I Pretend Like I Am Not Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,911 People

    When I was about 13, I went through some really

    tough times with my family. Alone, I battled depression for 3 years, as I was powerless in the situation. I put on a mask like I was fine and happy and I have lived like that until the past 2 weeks. Then a feeling of overpowering despair hit me like a brick. It's like all of the...
    megcat533 megcat533
    22-25, F
    Mar 25, 2016
    deleted deleted
    May 3, 2015

    Many women or men use suicide tactics

    as manipulation for attention. .....please institutionalize
    istilllovemilk56 istilllovemilk56
    51-55, F
    1 Response Oct 31, 2014

    Fake It With A Smile.

    Im 13. Going on 14 years old. Im ALWAYS depressed. I have gotten shingles over 3 times in 2 years..for those of you who do not know, it is very unlikely people over the age of 50 get it,You cannot even get the vacination until you are 50 or older. Ive learned almost everyday...
    catmarie11 catmarie11
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Sep 19, 2012

    Everyone expects me to be little miss perfect.

    I have always been the strong one in my family complex. My sister is bipolar and was diagnosed when she was only 10. I was 8 years old and then was pushed to the side. I felt like I always had to be the happy child for the longest time to help my mother out. She never understood...
    marie3195 marie3195
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 2, 2014

    I don't know if I'm pretending

    or if I've truly started to believe that I'm not depressed anymore. I just think there are a lot of other factors that play into this. This post is going to sound whiny, but I think it's okey to whine sometimes. Especially if you don't have anyone to talk to, or anyone who...
    fcksociety fcksociety
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 22, 2016

    I've gotten so good at hiding my depression

    that I sometimes believe I'm actually happy, but then night falls and everyone is fast asleep. I hope that I can fall asleep before thoughts/ memories pop into my head, because I know that I won't sleep for hours because can't stop crying...like right now.
    k3ll1n k3ll1n
    18-21, F
    1 Response Aug 1, 2015

    OK so yeah I pretend.

    .. I hide what I feel inside from everyone cause I know they won't care anyways. I smile and laugh like nothing hurts or ever has. I show emotions on the outside but the inside just sits there blank. I say I'm OK when I know I'm not. I know I must say I'm not OK or I won't be...
    wannaloveyou wannaloveyou
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Dec 3, 2014

    I hide and bottle my feelings up

    so others won't have to worry. I hide my pain behide my straight teeth smile,but sometimes it becomes too much and I end up crying myself to sleep. Tear by tear slipping uncontrollably down my cheecks,today is one of those days . I tried to distract myself but there's no...
    moonstar147 moonstar147
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Dec 24, 2014

    Mr. Nice Guy

    I do not know why but when I feel really depressed and do not like me let alone the world, I am nicer to people.  I wave more to strangers and make snippy little jokes to make others feel better.  All the time hating my own life and my own hypocritacal attitude.  I...
    allofus allofus
    46-50, M
    3 Responses Jun 25, 2009

    well, I try not to mope around all day.

    ...I usually forget my depression, temporarily when I'm around ppl...
    deleted deleted
    Aug 30, 2015

    I don't know when it started.

    I don't know when it will end. I just know my now is consumed by it. This feeling that is so intensely felt, that makes me feel nothing at all. This pain that takes away everything I don't have. This fear of failure that constantly haunts me, keeping me awake at night, tears...
    ashlenamya66359 ashlenamya66359
    26-30, F
    1 Response Feb 5, 2016

    It's gotten a lot easier,

    the fake smile is easily plastered on. I'm always the person who seems happy go lucky, always helping out other people, and always with a smile and a skip in my step. But inside, constantly torturing myself with self doubt, and that constant loop of insults that I shoot at...
    nicias nicias
    16-17, M
    2 Responses Mar 6, 2015

    I Can't Cry Anymore

    I'm a mother and a caregiver, and for these reasons and more feel that I have to be strong for my family. But sometimes the sadness inside becomes almost unbearable. I haven't been able to really cry for a long time now, just a few quick tears now and then. I want to cry, feel...
    Mountaingirl07 Mountaingirl07
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Sep 29, 2011

    So, I'm a 16 y/o who's depressed,

    big deal... That's what I want to be believe. Anyway, I've been depressed for over 2 years, it affected me so much that it got to the point that everyone around noticed. Of course, I didn't ask for help, I didn't want anyone to know nor to be worried about my problem. I've...
    freedeer freedeer
    18-21, M
    1 Response Jan 19, 2015

    I find myself constantly using comedy to ensure

    that others around me don't really know... Me. I feel like I'm shattering on the inside. I need someone to talk to, and I'm stuck all by myself.
    baylift baylift
    22-25, M
    1 Response May 5, 2014

    It really works to cope

    and leave depression behind. It's a first step. I am no longer depressed.
    4biandu 4biandu
    31-35, F
    1 Response Dec 14, 2015

    People just hang around me

    because im the guy who smiles and acts kindly to everyone. Most of the time I'm just seeing how I can make people happy by making them laugh because I don't want people to feel the same way I do. There's a few times that I can't handle my own thoughts and just loose it but no...
    ThatRandomShortGuy ThatRandomShortGuy
    18-21, M
    3 Responses Aug 6, 2015
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    Apr 14, 2016

    But I really am, here I'm able to be free truly

    free with no inhibitions, I can be sad on the inside but put on a brave face and even joke around. But I'm so sad about big things and small all the time, Just so so sad
    notthatweird notthatweird
    22-25, M
    1 Response Oct 31, 2015

    Why act down all the time

    when it will only cause people to worry, and unnecessarily at that? I feel terrible when I burden people with my problems, and this is one I'll fight alone.
    Lunasnight Lunasnight
    18-21, F
    2 Responses May 3, 2015

    My husband has severe depression,

    anxiety, and ADD (don't get me started on adult ADD). It's like it's rubbed off on me, but we can't afford for both of us to be depressed. I take care of him while I try to deal with my own issues.
    happilyeverafter5110 happilyeverafter5110
    31-35, F
    Feb 3, 2015

    People think of me as a happy

    and cheerful girl but once I'm in my house I'm all depressed my own parents hate me can't live with it I need someone to I stand my problems I hate this I'm just too ******... How on earth am I supposed to know what I'm does if I don't know what happiness is I feel as if I never...
    LemonMerang LemonMerang
    16-17, F
    1 Response Jun 13, 2014

    What Else Can I Do?

    I've been through so much lately, but the worst part living 1000+ miles away from my family and right near my wife's family, who are all quite unsupportive and just don't care. I have no friends down here where I live. I'm alone. I'm questioning everything I've learned as the...
    zaaphod zaaphod
    51-55, M
    1 Response Sep 16, 2013

    Fake Smiles

    i wonder how many people actually do this? if i dont pretend like i am not depressed then i would be one of those people you hate to be around. no one wants to be around the person that is always complaining about what is wrong with themselves. i just act like i am ok to passify...
    metalgirl99 metalgirl99
    36-40, F
    3 Responses Mar 8, 2009

    Its My Problem.

    i act happy, i always have a smile on my face, im pretty funny. deep down im the exact opposite. People think im happy when really i wanna cry. there is so much wrong but i just dont wanna talk to anyone about it. I feel like it would just bother people, why do they need to hear...
    sorryforcomplaining sorryforcomplaining
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

    I confided in a close friend

    that I have depression. She replied, "Everyone has depression." I don't blame her at all for thinking that way. She doesn't know any better. But I can never talk about it again.
    ipark024 ipark024
    26-30, F
    May 13, 2014

    You see this girl every day smiling

    and laughing through the entire day and think about how happy she is. But little do you know she is depressed. She goes home everyday and just wants to sleep, and block out the world. She doesn't want to be here anymore. But yet she wakes up every morning and slaps a smile on...
    shadyshanks2019 shadyshanks2019
    16-17, F
    1 Response May 19, 2015

    Ever just wish you had a razor

    or anything sharp right in your pocket? Because I feel that everyday...
    derby123 derby123
    16-17, F
    3 Responses Dec 4, 2014

    No-one knew how I feel.

    It was easy to fake it. I've faked happiness for a long time. Now I can't feel my emotions anymore. I don't have to fake it anymore. I don't have to fake something I don't feel anymore.
    AConfusedLeo AConfusedLeo
    70+, F
    1 Response Apr 11, 2016

    I feel like people understand me in this app,

    that im not the only one in need of comfort and someone to talk to.
    GenesisThoe GenesisThoe
    18-21, F
    1 Response May 5, 2014

    feeling depressed. unhappy.

    God help me... #pressure #family #carrer
    bellaadorna bellaadorna
    26-30, F
    1 Response Aug 3, 2015

    people think I see color.

    they think I know the joy of the sun. but my whole life is a black and white photo and the gray tones are an endless array of sadness. I no longer remember the warmth of the sun or the love of another
    kwrc kwrc
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 19, 2014

    Faking It, Hiding It

    I fake my smiles. only a few of my smiles are legitiment, like the smiles to the guy i like. but my smiles are still fake. when no ones looking, my face looks sad, but if im in public, i try to just make it look like im thinking about something. i hide it. i cut myself, you can...
    Darkfaint Darkfaint
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 5, 2012

    She depresses me... I need her.

    .. She plays with me too much, I CAN'T STAND HER!!! Yet she brightens my day when I see her... We show endless affection too each other we act like a couple, she won't permit it. (a sad *** friend-zone story)
    Jr2299 Jr2299
    18-21, M
    Jul 6, 2014

    So my day consisted of a 6 hour rehearsal

    for my school's play, in which we had a fire and a crazy dance party. But afterwards, I had no ride home, and was locked out of my house. And I realized I'm completely and utterly alone. When I finally got home, I began crying hysterically and fell asleep for around 4 hours...
    theperz217 theperz217
    18-21, F
    Feb 14, 2015

    And it makes me even more depressed.

    . I want to be happy, but my smile is always fake..
    proanonymous proanonymous
    22-25, F
    Feb 3, 2015
    depressedsinceforever depressedsinceforever
    18-21, F
    1 Response Oct 23, 2015

    These last couple of days have been the worst

    of my life, I found a lump in my underarm, I was worried but enough to go to the doc, but not that much. Cancer goes in my family, but I mean I'm 21.. I didn't seriously think of it. My sister yelled at me and called me a bunch of things for worrying enough to even go to the doc...
    lily449 lily449
    22-25, F
    Mar 27, 2015

    I can't cope no more.

    Anybody care for a chat?
    ianh33 ianh33
    31-35, M
    2 Responses May 5, 2015

    Everyone sees me on the outside at this happy

    person who always has a smile on her face and can have fun and make you laugh... Nobody sees or knows how I really feel inside... I love it how the national greeting isn't "Hi!" Or "Hello" anymore.. It's "Hi, how are you?" "Good! how are you?" "Good!" and you walk away...
    Sadgirlwithoutarazor1 Sadgirlwithoutarazor1
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Jun 10, 2014

    My step father (which i never call him

    because he was around since i was 3 yet he doesnt see me as his son cause he has real kids) has told me and my mom (who is disabled) that we have to find "somewhere to go" because he's gonna put his stuff in storage and get a room. You might be thinking what the heck did I or my...
    forevaaloneeee forevaaloneeee
    22-25, M
    2 Responses Mar 2, 2016

    "Oh, you look good!" "You're

    such a pretty and smart girl." "That smile is so beautiful." ... It's called makeup, focus, and faking smiles.
    KelBell14 KelBell14
    18-21, F
    Feb 4, 2015

    Sorry in advance if what i write is all over

    the place. I'm not that type of person who tells her friends and/or family how i feel because i wouldn't what them to worry about me. I have this constant pain in my chest, that i can't really describe; and at times i feel like crying at random moments. I'm not in a right place...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 31, 2016

    I have moved to a private school this year

    and i feel so left out and cannot really make friends. People there have been knowing others since yr7. They are really close and I feel like I can never ever get close with them. I wanna move back to my previous school but my mum wouldnt allow and my new schppl is really goood...
    qwert135 qwert135
    18-21, M
    Feb 3, 2016

    I have an illness that makes me irrationality

    and irrevocably sad and hopeless. When it comes on it changes my entire perspective and at times it is debilitating but I'm not giving in.
    honestlyanonymouslyme honestlyanonymouslyme
    26-30, F
    1 Response Sep 3, 2015

    Some days is more difficult then others

    but I try to pretend I am ok. I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager. About 8 years ago I was diagnosed with clinical depression. I have never told anyone. Why? Because I found the more I tried to express how I feel the more people disappeared from my life...
    Edanamarie Edanamarie
    31-35, F
    Sep 26, 2014

    (I refer this to Christians going through

    TRIALS or/and TEMPTATIONS, lest a fellow wishes to wrongly counter the write-up)  Dear Christians and whomever this may concern, God doesn't give us what we can handle but helps us handle what we are given, because, just as impure gold is passed through fire and made pure, we...
    Lincoln98 Lincoln98
    18-21, M
    1 Response Apr 10, 2016

    I have been pretending

    that I am not depressed for a long while now almost to the point where I believe that I am not but ultimately I can't run from it because the sadness always comes back. While there are a few things that I really enjoy in life, they just can't out weigh the sadness I feel...
    keribaby keribaby
    26-30, F
    1 Response Nov 18, 2014

    It makes everyone happier

    since I know people don't like to deal with me in general, so it makes me easier to ignore which helps people be happier. I may be worthless, but I'm not useless; I can halt the cause of annoyance and hatred in a room just by pretending as if I don't exist.
    deleted deleted
    Jul 19, 2015
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