I Pretend To Be Okay

And it takes a long time to master.

I've practiced my entire life. I used to watch my face in the mirror, see how I react to certain things to know what I would look like when Dad came home, or when I got yelled at. I don't practice...

Okay, well today is the second day my husband has been gone. it is killing me that he isn't here with me. i miss him like crazy and i honestly have realized how much i love him. its crazy what distance can do, it makes you realize that...

He makes me answer questions all the time and doesn't even
mind my own privacy. He wants to know what I'm doing every second.
He's criticizing me but not being controlling.
I don't have to answer to no one every time they cant get a...

I put up a fake smile so people will think I'm fine. The only problem is, the more I smile and the more they think I'm okay, the more they think I can handle. I just want someone to realize I'm not okay, and I can't handle it all. Or...

I realize somtimes I have put myself in a dark cave of misery, is there someone I can talk to?
Weres a good friend when I need one.., I feel lost and cold alone sitting in a dessert of crying people, saying help me, help me,
Out of the...

I've been pretending since elementary school. Are you okay? Oh sure I'm fine. Does our taunting bother you? No, please, continue. Are you depressed? No, of course I'm chipper. You look upset, are you? Nope, nope, I'm great. Are you sure...

Whenever I meet my friends or any acquaintance and they ask me about my well being ,I usually lie to them saying that I'm OK or good but really I'm not.I don't understand why I suppress my feelings and not tell truth?And this pretending...

At school I smile laugh and play around with my friends. At home I just survive. But what they don't know to get out the pain in have I've been scratching myself till I bleed. Its a form of cutting but not true cutting. I know its wrong...