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I Really Need to Be More Assertive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 116 People

    Too Nice?

    In nearly every relationship I've been in, I was so devoted, so kind, and giving but I would up getting cheated on, getting very hurt emotionally, and alone. Was it that I always chose the wrong person or that I haven't been as strong as I should and need to take control?
    Chucklesh Chucklesh 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    Well So I'm Told!

    Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't say no it's just that I hate to disappoint people and if i really don't mind and what is being asked is within my power than I don't see a reason to deny a person their wish.  I'm constantly being told by those closest to me that i...
    teeny09 teeny09 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2011

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    A Story I've Read In A Book About Assertiveness

    I've read a story in a book about a man who wasn't assertive at all when he was younger. I think his mother was an alcoholic and punched him or something. He didn't fight back. I think he thought of himself as weak, as did his peers. He went to "shadow work therapy" (the book...
    AmIAMaleHSP AmIAMaleHSP 26-30, M Aug 20, 2012

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    I Wish...

    I really suck at saying no. I put myself way over my head because I can't say no or stand up for myself as much as I'd like to. When something happens I can't think of what to say until after the situation is over, then I think of it and kick myself. I want to stand up for...
    sterlingsinner sterlingsinner 22-25 1 Response Mar 30, 2009

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    I'm always that person

    that is there for you, even if we don't like each other.. I'm always the friend that gets everyone's **** when they want to blow off steam. I'm not the chew toy, and I'm not a waste of space either. I want someone to help me LITERALLY and guide me to become braver than what I am...
    pandasixteen pandasixteen 18-21, F May 13

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    You Have

    The right to decide how to lead your life. This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams and establishing your own priorities. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions -- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of...
    redman redman 46-50, M 7 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    In Telling People When They Hurt Me....

    At the moment I feel I am letting people get away with hurting me and that makes me feel angry with myself. I really do need to be more assertive and stand my ground with people. I always put others before myself and it leaves me feeling resentful and hurt. My mother is the worst...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    "Sacrificial"

    I'm finding out that my close friends think I sacrifice all the time. I'm always the one who takes the floor when there aren't enough beds, the one who takes the end seat in the movie theater 87% of the time, the one who gives up too easily. I didn't realize this until they...
    awkwardlighting awkwardlighting 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    What Is It.....

    Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication which is self-enhancing and expressive. Acting assertively will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally...
    redman redman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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