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I Really Need to Be More Assertive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 114 People

    Well So I'm Told!

    Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't say no it's just that I hate to disappoint people and if i really don't mind and what is being asked is within my power than I don't see a reason to deny a person their wish.  I'm constantly being told by those closest to me that i...
    teeny09 teeny09 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2011

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    "Sacrificial"

    I'm finding out that my close friends think I sacrifice all the time. I'm always the one who takes the floor when there aren't enough beds, the one who takes the end seat in the movie theater 87% of the time, the one who gives up too easily. I didn't realize this until they...
    awkwardlighting awkwardlighting 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    Too Nice?

    In nearly every relationship I've been in, I was so devoted, so kind, and giving but I would up getting cheated on, getting very hurt emotionally, and alone. Was it that I always chose the wrong person or that I haven't been as strong as I should and need to take control?
    Chucklesh Chucklesh 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I'm always that person

    that is there for you, even if we don't like each other.. I'm always the friend that gets everyone's **** when they want to blow off steam. I'm not the chew toy, and I'm not a waste of space either. I want someone to help me LITERALLY and guide me to become braver than what I am...
    pandasixteen pandasixteen 18-21, F May 13

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    A Story I've Read In A Book About Assertiveness

    I've read a story in a book about a man who wasn't assertive at all when he was younger. I think his mother was an alcoholic and punched him or something. He didn't fight back. I think he thought of himself as weak, as did his peers. He went to "shadow work therapy" (the book...
    AmIAMaleHSP AmIAMaleHSP 26-30, M Aug 20, 2012

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    You Have

    The right to decide how to lead your life. This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams and establishing your own priorities. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions -- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of...
    redman redman 46-50, M 7 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    In Telling People When They Hurt Me....

    At the moment I feel I am letting people get away with hurting me and that makes me feel angry with myself. I really do need to be more assertive and stand my ground with people. I always put others before myself and it leaves me feeling resentful and hurt. My mother is the worst...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    What Is It.....

    Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication which is self-enhancing and expressive. Acting assertively will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally...
    redman redman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    I Wish...

    I really suck at saying no. I put myself way over my head because I can't say no or stand up for myself as much as I'd like to. When something happens I can't think of what to say until after the situation is over, then I think of it and kick myself. I want to stand up for...
    sterlingsinner sterlingsinner 22-25 1 Response Mar 30, 2009

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    Related Experiences

    I am quite a timid person sometimes, but I'm learning to be more confident within myself and to be more assertive! Because you can't get what you want if you don't make the move to...
    Seblett Seblett 13-15, F Sep 6

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    Lets just say the title of the experience doesn't justify how badly I really need friends. Im 21 and living with my boyfriend, whom I live a life of almost zero sex with. I...
    MissCaraCarnageTheGamingGambit MissCaraCarnageTheGamingGambit 18-21, F 8 Responses Aug 27

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    I love my husband but he's not romantic. I know he loves me but I wish he wanted to do things for me without anything in it for him. Sometimes I just feel like his maid, cook, womb...
    marriedtomrunromantic marriedtomrunromantic 26-30 2 days ago

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    hi, i'm angel summers i'm 25 and i live in bristol. my younger sister (14) has cancer and has always wanted a younger brother or sister, but my mum is too old to have a baby and...
    chick1989 chick1989 22-25, F 3 Responses Sep 2

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    It's 6:30am once again, since at least friday i have NEVER slept before 6am .. I really need to fix my sleep cycle or however u call it aaand to start working or something or fix...
    stonedalone stonedalone 18-21, F Aug 26

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    I need more like now!!!! I only have 3 cuz all of them r gone so they said we can't be friends anymore and only 3 left to and didn't say that so plz I need more!!!
    Strangerdanger47 Strangerdanger47 16-17, F 4 Responses Sep 7

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    But it's very hard to achieve. Life, work, kids, chores, sleep...why is something that is so absolutely needed so hard to get to? I don't mind quick interactions but not only. I...
    AN76 AN76 36-40, F 5 Responses a week ago

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    I really need one right now. Some crazy **** happened and my life is ****** now.
    claasic claasic 31-35, M 1 Response Aug 30

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    I need more male friends I only have 4 and I have like 15 female friends, so yea I'm st8 ok, but yea
    dominick6 dominick6 13-15, M Sep 2

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    so i want friends who the play ps3 gta5:) i have like 5 friends i need more :) i don't want to have girlfriend i want friends :) so can u be my friend plz :)
    hmkspain hmkspain 16-17, M Sep 3

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    I really need a friend that's a girl.... I grew up around guys sooooo all I have is guy friends. Boyfriend doesn't like it too much. Plus it's kinda good to get second opinions.
    crazygirl365 crazygirl365 18-21, F 1 Response Sep 4

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    I really need someone to talk to please, I just went through a terrible break up and now I'm so lonely that I feel like I don't exist in the world I feel like a ghost with no soul...
    Hutch55 Hutch55 16-17, M 3 Responses 1 day ago

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