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I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 7,374 People

    If I like someone and tell them.

    They always overdue it and I don't love them anymore. Any suggestions on what to do?
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jun 28

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    I believe that I am poisionious

    as I push away everybody that I care about. I pushed Nico away with what I did to my ex-boyfriend Julian. And today when he tried to reach out to me bc I was upset. I pushed him away again which pissed him off. So to all of my EP friends don't get too close bc I will just hurt...
    ChristiBoo2014 ChristiBoo2014 22-25, F 3 Responses Jul 16

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    So earlier today I was volunteering at this

    place (I don't want to be real specific) and there was this guy there also helping out. He was nice and kept making little jokes and small talk. Being that I am such an awkward turtle I really struggled to find responses. I don't know why but questions like "what kinda music...
    ZeroDigits ZeroDigits 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I think I'm a burden

    and a pest so if they stop contacting me I assumed I'm just that and cut contacting them. Or sometimes I think it's best I leave because really they hate my company.
    GrumpyMe GrumpyMe 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    I'm afraid to get close to people,

    and when I feel vulnerable, I go into what I like to call a "self destruct" mode. I burn all the bridges I've ever built because I know I still have control of the flame. It's scary to be able to fully trust someone, and I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't let many people in.
    hornewrecked hornewrecked 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 23

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    It just feels best to not have them deal with

    my problems. I know they won't understand & when I have tried talking about it to them they don't respond with much. I don't expect them to really. It just feels sometimes its all I think and talk about. I have nothing else to say. I don't want my misery to bring them down. Sure...
    SummerSunIsTheOne SummerSunIsTheOne 18-21, F 1 Response May 30

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    I dont know why I do it ,

    especially if I love the person .. i just do so
    ClassicLady ClassicLady 16-17, F 1 day ago

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    Leave them before they leave me.

    People always f*cking leave
    Claire1111 Claire1111 18-21, F 3 Responses Jul 17

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    Pull.

    I always push. I never have a good reason to push. Things can be going just fine but then I get scared and push. Or the fact that even when things are truly OK, my head won't let me believe it. Thoughts will enter my head, thoughts that will tear myself down and give me some...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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    I Don't Know How To Fix It

     My therapist says it stems from being an ACA and abandonment issues. She's right, when I find that I care about someone, I feel obligated to be whatever that person needs (so long as it doesn't compromise my values). Then I proceed to screw it up. Say something or do...
    ArabellaBlythe ArabellaBlythe 22-25, F 11 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    I Need You

    I pushed you away to keep you safe from hurting further.I broke your heart to make you hate me otherwise you wouldn't give up and leave.I need you in my life and miss you but I know you will not forgive me.I have lost you forever.
    memoriescargo memoriescargo 70+ 2 Responses Apr 10, 2012

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    I always think "what if"?

    What if I never pushed that person away? It only takes one person to betray you and you completely change, you learn not to trust and keep your guard up. I always question people and their motives, it honestly scares me when people have pure intentions, it seems too good to be...
    SheAlwaysBelieved SheAlwaysBelieved 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16

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    She said she'd always be there

    for me when I needed a friend. She made me think that if I was ever hurting I could come to her and she'd listen. Goodbye best friend. I'm going to miss you, but ana would rather watch me be miserable and I don't think you're willing to help me.
    PrettyEyesBrokenSmile PrettyEyesBrokenSmile 18-21, F Jun 23

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    kitty465 kitty465 16-17, F 4 Responses Jul 17

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    Whenever anyone gets too close to me I find

    ways to push them away. I build a wall around myself to keep them from getting closer and I distance myself from them in an attempt to make them go away. The twisted thing is I want someone to push back. I want someone that will push back and not let me push them away.
    curiousgirl1214 curiousgirl1214 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 29

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    loovao loovao 13-15, F 9 Responses Jun 23

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    I Do It Unintentionally

    I don't want to push people away but whenever i am hurt. I just want to disappear, not talk to anyone and be on my own. In the process i cut off all the people from my life. I know that i need time alone to deal with the situation. I've realized that it effects the people...
    lazyangel lazyangel 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    I'm really bad with feelings.

    My parents raised me to put their feelings first, and honestly to survive I had to convince myself I wasn't angry at them or they didn't hurt me. And now I've had to start seeing a psychologist and I'm so vulnerable and disgusted by feelings that she had to ask me if I was ever...
    kxCobra kxCobra 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    Time and time again I have pushed people

    for myriads of reasons and regretted it. A guy friend wanted to date me..he had been there for me when I was down in the dumps I pushed him off and drove him away because I was scared. Now he is happy with my ex best friend. Another friend I pushed away because the closeness was...
    Anthromorphic Anthromorphic 22-25, F Jul 9

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    swegmoney swegmoney 13-15, F 2 Responses Jun 14

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    I don't do it intentionally.

    Sometimes if I'm in a rut, I keep to myself and leave others alone. Its a fault I have, but no one's perfect. I rather dwell and deal with my own issues then bother anyone with venting. I guess it feels better that way. My train of thought has always been "Nobody likes a negatve...
    BobFrost BobFrost 36-40, M 2 Responses Apr 21

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    I have this really nice friend on Xbox live

    and my internet was being stupid lately. I got it fixed and now I just make it so I appear offline! Why do I go this. Bloody hell
    noah4314 noah4314 18-21, M 4 days ago

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    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 9

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    My defense mechanism

    when I feel myself getting too close to someone, or the other way around. It scares me so I act like a complete a**hole so they'll go away..
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 1

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    I hope later down the road,

    if we meet again, and we're older, and we've done things with our lives, that we just sit down together and have a drink. You were very special to me... And I know you are with people you love and care about and you need them to tell you that.. The words just could not escape my...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26

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    I always seem to push others away

    because I'm scared of being hurt by someone so i try not to get too close to people 😔😞
    jaynick15 jaynick15 13-15, F Jun 25

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    I am a cappy I have been depressed

    for a week now and I was at the casino and some person said how u doing my friend that really made my day I am a loner I have no friends my family think I am crazy try things more then once .
    cantfindahug cantfindahug 31-35, F Jun 26

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    I have been hurt by the people closest to me in

    the past, which makes it very hard for me to trust. I haven't let anyone get close to me in years. Probably why I'm here!
    Li1981 Li1981 31-35, F 3 Responses Jul 10

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    I do this alot because I value my independence

    and freedom. I also have trust issues which makes it difficult to get close to me, I wear my heart on my sleeve though... I am aware I need to protect my feelings but still I act like an open book... When I feel vulnerable I try to create distance...people who know me know I am...
    LilRedd10 LilRedd10 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2013

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    I ache for a friend,

    yet I can never make one. The few friends I had just stopped calling me one day... I think it's because just never know what to say to anyone, or the fact all I do is follow other people and never contribute anything... I only have 1 friend, except he's much, much older than I...
    Kyros09 Kyros09 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 22

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    I wish I had a genuine friend.

    It's been such a long time since I've felt a true connection with someone. Makes me feel isolated...
    Planetoi Planetoi 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 13, 2013

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    I push people away because I don't to get close

    to them because people have always hurt me.
    Awsomdude14 Awsomdude14 13-15, M 2 Responses Jun 25

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    Alone

    I think I'm supposed to be alone.
    FallenAngelWOOT FallenAngelWOOT 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    I don't know why. I just do.

    I don't have many friends. And when people try to get close. I push them away for no reason.
    haileyknight11 haileyknight11 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    It's just, it's easier to keep to myself then

    trust someone and them betraying me.
    gumdropss gumdropss 13-15, F Jul 19

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    sisi19 sisi19 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 3

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    The Wall

    I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time.  I'm...
    SooperSarah SooperSarah 22-25, F 8 Responses Oct 2, 2013

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    I push people away and don't confide in anyone

    so I'm hoping this site will kind of force my to talk about and face my problems.
    Rosalina94 Rosalina94 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 26

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    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10 18-21, F 6 Responses Mar 4

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    I have this theory that people always leave,

    even if I don't push them away. Therefore, I never bother to get too attached to people. I always keep them at arm's length. I'll befriend someone, all while thinking "this friendship won't last very long." I go into it fully expecting a separation at some point; it's just a...
    MrShortStory MrShortStory 18-21, M 1 Response May 5

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    ... And I Do With...

    ... negativity, alchohol, choice of conversation, and just social ineptitude.  I have wouldn't even know it but for my wife.  Who had resisted all of my attempts to push her away.  And that's why she is my wife. 
    KatzNYammer KatzNYammer 61-65, M Dec 25, 2011

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    I rather be the one to end things

    than to be the one getting ended so I just stop talking to people from time to time, especially when I date guys I usually get bored and peace out a week after we kiss anybody else do that?
    genesisperez genesisperez 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    I can't let anyone not

    even my best friends get close to me. I want to so much but old habits are hard to break. I smile everyday and laugh so their happy but I'm so scared from my past I don't want to get anymore. I'm so scared that someone will be that one person to break me. I'm already hanging by...
    Frozensilence Frozensilence 16-17, F Dec 12, 2013

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    I'm just scared to be left alone by someone

    so I take care of this myself.
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response 1 day ago

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    JoeGriffin67 JoeGriffin67 13-15, M 2 Responses a week ago

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    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    LunaKye LunaKye 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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    I do it all the time

    and I regret it after, people say I'm a real nice girl but I push them away when people get too close, I've been broken and let down by my father and friends and boyfriends in the past, no point starting to let people in when whenever I do, I get walked over I don't know I I...
    Cloclo1234 Cloclo1234 13-15, F Jul 17

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    I feel bad always telling her

    that I can't hang out, and I really have no idea why I keep doing it.
    alittlelame alittlelame 16-17, F 1 Response a week ago

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    I'm always getting hurt

    so I can never trust anyone not even my closest friends I keep everything locked up inside I can't trust anyone..
    MyScarsTellAStory2000 MyScarsTellAStory2000 13-15, F 3 Responses May 24

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    I try to push everyone away.

    The ones who remain are the strong ones who survived all of my storms and stuck around to when I became my best after the storm calmed. It takes strong people to want to stay around me. I'm not easy to love at times. But I'm totally worth it.
    Philli8807 Philli8807 22-25, F 2 days ago

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    I have trust issues,

    and when I feel like I'm being lied to, or feel as if I'm being taken for granted or frustrated for whatever reason, i block people out.. It's kind of just my way of avoiding drama. Ik it's not healthy.. But I'm tired of negativity. I can't even have a best friend, because when...
    Linkson Linkson 13-15, M 1 Response Jun 28

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