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I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,887 People

    When I develop feelings

    for someone, I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt and I take everything they say as them playing a game or something. I push them away when things start to get serious. As if everyone is going to hurt me. I hate feeling like this. I wish I wasn't so guarded.
    nunezquinnad nunezquinnad 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    SgtWalrus SgtWalrus 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    When someone approach me

    or meets me i always seem to come out very brutally honest, more then i sometimes should. This is actually me pushing people backwards so they don't get to close, i don't like that feeling. Feelings of being to close makes me feel like someone is going to hurt me or i'm going...
    Autumnflowers Autumnflowers 18-21 3 Responses May 29

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    Well I did it again I keep doing it

    and I don't understand why. Every person that gets close to me I wait a while feel really strong about them then push them away . I am so depressed Tim is really gone this time we talked last night for hours and then I did it push push and he gave in and said he didn't want to...
    monica0215 monica0215 51-55, F 1 Response May 19

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    norahcc11 norahcc11 26-30, F May 25

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    I used to be really bad about it.

    As time went on and I got older, I began to realize that I do need support from people; pushing help away was stupid of me. I never go asking for help, but I'm smart enough to realize when I cannot do something on my own. We as humans need to help one another, and while some...
    quietfighter quietfighter 18-21, M 1 Response May 25

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    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    Being without a job and without anything to do

    since June, the isolation tends to make me feel as if I am alone and freaky, since I physically have no place to work that puts me in the presence of coworkers and acquaintances. It would be nice if I had people who were okay with my financial dependency on parents and some...
    WayOfDominique WayOfDominique 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    I wish I didn't because I know I need them in

    my life one way or another, whether it's to be best friends or a potential love interest I guess. I think it's the fact that I'm so scared to get close again because I've been hurt so many times by being close to someone and it all just backfires and I'm not ready for that kind...
    jacithepanda jacithepanda 13-15, F Jun 23

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    Whenever anyone gets too close to me I find

    ways to push them away. I build a wall around myself to keep them from getting closer and I distance myself from them in an attempt to make them go away. The twisted thing is I want someone to push back. I want someone that will push back and not let me push them away.
    curiousgirl1214 curiousgirl1214 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    You say it's love. You say it hurts

    so much. But could it really be love when all you've done from the start is be afraid? The fear of ending up hurt never left your mind. It made you vicious. The fear crept towards your heart until it became cruel. It taught you to strike back, to strike first. It didn't give him...
    heymarie heymarie 18-21, F Jun 23

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    I hope later down the road,

    if we meet again, and we're older, and we've done things with our lives, that we just sit down together and have a drink. You were very special to me... And I know you are with people you love and care about and you need them to tell you that.. The words just could not escape my...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26, 2014

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    I don't like to...but I do.

    I do to protect them from my sadness and problems. I make sure they are okay and happy...as long as they are, I don't care if I'm breaking inside.
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jun 26

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    I'm always getting hurt

    so I can never trust anyone not even my closest friends I keep everything locked up inside I can't trust anyone..
    MyScarsTellAStory2000 MyScarsTellAStory2000 13-15, F 2 Responses May 24, 2014

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    I have always distanced myself from people

    and built walls to protect myself. Every time someone would try to get close to me or discuss commitment, I would push them away, and cut them off without hesitation. If someone told me they loved me, forget it, I was gone in the blink of an eye lol. I'm not proud to admit it...
    ThatOneGemini ThatOneGemini 16-17, F 1 Response May 18

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    susancc12 susancc12 26-30, F Jul 13

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    It seems that way lately.

    I'm feeling fine today, but I know I have a lot to work through. I've considered keeping my emotions to myself, but anyone who knows me can see right through me. So, how can I manage? Don't want to lose anyone.
    blindangel92 blindangel92 22-25, F Apr 20

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    I do this because I'm afraid to get close to

    people, Because I don't want hurt again
    taid2000 taid2000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    I just keep ******* screaming

    and screaming at him and I know he's just seething waiting for the perfect opportunity to get away from me. he just doesn't want me to hurt myself and blame him or get him in some sort of trouble. idk why he even bothers to call me we don't even talk. he bullshits me all the...
    justtellinthetruth justtellinthetruth 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 14

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    and I'm doing it again.

    one by one. why can't I just be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be. people either get pushed away or they leave me. I never notice until it's too late.
    ForgetableMe ForgetableMe 31-35, M 2 Responses 8 hrs ago

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    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 4, 2014

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    I always think "what if"?

    What if I never pushed that person away? It only takes one person to betray you and you completely change, you learn not to trust and keep your guard up. I always question people and their motives, it honestly scares me when people have pure intentions, it seems too good to be...
    firefliess firefliess 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    I don't get why do I keep pushing people way I

    mean I want friends in this new town and when I'm about to make friends I ignore the person like garbage I don't want to do this I hate hurting other but I just don't know how to stop this
    Didi33 Didi33 18-21, F Feb 5

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    Even when I felt like i needed to talk to them,

    I am just to scared to say what i need to say. My feelings might just be hurt even more just by misunderstood judgement. When ever i have reached out to people to help me through the problems that i had they would only just end up making me feel worse. Now I don't even know who...
    Onlyoneme18 Onlyoneme18 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I just have a hard time trusting people.

    I've been screwed over by people who meant the world to me and because of those past experiences I always will keep my guard up.
    AlexisH94 AlexisH94 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    I push people away because I have no hope

    for myself. I don't believe them when they actually believe in me. I push people away because I don't want they're sympathy but down inside I do, but they're better off without my weight on their shoulders. I push people away because they act like they know what's going on but...
    lportra24 lportra24 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    I am terrible when it comes to pushing people

    away with hurtful words because I am angry or upset. I don't think about what I said until after I see the hurt in their eyes.. especially when it's my fiance
    emotionalmommy emotionalmommy 22-25, F May 29

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    I can't let anyone not

    even my best friends get close to me. I want to so much but old habits are hard to break. I smile everyday and laugh so their happy but I'm so scared from my past I don't want to get anymore. I'm so scared that someone will be that one person to break me. I'm already hanging by...
    Frozensilence Frozensilence 16-17, F Dec 12, 2013

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    Aquarius255 Aquarius255 22-25, F 31 mins ago

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    He pulled the covers over her naked,

    sleeping body. She seemed at peace with herself he thought as he brushed the hair from her face. In the corner a candle flickered, sending dancing shadows around the bedroom. It had been an eventful night, one that he hadn't planned for. Stepping silently into his trousers he...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    I'm afraid to get close to people,

    and when I feel vulnerable, I go into what I like to call a "self destruct" mode. I burn all the bridges I've ever built because I know I still have control of the flame. It's scary to be able to fully trust someone, and I'm scared of getting hurt. I don't let many people in.
    hornewrecked hornewrecked 16-17, F 4 Responses Jun 23, 2014

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    I do that a lot. I push people away

    before I realize that I don't want that. It sucks.
    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 3

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    I push people away because I feel I'm not good

    enough. I push people away because I'm scared to let them know the real me. I push people away because I don't want unnecessary attention or the backbiting or the gossips. I push people away, Even when I don't want to.
    Dictatorse Dictatorse 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    I guess you could say I'm just tired of bein

    left behind. I've lost so many important people to me in recent months. They just kind of left me behind. And now, getting close to people terrifies me a little. I mean, yeah, of course I love to have friends and people to talk to. But I hate being left behind. And there's...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 8

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    I don't want to blame anyone

    for my choices and behaviour overall I simply want to find the cause of what's happening to me or how I can help myself. People are constantly telling me that I am paranoid but I do not think so. I had issues with my mom and we are not in frequent contact We talk mabe...
    kimberlee1876 kimberlee1876 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    First off I will start by saying- 1) I am a

    very Conscious person 2) I have strong ethics 3) I care about finding answers to my problems and like helping others with there's - if asked. 4) I enjoy helping others and reciprocating the kindness others show and I hope to do the same 5) please excuse grammatical errors...
    nsight nsight 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    I push people away for many reasons; I find

    that when I meet someone I talk to them for a bit and we get to know each other and then I push them away. In my head, if a person will resist this and continue to try then they are likely to be a good genuine friend and as a result our friendship strengthens. sometimes, I...
    Lostinabigscaryworld Lostinabigscaryworld 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    And I always rationalize it is

    as they don't love me "enough"
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 2 Responses May 24

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    I disappointed him. I tried to run

    and in doing so, I lied... I feel awful about it. I need to be more open and let him in. I know this now. I know it hurt him. I've learned how important it is for me to work on opening up. Letting him in. Trying harder.
    May2407 May2407 26-30, F 2 Responses May 28

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    And I continue to hate myself

    for pushing them away, because I get super upset over the fact that they don’t try very hard to stay. I’m sorry, please don’t let me push you away.
    RedHwaiting RedHwaiting 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    Pull.

    I always push. I never have a good reason to push. Things can be going just fine but then I get scared and push. Or the fact that even when things are truly OK, my head won't let me believe it. Thoughts will enter my head, thoughts that will tear myself down and give me some...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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    I can't help it; I dislike being around other

    people in general. Besides, once they got to know me, they probably wouldn't like being around me either. ;-;
    misanthropicpessimist misanthropicpessimist 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    swegmoney swegmoney 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 14, 2014

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