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I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,871 People

    Pull.

    I always push. I never have a good reason to push. Things can be going just fine but then I get scared and push. Or the fact that even when things are truly OK, my head won't let me believe it. Thoughts will enter my head, thoughts that will tear myself down and give me some...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10 22-25, F 5 Responses Mar 4, 2014

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    norahcc11 norahcc11 26-30, F May 25

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    When I develop feelings

    for someone, I'm afraid I'm going to get hurt and I take everything they say as them playing a game or something. I push them away when things start to get serious. As if everyone is going to hurt me. I hate feeling like this. I wish I wasn't so guarded.
    nunezquinnad nunezquinnad 18-21, F 3 Responses Jun 22

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    norahcc11 norahcc11 26-30, F May 25

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    The Wall

    I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time.  I'm...
    SooperSarah SooperSarah 22-25, F 7 Responses Oct 2, 2013

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    I just have a hard time trusting people.

    I've been screwed over by people who meant the world to me and because of those past experiences I always will keep my guard up.
    AlexisH94 AlexisH94 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    And I always rationalize it is

    as they don't love me "enough"
    CrazyHippieChick CrazyHippieChick 22-25 2 Responses May 24

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    I'm always getting hurt

    so I can never trust anyone not even my closest friends I keep everything locked up inside I can't trust anyone..
    MyScarsTellAStory2000 MyScarsTellAStory2000 13-15, F 2 Responses May 24, 2014

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    I stopped texting my friends.

    I feel a little guilty. Bella has been texting me non stop to the point she's texted my sisters. She texted me: "What's going on Lauren?" I know it's rude and this shows she cares about me but I just can't. They leave me out of so much I'm sick of it! Part of the depression and...
    LoveisBeautiful5013 LoveisBeautiful5013 18-21, F 3 Responses May 18

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    I wish I didn't because I know I need them in

    my life one way or another, whether it's to be best friends or a potential love interest I guess. I think it's the fact that I'm so scared to get close again because I've been hurt so many times by being close to someone and it all just backfires and I'm not ready for that kind...
    jacithepanda jacithepanda 13-15, F Jun 23

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    swegmoney swegmoney 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 14, 2014

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    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis 22-25, F 2 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    I push people away because I feel I'm not good

    enough. I push people away because I'm scared to let them know the real me. I push people away because I don't want unnecessary attention or the backbiting or the gossips. I push people away, Even when I don't want to.
    Dictatorse Dictatorse 22-25, M 3 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    I push people away because I have no hope

    for myself. I don't believe them when they actually believe in me. I push people away because I don't want they're sympathy but down inside I do, but they're better off without my weight on their shoulders. I push people away because they act like they know what's going on but...
    lportra24 lportra24 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    I don't really know why i push people away

    but I just do. I've never had a boyfriend. Probably because I don't let guys get too close or too comfortable with me. There's this one guy, I kind of like him & he tries constantly to be nice to him , but I'm rude to him & take everything as a joke, even in a serious moment. As...
    amanda856 amanda856 16-17, F Jun 12

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    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    I can't let anyone not

    even my best friends get close to me. I want to so much but old habits are hard to break. I smile everyday and laugh so their happy but I'm so scared from my past I don't want to get anymore. I'm so scared that someone will be that one person to break me. I'm already hanging by...
    Frozensilence Frozensilence 16-17, F Dec 12, 2013

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    You say it's love. You say it hurts

    so much. But could it really be love when all you've done from the start is be afraid? The fear of ending up hurt never left your mind. It made you vicious. The fear crept towards your heart until it became cruel. It taught you to strike back, to strike first. It didn't give him...
    heymarie heymarie 18-21, F Jun 23

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    I do that a lot. I push people away

    before I realize that I don't want that. It sucks.
    BrokenBabygirlx BrokenBabygirlx 18-21, F 2 Responses Jun 3

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    it just makes it easier

    for them. I don't want people to miss me because I have "plans" so it keeps them from hurting
    boredgirl02 boredgirl02 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    First off I will start by saying- 1) I am a

    very Conscious person 2) I have strong ethics 3) I care about finding answers to my problems and like helping others with there's - if asked. 4) I enjoy helping others and reciprocating the kindness others show and I hope to do the same 5) please excuse grammatical errors...
    nsight nsight 46-50, F 1 Response Jul 1

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    I don't get why do I keep pushing people way I

    mean I want friends in this new town and when I'm about to make friends I ignore the person like garbage I don't want to do this I hate hurting other but I just don't know how to stop this
    Didi33 Didi33 18-21, F Feb 5

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    Even when I felt like i needed to talk to them,

    I am just to scared to say what i need to say. My feelings might just be hurt even more just by misunderstood judgement. When ever i have reached out to people to help me through the problems that i had they would only just end up making me feel worse. Now I don't even know who...
    Onlyoneme18 Onlyoneme18 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    Being without a job and without anything to do

    since June, the isolation tends to make me feel as if I am alone and freaky, since I physically have no place to work that puts me in the presence of coworkers and acquaintances. It would be nice if I had people who were okay with my financial dependency on parents and some...
    WayOfDominique WayOfDominique 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    I can't help it; I dislike being around other

    people in general. Besides, once they got to know me, they probably wouldn't like being around me either. ;-;
    misanthropicpessimist misanthropicpessimist 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    It is easier to have people at a distance

    than to let them get close and hurt you. Easier to push them away than to tell them the truth
    Harper101 Harper101 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    I'm not sure what's started it.

    Every time I sense someone getting close to me I immediately push them away unless it's a very rare occasion. I keep playing these sick games with myself and other people. It's like there's an indescribable force that makes me want what I don't have, as soon as I've got them...
    shygyal30 shygyal30 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 10

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    I used to be really bad about it.

    As time went on and I got older, I began to realize that I do need support from people; pushing help away was stupid of me. I never go asking for help, but I'm smart enough to realize when I cannot do something on my own. We as humans need to help one another, and while some...
    quietfighter quietfighter 18-21, M 1 Response May 25

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    Whenever anyone gets too close to me I find

    ways to push them away. I build a wall around myself to keep them from getting closer and I distance myself from them in an attempt to make them go away. The twisted thing is I want someone to push back. I want someone that will push back and not let me push them away.
    curiousgirl1214 curiousgirl1214 26-30, F 4 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    I disappointed him. I tried to run

    and in doing so, I lied... I feel awful about it. I need to be more open and let him in. I know this now. I know it hurt him. I've learned how important it is for me to work on opening up. Letting him in. Trying harder.
    May2407 May2407 26-30, F 2 Responses May 28

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    I always think "what if"?

    What if I never pushed that person away? It only takes one person to betray you and you completely change, you learn not to trust and keep your guard up. I always question people and their motives, it honestly scares me when people have pure intentions, it seems too good to be...
    firefliess firefliess 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    SgtWalrus SgtWalrus 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    I just keep ******* screaming

    and screaming at him and I know he's just seething waiting for the perfect opportunity to get away from me. he just doesn't want me to hurt myself and blame him or get him in some sort of trouble. idk why he even bothers to call me we don't even talk. he bullshits me all the...
    justtellinthetruth justtellinthetruth 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 14

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    I do push people away

    and I can't help it. When I feel I'm getting to close to a prson, my first reaction is to pushed them away first before they leave me. I don't want to push them away and I try so hard not to but it happens, then when they are gone I miss them. If you're not my family I'll...
    highlyfavored8000 highlyfavored8000 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 22

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    I hope later down the road,

    if we meet again, and we're older, and we've done things with our lives, that we just sit down together and have a drink. You were very special to me... And I know you are with people you love and care about and you need them to tell you that.. The words just could not escape my...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26, 2014

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    I do this because I'm afraid to get close to

    people, Because I don't want hurt again
    taid2000 taid2000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    I push people away for many reasons; I find

    that when I meet someone I talk to them for a bit and we get to know each other and then I push them away. In my head, if a person will resist this and continue to try then they are likely to be a good genuine friend and as a result our friendship strengthens. sometimes, I...
    Lostinabigscaryworld Lostinabigscaryworld 18-21, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    I don't want to blame anyone

    for my choices and behaviour overall I simply want to find the cause of what's happening to me or how I can help myself. People are constantly telling me that I am paranoid but I do not think so. I had issues with my mom and we are not in frequent contact We talk mabe...
    kimberlee1876 kimberlee1876 22-25, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    It seems that way lately.

    I'm feeling fine today, but I know I have a lot to work through. I've considered keeping my emotions to myself, but anyone who knows me can see right through me. So, how can I manage? Don't want to lose anyone.
    blindangel92 blindangel92 22-25, F Apr 20

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    Well I did it again I keep doing it

    and I don't understand why. Every person that gets close to me I wait a while feel really strong about them then push them away . I am so depressed Tim is really gone this time we talked last night for hours and then I did it push push and he gave in and said he didn't want to...
    monica0215 monica0215 51-55, F 1 Response May 19

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    There are numerous older men in the world

    who are single and seeking someone special in their life. For all such men, AgeMeet.com has been created as a reliable online platform to find women for dating and companionship. The spokesperson reports that many older men have started finding perfect companions through their...
    susancc12 susancc12 26-30, F Jul 13

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    I am terrible when it comes to pushing people

    away with hurtful words because I am angry or upset. I don't think about what I said until after I see the hurt in their eyes.. especially when it's my fiance
    emotionalmommy emotionalmommy 22-25, F May 29

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    Eh I often want to push most people away lately.

    It's not that I don't want anyone to get close it's just I look around at all those around me and I know they won't be here long so why bother?
    ZacharyGray19 ZacharyGray19 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 27

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