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I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 6,740 People

    I am not good for you.

    i will only bring you down. And that I why I let you go.
    ithzelhernandez ithzelhernandez 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 8

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    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10 18-21, F 8 Responses Mar 4

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    Pull.

    I always push. I never have a good reason to push. Things can be going just fine but then I get scared and push. Or the fact that even when things are truly OK, my head won't let me believe it. Thoughts will enter my head, thoughts that will tear myself down and give me some...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Dec 30, 2012

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    Every time I'm sad and feel like something

    stupid, I want to tell my boyfriend about it because he told me I should but then at the same time, I don't want him to know. He says he won't judge and that he'll understand and try to help me, but I don't believe him. I've tried trusting people with stuff like this before but...
    Kay8712 Kay8712 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 29

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    DiosesOscuros DiosesOscuros 22-25, M Mar 6

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    At times I just don't feel like being

    surrounded by anyone. I know i can lose people in my life faster that way. I don't do it intentionally.. I do it because I actually have my reasons. I guess i am just thankful for those who understand and still stick around. I'm just worry that I'll someday lose them too..
    TearfulNights22 TearfulNights22 22-25, F 2 Responses Apr 3

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    I push people away, even

    when I don't want to. I have always had a terrible habit of pushing people away, its something that I have been doing for years, its how I protect myself, its how I keep myself safe. Its how I deal with whatever issue I am having. I am not use to having someone who is going to...
    NYSlilAngel NYSlilAngel 26-30, F 1 Response Mar 16

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    I rather be the one to end things

    than to be the one getting ended so I just stop talking to people from time to time, especially when I date guys I usually get bored and peace out a week after we kiss anybody else do that?
    genesisperez genesisperez 13-15, F 1 Response Jan 17

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    Being without a job and without anything to do

    since June, the isolation tends to make me feel as if I am alone and freaky, since I physically have no place to work that puts me in the presence of coworkers and acquaintances. It would be nice if I had people who were okay with my financial dependency on parents and some...
    WayOfDominique WayOfDominique 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    I push them away because I fear

    that I'll end up hurting them!!
    Collette70 Collette70 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I'm not feeling great today.

    What's worse is that I'm acting up. I'm anxious, frustrated, I am worried about money and I'm still suffering from the dull sickening ache of pmt. My personality disorder is all to high and mighty today, and it's making feel like I should be alone but at the same time I feel...
    sumsmit sumsmit 26-30 1 Response Mar 25

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    All the flipping time!

    !!!! Why?!?!? I don't know......i just do.....i hate it
    ManMadeBoy ManMadeBoy 16-17, M 2 Responses Mar 9

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    So I've never really felt like I could connect

    with anyone at all, I'm 17 and I have no friends at all, but it's my fault that no one wants to speak to me because I push everyone away due to having social anxiety. it's hard for me to go out and talk to people, it's ruined my life, most of my anxiety has come from how I look...
    leahmusic96 leahmusic96 16-17, F 4 Responses Apr 13

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    When something good comes along,

    I don't recognize it, so I push it away. And I run after all of the bad things that I shouldn't be going after. It's frustrating. But I'm slowly learning.
    Philli8807 Philli8807 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 24

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    I don't do it intentionally.

    Sometimes if I'm in a rut, I keep to myself and leave others alone. Its a fault I have, but no one's perfect. I rather dwell and deal with my own issues then bother anyone with venting. I guess it feels better that way. My train of thought has always been "Nobody likes a negatve...
    BobFrost BobFrost 36-40, M 2 Responses 1 day ago

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    I'm trying very hard to trust people again

    and to be able to break down some of my walls and reservations.
    katierose23 katierose23 13-15, F 2 Responses Jan 28

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    Lonley

    I don't know why I just cant let someone love me. I guess its cause I don't even love myself. I've only loved one guy. He cared about me, He knew everything about me, He helped me when I was in my darkest days. Now hes gone because I pushed him away. I didn't want to but for some...
    BabyJ326 BabyJ326 16-17, F 2 Responses Oct 12, 2013

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    I Do It Unintentionally

    I don't want to push people away but whenever i am hurt. I just want to disappear, not talk to anyone and be on my own. In the process i cut off all the people from my life. I know that i need time alone to deal with the situation. I've realized that it effects the people...
    lazyangel lazyangel 22-25, M 2 Responses Feb 3, 2012

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    Bad behavoir,don't no,

    my style,can't change it.
    blackweirdcat blackweirdcat 46-50, F Mar 16

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    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 9

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    It Comes So Easy.

    Just finished a text conversation with someone I just met on craigslist. She answered my ad. We texted for a bit, and then I realized I'm miserable when I'm single, and I'm even more miserable when I'm in a relationship. I just blocked two people on facebook. Two people I've...
    bahawk79 bahawk79 31-35, M 3 Responses Feb 19, 2013

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    Constantly. Doing it.

    I feel empty afterwards, but safer. Sometimes with a smile on my face that's says, "no really, I'm okay, and I hope you are too..." It keeps them from coming back. Life is complicated. It doesn't have to be, but it is. I wrote this when I was a teenager :: "Beautiful...
    thislittlejourney thislittlejourney 26-30, F 2 Responses 4 days ago

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    Is so bad to want someone to push back

    and not just slowly go away?
    trrrrrrouble trrrrrrouble 18-21, F 1 day ago

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    I guess it's become a subconscious thing now.

    Since I've isolated myself from both friends and family I tend to push people away involuntarily. After some years of abuse and neglect I see no reason to get close to people. Sometimes I think it's a good thing because trusting others can be very foolish. Maybe I was meant to...
    MadamSinwell MadamSinwell 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 24

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    I push my boyfriend away every time he gets

    close to me. I love him very much but I feel like if I give myself to him he is just going to hurt me in the end.
    princesskatara princesskatara 22-25, F 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    The Wall

    I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time.  I'm...
    SooperSarah SooperSarah 22-25, F 9 Responses Oct 2, 2013

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    I find myself unknowingly pushing people away

    out of fear of rejection. How do I stop?
    shaunrain shaunrain 16-17, M 1 Response Mar 17

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    I Don't Know How To Fix It

     My therapist says it stems from being an ACA and abandonment issues. She's right, when I find that I care about someone, I feel obligated to be whatever that person needs (so long as it doesn't compromise my values). Then I proceed to screw it up. Say something or do...
    ArabellaBlythe ArabellaBlythe 18-21, F 11 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    Alone

    I think I'm supposed to be alone.
    FallenAngelWOOT FallenAngelWOOT 31-35, F 8 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    I do this unknowingly some times.

    It's really hard for me to let people into my life when I'm in pain. My pain is messy and to let others see that mess is what I have a hard time letting go of. I know I'm not perfect and I will make mistakes, but when I'm in pain I tend to push everyone out - ESPECIALLY those...
    rebrat91 rebrat91 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 17

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    My defense mechanism

    when I feel myself getting too close to someone, or the other way around. It scares me so I act like a complete a**hole so they'll go away..
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 16-17, F 3 Responses Jan 1

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    ♫ "If I let you in you'll just want out.

    ..if you follow me you'll only get lost...if you try to get closer we'll only lose touch, you already know to much..don't go..." ♫
    RadRen RadRen 22-25, F 1 Response Mar 31

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    I'm thinking of doing

    so again. I just got too attatched to someone, hate that I do that,because I think that person doesn't feel the same as I do at times, and its safer to just push away, and be a little more cold in hopes that they leave since I'm so f.ucked up anyway.I know I won't be missed...
    RadRen RadRen 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 23

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    I can't let anyone not

    even my best friends get close to me. I want to so much but old habits are hard to break. I smile everyday and laugh so their happy but I'm so scared from my past I don't want to get anymore. I'm so scared that someone will be that one person to break me. I'm already hanging by...
    Frozensilence Frozensilence 16-17, F Dec 12, 2013

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    I pushed my Ex girlfriend away from

    because I loved her so much, I was scared to be in love with her. I told her we had to let go of eachother but she didn't want to. And she told me I broke her heart... I love her but I had to let her go 💔
    iamj iamj 13-15, F Apr 10

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    My husband told me last night

    that I don't make him feel like the man of the house and therefore he's having a hard time treating me like a lady and taking care of me the way a man should. He says I'm always to confrontational as if I want to dominate and wear the pants in the relationship. Only time I am...
    InnaBinna InnaBinna 22-25, F 2 Responses Feb 3

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    ... And I Do With...

    ... negativity, alchohol, choice of conversation, and just social ineptitude.  I have wouldn't even know it but for my wife.  Who had resisted all of my attempts to push her away.  And that's why she is my wife. 
    KatzNYammer KatzNYammer 61-65, M Dec 25, 2011

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    I don't want to ever get hurt again,

    so I hurt the people I love and make them hate me... so they have no choice but to leave me and in turn this just hurts me more. I don't know how to not push people away. blah. I don't know how to not push people away. I don't know how let anybody in.
    H3lt3rSk3lt3r H3lt3rSk3lt3r 18-21, F 2 Responses Jan 12

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    Why is trusting someone

    so hard to do? Its a bit like loaning someone something very expensive... when you give it, you think, "Surely this person will take care of it! I trust them!" ... While they have it, when you don't see it... you just want it back. But nothing is ever truly given or lost...
    thislittlejourney thislittlejourney 26-30, F 2 Responses Mar 24

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    I'm currently doing this.

    I'm pushing my boyfriend away in an attempt to boost my confidence but at the same time I want to stop to make our relationship easier. I'm caught between either lying to him and never speaking about when I'm sad and putting strain on him to make things better. He tells me that...
    ArianaChaCha ArianaChaCha 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    I do this alot because I value my independence

    and freedom. I also have trust issues which makes it difficult to get close to me, I wear my heart on my sleeve though... I am aware I need to protect my feelings but still I act like an open book... When I feel vulnerable I try to create distance...people who know me know I am...
    LilRedd10 LilRedd10 36-40, F 1 Response Dec 30, 2013

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    I am writing this experience

    because of the guilt, shame, and pain I feel about pushing someone away... If you can relate to this, please comment... I could use your support... I started off work thinking I will not make friends. What happens I make a friend, one I know would be a close friend, a guy...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 1 Response Apr 8

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    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool 18-21, F 5 Responses Aug 13, 2013

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    When I was around four my sister's father did

    terrible things to me, and I always thought it was my fault it happened because my mom didn't seem to think anything had actually happened. When I was 11 it started happening with my fathers friend who was staying at our house and I didn't say anything because my father had a...
    CraizeeKitten CraizeeKitten 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 9

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    I did so last night, towards my family.

    I tuned them out and just rushed through the dinner, I just wanted to get home. I just wanted to be alone, so I didnt have to see how hard they were trying to care for me, and in a way want to be alone so they wouldnt have to petend, and save them from me.
    RadRen RadRen 22-25, F 1 Response Feb 3

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    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    LillyRaven LillyRaven 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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    I don't want to do it.

    But I do it anyway. I can't let people get close to me. So any time I feel a connection to someone, even a new friendship, I push them away. I let my insecurities take a hold of my thoughts and begin to question why they would ever want to be my friend... I know I am not...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M Mar 5

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    Ever since this girl first walked into our

    school for the first time, I couldn't take my eyes off her, and I know I probably wasn't the only one gazing at her beauty. Through my mind I was thinking "you know what, I'm gonna try to talk to her, I need to man up, I need to know how to talk to a girl and here's my first...
    elugo123456789 elugo123456789 18-21, M 1 Response Apr 3

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    I Need You

    I pushed you away to keep you safe from hurting further.I broke your heart to make you hate me otherwise you wouldn't give up and leave.I need you in my life and miss you but I know you will not forgive me.I have lost you forever.
    memoriescargo memoriescargo 70+ 2 Responses Apr 10, 2012

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    I find myself Push people away from me

    when they get to close I fear of getting hurt.
    Robs83 Robs83 26-30, M 6 hrs ago

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    I always want someone to show they care

    but im use to nobody ever caring so when they ask whats wrong or something i always say nothing is wrong or "im fine" i just wish i could stop that
    stevenmonroe stevenmonroe 16-17, M 1 Response 1 day ago

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    Related Experiences

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    FaintSmile FaintSmile 22-25, F Apr 9

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    Hurt people hurt. So when im feeling like that. I do. "Push, kick", you name it l.(Not literary off course) Its wierd but thats when I need people more but dont want to feel...
    Quanitta Quanitta 26-30, F 3 days ago

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    I just want to be alone at that time and sometimes I do it without noticing.
    DangerouslyMe DangerouslyMe 13-15, F 1 Response 3 days ago

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    I hear their voices Asking me to talk to them Why can't I tell them What I feel I want to be alone I want to forget the pain But with them here I dont know What to do Should I...
    ShortLove1 ShortLove1 16-17, F Apr 3

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