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I Push People Away Even When I Dont Want to

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 8,431 People

    Pushing away my bestfriend,

    my childhood friend has been hard. I almost can't believe I just did that. I haven't felt anything for a long time, till now. My cheeks are burning, my throat feels dry and my heart hurts. My head is playing memories of me and her laughing so much and having fun. "Why are we...
    AviatorHH AviatorHH 18-21, F Feb 1

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    I push people away because i'm tired of people

    judging me and feeling sorry for me. When i try to open up to some one its hard since i almost never do it yet when i do i feel i annoy them. Even when i don't want to it some how comes 'naturally' because i have gotten use to it.
    yiyaa yiyaa 16-17 1 Response Jan 30

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    Younger women dating older men mainly

    because younger women are attracted older men. older men mature, confident, stable .Mature guys always know how to treat their women.These younger women are looking for their age gap love romance.For older men, Younger women older men relationships will surely make an older man...
    minnieccaa minnieccaa 26-30, F Jan 19

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    I feel like I isolate myself

    because I end up caring too much. Friendships, relationships, etc. they all end sadly in my case. I contradict myself because I want to have close meaningful relationships but at the same time I don't wanna get hurt. When I feel myself caring too much I kinda retreat into my own...
    FireQueen10 FireQueen10 22-25, F 6 Responses Mar 4, 2014

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    Younger women dating older men mainly

    because younger women are attracted older men. older men mature, confident, stable .Mature guys always know how to treat their women.These younger women are looking for their age gap love romance.For older men, Younger women older men relationships will surely make an older man...
    minnieccaa minnieccaa 26-30, F Jan 19

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    i cant seem to let go of all the bad my bf the

    father of my 2kids has done,so i tend to let that anger come between the little love thats left for him,
    cynR1993 cynR1993 18-21, F Jan 19

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    Whenever I have a problem

    and someone try's to talk to me about it I shut down and push them away I don't mean to I'm just scared I feel like no one really cares idk how to fix this problem and I know if I keep doing it I'm going to loose the people I love most
    Youareallbeautiful Youareallbeautiful 18-21, F 3 Responses Nov 29, 2014

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    Goodbye My Light

    Apologies whisper behind my lips. Memories ring inside my head. The pain, the loss, the tears. Dancing with my heart, many do. Light fingertips turn to blades. I let go. So, I've blown out my light. So warm and bright. Lighting my way in the shadows. Crackling peacefully...
    SgtWalrus SgtWalrus 22-25, F 4 Responses Sep 13, 2013

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    ClaireH19 ClaireH19 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 24, 2014

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    Have you ever stopped something from happening,

    cause you felt like it was a mistake later realizing that you screwed up everything?
    Mak2396 Mak2396 13-15, F Mar 29

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    I hope later down the road,

    if we meet again, and we're older, and we've done things with our lives, that we just sit down together and have a drink. You were very special to me... And I know you are with people you love and care about and you need them to tell you that.. The words just could not escape my...
    Shoutittotheworld23 Shoutittotheworld23 26-30, M 3 Responses May 26, 2014

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    I Need You

    I want to tell you how I feel. I know that you would understand. I know that you could help me but I just can't seem to get it out.  Rather I watch myself avoid your hugs and tell you I am fine; When actually I feel like I am burning to...
    deleted deleted 26-30 4 Responses Sep 1, 2009

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    Younger women dating older men mainly

    because younger women are attracted older men. older men mature, confident, stable .Mature guys always know how to treat their women.These younger women are looking for their age gap love romance.For older men, Younger women older men relationships will surely make an older man...
    minnieccaa minnieccaa 26-30, F Jan 19

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    I do push people away

    and I can't help it. When I feel I'm getting to close to a prson, my first reaction is to pushed them away first before they leave me. I don't want to push them away and I try so hard not to but it happens, then when they are gone I miss them. If you're not my family I'll...
    highlyfavored8000 highlyfavored8000 18-21, F 5 Responses Mar 22

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    I Am My Own Worst Enemy.

    I don't understand why I do this, I don't mean to. I cannot help but push people away. I want to let people in and get close, have a loving group of friends and talk and just I don't know, feel normal. But something always does this, it pushes people I love away as well. It is...
    AreYouMadCool AreYouMadCool 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 13, 2013

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    I push people away because I feel I'm not good

    enough. I push people away because I'm scared to let them know the real me. I push people away because I don't want unnecessary attention or the backbiting or the gossips. I push people away, Even when I don't want to.
    Dictatorse Dictatorse 22-25, M 2 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I Don't Know How To Fix It

     My therapist says it stems from being an ACA and abandonment issues. She's right, when I find that I care about someone, I feel obligated to be whatever that person needs (so long as it doesn't compromise my values). Then I proceed to screw it up. Say something or do...
    ArabellaBlythe ArabellaBlythe 22-25, F 12 Responses Oct 10, 2009

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    Of all the ways that women often react to inner

    panic, SHUT DOWN is my primary reaction; just plain disconnection. If something happens that upsets me, or when someone says or does something that I dislike or disagree with, my first response can go something like this: "Uh oh, that was upsetting! I'm starting to feel mad...It...
    stiltcourt stiltcourt 41-45, F 3 Responses Feb 25

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    I always think "what if"?

    What if I never pushed that person away? It only takes one person to betray you and you completely change, you learn not to trust and keep your guard up. I always question people and their motives, it honestly scares me when people have pure intentions, it seems too good to be...
    mystiquebeauty mystiquebeauty 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 16, 2014

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    Anytime I even make new friends I just push

    and push..it's not until someone really stops and pushes back that I try and not push. I know a lot of people but no one knows me
    Janstis Janstis 22-25, F 3 Responses Mar 9, 2014

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    It's always the people close to me.

    like my family. All the stuff I hear about 'family being all you have at the end of the day' may be true to a certain extent but to me it's a load of crap. My parents always want to be there for others instead of their own child. It's an emotional roller coaster. I'll be fine...
    DarkGoddesss DarkGoddesss 18-21, F 4 Responses Mar 19

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    Alone

    I think I'm supposed to be alone.
    FallenAngelWOOT FallenAngelWOOT 31-35, F 7 Responses Feb 25, 2013

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    Being without a job and without anything to do

    since June, the isolation tends to make me feel as if I am alone and freaky, since I physically have no place to work that puts me in the presence of coworkers and acquaintances. It would be nice if I had people who were okay with my financial dependency on parents and some...
    WayOfDominique WayOfDominique 36-40, M 4 Responses Dec 14, 2013

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    Lately I've just felt like dying I don't want

    to take my life but I wish I would fall asleep and never wake up so going through this people around and what's going on around me doesn't matter to me my sister well Both sisters and parents are trying to get me a date for prom I don't even want to go to prom I've always...
    Dalia4ever Dalia4ever 16-17, F 3 Responses Mar 29

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    When I choose not to.

    I have a fortress of solitude and I am comfortable in my monotonous solitude.
    Minimes Minimes 31-35, F Jan 22

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    I always feel like a joke is being pulled

    when something good happens, and I just can't let anyone in without them destroying me.
    beautifulxxsoulxx beautifulxxsoulxx 18-21, F Jan 19

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    So my therapist told me

    that I need to not push people away when I get scared. Oops, guess I am still afraid of commitment.
    berrecks berrecks 16-17, F 1 Response Mar 11

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    it just makes it easier

    for them. I don't want people to miss me because I have "plans" so it keeps them from hurting
    boredgirl02 boredgirl02 13-15, F 1 Response Mar 30

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    Even when I felt like i needed to talk to them,

    I am just to scared to say what i need to say. My feelings might just be hurt even more just by misunderstood judgement. When ever i have reached out to people to help me through the problems that i had they would only just end up making me feel worse. Now I don't even know who...
    Onlyoneme18 Onlyoneme18 18-21, F 6 Responses Nov 26, 2014

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    I push people away because I have no hope

    for myself. I don't believe them when they actually believe in me. I push people away because I don't want they're sympathy but down inside I do, but they're better off without my weight on their shoulders. I push people away because they act like they know what's going on but...
    lportra24 lportra24 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 8, 2014

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    He pulled the covers over her naked,

    sleeping body. She seemed at peace with herself he thought as he brushed the hair from her face. In the corner a candle flickered, sending dancing shadows around the bedroom. It had been an eventful night, one that he hadn't planned for. Stepping silently into his trousers he...
    deleted deleted 26-30 3 Responses Jul 24, 2014

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    They think I snapped at them

    for attention but, I pushed them away and now they pushed me further from them....what do I do??????!!!....
    nomnommings nomnommings 16-17, F 2 Responses Feb 18

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    The Wall

    I've recently figured that I don't push people away. I pretty much drive them away.  What I'm noticing is that I keep people at arm's length.  Apparently this is something everyone has major issues with.  Which is a whole different novel for a whole different time.  I'm...
    SooperSarah SooperSarah 22-25, F 7 Responses Oct 2, 2013

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    I really need to stop pushing people away.

    .. Like not everyone is bad. Not everybody is going to disappoint you or let you down. Not everyone wants just something from you. Not everyone is going to hurt you, right? People deserve a chance, but I'm scared of giving them that chance and ending up feeling empty/disappointed...
    UNDecodable UNDecodable 18-21, F 3 Responses Mar 20

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    It is easier to have people at a distance

    than to let them get close and hurt you. Easier to push them away than to tell them the truth
    Harper101 Harper101 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 9

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    Whenever anyone gets too close to me I find

    ways to push them away. I build a wall around myself to keep them from getting closer and I distance myself from them in an attempt to make them go away. The twisted thing is I want someone to push back. I want someone that will push back and not let me push them away.
    curiousgirl1214 curiousgirl1214 26-30, F 5 Responses Jun 29, 2014

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    I don't want to blame anyone

    for my choices and behaviour overall I simply want to find the cause of what's happening to me or how I can help myself. People are constantly telling me that I am paranoid but I do not think so. I had issues with my mom and we are not in frequent contact We talk mabe...
    kimberlee1876 kimberlee1876 22-25, F Apr 9

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    I've done this as a way of protecting my

    feelings, I am getting better at expressing
    ElissaAcosta ElissaAcosta 18-21, F 1 Response Jan 19

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    I don't get why do I keep pushing people way I

    mean I want friends in this new town and when I'm about to make friends I ignore the person like garbage I don't want to do this I hate hurting other but I just don't know how to stop this
    Didi33 Didi33 18-21, F Feb 5

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    It seems that way lately.

    I'm feeling fine today, but I know I have a lot to work through. I've considered keeping my emotions to myself, but anyone who knows me can see right through me. So, how can I manage? Don't want to lose anyone.
    blindangel92 blindangel92 22-25, F a week ago

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    swegmoney swegmoney 16-17, F 2 Responses Jun 14, 2014

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    If you began to know the muti faceted mess

    that makes me you may began to dislike the same elements about myself as I..... everything.
    2lil2L8 2lil2L8 26-30, F 1 Response Feb 26

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    I do this because I'm afraid to get close to

    people, Because I don't want hurt again
    taid2000 taid2000 13-15, F 2 Responses Nov 25, 2014

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    Have you ever been so in love with a person

    that you can't even face them when you have to part for awhile? When you look at them, you know that they're leaving. The thought of it hurts. It hurts so much that when you look at them, they will see deep sorrow on your face. You want to tell them not to go. You're fine until...
    sweetice007 sweetice007 18-21, F Feb 1

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    joeflowrow joeflowrow 18-21, F 2 Responses Mar 10

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    I Need You

    I pushed you away to keep you safe from hurting further.I broke your heart to make you hate me otherwise you wouldn't give up and leave.I need you in my life and miss you but I know you will not forgive me.I have lost you forever.
    memoriescargo memoriescargo 66-70 2 Responses Apr 10, 2012

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