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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,782 People

    I think today is the first day in a while

    that I haven't pretended that I'm okay. I actually feel pretty good today. And when suffering from severe depression it actually feels good to have a real smile on my face for once instead of a fake one.
    emotionsrunwild emotionsrunwild 18-21, F 4 Responses May 13, 2014

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    You ask me if I'm ok cause you know I'm sad

    but I pretend I'm okay :,(
    vaitatiana34 vaitatiana34 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 2

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    I wonder what you think

    when you see me on here and don't message me. I'm sure you have found someone younger, thinner, prettier. Just like my ex husband did.
    upextraolives upextraolives 46-50, F 15 Responses Jun 10

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    I must be the ugliest person alive.

    I swear... I think that's why I can never get a friend. Because they're all so judgmental that friendship has to matter based on looks... Wow....
    loveyanoone loveyanoone 18-21, F 9 Responses May 18

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    At school I act happy

    and act like I'm okay.... Then I break down at home.
    depressedandhurt101 depressedandhurt101 13-15, F 4 Responses May 1, 2014

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    Lately I've been having suicidal thoughts

    and i haven't been able to stop thinking about them, so I started to wright "kill me now" in my note book on each page, and somehow one of my friends or someone got into that note book and wrote "I love you. Please dont go" once i read that i just started crying... I didn't...
    EyelessGlitch EyelessGlitch 16-17, F 5 Responses Jun 9

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    I just plaster a smile on my face

    and say everything is okay when its really not. sometimes i want to burn in a pit and never be seen again. Someone just delve their hand in my chest and rip my heart out... i deserve it...
    Beaniesandbands1 Beaniesandbands1 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 26

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    I pretend everything is okay

    so nobody worries about me. I let my sadness hide in the back of my heart hoping that it will just go away and wondering how to fix it if it doesn't. I don't know what is the truth anymore.
    denimblue denimblue 36-40, F 2 Responses May 2, 2014

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    But really I'm not...

    There's been so many times I've pretended that I was perfectly fine but haven't been. Like on time after I got into a fight with my best friend of like seven years, I was so depressed. We ended things in such an ugly way that I could never forgive her. I spent so many days...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 18

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    i dont know for how long i will stay like

    that that hurs so much..:((((((..
    imanb99 imanb99 13-15, F Jun 2

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    I've never been an open person,

    always being closed off. And I like it that way, having things for myself. I hate talking about myself in general. I think I've never really told anyone how I am and feel orally. Some people at school have started noticing I'm not fine, even though I try to act normally. The...
    dysfori dysfori 18-21, M 2 Responses Mar 26, 2014

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 8 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    deleted deleted 26-30 17 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    lifenotknife lifenotknife 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2007

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    The thing about living is

    that their will be some form of human interaction. A forced small talk to be polite and the inevitable question, "How are you" followed by an even more dreadful "I'm okay." I say these words without a second thought. But I am not okay.
    macabre00 macabre00 26-30, F 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    flowergirl1997 flowergirl1997 18-21, F 7 Responses May 31

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 2, 2013

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    I haven't many friends.

    just two male friends that I care about. but we really see each other. I don't have any female friends because it's always been hard for me. (feel free to read my past post about my last female friends and you'll see why). I've been lonely lately and tried making plans with some...
    Hteag Hteag 31-35, F 1 Response 2 days ago

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    Everyday i go to work

    and pretend to be okay. i keep a smile plastered on my face and i pretend to be happy. i know that in order to be professional..this is what i have to do. i have to check my problems at the door. i cant stand people that have problems and they come into the office and take it...
    welcome2myworld welcome2myworld 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Ok do uses think this is a good idea me

    and my bf are thinking about buying houses then selling them so we can make money to buy are own house and not have a bigger mortage but he still wants to go on hoildays every year even when were saving does it sound like he's not being seroues about it all
    kayloulou kayloulou 22-25, F 2 Responses Jun 27

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    AlexzanderPrinc3 AlexzanderPrinc3 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 9

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    Maybe it will help me to feel

    that i'm okay while im actually not.
    IrenkaSchipper IrenkaSchipper 16-17, F Jun 14

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    I fake a smile, I just hate myself

    so much, I sometimes want to kill myself, but it's too wrong. I suck at everything, I'm so ******* dumb, I'm a huge loser, I'm drop off school because I stupidly believed my uncle and inconsiderate (You will move to France and u have to take tailor career, I couldn't do it, my...
    Theworldandme Theworldandme 16-17, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    Pretend. I pretend to laugh.

    I pretend to smile. I pretend that I'm okay,When I'm really not. You would think that your own family would realize how miserable you are; but they don't. Or it could be that I'm really good at pretending. I pretend so much, it's become a second nature. One day, I wish to let...
    WonderxGirl WonderxGirl 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 30

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    You see that girl? she looks

    so happy right? telling jokes, smiling, having a great time... and dying inside. she's hurt and tired. Tired of all the drama, tired of not being good enough, tired of life. But she doesn't want to look dramatic, weak and attention seeking. So she keep it all inside. Acts like...
    DeathThrone DeathThrone 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 23

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    I constantly say I'm fine

    but deep down I'm drowning in my own tears
    anamontanez anamontanez 13-15, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    so my friend he's in the ICU

    and when I went to ask his mom if he's ok she yelled at me for asking. I feel like crying and its all my fault when it comes down to it. I hurt everybody with out even trying ????
    Luna2468 Luna2468 13-15, F 5 Responses Jun 9

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    I'm good at hiding it

    but the truth is I'm sick. I am not doing well. Haven't been for awhile now. I have cirrhosis of the liver thanks to many years of alcohol abuse. It's all my fault, I have nobody to blame but myself. I don't have the guts to tell my kids or my mom or any other family member. I...
    flyingmonkies flyingmonkies 41-45, M 2 Responses Jul 10

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    Today, I feel so sad.

    I need two things in my life which are playing hard to get: my certification, and a partner. I have tried and tried. Will still try and try. But today, I feel so sad. So sad.
    one2talk one2talk 31-35 Jun 2

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    I fell deeply in love with someone I shouldn't

    have, but I couldn't help it as she was my twin flame. I was filled with shame & guilt, hiding our love from everyone including each other. She passed away and I couldn't tell anyone of the agony I was facing but I couldn't breath & often felt like I'd been shot in the chest. I...
    Fiftypercent Fiftypercent 18-21 Jul 4

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    I want to kill myself

    so badly. I want to cut. I hate myself more than anything. I ******* suck. I hate myself
    XxautychanxX XxautychanxX 13-15, F 4 Responses Jul 7

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    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    Today at school I felt like everything was

    annoying me again. I wanted to punch my best friend..but I guess we have all wanted to do that at one point right?
    ThisIsLife13 ThisIsLife13 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 2

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    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    How could you put me aside

    after your movie?
    elinacynthia elinacynthia 22-25, F 6 days ago

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    I haven't read an article

    that summed up my pain and shame of loving someone like me before. "When You Love A Person Who Comes From A Broken Family" http://thoughtcatalog.com/koty-neelis/2015/05/when-you-love-a-person-who-comes-from-a-broken-family/
    zeeva70 zeeva70 41-45, F Jun 10

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 7 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    I walk around school,

    smiling and joking around, When all I want to do is be left alone and cry and vent. I get home tell my mum all of the 'great' things I did that day, then go to my room and just sit there trying not to think until mum makes me come out. At the moment I don't get the point of any...
    kaiana2000 kaiana2000 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    I lost my fiance in November 2007.

    I lost my brother last week who protected me from the man who raped me at 8. I have not cried ever. And i do not think I need to. God is kind and i believe that. It does not mean I am not broken from within but i still move on. I want to feel lighter by crying but I am unable to...
    deceptiveoutofcloset deceptiveoutofcloset 26-30, F 3 Responses 4 days ago

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    I have to pretend i'm okay.

    No one wants to listen to whats on my mind or how my day really was. No one wants the full story. I just have to keep pushing myself through these lonely days and hope everything will get better. I don't give up and I can keep fighting. But i'm weak all by myself. My thoughts...