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I Pretend Like I Am Not Depressed

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 2,054 People

    I go on with my day as

    if I'm ok. I give my self excuses everyday tell my self i look wonderful. But really on the inside I'm lying to myself. I lay awake at night crying because of gl how fat i am. I had my first child 9weeks ago and before I had hi i said to my self that I would loose the weight...
    TATK02 TATK02 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 6

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    Hia, I think that was the best title.

    I try and show everyone I am happy, I try and keep a smile on my face, but that isn't real. People always say, Nick if you want we can talk about how you are feeling. But we can't talk about it, the ask me to explain it and I can't. People just want to know gossip. I want...
    LittleNickB LittleNickB 18-21, M 3 Responses Apr 17

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    I don't know what is wrong with me

    but I feel low all the time these days. It sucks but it has become a fact of my life.
    keribaby keribaby 22-25, F May 29

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    I wouldn't say I'm fully depressed.

    .. I would just say my past isn't a good place to let my mind wonder... Yet that seems to be the only place it wants to go. I have a boyfriend who I talk about it to often. He is very helpful and supportive and I am thankful for him he is able to make me smile, laugh, enjoy...
    keepkeepinon keepkeepinon 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 8

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    I Fail At This

    To be honest, it's hard for me to try to pretend anymore. I know everyone saw through my smiles, and now that I no longer do that sort of thing, everyone's asking me why I'm so down. I don't frown for attention; in fact I'd rather nobody ask, since the answer is...
    misteraugust misteraugust 18-21, M 7 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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    Rosexxo Rosexxo 13-15, F Jun 11

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    Well, i don't think i'm depressed

    but i feel like if i would explain how i feel to somebody, that's what they would think i am. I don't really know why i'm writing this because i'm going to say anything since it's extremely broad and i will feel worse. I guess i'm just trying to figure things out for myself.
    Loserlift Loserlift 22-25 1 Response Jun 21

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    I have no friends, but

    when I see people I always tend to smile and act like nothing in the world is wrong with me. I've been laying in the bed now for 6 days now, I don't eat, I try to eat but I just get full, but anyways, I literally have no one to talk to. No one walks in my room to talk to me. I...
    bellasophia bellasophia 18-21, F 2 Responses May 22

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    To my boyfriend, I'm fine.

    To my best friend, I'm sad... But fine. To myself, I'm broken. Falling apart day by day. Pretending I can hold this mask up forever. Lying to everyone, knowing any day Ill break. Walking around with so much **** on my mind constantly thinking about everything going on knowing I...
    soitskindoflikeadiary soitskindoflikeadiary 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    Everyone sees me on the outside at this happy

    person who always has a smile on her face and can have fun and make you laugh... Nobody sees or knows how I really feel inside... I love it how the national greeting isn't "Hi!" Or "Hello" anymore.. It's "Hi, how are you?" "Good! how are you?" "Good!" and you walk away...
    Sadgirlwithoutarazor1 Sadgirlwithoutarazor1 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 10

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    I Can't Cry Anymore

    I'm a mother and a caregiver, and for these reasons and more feel that I have to be strong for my family. But sometimes the sadness inside becomes almost unbearable. I haven't been able to really cry for a long time now, just a few quick tears now and then. I want to cry, feel...
    Mountaingirl07 Mountaingirl07 51-55, F 2 Responses Sep 29, 2011

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    Still Depressed

    My Brother & MOther & friends still think I am ok, because they don't see me as much as my husband, he understands though.  I pray to God every day to take this pain away, but it is still here, I get scared.  I don't know what to do sometimes, but I hang on.
    violets violets 41-45, F 6 Responses Mar 9, 2009

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    I Don't Want People Worrying About Me

    You have those days when you're just glad to be alive and around everyone. Those days when you're happy to be around people even if they're full of hate. But you also have those days when you feel like crap, where the world seems like it's coming down on you because of something...
    stripesANDsunshine stripesANDsunshine 18-21, F Sep 6, 2009

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    I am. I HATE my voice it is light

    and dark at the same time. And everytime i hear it at someones phone it is like someone just stabed me in the heart and raped me with a bottle. PLEASE SOMEONE SAY SOMETHING THAT CAN TAKE ME OUT OF THIS DEPRESSION!
    barbieisabitch barbieisabitch 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 28

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    Let depression creep.

    At an all time low. Anhedonia apparent. I need to quit it all. I'm suffering so much but no one will ever know. I need to find help I guess I'll talk it over with my doc because this needs attention. To be taken off this many things so suddenly isn't good but what I'm doing...
    AllLoveXOXO AllLoveXOXO 18-21, M May 26

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    I tried to kill myself

    so they put me in a facility. In patient scars you more than the world. A girl tried to kill me with dull @$$ scissors and they said it was my fault because I was "antagonizing"!!!!! She was damaged and now that experiences has ruined scissors for me for life Lol (dramatic) but...
    hellerpeople hellerpeople 13-15, F 1 Response 17 hrs ago

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    Let me just start off by saying I've always

    been somewhat intellectual, deep thinking, and factual, but I've always looked out for everyone besides myself my whole life. But after a rough battle with my recurring depression which has resurfaced every year since 8th Grade, I now fail to see the worth in humanity. I've made...
    gonepsycho gonepsycho 16-17, M 1 Response Apr 17

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    Fake It With A Smile.

    Im 13. Going on 14 years old. Im ALWAYS depressed. I have gotten shingles over 3 times in 2 years..for those of you who do not know, it is very unlikely people over the age of 50 get it,You cannot even get the vacination until you are 50 or older. Ive learned almost everyday...
    catmarie11 catmarie11 18-21, F 4 Responses Sep 19, 2012

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    Not only am i gay but i hate my appearance

    when I'm meeting a new friend they always want to see what i look like and im scared if i send them a picture of myself they'll stop talking to me
    JustThatPerson JustThatPerson 13-15, M 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I Pretend She Didn't Kill Me Inside

    I had a Thing with this girl for about six months and we had gone all the way a few times, She has a boyfriend who she kept telling me she was going to dump, which she did and got back together with in the same day, we still talk and she tells me all about what s going on with...
    stuckinmyhead stuckinmyhead 18-21, M 2 Responses Aug 13, 2009

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    Its My Problem.

    i act happy, i always have a smile on my face, im pretty funny. deep down im the exact opposite. People think im happy when really i wanna cry. there is so much wrong but i just dont wanna talk to anyone about it. I feel like it would just bother people, why do they need to hear...
    sorryforcomplaining sorryforcomplaining 16-17, F 2 Responses Aug 12, 2012

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    I was under the impression

    that the "fake it til you make it" method works. I've been faking it for two years now... Hopefully someday I'll be happy again, and I mean really happy. Maybe someday I'll learn to love life again.
    notsurewheretogofromhere notsurewheretogofromhere 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 28

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    I just feel like I'm slowly giving up

    and that hiding it isn't helping but what am I supposed to say to people that see it or talk to me about it, I dont think anyone can help
    lewis349 lewis349 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 19

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    Mr. Nice Guy

    I do not know why but when I feel really depressed and do not like me let alone the world, I am nicer to people.  I wave more to strangers and make snippy little jokes to make others feel better.  All the time hating my own life and my own hypocritacal attitude.  I...
    allofus allofus 46-50, M 3 Responses Jun 25, 2009

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    Well emotions are not welcome on earth,

    so you gotta be strong.
    kiddishguy kiddishguy 26-30, M Jul 7

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    She depresses me... I need her.

    .. She plays with me too much, I CAN'T STAND HER!!! Yet she brightens my day when I see her... We show endless affection too each other we act like a couple, she won't permit it. (a sad *** friend-zone story)
    Jr2299 Jr2299 13-15, M Jul 6

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    I'm so unhappy with life.

    I pretend my life is fine, but in reality I am so desperate for something to help me. Problem is no one cares. Who would want someone elses burden anyways? I barf everything I eat and sleep most of the day from how depressed I am. Loneliness is a *****.
    cringing cringing 16-17, F Jun 13

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    Ok ik I'm not that new

    but compared to some of these members xD anyways I might be offline more or just seem distant for a while idk why but I've been wicked depressed lately more then usual I'm on my period ATM and I can't stand living I'm just so out of it like idk I might go bak to a therapist at...
    ImNotOkayWhyCantYouSeeThat ImNotOkayWhyCantYouSeeThat 13-15, F Jun 11

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    Yesterday was a particularly bad day

    for me, I took a pill for the first time since I tried to kill myself through an overdose and all the feelings from that day came back. The thing was I had to take the pill because I was at a competition and I couldn't let my team down and not compete with them. I have the...
    anon1995 anon1995 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 7

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    I find myself constantly using comedy to ensure

    that others around me don't really know... Me. I feel like I'm shattering on the inside. I need someone to talk to, and I'm stuck all by myself.
    baylift baylift 18-21, M 1 Response May 5

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    I always force a smile

    and I'm even able to make my eyes look happy. The worst part is, people believe it. At the end of this last school year, I even had at least 3 people right that I was always nice and happy. I guess I was pulling off the act better than I thought.
    BeYou321 BeYou321 13-15, F 1 Response Jun 10

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    I Feel Like I'm Two People

    I don't know what to do. I never really realized I was depressed until I looked at myself in the mirror and I felt like I had died inside. But of course I can't tell people this, so I put on this air of being the best at everything. Most of the...
    annesocial annesocial 22-25, F 6 Responses Jan 13, 2010

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    Surrendering To Temptaion

    This is who I've become , who they made me. As  i begin to think daddy's biker chick is not so tough now all cut open and bloody burnt out and hallow , Mommy's little nightmare is not so scary now crying alone in the dark corner like a scared little child. A monster i am...
    majormassacre majormassacre 13-15 1 Response Nov 9, 2010

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    Tired

    I'm tired of always being the strong one who.has it all together. Because I'm not.
    Suprmom7 Suprmom7 31-35, F 3 Responses Jan 25, 2012

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    I feel like people understand me in this app,

    that im not the only one in need of comfort and someone to talk to.
    GenesisThoe GenesisThoe 13-15, F 1 Response May 5

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    People think of me as a happy

    and cheerful girl but once I'm in my house I'm all depressed my own parents hate me can't live with it I need someone to I stand my problems I hate this I'm just too ******... How on earth am I supposed to know what I'm does if I don't know what happiness is I feel as if I never...
    LemonMerang LemonMerang 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 13

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    I know I'm not alone.

    I do it everyday. But sometimes I just wish I could be happy... And the only thing that could make me happy... I can't have :|
    MrUnkn0wn MrUnkn0wn 13-15, M 3 Responses Apr 7

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    I've Struggled With Depression My Whole Life - But I'm Still Here

    For starters, I'm a senior citizen. A lifetime of experience, but I'm still struggling.... My first suicide attempt was at age 11. Later, post-partum depression (which no one recognized back then) nearly took me out. I swallowed a lot of pills but survived, which I initially...
    cbandcb cbandcb 61-65 1 Response Aug 12, 2012

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    I go through the day with a smile on my face.

    I pretend that just for a day everything is okay. I pretend my biological mother still wants to know me after all these years of not knowing she existed. I pretend moving to Texas was a good thing and that my biological mother wants to be a part of my life.
    JennBaby94 JennBaby94 18-21, F Jun 10

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    What Else Can I Do?

    I've been through so much lately, but the worst part living 1000+ miles away from my family and right near my wife's family, who are all quite unsupportive and just don't care. I have no friends down here where I live. I'm alone. I'm questioning everything I've learned as the...
    zaaphod zaaphod 46-50, M 2 Responses Sep 16, 2013

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    In This Life You Have To

    It's funny how all of your neuroses can collide, causing you to act in ways you normally wouldn't. That is where I am. I am truly a lost soul, floating around languidly about the night. I am depressed about my life, my failures, my shortcomings, and those of others. Everything...
    TheEvilLeaper TheEvilLeaper 26-30, M 2 Responses Apr 5, 2010

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    Dont Have Time

    I dont have time to be depressed, so maybe its not as bad as other people's... I feel bad in my body a lot, and I cant make myself get out of bed in time to go to work when everyone else does... Thank God, I am salary.  I also have a 2 year old that wont let me...
    MISTRESSROXY MISTRESSROXY 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 13, 2009

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    Am I Worth The Love?

    Going out. Black make-up, ripped up clothes. Wax, hair spray. Mohawk. Spiky accessories. Though. ****? If you say so. Whatever.. I meet you. You see my smile. Sparkling eyes. Bundle of joy. Acting crazy. Having fun. We're laughing all day long. As the sun goes...
    xLoveYoux xLoveYoux 18-21 1 Response Oct 19, 2011

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    I always do this cause I don't like telling

    people how I feel. I don't like to bother people with my ****. So pretending is the way to go :D
    PedroNune PedroNune 16-17, M 1 Response Feb 21

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    I confided in a close friend

    that I have depression. She replied, "Everyone has depression." I don't blame her at all for thinking that way. She doesn't know any better. But I can never talk about it again.
    ipark024 ipark024 22-25, F May 13

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our

    school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my mind I was thinking "you know what, I'm gonna try to talk to her, I need to man up, I need to know how to talk to a girl and here's my first...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M Apr 7

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    Faking It, Hiding It

    I fake my smiles. only a few of my smiles are legitiment, like the smiles to the guy i like. but my smiles are still fake. when no ones looking, my face looks sad, but if im in public, i try to just make it look like im thinking about something. i hide it. i cut myself, you can...
    Darkfaint Darkfaint 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 5, 2012

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    Fake Smiles

    i wonder how many people actually do this? if i dont pretend like i am not depressed then i would be one of those people you hate to be around. no one wants to be around the person that is always complaining about what is wrong with themselves. i just act like i am ok to passify...
    metalgirl99 metalgirl99 36-40, F 3 Responses Mar 8, 2009

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    Its one of the hardest thing to do.

    Pretending your not depressed. Faking a smile. A laugh. Just to show to everyone that your "okay". When in fact, everything is falling apart. Scratch that. YOUR falling apart. Some times all I want is for someone to hold me. Understands me. Listens to me. Put up with me. Stay...
    Meloryne Meloryne 16-17, F Apr 7

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    I think one of the saddest things is when two people really get to know each other: their secrets, their fears, their favourite things, what they love, what they hate, literally...
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    I pretend to be happy for everyone except ep. No one cares really, but it usually makes people happy when you're happy and smiling. That's all I want, for everyone to be happy.
    Kmarcum99 Kmarcum99 13-15, F 9 hrs ago