always forced myself to put

    on a smile so that everyone knew I was this "sweet" person. No one (not even my parents) knew what I was dealing with inside. They still don't. Inside, I'm really confused to the point that I don't even know myself. I don't know what I like, what's my favorite color, or what I...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, F Feb 10

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    shethia shethia 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23

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