Post

I Relapsed

A group for those who have gone back to addictive behaviors that we thought we had left behind 108 People

    Should I Feel Bad!?

    Long story short, I first tried crystal Meth with my two older brothers and my sister-in-law. That was about 5 years ago. We used to tweak every day. Thought we had it all under control but eventually things got ugly in a blink of an eye. So my oldest brother and his girl moved...
    M060110M M060110M 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

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    Yesterday I Cut

    i cut yesterday during church....not the best place to do it...long story short i cut because i felt fat so i tried to cut away at my ugliness and my fattiness...
    bellamajors bellamajors 13-15, F 1 Response Apr 10, 2012

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    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 16-17, M Sep 4

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    Relapse

    I've been battling these feelings off and on for eight years now. Sometimes it's months in between them, but the longer in between, the worse it feels when it returns. This weekend my ex came to visit, and it affected me so much more than I ever thought it would, I ended up...
    PaigePerry PaigePerry 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    What Else Is New?

    Well once again i've relapsed after i've told myself a number of countless times that I would do my best to stay focused, and remain sober...so tired, and so sick that i've gotten to the point where I no longer make promises that i'm going to stay sober bcuz, there's always a...
    Alan132 Alan132 22-25, M 1 Response May 20, 2012

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    ive been doing okay but ive completely relapsed.

    i havent self harmed in a while now, probably a month and everything just got all bottled up inside me and i just cant deal with anything anymore i really just want to jump in front of a train or traffic lately life has been really difficult i feel like im going crazy
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F Jan 29

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    Better Now

     Coming up to six months clean, feel great, went to treatment and it was a great help, feel confident in my recovery and myself.  My spirit is growing strong and my faith is powerful, have lots of hope today,   :D
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 1 Response Aug 10, 2008

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    ****

    Argghhhhhh....I have relapsed and spent the last 24 hours smoking crack.  After 8 months of sobriety.  There were various triggers that contributed to my relapse like excess money and time off work.  Plus I don't think I ever fully accepted that I don't want to do...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Sep 20, 2007

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    Almost a month clean

    until now. I wish I was stronger and able to do this, no one is going to want a girl like me.
    Ellyhi Ellyhi 13-15, F Sep 2

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    I relapsed again Saturday night,

    I was thinking about doing it for so long. I craved it, and it just kind of happened. I feel much better now after I did it, hopefully I'll make it longer next time. Summer is coming and I don't need more scars/cuts on my legs!
    trippyprincess trippyprincess 13-15, F Mar 17

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    The Stuggle of An Artist

    I relapsed, my drug of choice was crack cocaine, and alcohol.  I entered a rehab group a few weeks ago and Ive been learning alot.  At first I was struggling with talking about my emotions especially guilt, which is ironic because i can express my feelings fluently...
    reichofthedead reichofthedead 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 12, 2009

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    Last Night

    Last night I relapsed. I have always had an addiction to cutting/self-injury. I was doing really well. Couldn't even remember the last time I had a slip, but last night, I had a relapsed. It wasn't too severe. I cleaned up, but I can't deny for that short time, the pain felt good...
    deleted deleted 26-30 Jun 25, 2013

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    3 and a half weeks clean i couldn't make it to

    four but this is what happens when you dont want to live anymore. relapsed today. bad but not bad enough to take away the urges. i want to do it again but im scared of getting caught...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9

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    I didn't self-harm for over a month up

    until tonight. 0 days clean again..
    Ellyhi Ellyhi 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 19

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    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 16-17, F 2 Responses Apr 26

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    Again And Again

    Last night I relapsed back into self harm and purging. But it seems like the self injury is something that I relapsed back into every other month. It's getting really annoying. A few hours ago, someone also posted a triggering picture that ended up on my tumblr dashboard. I wish...
    JustForTheStories JustForTheStories 22-25, F Jul 4, 2013

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    so yeah.... i relapsed😭 i cut again.

    i need help... HELP ME😭🔫
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 13-15, F May 29

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    I was clean for a month.

    I wanted to cut for weeks. Today, I found something to unscrew it with. It was just one cut, But I want to more now.
    WhySufferxx WhySufferxx 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 4

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    Legalizing Pot

    I've convinced myself that marajiuana is a safe, medicinal and harmless plant that actually trumps the pharmacucdical drugs that are synthetic and unsafe. I am an alcoholic, but pot is safe.
    gcaiken gcaiken 36-40, M 2 Responses Nov 15, 2012

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    Well the other day I relapsed

    for the first time in a month. I was doing so well. It was so bad. I feel like im going down hill again. I have so much going on I can't seem to cope with. Everything in my life is messing up. I don't know how much longer I can fight this. I feel like giving up with life.
    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 8

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    resin in an old pipe.

    I didn't even wait until I had pot.
    piprimate piprimate 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 8

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    I didn't self-injure

    for 3 years. About a month ago now, I started again. There were a lot of stressful events around me at that time, and I can think of a million reasons why I did it, but the only reason I SI was because I chose to. I could have chosen another coping strategy, but I went back to...
    Kneetar04 Kneetar04 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 17

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    oops... not my fault.

    . I just want I be pretty...
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 13

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    I Relapsed For The First Time

    I stopped cutting for 2 weeks, not very long but it's a start, and i cut a few minutes ago, i don't know why i even try im only going to fail, i promised my best friends that i wouldn't ever cut myself, now how do i tell them i broke my promise and that im a failure? I hate...
    KremKalashnikov KremKalashnikov 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 8, 2013

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    Held the cutting urge

    for a good while before a person I hate walked into my family's life again, just when I was happy we were finally rid of him. Recently relapsed and don't feel like I'll hold it the urges for more that a few hours at a time now.
    ExoticSnow ExoticSnow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23

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    I Hate This ****

    I relapsed after 11 months clean.  ******* crack, what an evil drug itr is,  I thought I was done with it, was doing all the right things, went to treatment, was attending N.A., have a sponsor and was working the steps.  One month away from my medallion too, ...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 10 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    Kind of bad, probably,

    possibly very bad.
    azigzaggylyss azigzaggylyss 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 5

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    Insanity

       Here I am after a relapse,  hating myself for it but wanting to go out and pick-up again,  I am really sick and need help but think I am one of those addicts that will never quit, this is my 2nd relapse, 1 after 8 months clean and this one with 11 months...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 2 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    I haven't cut since before Christmas,

    I go on these long brakes without it and I think I have it all under control but everything just comes back harder. I tried to resist, but I broke apart a disposable razor and relapsed. I did it right before my boyfriend got home and even when he walked in they didn't stop...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 22-25, F Jan 31

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    5 months. I was so proud.

    :( Today wasn't even an especially bad day I just couldn't stop myself. I had a feeling I was going to cut again I got the blades days before I did it. I feel like such a failure... I have PE on Thursday it's gonna be so hard to hide them :(
    unfaiir unfaiir 13-15, F 1 Response May 6

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    I'm so overwhelmed I've been using meth

    since November of 2013. Four days ago I had 16days clean and sober, but I relapsed. That was the longest I had gone without meth since I first used. I'm not sure if I really want to stop. I miss feeling sober and healthy. I only stayed clean off meth because I got put in rehab...
    confusednabused confusednabused 16-17, F 1 Response Apr 30

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    Last Night

    I relapsed and only after 3 months of not cutting I broke last night. On my hip. Blood is all I wanted. They aren't deep but they're there. I'm seeing my boyfriend today and if he sees them I don't know what will happen. I need help. Major help.
    autumnfahey autumnfahey 16-17, F Sep 8, 2013

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    I have been clean for almost a month

    but I relapsed and now have 3 bright red scars on my left wrist, kinda obvious but i use bracelets or my watch to cover them up, coz i always cut in the same small area. Its being covered by aloe vera gel right now... i read that some people use it, but does it really work?
    LetMeGiveYourHeartABreak LetMeGiveYourHeartABreak 16-17, F Apr 7

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    Orrale Pues

    I fuck1n relapsed god dang it life is a ***** was set up to fail since birth ..plus god is toying with my emotions ....its like COME ON f uCK ............IT LIKE A ROLLER COASTER AND IM NOT BIPOLAR
    AngelTrey AngelTrey 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19, 2012

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    You knew I’d fall in love with you the from

    the very first day when you eliminated my sadness and numbed all my pain. You gave me the confidence that before you I lacked but deprived me of things that I'll never get back. The whole time I believed you were harmless and fun; I was blinded of the damage you truly had done...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13

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    I Am The Definition Of Relapse

    Whether its cutting, throwing up, not eating, or getting high. I relapse. Time and time again. I don't know why and I don't know how I just know that I can't stop. However I do know that my mom is such a *****. She causes me to feel like i need relief and I have to cut to feel...
    southernbelle864 southernbelle864 18-21, F Apr 17, 2012

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    Recovery Vs. Relapse

    I have been an addict to self harm and a victim to bulimia since 7th grade but it had gotten progressively worse throughout high school. After a bunch of warning signs, my social worker and my therapist both had me checked out at the "crisis center" just to make sure I wasn't...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2013

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    And just like that, one

    and a half months of progress was obliterated. And I broke more promises than I can count in a matter of 10 minutes.
    tryingtokeepcalm tryingtokeepcalm 13-15, F Jun 18

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    My Sweet Prince..

    I could never feel this good sober..here I am, I admit it.. The human mind is a great sophisticated thing.. And i agree that the power of the mind overcomes it all.. Well this is why i wanna get so high.. I don't want to have all this "power" that is quite useless especially in...
    Rauw Rauw 26-30, M 1 Response Sep 24, 2012

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    Related Experiences

    ****. ****. ****. I fear it everyday... I guess I didn't fear it enough today because I ******* relapsed.... Worst cuts this year:( I hate myself.
    aloneinsidehappyoutside aloneinsidehappyoutside 18-21, F 1 Response 5 days ago

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    I reached my one year 'clean' on 08.17.14...heroin problem, IV user, occasional ANY drug user, But last night I scored some rock and just had to. I don't feel to bad about it...
    RXQueen4244 RXQueen4244 26-30, F 2 Responses 2 days ago

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    Hi, my name is Emma and I am a cutter in recovery. I want to tell everyone about this because this can become an addiction. I started cutting at age 12, I am now 15. It started...
    Muppo23 Muppo23 13-15, F 1 Response Sep 1

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    As a 13-year old cutter, I can say that living with scars is difficult. I have to hide in my own home, I can't shower after gym class with the other girls, I can't wear shorts or T...
    ColourfulDreams ColourfulDreams 13-15, F 5 Responses Aug 17

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    I used to do it for crap reasons- I thought I'd be 'interesting', I thought this guy would love me back. But after a while, after I stopped and then relapsed, I started loving it...
    HorizonHeart HorizonHeart 13-15, F 4 Responses Aug 18

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    My parents check my wrists from time to time, so I can't cut there :( I want to so bad, I think it would feel loads better than cutting my thighs. Today I did a large burn, right...
    HorizonHeart HorizonHeart 13-15, F 3 Responses Aug 19

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    Everyone I am fine just really depressed. No I am not going to do anything stupid but I really just want to be alone right now. I want to apologize in advance for pushing you...
    LostAriel LostAriel 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 20

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    I am so baffled right now. It's my first year of marriage. When we first met we didn't do drugs. Then we did hydrocodone at work waiting tables. We became a couple and went from...
    ladyeljay ladyeljay 26-30, F 1 Response Aug 24

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    I slipped, so far, almost back to the start, I can't function, I feel cold all the time, and I've relapsed into self harming again. I feel so tired, all the time, it's like I'm...
    Werekind Werekind 18-21, F 2 Responses Aug 25

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    Relapsed again............
    CatWithScars CatWithScars 13-15, F 2 Responses Aug 26

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    I relapsed tonight. It's been 4 years. I'm a nude model and have a photoshoot in 2 weeks and now have 20+ cuts on my thigh.
    indicat indicat 22-25, F 1 Response Aug 27

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    My name is Courtney. I am a recent college graduate who just moved to New York City. Here's my story... My mom was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis when I was 9 months old. From...
    luvzmusic89 luvzmusic89 22-25, F Aug 27

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    I have relapsed greatly into bingeing and purging, my weight is now about 120lbs at 5'5-5'6.. I hate being a "healthy" weight. I need my bones back, everything was so much safer...
    discoveringisabel discoveringisabel 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 28