I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 9,390 People

    Forevertired23 Forevertired23
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Mar 18
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Nov 24, 2014

    I push people away because I feel I'm not good

    enough. I push people away because I'm scared to let them know the real me. I push people away because I don't want unnecessary attention or the backbiting or the gossips. I push people away, Even when I don't want to.
    Dictatorse Dictatorse
    22-25, M
    3 Responses Nov 26, 2014

    I run, I don't stay. I'm not good at being the

    one that says I'm worth it. I'm not sure why I can't fight for relationships instead of running. Some part of me will always fear a level of intimacy that someone else can have with you if they truly understand you, I guess. So I leave before they can. Even when it's not my...
    deleted deleted
    Feb 20

    I always do it. I honestly HATE

    when I push people away because [most of the time] It was never intended. I always push people away without realizing it and before I know it they're already so far away to reconnect again.
    Ominousity Ominousity
    18-21, F
    2 Responses Oct 6, 2015

    He pulled the covers over her naked,

    sleeping body. She seemed at peace with herself he thought as he brushed the hair from her face. In the corner a candle flickered, sending dancing shadows around the bedroom. It had been an eventful night, one that he hadn't planned for. Stepping silently into his trousers he...
    deleted deleted
    2 Responses Jul 24, 2014

    It's a bad habit, ever

    since I lost someone who meant the world to me. I hated the fact that I hurt, I hated that I couldn't control my emotion so for a while I became numb. still I push people away when they try to get close, I gain a bad attitude and act like nothing bothers and only opinion counts...
    SarahWishfulJane SarahWishfulJane
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Feb 2

    Whenever anyone gets too close to me I find

    ways to push them away. I build a wall around myself to keep them from getting closer and I distance myself from them in an attempt to make them go away. The twisted thing is I want someone to push back. I want someone that will push back and not let me push them away.
    curiousgirl1214 curiousgirl1214
    26-30, F
    3 Responses Jun 29, 2014

    The Wall

    I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time.  I'm...
    SooperSarah SooperSarah
    26-30, F
    8 Responses Oct 2, 2013

    Especially people who want to be there.

    I've lost a brilliant friend and crush because of this. He sounded horrible, but he was just trying to help. Why did I do it? Now I think he's giving me dirty looks all the time.
    CallumSimpson CallumSimpson
    13-15, M
    1 Response Feb 2

    I think it's just a fear of people leaving me

    without an explanation once I start building a relationship with them and open up a side of me I don't show most. it probably has to do with my mom leaving me with an abusive father when I was very young. she's still in my life but there is no relationship there. I really try...
    deleted deleted
    10 Responses Jan 14

    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    SgtWalrus SgtWalrus
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Sep 13, 2013

    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10
    22-25, F
    4 Responses Mar 4, 2014

    I feel like a bad person I don't intend to

    be Just have a really bad attitude and I wanna fix it and now I regret making someone feel **** for trying to help me with my problems and I pushed them away I push everyone away I don't like to be alone I dislike it . But I'm used to it I guess it's just better to be alone then...
    Deee23 Deee23
    22-25, F
    1 Response Nov 19, 2015

    I don't know why, defence mechanism maybe.

    ..I can be happy and feel everything but then wake up feeling nothing..maybe I'm just scared, and why wouldn't I be? Honestly sometimes I think I broke my ability to feel in a constant way.
    kuronekko kuronekko
    31-35, F
    5 Responses Nov 17, 2015

    I can't let anyone not

    even my best friends get close to me. I want to so much but old habits are hard to break. I smile everyday and laugh so their happy but I'm so scared from my past I don't want to get anymore. I'm so scared that someone will be that one person to break me. I'm already hanging by...
    deleted deleted
    Dec 12, 2013


    I always push. I never have a good reason to push. Things can be going just fine but then I get scared and push. Or the fact that even when things are truly OK, my head won't let me believe it. Thoughts will enter my head, thoughts that will tear myself down and give me some...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Dec 30, 2012

    I'm trying to wrap my head around

    so much right now, like how I feel about you, because you're amazing. I can honestly say I feel like myself when you and I laugh at life, with its twists and turns. You're so inspiring, because you have such inner strength. When you stopped talking to me, I was crushed, but you...
    ZenLioNESS719 ZenLioNESS719
    51-55, F
    2 Responses Mar 26

    How To Turn Six Dollars Into Six Thousand

    Dollars: I found this on a bulletin board and decided to try it. A little while back I was browsing 
through newsgroups just like you are now and came across an article similar to this that 
said you could make thousands of dollars within weeks with only an initial...
    Wtfwhyiseverythingtaken Wtfwhyiseverythingtaken
    26-30, F
    1 Response Jan 10

    I hope later down the road,

    if we meet again, and we're older, and we've done things with our lives, that we just sit down together and have a drink. You were very special to me... And I know you are with people you love and care about and you need them to tell you that.. The words just could not escape my...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23
    26-30, M
    3 Responses May 26, 2014

    I push people away. And I try figure out what

    to do about it. I can't really decide who was hurting me. So I began to push people away... It could be my dad who lived far away and only visited me some hours every second Friday. And when I'm asked him to visit me for my soccer games, he didn't come. Or maybe it was my...
    realcomplicated realcomplicated
    26-30, M
    1 Response Jan 27

    Being without a job and without anything to do

    since June, the isolation tends to make me feel as if I am alone and freaky, since I physically have no place to work that puts me in the presence of coworkers and acquaintances. It would be nice if I had people who were okay with my financial dependency on parents and some...
    WayOfDominique WayOfDominique
    36-40, M
    4 Responses Dec 14, 2013

    I don't like to...but I do.

    I do to protect them from my sadness and problems. I make sure they are okay and happy...as long as they are, I don't care if I'm breaking inside.
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses Jun 26, 2015

    When I was 14. I had my first boyfriend.

    He was 4 years older than me. I was deeply attached to him and losing him felt as losing my self. We had a two year relationship where he made me feel loved and safe. That feeling he provided was new to me, and I couldn't let go of it. From my miserable childhood and early...
    AConfusedLeo AConfusedLeo
    70+, F
    1 Response Apr 11

    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted
    4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

    I'm one of those people

    who will say "I'm okay" while being in a fit of tears. I know it's clear that I'm not 'okay' but sometimes it's just easier to pretend that I am. People always try and support me and I tell them that I'm okay and then they end up getting hurt because I have pushed them away when...
    EnchantedHopes EnchantedHopes
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 7, 2015

    I'm a survivor, it's what I do.

    Even if I don't want to, if I push someone away it's because I don't trust them. Which means subconsciously I found an angle the person(s) is working and I cut it off before it could affect me. Part of how I cope. I'm used to thinking everyone has an angle anyway so I get a bit...
    Nmetb Nmetb
    22-25, M
    Feb 6

    One day I may ask a psychologist why,

    but in the mean time I will live with my doubts on the origins of the attraction I have towards goodbyes. It repels me as much as it attracts me and perhaps the sense of abandonment and melancholy satisfies the nothing I have in me. Goodbyes are always good options for me...
    LozzyFromRome LozzyFromRome
    46-50, M
    2 Responses Mar 17

    I've chased away anyone who's ever cared about

    me and lately can't stand the face in the mirror
    ArizonaIce24 ArizonaIce24
    16-17, M
    Mar 19

    Even though I'm still

    so young, I've went through more pain than most people go through in their life. My trust has been broken countless times and, with time, of has been ground to powder. Whenever someone tries to get close, I feel like they are going to break me. I say mean things and I always...
    NihilityPO NihilityPO
    13-15, M
    Mar 22

    Its pretty weird that

    why sometimes despite of having countless close people around us...we feel alone and shut them off and feel uncomfortable around them. While on the other hand feel comfortable having a simple start up conversations with strangers!!! May be because strangers just don't pretend...
    Bareen Bareen
    22-25, F
    1 Response Feb 6

    When someone approach me

    or meets me i always seem to come out very brutally honest, more then i sometimes should. This is actually me pushing people backwards so they don't get to close, i don't like that feeling. Feelings of being to close makes me feel like someone is going to hurt me or i'm going...
    deleted deleted
    3 Responses May 29, 2015

    My story is much l like every one else here,

    l'v been pushing everyone away from me; and it's been really easy for me. When people give me unwanted advise, and try to help me. their advise, is only advise. it is ultimately up to me to chose to follow it. And one thing about me Is I will not follow someone who gives good...
    Micheael Micheael
    26-30, M
    2 Responses Feb 12

    I often end up on alone,

    because i don't say things out of fear to be a bad influence or say some ultimate truth that is wrong.
    deleted deleted
    Jan 30

    Even when I felt like i needed to talk to them,

    I am just to scared to say what i need to say. My feelings might just be hurt even more just by misunderstood judgement. When ever i have reached out to people to help me through the problems that i had they would only just end up making me feel worse. Now I don't even know who...
    Onlyoneme18 Onlyoneme18
    18-21, F
    6 Responses Nov 26, 2014

    I have given up on so many people in last one

    year that I loose track of them. But honestly I never felt their lost!! May be that's why I gave up on them cz they were there yet were not(Hypocrites in the mask if friends)
    Bareen Bareen
    22-25, F
    Feb 7

    I do push people away

    and I can't help it. When I feel I'm getting to close to a prson, my first reaction is to pushed them away first before they leave me. I don't want to push them away and I try so hard not to but it happens, then when they are gone I miss them. If you're not my family I'll...
    highlyfavored8000 highlyfavored8000
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Mar 22, 2015

    Double edge sword!!!!

    ! I have prayed and asked for love time and time again. Tonight have I finally had a revelation that I push people away. Guys I really like at the first sign of danger , I sabatoge the relationship to get them out of my life. The truth is Im afraid like a coward and push away...
    h3art4luv h3art4luv
    31-35, F
    1 Response Jan 11

    i fall into a dark place from time to time

    ,but my boyfriend us soo loyal to mii, firm/ unwavering....how lucky am i??
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Mar 18

    I noticed a repetitive pattern of behavior,

    It doesn't even matter if you're family or not. I push away everyone even my own mom my whole life until now. The exception, it's my brother who's also my soul mate. I still remember when we were kids him standing at my door all night waiting for me to allow him to come in. It...
    YuroLychee YuroLychee
    2 Responses Dec 11, 2015

    You say it's love. You say it hurts

    so much. But could it really be love when all you've done from the start is be afraid? The fear of ending up hurt never left your mind. It made you vicious. The fear crept towards your heart until it became cruel. It taught you to strike back, to strike first. It didn't give him...
    heymarie heymarie
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 23, 2015
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jan 26

    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis
    22-25, F
    2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

    I told this girl I liked her

    and it back fired so hard like I just feel dumb for even trying I should of kept my mouth closed but I guess it's better now then later but yet again what's the difference I just feel like ****
    UndeservingA UndeservingA
    16-17, F
    1 Response Nov 8, 2015

    I just have a hard time trusting people.

    I've been screwed over by people who meant the world to me and because of those past experiences I always will keep my guard up.
    AlexisH94 AlexisH94
    18-21, F
    1 Response Nov 24, 2014

    I do that a lot. I push people away

    before I realize that I don't want that. It sucks.
    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx
    18-21, F
    1 Response Jun 3, 2015

    Removed most of my social media.

    Left without telling my best friend. Feels sick but finally I have no one in my life to feel lonely without. Can legitimately feel lonely now. 😐
    ExperiencesAndNotMistakes ExperiencesAndNotMistakes
    18-21, F
    3 Responses Jan 17

    I always think "what if"?

    What if I never pushed that person away? It only takes one person to betray you and you completely change, you learn not to trust and keep your guard up. I always question people and their motives, it honestly scares me when people have pure intentions, it seems too good to be...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Jul 16, 2014

    I have always been good at befriending people

    but have not been able to make long lasting friendships. I think that sometimes I am too caring I guess. I am quite shy but I try to open up to people. It seems like most people get putting of by me being too polite. I guess in this day and age politeness is not appreciated...
    deleted deleted
    1 Response Feb 23

    I'm always getting hurt

    so I can never trust anyone not even my closest friends I keep everything locked up inside I can't trust anyone..
    MyScarsTellAStory2000 MyScarsTellAStory2000
    16-17, F
    2 Responses May 24, 2014

    My level of intelligence varies across times,

    emotions and the person I talk with. It has peaks and dips. A person may see me hitting my peeks and dips and he may find it difficult to believe. For some reasons, some only see my average range and they are my friends whom I'm comfortable to talk to. When I am talking to...
    whyacinth whyacinth
    36-40, F
    Feb 18

    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool
    22-25, F
    1 Response Aug 13, 2013

    And I continue to hate myself

    for pushing them away, because I get super upset over the fact that they don’t try very hard to stay. I’m sorry, please don’t let me push you away.
    ImAlivingParadox ImAlivingParadox
    22-25, F
    3 Responses Jun 22, 2015


    KEPT AT A SAFE DISTANCE. • I am a Maverick; • I like my alone time too much; • I utterly hate hearing babies cry; • I utterly hate hearing small children whine and complain ; • I do not tolerate being contradicted; • I don’t care about my typos of spelling...
    LozzyFromRome LozzyFromRome
    46-50, M
    6 Responses Mar 18

    I'm the type of person who

    when things start going bad, I shut down and shut everyone out while I try to figure everything out by myself. It definitely messes things up a lot of the time but even so I still do it the next time. Ugh!.
    mattywheels25 mattywheels25
    31-35, M
    1 Response Nov 7, 2015
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