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I Relapsed

A group for those who have gone back to addictive behaviors that we thought we had left behind 101 People

    3 and a half weeks clean i couldn't make it to

    four but this is what happens when you dont want to live anymore. relapsed today. bad but not bad enough to take away the urges. i want to do it again but im scared of getting caught...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    Last Night

    I relapsed and only after 3 months of not cutting I broke last night. On my hip. Blood is all I wanted. They aren't deep but they're there. I'm seeing my boyfriend today and if he sees them I don't know what will happen. I need help. Major help.
    autumnfahey autumnfahey 16-17, F Sep 8, 2013

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    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    I haven't cut since before Christmas,

    I go on these long brakes without it and I think I have it all under control but everything just comes back harder. I tried to resist, but I broke apart a disposable razor and relapsed. I did it right before my boyfriend got home and even when he walked in they didn't stop...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 18-21, F Jan 31

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    You knew I’d fall in love with you the from

    the very first day when you eliminated my sadness and numbed all my pain. You gave me the confidence that before you I lacked but deprived me of things that I'll never get back. The whole time I believed you were harmless and fun; I was blinded of the damage you truly had done...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    What Else Is New?

    Well once again i've relapsed after i've told myself a number of countless times that I would do my best to stay focused, and remain sober...so tired, and so sick that i've gotten to the point where I no longer make promises that i'm going to stay sober bcuz, there's always a...
    Alan132 Alan132 22-25, M 1 Response May 20, 2012

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    Should I Feel Bad!?

    Long story short, I first tried crystal Meth with my two older brothers and my sister-in-law. That was about 5 years ago. We used to tweak every day. Thought we had it all under control but eventually things got ugly in a blink of an eye. So my oldest brother and his girl moved...
    M060110M M060110M 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

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    Recovery Vs. Relapse

    I have been an addict to self harm and a victim to bulimia since 7th grade but it had gotten progressively worse throughout high school. After a bunch of warning signs, my social worker and my therapist both had me checked out at the "crisis center" just to make sure I wasn't...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2013

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    Insanity

       Here I am after a relapse,  hating myself for it but wanting to go out and pick-up again,  I am really sick and need help but think I am one of those addicts that will never quit, this is my 2nd relapse, 1 after 8 months clean and this one with 11 months...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 2 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    ****

    Argghhhhhh....I have relapsed and spent the last 24 hours smoking crack.  After 8 months of sobriety.  There were various triggers that contributed to my relapse like excess money and time off work.  Plus I don't think I ever fully accepted that I don't want to do...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Sep 20, 2007

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    Legalizing Pot

    I've convinced myself that marajiuana is a safe, medicinal and harmless plant that actually trumps the pharmacucdical drugs that are synthetic and unsafe. I am an alcoholic, but pot is safe.
    gcaiken gcaiken 36-40, M 2 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Orrale Pues

    I fuck1n relapsed god dang it life is a ***** was set up to fail since birth ..plus god is toying with my emotions ....its like COME ON f uCK ............IT LIKE A ROLLER COASTER AND IM NOT BIPOLAR
    AngelTrey AngelTrey 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19, 2012

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    oops... not my fault.

    . I just want I be pretty...
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 13-15, F Jul 13

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    I relapsed again Saturday night,

    I was thinking about doing it for so long. I craved it, and it just kind of happened. I feel much better now after I did it, hopefully I'll make it longer next time. Summer is coming and I don't need more scars/cuts on my legs!
    trippyprincess trippyprincess 13-15, F Mar 17

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    Kind of bad, probably,

    possibly very bad.
    azigzaggylyss azigzaggylyss 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    I Relapsed For The First Time

    I stopped cutting for 2 weeks, not very long but it's a start, and i cut a few minutes ago, i don't know why i even try im only going to fail, i promised my best friends that i wouldn't ever cut myself, now how do i tell them i broke my promise and that im a failure? I hate...
    KremKalashnikov KremKalashnikov 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 8, 2013

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    Yesterday I Cut

    i cut yesterday during church....not the best place to do it...long story short i cut because i felt fat so i tried to cut away at my ugliness and my fattiness...
    bellamajors bellamajors 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 10, 2012

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    Well the other day I relapsed

    for the first time in a month. I was doing so well. It was so bad. I feel like im going down hill again. I have so much going on I can't seem to cope with. Everything in my life is messing up. I don't know how much longer I can fight this. I feel like giving up with life.
    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    Better Now

     Coming up to six months clean, feel great, went to treatment and it was a great help, feel confident in my recovery and myself.  My spirit is growing strong and my faith is powerful, have lots of hope today,   :D
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 1 Response Aug 10, 2008

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    Relapse

    I've been battling these feelings off and on for eight years now. Sometimes it's months in between them, but the longer in between, the worse it feels when it returns. This weekend my ex came to visit, and it affected me so much more than I ever thought it would, I ended up...
    PaigePerry PaigePerry 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    I'm so overwhelmed I've been using meth

    since November of 2013. Four days ago I had 16days clean and sober, but I relapsed. That was the longest I had gone without meth since I first used. I'm not sure if I really want to stop. I miss feeling sober and healthy. I only stayed clean off meth because I got put in rehab...
    confusednabused confusednabused 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    so yeah.... i relapsed😭 i cut again.

    i need help... HELP ME😭🔫
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 13-15, F May 29

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    Last Night

    Last night I relapsed. I have always had an addiction to cutting/self-injury. I was doing really well. Couldn't even remember the last time I had a slip, but last night, I had a relapsed. It wasn't too severe. I cleaned up, but I can't deny for that short time, the pain felt good...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 25, 2013

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    I Hate This ****

    I relapsed after 11 months clean.  ******* crack, what an evil drug itr is,  I thought I was done with it, was doing all the right things, went to treatment, was attending N.A., have a sponsor and was working the steps.  One month away from my medallion too, ...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 10 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    And just like that, one

    and a half months of progress was obliterated. And I broke more promises than I can count in a matter of 10 minutes.
    tryingtokeepcalm tryingtokeepcalm 13-15, F Jun 18

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    The Stuggle of An Artist

    I relapsed, my drug of choice was crack cocaine, and alcohol.  I entered a rehab group a few weeks ago and Ive been learning alot.  At first I was struggling with talking about my emotions especially guilt, which is ironic because i can express my feelings fluently...
    reichofthedead reichofthedead 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 12, 2009

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    My Sweet Prince..

    I could never feel this good sober..here I am, I admit it.. The human mind is a great sophisticated thing.. And i agree that the power of the mind overcomes it all.. Well this is why i wanna get so high.. I don't want to have all this "power" that is quite useless especially in...
    Rauw Rauw 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2012

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    I Am The Definition Of Relapse

    Whether its cutting, throwing up, not eating, or getting high. I relapse. Time and time again. I don't know why and I don't know how I just know that I can't stop. However I do know that my mom is such a *****. She causes me to feel like i need relief and I have to cut to feel...
    southernbelle864 southernbelle864 18-21, F Apr 17, 2012

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    ive been doing okay but ive completely relapsed.

    i havent self harmed in a while now, probably a month and everything just got all bottled up inside me and i just cant deal with anything anymore i really just want to jump in front of a train or traffic lately life has been really difficult i feel like im going crazy
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F Jan 29

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    I have been clean for almost a month

    but I relapsed and now have 3 bright red scars on my left wrist, kinda obvious but i use bracelets or my watch to cover them up, coz i always cut in the same small area. Its being covered by aloe vera gel right now... i read that some people use it, but does it really work?
    LetMeGiveYourHeartABreak LetMeGiveYourHeartABreak 13-15, F Apr 7

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    Again And Again

    Last night I relapsed back into self harm and purging. But it seems like the self injury is something that I relapsed back into every other month. It's getting really annoying. A few hours ago, someone also posted a triggering picture that ended up on my tumblr dashboard. I wish...
    JustForTheStories JustForTheStories 18-21, F Jul 4, 2013

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    5 months. I was so proud.

    :( Today wasn't even an especially bad day I just couldn't stop myself. I had a feeling I was going to cut again I got the blades days before I did it. I feel like such a failure... I have PE on Thursday it's gonna be so hard to hide them :(
    unfaiir unfaiir 13-15, F 1 Response May 6

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    Related Experiences

    I was a month clean, my cuts were healing, I was eating. In that time I never starved myself or vomited or cut. I relapsed. Badly. Yesterday night I ate quite a lot and I bloat...
    XxbixtchybellaxX XxbixtchybellaxX 13-15, F 3 Responses Jun 27

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    I relapsed after 2. 5 years on drugs. I didn't think that could happen but I didn't address the depression and it took me away. I back I'm the room but I am half the person today...
    joeygolucky joeygolucky 41-45, M 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    I am completely addicted to my Anorexia Nervosa. It's official. I though having enough treatment, enough therapy, enough inpatients, residential facilities and various ways of...
    Lucile199 Lucile199 18-21, F Jul 15

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    I'm getting worse. And I can't stop it.
    stillYDGN stillYDGN 13-15, F 6 days ago

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    When my mom first found out I was cutting all she said was: don't let anyone at school find out. I stopped for 45 days before I relapsed this time my dad said what are people going...
    haileemattis haileemattis 16-17, F 4 Responses 17 hrs ago

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    It's been rough. I'd tell you all about it but I know what would be said, and frankly I don't want the advice. What's right for you won't always be what's right for someone else...
    MyMonstersHideUnderMySkin MyMonstersHideUnderMySkin 16-17, F 1 Response 8 hrs ago

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    Here is our situation. I have a chronic illness. As a result of the disorder, my leg is broken and weak, and I walk with crutches, permanently. I did not find out my husband was...
    Mego123123 Mego123123 26-30, F Jun 28

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    I've been smoking for 4 years. And I'm only 17 years old. It started out by having everyone else around me smoking, so I practically 'joined the club'. I went through the whole...
    Sofyy Sofyy 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 10

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    I relapsed after 60 days. It was bad this time around. Seems like I probably lost my only friend in the state I live in. I truly cared for her. But, I understand why she cannot...
    mysticdragonlady mysticdragonlady 36-40, F 2 Responses Jun 28

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    ugh. I told my sister I relapsed & I'm afraid she's going to tell my mom. 😰
    ashleygrierrr ashleygrierrr 13-15, F 2 Responses Jul 2

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    I relapsed today a month clean and it's all gone now
    emgg emgg 13-15, F 7 Responses Jul 2

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    I just really need to get this off of my chest. My husband of four years and I recently switched to progressive insurance and signed up for snap shot. Little did I know that that...
    mills1126 mills1126 26-30, F 7 Responses Jul 7

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    I started when I was 12. I needed a way to escape it became an addiction. I've cut over 100 times. I lost count. I had a year in there I didn't cut but I relapsed. Someone found...
    alovelynightmare alovelynightmare 13-15, F Jul 7

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    Hello All, I am new here! My husband has abused prescription drugs for the past 2 years. I knew he was for some time but when I asked he lied! He came clean on April 22. I...
    Helpless1008 Helpless1008 36-40, F 1 Response Jul 7

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    2 years ago I was a different person. I was not the person you see today. I would get drunk every day and would take pills. I was addicted to xanax and opiates. I started doing...
    Jasmin1017079 Jasmin1017079 18-21, F 5 Responses Jul 9

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    I relapsed again... I always do when depression and the desire to use comw back.. I had 14 months of legit.clean time before and I fear after giving it up im.one of the unlucky few...
    mrjones12 mrjones12 22-25, M 2 Responses Jul 9

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    Almost relapsed last night😭 I would have if I wasn't going to see family that I haven't in years very soon
    motorcross16 motorcross16 13-15, F Jul 11

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    I have been dating a drug addict for three years. He didnt use for the first year, and I didnt even know he had ever had a problem until a year later. Then, after we got back...
    Dots2014 Dots2014 22-25, F 1 Response Jul 12

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    My husband has confessed he has relapsed but kept sobriety. (Confusing, I know) Uggggg I just want to thank the dear Lord for giving me the strength for not going off on him.
    wheelsxoxo wheelsxoxo 22-25, F 2 Responses Jul 12