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I Pretend I'm Okay

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 16,472 People

    Sometimes I want people to attack me

    so I will have a reason to go insane , bat **** crazy and attack back with all I got
    zmnsha zmnsha 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 3

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    I overcompensate a lot

    when I'm sad or depressed, so people end up thinking I'm crazy and overly happy.
    WhereThereIsHope WhereThereIsHope 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    When someone asks me how I am I say I'm fine

    and every once in a while I want someone to understand that I'm not ok
    alwaysloverh alwaysloverh 16-17, F 3 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    I've learnt though that it's not the best thing

    to do. Not only is it exhausting but it can also hurt the people around you. About a month ago something happened that has just left me feeling shattered. I like to keep certain thing private and honestly just didn't want to talk about. So I've been trying very hard to put on a...
    Viviq66 Viviq66 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    I feel myself breaking

    and it kills me inside
    Mylo248 Mylo248 16-17, F 2 Responses Jan 9

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    Sick Of Pretending..

    Im sick and tired of pretending that telling you goodbye, for the second time!! Was the best thing for the both of us. But why than do i replay every little conversation we ever had, through text mostly, trying to find hidden meanings behind the words you said. Just thinking and...
    deleted deleted 26-30 8 Responses Jul 14, 2012

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    Broken Inside

    We all pretend to be okay...wether its at the beside of a dying loved one or in the middle of a test with 20 million problems on your mind and wishing you could just let go and burst into tears. i've been through both of these and the 1st one we do because of compassion..we don...
    lifenotknife lifenotknife 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2007

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    ^Life for me is something else ,

    i have become a person i didnt expect to be :/ i look in the mirror & i see alot of changes in me ,the loving & understanding person i use to be but in reality iam MEAN :( & i hate myself for that :/ i have lost my one so called true friends , the family i share my comfort...
    H143 H143 18-21, F Feb 5

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    Well Usually I Do!

    Except I've gotten to the point I know I'm about as far from OK as it's possible to be and still manage to survive, don't get me wrong I'm not suicidal or anything like that. I just know I can't continue the way I am, I'm desperately trying to change the things that are wrong in...
    Illiteratetroll Illiteratetroll 46-50 8 Responses Jun 15, 2012

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    Nobody Really Wants to Know ...

    It seems people are so busy, so preoccupied, etc. these days they either don't care to listen or are too worried to share the truth of the matter for fear of not being listened to.  I can't blame those who don't share ... I'm one of them. I realize, after an illness, people...
    AbbyNormal AbbyNormal 31-35, F 24 Responses Sep 15, 2007

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    I always pretend i'm okay

    even when i'm ready to just ball my eyes out. If someone asks me about my problems it just makes me so much more upset. So i always pretend to be okay....
    Alisonsmith2014 Alisonsmith2014 18-21, F 9 Responses Jan 16, 2014

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    I walk around school,

    smiling and joking around, When all I want to do is be left alone and cry and vent. I get home tell my mum all of the 'great' things I did that day, then go to my room and just sit there trying not to think until mum makes me come out. At the moment I don't get the point of any...
    kaiana2000 kaiana2000 13-15, F 6 Responses Dec 11, 2014

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    I Like to Keep Things Pretty...

    It gets a little messy if I decide to say "I'm not okay, what do you think? I'm so ******* fed up with everything. I don't want to go home today. I feel invisible, but I didn't want to burst your bubble today, b/c you're so happy today." Can you imagine the awkward...
    BowsAndBones BowsAndBones 16-18, F 8 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    It's the hardest thing to tell someone the

    truth. How much I'm hurting on the inside...so I pretend. It's easier to say that I'm okay than to let anyone see the tears in my smile.
    ImxoxSurviving ImxoxSurviving 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    No one wants to hear

    if you're not okay...
    Jennyboii Jennyboii 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2014

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    Sometimes I tell to people .

    .........I'm fine everything's okay For the purpose of avoiding the question (why)
    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    Fake It 'till You Make It

    time and time again i have felt like i was bleeding inside... and plaster a smile on my face to hide the fact.  and around people i dont really know well, i still do.  it is just so much easier than dealing with their pity.  sympathy i can handle; pity, no. ok...
    SunnyKris SunnyKris 26-30, F 3 Responses Aug 5, 2007

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    gigus gigus 22-25, M 1 Response Jan 24

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    Everyone has lies they say to others.

    My personal favorite is saying I'm okay. In all honesty I'm far from it. I've felt broken for a very long time now. Loneliness, depression, anxiety and no one to even talk to. All my friends are back home and I've never been close enough with my family to tell them how I truly...
    smokebombtom smokebombtom 18-21, M 1 Response Jan 4

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    I go snowboarding with friends When I'd

    rather be in bed Tonight I'm going to a Garth brooks concert I'd rather stay home and sleep away the hurt But i keep goin out with my friends so they don't see what's really goin on
    BillyOMalley BillyOMalley 18-21, M 2 Responses Jan 22

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    piercethevicx piercethevicx 16-17, F 22 Responses Dec 3, 2014

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    "Are you okay?" No. The last time I am really

    okay was before I met you. Before I became so needy about you. Before I became too worried about you. I could be okay without you, I just chose not to. Because I know that deep down, I still need the not-okay me being beside you.
    rockettothemoon08 rockettothemoon08 18-21, F Feb 9

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    Its hard to be like this

    and even if you say you have to worries, i know everyone does. Dont lie to yourself and others saying you're happy there always something making you sad even if you don't show it. At my middle/high school my group of hang out buddies always have something wrong with them but...
    Cheshirecupacat Cheshirecupacat 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 7

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    faking a smile everyday.

    it sucks so bad and I don't think anyone understand how I'm actually feeling inside
    dizzydreamerrr dizzydreamerrr 13-15, F 3 Responses Mar 24, 2014

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    The last couple days I've noticed something was

    wrong. I can't put my tongue on it. My boyfriend even noticed it today. I'm getting really pissy all the time and just not myself. I have to go throughout the day just so my friends and family don't think there is something wrong with me. Hopefully this passes. I don't know what...
    CheerleaderEm CheerleaderEm 16-17, F 8 Responses Jan 21

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    I didnt realized how ****** up I am

    until someone asked. I confuse dreams with reality; I constantly have to remind myself of consequences because I forget about rules and social norms in reality. I used to and sometimes still hear voices telling me unpleasant things. I used to have sleep paralysis attacks at...
    brownspots brownspots 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 19

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    I pretend I am, but I'm not.

    ... I want to feel okay, I want to look okay, I want to ACT okay. I want things to go back to when they were easier. Back to when I didn't feel like a failure on a daily basis. I just wish I knew how I could fix things. All I know for now is that I'm done pretending...
    untamedx3heart untamedx3heart 22-25, F Feb 9

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    I went to therapy a few days ago

    and she said that you can't hold in your feelings because one day they will come up again. You have to deal with them. I hate going to therapy because after I get so emotional. Like I've been crying all day. But I realize that I need therapy. But the problem is I feel like I can...
    Robin1226 Robin1226 18-21, F 3 Responses Feb 14

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    I'm Sorry

    Maybe I should write this as a confession instead of a story.   I'll probably end up deleting it anyway ... the truth hurts ... lol.   I've battled depression for most of my life.  The last 10 years at least, I've won that battle more often than not. I...
    SeriouslySappy SeriouslySappy 51-55, F 19 Responses Mar 9, 2010

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    But there's just some days

    where you have to keep it together. :)
    Dotcom2 Dotcom2 26-30, M Jan 4

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    I have a history of depression

    and have only just been off antidepressants for about 2 months. I thought I was ok but I guess I'm not. I feel ok one minute and really sad the next. My bf hates it when I cry but sometimes I can't help it. For the past few days we've been fighting alot and he just broke his 6...
    pensivepaws pensivepaws 26-30, F 4 Responses Jan 8

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    I know things are not okay,

    i know my life is as messed up and as empty as it can be but i still put a smile in my face to not look weak around them. But i am weak:(
    Boraboo Boraboo 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 24

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    All my life, I've always forced myself to put

    on a smile so that everyone knew I was this "sweet" person. No one (not even my parents) knew what I was dealing with inside. They still don't. Inside, I'm really confused to the point that I don't even know myself. I don't know what I like, what's my favorite color, or what I...
    WeirdOtaku WeirdOtaku 18-21, M 1 Response Feb 10

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    Honestly? i felt so tired.

    Drained. Alone. Pained. Broken. I wanted to scream the pain inside me! i wanted to blame! and curse! those people who did this to me... but i just realized i have no more energy to do this....
    KarenIsMyName KarenIsMyName 18-21, F 1 Response a week ago

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    Not Ungrateful

    You can feel me, nervous bundle of awkward energy squirming under the table; I'm talking to people, being charming, and there's your touch, hidden, but potent. You used to touch me to make me calm. You used to find me when I was gone, one foot out the door in a conversation I...
    RascallyRabbit RascallyRabbit 31-35, F 3 Responses Dec 4, 2012

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    I'm the type of person

    who doesn't like when other people see my cry, or be sad, angry, etc. I always pretend I'm okay, so there is such a big deal about it. I mean, no one in my family really cares about me so...
    maddie91101 maddie91101 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 21

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    KariOHou KariOHou 51-55, F 4 Responses Jun 12, 2014

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    No Self-worth & Feeling Unwanted

    I wouldn't call this a story or anything of that nature, if that makes any secne to anyone. But I can be honest that I've alway felt that people never actually saw me when they looked at me. I've alway felt that I could never win when it came to having a good friendships and...
    DarkAngel0309 DarkAngel0309 22-25, F 6 Responses Aug 22, 2012

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    I thought I was okay.

    But then a friend sincerely asked me "are you okay?". Then it hit me. I nodded and hold it in till I reach home. I locked myself in my room and just cried like nothing matters. She's probably the first to ask me that and she sounded like she really cared. She made me realize...
    CallMeShayYeah CallMeShayYeah 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 6

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    It is easy to pretend you are ok

    when you are in the company of others. Putting on a mask is like putting on your make up- a staple part of your day that becomes routine for when you are on your way out to start your day. You can fake a smile and a laugh, engage in conversation and put on all the pretences of...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Apr 19, 2014

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    I've Been Pretending....

    I put on a smile and tell you everything is ok, but the truth is my heart is breaking. I play along with the game you are playing...the game you are playing with everyone, not just me. I see this happening and wonder what have I done wrong?? It’s not me…it’s you…you need...
    deleted deleted 26-30 7 Responses Mar 1, 2013

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    At school I act happy

    and act like I'm okay.... Then I break down at home.
    depressedandhurt101 depressedandhurt101 13-15, F 4 Responses May 1, 2014

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    HidingTheScars HidingTheScars 13-15, F 3 Responses May 2, 2014

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    It's become a problem.

    Everyone in my life thinks I'm this happy and bubbly person. I'm not. I have this other side of me that is dark. Not happy and rainbow. I have a side that sits in my room, waiting for the day to pass by. I have a side of me that lays in my bed, crying and sulking about why my...
    tomaddyandbeyond tomaddyandbeyond 16-17, F 1 Response Dec 10, 2013

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    It's easier and safer

    than saying how u really feel.
    wedgieshurtalot wedgieshurtalot 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 2, 2014

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    Everyday i go to work

    and pretend to be okay. i keep a smile plastered on my face and i pretend to be happy. i know that in order to be professional..this is what i have to do. i have to check my problems at the door. i cant stand people that have problems and they come into the office and take it...
    welcome2myworld welcome2myworld 41-45, F 3 Responses Jan 15, 2014

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    Yesterday was my mothers funeral,

    and not a single tear fell from my eyes. I smiled for most, and even laughed. I stood up and read a piece in the church. There was over 200 people. The vicar said "we normally only get this many people at Christmas." It's not that I'm happy she is dead, although it did put an...
    Heellover Heellover 36-40, M 2 Responses Jan 22

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    I don't even really mind pretending.

    I don't have to explain myself to people. As long as I act like I'm okay, I have hope that u actually will be someday
    a7xwrecked a7xwrecked 16-17, F Jan 3

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    shethia shethia 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23

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    I pretend everything is okay

    so nobody worries about me. I let my sadness hide in the back of my heart hoping that it will just go away and wondering how to fix it if it doesn't. I don't know what is the truth anymore.
    cutsy cutsy 36-40, F 2 Responses May 2, 2014

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    Yeah

    I'm okay (see I can act)
    deleted deleted 26-30 Nov 2, 2013

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    alright. well yesterday was fine,

    but today is a complete ******* mess, i've been crying for the past hour for no damn reason and it's ******* annoying. i dont know what to think or do, i'm just crying and crying, and not even my parents came to check on me as they usually do. i didn't go to school today, and...
    angelgoinghome angelgoinghome 13-15, F