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I Really Need to Be More Assertive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 115 People

    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    Well So I'm Told!

    Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't say no it's just that I hate to disappoint people and if i really don't mind and what is being asked is within my power than I don't see a reason to deny a person their wish.  I'm constantly being told by those closest to me that i...
    teeny09 teeny09 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2011

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    A Story I've Read In A Book About Assertiveness

    I've read a story in a book about a man who wasn't assertive at all when he was younger. I think his mother was an alcoholic and punched him or something. He didn't fight back. I think he thought of himself as weak, as did his peers. He went to "shadow work therapy" (the book...
    AmIAMaleHSP AmIAMaleHSP 26-30, M Aug 20, 2012

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    I Wish...

    I really suck at saying no. I put myself way over my head because I can't say no or stand up for myself as much as I'd like to. When something happens I can't think of what to say until after the situation is over, then I think of it and kick myself. I want to stand up for...
    sterlingsinner sterlingsinner 22-25 1 Response Mar 30, 2009

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    "Sacrificial"

    I'm finding out that my close friends think I sacrifice all the time. I'm always the one who takes the floor when there aren't enough beds, the one who takes the end seat in the movie theater 87% of the time, the one who gives up too easily. I didn't realize this until they...
    awkwardlighting awkwardlighting 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    You Have

    The right to decide how to lead your life. This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams and establishing your own priorities. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions -- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of...
    redman redman 46-50, M 7 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    Too Nice?

    In nearly every relationship I've been in, I was so devoted, so kind, and giving but I would up getting cheated on, getting very hurt emotionally, and alone. Was it that I always chose the wrong person or that I haven't been as strong as I should and need to take control?
    Chucklesh Chucklesh 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 2 Responses Jun 4

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    I'm always that person

    that is there for you, even if we don't like each other.. I'm always the friend that gets everyone's **** when they want to blow off steam. I'm not the chew toy, and I'm not a waste of space either. I want someone to help me LITERALLY and guide me to become braver than what I am...
    pandasixteen pandasixteen 18-21, F May 13

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    What Is It.....

    Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication which is self-enhancing and expressive. Acting assertively will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally...
    redman redman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    In Telling People When They Hurt Me....

    At the moment I feel I am letting people get away with hurting me and that makes me feel angry with myself. I really do need to be more assertive and stand my ground with people. I always put others before myself and it leaves me feeling resentful and hurt. My mother is the worst...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    Related Experiences

    My b/f & I have been together 7mnths & he just isn't a very outwardly affectionate person. I'm clingy & touchy feely by nature while he is more of the loner kind of keeps to...
    hendersonb09 hendersonb09 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 10

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    I really need more of a social life. Growing up and a social life will only benefit me in the long run! What I'm looking for: Mature people who can carry and handle a...
    Winbu Winbu 16-17, M 3 days ago

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    Not assertive at all I'm just too passive! I find it hard to say no and then I end up saying yes to please the other person and do something i don't want to do... I'm never sure...
    MilweePetite MilweePetite 18-21, F Jul 13

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    I just need more friends that like the same music, and stuff that I do. If any of you fine people are wondering: I listen to a lot of music. Mostly metal subgenres. Bands like...
    ApocalypticKitty ApocalypticKitty 16-17, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    I need a best friend ... Everytime I get tight in a relation with my friend .. And I think we are best friends , somebody enter in the middle of the relation and destroy it 😰 i...
    NahilOweidate NahilOweidate 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    @therealversaceking 😁🙏 I'll follow back! I really need followers PLZ
    Linkson Linkson 13-15, M 1 Response Jul 19

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    I really really need a hug right now :( 😢
    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 17

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    I honestly need more gay friends, because let me tell you I have some questions that need answering.
    FallingUp23 FallingUp23 13-15, M 1 Response 6 days ago

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    I really need to make some friends this has been the most boring and wast of time summer
    tylerstevens97 tylerstevens97 16-17, M Jul 15

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    Fanboy and ChumChum against the World..Right..????? How did I lose you?? Maybe it was that little argument we had a few months back. I Miss my Fanboy :( I just don't understand...
    Nitra99 Nitra99 13-15, F Jul 22

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    I need more gay friends the only ones I have that I talk to without getting mad are my 2 lesbian friends but all they do is make out and hang around each other
    GayBoy115 GayBoy115 16-17, M 3 days ago

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    The thing with me is I'm very mentally strong, I'm neither weak willed nor am I a pushover, but I so wish I appeared tougher on the outside! I don't want to be that person who...
    AngelofPink AngelofPink 18-21, F 2 Responses Jul 15

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    my family is super annoying. I really just need to write all of this out. Every night I go to bed with tears on my face. Because my sister says I hate you or something. Or my dad...
    prettyeyesbutalotoftears prettyeyesbutalotoftears 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 18

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    Ok so erm long story short. Need some new friends. Tired of being constantlyused. I dont feel like a "Friend" to some people. I feel more like an option or someone they run to when...
    SamAj1 SamAj1 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 19

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    I'm a middle-schooler and this past year I had a really hard time making friends. People ignored me all the time and I would just sit by myself in class alone while everyone...
    kaseyf2801 kaseyf2801 13-15, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    My boyfriend says he loves me and cares about me but he never shows it and when he's around his friends he ignores me and it's really tearing me apart but I can't find it in me to...
    BeccaBoo7869 BeccaBoo7869 16-17, F Jul 23

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    I have no friends at all anymore, i must just be a horrible person. Iv been to 4 schools and spent 3 years at college but dont have 1 single friend now. I had a few but then i had...
    russianpenguin23 russianpenguin23 22-25, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Shshshshshshyyyyyyyytttttttttt Realy x 1470000000 Strangers get mad at my hope. Pals cant travel here. New pals here aint sure of me yet. New enemies increase the need...
    converted converted 46-50, M 1 Response Jul 2

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    I need a hug :((((((( like really bad
    Angel2345 Angel2345 13-15, F 5 Responses 3 days ago

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    A REAL one... I mean, I love my friends but I feel like I can never talk to them. Whenever I try they always make me feel even worse. I need someone to talk to...
    skinnylittlebitch2 skinnylittlebitch2 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    I don't get it, sometimes people are just mean, there is a guy who i believed i was friends with but he is like one of the bad boy type, you know, who knows things that they...
    daniel147 daniel147 13-15, M Jul 12

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    I need followers on 2 out of my 3 accounts One is a show I have on YouTube called cassy and Jackie show and the Instagram account is @cassy_and_jackie and I will like some of your...
    darecassy darecassy 13-15, F Jul 16

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    hey all ! ... this is important and big. can i have a small time of yours, just little.. few minutes.. i sign up here around a year back to share my story with people and i did. i...
    heartless2 heartless2 22-25, M Jul 22

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    I need a personal trainer. I don't know what I'm doing.
    AquariusLife AquariusLife 26-30, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    I moved to US over 6 years ago but have not made any real friends. When I had my kids, my husband was my only visitor in hospital.. I'm now shopping online most of the time because...
    wepamoyo wepamoyo 36-40, F 2 Responses Jul 8

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    I need a good friend to talk to someone real
    deleted deleted 26-30 1 Response Jul 15

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    It's so hard to make actual friends these days. There's always acquaintances and friends of friends but no real true friends. Everyone is too busy with their own lives. I need some...
    Whattodo00 Whattodo00 26-30, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    Hello :) to all that read this, i am looking for someone i can be "BESTfriends" with. Someone around 16-19 years old. i want to be friends with someone i can confide in and speak...
    beyoutifulbliss beyoutifulbliss 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 15

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    I'm a senior in high school amd as it goes with all seniors I don't have any friends besides my boyfriend. I really want a friend that I can chat with and get to know. Someone...
    MacKenzie31113 MacKenzie31113 16-17, F 3 Responses Jul 15

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    I enjoy doing a lot of things many other guys I've met don't care for. Things like: Herb gardens; Making candles, soaps, incense and oils; working with clay and pottery. Plus, I...
    MikjallFimbultyr MikjallFimbultyr 36-40, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    Who can listen to me and understand me better for being me and relate to my problems i need to talk to a mature women only please message me
    Thesexyguy Thesexyguy 22-25, M 1 Response Jul 17

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    The thing is, I had this best friend since I was nine years old. A year and a half ago we got into a fight, and we're not friends anymore. It wouldn't be a big deal except that...
    talkingjane talkingjane 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 18

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    I am so lonely. I just need somebody that O can trust to talk to and make me feel better. My kick is ASEMER03 if anybody is interested
    anonymous2396 anonymous2396 18-21, M Jul 19

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    i dont know what i expected when i am writing this. i just feel so depressed. i have many problems, from family to college matter. i need money to pay my college, but i dont have...
    clearlite001 clearlite001 18-21, F Jul 21

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    I just need someone, someone to listen or just talk...message me someone?..
    pwikachew pwikachew 16-17, F 2 Responses 6 days ago

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    Every Sunday I sit and decide what exercise I am going to do for the next week and what I am going to eat, (trying to get healthier and loose weight) by Monday lunchtime I have...
    poshbarbie poshbarbie 26-30, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I just need one true friend ... a real life friend .. i don't want ep friend to chat, I want ep to be just medium I one someone who knows everything about me and about whom I know...
    vishar vishar 18-21, M 4 days ago

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