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I Relapsed

A group for those who have gone back to addictive behaviors that we thought we had left behind 133 People

    Yet again I have relapsed with cutting I never

    thought this would be so hard to stop....
    EmilyPop28 EmilyPop28 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2014

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    I thought i had my depression under control

    and havent harmed myself in months but tonight I relapsed and hurt myself again.. seeing as my psychiatric nurse and doctor has given up on my why should i not give up on myself
    klxo klxo 18-21, F Nov 15, 2014

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    I haven't cut since before Christmas,

    I go on these long brakes without it and I think I have it all under control but everything just comes back harder. I tried to resist, but I broke apart a disposable razor and relapsed. I did it right before my boyfriend got home and even when he walked in they didn't stop...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 22-25, F Jan 31, 2014

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    Should I Feel Bad!?

    Long story short, I first tried crystal Meth with my two older brothers and my sister-in-law. That was about 5 years ago. We used to tweak every day. Thought we had it all under control but eventually things got ugly in a blink of an eye. So my oldest brother and his girl moved...
    M060110M M060110M 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

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    To everyone that just read the title

    and felt a huge wave of disappointment, I'm sorry. I truly am. I've met some amazing and supportive people on here that know some of my struggles. I would never want to disappoint anyone of you. I know relapsing is a choice. But what most people don't know is how out of my...
    sadvibes sadvibes 18-21, F 5 Responses Oct 13, 2014

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    I haven't cut in months.

    . I thought I was getting better.. But this ******* world just keeps pushing me back. I had to cut.. I wanted it so badly..
    PullTheFuckingTrigger PullTheFuckingTrigger 13-15, M 2 Responses Nov 9, 2014

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    I cut today after not cutting

    for almost 2 years. I was just so angry and I could not control it.
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

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    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 26, 2014

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    Oh **** that'd take forever.

    I relapsed in May, went back to jail in July, got out in August in the drug court program, ran, got rearrested in beginning of September, got released on halloween. Been out and have been using on and off. Haven't gotten bad, and idk if I'll stop. Tbh at the moment it doesn't...
    proffllama proffllama 18-21, M Nov 10, 2014

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    5 months. I was so proud.

    :( Today wasn't even an especially bad day I just couldn't stop myself. I had a feeling I was going to cut again I got the blades days before I did it. I feel like such a failure... I have PE on Thursday it's gonna be so hard to hide them :(
    unfaiir unfaiir 13-15, F May 6, 2014

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    I Am The Definition Of Relapse

    Whether its cutting, throwing up, not eating, or getting high. I relapse. Time and time again. I don't know why and I don't know how I just know that I can't stop. However I do know that my mom is such a *****. She causes me to feel like i need relief and I have to cut to feel...
    southernbelle864 southernbelle864 18-21, F Apr 17, 2012

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    I didn't self-injure

    for 3 years. About a month ago now, I started again. There were a lot of stressful events around me at that time, and I can think of a million reasons why I did it, but the only reason I SI was because I chose to. I could have chosen another coping strategy, but I went back to...
    Kneetar04 Kneetar04 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 17, 2014

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    I relapsed again Saturday night,

    I was thinking about doing it for so long. I craved it, and it just kind of happened. I feel much better now after I did it, hopefully I'll make it longer next time. Summer is coming and I don't need more scars/cuts on my legs!
    trippyprincess trippyprincess 16-17, F Mar 17, 2014

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    I am a chronic relapser.

    I have relapsed so many times I've lost count. The worst part is that once you have a foundation of recovery and you've been through the same horrible experience of getting fvcked up for a while, really enjoying it at first, then doing it a bit more often than you know you...
    EmperorJulian EmperorJulian 46-50, M 2 Responses Nov 10, 2014

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    Recovery Vs. Relapse

    I have been an addict to self harm and a victim to bulimia since 7th grade but it had gotten progressively worse throughout high school. After a bunch of warning signs, my social worker and my therapist both had me checked out at the "crisis center" just to make sure I wasn't...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2013

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    Held the cutting urge

    for a good while before a person I hate walked into my family's life again, just when I was happy we were finally rid of him. Recently relapsed and don't feel like I'll hold it the urges for more that a few hours at a time now.
    ExoticSnow ExoticSnow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2014

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    Insanity

       Here I am after a relapse,  hating myself for it but wanting to go out and pick-up again,  I am really sick and need help but think I am one of those addicts that will never quit, this is my 2nd relapse, 1 after 8 months clean and this one with 11 months...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 2 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    Well the other day I relapsed

    for the first time in a month. I was doing so well. It was so bad. I feel like im going down hill again. I have so much going on I can't seem to cope with. Everything in my life is messing up. I don't know how much longer I can fight this. I feel like giving up with life.
    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 16-17, M 1 Response Jun 8, 2014

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    so yeah.... i relapsed😭 i cut again.

    i need help... HELP ME😭🔫
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 16-17, F May 29, 2014

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    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 16-17, M Sep 4, 2014

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    To everyone that was depending on me to stay

    clean, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't sit around pretending that I wasn't screaming on the inside. You want me to go along with your theory that I'm fine, that seven months have passed so that makes me 'okay'. I'm not. I had to do it. I was drowning and I needed my trusty life...
    YouShallNotPass21 YouShallNotPass21 13-15, F Oct 12, 2014

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    I relapsed tonight. I haven't went all out with

    it like I did tonight in so long. It must have been an hour I was cutting. I was just so angry once I started, and didn't want to stop because of how deserving I thought it was. The scary part about it is how much relief I feel. Relief is so hard to find and cutting always seems...
    mentallytortured mentallytortured 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 17, 2014

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    resin in an old pipe.

    I didn't even wait until I had pot.
    untamablekitty untamablekitty 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 8, 2014

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    I didn't self-harm for over a month up

    until tonight. 0 days clean again..
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2014

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    oops... not my fault.

    . I just want I be pretty...
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 13, 2014

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    I quit drugs for 8 months.

    and i started again.
    2Bthin100 2Bthin100 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 24, 2014

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    ****

    Argghhhhhh....I have relapsed and spent the last 24 hours smoking crack.  After 8 months of sobriety.  There were various triggers that contributed to my relapse like excess money and time off work.  Plus I don't think I ever fully accepted that I don't want to do...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Sep 20, 2007

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    What Else Is New?

    Well once again i've relapsed after i've told myself a number of countless times that I would do my best to stay focused, and remain sober...so tired, and so sick that i've gotten to the point where I no longer make promises that i'm going to stay sober bcuz, there's always a...
    Alan132 Alan132 22-25, M 1 Response May 20, 2012

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    Almost a month clean

    until now. I wish I was stronger and able to do this, no one is going to want a girl like me.
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F Sep 2, 2014

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    Relapse

    I've been battling these feelings off and on for eight years now. Sometimes it's months in between them, but the longer in between, the worse it feels when it returns. This weekend my ex came to visit, and it affected me so much more than I ever thought it would, I ended up...
    PaigePerry PaigePerry 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

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    I'm so overwhelmed I've been using meth

    since November of 2013. Four days ago I had 16days clean and sober, but I relapsed. That was the longest I had gone without meth since I first used. I'm not sure if I really want to stop. I miss feeling sober and healthy. I only stayed clean off meth because I got put in rehab...
    confusednabused confusednabused 18-21, F 1 Response Apr 30, 2014

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    The Stuggle of An Artist

    I relapsed, my drug of choice was crack cocaine, and alcohol.  I entered a rehab group a few weeks ago and Ive been learning alot.  At first I was struggling with talking about my emotions especially guilt, which is ironic because i can express my feelings fluently...
    reichofthedead reichofthedead 22-25, M 1 Response Mar 12, 2009

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    Yesterday at 10:30 pm,

    I started cutting again. God, it feels and felt so good. All the pent up anger, stress, pain, and sadness just came out. And I feel safer - more secure. The last time I cut was four years ago. I haven't done it in a while and it wasn't planned to start up again - but damn it, I...
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 Jan 31

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    I was clean for a month.

    I wanted to cut for weeks. Today, I found something to unscrew it with. It was just one cut, But I want to more now.
    PullTheFuckingTrigger PullTheFuckingTrigger 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 4, 2014

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    You knew I’d fall in love with you the from

    the very first day when you eliminated my sadness and numbed all my pain. You gave me the confidence that before you I lacked but deprived me of things that I'll never get back. The whole time I believed you were harmless and fun; I was blinded of the damage you truly had done...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13, 2014

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    I spent my day in a complete haze

    and stupor. I was half awake and half asleep all day... Apparently my mum called and I answered the phone but I have absolutely no memory of it. I took two Seroquil tablets instead of 1/4. I fell asleep a few times and woke up scared, sweating and alone; not in bed but on the...
    gybe gybe 18-21, M Dec 16, 2014

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    Orrale Pues

    I fuck1n relapsed god dang it life is a ***** was set up to fail since birth ..plus god is toying with my emotions ....its like COME ON f uCK ............IT LIKE A ROLLER COASTER AND IM NOT BIPOLAR
    AngelTrey AngelTrey 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19, 2012

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    Better Now

     Coming up to six months clean, feel great, went to treatment and it was a great help, feel confident in my recovery and myself.  My spirit is growing strong and my faith is powerful, have lots of hope today,   :D
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 1 Response Aug 10, 2008

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    ive been doing okay but ive completely relapsed.

    i havent self harmed in a while now, probably a month and everything just got all bottled up inside me and i just cant deal with anything anymore i really just want to jump in front of a train or traffic lately life has been really difficult i feel like im going crazy
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F Jan 29, 2014

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    Oh god it's been ages

    since I've done anything and I've been so proud of myself I even somehow stopped myself when things got really bad, but now something that really shouldn't affect me much just pushed me over the edge and now I feel so emotionless and I can't find a reason to hold on.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F a week ago

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    I thought I was in the clear: ten months

    without using prescription pain pills and eight months without drinking. I didn't think I would revert back to my old ways, but I did. I'm now back to square one, and I don't know if I can stay clean anymore.
    Westw30 Westw30 18-21, M Oct 24, 2014

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    courrtttxx courrtttxx 13-15, F 3 days ago

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    3 and a half weeks clean i couldn't make it to

    four but this is what happens when you dont want to live anymore. relapsed today. bad but not bad enough to take away the urges. i want to do it again but im scared of getting caught...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 13-15, F 1 Response Jul 9, 2014

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    I Hate This ****

    I relapsed after 11 months clean.  ******* crack, what an evil drug itr is,  I thought I was done with it, was doing all the right things, went to treatment, was attending N.A., have a sponsor and was working the steps.  One month away from my medallion too, ...
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 10 Responses Dec 3, 2007

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    And just like that, one

    and a half months of progress was obliterated. And I broke more promises than I can count in a matter of 10 minutes.
    tryingtokeepcalm tryingtokeepcalm 13-15, F Jun 18, 2014

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