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I Really Need to Be More Assertive

Personal Stories, Advice, and Support 113 People

    You Have

    The right to decide how to lead your life. This includes pursuing your own goals and dreams and establishing your own priorities. The right to your own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions -- and the right to respect yourself for them, no matter the opinion of...
    redman redman 46-50, M 7 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    A Story I've Read In A Book About Assertiveness

    I've read a story in a book about a man who wasn't assertive at all when he was younger. I think his mother was an alcoholic and punched him or something. He didn't fight back. I think he thought of himself as weak, as did his peers. He went to "shadow work therapy" (the book...
    AmIAMaleHSP AmIAMaleHSP 26-30, M Aug 20, 2012

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 4

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    "Sacrificial"

    I'm finding out that my close friends think I sacrifice all the time. I'm always the one who takes the floor when there aren't enough beds, the one who takes the end seat in the movie theater 87% of the time, the one who gives up too easily. I didn't realize this until they...
    awkwardlighting awkwardlighting 16-17, F 4 Responses Jan 3, 2008

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    What Is It.....

    Assertiveness is the ability to express yourself and your rights without violating the rights of others. It is appropriately direct, open, and honest communication which is self-enhancing and expressive. Acting assertively will allow you to feel self-confident and will generally...
    redman redman 46-50, M 2 Responses Dec 21, 2007

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    In Telling People When They Hurt Me....

    At the moment I feel I am letting people get away with hurting me and that makes me feel angry with myself. I really do need to be more assertive and stand my ground with people. I always put others before myself and it leaves me feeling resentful and hurt. My mother is the worst...
    Jenni855 Jenni855 26-30, F 2 Responses Aug 16, 2011

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    Too Nice?

    In nearly every relationship I've been in, I was so devoted, so kind, and giving but I would up getting cheated on, getting very hurt emotionally, and alone. Was it that I always chose the wrong person or that I haven't been as strong as I should and need to take control?
    Chucklesh Chucklesh 56-60, M 4 Responses Nov 8, 2013

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    I'm always that person

    that is there for you, even if we don't like each other.. I'm always the friend that gets everyone's **** when they want to blow off steam. I'm not the chew toy, and I'm not a waste of space either. I want someone to help me LITERALLY and guide me to become braver than what I am...
    pandasixteen pandasixteen 18-21, F May 13

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    I am a complete pushover,

    I am rubbish at confrontation and I never stand up for myself which results in friends/ boyfriends walking all over me. I know that this all stems from my abusive childhood but I really wish I could change... Any advice?
    Samks Samks 26-30, F 1 Response Jun 3

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    I Wish...

    I really suck at saying no. I put myself way over my head because I can't say no or stand up for myself as much as I'd like to. When something happens I can't think of what to say until after the situation is over, then I think of it and kick myself. I want to stand up for...
    sterlingsinner sterlingsinner 22-25 1 Response Mar 30, 2009

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    Well So I'm Told!

    Now don't get me wrong, it's not that I can't say no it's just that I hate to disappoint people and if i really don't mind and what is being asked is within my power than I don't see a reason to deny a person their wish.  I'm constantly being told by those closest to me that i...
    teeny09 teeny09 36-40, F 1 Response Jun 15, 2011

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    Last week I had to go to my local home improvement store. I usually go in the middle of the day to avoid any semblance of a crowd. Thus I had the place mostly to myself - except a...
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    TheFusmicster TheFusmicster 26-30, F 1 Response Oct 30

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    Shygirl917 Shygirl917 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 4

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    brimc7 brimc7 16-17, F 2 Responses Nov 12

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    Friends are all married, preoccupied, or live too far away. Parents are not much for emotional support. Sucks to feel alone, but still grateful I have more than a lot of ppl. Help...
    BleuGardenia BleuGardenia 26-30, F Nov 2

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    Because my girlfriend is horrible at being a friend. Probably should go out more
    TechnoZoom55 TechnoZoom55 22-25, M Nov 13

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    have you ever loved someone so much but their parents hate you because you live halfway across the country and you haven't met in person yet? Yet you skype every night but then he...
    Zoopetiz Zoopetiz 16-17, F 1 Response Nov 14

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    angie01993 angie01993 31-35, F 1 Response Nov 16

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    I seriously don't have any. It's so hard to find girls to be friends with at this stage of my life. Everyone has had high school and college to form their friend groups. I moved 6...
    SouthernBelle01 SouthernBelle01 18-21, F 1 Response 4 days ago

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    It's one of those days again where I feel super lonely! I don't have a bf anymore, school is becoming really stressful and I am trying to hold it all together, for my family and my...
    madusand madusand 18-21, F 2 Responses Oct 30

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    I'm really in need of a new friend, it seems like I'm always bored and since I've graduated in looking for a friend to pass the time with since my few friends I have are in school
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    It will make it more fun with more people, add me
    ownfrnchseplaya ownfrnchseplaya 26-30, M Nov 11

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    liquidoxygen liquidoxygen 26-30, M a week ago

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    I need to talk to someone, who understands long distance relationships an can talk now :(