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I Punish Myself

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 415 People

    How I Spank Myself

    Hi I'm 12 years old going on 13 in the end of November. I punish myself because my parents don't. I spanked myself today because I have bad grades. I have a B+ and a C!! So I needed a hard spanking today. First what I do is get the wooden spoon and brush and set it on my bed and...
    ThatGurl12 ThatGurl12 18-21, F 9 Responses Sep 29, 2012

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    Fat

    I look in the mirror and all I see is fat. Fat and more fat. "Curvy" as I've been described is Beyonce. I am two tonne tessie with no one to blame but myself. I can't stop eating then I feel worse so I cut then eat then cry and sleep and start all over when I waken. Every days...
    Givenupallhope Givenupallhope 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 23, 2013

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    Raw.

    I dont like being this way, but punishment is what i always 'crawl' back to. Its my default. i like to cut..but what i hate is unwanted attention. im only doing this for myself and i dont give anyone permission to know or see what im doing. so its really annoying if someone...
    GreyDaze GreyDaze 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 8, 2013

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    Bulimic Pain

    Hey guys, I have Bulimia but I can't get better... I thought I was on track but I just keep relapsing. Its like I'm an addict. To make things worse I can't even work out whats triggering me. I've tried everything, I even told one friend about it (but not my family) and that made...
    mistyopal mistyopal 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 14, 2011

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    Bad Me!!!!

    I punish myself a lot. Like on March 22, 2013 in my math class we're doing a practice test which isn't that big of a deal, but I've gotten a few questions wrong so I got my pencil and started to cut myself. I've kind of always done this but I'm trying to keep it under control.
    Maggotgirl Maggotgirl 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 22, 2013

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    I Know I Shouldn't

    A lot of times I do it just to hear me cry, but I don't.I know, it is weird, but FUN! So there, I confessed. (Comment below punishments I can give to myself, I'll do ANY punishment!)
    Boopadroop Boopadroop 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2012

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    I Punish Myself For Not Having Enough Money

    Im really ashamed to say that but Im extremly superificial and love money and what money can buy - a LOT.because today I couldnt celebrate my bday in the most expensive and coolest club I ended up not celebrating at all,I do not want anything.I dont even want gifts and people...
    panther0008 panther0008 18-21 Sep 29, 2012

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    In Too Many Ways ....

    I have punished myself in so many ways for such a long time now .... I can cut my skin I have starved myself to the point of making myself poorly I put myself in dangerous situations I have burnt my skin I have given myself frostbite I have let people emotionally be abused I...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F 4 Responses Aug 5, 2013

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    Punish Myself

    I punish myself through self sabotage. Whether I like it or not. Whether I am conscious of it or not. I think I actually enjoy emotional pain, or the fact that it is the only true emotion I can feel properly. It's all I've ever known. Even love should be most painful or else it...
    Mediocre Mediocre 22-25, F 3 Responses Feb 25, 2010

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    Fix Me

    I always feel that I deserve to be treated badly. can't get rid of this thought- I always feel guilty about treating other and I feel the only thing that will make things right is that I deserved the worst that happen to me or going to happen - I think of the worst - wish I could...
    Dove9 Dove9 26-30, F 11 Responses Oct 10, 2013

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    I Am In Need Of Punishments

    I am 16. Exams is coming soon. And i am procrastinating as ******* hell. I really need some punishments right now. So guys, please punish me severely. I need something to push me on. Anything just any punishment wld do. Thanks :)
    girlygirly97 girlygirly97 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 27, 2013

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    Just Another Mark

    I press the blade to my skin I really know i'm about to sin I don't know for how long i hold But i don't listen to everything i am told I feel the pressure as i press down No Longer must a frown This feels so good i always knew it would I feel a trickle down my arm But it doesn't...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 6, 2013

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    My Scars Are My Reminders.

    For the last two years, I have carved words into my legs. Words I see when I look into the mirror, words I feel.Every time I get changed, I remind myself that I am worthless, hopeless, stupid, ugly, unwanted and pathedic.
    Jynxiexo Jynxiexo 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 13, 2011

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    I Hate Myself

    I cut myself, but it's less of a punishment and more because it temporarily distracts me from the intense emotional pain I experience. I mentally punish myself because I hate everything about myself. I can't forgive myself for the mistakes I made, especially if other people...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Oct 16, 2011

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    Gym

    When i say I punish myself, when I am at the gym I take it to the extreme sometimes.In my case, "NO PAIN,NO GAIN"! So when you see something or read about something, might be a good idea to get all the info first befor assuming something.......wonder how many of you seen this and...
    mrjody mrjody 36-40, M 1 Response May 30, 2010

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    Spanking My Self

    i am 12 year old and a girl and i spank my self with a brush       on my pants 2 min underwear  2 min and naker 5 min
    andrea123kent andrea123kent 18-21, F 6 Responses Jun 18, 2011

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    Her Pointless Cries (An Older Piece I Wrote)

    Her pointless cries, her screams unheard. Placed on mute she holds her thoughts and pain inside. Everything about her is broken, twisted with despair, eating at her making her become more aware of what actions she should take to gain her satisfaction. Her hand was once stretched...
    deadinsideout deadinsideout 26-30, F Aug 8, 2013

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    Punishments

    I don't have any abuse or family problem in my background, like most people who hurt themselves do. I grew up in a happy household, but somehow it's so easy for me to just hate myself. I used to be severely overweight - until I was 8, that is, at which point I lost a fifth of...
    Crumblyonlittlechange Crumblyonlittlechange 16-17, F 2 Responses Dec 15, 2011

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    To Put Myself Into My Place

    At times I display the sort of behavior which I consider to be obnoxious, childish, immature. Otheres don't even seem to see it; they don't realize that I consisder every action I'm making to be a mistake and an attempted rebellion against my own iron-fist. They don't see that...
    PessimisticPsycho1996 PessimisticPsycho1996 70+, F 1 Response Jun 11, 2011

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    I Always Spank Myself Bare......

    Hello everyone when i spank myself, i always do it on the bare bottom, here is what i do. first of all i lay face down on my bed or the floor depends where i am then i start off with my hand, i reach round to my bum and git myself a few times on each cheek to warm myself up a...
    paulspankme paulspankme 22-25 17 Responses Nov 4, 2010

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    My Long Road Of Personal Healing And The Longer Road Of Depression

    I always have been the type of person who took everything personal...my heart on my sleeve, and i always felt somewhat responsible for everyone actions within my friends group. For the most part I, like everyone else did my best to take the good with bad and press on. My whole...
    supersnake17 supersnake17 22-25 Aug 15, 2012

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    Pet

    If I make a mistake... Do something stupid... Forget something important... Hurt someone accidentally... I turn into Pet. Submissive to the point of having a slave's mindset, begging for punishment, depriving myself of comfort, trembling, crying, rocking back and forth. No matter...
    gloomysunday gloomysunday 18-21, F 4 Responses Jan 22, 2010

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    For Being Me

    I have a lot of things about my life I don't like, but we'll get to thoughs later. But it's ME, I hate everything about myself. I'm a selfish jerk,and I'm really stupid, and for that, I hate my life, and I make myself go through with it all as punishment. Everyone in my life is...
    DewDropsontheGrass DewDropsontheGrass 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 1, 2012

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    All The Time!

    You remember when you were a kid, you were raised with if you made a mistake you should be punished for it?  Well, due to my autism, I took this literally!  I punish myself for everything that I do wrong.  It used to be so bad, that I would literally...
    compulsion2 compulsion2 22-25, F 5 Responses Oct 8, 2009

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    Incorrect

    punish myself. i've done this so many times. i always make mistakes na di don't know why. why can't i be perfect? sometimesi just feel like giving up and sometimes i just feel numb. i punish myself to prevent me from making mistakes, i even insult myself. i do anyhting to just...
    beltroyse beltroyse 18-21, F 3 Responses Aug 27, 2009

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    Over Tedious Things.

    I punish myself over larger things as well, but at this moment, I lost the remote control and I'm refusing to eat anything until I find it. And I'm incredibly famished...
    itsjustme1001 itsjustme1001 22-25, F 3 Responses May 10, 2010

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    I Am The Worst To Myself

    I am a kind and good person, to everyone but myself. I hurt myself in ways that people won't see for a while. If I do too many bad things or if I allow myself to get too stressed out, I stop eating. I eat the bare minimum to allow myself to live until I feel it's good enough. It...
    Shebby88 Shebby88 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 10, 2012

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    It's the Only Explanation I Can Come Up With

      - The only thing that makes even a bit of sense. I punish myself daily in little ways by remembering bad things, calling myself names, beating up on my esteem. I never cut myself a break & rarily am I happy if I get something right. -   - Now EP & my...
    Wynhaven Wynhaven 36-40, F 6 Responses Aug 20, 2009

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    I Love To Torture Myself

    Please comment on my next PAINFUL punishment except, cutting. I really am a bad person and I need discipline. So I will do any punishment
    ghjklu ghjklu 26-30, F 3 Responses Apr 20, 2013

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    I Beat Myself

    I've been self-punishing myself since I was younger. My father would yell at me and say cruel things to me for accidents so I would go into a corner where no one could see me and just grab at my hair and hit myself in the face and silently cry. Other times with my grandmother I...
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Sep 18, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    I had just taken a shower and as I sat on the floor over a black towel putting a hair mask on, I prepared my leg. Cutting is as much a part of my beauty treatment as makeup and...
    Shhush Shhush 18-21, F 4 Responses 3 days ago

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    When I make a mistake, I hate myself, I get angry with myself & I want to hurt myself & punish myself!!! I feel worthless. I suffer from depression & social anxiety. I mentally...
    l2thedoublej l2thedoublej 26-30, F 5 Responses Mar 24

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    my mom married 3 times. each guy treated her worse than the one before. the last one was my dad who abused her, his kids, her kids by previous marriages, and anyone else within...
    Transluminal2010 Transluminal2010 41-45, M 2 Responses Apr 6

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    The Silent One How do one describe as being normal. Is it to do and act what others think is normal? Or so what people think is normal. I am nothing but a normal to you. You see...
    lifeisbeautiful7 lifeisbeautiful7 18-21, M 34 mins ago

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    Children needs to be disciplined, no matter the age or gender. That is how me and my sisters and my brother were raised - I was born in a underclass household in the early 70's...
    MaryKoviski MaryKoviski 36-40, F 4 Responses Apr 3

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    I've always thought I was a pretty okay guy. A cut above average. But maybe that isn't so true after all. I made the choices that got me to where I am today. I had an awesome...
    sirloinsteak sirloinsteak 22-25, M 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    My grade in Spanish class is the reason I cry myself to sleep... Also my extreme loneliness and awful personality but of course, those don't matter as much.
    natalie433 natalie433 16-17, F 1 Response 3 hrs ago

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    I could write a 30,000 word prose of why I am depressed and why life has led me to the way I feel right now. But none of that really matters. It doesn't matter what life...
    Isabel13 Isabel13 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 22

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    I got in to trouble at school as I was answering back the teachers so they phoned my mom and told her and said they will be sending a letter to her. when I got home from school I...
    tony2014 tony2014 13-15, M Apr 2

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    Last night I was stupid, I was upset, and I was hurting, and I thought the best thing to do, to take away the pain was to drink 1/2 bottle of Vodka. Needless to say, today I feel...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 2 Responses Apr 4

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    Every mistake I make I obsess over and beat myself up over I hate myself even more each time I make another mistake. I cut because I deserve the punishment.
    sammylynn333 sammylynn333 16-17, F 6 days ago

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    OMG I cant believe what my stepdad made me do for a week, hes making me wear nappies for a week as he said its a extra punishment for the bad school report I got on Friday. and if...
    tony2014 tony2014 13-15, M 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I want someone to over power me I love feeling helpless and love feeling it go inside me and start to gush I've never had a vigor intense one but I need to be punished ;)
    lilmisssme lilmisssme 18-21, F 11 Responses Mar 27

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    I was punished badly I was spanked 30 times on my bare *** then taken to get my nails done then to get some new panties and spanked again and finally made to stand in front of my...
    Subsissy42 Subsissy42 41-45, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I told you guys that I hated myself. Now I am in a messy circumstance and I felt everything was falling apart. I might not finish my degree on time when the financial stance is not...
    InFiDeL0020 InFiDeL0020 26-30, M Mar 24

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    It's been over half a year since I cut myself for the first time. I got home from school and had been stressed and as they say "when it rains, it's pouring". I got inside my...
    iSabishii iSabishii 18-21, F Mar 24

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    Here the past few days I've been dealing with a lot of insecurity and self esteem. I was talking with my best friend today and I think I have a really good idea of what I would...
    needinganescape needinganescape 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 1

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    ( Short story: Prologue) My last hope Everything stops. Times stands still. There he lies on the cold ground. Here I’m standing just staring down as death whispers on the end...
    TweDee TweDee 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 21

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    It took me a while to realize that somewhere along my path of life I actually managed to lose myself in reality. I lost old friends and gained new ones and realized I had changed...
    ariel2891 ariel2891 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 26

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    We're all here for the same reason right? We all hate ourselves. But I don't know if I actually hate myself or I just can't find anything about myself that I like. Or I think...
    caseylouise caseylouise 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 27

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    I do this as a way of figuring myself out. I love diving into the deepest depths of my innermost desires and thoughts, exploring myself and learning new things every day. I love to...
    JustAnotherHuman34 JustAnotherHuman34 18-21, M Mar 28

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    I started to really hate myself when I was about 9 or 10. I don't know why but as I was going through the day I realized all of the stupid things I do, how pathetic I am and I...
    skinnylittlewrists skinnylittlewrists 16-17, F 6 Responses Mar 31

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    I came to a realisation today that I have given up on myself. I have been putting on a brave front for the most part, but inside been struggling with inner turmoil. I was driving...
    NewDay NewDay 31-35, F 4 Responses Apr 2

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