Post
Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Relapsed

A group for those who have gone back to addictive behaviors that we thought we had left behind 150 People

    On March 7th, 2015 I got my year back off Meth.

    but I've been drinking here and there. I don't get drunk like I used. I socially drink. Is this considered not being sober!? What do you guys think!?
    M060110M M060110M 18-21, F 4 Responses Apr 27

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Held the cutting urge

    for a good while before a person I hate walked into my family's life again, just when I was happy we were finally rid of him. Recently relapsed and don't feel like I'll hold it the urges for more that a few hours at a time now.
    ExoticSnow ExoticSnow 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 23, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oh god it's been ages

    since I've done anything and I've been so proud of myself I even somehow stopped myself when things got really bad, but now something that really shouldn't affect me much just pushed me over the edge and now I feel so emotionless and I can't find a reason to hold on.
    Darkerthanlightash Darkerthanlightash 16-17, F Feb 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I quit drugs for 8 months.

    and i started again.
    2Bthin100 2Bthin100 18-21, F Nov 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I spent my day in a complete haze

    and stupor. I was half awake and half asleep all day... Apparently my mum called and I answered the phone but I have absolutely no memory of it. I took two Seroquil tablets instead of 1/4. I fell asleep a few times and woke up scared, sweating and alone; not in bed but on the...
    gybe gybe 18-21, M Dec 16, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel
    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 18-21, M Sep 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    3 and a half weeks clean i couldn't make it to

    four but this is what happens when you dont want to live anymore. relapsed today. bad but not bad enough to take away the urges. i want to do it again but im scared of getting caught...
    sademptynothing sademptynothing 16-17, F 1 Response Jul 9, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yet again I have relapsed with cutting I never

    thought this would be so hard to stop....
    EmilyPop28 EmilyPop28 16-17, F 1 Response Sep 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    5 months. I was so proud.

    :( Today wasn't even an especially bad day I just couldn't stop myself. I had a feeling I was going to cut again I got the blades days before I did it. I feel like such a failure... I have PE on Thursday it's gonna be so hard to hide them :(
    unfaiir unfaiir 13-15, F May 6, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I cut today after not cutting

    for almost 2 years. I was just so angry and I could not control it.
    GodsArte GodsArte 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Almost a month clean

    until now. I wish I was stronger and able to do this, no one is going to want a girl like me.
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F Sep 2, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To everyone that was depending on me to stay

    clean, I'm so sorry. I just couldn't sit around pretending that I wasn't screaming on the inside. You want me to go along with your theory that I'm fine, that seven months have passed so that makes me 'okay'. I'm not. I had to do it. I was drowning and I needed my trusty life...
    YouShallNotPass21 YouShallNotPass21 13-15, F Oct 12, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was clean for a month.

    I wanted to cut for weeks. Today, I found something to unscrew it with. It was just one cut, But I want to more now.
    Insanexx Insanexx 13-15, M 1 Response Sep 4, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Yesterday at 10:30 pm,

    I started cutting again. God, it feels and felt so good. All the pent up anger, stress, pain, and sadness just came out. And I feel safer - more secure. The last time I cut was four years ago. I haven't done it in a while and it wasn't planned to start up again - but damn it, I...
    ImagineA ImagineA 16-17 Jan 31

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Relapse

    I've been battling these feelings off and on for eight years now. Sometimes it's months in between them, but the longer in between, the worse it feels when it returns. This weekend my ex came to visit, and it affected me so much more than I ever thought it would, I ended up...
    PaigePerry PaigePerry 18-21, F 2 Responses Nov 19, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel
    BeatTheBest BeatTheBest 18-21, M Mar 14

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Three weeks down the drain

    because im absolutely pathetic.
    noseatbeltsong noseatbeltsong 18-21 1 Response Mar 16

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I was 45 days clean. I was triggered

    for weeks and it got to a point where I couldn't handle anything anymore. Now I'm back to 0 days clean.
    deleted deleted 26-30 Mar 11

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Well the other day I relapsed

    for the first time in a month. I was doing so well. It was so bad. I feel like im going down hill again. I have so much going on I can't seem to cope with. Everything in my life is messing up. I don't know how much longer I can fight this. I feel like giving up with life.
    WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore WhatsThePointInLifeAnymore 18-21, M 1 Response Jun 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ive been doing okay but ive completely relapsed.

    i havent self harmed in a while now, probably a month and everything just got all bottled up inside me and i just cant deal with anything anymore i really just want to jump in front of a train or traffic lately life has been really difficult i feel like im going crazy
    mariie97 mariie97 16-17, F Jan 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    No. Dammit no. **** me,

    I hate myself now with a crystal clear fury. The pleasures of weed, pills, and emotionless sex have caught me again... After so long apart, the demons found me again. Or perhaps it would suffice to say that I found them. You see, I knew exactly where these demons awaited, and...
    immortalspirit immortalspirit 31-35, M 3 Responses May 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I relapsed tonight. I haven't went all out with

    it like I did tonight in so long. It must have been an hour I was cutting. I was just so angry once I started, and didn't want to stop because of how deserving I thought it was. The scary part about it is how much relief I feel. Relief is so hard to find and cutting always seems...
    mentallytortured mentallytortured 18-21, F 1 Response Nov 17, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Better Now

     Coming up to six months clean, feel great, went to treatment and it was a great help, feel confident in my recovery and myself.  My spirit is growing strong and my faith is powerful, have lots of hope today,   :D
    LanBobway LanBobway 51-55 1 Response Aug 10, 2008

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Should I Feel Bad!?

    Long story short, I first tried crystal Meth with my two older brothers and my sister-in-law. That was about 5 years ago. We used to tweak every day. Thought we had it all under control but eventually things got ugly in a blink of an eye. So my oldest brother and his girl moved...
    M060110M M060110M 18-21, F 1 Response Aug 15, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I didn't mean to, few months clean

    and now I'm back in business. **** you self harm
    deleted deleted 26-30 Apr 25

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I haven't cut since before Christmas,

    I go on these long brakes without it and I think I have it all under control but everything just comes back harder. I tried to resist, but I broke apart a disposable razor and relapsed. I did it right before my boyfriend got home and even when he walked in they didn't stop...
    FarrahRelates FarrahRelates 22-25, F Jan 31, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Oh **** that'd take forever.

    I relapsed in May, went back to jail in July, got out in August in the drug court program, ran, got rearrested in beginning of September, got released on halloween. Been out and have been using on and off. Haven't gotten bad, and idk if I'll stop. Tbh at the moment it doesn't...
    proffllama proffllama 18-21, M Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    ****

    Argghhhhhh....I have relapsed and spent the last 24 hours smoking crack.  After 8 months of sobriety.  There were various triggers that contributed to my relapse like excess money and time off work.  Plus I don't think I ever fully accepted that I don't want to do...
    ReformedAutomaton ReformedAutomaton 36-40, M 27 Responses Sep 20, 2007

    Your Response

    Cancel

    A couple weeks ago I had a relapse in cutting.

    I don't know why, I mean life was't too bad. I just spent $200 on a shock collar for my dog, and he chewed up the remote... and I was devastated because my father said he'd watch the dog and he didn't, he left him alone so he could work on his car. I cut that night and had to...
    MissAutumn MissAutumn 18-21, F Apr 10

    Your Response

    Cancel
    courrtttxx courrtttxx 13-15, F Feb 23

    Your Response

    Cancel

    To everyone that just read the title

    and felt a huge wave of disappointment, I'm sorry. I truly am. I've met some amazing and supportive people on here that know some of my struggles. I would never want to disappoint anyone of you. I know relapsing is a choice. But what most people don't know is how out of my...
    sadvibes sadvibes 18-21, F 4 Responses Oct 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    so yeah.... i relapsed😭 i cut again.

    i need help... HELP ME😭🔫
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 16-17, F May 29, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I thought i had my depression under control

    and havent harmed myself in months but tonight I relapsed and hurt myself again.. seeing as my psychiatric nurse and doctor has given up on my why should i not give up on myself
    klxo klxo 18-21, F Nov 15, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I am a chronic relapser.

    I have relapsed so many times I've lost count. The worst part is that once you have a foundation of recovery and you've been through the same horrible experience of getting fvcked up for a while, really enjoying it at first, then doing it a bit more often than you know you...
    EmperorJulian EmperorJulian 46-50, M 3 Responses Nov 10, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I didn't self-harm for over a month up

    until tonight. 0 days clean again..
    Ellytheoutcast Ellytheoutcast 13-15, F 1 Response Aug 19, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    You knew I’d fall in love with you the from

    the very first day when you eliminated my sadness and numbed all my pain. You gave me the confidence that before you I lacked but deprived me of things that I'll never get back. The whole time I believed you were harmless and fun; I was blinded of the damage you truly had done...
    addictionbarbie addictionbarbie 18-21, F 1 Response Feb 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Orrale Pues

    I fuck1n relapsed god dang it life is a ***** was set up to fail since birth ..plus god is toying with my emotions ....its like COME ON f uCK ............IT LIKE A ROLLER COASTER AND IM NOT BIPOLAR
    AngelTrey AngelTrey 22-25, M 1 Response Nov 19, 2012

    Your Response

    Cancel
    NemoNoMore NemoNoMore 18-21, F 2 Responses Apr 26, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Last relapse date: Tuesday,

    April 21st, 2015 As soon as I wake up it starts. “Brand new day, some 'ole struggle.” But this time the cravings are stronger than usual. Great way to start the day. Not even after 7 and I'm already raging for a drink. I go through the normal routine of “self talk...
    TheOneTheyWarnedYouAbout TheOneTheyWarnedYouAbout 22-25 1 Response May 1

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I thought I was in the clear: ten months

    without using prescription pain pills and eight months without drinking. I didn't think I would revert back to my old ways, but I did. I'm now back to square one, and I don't know if I can stay clean anymore.
    Westw30 Westw30 18-21, M Oct 24, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Today, i realized that

    after almost 2 years clean from my eating disorders, i relapsed. I lost 10lbs in 2-3 weeks... I feel like my depression is taking control of me again and i almost cut again a few days ago after a year clean... I don't know what's going on, and that scares me..
    jardougall jardougall 18-21, F Apr 20

    Your Response

    Cancel

    And just like that, one

    and a half months of progress was obliterated. And I broke more promises than I can count in a matter of 10 minutes.
    tryingtokeepcalm tryingtokeepcalm 13-15, F Jun 18, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    oops... not my fault.

    . I just want I be pretty...
    shannacobb2000 shannacobb2000 16-17, F 2 Responses Jul 13, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    Recovery Vs. Relapse

    I have been an addict to self harm and a victim to bulimia since 7th grade but it had gotten progressively worse throughout high school. After a bunch of warning signs, my social worker and my therapist both had me checked out at the "crisis center" just to make sure I wasn't...
    FarrahSpada FarrahSpada 18-21, F 1 Response Jul 30, 2013

    Your Response

    Cancel

    resin in an old pipe.

    I didn't even wait until I had pot.
    untamablekitty untamablekitty 26-30, F 2 Responses Sep 8, 2014

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I just need to write this one out,

    on the reason I relapsed. And hopefully it'll be the last time..for real. So I work at an restaurant, and I'm constantly picking up boxes and moving around fast. So I always end up giving myself numerous paper cuts and scratches on accident. And before I started self harming and...
    KyleElise KyleElise 18-21, F 1 Response Mar 19

    Your Response

    Cancel

    I relapsed again Saturday night,

    I was thinking about doing it for so long. I craved it, and it just kind of happened. I feel much better now after I did it, hopefully I'll make it longer next time. Summer is coming and I don't need more scars/cuts on my legs!