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I Punish Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 444 People

    In Too Many Ways ....

    I have punished myself in so many ways for such a long time now .... I can cut my skin I have starved myself to the point of making myself poorly I put myself in dangerous situations I have burnt my skin I have given myself frostbite I have let people emotionally be abused I...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Her Pointless Cries (An Older Piece I Wrote)

    Her pointless cries, her screams unheard. Placed on mute she holds her thoughts and pain inside. Everything about her is broken, twisted with despair, eating at her making her become more aware of what actions she should take to gain her satisfaction. Her hand was once stretched...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Aug 8, 2013

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    I Always Spank Myself Bare......

    Hello everyone when i spank myself, i always do it on the bare bottom, here is what i do. first of all i lay face down on my bed or the floor depends where i am then i start off with my hand, i reach round to my bum and git myself a few times on each cheek to warm myself up a...
    paulspankme paulspankme 22-25 19 Responses Nov 4, 2010

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    All The Time!

    You remember when you were a kid, you were raised with if you made a mistake you should be punished for it?  Well, due to my autism, I took this literally!  I punish myself for everything that I do wrong.  It used to be so bad, that I would literally...
    compulsion2 compulsion2 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 8, 2009

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    Over Tedious Things.

    I punish myself over larger things as well, but at this moment, I lost the remote control and I'm refusing to eat anything until I find it. And I'm incredibly famished...
    itsjustme1001 itsjustme1001 22-25, F 1 Response May 10, 2010

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    Pet

    If I make a mistake... Do something stupid... Forget something important... Hurt someone accidentally... I turn into Pet. Submissive to the point of having a slave's mindset, begging for punishment, depriving myself of comfort, trembling, crying, rocking back and forth. No matter...
    gloomysunday gloomysunday 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 22, 2010

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    Naked Spanking

    I for some reason always feel the need to be spanked naked.I used to get it done on a daily basis but now I have to do it myself.Normally I use a 3 foot stick or a wooden paddle and give myself about 40 to 60 hard hits on my naked skin.First I can feel the sharp sting and the...
    pwllp pwllp 41-45 3 Responses Jan 17, 2011

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    Just Another Mark

    I press the blade to my skin I really know i'm about to sin I don't know for how long i hold But i don't listen to everything i am told I feel the pressure as i press down No Longer must a frown This feels so good i always knew it would I feel a trickle down my arm But it doesn't...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Aug 6, 2013

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    My Scars Are My Reminders.

    For the last two years, I have carved words into my legs. Words I see when I look into the mirror, words I feel.Every time I get changed, I remind myself that I am worthless, hopeless, stupid, ugly, unwanted and pathedic.
    Jynxiexo Jynxiexo 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    Hm...

    I suppose it's just another way of telling myself that I am not good enough. It's not really punishment. It's a reminder. It's a constant reminder that I am not who I am supposed to be. I let people down, and that isn't acceptable. I deserve to be blamed.
    xxbloodyfretboardxx xxbloodyfretboardxx 18-21, F Sep 10, 2009

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    My Long Road Of Personal Healing And The Longer Road Of Depression

    I always have been the type of person who took everything personal...my heart on my sleeve, and i always felt somewhat responsible for everyone actions within my friends group. For the most part I, like everyone else did my best to take the good with bad and press on. My whole...
    supersnake17 supersnake17 22-25 Aug 15, 2012

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    Gym

    When i say I punish myself, when I am at the gym I take it to the extreme sometimes.In my case, "NO PAIN,NO GAIN"! So when you see something or read about something, might be a good idea to get all the info first befor assuming something.......wonder how many of you seen this and...
    mrjody mrjody 36-40, M 1 Response May 30, 2010

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    Raw.

    I dont like being this way, but punishment is what i always 'crawl' back to. Its my default. i like to cut..but what i hate is unwanted attention. im only doing this for myself and i dont give anyone permission to know or see what im doing. so its really annoying if someone...
    GreyDaze GreyDaze 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    It's the Only Explanation I Can Come Up With

      - The only thing that makes even a bit of sense. I punish myself daily in little ways by remembering bad things, calling myself names, beating up on my esteem. I never cut myself a break & rarily am I happy if I get something right. -   - Now EP & my...
    Wynhaven Wynhaven 36-40, F 6 Responses Aug 20, 2009

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    I Deserve It.

    Every time I make a mistake and hurt people, I punish myself in every possible way. I starve/cut/burn/slap/whip/bruise myself. I feel like I deserve the pain because I am so stupid and bad. Besides, I need to warn myself that I won't do that again.
    SomewhereTomorrow SomewhereTomorrow 18-21, F Jul 19, 2010

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    Punish Myself

    I punish myself through self sabotage. Whether I like it or not. Whether I am conscious of it or not. I think I actually enjoy emotional pain, or the fact that it is the only true emotion I can feel properly. It's all I've ever known. Even love should be most painful or else it...
    Mediocre Mediocre 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 25, 2010

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    Spanking My Self

    i am 12 year old and a girl and i spank my self with a brush       on my pants 2 min underwear  2 min and naker 5 min
    andrea123kent andrea123kent 18-21, F 6 Responses Jun 18, 2011

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    For Being Me

    I have a lot of things about my life I don't like, but we'll get to thoughs later. But it's ME, I hate everything about myself. I'm a selfish jerk,and I'm really stupid, and for that, I hate my life, and I make myself go through with it all as punishment. Everyone in my life is...
    DewDropsontheGrass DewDropsontheGrass 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 1, 2012

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    To Put Myself Into My Place

    At times I display the sort of behavior which I consider to be obnoxious, childish, immature. Otheres don't even seem to see it; they don't realize that I consisder every action I'm making to be a mistake and an attempted rebellion against my own iron-fist. They don't see that...
    PessimisticPsycho1996 PessimisticPsycho1996 70+, F 1 Response Jun 11, 2011

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    Self Spanking

    Is there anyone out there who would like to read my story of self spanking over the years. It is not spanking at all but sticks twigs and home made leather floggers that have been so much fun. If there are interested parties I will spill the beens.
    happycat1 happycat1 56-60, M 5 Responses Jul 2, 2012

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    I Love To Torture Myself

    Please comment on my next PAINFUL punishment except, cutting. I really am a bad person and I need discipline. So I will do any punishment
    ghjklu ghjklu 31-35, F 3 Responses Apr 20, 2013

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    I did OD'd on cough medication everyday

    for a week and while on them, I ran a mile in sock feet and no jacket every day in whatever weather. I pushed everyone away. I never ate. I felt worthless. My bf kept cheating on me and everyone was so fake. I couldn't and still can't trust anyone.
    HollyD23 HollyD23 18-21, F 2 Responses Dec 2, 2013

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    Sometimes I am angry about myself

    when I have been mean to friends or lazy. I have give me corner time myself. Is that crazy?
    sofiaaaaaaa sofiaaaaaaa 18-21, F 9 Responses Sep 25

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    How I Spank Myself

    Hi I'm 12 years old going on 13 in the end of November. I punish myself because my parents don't. I spanked myself today because I have bad grades. I have a B+ and a C!! So I needed a hard spanking today. First what I do is get the wooden spoon and brush and set it on my bed and...
    ThatGurl12 ThatGurl12 18-21, F 16 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    I Hate Myself

    I cut myself, but it's less of a punishment and more because it temporarily distracts me from the intense emotional pain I experience. I mentally punish myself because I hate everything about myself. I can't forgive myself for the mistakes I made, especially if other people...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 16, 2011

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    I Punish Myself For Not Having Enough Money

    Im really ashamed to say that but Im extremly superificial and love money and what money can buy - a LOT.because today I couldnt celebrate my bday in the most expensive and coolest club I ended up not celebrating at all,I do not want anything.I dont even want gifts and people...
    panther0008 panther0008 18-21 Sep 29, 2012

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    I Know I Shouldn't

    A lot of times I do it just to hear me cry, but I don't.I know, it is weird, but FUN! So there, I confessed. (Comment below punishments I can give to myself, I'll do ANY punishment!)
    Boopadroop Boopadroop 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2012

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    I Am In Need Of Punishments

    I am 16. Exams is coming soon. And i am procrastinating as ******* hell. I really need some punishments right now. So guys, please punish me severely. I need something to push me on. Anything just any punishment wld do. Thanks :)
    girlygirly97 girlygirly97 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 27, 2013

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    Incorrect

    punish myself. i've done this so many times. i always make mistakes na di don't know why. why can't i be perfect? sometimesi just feel like giving up and sometimes i just feel numb. i punish myself to prevent me from making mistakes, i even insult myself. i do anyhting to just...
    beltroyse beltroyse 22-25, F 3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    Punishments

    I don't have any abuse or family problem in my background, like most people who hurt themselves do. I grew up in a happy household, but somehow it's so easy for me to just hate myself. I used to be severely overweight - until I was 8, that is, at which point I lost a fifth of...
    Crumblyonlittlechange Crumblyonlittlechange 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    I Spank My Self

    i love to spank my self i have for years now it startted back whin i was about 10 i would go out to the barn and do it now i have someone that will spank me just not as much as i would like so i still do when i can
    lcowboy lcowboy 41-45, M 1 Response Dec 26, 2012

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    I Am The Worst To Myself

    I am a kind and good person, to everyone but myself. I hurt myself in ways that people won't see for a while. If I do too many bad things or if I allow myself to get too stressed out, I stop eating. I eat the bare minimum to allow myself to live until I feel it's good enough. It...
    Shebby88 Shebby88 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    Since my wife won't spank me,

    I have to do it myself. I have found some quiet ways to punish that really isn't spanking, but feels like it. Today was my birthday, so I thought I would "treat' myself to some really good punishment. I use those little black clips--the ones that squeeze down. I place those on...
    hickorytravail hickorytravail 56-60 1 Response Dec 31, 2013

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    Fat

    I look in the mirror and all I see is fat. Fat and more fat. "Curvy" as I've been described is Beyonce. I am two tonne tessie with no one to blame but myself. I can't stop eating then I feel worse so I cut then eat then cry and sleep and start all over when I waken. Every days...
    Givenupallhope Givenupallhope 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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    I was never the kind of person

    who wanted to leave a scar. I'm proud to say that I have not been self harming for quite a while now and have found distractions.
    blueworldsapart blueworldsapart 13-15, F Nov 10

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    Bulimic Pain

    Hey guys, I have Bulimia but I can't get better... I thought I was on track but I just keep relapsing. Its like I'm an addict. To make things worse I can't even work out whats triggering me. I've tried everything, I even told one friend about it (but not my family) and that made...
    mistyopal mistyopal 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2011

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    I do punish myself when I get angry .

    And I have worst mood right now
    Johnnystha Johnnystha 26-30, M 2 Responses Jul 15

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    Bad Me!!!!

    I punish myself a lot. Like on March 22, 2013 in my math class we're doing a practice test which isn't that big of a deal, but I've gotten a few questions wrong so I got my pencil and started to cut myself. I've kind of always done this but I'm trying to keep it under control.
    Maggotgirl Maggotgirl 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 22, 2013

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    I Beat Myself

    I've been self-punishing myself since I was younger. My father would yell at me and say cruel things to me for accidents so I would go into a corner where no one could see me and just grab at my hair and hit myself in the face and silently cry. Other times with my grandmother I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 18, 2012

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    Yes

    When I'm angry, upset, in the middle of a breakdown I unplug anything electronic and shove it in my closet because I won't want to look at it and I don't feel like I deserve any of it. It just bothers me. My dad's realized this about me, and got in the middle of me doing it once...
    LifelessSource LifelessSource 18-21, F May 1, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    so i just punished myself for feeling. what a way to be....
    Pigmaginny Pigmaginny 22-25, M 2 Responses 5 days ago

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    There are a lot of anti spanking parents. But I believe it is better to punish your children yourself than to allow them to grow up wild and unruly and end up being punished by...
    Lisamum3 Lisamum3 36-40, F 3 Responses 6 hrs ago

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    i like to hear the views of others on spanking as a punishment
    bemdoverforthebelt bemdoverforthebelt 36-40, M 2 Responses 7 hrs ago

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    All the way through school. Seemed like my rear end could never avoid getting swatted with a paddle. Of course in middle and high school it just became a time saving form of...
    HorseAngel33 HorseAngel33 36-40, F 5 hrs ago

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    Kids and some adults would very likely benefit from corporal punishment when needed. I know I do
    HorseAngel33 HorseAngel33 36-40, F 2 hrs ago

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    It can be very beneficial, as I can attest to. I am an adult woman and still receives corporal punishment when I feel it is necessary
    HorseAngel33 HorseAngel33 36-40, F 1 Response 2 hrs ago

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    On Monday, some of our classmates got punished very severely. However, i'll tell it from my perspective. It all started with an extreme stinging pain in the ear. "Sophie, haven...
    hopetolive2000 hopetolive2000 13-15, F 1 Response Dec 11

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    Why are people so obsessed with punishing people who made a mistake? Regardless of what the mistake was, whether it's breaking a vase by accident or committing murder, I only...
    deleted deleted 26-30 2 Responses Nov 22

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    Hi guys, this few days has been orientation week. It means that we must wear full school attire, follow all the school rules, be introduced to the teacher, and more... I would like...
    hopetolive2000 hopetolive2000 13-15, F 1 Response Nov 27

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    Hi, I didn't go to school yesterday as I wasn't feeling well but I forgot to report it to the school. Today, as I was feeling better, the teacher called me to be punished. And as...
    hopetolive2000 hopetolive2000 13-15, F 3 Responses Nov 29

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